Hyperdimension Neptunia is Real!
by Some Random Tosser
Summary: One day, due to a faulty PS3, Neptune of Gamindustri appears in front of a certain teen and takes him there. He ends up in Gamindustri and he now must 'assist' Neptune and co. in their epic quest to retrieve the Key Fragments. Preferably without dying.
1. No Semicolons in Rebirth

**Hello, fanfiction readers. I am Some Random Tosser, both in name and label. Wouldn't you know it; it's been over two years since I started writing this self-insert story. As you can probably tell, the quality of this story has been wonky as hell, bouncing up and down between "oh good God, I didn't even know my eyes had arms or katanas but now they're using them to commit seppuku" and "this is mildly tolerable and I have nothing better to do every two weeks".**

**It's only been recently that my arts are being applied more appropriately. Because of this, I feel that my first chapter as it is now is a poor representation of my abilities as they are currently. I know rewriting this first chapter is going to violate the historical sin of leaving products pristine and how they were released but, for those naysayers, that's why I'm leaving Chapter 2 and the others alone. Chapter 1 will be rewritten, to reflect my abilities as they are now.**

**By the way, if you're reading this after Re;Birth has been released, know that this fanfic is based off the original game and not its re-release.  
><span>**

**So I will not hesitate any longer. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls alike, I present to you:**

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><p><strong>Hyperdimension Neptunia is Real!<strong>

**Chapter 1: No Semicolons in Rebirth**

Would Jacob Winters call himself an exceptional individual? Well, sometimes. On one hand, he felt as if life handed him an instruction manual that seemed to differ from everyone else's and he could feel the differences between himself and those around him like a physical object. On the other hand, there were exceptional individuals in the world who stood in front of a huge line of tanks, sacrificed their professional sporting careers to rescue people in trouble without hesitation or make famous speeches to shake the status quo of an entire nation. Those were only the successful exceptional individuals. No matter how much Jacob was unlike his peers, he was still like them in that he spent his winter nights on his desktop, distracting himself with funny pictures.

His appearance wasn't conventional or unconventional either: Jacob's hand rested in his hair of black ring curls as he used his other hand to operate the mouse. He wore a brown t-shirt with lighter brown shorts and he stood at six feet when he wasn't sitting down. His brown eyes didn't run across the contents of the web page he was looking as much as they were walking along without a hurry.

Then his dad knocked on the wall of his bedroom from the other side. Jacob hated it when he did that; the sound echoed throughout the entire room like hammering nails into thick wood and it utterly shattered the bubble of serenity he built. Still, requests were requests and Jacob had to answer them lest his dad guilt tripped him again. He turned off his computer monitor and exited the room before turning around to look down the stairs. John stood in the middle of the stairs, dressed in a dark blue wool jacket and dark blue shorts with a patch of white stripes on the left leg.

"Hey Jake, we're leaving for the footy game now," he informed his son. "You have the entire house to yourself."

"Nice." The reason for the reply's dull delivery was that, spending most of his time in his room on his computer, he was very used to being alone even when the rest of his family was in his house. At the very least, he could play his music as loud as he wanted without anyone complaining. "So when will you be back?"

"About three hours. Maybe a bit longer... Are you sure you're going to be alright here on your own?"

Jacob let out a soft sigh. "Dad, you asked me this last time and the time before. The time before that one, Mum asked me. As I have said each time, I will be fine, okay?"

"I know but don't you ever get bored."

"No. I have the Internet, an endless world of wonders. I'll never get bored."

Now it was John's turn to sigh. "Alright then. Zac and I will pick up Mum and Hannah on the way back, alright?"

"Mhm. Have fun."

"You too." John then descended down the stairs, quickly getting out of Jacob's sight.

Jacob walked back into his room. As he did, a new feeling overtook him. It was one thing to be told you're going to be alone for at least one eighth of a day. It was another to actually _be_ alone.

Jacob grinned and rubbed his hands together.

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><p>Unexpectedly, after about half an hour of websurfing and listening to his favourite songs at max volume, Jacob felt the boredom begin to set in. Finding good fanfiction was like trying to find gold in a septic tank and funny web videos weren't currently in his list of interests. Therefore, he went out into the main room and to the PS3 and widescreen TV tucked in the corner. The TV stood on top of a wooden cabinet with two shelves, two side cupboards and a lower drawer. The PS3 Slim sat on the bottom shelf.<p>

"Okay, what do I have..." he asked himself before opening the left cupboard to browse his PS3 game collection. "... Oh yeah." His eyes lit up as one game case caught his eye. He bought the game earlier today but never got around to playing it due to being sidetracked by private messages, forum posts and the repulsive notion of having to wait half an hour for the game to install whatever updates were released in the few hours after the game had come out. Nevertheless, that was a half hour that was looking mighty appealing right now, especially since the game in question was one he had been looking forward to for ages: Hyperdimension Neptunia.

Grinning, he took the disc out of the case. "Finally," he said to himself with a voice of pure satisfaction, "I shall play this game set in a world about video games. A JRPG of an adventure of epic proportions, clever jokes and sharp insight into our industry. Hopefully, anyway. But whatever. I am _not_ going to regret this." Then he finally—

The phone on the small wooden table behind him rang, piercing his "me time" like his dad's knocking. Groaning, he picked up the phone and answered. "Hello?"

_"Hey Jacob, it's dad."_

"Hey dad, what's up?"

_"Just calling to ask if everything's alright."_

"Yeah, everything's dandy. How's the game?"

_"We just got here. You really should've been here tonight,"_ said John with a great amount of zeal.

"Thanks but no thanks. Footy's not my thing."

_"Alright, alright. Have fun."_

"I will. Love you, Dad."

_"Love you too."_

And Jacob hung up. "Finally," he began again, "I shall— oh bugger it." He put the game into the PS3 and sat in his rocking chair that began rocking back and forth vigorously with Jacob's movements. After the main screen of the PS3 showed itself, he quickly scrolled across to the Game menu and scrolled down to see the disc icon with "Hyperdimension Neptunia" listed after it. He highlighted the icon and waited. After two seconds, the wallpaper was replaced by a blue screen with the head of Purple Heart, the alter-ego of Neptune the main protagonist. Having visited the game's website several times before it was finally released, he had a bit of knowledge about what he was in for. He pressed X on the disc icon and the screen faded to black. Jacob rocked even harder in anticipation.

His rocking began to slow down when a loud whirring sound started coming from the PS3. A purple glow was soon after emitted from the disc slot, USB ports and ventilation gaps. After the whirring sound reached its peak and the purple glows couldn't get any brighter, a small 'bang' sounded from within the console. The whirring and glowing died immediately. So did the PS3, if the smoke pouring out of the console's openings was of any indication.

"... What...?" he finally asked himself. "What what what what _WHAT?_"

Jacob quickly scurried off his rocking chair and to the PS3. He didn't touch it; he just stared at the smoking console. That just blew up inside. With his brand new game inside. His brand new game inside his $450 PS3 Slim. "H... How...?"

Before he had time to explode, he heard screaming from above him. This was weird because he was on the second floor of his house and there were only two floors in his house. Above his house was just empty sky. What was even weirder was that the screaming was getting progressively louder.

"... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA_AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_—"

... Now that he thought about it, this was beginning to sound a lot like an anime episode where some random tosser fell from the sky onto the unsuspecting normal person—

Jacob shot up immediately and ran to the left of the room. This proved to be unnecessary when a pink blur shot right through his room and through the middle of the second floor that he wasn't near. He heard the impact on the first floor and the sound of the hardwood floor breaking while he was lying on the floor, having been knocked over from the force of his second floor getting a brand new hole. He lied there for a few moments as he caught his breath. After getting his shock under control, Jacob stood up and walked to the edge of the massive hole. He looked up through the new hole in the roof and saw the night sky very clearly.

"... That's gonna take ages to fix..." he panted, still shocked from the unidentified falling object falling into his house at terminal velocity. Speaking of which, he looked down through the second floor hole to the first floor. A crater was present where a large section of the hardwood floor used to be and broken planks pointed up like rectangular stakes.

When he saw that a person was in the middle of the crater, he wasted no time running down the stairs to get to her. The purple blur that ruined his house belonged to the hair of the young girl curled up within her nest of destruction, seemingly sleeping. She also wore a white hoodie jacket lined with purple and white socks with sky blue stripes that reached up to the middle of her thighs. Jacob gulped. "Hey, um... are you okay?"

To his surprise, the purple shooting star groaned. She moved around a bit before sitting up and yawning, rubbing her eyes all the while. When she was done rubbing her eyes, she looked at Jacob and blinked. "Ugh... where am I...?" she asked, still fatigued.

"Hi," Jacob greeted. "Um..." He quickly ran out of words and pointed up to the hole in the second floor.

The girl's gaze followed his finger upwards. When she saw the hole and the other one after that, her eyes widened. "Whoa..." she remarked, waking up a bit more. "Did I do that?"

"Yup," Jacob answered simply.

"Eesh... That's gonna take ages to fix."

"I know. So..." he extended a hand to her as a wordless offer to help her up. "My name is Jacob Winters. You are?"

The purple-haired girl looked at his hand with an odd energy. If Jacob was to describe the look, he'd groan and ask if he really had to but, if pressed, he'd say that it seemed to be partly admiration, partly confusion and partly surprise. She grinned fully before grabbing Jacob's hand in an unorthodox manner that looked somewhat like she was about to engage in an arm wrestle. "My name is Neptune, and I'll be glad to be your blood brother! Or sister!"

"... Actually, I was offering to help you up."

"... Oh. Well, can it be both?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Aw."

Jacob lifted Neptune off the ground and gave her a bit of space to dust herself off. Despite falling at tremendous speeds through a two story house, not even her clothes looked slightly worse for wear beyond the dust. Now that he could look at her a bit more closely, he could tell she had a very unique appearance. Beyond just her purple hair, that is. Two white clips in the shape of d-pads on a Nintendo Gamecube controller adorned her hair which was shoulder-length and composed of many messy bangs, the ones on the sides turned up slightly. Standing upright, she reached up to a bit below Jacob's shoulders and she looked like she was fourteen at the latest. She also wore a white tubular choker and purple shoes with blue laces. Her white hoodie's strings were modelled after USB plugs and the zip tag was a circular emblem with a purple N in the middle of it.

... Now that he thought about it, she looked a lot like the Neptune in Hyperdimension Neptunia. And they shared the same name.

"Hold the phone..." Jacob muttered. "Could you come with me for a second, please?" He didn't wait for her to say "sure, I guess" before he took off up the stairs quickly, Neptune following not too far behind.

"Whatcha lookin' for? Is it... a secret weapon? Or maybe some special hidden extras, like artwork?" the girl asked as Jacob fished out the Hyperdimension Neptunia case from the cupboard. He stood up and inspected the back and front of the case before he looked again at Neptune, who casually walked to his side and looked at the case as well. Currently, they were looking at the back of the case on which was printed the picture of a girl that looked exactly like Neptune. "Hey," Neptune started, "that girl looks a lot like me. I'm prettier, though, but we look a lot alike."

Jacob decided to wait a few seconds.

Neptune's eyes shot wide open. "_Holy crapperoni!_" she finally yelled as she recoiled back. "I'm a _video game character!_" She looked down at her body and inspected herself fervently. "I'm— you— game— buh— wuh... whoa..." Neptune placed a hand on her forehead and took a deep breath.

"I have a rocking chair if you want it," Jacob offered as he gestured to the chair in question.

"Thankilio, frienderino..." Neptune complied and sat down on the chair. "Whoa... I'm a video game character..."

Jacob sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I know... I'm surprised as well."

"You don't look it."

"Well, I've mentally prepared myself for events like these. I'd always imagined Godzilla appearing in my street one day and all the awesome adventures I'd have with a completely straight face. I'm surprised that I'm surprised you're here, to be honest."

"Well... okay then. Anyway, how's that for an opening twist, eh? I'm a video game character! And with a forgotten past to booty!"

"Oh yeah, you conveniently have amnesia," Jacob responded. "Want something to drink? Or eat?"

"You know about my amnesia?!"

"Yeah. I did a bit of reading of the game before I bought it."

Neptune's jaw dropped. "Wha?! You spoiled yourself? How could you?! Now the game's twists and turns won't—"

"No, no, no, no, no," Jacob cut her off. "I just did research on background information before I bought the game so I'd know what I was throwing sixty bucks away for."

Neptune pouted. "I still think you're a party pooper. Still... what do you know? I'm an amnesiac so I need you to tell me everything."

"I gathered. Anyway, I know that you come from a place called Gamindustri, there's the goddess realm Celestia and the human realm and there's this tome called Histoire, which is necessary to—"

"Wait!" cried Neptune as she stood up quickly from her chair but it was a rocking chair so it lurched forward and banged against the back of the purple-haired girl's legs. "Owies!"

"Ooh..." Jacob winced. "You alright there?"

"Yeah, just dandy-liony..." Neptune sat down on the blue carpet floor cross legged and rubbed her pained appendages. "Anyway, you said Histy?"

"I said Histoire but what about it?"

"I had a dream and Histy called to me for help in it and she's in Gamindustri and I need to get there. Do you know how to get to Gamindustri?"

"Well, considering that we're in what I call the real world and Gamindustri is a fictional locale located inside a disc that just blew up in my PS3..." Neptune looked towards the source of the odd smell and noticed the smoke coming from the console in question, "... I don't think we're going to Gamindustri any time soon."

"Aw, but I need to get there!" Neptune shouted as she stood back up. "Well, then it's up to me to find my way to Gamindustri and save Histy!" She punched upwards at the end of her speech and then she pointed to Jacob in an overly histrionic manner. "Come on, Jacob! Adventure awaits us!"

"Wait, what?" Jacob leaned back from the outstretched finger. "Why do I have to go? It's your job."

Neptune recoiled as if Jacob's words came to life and turned into a dog that barked at her. "B-B-B-But..." she stuttered. "But-But you're the smart, tall, snarky and dark guy who serves to be the exposition! You _have_ to join my team!"

"Why?"

"It's how these things work!"

"You're an amnesiac. You shouldn't know that."

Neptune clenched her fists into a tightness proportional to the size of her inflated cheeks. She quickly turned around, letting out the air and unclenching her fists at the same time, and walked to the end of the room with her arms crossed. She paced back and forth next to the wall, tapping her head with her finger.

"You need something?" he asked.

"Hush! I am planning something!" Neptune continued pacing back and forth. Two minutes passed before she suddenly brightened and snapped her fingers while shouting "HUZZAH!"

"What? What'd you think of?" Jacob inquired.

Neptune did not answer with words. Slowly, she walked over to Jacob, keeping her head low so that her bangs obscured her eyes from Jacob's gaze. "Jacob..." she began with an uncharacteristically quiet voice, "I don't have any friends here... I'm all alone in this completely alien place and I really need to get home..." Neptune then looked up at Jacob, executing what many otaku call the 'puppy dog eyes' manoeuvre. "_Please_ help me..." Her eyes wobbled and her mouth quivered. She looked at Jacob most intensely. She leaned forward and stood on the tips of her toes to get her face, her adorable little face, as close to Jacob's eyes as possible.

"You're going to have to do a lot better than that," Jacob answered with a look of complete indifference.

"Crackers!" Neptune threw up her arms and abandoned her cutey wooty puppy dog eyes completely. "How did you resist my adorable charms? There isn't a male protagonist alive who should be shielded from that technique!"

"Unfortunately for you, my heart of ice takes up even less space than a grain of sand and it's located somewhere within the black hole occupying the bit where my heart should be," he explained.

Neptune stomped her right foot and she walked towards the staircase. "Well, fine! Someone's life depends on it and I, the beautiful heroine, can't just sit idly by! With or without your help, I am gonna get back to Gamindustri!"

"Alright, alright, fine..." Jacob sighed. "I'll go with you."

Neptune stopped at the top of the stairs. She looked back at Jacob with a look of befuddlement. "... Wait, really?"

"Yes," Jacob answered.

"That's really all it took to convince you?"

"Yes," Jacob asserted through gritted teeth. "I can't let you go out there alone."

Neptune raised an eyebrow. "Huh. To think you would've helped me if I just appealed to your hero complex."

Jacob rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Let's just get this over with. I have about two hours to help you find your way back — _if_ there is a way back — and get back here."

"Why two hours?"

"Well, my family's away and they'll be getting around in about two hours."

"Oooh!" Neptune sounded. "You have a family?"

"Yes. What about it?"

"Well, you don't know a lot of people with families. You know, orphaned heroes or boring loner types who stay home all day until they get a harem at a school."

"... Neptune, you are an amnesiac. You don't know anyone."

Neptune's eyes widened. "Oh yeah!"

Jacob slapped his forehead.

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><p>After Jacob donned his black hoodie and black sneakers with white socks, the two of them left the house. The winter night was dark and it was the responsibility of the power poles to illuminate the street that the two of them strode on.<p>

"As you can see," Jacob began speaking to Neptune, who was entranced by her new surroundings, "we have a park and a playground over to our left. There's also a sewer hole there but it's dangerous so don't get near it."

"Wait!" Neptune stopped in her tracks. "Have you ever explored this sewer hole?"

"No, not really. Never took much interest in it, what with all the possible dangerous spiders. Why?"

"It could be a portal to go back to my home!" Neptune concluded as if this made perfect sense.

"... Neptune, if that was the case, the architects and, by extension, the government, would probably know and seal off access to the sewer hole with slightly more than a mesh of wooden planks."

"Who cares? It happens all the time, now come on!" Neptune grabbed Jacob's hand and took him across the park.

At least, she would have if Jacob didn't force his hand out of Neptune's grasp. "How would you know that it happens all the time? You're an amnesiac."

"Ooh, you make me so angry! Clap that trap shut and come on, already!"

Neptune ran across the park while Jacob walked with no sense of urgency whatsoever. After a minute or so of running and walking, the duo came across the sewer hole. To Jacob's surprise, the wood covering the hole wasn't there. If that wasn't enough, an eerie ethereal glow of purple surrounded the hole leading into the horizontal space.

"Ha! I told you so!" Neptune pumped her arms triumphantly while Jacob crossed his.

"That's... unusual..."

"You go first," Neptune commanded. "You know, chivalry and all that stuff."

"What? Why me? Why not you?"

"Because I'm a girl and you're a boy and this is a thing boys should be doing."

"But there are spiders in there! And maybe rats! And most likely sewage!"

Neptune bent down to look into the hole. "Looks clean to me. I think you're just a chicken. No offence, mind. Chickens can be really strong if you hit them enough times."

Jacob bent down as well and looked into the tunnel. It stretched out into eventual darkness but, from what he could see, it looked brand new. Not a sign of filth could be seen anywhere. "... Fine." Jacob got down on all fours and crawled into the tunnel. Neptune followed after him and they crawled along in the narrow space. "If I even so much as hear a rat or a spider, we are out of here, you hear me?"

"Sure, whatevs. Just don't fart, okay? I'm right behind you."

"All the more reason to crawl back as fast as you can when I doOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

All of a sudden, Jacob found himself falling through complete blackness. This was odd because he couldn't see any holes in front of him when he was crawling.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed that chapter. If you are a new reader, I hope this inspires you to look through the thirty other chapters of this fanfic and I hope you enjoy yourself if you do. Any constructive feedback you can provide would (possibly) be of tremendous assistance. The adventure's only getting started, my friends!<strong>

**Anyway, for those wondering, the exceptional individuals mentioned at the start of the chapter are Tank Man, Shavarsh Vladimirovich Karapetyan and Martin Luther King Jr.**


	2. Arriving in Gamindustri

**I know I should have seen this coming but I only have one review for this story. This displeases me. Anyway, have fun.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Arriving in Gamindustri<strong>

Neptune was not someone who liked to wake up early. If she had her way, she would sleep until the end of time or until she got bored enough to get out of bed. For this reason, Neptune had decided that she was going to stay in bed until she either got too hot, too hungry or too bored.

The blaring alarm clock had other ideas.

"Shuuuuuut… up!" she groaned as she backhanded the offending sound of hell as hard as her tired arms would allow, which was more than sufficient if the sudden sound of an alarm clock flying into a wall was anything to go by. This had the fortunate side effect of getting Neptune up out of bed. "Oh, crackers. Did I break something?" This question was left unanswered as she looked around the room containing the bed she was currently in. "Where am I? My room…?"

The room she was located in was rather feminine, or girly, or whatever floats your boat. It had orange walls decorated with small hearts (that is, heart drawings), red curtains decorated with small hearts, a yellow roof that, for a change of pace, was not decorated in small hearts and a purple tile floor with a yellow carpet with a red border resting on top of it. There was a small beige table with a white top accompanied by a plush chair. Two different corners of the room were occupied by wooden cupboards and a wooden bookshelf respectively. In another corner of the room, a giant syringe filled with a strange purple fluid (with star markings, bizarrely) was propped up.

"Oh, you're up. Good morning sleepyhead!" greeted the owner of a cheerful voice that just entered the room with a bucket and a first aid kit before sitting on a chair next to Neptune's bed and placing the equipment to her side. This girl had orange eyes with pale orange curly hair that was in the style of some sort of unkempt hime cut. She wore a woolly jumper of the shoulder-less variety (that is, having sleeves and torso cover without shoulder cover) and she had a black hairband with a decal in the shape of a white circle with a gap where the line marking the radius would be. Around her neck, she wore a choker with a pink heart also having the same decal in the centre. A satchel, also pink with a decal in the centre, was strapped around her waist and right below was an incredibly small red tartan skirt that reached halfway down her thighs. Had Neptune not been staring at the girl's chest, she might have noticed all of this. "Well, good afternoon, technically…"

Neptune, having a somewhat tentative grasp on how a conversation works, was understandably a bit nervous. "Um, this isn't my room, huh? Is it yours? Why'm I tucked into your bed so snugly?" she asked while rubbing the back of her head as part of your average anime expression of modesty.

The girl wasn't put off, though. She was incredibly friendly. "Well, let's see…" she began as she grasped her chin with her index finger and thumb as an expression of thoughtful recollection. "It all happened last night." She paced around the room as she recited this. "I looked up into the sky and I saw a shooting star. That was you."

Neptune looked confused. "I was a shooting star? Are you yanking my hoodie strings? I fell from the sky?"

"I'm pretty sure," confirmed the girl with a nod. "I followed you to the ground with my eyes and you definitely slammed into the earth like a spear." The girl wore a somewhat proud smile that you wouldn't expect to see on someone with a modest depostion like hers. "I pulled you from the ground you pierced so elegantly and carried you to my bed, since you were passed out!"

Neptune was clearly impressed. "All by yourself? That's cool, thanks! You're a lot stronger than you look."

The girl continued smiling. "I attend a nursing school. Transporting limp bodies is part of our training, so I'm used to it! My name is Compa, um…"

"Oh, I'm Neptune. Compa, huh? Then should I call you… Com… uh… whatever. Compa's fine."

"It's nice to meet you, Nept-… Neppee… Neptaa… Ne-pelvis… Nep… tumor… W-wah…" The inability to give Neptune a nickname was apparently so crushing to Compa's self-esteem that it caused tears to well up in her eyes.

As Neptune was not blind and her brain was still located in her skull (somewhat), she managed to pick up on Compa's impending ocular gushers and was quick to try and calm her down. "Oh, is it confusing you?" she asked, surprisingly without panicking like most people do in the presence of someone about to cry. "Okay, then you can call me Neptuna, Nep-Nep, Neppermint or something else!"

This seemed to calm Compa down. "Okay, then I pick Nep-Nep. It's nice to meet you, Nep-Nep!" Compa re-greeted before saying, with a serious look (that is, a serious look by Compa's moe standards), "By the by, I noticed you're all beat up everywhere. Allow me to take a look real quick."

Neptune inspected her jacket-less body and, sure enough, she had scrapes and bruises all over her. "Oh, yeah, I am kind of scraped up, huh? Thanks, nurse-in-training. I trust you with this important task!"

"Sure, but I've just started... and I'm not too savvy… I get bandages all tangled up," she nervously admitted before bending down to her right to pick up a damp sponge and the spray bottle. "Your injuries aren't bad, but the scratches need disinfecting. After that, I'll wrap you up. It might sting a little, but hang in there."

She scrubbed Neptune's numerous scratches and wounds with the sponge before squirting the disinfectant onto them. True to her word, it stung and Neptune was squirming quite a bit when it was being squirted on. However, it was soon over and aside from the persistent tingling, the stinging sensation was gone. "How much bandage should I use?" Compa asked as she picked up a pair of scissors and a roll of bandages.

"Hmm…" Neptune thought for a moment. "Use it all up!" Or so one would think. "Wrap me all up so that it doesn't come loose! Besides, it's a waste if they don't last."

"Okay, then I'll just use what I have." Compa responded with the medical knowledge of a nurse-in-training. "Please let me know if it's too tight. This way… that way… loop it over…"

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><p>Jacob was lying in a bed in a room right next to where Neptune and Compa were conversing. He'd been awake even before that blasted alarm clock went off. He just couldn't be bothered getting out of the bed. His body ached all over and his headache felt like the result of sticking your tongue into an electrical socket except without the death or coma part. Between staying in the snug bed (he made a mental note to remind himself to thank the nice person who tucked him in) and getting up and walking around, the former was much more appealing.<p>

"Huh?" Neptune's confusion echoed through the door. "Nngh, hold on, slow down! Be carefu-" Jacob assumed she was being strangled. He knew that she wouldn't die, so he kept resting. He was too tired to care.

"I don't want it to come loose or you'll trip over it!" Compa responded while grunting. "Hmph, hah! There!"

"Ahhhh-guuuuh-wooooo!" Neptune choked out, beginning to grate on Jacob's nerves. "This is way too tight! I'm gonna snap, can't breathe, can't make… more… comments…"

After a moment of silence, Compa spoke again. "Nep-Nep?" Jacob made another mental note to remind himself to never allow Neptune to nickname anything else ever. "… Did I do it too tight after all? Please get a hold of yourself! I'll unwrap you right n-ahhh!"

The tumbling sound was enough to make Jacob think '_What the hell is going on out there?_' and get out of the bed, albeit with great effort. During that time, he discovered that Neptune did not lose consciousness, contrary to what he believed before. He also discovered that his clothes were still on, although quite dirty. "It's tighter now! You're just tangling me up! Stop! Gimme scissors… gimme now!"

After stumbling towards the door, he opened it and peaked into the next room. Compa and Neptune were currently on the floor tangled up in the bandages used to patch up Neptune, who was completely naked except for the bandages that were conveniently placed and the other 95% of the bandages that were everywhere else on her body. A bandage on her forearm was even done in a bowtie. "What in blazes are you two doing?" he asked tiredly.

"Jacob!" Neptune called or squeaked or whatever she could manage in her state. "Scissors! Help! Now!"

"Alright, fine," Jacob complied by walking over to the scissors and using them to free Neptune and Compa from their bindings. He quickly looked away before Neptune's bandages fell off so he wouldn't see her naked. "I'm going back to my room. Put on your clothes and then get me."

"Right, right…" Neptune responded before Jacob shut the door to 'his' room. "Oh! Thank you!"

"You're welcome!"

Neptune looked towards Compa, who also looked relieved to be released from the bandages, and asked "Where are my clothes?"

"Oh, they're right here," Compa answered as she stood up and walked over to a pile of Neptune's clothes that were neatly folded and looked very clean. She picked them up and dropped them at the feet of Neptune's bed. "I'll go and look at your friend's injuries while you put on your clothes. Tell us when you're done, okay?" she asked as she walked over to Jacob's door.

"Okey-dokey!" affirmed Neptune.

* * *

><p>"Excuse me?" said the nurse-in-training as she opened the door to Jacob's room.<p>

"Yes?" answered the male teen as he lay in bed, obviously still tired. Compa made her way over to him and sat down beside him.

"I'm Compa. I need to look at your wounds, Mr..."

"Jacob," he responded before he extended his right hand towards Compa while wearing as much of a smile as he could in his tired state. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Compa."

Just as before with Neptune, Compa looked very surprised and bashful at his gesture and her face began to glow red. After a second or two had passed, she gained an interest in her feet. "W-well, I'm flattered that you've warmed to me so quickly, b-but I'm ju-just not ready to be a blood sister y-yet. I hope you understand."

"It's a handshake. It's a greeting ritual."

Compa looked at Jacob again and blinked. "… oh." She then grabbed his right hand with her own and gave it a shake. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you two, Jaco… bo… Jakey-"

"Please, no nicknames," Jacob cut her off. "Jacob or Jake will do. I don't care either way."

"Oh, okay then. I'll just call you 'Jake'. Is that okay?"

"Sure. Anyway, my wounds?"

"Oh, ri-" Compa stopped all of the sudden as if she suddenly realised something, which is fair enough because she did. "Oh no!"

Jacob sighed. "What's wrong?"

"I left my medical supplies in Nep-Nep's room!" Jacob cringed at the nickname. "Now I can't treat your injuries! I can't walk in on her while she's changing!"

"Then just wait until Neptune's dressed to get your supplies," was Jacob's rational suggestion. It seemed to work, as Compa clearly calmed down. Just then, Neptune poked her head in through the door.

"I'm done! You can come out now!" she called before slinking back into her room. Compa stood up and walked out and Jacob followed suit albeit with a bit more difficulty. Soon, Neptune was sitting on the bed with Jacob at her side and Compa on the chair. "By the way, I was thinking while I was getting dressed… where am I?"

Compa answered promptly. "We're in the Central City of Planeptune."

"I remember that," Jacob commented. "I think Gamindustri is divided into four regions: Planeptune, Lastation, Leanbox and Lowee. Is that right?"

Compa nodded. "Yes, that's absolutely correct. They are the four landmasses floating around beneath Celestia. Sometimes they come close to one another and drift away."

"Wait, these landmasses float?" Jacob asked, perplexed. "How the hell does that work?"

"I… I'm afraid I don't know. All I know is that they float around and when they get close enough, we can travel to another landmass. Remember?"

"Actually…" Jacob began, actually putting time into constructing his words in an appropriate way. This took about five seconds. "… I'm not from here."

"Oh?" Now Compa was confused. "Then, wouldn't Neptune have told you?"

"Nope," Neptune answered nonchalantly. "I don't remember anything. I have amnesia, so I need you to explain everything to me so-"

"Neptune, shush." Jacob could tell he was getting good at this because Neptune immediately stopped talking after he said "shush".

"Amnesia…" said Compa. "I've never seen a case in person. How original! Perhaps you bumped your head…"

"Like how she shot into the ground at terminal velocity?" Jacob snarked.

"No, that wouldn't work," Neptune added, "because I lost my memories _before_ I got here."

"You still smashed through a ceiling and the second floor of a building before embedding yourself into the wooden floor of my home."

"Oh, right," responded Neptune before she turned back to Compa, who was looking at Neptune's scalp with shock, and said "Isn't there medication or something for amnesia?"

All Neptune got was a shook head. "No, but don't worry," reassured Compa. "Amnesia's usually a temporary thing. I'm sure you'll begin to recall things eventually. My Grandpa always said "Fancy may kill or cure!" Get some sleep, take it easy and you'll be better in no time."

"I agree," said Jacob. "Neptune, your injuries aren't going to heal in an instant. Plus, I need some rest as well. My body feels like it's about to fall apart and I have a massive headache."

However, Neptune didn't seem to be listening. "… Get some sleep? I feel like someone asked me t- OH!" In a sudden burst of inspiration, Neptune leapt off of the bed and upright on the floor. "Jacob! Histy still needs our help!" Then she turned to Compa. "Histy called me for help in my dream!"

"In your dream? Then it's not real," Compa responded in a surprisingly matter-of-fact tone.

"No, it was real!" insisted Neptune. "Histy was like 'pa-choo' and sent me a telepathic message! Even Jacob can vouch for me!"

"It's true," Jacob said.

Compa thought for a moment. "It's possible. Actually, many places, Planeptune included, are being threatened by more and more monsters lately. The military powers failed to keep them from appearing. We can only defend ourselves and keep them at bay now."

"Then…" Neptune started, "there must be a boss generating all these monsters somewhere! I bet my mission is to go defeat that boss and save the world!"

While Jacob was more or less indifferent to Neptune's zeal, Compa was a bit worried. "You may be right about a boss, but no one has seen or heard anything like that. How will you find it? This is irrational, dangerous and absolutely impossible!"

Neptune wouldn't be put off, though. "Nobody's gonna beat the boss if we just sit here. Someone's gotta take initiative, y'know? That's us; me and Jacob!"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Plus, I can't ignore this once I've noticed it. Haven't you heard "Strike while the iron's hot"?"

This gave Compa pause for thought. "I believe Grandpa did have a saying like that. Yes, that's right. I wanted to become a nurse to save people." She became a bit more passionate. "So, why would I save the injured, but not those being threatened by monsters? How impolite of me!" Jacob could have sworn that Compa's pupils had vanished in favour of stars appearing in her eyes. "Nep-Nep, Jacob, I'm not the strongest, but I'll help. Three is better than two!"

"You will?" Neptune responded. "Don'tcha have school or something? You're not in the middle of summer vacation or anything, right?"

"Wait," Jacob cut in, "you actually attend schools? And you _learn?_"

"… yes?" Compa answered. "Why would you think we didn't?"

"I'm sorry, it's just unusual for me to hear. I wasn't expecting people to take school seriously in a place like this. Plus, that was a very good point, Neptune."

"Thankies!"

"Anyway," Compa continued, "this city's population has been declining due to monsters eating people." Jacob shivered for a moment. "Students are leaving school out of fear, so it's closed down for now. Classes are suspended until further notice."

"Shame you don't have online classes," said Jacob. "That way, the students could do their schoolwork on computers."

Compa thought for a moment. "That… is a very good idea. I will have to tell the principal the next time I see her."

"Well, sucks to hear about your school," said Neptune, "but that means you can camp out, right? Goodie! Let's go find the dungeon where the boss is waiting!"

"Hold on, Neptune," said Jacob. "We haven't fully recovered yet and if I go in a dungeon as I am now, I'll probably get killed. Plus, I don't think we've eaten yet. We should fix that."

"Jake's right," Compa concurred. "The both of you are still heavily injured and Jake can barely walk. I propose we put off searching for the boss until you're both adequately healed."

Neptune pouted, but she didn't bother to argue. "Fine. We'll go tomorrow. In the meantime, I want something to eat."

"Hang on then, I think I might be able to cook something up." Compa got up from her seat and walked towards the kitchen.

"Hey, do you want me to cook instead?" Jacob offered as he stood up shakily. "I can cook pretty much anything if I have a recipe and the ingredients."

"No thank you, Jake. You're still very injured. You need to rest," said Compa before closing the kitchen door. Neptune and Jacob were left alone in the room while Compa was in the kitchen.

"You can cook?" inquired Neptune after a few moments.

"Yeah," answered Jacob. "All I basically need is a recipe and a lot of time. I like to cook at my own pace, but enough about that. Can you tell me more about your dream?"

"Oh, sure thing!" Neptune crossed her arms and legs and thought for a moment. "I remember… Histy said she was my mom… and that she was locked up somewhere by my dad who took me away when I was born-"

"We're done with that discussion," Jacob cut in. "Let's talk about something else… how about we sing?"

"Ooh, that sounds fun! What do you want to sing?"

"Hm…"

* * *

><p><em>Ding ding ding! <em>went the alarm thirty minutes later. Compa looked towards the fry pan on the stove containing the nikujaga and smiled. She took three ceramic bowls and pairs of chopsticks with her to the fry pan and filled them all with the meat and potato dish. From outside the kitchen, she could hear laughing. "_What are they laughing_ _about?_" She carried the three bowls with surprising ease and skill out to the room where Neptune and Jacob were talking. Neptune was laughing her head off and Jacob was sniggering.

"I-I'm sorry…" Neptune managed to say. "It's too hard to say!"

"Okay, let's try again... Nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine bottles of beer…" Jacob sung.

"Okay, okay…" Neptune took a deep breath. "Nine hundred and ninety-nine-nine-" Then she started laughing again. Compa walked towards the table and placed the three bowls onto the table. "Oh…" Neptune paused to wipe some tears from her eyes. "Hi Compa! Is dinner ready yet?"

"Yes it is," she responded as she sat in her royal chair. "Come on, you two. Eat up."

Neptune and Jacob walked over to the table. "Kind of small to have dinner at, wouldn't you say?" he asked as he sat down cross-legged at the same time Neptune did.

Compa nodded. "It is, but you can hold your bowl on your lap and eat from it. Now, let's dine."

"What is it?" asked Neptune.

"It's nikujaga, with beef, potatoes and onion. I added some carrot for nutrition. I hope you don't mind."

"I don't," Jacob answered, "but I doubt Neptune shares my sentiments." Neptune was indeed picking out the onion and carrots. She'll be busy for a while. "By the way, I don't mean to be rude, but I really can't use chopsticks. Could I have a fork, please?"

"Oh, absolutely. Please excuse me for a moment." Compa stood up and walked into the kitchen before shutting the door.

"She has massive boobies," Neptune remarked out loud.

"Neptune! Keep that to yourself, please. You shouldn't say stuff like that about other people behind their backs, anyway," Jacob chided.

Neptune nodded enthusiastically. "Okey-dokey!" Compa walked back into the room with a fork and handed it to Jacob. "Hey Compa, you have massive boobies."

"Eh!" vocalised Compa while Jacob hit his forehead with his palm with enough force to make his forehead sting. As he dragged his hand down his face over his eyes, he looked over at Neptune. She looked back, her expression indicating that she had as much guilt as an ant would have for taking your sugar.

"What?" she remarked. "You said I shouldn't talk like that behind the backs of other people."

Jacob held his face in his hands. "Dear god, why…"

* * *

><p><strong>I'm concerned about the descriptions I use for things in this story. Are they vivid or tedious? Does anyone actually care?<strong>


	3. The First Dungeon

**Hey guys! Sorry for being away for so long; first, I had school exams about two months ago. Then I had to motivate myself to write this. As you can tell by my absence, this was hard to do. I kept finding myself playing fun games like Xenoblade Chronicles (at least, it was fun until I realised the combat was boring as all hell) and Driver: San Francisco. In addition, I hated this chapter because it feels too much like filler and... well, it was boring.**

**On the plus side, thank you for the reviews, ladies and gentlemen. As I do not get 100 reviews just because I sneezed like high profile authors do, I shall respond to them:**

**deus-rasengan2: Hopefully, you're still looking forward to this one.**

**Solcarx: I'll do my best. Thanks.**

**Holy Mercury: Thanks. I don't know any good throat soothers as I rarely get sore throats (when I do, I mostly just ignore them) but make sure not to drink thickshakes or whatever. That soothing sensation is nothing more than the placebo effect. Get actual throat medication.**

**Eisenfaust: I'm afraid I don't speak German. In fact, I can only speak English. I did run your comment through an online translator and, unless I was mistaken, it was a positive comment. Thank you.**

**last-blue mage: Probably should have done this last chapter but your sentiments are welcome and by that I mean "thank you."**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: The first dungeon<strong>

"Jake…" Compa nudged Jacob's shoulder as he was asleep on the couch. Morning had come and it was time to go searching for the boss monster but only Compa was awake. "Wake up," she urged as she nudged him harder.

Jacob began to stir. Slowly, he opened his eyes and saw the blurry silhouette of the apprentice nurse. "Ugh… good morning, Compa…" he greeted as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Good morning, Jake!" Compa responded in high spirits.

Jacob stood from the couch with some difficulty and stretched for a bit. "What time is it…? It feels incredibly early…"

Compa looked at the clock hanging above the door frame that led into the room where Jacob recovered and where now Neptune slept. "It's about nine o'clock. I thought it would be good to get up early and have breakfast before we took on the boss monster…" Suddenly, a look of panic set on Compa's face. "I'm sorry, is nine o'clock too early for you, Jake?" she asked while looking very frantic.

"No no no, it's fine," Jacob assured, "now calm down." After doing a few bicep curls, he sat back down. "Maybe my body clock's off here."

"Body clock?" Compa inquired.

"Yeah, you know; the thing in your body that tells you when to sleep and when to wake up."

This did nothing to eliminate Compa's confusion. "We have clocks in our bodies?"

"No, no, just… look, never mind." Jacob rubbed his forehead. "My body still hurts. Your couch isn't really sleeping material."

"You know, if you slept in the guest room with Neptune, you'd feel much better rested."

Jacob looked at Compa flatly. "The day I sleep in the same bed as a fourteen-year old girl will be the day that I lose all hope in humanity. That's indecent. On that note, how's Neptune?"

"She's not awake yet. I woke you first because she's more energetic than you and she'd wake up more easily. I'll go wake her now. Why don't you go into the kitchen and make some toast?" Compa went into the guest room and shut the door behind her, leaving Jacob to his devices.

Jacob decided to take Compa's advice and went to make himself some breakfast. He went into the kitchen and found the two-slice toaster in the corner of the bench easily enough and he went to the cupboard to find some bread. He found it easily enough, but then a thought went into his head:

_I'm very hungry…_

With that thought came an idea; he looked in the cupboards and, sure enough, found self-raising flour. He went to the fridge and took out an egg and a carton of milk. Checking the cupboards, he soon came across a frying pan and a measuring cup. Jacob smiled.

* * *

><p>Waking Neptune up turned out to be an exercise that was much harder than it would seem. Compa's newfound black eye was proof that nudging the purple-haired girl on the shoulder was not the best idea. Therefore, she would need to find something to rouse Neptune from her snoring slumber without coming into bodily contact with her, but how?<p>

Compa had a flash of inspiration. She went into the basement through the door in the guest room and, after a few minutes, came out with an old bokuto that looked like it would disintegrate upon touching anything if it didn't do so on its own volition… okay, maybe that was exaggerated but it was still probably the most rotten piece of wood on this side of reality. With it, she poked Neptune's cheek and snapped the wooden katana back before Neptune could grab it and crunch it into a fine powder. Neptune stirred a bit, but not enough. Compa poked her again. This time, it worked; Neptune was roused from her slumber.

"Ngh…" groaned Neptune as she woke up, obviously feeling better than Jacob. "Oh! Morning, Compa!"

"Good morning, Nep-nep!" replied Compa with equal cheer. "How are you?"

"Fit as a fiddle!" Neptune jumped off her bed and did a few martial arts moves to prove it. "I can take on the world! No ene- _is that a katana?_ Gimme gimme gimme!"

Compa noticed that Neptune took an interest in her bokuto when the amnesiac snatched the thing out of Compa's hands and began inspecting it. "Oh, yes. Grandpa always kept it around as a bit of a relic," she explained. "Why, do you want it?"

"Mhm!" Neptune nodded enthusiastically.

"Then sure, you can use it."

"Hooray!" Neptune placed one foot on the bed and thrust her sword forward while placing her left hand on her hip. "With this ancient weapon, all enemies shall fear our… what's that smell?"

Compa also noticed the rather enticing aroma seeping into the guest room. "I… don't know. It's coming from the kitch… en…"

Neptune was already speeding out the door before Compa finished.

* * *

><p>"Mornin', Jakey boy!" greeted Neptune as she appeared over the bench of the kitchen.<p>

"Call me that again and something horrible will happen to you. Anyway, how are you?" Jacob asked as he used a spatula to lift from the frying pan-

"PANCAKES!" Neptune shouted eagerly, causing Jacob to wince. "Thanks a whole bunch, Jacob! Hey Compa! Jacob's making pancakes!"

"Really?" said Compa as she appeared beside Neptune with her black eye conveniently gone. "Oh, thank you, Jacob!"

"Not a problem. What happened to your eye?" he asked as he flipped another pancake onto a plate which already had five on it.

"Oh, it's nothing. You don't need to worry about it; it'll go away."

"… Well, okay then. Anyway, they're just about done. Take Neptune and sit down somewhere, please?"

"Absolutely!" Compa walked out to the living room. "Come on, Nep-Nep. Let him cook."

* * *

><p>"Mm!" Neptune rubbed her stomach as she lay on the carpet. "That was good."<p>

"Thanks," Jacob replied after he finished off his glass of milk. "We should probably get going now. Is there anything we need before we go?"

"Not really. I just need my syringe and then we can go," said Compa.

Jacob gave Compa a confused look. "… why would you need a syringe?"

Compa gave Jacob her own confused expression. "It's… my weapon? Most nurses use syringes to fight. I've got mine in the corner over there." She pointed to a giant syringe in the corner of the room.

"… It has star markings in its fluid."

"Don't worry about that, Jake." Compa stood up and Jacob and Neptune followed suit. "Now, do you have a weapon?"

"No."

Compa looked confused. "Why not? Don't you have monsters where you come from?"

"We have morally bankrupt humans but we don't have monsters like giant dragons or orcs," Jacob responded. "We don't need weapons; our soldiers, which are actually competent to the degree of being bloody nightmares, do the fighting for us."

"Wow. That sounds extremely boring," Neptune said. "What do you do for fun?"

"Play video games and not die."

"But what if you want to fight things?"

"Like I said, play video games."

"… okay then."

"Anyway," said Compa, "there's nothing we can do about that. I'm afraid you'll have to go in bare-handed. Now, if we have nothing else to do, let's get moving."

"Yahoo!" Neptune pumped her fist into the air. "I've had enough of this pointless filler! Let's go actually do something!"

* * *

><p>"Is this the dungeon you found searching DungleMaps?" asked Neptune as she ran with her bokuto inside what seemed to be an old factory with the lovable brown tint of everything. Plenty of large generators were spaced apart along the walls closed in by mesh fencing. Large pipes were also sticking out of the walls and crates were stacked in inconspicuous areas. This sort of area will now be known as Factory #1. "Yeah, it feels like a dungeon with lots of tough monsters!"<p>

"No, no strong monsters here," answered Compa. "I searched for 'dungeons with weak monsters'. We're not ready for the strong ones yet." Compa's answer prompted Neptune to look at Compa with an expression. Naming what that expression is would be a chore in itself but if Jacob had to guess, it was either disbelief, betrayal, horror or something else.

"Suck it up, princess," was Jacob's comment, as usual.

"But _Jacob_," Neptune started, which was also Jacob's cue to roll his eyes in exasperation, "this dungeon only has weaklings in it!"

"Nep-Nep, we're only beginners! Level one!" Compa attempted to reason with Neptune but she was having none of it if her crossed arms were of any indication. "We're not strong enough to take on stronger monsters!"

"Well then," Neptune began again, "since this is a weak dungeon, I'll just wait here where there are no monsters and you two can come get me when you find the boss." She walked over to a corner and sat down cross-legged away from Jacob and Compa.

Before Jacob had a chance to say anything, Compa cut in quite frantically. She wasn't very good at maintaining her composure in conflict (or anything else, for that matter). "Th-That's not fair! We're a party, so we're basically soul mates! Abandoning your party now goes against the rules of this world! You'll get punished by the goddess!"

That last part caught Neptune's attention. "Goddess?" she repeated, starry-eyed. "You mean not only are there monsters here but a goddess is, too?"

"Yeah, there's Purple Heart, Green Heart, White Heart and Black Heart of Planeptune, Leanbox, Lowee and Lastation respectively," Jacob answered.

"That's right," Compa continued. "Each planet is protected by a goddess and people-"

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa _whoa_," Jacob interrupted. "'Planet'? What happened to 'landmass'?"

Compa's eyes widened for an instant as she realised her mistake. "Oh! Sorry, I got mixed up. Anyway," Compa turned back to Neptune, who was looking at her nails, "people go to the Basilicom to worship them and help govern each land." She suddenly looked solemn. "We have no idea where the monsters are coming from. Their power just grows and grows. Everyone thinks it's due to the goddesses' weakening powers. Heated discussions take place every night on the Basilicom's blog."

"Basilicom?" Neptune pondered for a moment. "So… what kinda place is that? Is one nearby? OH! Do they make cookies?"

Jacob sighed. "Neptune-"

"Nep-Nep, enough banter," Compa cut in with surprising authority. Apparently, she was as tired of this as he was. "We should get going before the weak monsters get tired of waiting for us." With that, the party walked down the corridor. Apparently, just hearing about goddesses is enough to break Neptune out of her temper tantrums.

After a few moments of walking, Jacob said "Hey, what's that?" He gestured towards a treasure chest that was lying at the corner of the corridor.

"A treasure chest! Yippee!" Neptune, being Neptune, dashed towards the wooden chest and eagerly opened it. "What is it? A rare item? New armor? Gimme gim-" Neptune was silent as she took the item out of the treasure chest very slowly. "It's… it's…"

"It's what, Neptune? Hurry it up."

"It's glorious… A thousand suns have burned out before this day but this image shall stay in my mind forever…" At this stage, Compa and Jacob were getting kind of worried. Well, Compa was; Jacob was just sort of put-off by Neptune's attitude. So they simply walked over to see what the big deal was. What Jacob saw utterly bewildered him.

"A wooden sword." He looked at Neptune with a completely straight face, hiding his are-you-kidding-me expression. "You got this excited over a wooden sword."

"It's a wooden sword in _good condition_," Neptune insisted, holding the stick up like it was the Kusanagi no Tsurugi. "It's much better than the one I already have! And you know what they say about wooden katanas: "they're even better"!"

"Right, whatever," Jacob said, wishing to get all this nonsense over and done with. "Can I at least have your old sword?"

"NO!" Neptune shouted quite defensively as she held the old rotting sword close to her body and glared at Jacob as hard as she could without having her eyeballs explode.

"Why not?" asked a confused Jacob. "It's old and you have a replacement."

"So I can duel wield it, of course!" Neptune took the old bokuto into her left hand and the new bokuto into her right and began making a series of elaborate dual-wielding techniques. This ended when she sliced horizontally outwards with both swords and hit the treasure chest's open lid with the old bokuto, breaking the old rotting thing in two.

"… Oops." Neptune rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

"Let's get moving," Jacob said quickly.

The party advanced down the corridor. Everyone was kind of quiet, only really thinking about whatever they were thinking about. There weren't any other treasure chests to be seen and there weren't any monsters in si-

"HOLY CRAP!" shouted Jacob as two… things appeared in front of the party from above. To call them monsters would be kind of misleading; one of them was a green Space Invader with yellow antennae and the other was a blue gel with a dog's snout.

"A Pixelvader and a Dogoo!" said Compa as she readied her needle, holding it at her hip like a rifle.

"Alright, let's take 'em out!" Neptune hyped herself up as she held her wooden sword.

Jacob didn't say anything as he got into a fighting stance; right foot behind his left and two raised fists. The battle was going to start.

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, neither side had made a move. The enemies were just… standing there. Neptune was still in her battle stance and Compa still had her needle ready, although she kept rocking her hips side to side. Jacob, on the other hand, was stretching.<p>

"What's taking so long for them to do anything?" Jacob asked Compa.

"It's not their turn," replied Compa. "Neptune has the highest Speed stat so she goes first. I do wonder what she's thinking, though, because it shouldn't take this long to select an action."

Jacob was dumbstruck. "You actually practise turn-based combat?"

"Yes," Compa affirmed. "It's a tradition of Gamindustri that all combatants must take turns attacking. I'm not sure how it started but it's been that way ever since."

"… That is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard." Jacob suddenly had a thought. He looked over at the monsters, which were just standing still. "So the monsters won't attack until Neptune attacks?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Then I can do this." Jacob calmly walked over to the inattentive Dogoo, raised his foot very high behind him and then brought it down to give the slime a very hard kick to send it flying backwards.

That was the intention. What actually happened was that Jacob slowed down at the last second and lightly tapped the Dogoo. Neptune, Compa and even the Pixelvader looked at him oddly (as the Pixelvader's expression never changed, Jacob made an educated guess).

"Jacob, what are you doing?" asked Neptune.

"I'm trying to kick this thing while you're doing nothing." Jacob tried again but this time he missed on purpose.

"But this is turn-based combat!"

"Which is stupid and arbitrary tripe!" Jacob tried again but he didn't even bother kicking; he just brought his foot down to the ground.

"… Jake, are you okay?" asked Compa. "I know you're committed to this so why can't you kick the Dogoo?"

Jacob was silent. During his silence, he tried to kick the Dogoo again but only ended with another gentle tap. The Dogoo seemed to look at him with pity, so it fell backwards. This only made him feel worse. Finally, he looked at his two friends. "I have an aversion to hitting things."

Neptune was puzzled. "Why? Are you afraid the Dogoo will eat your shoe or something? Don't worry, they're not-"

"Because I could hurt whatever I'm hitting."

"… That's kind of the point of hitting things."

"But I'm a pacifist."

Compa looked surprised. "You're against violence?"

"Killing, actually. I'm fine with violence but I still have a hard time hitting things."

"Oh, you poor thing," said Compa. "I'd help you but I don't want to be punished by the goddess."

Frustrated at his non-violent nature and the stupidity of the world he was in, Jacob sighed before turning back to the Dogoo and trying again. This time, he actually connected with enough force to send the Dogoo back, if only a few centremetres. Now it looked rather irritated. Jacob could tell it was in fact irritated because it then proceeded to jump on him and attack.

"AH IT'S ON ME GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" Jacob screamed as he grasped the small gel monster and ripped it off of his person before slamming it into the ground around him twice before throwing incapacitated Dogoo away. When it was a few feet away, it burst into data.

Jacob looked back at Compa and Neptune, who seemed bewildered and amazed. "Sorry, I panicked," he answered as he stood up. Before he could walk back to Neptune and Compa, the Pixelvader jumped at him. Before Jacob could shout, a loud bang preceded the Pixelvader bursting into data. Shocked, Jacob looked back at Neptune, who was holding a revolver with a smoking barrel. Compa was also confused but not so much as Jacob to miss the space where the monsters appeared drop five green bottles.

"Where the _hell_ were you keeping _that_?" Jacob asked as he walked up to Neptune as the party proceeded on after Compa gathered up the bottles.

"I 'unno," replied Neptune simply before she placed the gun in her non-existent holster and the gun simply disappeared.

"Well, can I have it? You saw how I went back there."

"You can't have my gun! I need it to dual wield with my sword!"

"Did it ever occur to you that you suck at dual wielding?"

"I do not!" Neptune held her sword in her right hand and her gun in her left. "See that pipe up there?" Jacob looked up and saw two pipes but he guessed that she was talking about the circular one and not the rectangular ventilation shaft. "I'll shoot down a part of it and then bat it to that wall over there with my sword! Ready?"

She didn't wait for an answer as she fired upwards. She hit the ventilation shaft instead which dropped a segment towards Jacob. Neptune tried to jump and hit it with a left swipe but she attacked too soon; instead of hitting the segment, she whacked Jacob square on the cheek, resulting in him releasing an "OW!" as he was sent tumbling to the floor while the segment was left untouched.

"Jake!" Compa called as she ran towards him to inspect his swollen cheek. "Are you okay!"

"What the hell is wrong with you, Neptune…?" he groaned.

"Sorry…" Neptune apologised as she returned her weapons. "But I swear, by the time this journey is over, I will master the art of dual wielding a gun and a sword in either hand!"

"I hope so… this hurts…"

"Don't worry Jake, have some reflex." Compa poured the green liquid of a bottle down Jacob's throat. He nearly spat it out but he restrained himself.

"What is that stuff…?" he asked. "It tastes like mint…"

"That's reflex. It boosts the body's healing abilities. Scientists tried something like this before but it exhausted the body's energy supply, so they just made a healing agent that can be ingested. It's very useful; a lot of nurses use it."

Compa helped Jacob to get back on his feet. Much to his amazement, he could already feel the pain fading. Furthering his amazement was the feeling of his cheek getting smaller. "Whoa, this stuff's awesome," he remarked. "I really should take that stuff home with me. Where'd you get it from?"

"The monsters," Compa answered. "Defeating monsters drops either reflex, detoxin, gelatin and tuffmil, which can be used to synthesise potions."

"… Okay then."

"Hey guys, I found another treasure chest!" called Neptune excitedly from an intersection, beckoning Compa and Jacob to come over. Once they did, they found Neptune holding an item in either hand; some sort of hammer and a bell. To call the former a 'sledgehammer' would be inaccurate because your typical sledgehammer resembled a brick at the end of a stick while the hammer that Neptune held resembled a steel beer keg perpendicular to the stick it was attached to. The bell was your typical ringing bell at the end of a stick.

"What on Earth are those?" Jacob asked.

"I dunno, but you can have this." Neptune tossed the hammer to Jacob, who caught it but collapsed almost immediately due to its immense weight. "Oh, is it too heavy?"

"Yes…" Jacob groaned as he stood up, leaving the hammer on the floor. "Look, I know I'm six feet tall but I'm not exactly strong."

"Aw, bummer." Neptune easily picked up the hammer after she gave the bell to Compa, who inspected it. "Well, what are we going to do with it?"

"You carry it around; it could be useful." Neptune put away the hammer in the same place as here gun and sword (apparently in hyperspace). "Now, I predict that the boss is this way," declared Jacob as he pointed down the corridor that branched off from the one they were in now.

"I get it!" said Neptune. "Smart thinking, Jacob! Let's move!" Neptune took point as the party travelled down the new corridor. After a right turn, they came across a flimsy steel wire fence.

"Okay, we need to get rid of it," Jacob said. "How are we-"

"Outta the way!" Neptune took out her newly acquired hammer and twirled it around like a show-off as she walked over to the fence. "Think you're so tough, do ya?" she taunted the inanimate object as she lifted the hammer over head in preparation to strike it. "I'll break you!" she shouted excitedly as she swung the hammer downwards to the ground, giving those behind her a view of her-

"AAH!" Jacob's shout couldn't be heard over the crashing fence and no one could see that he covered his eyes with his hand. "Neptune!" he called. "Why aren't you wearing shorts?"

Neptune put away her hammer and looked at Jacob, confused by his reaction. "What do you mean, why aren't I wearing shorts? Because I want to."

"It's indecent! When you bend over like that, people can see your underwear! Compa, do you agree?" However, Compa was strangely silent. She kept looking at Neptune with a glazed look and a red fluid was beginning to leak out of her nose. "Compa!" Jacob snapped his fingers to get her attention.

"Huh, what?" Compa snapped back into reality and looked around frantically. "What's wrong? Did an enemy appear?"

"No," said Jacob, "I was just trying to get your attention. You dosed off."

"Oh…" Compa's cheeks turned bright red. "S-sorry… did you need something?"

"No, we just busted down the gate. Let's go. And Neptune, we're still getting you shorts after all this is done."

Neptune pouted. "I want to walk around without shorts."

"That's nice. I want world peace so I guess neither of us will get what we want. Now let's go."

And so the party proceeded (again) through the rather samey factory until they came across a large room that was, for all intents and purposes, a square version of one of the corridors. What caught the party's eye, however, was the glowing purple circle on the floor at the end of the room.

Compa walked over and stood on it. "I've never seen anything like this," she began. "In all of the books I've read, none of them have ever mentioned a glowing circle; they just said that a monster stood in one place waiting for the adventurers to touch them."

"What kind of books do you read?" asked Jacob.

"Oh, you know, fantasy manga, slice-of-life manga, romance manga, cooking books, the usual."

"And where did you read about a monster just politely waiting for the adventurers?"

"It was in the manga edition of the first GG game. Light Wizard, Dark Wizard, Soldier and Bandit were going into this dungeon, right, and the monster was waiting for them three floors below, not doing anything." Compa seemed to get excited as she talked. You know how it is; you find the perfect opportunity to gush about something you like to someone and you take it. "It was awesome! In the middle of battle, Light Wizard and Soldier confessed-"

"Compa," interrupted Jacob, "as interested as I am in this manga of yours, we're kind of in a hurry here and I fail to see how this is relevant at all to the magic circle."

"Hey Compa!" said Neptune. "Try ringing your bell! It'll call the monster!"

Both Compa and Jacob looked at Neptune oddly. "What makes you think that?" asked Jacob.

"Histy told me! She said that those magic circles respond to the Descent Bell to call a powerful monster! You see, she's been giving me a tutorial throughout this entire dungeon, like how to bash down that gate and how to open treasure chests."

"That's very helpful, Nep-Nep!" cheered Compa, although Jacob just sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Okay! Come on out, monster!" Compa called as she rang the bell. The circle on the floor faded and none of them were prepared for what dropped from the ceiling.

It was a spider; a big brown one. It had three crab legs on either side of the middle part of its body and two smaller and thinner ones with clawed feet on either side of what would be its head with black fangs the size of Neptune's torso making up most of its 'face'. To make matters worse, it had a strangely humanoid upper body attached to the spider body at its waist with two clawed arms, its right one carrying a massive golden sword resembling a key with some sort of golden statue… thing acting as a pommel. Its head resembled a rhino, only with a massive horn with a diamond-shaped tip. Overall, it was huge and the entire party was panicking.

"GUARD VERMIN!" shouted Compa just as the huge thing brought back its massive sword to swing overhead at her. Thankfully, she was quick enough to get out of the way in time, causing the sword to embed itself into the ground. This allowed the group to retreat, regroup and rethink.

"It's not going by turn-based combat rules! What are we going to do?" asked Compa.

"Well, my first idea was to have Neptune trip it up with her bullets and then attack its weak spot but it has too many legs for that. Neptune, any bright ideas?" Jacob looked over to Neptune, who seemed to be in some sort of trance of thought. "Neptune?" Jacob asked again.

"Shush," she said quickly, causing Jacob to shut up. Whatever Neptune was thinking about, Jacob hoped that she'd finish soon; the Guard Vermin got its sword out of the ground and jumped towards the ground with surprising agility and ease.

"What the HELL!" Jacob ran to one side with Neptune as Compa went the other way as the boss swung its sword again, although this time it impacted the ground more lightly, evidenced by how much more easily it got its sword out again. It looked towards Compa who fired upon it with her bullet-shooting syringe (which surprised Jacob) but it shrugged off the shots quite easily.

"Compa!" Neptune shouted as she rushed forward. "I'm gonna get you for this, you meanie!" She leapt into the air and… something sort of unexpected happened.

From Neptune's body, green streams of data emerged and surrounded Neptune. In a single moment, the data was gone but Neptune was different. She was taller, her hair was longer and kept in two braids at the back of her head and her pupil-less eyes had bright blue irises. Her D-pad hairclips were replaced with small black domes with purple X's on them. She wore a form-fitting black bodysuit covering her entire body (with the exception of the top of her more developed bust and the upper half of her thighs, most likely for fanservice) with bits of purple and grey here and there. She also had strange circular sci-fi butterfly wings that seemed to be detached from her back. To top it all off, in her right hand was a long black katana with an elaborate diamond-shaped tsuba and a purple edge.

Jacob recognised her as Purple Heart.

The monster was quick to swipe at her but the size and weight of its sword meant that it had no chance in hell of hitting its small and nimble target. Purple Heart easily dodged the attack and slashed her sword when she was level with the humanoid torso. The Guard Vermin burst into data after a moment and dropped a purple… something onto the ground. Purple Heart floated to the ground, walked over to it and picked it up.

"Well, that was… anti-climactic," stated Jacob. Compa didn't say anything; she simply looked at Purple Heart with a shocked expression that persisted after she returned to being Neptune. Neptune looked quite sheepish. It was a weirdly quiet moment.

Then Neptune looked as if someone just tapped her shoulder from behind. "Histy! Thanks for that awesome tutorial. What's up?"

Compa, who was looking rather calm moments ago, was now confused. "Histy? Nep-nep, who are you talking to? Nobody is here except for you, me and Jacob."

"Histoire can communicate with Neptune telepathically," Jacob elaborated.

"Oh."

Neptune also appeared to be confused. "You can't hear her? Histy, can you talk to Compa and Jacob, too?" A few moments passed and then Neptune looked back at her friends. "Sorry guys, I'll just tell you what she says later. Anyway Histy, I found something weird and shiny just now… Seal? Where you at, anyway?" After a few more moments, Neptune suddenly looked pumped. "Four Key Fragments? If I do this fetch quest, I can save you, right? So where are they?"

"Do you have any idea what they're talking about?" Compa asked Jacob.

"Yeah, Histoire's trapped somewhere and she needs Neptune to help her out and I'm assuming that these Key Fragments are needed to get her free."

"Oh, okay."

"So," began Neptune again, "I get that I hafta save you, but should I really do all this for someone I don't even know? … Hmm, it's tough for me to say no, but finding all these thingies sounds like a real bore-chore."

"Neptune!" Jacob shouted. "Are you seriously considering abandoning someone in need just because it's boring to help them out?"

Neptune didn't seem that concerned, however. "Yeah? I mean, Histy's one person. Can't I save the world instead? Wait…" Neptune was listening to someone else. Jacob tapped his foot. "Huh? Really?" said Neptune, looking more excited. "Oh, well, okay then! Don't stop there! Pump me up some more!"

"Neptune," Jacob cut in again. "What. Did she. Just say?"

"I get the impression this wouldn't be so boring if we could actually hear what Histoire was saying," Compa commented.

"Sorry Compa, she says she can only talk to me. Anyway, she said that she's basically the world's everything or something, so saving her is the same as saving the world!"

"Really? Well, that sounds like good incentive to go out and do what she wants us to do. Let's go." Just then, Neptune's stomach rumbled. "Fine, let's get something to eat."

"Yay!" cheered Neptune before they walked towards the entrance of the dungeon.

* * *

><p><strong>So, yeah. I get the impression that this was a badly written chapter. Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome. As are comments in general.<strong>

**One thing that bugs me about this god damn site is that I can't type in something like "AH-ITS-ON-ME-GET-IT-OFF-GET-IT-OFF-GET-IT-OFF!" (please eliminate the hyphens) without the website just eliminating it. I presume this is what happened to Neptune's falling scream all the way in the first chapter.**


	4. New Friends and the Mission

**And so we have the next chapter and IF is introduced so we now have the Three Girl band with that one tag-along guy who is, for all intents and purposes, useless in an action sequence and whose only purpose of existence is to make snarky commentary. Anyway, review response time.**

**Holy Mercury: Thank you. Did you get the throat medication yet? Also, try not to raise your voice; it only aggravates your condition.**

**Eisenfaust: Again, I don't speak German. I tried running it through the unreliable translator again and it's not easy to make sense of most of it. However rest assured that the rest of the cast will be encountered. Also, 5pb will probably make an appearance. I'm not sure about Red as she doesn't appear in the sequel.**

**DMAsh: Thank you for that notification. However, I won't use !-? as it riles up the Grammar Nazi in me. The last time I tried that, I ended up with feathers in my teeth and another missing house pet. Also... I think I know what to do about Jacob's weapons. Stay tuned. Also, your name screws with the system so I'm afraid I'll have to make modifications. Sorry.**

**MegaRaziel: I prefer the term "brutally honest". Also, thanks for mentioning that but I should also mention that Jacob is not an OC but rather a self-insert. As he is still likeable despite this, it seems that I am doing a good job. In any event, he will not have no combat ability for the entire fanfic, otherwise that would be incredibly boring. Don't mind the bad English; I can understand at least some of it. Thank you and stay tuned.**

**And here is the new chapter. Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4: New Friends and the Mission<strong>

The adventuring party (Neptune wanted to call it the Super Dimension Game Party and, with Compa's help, it became the official name but Jacob adamantly stuck to adventuring party anyway) walked to the city from the dungeon. Actually, to be more accurate, they walked from the dungeon to the cable car station, which they were now riding down to get to the city. Also, they ate some sandwiches that Compa prepared beforehand.

"Hey, Compa? You said that the military's having problems with monsters, right?" asked Jacob.

Compa nodded. "That's correct."

"Okay, so… why do we still have these cable cars going back and forth between Planeptune and the dungeons?"

"… I don't understand."

Jacob sighed. "Compa, the military is having troubles with monsters. We don't want the monsters on Planeptune but we still have these cable cars connecting Planeptune to the dungeons. Wouldn't it make much more sense to get rid of the cable cars so that the monsters can't use them to get to the landmass?"

Compa raised a finger and began to talk in an as-you-should-know fashion. "Well…" Then she stopped for a moment. "… that is actually a good idea."

"Furthermore," continued Jacob, "if the dungeons hold so many monsters but none of them have ranged defences, why not just bomb the dungeons from the air?"

Compa nodded as she followed what Jacob was saying. "That makes a lot of sense!"

"I knew it would." Jacob went back to eating his sandwich. "God, this thing is slow…" he said to himself.

Compa prodded Neptune on the shoulder. "Hey, Nep-Nep?" began Compa. "What happened to you back against the Guard Vermin?"

"Ah! Well, you remember when I had you all wait when that boss was attacking? Histoire was talking to me and she told me about the Hard Drive Divinity, or HDD, and it gives me great power!"

"And speed and flight," Jacob interrupted. "Don't forget that."

"Oh yeah, and great breasts too." Neptune didn't see Jacob headbutt the window. Such a manoeuvre would be called a "headwindow" but finding similar words to "headdesk" is a bit of a well-milked joke so it shall not be used.

"She transforms into her alter ego, Purple Heart," elaborated Jacob. "Have y-"

"W-w-what? Purple Heart?" Compa was absolutely flabbergasted. "Are you serious? That was _Purple Heart_?"

"Oh, is that what it's called?" asked Neptune.

"… yes? What about it?" responded Jacob.

"Purple Heart is the goddess of Planeptune! Green Heart, Black Heart and White Heart are the goddesses of Leanbox, Lastation and Lowee respectively! That means that Nep-Nep is a goddess! Did you know that?"

"What? Really?" asked an incredulous Neptune. "_I'm_ a goddess? That's awesome! Jake, how long have you known?"

"Before I even got here."

"What? How?" asked Compa. "You were a foreigner who didn't even know that the landmasses floated!"

"Oh yeah…" Jacob thought for a moment. "I actually come from-"

"A secret network of spies!" interrupted Neptune as her hand intercepted Jacob's mouth with the speed of a flyswatter. "You see, Jacob is actually an intel-handler for this secret network of spies that operates deep within Gamindustri, answering to no one except their mysterious leader, and by mysterious leader I mean me! Only a few people even know they exist!"

"Wow!" Compa was amazed and, as always, highly gullible. "Is that true, Jake?"

"Actually, no I'm not. I'm really-"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry Compa," Neptune began to whisper in a really "dramatic" way, "but it's a really big secret. Jacob has to keep it from all of society, lest he betray the entire brotherhood and perish for his crimes."

Compa's eyes were filled with stars again. "That's amazing! Don't worry, Jake!" She put on a determined expression. "I will keep your secret if it costs me my life!"

"Neptune? Over here, please." Jacob made a gesture for Neptune to sit next to him, to which she obliged. "Compa, we're about to have a private discussion so if you could focus your attention elsewhere, that'd be great, thanks."

"Okay then." Compa looked out the window and began singing softly to herself. "Kono sekai ni umareta sono imi wa…"

"What the hell was that?" Jacob whispered harshly to Neptune.

"Well, I couldn't tell her that this entire place is all a video game, could I? It could put her through an existential crisis and you know how easily she cries! I mean, how would you react if you realised that your entire world was nothing but a video game?"

"I'd probably shrug it off and keep doing what I do."

Neptune was confused. "Really? You wouldn't, I dunno, go on a killing spree and murder bunnies?"

"Neptune," Jacob began, "I've thought to myself on more than one occasion, "What is the meaning of life?" Well, everyone's thought about that once or twice but there are only three of us in this gondola and I'm pretty sure you and Compa aren't thinking about it right now. Anyway, the thing is, I've stopped caring what my meaning is. I wake up in the morning, eat my three meals, play video games, talk with my friends, go on walks, listen to music and then go to sleep at night to do the same thing over again the next day. Real life or video game, it wouldn't be different at all."

Neptune blinked. "What does reality have to do with the meaning of life?"

"I dunno; I forgot where I was going. The point is, I'm here, this is my reality as well as everyone else's so I might as well live as if I'm real."

Neptune nodded subtly as Jacob spoke. "So… you _are_ a video game character and you're aware of it but you're going to live a happy life anyway even if all you'll do is game over at the end of it?"

"That is about as close as you'll ever get to my meaning so I'm just going to say yes to that."

Neptune thought for another moment. "Okay. Maybe I'll live like that as well. Still, it's surprising that you're a video game character as well."

Jacob sighed. "I'm not a video game character."

"But didn't you just say you were?"

"It was… ugh." Jacob rubbed his forehead. "You know what, I don't care anymore."

"You just said you never did."

Jacob sharply inhaled through his nose in aggravation. "Compa," he spoke in a normal voice, "we're done."

"Oh," said Compa as she stopped singing. "Did you have a nice talk?"

"More or less."

"Okay then. Now, since we have had experience in dungeons now, we can go to other dungeons, kill monsters and save people! In fact, I know one that had a problem with a Sand Worm. Let's go there."

"But Compa," began Neptune, "we already gathered the fragment from Planeptune. Let's not waste any time and mosey to the next landmass!"

Compa didn't agree with Neptune. "No need to rush. This place is still threatened by monsters. We can't just leave the townspeople like this."

"Well… fine…" Neptune begrudgingly agreed. "Let's go clobber some monsters."

Jacob looked at Neptune… well, he seemed like he wanted to say something but he couldn't bring himself to do it. In a way, he seemed like a child on a stage during a play and he had to say a very embarrassing line. Thankfully, Compa noticed. "Is there something wrong, Jake?"

"Hm?" Jacob's head turned towards Compa. "Oh, no- actually, yeah but it's something I'd much rather discuss with Neptune in private."

"Do you want me to sing to myself again?"

"No, I'll just wait until later."

"Aw, don't worry, Jacob!" Neptune patted Jacob on the shoulder which made him shuffle away out of reflex. "… Anyway, you can tell Compa as well! We're a party now, so we support each other!"

Jacob covered his face with his hand as he thought this over. "Okay," he finally said after several seconds of silence. "I… want to go home."

"… Why couldn't you tell me that?" Compa asked a very sensible question.

"Because only Neptune knows where I came from."

"Then why don't you tell me?"

"… you know what? That's-"

Neptune pulled Jacob's head down to hers and whispered into his ear while covering it and her mouth with her hand. "Jacob! I know you have a strong heart but I don't know if Compa can take it! Just stick with my story and everything will be okay!"

"Are you sure you're not keeping my home a secret because you want it to be revealed in an epic plot twist to improve the story?" he asked, also whispering.

Neptune didn't respond right away; she just sat back normally while crossing her arms and pouting. "You kind of ruined the whole goddess thing."

"It wouldn't be ruined if the proof wasn't on the _flipping box art_."

"Um…" Both Jacob and Neptune looked back at Compa. "Should I be hearing this?"

"Oh, sorry," said Jacob. "Yeah, I don't think I should be telling you about where I come from."

"You know, confidentiality and all that," chipped in Neptune.

"In any event, I do want to go home. I mean, you saw how well I went in the _tutorial_ dungeon. I don't have a weapon, I have no martial arts skills, I've seen people five years my junior with more athletic ability than me and I'm a _pacifist_ in a world that I'm surprised doesn't have monster killing as a national sport. I don't think I'll do too well here; I think I'd be better off where I came from."

Everyone was silent for several moments. It was clear to Neptune and Compa- okay, maybe just Compa- that Jacob wasn't suited for a violent environment and that he would be much better off back at his less-hostile home. "Okay," said Compa to break the silence. "I understand. Do you know how to get home?"

"No, actually. I was hoping that Neptune would, considering we met at my home."

"Uh, heh heh heh…" Neptune rubbed the back of her head sheepishly while a giant bead of sweat clung to the front of her head as required by Anime Cliché #14. "I don't remember, sorry. Amnesiac." After seeing Jacob's dejected expression, she quickly waved her hands in front of her as required by Anime Cliché #16. "B-but don't worry! I'm sure that if we continue going through dungeons, we'll find a way to get you home! Don't worry; I don't mind my amnesia taking a back seat to your quest! Can't say the same thing about the fans but we'll be supportive of you every step of the way!"

Jacob looked at Neptune appreciatively. "Well… thanks, Neptune," he said with a smile.

"Anyway," she continued, "everyone knows that the answer to your personal struggles lies on the path of the main story. Therefore, let's go to the next dungeon and get the story underway!"

"Shouldn't we rest first? After-"

"Oh no!" Neptune cut him off very quickly. "Last time we rested before heading off to a dungeon, we wasted too much time. I don't want to waste any more . Also, we didn't even take a single hit point of damage in that tutorial dungeon and my Hard Drive Divinity should make short work of our enemies. We don't need to rest."

"I suppose that's fair enough. Let's go, then."

* * *

><p>The next dungeon was a dark cave with bright purple crystals everywhere. Jacob referred to this type of dungeon as Cave #1. Already, he was bored.<p>

"Bad guys hole up in caves, but I wonder if it's kinda like where they do the thing and make babies." Thank God for Neptune. "Sorry to intrude…"

"Okay, from now on, you are no longer allowed to speak unless it is important. Understand?" Jacob turned around and looked at Neptune so that he would come across as the "senior" so that she would be intimidated. Judging by Neptune's nonchalant expression, he guessed that she cared about his authority as much as he cared about hers.

"Compa, Jacob, it's dark so watch your step."

As Neptune was telling instructions to the progressing group, Jacob heard something from ahead. "Stop," he said to his acquaintances as he extended an arm to stop them from continuing. Thank goodness he did that, otherwise the girl that ran down the corridor would've ran right into Neptune. The girl was around about the age of Neptune and Compa and she had green eyes and long brown hair with a ponytail on the left side of her head tied up with a green bow shaped like two leaves. She wore a long-sleeved blue jacket that was buttoned up the middle (the buttons themselves were dome-shaped and freaking huge) over what appeared to be a black one-piece outfit with the leggings ending about a quarter of the way down her thighs and a belt around her waist with a silver square-shaped buckle. She also wore a black choker that was more of a strap unlike Neptune's tube-esque choker. Around the waist of her unbuttoned jacket, never crossing the opening that exposed her shirt and shorts, was a belt of nine boxes, each a different colour yet were all large enough to hold a closed cell phone. "Hello," Jacob greeted. "Who are you?"

The new girl just raised an eyebrow. "I'm IF," she responded. "I never would've expected that other people actually visit dungeons."

"Really?" continued Jacob. "I think it makes more sense if other people visit dungeons more often, given that even apprentice nurses know how to fight. Anyway, I'm Jacob." He extended a hand to her. "Pleasure to meet you."

She looked at it oddly before she looked at him oddly. "You know, you shouldn't be doing that to just any random person you meet; they could take advantage of you. I mean, being someone's blood brother doesn't mean-"

"It's a handshake," Compa and Jacob said simultaneously, the former cheery and the latter deadpan. "It's a form of greeting," Jacob finished alone.

"… Oh. Well," IF reached out to Jacob's hand and gave it a half-hearted shake, "It's nice to meet you, too."

"So what are you doing here?" asked Neptune. "Do you live in this icky cave?"

"Do I look like a ragged bum to you?" answered IF. "I'm here to eliminate the monsters at the request of the Basilicom. What are _you_ doing here?"

"We're here because people are in danger, so we're here for the same reason. My name is Neptune and this here is Compa." Neptune gestured to the female nurse who walked forward and took a deep breath.

"H-hello," she stammered nervously. "I enjoy arts and craft and I'm good at math. I know I don't look it but it's something I'm quite proud of."

"Then, Compa, you are now in charge of our item inventory and accounting. Anyway, why not help us conquer this dungeon?" Neptune offered IF.

"What?" IF looked up from her red flip mobile phone. "Well, I guess the more help I get, the easier it'll be for me. Fine, we'll team up but know that you're joining me!"

Neptune's eyes filled up with stars; a curious genetic trait of those born from Planeptune and one that really intrigued Jacob. "You'll do it? YAY!" she cheered as she spun around. "Compa, Jacob, Iffy said she'll join our party!"

"I know, Neptune," said Jacob. "We heard; we're right here."

"Whatever," continued IF. "Don't call me Iffy. That's not my name."

"Now we really look like a party!" cheerfully exclaimed Compa. "We'll be together forever. It's a pleasure to have you with us." Compa reached her hand out to IF, who shook it without much enthusiasm before pulling away.

"Yeah, yeah, okay." IF couldn't help but smile at Compa's honest and nice character. What made her stop smiling and made her open her eyes very wide was something else that Compa said. "Wait, what; forever? No, just for now. This dungeon."

"Bzzzt!" Neptune completely ignored IF. "We're already a party, so you can't get away from us, even if you try! Abandoning your party is against the rules of this world! You got that, missy?"

As evidenced by the sweat flying off of her head, IF was completely flustered. "U-Um, no, but… it doesn't matter. Never mind."

"Wait," said Jacob, "doesn't the goddess punish the people who separate from the party?"

IF raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, Neptune is Purple Heart and I don't think she currently has any divine powers involving striking people with lightning should they abandon a party. I mean, she has amnesia." Jacob waited a bit for IF to respond but everyone knows that, whenever a sentence involving someone waiting for someone else to respond is written, the not-responding person is not responding for a reason. "… IF?"

"… I'm sorry," she began with her default expression, "could you repeat that first part again?"

"About Neptune being Purple Heart, Planeptune's goddess?"

"… Are you serious about that? I mean, we've just met and I'm not sure if I should trust you right now."

"Oh, he's serious all right," Neptune answered in Jacob's stead. "Let's clear out the dungeon and I'll prove my power to you!"

"Mhm," went IF with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Let's get moving. I want to finish this up quickly."

And so the party proceeded through Cave #1. At the first three-way turn, Compa turned left and Neptune and Jacob followed suit but IF went right, which didn't go unnoticed by Compa. "Um, Miss IF?" Compa called. "Where are you going? That's a dead end."

"I know but there's a treasure chest in there and I want it," responded IF as she kept walking.

"Really? Well, I'm gonna get it!" declared Neptune as she dashed past. She walked into a small circular room with two levels- the upper outer ring and the lower centre- and looked around feverishly but found no treasure chest; just more purple rocks and glowing pink crystals. "… I don't see a treasure chest."

"That's because it's invisible." IF was followed into the room by Jacob and Compa. "My Bandit Bangle can find invisible treasure chests and lead me to them. However, I've been to quite a few of these dungeons before and I can already guess where it is." She walks over to the left side of the outer ring. She then raises her right arm and a shining white light is emitted, which then arcs into the air…

… and ends on the spot a few centremetres next to her.

"Oh, you've _got _to be kidding me," she groaned.

"What's the matter?" Neptune asked.

"I have to be _exactly _next to the treasure chest for it to appear. Worse, it takes about maybe ten seconds for it to recharge so that I can use the bangle again. I know it sounds brief but it feels like it takes forever. Anyway," IF moved closer to where the arc ended, "here we go again." She then activated the bangle again and, sure enough, a treasure chest came into existence. This one, however, was blue, unlike the brown chests the old party encountered before. "As you can probably guess, the items in these treasure chests are much better than the ones from regular chests. Let's see, what we have here is…" she opened the treasure chest rather normally and pulled out, "… a leather bracelet. Eh, I suppose it's better than what I have now." With that, she took off her watch, put it in her pocket and put on the bracelet. "Let's go," said IF as she ushered the group back out to the main part of the dungeon.

The party of four walked for maybe a minute before a monster suddenly appeared in front of them again. Jacob nearly got a heart attack but he composed himself. By the way, it wasn't the monster _appearing_ that spooked him but rather the _monster_ appearing. What stood before the party was… well, the closest Jacob could come to when comparing the thing to something was a Cyclops gorilla that stood upright and wielded a giant club with one side of the head covered in metal. It had what looked like a tail of purple feathers protruding from the back of its head and its face was covered in a grey metal mask. It wore two red gauntlets with golden claws and it had a red ornament of sorts as maybe torso armour with golden circles embedded in it. It also seemed to wear stereotypical Arabic shoes except the points were flatter.

"… oh dear God," muttered Jacob as Neptune and Compa got into a fighting stance. Again, they were in combat. What Jacob noted, however, was that IF seemed to hang behind Neptune looking rather indifferent.

"Decisions, decisions," said Neptune to herself as she was thinking.

Jacob walked up to IF. "What are you doing?"

IF looked at him as if he had grown another head. "Jacob, what are _you_ doing? You're supposed to be fighting!"

"News flash, dearest," Jacob noted that such a term made IF's eye twitch but, of course, he ignored it, "I don't have a weapon."

"Then use your martial arts."

"Which I don't have."

"… you seriously came here without any way to defend yourself?"

"In hindsight, I realise that that was a very stupid decision and I will not do it again. However, my question remains unanswered; what are you doing back here?"

"Well," started IF, "you can only have three people fighting on the front lines but you can have up to three people hang in the back and switch out with the person they're assigned to when the need arises. It's only been around for, say, _ages_. How do you not know this?"

Jacob facepalmed. "Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this RPG combat system is arbitrary bull at best."

"No, you're not," IF sighed. "I think it's very stupid as well. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about it because the goddess will punish me."

"Neptune's a goddess and trust me when I say she has no ability to punish you."

"Unfortunately, I don't trust you because you could be trying to get me killed."

"Why would I try to get you killed?"

"I don't know but I'd much rather be careful. After all, I just met you."

Jacob rubbed his forehead with his fingers. "Okay," he said, clapping his hands together as he walked towards Neptune and Compa. "Girls, could I talk with you for a bit? IF, you too?"

"Oh, sure," replied Compa. "What is it?"

"Well, I have a plan for taking care of this thing. Neptune, could you hand me your gun, please?"

Neptune held her revolver close to her chest. "But Jacob! This…" To Jacob's surprise, Neptune's expression softened a bit and she remained quiet for a moment or two to think to herself. "… Here you go, Jacob." She placed the gun in his open right hand. "Use it well."

"… Thank you, Neptune," Jacob said, thrown off by Neptune's sudden charitable nature. He held the gun in his hand, weighing it. "Anyway, my plan is this; myself and Compa will shoot the toes of that… thing-"

"A Jaki."

"Thank you, Compa. Anyway, we will shoot the Jaki's toes which will cause it to fall down and remain defenceless, then Neptune and IF will charge in and kill the thing. Any objections?"

"Um," began Compa, "you told me you were a pacifist. Are you okay with this?"

"Well… in the tutorial dungeon, I noticed that the monsters burst into data when they were killed. While I have a problem with killing intelligent living creatures, I'm perfectly okay with killing artificial constructs that can just be rebuilt later."

"Wait; the monsters are fake?" asked Compa.

"I thought so too," said IF. "I've killed a few monsters before but none of them turned into data when killed like the most recent monsters. Anyway, I have a problem with your plan; we have to take turns while fighting."

"Neptune," Jacob turned towards the purple-haired girl, "as Purple Heart, our goddess, will you punish us if we break the rules of turn-based combat and break the party member limitations so that all four of us may fight at the same time?"

Neptune put her hand to her chin and closed her eyes in thought. "Hm… that's a tough one. While it would be quicker to kill the Jaki by attacking all at once, it breaks a lot of traditions. Sadly, I cannot heed your request as-"

"I will buy you dinner," interjected Jacob quickly.

"Sorry, did I say that I couldn't let you do that? Of course, I meant I COULD let you do that and by "could", I mean "will"! Let's put the plan into action!"

"Now _look here_," IF spoke to Neptune with a more forceful tone, which was a rather good indicator how she felt about all this. "You may be convinced that you're a goddess but I'm not falling for it. If you want to convince me that you are indeed Purple Heart, you're going to need proof. Understand?"

Neptune blinked. "You want me to prove that I'm a goddess?"

"I won't believe that you are until you do."

A wide grin made its way to Neptune's face. "If you say so!" She then began to glow in a purple light. "Planeptune Power! Make up!" And then the transformation took place.

When IF opened her eyes after the blinding light faded away, someone else stood where Neptune stood… no, it _was_ Neptune, just transformed. Now she was taller, more mature, more powerful and, to IF's chagrin, more buxom. She was hoping she wouldn't be the only flat one of the group for once. "… what… Are you… Purple Heart?" IF could barely get the words out due to the shock.

"If what Jacob says is true-"

"Which it is," Jacob said.

"- then I am indeed Purple Heart, the goddess of Planeptune. Do you still have your doubts?" Purple Heart asked calmly in stark contrast to her untransformed self.

"Uh, um… yes- no. Yes." IF rubbed her forehead. "Sorry, this is… a lot for me to take in."

"Take all the time in the world. In the meantime, let's get the plan underway. I'll take the first shot." Jacob held the revolver with both hands and aimed the barrel at the Jaki's foot.

"Do you have the fire bullet loaded?" asked Compa.

Jacob looked back at her. "I'm sorry; the what?"

"The fire bullet. The one that we got after killing the Dogoo and the Pixelvader."

"… you never told me that we got something like that."

Compa looked at the ground, slightly embarrassed. "I'm sorry; I got distracted by Nep-Nep hitting you and me treating your wounds." IF raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, just open the cylinder and rotate it to the fire bullet and then close it again."

Jacob followed the instructions. It took him a while to open the cylinder but he managed to figure out the mechanism. "Okay, now do I shoot?" At Compa's nod, Jacob raised the gun to aim down the iron sights at the Jaki's toes. "Ready, Compa?"

"Absolutely." Compa had her syringe aimed at the same area (at least, Jacob hoped so; it was hard to tell where Compa was aiming when she held the syringe at her hips).

"Okay. Fire when I do."

It went well enough; the Jaki roared in pain as Compa's fire bullet bullets impacted the middle of the Jaki's foot and it fell down on its face as exerting pressure on the injured foot caused it pain. Jacob's shot missed by a bit but at least it worked. Anyway, Purple Heart was quick to fly over to the behemoth and stab it right through the back with absolutely no blood or gore occurring. When that didn't perform a one hit kill, she stabbed it again.

And again.

And again.

"Why isn't it dying in one hit?" she asked out loud as she stabbed the Jaki again. "The Guard Vermin perished with a single swipe of my sword, so… wait." Purple Heart then attempted a horizontal swipe. It was just as effective as the stabs. "Never mind. Why is this so much tougher than the Guard Vermin?"

"Nep-Nep!" Compa shouted. "You activated your powers for the first time against the Guard Vermin and so your new form needed to be shown off to show how powerful you are! It won't work again!"

"… well, that's disappointing." Purple Heart resumed stabbing the Jaki.

Jacob turned to IF. "What are you waiting for? Get in there."

IF was silent and still. It was clear that she wanted to help but she was fearful of something. Jacob sighed and walked in front of her. "IF," he began, "I know it's not easy to believe that Neptune's a goddess and that a goddess is walking right in front of you. Trust me; if I was in your position, I'd do the exact same thing. However…" Jacob tried to think. "Neptune can't kill that thing fast enough and Compa and I can't shoot because, frankly, we're not good enough to shoot without the risk of hitting her." Jacob suddenly got an idea. "You saw us defy the battle mechanics of this world and we're not dead yet. Surely you can do the same?"

IF remained quiet for a bit. "…"

Jacob sighed. "Please? Don't you _want_ to do it?"

"… okay." IF looked up at Jacob. "I'll do it." She extended the knife blades out from her sleeves, miraculously not getting caught in them, and charged at the Jaki. With several more stabs, the Jaki finally burst into data.

Neptune found herself back in her normal form. "Yippee! That's one more monster dead!"

IF looked at her hands after she withdrew her daggers. Jacob walked up to her. "You okay?" he asked.

"I did it," she muttered. "I knew the rules of this world and I've been taught not to defy them, stupid as they are. Yet, I still went and killed the Jaki in a way that goes against everything I've been taught."

"And? How do you feel?"

IF flexed her fingers. "Weird, but…" A smile crossed her face. "Somewhat… liberated."

Jacob smiled. "That a girl. Come on, let's move."

The party moved onwards through more twists and turns and copy-pasted environments until they finally reached the Sand Worm which stood in front of another circular room. To Jacob's surprise, it didn't look very threatening at all; it had the body of a seal but its tail had some sort of big orb-like choker separating it from its tip which seemed to have four tendril-esque points that moved independently. Its head seemed to be the only feature that came across as somewhat threatening, as it had a big open circle for a mouth with eight triangular teeth (how does it chew its food without the ability to open or close its mouth?) and it had twelve large reddish bumps circling its head. What really undermined the scare factor of the Sand Worm was that it wasn't that much taller than Neptune.

The fact that it didn't move from its position even when the party was in plain sight didn't help either.

"Okay," began IF, "as this is a boss monster, we should be extra careful when fighting it. Of course, the usual tactics of attack relentlessly and heal when necessary aren't really going to change much; the only thing separating this thing from other monsters are its slightly higher stats." IF sighed. "Why are our monsters so boring? Anyway, we just need to approach it, interact with it and kill it."

"I have a better idea," said Jacob. "Why don't we just shoot it from here? As monsters here follow the rules of combat here, we can just pick away at it until it finally falls over because it won't do anything to counter."

Compa was hesitant. "That's a good idea Jacob but remember in the tutorial dungeon how that Dogoo attacked you when you broke the rules? And the Guard Vermin who just attacked us outright?"

"Wait a moment." IF held up her hands in a 'back it up' motion. "You actually encountered a Guard Vermin?"

"… yeah?" responded Jacob. "What's wrong with that; are they rare or something?"

"Very rare. Even I've never encountered one and I get around a lot."

"Hey, Iffy? If you're such a traveller, then why are you basically the same level as us?" Neptune asked.

Of course, she shouldn't have. IF's button was pressed and she was riled. "For your information-"

Before the fight could escalate, Jacob stepped in. "Hey, hey, hey, we've kind of got a monster to deal with here. Can we save the inter-party fights until afterwards?"

IF exhaled. "Fine. Let's kick that worm's ass." She protruded the knives from her sleeves and held them parallel to the ground while she had one leg in front of the other. To Jacob, she looked more like she was doing a snake impression with her arms while trying to tango with someone.

"Alright, so how are we going to do this; are we going to shoot it until it dies or are we actually going to-"

Jacob's inquiry was cut short by the sound of two gunshots coming from IF. The Sand Worm flinched but it didn't retaliate. "Even if this'll provoke the thing, at least we'll do damage to it before the fight starts," reasoned IF before shooting again.

"Fair enough." Jacob got out his revolver and also shot at the Sand Worm along with Compa. Jacob stopped firing when Neptune transformed. "What did you do that f-" Jacob was cut short again by the sound of a gunshot coming from the purple pistol that Purple Heart now held. "… where you were keeping that?"

"Just as this transformation gives me a sword, it also gives me this gun. Now, let's attack."

And so the party shot away at the Sand Worm. Over and over, fire bullets were shot and the Sand Worm kept flinching. The party was beginning to get bored by this; IF wasn't even looking directly at the Sand Worm anymore. This caused one of her bullets to miss and ricochet right past Compa's knee.

"Aah!" she yelped.

"Sorry!" IF apologised and kept firing.

After maybe five straight minutes of this arm-numbing exercise, the Sand Worm finally got tired and attacked. It jumped forward with the same amount of ease as the Guard Vermin did- which didn't fail to confuse Jacob- and lunged at IF. Fortunately, IF was agile enough to jump back before the boss struck.

"Okay, it's cheesed. Neptune, IF, Compa, skewer the thing. I'll keep shooting," instructed Jacob.

"Right." The girls ran up to the Sand Worm and began meleeing it to oblivion while Jacob shot at the areas where he was least likely to shoot his comrades. After a few more minutes of this, the Sand Worm finally perished and became data again.

"Well, that went well," commented IF after retracting her blades. "Now, let's go."

* * *

><p>After getting out of that horrid dungeon, the characters decided to talk amongst themselves. As IF was out of the loop, the agreed course of action was to inform IF of the plot. It was also agreed that it should be Jacob who retold the story to the newcomer (the decision came to pass because Neptune wanted to tell the story and Jacob insisted that that was a bad idea and so the storyteller choice came down between Compa and Jacob and it was the latter who volunteered). The story took a bit of time to tell and, by the time Jacob was finished, the cable car had already reached the main landmass.<p>

"So, basically, you're all looking for Key Fragments for this… Histoire person," IF clarified.

"Never mind that!" shouted Neptune. "I wanna know more about that big fight I got into with the other goddesses!" Oh yeah; Jacob also explained a few other things that he neglected to mention earlier. "I mean, the other three ganged up on me and pushed me off of Celestia? Why would they do that? That's not very nice."

Jacob shrugged. "I dunno."

Neptune did not like this answer. "What do you mean, "I dunno"?"

"I. Don't. Know. I just know it happened, not the why or the how or the when. Anyway," Jacob turned back to IF, "that's about right. Thank you for conveniently summarising the plot thus far."

IF crossed her arms. "You mentioned that Histoire was sealed away by this… "witch" called Arfoire. Any idea why she'd do that?"

"I'm assuming it's to take over the world like always. Histoire proved to be an obstacle and Arfoire needed to get rid of her. Simple."

IF eyed Jacob with scrutiny. "One thing just doesn't add up, though… how do _you_ know all this? You said yourself that you were an outsider who's never even been in Gamindustri before now. You can't be from Celestia, otherwise you'd know what exactly happened up there with the goddesses. So, who are you and why do you know all of this stuff?"

"Okay, fine." Jacob was unperturbed by IF's "interrogation". "I'm actually from-"

"A secret network of spies!" Neptune interrupted. "I, Purple Heart, have a secret underground network of spies dedicated to gathering information for me! Jacob is one of their elite operatives."

"Uh huh." Unlike Neptune or Compa, Jacob could easily tell that IF did not believe her story one bit. "Jacob, is that true?"

"No."

"_Crackers, Jacob!_"

"You're… not really from a network of spies?" Compa was mildly shaking by this point, having realised that she had been told a lie.

"I thought so," commented IF. "Now who are you, really?"

"You know, I'd love to stay here and chat but I'd much rather get going to the next objective. I'll explain on the way. Where do we go now?"

"Before we do anything, I'd like to get you a weapon. A proper weapon, one that you can actually use. Therefore, I'd like to go to the shop and get one for you."

Jacob pondered this for a moment. "Sounds good. Let's go."

And so the party walked off in order to find Jacob a new weapon.

* * *

><p><strong>My God, these dungeons are more boring to write about than they are to explore in the game. This will probably improve in later chapters as they focus more on the other characters rather than the bloody dungeons. Anyway, critiques are welcome.<strong>


	5. Gearing Up

**And here's the newest chapter for Hyperdimension Neptunia is Real. Whether this counts as filler or not is up to you but I didn't really want Jacob just trip over a weapon in a dungeon that he has no experience in... then again, he doesn't have experience with weapons in the first place. This is a problem.**

**Oh yeah, review responses:**

**DMAsh: The only reason I tolerate most JRPGs in the first place is because their stories tend to be adventurous and good, like ****Xenoblade Chronicles**** or ****Skies of Arcadia****. If the game is nothing more than turn-based combat entirely, I will get really REALLY bored. Moving on; one thing I often see in self-insert fics is the self-insert knowing about the story and how it goes but they never go out of their way to change it and the fanfic in question is more of a novelization with one more character added, which I feel defeats the purpose of a self-insert in the first place. Jacob is not like that... well, he doesn't know about the game's story but he does know stuff that the other characters don't and he's not afraid to share. PS: Jacob, as an extension of myself, doesn't know how to read a girl's measurements in the first place. The humour would be less him recoiling in horror and more him going "What the hell is this?"**

**Eisenfaust: Have you thought about making an actual account? Aside from that, thank you for the English review and thank you for the review itself. As for Jacob's weapon, I had a bit of trouble both with deciding what weapon he was going to get and also how to describe the weapon (have you ever tried describing how a weapon visually looks by words alone? Not easy). I can't say I'm too proud of what I ended up with but it's better than nothing.**

**Holy Mercury: And more you shall get. Also, I hope for more of YOUR fanfiction. Preferably quickly. By the way, I'm a Vert fanboy, myself. Actually, I'm not a fanboy; I just prefer her amongst the other goddesses because she's sociable, kind, reasonable and she actually does her job (not initially but at least she has character development).**

**Here's the next chapter. I'm not really sure if this is good or not; there's not many jokes and not a lot of interesting things happen. Then again, it is just about Jacob getting a weapon so I best save the jokes for a good chapter.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: Gearing Up<strong>

As the party made their way to the shop, Jacob decided to tell his story. "Are you sure you want to hear this? Believe me; what I'm going to tell you is pretty… big."

"Jacob, in this day alone, I have been informed that our goddess- who has been thought to be missing as she was the only one who didn't come down from Celestia- was standing right in front of me and is slightly smarter than a baby, you are on a massive quest to save Histoire from Arfoire and I saw Neptune transform into… something right before my very eyes. Believe me when I say I can take it," responded IF.

Jacob sighed. "Okay… here goes." He took a deep breath. "I am not from Gamindustri."

While Neptune didn't react at all and IF's eyebrow just rose up, Compa's head snapped towards him. "What? Then where are you from?"

Jacob wiped his forehead. "Well… I'll tell you a story. One winter night, my family was out watching a game of football. In retrospect, that was kind of unusual but, anyway, I was home alone. I decided to play a videogame. It was called "Hyperdimension Neptunia". In it, you play as a girl named Neptune," Neptune perked up at this, "who is the goddess of Planeptune, also known as Purple Heart. She must find Histoire, a tome which holds the answer to the world or something, and stop the onslaught of monsters."

"B-but that's a word to word description of… what's going on… now…" Compa's eyes reflected how she just realised what was going on. "… Are you saying that this is a… video game?"

Jacob nodded. "Yup. All of it."

"Whoa…" IF was clearly surprised by this. "I mean, we say that people game over and the combat rules are like a JRPG but… I never thought that we were actually a video game. I had my suspicions and a lot of people, including me, often joked that this whole world functioned like a really bad video game but… wow." Then her eyes widened. "Hey! If this is a video game, then how did you get in here?"

"I put the game into my PS3 and… it blew up. Apparently the disc did something. Anyway, next I hear this loud screaming from above my house and then this pink blur smashes through my roof and second story floor and embeds itself in the floor on the first level of my house. As you can probably guess, that blur was Neptune." Jacob sighed, remembering his beloved gaming console that was forever beyond fixing.

"There's a link between Gamindustri and your world?" Compa asked.

"Apparently but I have yet to make sense of it. Neptune fell from the sky, so she evidently went from Celestia to my world. What confuses me is that we both got to Gamindustri by going through a sewer."

Neptune was confused. "But Compa said that I fell into the ground of Planeptune."

"Which means that you go down from Gamindustri to get to Jacob's world. To get back, you go down again," IF pointed out.

The entire cast was silent for a bit.

"Anyway," began IF in order to stop everyone from having a headache, "you must come from a very advanced world to be able to create fictional worlds and gateways to them."

"No I don't," responded Jacob. "The year was 2011 when I got here. We don't have technology on the scale of Planeptune or even Lastation. Whatever got me here, it wasn't from my world."

"… that is _very_ odd," IF said. "In any event, this is very unusual and I'm tempted to think you're just some nutjob but... I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Not to mention it's kind of consistent with you; you look nothing like a Gamindustri resident and I've never seen a male that wasn't a silhouette."

"Wait; what?" Jacob was caught off-guard by that last part.

"Oh, you probably don't know. Well… a lot of people in Gamindustri are just black silhouettes. I don't know why but, seeing as we're the only ones with an actual appearance, it probably has something to do with being relevant to the plot," IF elaborated.

"I guess advertising that you were too lazy to give NPCs individual models wouldn't be good for sales." Jacob's joke made Neptune chuckle and IF smile but Compa was still quiet.

"Jacob…?" the apprentice nurse asked timidly. "Is that all true? That this is just a video game? That I'm nothing more than a video game character?"

Jacob sighed; he knew where this was going. "Compa, you're a breathing and thinking living being, a bunch of ones and zeroes or not. It doesn't matter."

"But-but do I have any choice in my life? I-I mean, I've played some games and-and the characters do some things that I wouldn't do… am I going to end up like that? Are my choices really my own?" Compa's eyes began to fill up with tears. "Did I… ever really d-do… anything?"

Neptune walked up to Compa and placed her hands on Compa's shoulders. "Compa, look me right in the eyes." Compa acknowledged the request. "What did you do this morning?"

"I… I treated your wounds and Jacob's-"

"Okay then, never mind this morning. What do you do most other mornings?"

"Well…" Compa sniffed. "I… wake up… get dressed… make myself some toast and coffee… get my books and stuff for school… go to school and… do my work. Then I get home… play some games… maybe talk with Grandpa on the phone… then I go to bed." Compa swallowed. "On weekends, I like to go shopping for… well, anything. I like video games and I also like my GG manga." She began to smile. "I can't wait until-"

"Okay," responded Neptune. "Now, would you still do all that if you knew life was a video game?"

"Huh?" Compa was thrown off-guard by that question. "Well… um…"

"Compa, why do you read GG? It's because you like it, right?"

"… yes?"

"So, video game life or no, you like reading GG."

Compa slowly nodded.

"And eating toast? School? Talking to your Grandpa? You enjoy all those things too, right?"

Compa nodded a bit less slowly.

Neptune smiled and took her hands off of Compa's shoulders and put them on her hips. "Then it doesn't matter if this is all a video game or not. You keep doing things that you enjoy. So what if it isn't real? It wouldn't make a difference if it was."

Compa contemplated all of this, nodding very slowly. "Thank you, Nep-Nep…" she responded as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "That makes me feel a bit better."

IF and Jacob looked at Neptune with disbelief. "Well," IF said, "let's get moving. We still need to get Jacob a weapon."

"Oh!" Compa walked ahead rather quickly with IF. "You're right, let's go."

Neptune walked up to Jacob's side. "Ooh, this gonna be exciting, isn't it? Your first weapon… what will it be? A sword? Maybe a shield? Maybe-"

"Neptune." Jacob cut off his companion. "When did you learn to say stuff like that?"

Neptune blinked. "You taught me in the tram."

Jacob's mind flashed back to after the tutorial dungeon. "Oh… well, thanks for taking my advice to heart."

"It was nothin'!" Neptune smiled. "Come on; let's go get your weapon!" Neptune grabbed the sleeve of Jacob's jacket and pulled him as she ran. However, Jacob ripped his sleeve free and he calmly walked while Neptune pouted.

* * *

><p>After a bit of walking, the quartet finally arrived at a really tall building that had a sign above its doorway simply saying "Shop".<p>

"Not very catchy," Jacob commented. "I presume this is the only place on the entire landmass to buy weapons and stuff?"

"Well, there are smaller stores for more specialised things but no one remembers the names of them," answered Compa.

"I figured as much. Now, inside we go." Jacob opened the doors so that the group could go inside and found that… well, the store was _really_ big. There were isles upon isles of weapons that stretched across the entire floor. The walls were blue and the floor was yellow-ish and there was a counter on the far left of the room. It looked a lot like the kind of mega mall that you'd see in a children's sci-fi anime.

The party entered the store. "Okay, Jacob, you can browse and see if there's anything you'd like," said IF.

"I wanna browse too! Everything looks so cool!" Neptune was hopping up and down like a child at a candy store except she was less excited about eating what she wanted to buy and more about using what she wanted to buy to murder truckloads of monsters.

"Eh, fine then."

"Yay!" Neptune took off towards the right.

"See ya later." Jacob went off in the isle straight ahead.

"Wanna go look for something?" IF asked Compa.

"No, I'll be fine with you."

"Then let's look around for a bit." IF and Compa went to the left.

* * *

><p>"Knives… more knives… claws… claws…" Jacob could feel his excitement exiting his body and catching the nearest bus to a more exciting shop. "Swords… bigger swords… syringes? Why would a regular shop have syringes? Wouldn't that be exclusive equipment for nurses? Ugh, whatever. Why does this shop have so much of the same stuff? And where are the guns? You'd think the most futuristic city would have some decent firearms here. Are revolvers really too advanced for this city and are therefore reserved for the goddess? This makes no sense." Jacob's talking was temporarily halted when he came across a glass display at the end of the isle. When he looked at it, he was... well, he said "What the hell… is this?"<p>

While the item inside didn't look the part, it did have a "Jetpack!" label at the top of it. The item itself seemed to be some sort of backpack-esque instrument but it had a propeller in the back of it rather than on the back of it, making the propeller resemble more of a generator than an actual propulsion device. While the propeller was a dull grey, the rest of the "jetpack" was pitch-black with purple line markings, like Neptune's HDD mode. It was rather simplistic in design, yet it seemed like it could fly anyway.

Just then, Neptune came around the corner. "Hey Jacob! Look what I found: a sword! With an actual cutting edge! Now I can turn my enemies into swiss cheese and sprinkle them all over the puddings of their doom!"

"That's nice," responded Jacob without turning to look at her.

Neptune caught on to his inattentiveness quite easily. "… whatcha lookin' at?" She didn't wait for an answer as she looked at what held Jacob's gaze; the jetpack within the glass display. "A jetpack? You want that?"

"If it actually works, then hell's yes I do," Jacob answered with enthusiasm evident in his voice as he turned to face Neptune. "Seriously, given three wishes, I would ask for world peace, all the spent resources in the world to be restored and doubled and the ability to fly without using a plane or a helicopter or equivalent."

Neptune blinked. "Why do you wanna fly?"

"Because flying is awesome! There's tonnes of freedom, it's faster and more fun than walking and I can go wherever I want without being impeded by the masses below. Simply, I want to fly because it's awesome to."

Neptune crossed her arms to show that she was thinking. "I dunno. It sounds like cheating to me."

"You transform into a flying butterfly girl in order to fight monsters with more power than an adventurer should have at your "level". Forgive me for not taking you seriously."

"But I float, not fly! Therefore, I'm not cheating!"

"Not that it matters because we "cheat" anyway by breaking the RPG rules. In any event, there are lives at stake and I consider them to be of slightly more value than sportsmanship. Anyway, I want to buy this. Did you find anything?"

"Indeedy-do!" Neptune showed Jacob the sword. "Look! An actual katana! With this, I can kill enemies much more easily!"

"Fantastic. Let's go to the counter."

"… but the jetpack's still in the glass box."

"I'm guessing I need to ask the store attendant to unlock the display to get it once I buy it. Come on, let's go."

* * *

><p>"Tell me about Jacob," IF requested of Compa as she browsed the wrist accessories.<p>

"Eh?" Compa wasn't expecting for IF to say such a thing. "Well… he's tall and he… cooks pancakes well and-"

"I meant in regards to fighting. I want to see what kind of weapon would suit him. Hey, here's a bargain bin." IF reached inside the wooden barrel with a "Bargain Bin" label on it. "Not the Spreader; who would want an assault rifle that's useless in three dimensions? Anyway, Compa, how well does Jacob fight?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Well… he's a pacifist."

"Oh yeah, you said something like that. I thought a pacifist didn't approve of violence?"

"He's okay with that; just not killing. Except for when he tried to kick a Dogoo. He couldn't bring himself to do it."

"… okay then." IF went back to exploring the barrel. "Now, he can at least use a revolver but that doesn't cover melee because he doesn't have any martial arts experience. That means we need a close-range weapon for him and I don't mean something like this chainsaw." She dropped the item back into the barrel. "Know what his weapon of choice is?"

"I don't think he has one."

IF turned back to Compa. "… pardon?"

"Well, after we completed the tutorial dungeon, he told Neptune and me that he really should go home because he doesn't know how to fight and this place is very dangerous to him. I don't think he's fought a single battle in his life."

IF looked at Compa with disbelief as she supported herself with one hand on the edge of the barrel and the other on her forehead. "So, if I have this right, Jacob has no martial arts experience or experience with weapons period, doesn't approve of killing things and can't even hurt a _Dogoo_?

Compa meekly nodded.

"Ugh…" IF ran her hands through her hair. "Well… let's see." She looked in the bargain bin again. "You know what? I think a Spreader suits him just fine."

"You sure?" asked Compa. "We could always get him a shield-sword or something."

"It'll take him too long to use it well. Assault rifles don't need a lot of training and the spread means he _might_ hit something. Anyway, it's only 350 credits and we have about 800. We can afford it."

"Okay then. Let's buy it."

* * *

><p>Neptune and Jacob arrived at the counter at the same time as IF and Compa. "Oh, hey," said IF. "Found something?"<p>

"Yeah, just waiting for the store attendant," answered Jacob just as a silhouette of a young woman came out of the door behind the bench. _Oh God, she_ is_ a silhouette_ was coursing through Jacob's mind as soon as he glimpsed her.

"Hello, can I help you?" said the attendant while resting her elbow on the counter and her face on her hand.

"Uh, hi," responded Jacob. "I just wanted to make an inquiry about the price of that jetpack you have in the back." He pointed towards it with his index finger.

The attendant… well, Jacob at least thought she raised an eyebrow. It was hard to tell. "You really want that thing?"

"Yes. Why does everyone keep asking that?"

"Well, it's just that no one seems to want a jetpack unless it has wings or massive thrusters. Still, if you want it, be my guest. It's about 670,000 credits."

IF and Compa's eyes bulged out. Jacob's didn't. "That sounds like a lot…" he mentioned.

"We only have 880," IF informed.

Jacob mouthed an "oh" before looking depressed. "Aww… I really wanted that jetpack."

"Hey, if you can't pay for it, you don't get it," the attendant said. "Now, are you buying something or not?"

IF placed the Spreader on the bench. "We'll be taking this. Jacob," IF turned to him, "this'll be your weapon. Rapid fire and it fires five energy balls at a time in different-"

"I know how it works," Jacob interrupted.

"Well, do you want it or not."

"… It'll do." Even a child could tell that Jacob was disappointed.

Suddenly, Neptune had an idea. With absolutely no prior warning, she transformed into Purple Heart much to the shock of those around her.

"Neptune, what the hell?" Jacob commented.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y..." The attendant stammered.

"Sorry for being so sudden but this was important; I had no other way of proving to you that I am Purple Heart, the goddess of Planeptune," Purple Heart spoke to the attendant.

"Purple Heart… _Lady Purple Heart?_" It was amazing that the attendant hadn't fainted yet.

"My friends here are to join me on my travels to the other landmasses to get several items that may save the world from the monster infestation. However, we are in need of better equipment and you seem to have some good items. May we borrow them for an unspecified amount of time?"

"Neptune, are you seriously abusing your power for freebies?" IF asked, incredulous.

"We're about to go to many monster-infested dungeons and fight very powerful adversaries," Purple Heart reasoned. "We should arm ourselves appropriately, don't you think?"

"Yeah, but you're abusing your power for freebies. That's not exactly befitting of a goddess."

"It-it's okay!" The attendant waved her hands in front of her as if to make the issue go away. "I don't mind! Really! If it's for Lady Purple Heart, then sure! Take it!"

"Really?" Jacob perked up.

"Absolutely! I mean, if she says it's important then it must be important!" The attendant pressed a few buttons on the computer on the bench. The party looked back at the glass display and saw it opening up. "Oh!" The attendant suddenly spoke up. "I also have something for you in the back, Lady Purple Heart. It was made especially for you." She then retreated to the back of the store, leaving the confused party behind.

"That was odd," IF commented.

"Not to mention she's irresponsible to leave a 670,000 credit item open for anyone to steal. I'll get it now." Jacob walked over to the jetpack to retrieve it. During his absence, the attendant came back with a briefcase adorned with many amethysts and painted black. After opening the four combination locks on the front of the briefcase, she finally opened it to reveal…

… a pair of white metal gloves. Well, technically, they were gauntlets but they were still very underwhelming. While the back of the hands and forearms and sides of the forearms were made out of a metal for protection, the undersides of the hands and forearms were made from a synthetic material designed to allow flexibility. On the palms were symbols of a large circle surrounded by a ring. Smaller symbols were on the fingertips and were joined to the palm symbol by a line running down the bottom of the fingers. All of these symbols and lines were made out of a different sort of material. The back of the hand part of the gloves had the same symbol but the circle was an indentation with a blue orb in them. There were three long blocks protruding like black spines running along the lengths of the backs of the forearms of both gloves and there was an extension on each forearm that covered the elbows.

"What are these?" asked Purple Heart just as Jacob came back with his jetpack.

"These are special inventions made by ZECA, the leading corporation on this landmass. They were made to simulate the magic of Lowee to a degree and, as an added bonus, increase the arm strength of whoever is wearing them."

"Can I take a look at it?" At the attendant's nod, Jacob picked up the right glove and inspected it. "What can they do?"

"Right now, they just fire rays of energy that eat away at the opponent- you know like, how in anime, energy beams just shred the target to pieces rather than push them away?- or fire balls of physical force that push enemies."

IF raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean "right now"? Is this a test model?"

"Nope." Jacob thought that the attendant wore a smile. "These gauntlets are part of ZECA's efforts to replace the whole system of buying new weapons to replace old ones. You can upgrade these gauntlets with modules and new software. That way, you don't have to replace them ever again! You have to agree that not having to spend so much money on weapons is pretty neat, right?"

"Yeah, it is." Jacob placed the glove back in the briefcase. "Sticking with the same weapons and just upgrading them is a hell of a lot better than getting and selling obsolete gear after every mission."

"I agree; the old business model is a bit outdated," commented IF. "I'll be curious to see where this goes."

"I'm glad you agree!" The attendant gave the briefcase to Purple Heart. "As you are our goddess, Lady Purple Heart, I was asked to give the items to you when you visited this store."

"What on Earth made ZECA… odd name… think that Purple Heart would actually come here?" inquired Jacob.

"I dunno myself." The attendant shrugged. "Me and a lot of other people said that it would be smarter to drop the thing off at the Basilicom since Purple Heart would be there if she ever came down. Guess I was wrong."

"I see," answered IF. "Well, thanks for the gloves and the jetpack. We'll be going now."

"If I may…" Purple Heart transformed back into Neptune and held her- I mean, the shop's sword up to the counter, "Can I have this too, pretty please?"

"Sure."

"Neptune, you already have a sword. Where are you going to keep this one?" Jacob knew that Neptune had her own hammerspace but he was learning that pointing out inconsistencies with physics and logic in this world managed to make them unravel, so he decided to see how they wormed their way out of the luggage problem.

"She can just store it in her disc, Jake," Compa replied.

Jacob looked at her, perplexed. "What do you mean?"

Compa reached for the disc holder that was hanging from the left of her belt and pulled out her syringe. "Bags aren't really necessary here because we have discs that can hold many objects in a small space. We used to call them "pockidiscs" before someone said that sounded stupid and now we just call them discs."

"… that's amazing." Jacob didn't move at all.

"Wait; you've never seen a disc before?" The attendant asked.

"It's a long story," said IF. "It's best to just let it go."

"But does Neptune even have a disc?" Jacob asked. "I don't think I've ever seen her with one."

"Not to worry!" Neptune put the sword behind her back and it disappeared. "I have a hammerspace! I don't need a disc!"

"Fascinating…" The attendant stroked her chin. "That must be part of being a goddess."

"Can I get a disc, please?" Jacob asked.

"Certainly! Here you go!" The attendant reached under the counter and pulled out a disc alongside a CD carry case with a handle. "I'll even throw this in as well, just so you can carry it more safely."

"Whoa, thanks." Jacob took the disc and put it in the first cover of the case. "So how do I put the jetpack in there?"

"Let me help, Jake." Compa took the jetpack. "So you just move this over like this…" She moved the jetpack over the disc case and it disappeared in the same way that Neptune put away her sword, "… and that's how you do it. Does that make sense?"

"… not really but I'm willing to go with it. Is there anything else we need?"

"Well, you do need the instruction manual for the jetpack, which I have here," the attendant handed it over the counter, "but aside from that, I wouldn't know."

"Don't worry, we're good," said IF. "Let's go, guys."

"Thanks, ma'am," said Jacob.

"You're welcome. Oh, and happy adventuring," the attendant responded before the group walked out. "Wouldn't you know it; the goddess herself! This day couldn't get any better."

* * *

><p>"Thanks for that, Neptune," said Jacob as he placed the instruction manual into his disc. "I didn't think you'd actually do that. Not that I necessarily approve but I am thankful for the jetpack."<p>

"Crap!" spontaneously shouted IF, causing Jacob, Neptune and Compa to look back.

"What's wrong, Iffy?" asked Neptune.

"I forgot to get the Spreader! Now we don't have a weapon for Jacob!"

Jacob didn't speak for a bit. "Hey, Neptune?"

"Hm? What's up, Jacob?"

"Could I use those gloves as my weapon, please? I mean, you have your revolver and your sword; I just think I could really use those."

Neptune pondered this for a moment. "Well… I'm not gonna use them, so sure, here you go." She gave the briefcase to Jacob who clearly wasn't expecting it to be as heavy as he thought.

"Thank… you..." Jacob struggled to put it into the disc but he managed. "Why didn't they just put the gloves in a disc and just give that away rather than give us a suitcase that looks much more expensive to make?"

"I imagine it's for presentation," IF replied. "Functionality isn't that important as long as the thing that's meant to work looks really cool. That's why jetpacks mostly have big thrusters or wings."

"That's depressing," said Jacob.

"I still think it's kind of unfair that you get all the cool toys, though." Neptune put her hands on her hips. "I know you're a secret DLC character and everything-"

"No I'm not."

"- but that doesn't mean you should get the best items."

"Neptune, as far as right now, all of us have a weapon and a gadget for miscellaneous purposes. You have a sword and a hammer for crushing things. Compa has a syringe gun and a bell for summoning monsters, although I have yet to figure out what practical use that is. IF has her daggers and a bangle for finding invisible treasure chests. I have energy firing gloves and a jetpack for getting to out-of-reach places. I think this is perfectly fair."

Compa spoke up. "Jake, I think the problem isn't that you're breaking a rule but rather that you have the cooler items."

"Well, as I have little to no combat experience, I still think this is perfectly fair."

"Neptune, just drop it," said IF. "Anyway, now Jacob has his weapons and a jetpack. What's going to happen now?"

"Well, we need to hurry up to the next landmass so we can get the Key Fragment to free Histy!" Neptune declared.

IF crossed her arms. "The different fragments are guarded by monsters, so the source is really whoever ordered the fragments to be guarded. That Histoire character must have something to do with it, too. Saving the world, hm? It could be a big fib."

Jacob shook his head. "I doubt it; I don't think this game is sophisticated enough to pull a twist like that."

"Maybe but you can't be too careful. If this is all true, however, then leaving it you three will probably spell doom for all humanity. I'd be fine with Jacob because he's sensible but he doesn't know how to fight and he doesn't know his way around, unless I'm mistaken… do you know your way around Gamindustri?"

"No."

IF sighed. "No choice, then. I'll join you. You're travelling, right? Then you'll need someone who's been to a lot of different lands."

"Yay!" cheered Neptune. "Iffy's joining us with her own consent this time!"

"I think you mean by my own volition. Anyway, about those fragments… if they're guarded by monsters, it might be pretty easy to find them after all."

"Why would you think that?" asked Jacob. "I mean, I've only been here for almost two days but I can already tell that there's a lot of dungeons here, all filled with monsters. How on Earth does that make it pretty easy to find the fragments?"

"Ah!" Neptune exclaimed as she held up a finger. "But Histy said that the fragments were guarded by _strong_ monsters!"

"Neptune, we got the first fragment in a _tutorial dungeon_."

"… oh."

Compa stepped forward. "Um… maybe Histy meant strong as in relative to us?"

"Definitely not," responded Jacob. "By that logic, we'd get the next fragment in the very first dungeon we go to for each landmass and I don't think there's a single game in existence that could screw up narrative pacing on such a basic level."

"This only makes me think that Histoire really is pulling our chains," said IF.

"Or maybe the writers weren't paying attention."

"We don't have time for this!" Neptune shouted. "The world's in danger and we need to hurry up and get the fragments!"

"I agree; it's not like sitting around and arguing over Histoire's intentions is going to fix this monster crisis," said Jacob. "IF, how do we get to the next landmass?"

"We'll need to get a permit from the Basilicom to access the Sky Harbor. I'll take you there."

"Hey, speaking of… what's a Basilicom again?" Neptune asked.

IF turned to look at Neptune with disbelief. "How do you not- oh, right, amnesia. Forgot."

"I'll explain, Miss IF." Compa turned to Neptune. "Basilicoms are holy organisations run by those who serve the goddesses. There are two parts to a Basilicom: the Sanctuary, where the goddesses are cared for, and the Parliament, for political activites."

Neptune still looked confused. "Whoa, stop. Why not let the people at the Basilicom explain it? We're heading there anyway," IF put in her two cents.

"Ah, okay. We'll continue this when we reach the Basilicom. Okay, Nep-Nep?"

"Alrighty then. Let's go!"

And so the party ventured forward to get to the Basilicom.

"Uh, for clarification, the Basilicom isn't at the end of some dungeon, is it?" Jacob asked.

"What? No, it's only on one of the surrounding islands of Planeptune. Easy sailing," responded IF.

"Thank God. Let's go."

And so the party ventured forward to get to the Basilicom without Jacob butting in with some annoying question.

* * *

><p><strong>And so the characters have to go to another pl- wait, I did the "And so the" thing about twice already. Better cut that out. However, I am having trouble finding another way of conclusively ending a chapter. This will probably change later, so don't worry. Anyway, I'm willing to bet that most of you are probably disappointed with Jacob's weapon of choice but this is MY fanfiction and not yours. If you intend to include Jacob in one of your own fanfics (and I strongly suggest you don't without my permission and reading of the fanfic before it's posted so that it's accurate, otherwise I WILL find you, overseas travel costs be damned), then give him whatever weapon you want.<strong>

**As has been established in this chapter, Jacob got a weapon and a gadget, Compa has existential issues, discs act as bags of holding, Jacob sulks if he doesn't get his way and the party is now going to the Basilicom. Don't worry; I plan to address all of those.**

**If you're hoping for another quick update, you'll probably be disappointed; I'm starting university next month (Game Design and Development, for the curious) and I most definitely won't be able to keep this thing updated like normal. I'll do what I can; just don't keep your hopes up.**


	6. Going to the Basilicom

**Believe me, I'm as surprised as anyone else that I got this chapter up. Well, uni's just started (I mean university; not Black Sister, thank God) and it's still just picking up momentum. I just hope I'm ready for it when it crashes. Anyway, questions...**

**Holy Mercury: I have no idea what the hell those are but I'm reminded of a girl dressed in a cat suit (and I mean an actual cat suit; not just ears and a tail and the skimpiest underwear they can find) jumping around in a ball pit full of ball-shaped cereal bites. Now I've made myself hungry.**

**CypherPen: I'll remember that. Thanks.**

**Eisenfaust: Oh, thanks for the English comment. About the blood brothers/sisters deal... well, he just met these people. They're nice and all but he's not going to pledge some sort of lifelong oath to them like in Romance of the Three Kingdoms. I watched one episode of KHR but I can't remember the character's names so I can't really give an answer there. About Mk2... I don't know. I went to get some games about two weeks ago and I got Dark Void (fun) and Atelier Totori(boring). Mk2 was on the shelves but I can ****_not _****take that game to the counter and actually say "I want to buy this" with my dignity intact. I want to play it if only out of sheer morbid curiosity but don't get your hopes up.**

**godofmadness43: Indeed he did. How well he'll fight with them will be revealed in this chapter. As for Green Heart, you'll just have to wait.**

**DMAsh: As far as Jacob is concerned, getting home and staying alive have slightly higher priority than telling a good story. Neptune's concerned about good plot twists but Jacob really just wants to get his over and done with. Also, thanks, thanks and thanks. In regards to the item storage, I was thinking about those summoning discs and how they worked. As Compa carried that disc carry case with her wherever she went, I decided to let my imagination run wild.**

**liexi: That is a definite maybe.**

**Have fun with this chapter.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6: Going to the Basilicom<strong>

"Whoa!" exclaimed Neptune after they arrived at the Basilicom after going through a bunch of trees (why would anyone put a public building of great importance in the middle of a forest where anything could be lurking?). The structure was in the middle of a wide area of grey pavement and resembled a church. To be more specific, the Basilicom had two towers at the front with blue spires at the top. The walls were white and arch windows lined the sides of the building. The walls were shorter than the ceiling, which made the whole thing resemble a small rectangular box with a massive triangular prism on the top, with the prism being the blue roof with what seemed to be a golden weathervane at the front.

Now, the front of the Basilicom was a sight to behold: in addition to the golden edges that were present on other parts of the building, the front also had detailed stained glass windows that made it look like a collection of giant shaped jewels including a ruby, an emerald and a few amethysts with golden borders. It looked really grand. "That's a Basilicom? It's so big and towering and pretty and stuff!" Neptune then looked left and right. "But where is everyone?"

"This place is meant to be densely populated?" asked Jacob.

"Not really," answered IF. "Still, there are normally at least a few people walking around. Unfortunately, they're all hiding from monsters. Planeptune seems more ravaged by them compared to the other lands. Anyway, Neptune, go talk to the Basilicom's staff. They'll communicate with a different one and then we'll be on our way. Also, while you're there, ask the Basilicom staff anything you want while you have the chance. I'll stay here to keep Jacob and Compa company. "

"Okay, then I'll be back in a jiffy!" Neptune walked into the Basilicom, leaving her three companions outside.

"You sure it was a good idea to let her inside alone?" asked Jacob as he reached for his disc.

"I'm sure she'll be fine. She just has to get the permits and we'll be on our way. Anyway, what are you doing?" IF observed Jacob pull his jetpack out of his disc.

"I figured I'd give this a bit of practice before she gets back. Now," he inspected the instrument and found a small door under it. He opened it and found a small book inside. "Oh, it's the instruction booklet. Let's see… put on the jetpack as you would a backpack." He did as the instructions instructed and was pleasantly surprised as the straps automatically fastened. "Okay, now… just think about… where you want to go and the jetpack will take you there? What? How does that work?"

"Let me look." IF took the booklet from Jacob and flipped a few pages. "Apparently, it's designed to read your thoughts and act accordingly."

"I gathered that but _how _does it do that? I mean, does it plug into my spine or something?"

""Unfortunately, we are unable to divulge the secrets of our product due to copyright and other things. If you would like to find out the secret, you are free to join our company and work for a few years before you are entitled to see the blueprints"," IF read. "Don't worry about it; just fly."

Jacob groaned. "Fine, whatever." He thought about flying straight upwards and was very surprised when he found himself suddenly shooting from the ground. "Whoa!" Fortunately, he managed to make himself stop ascending. The bad news is that he was now falling. "AH!" Fortunately (again), he managed to stop his descent. "Whoa… this is… this is new…" He set himself on the ground. "This might take me a while."

"Don't worry too much about it, Jake," Compa said to Jacob in a warm manner. "I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. Just keep your cool."

"Thanks, Compa." Jacob took a deep breath. Slowly, he elevated himself off of the ground to about two meters in the air. "Okay… I can do this." He moved parallel to the ground while maintaining his height. He then began rotating as he moved. "Hey, this isn't so bad…"

* * *

><p>The interior of the Basilicom, which resembled a church, was also very attractive. It had blue and purple stained glass windows that made the inside very purple even though the walls were blue. Gold was also very present; it was on the edges of the seats, the altar had golden ornaments protruding from it and bound collections of golden rods supported the structure of the building. Oddly enough, the building didn't seem to be as long and the roof didn't seem to be as tall as they looked from the outside. Anyway, a red carpet ran down the middle.<p>

"Excuse me!" called Neptune to the nearest person; a male silhouette wearing a tall hat and carrying a book around. "I wanna go to other landmasses! Is that okay?"

"Ah, hello," answered the man. "Applying for terraportation? Could you give us your reason and how long you will be travelling for?"

"How long? I dunno. Reason…" Neptune thought her answer through. "Um, to defeat monsters! I wanna travel the world and fight bad guys!" She finished by pumping her fist into the air.

"Admirable for one so young." The man got out a pen and began writing. "Okay… long term… salvage areas attacked by monsters. There." He then looked up. "Or shall I word it in a more vague way? Volunteer work, maybe? That'd look better on your resume."

"I don't care, whatever. Hurry it up; my party is waiting for me!"

"Oh, you have some friends with you, hm? Could you write their names here?" The man gave Neptune his pen and allowed her to write. "… That's it. Thank you very much. Bye."

Neptune was about to leave but then she remembered her questions. "W-wait! This is my first time doing this so I dunno much about the Basilicom. Could you tell me about it?"

"A Basilicom novice, eh? Let me tell you a bit about our origins and give a small history lesson." The man cleared his throat. "Long ago, Basilicoms were created by the CPUs, Console Patron Units you call goddesses."

"Oh, like me?"

"… I beg your pardon?"

"Well, I'm a goddess. At least, that's what my friends tell me and I believe them." Neptune had no problems whatsoever telling this to someone she just met.

The man, however, didn't seem to believe her if his chuckling was of any indication. "Oh, your friends told you that? Well, then they must be kidding you."

"Really? Well, they said I'm a goddess because I can do this." Right in front of his eyes, Neptune transformed into Purple Heart. "Is that true?"

The man was stunned silent. "L-Lady Purple Heart? Is-is that really you?"

"My friends have no reason to lie to me. I am certain that I am Purple Heart, your goddess."

The man put his hand on his forehead but he did not close his eyes. "Y-You're here… and you're safe."

Purple Heart raised an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I be?"

This inquiry confused the man. "You do not know? I've heard from the other landmasses about this… Overlord Momus, whoever he is, attacked Celestia and drove the other three CPUs down here. Only you were unaccounted for. We all feared the worst, b-but…" He wiped his eyes. "You're okay… and you're back here with us. I could not be happier, my lady. Now, please come along; we have many things to discuss."

"U-um…" Purple Heart was hesitant.

The man picked up on this. "What is wrong?"

Purple Heart took a deep breath. While she was not really nervous, she didn't want to come across as rude or dismissive to the man. "I… I have been asked by someone named Histoire to rescue her from her captor. She seems to be connected to me and the other goddesses and she claims to be "the world's everything", whatever that means. I believe she needs to be rescued in order to stop the monster attacks. This means that I must travel to the other landmasses and find the items needed to release her."

"B-but Planeptune is in disarray!" The man argued. "It needs your guidance, my lady! If you are not here to boost morale and save the people, then the casualties will pile up!"

"I believe," Purple Heart interjected, "that you should meet my comrades outside. They should be able to explain the situation better than I could."

The man rubbed his forehead, this time closing his eyes. He sighed before saying "Very well. If that is what you wish, my lady."

* * *

><p>"Hey Jacob, you think you should go a bit higher?" IF asked.<p>

"Nah," the floating teen responded. "I'll just stick to hovering for now. Baby steps." He began moving a bit faster. "Still, there's no harm in hovering faster- hey, there's Nep- Purple Heart?"

IF, Compa and Jacob saw Purple Heart exit the Basilicom with the silhouette man in tow. Jacob lowered himself to the ground. "Hey, Neptune," IF greeted. "What's going on? And why are you transformed?"

"I have informed this man of our mission to the other landmasses to free Histoire," Purple Heart explained.

"Let me guess; he doesn't believe you?" said Jacob.

"Actually, he does. He just doesn't want me to leave."

"My lady, Planeptune has been torn apart by the invading monsters. Without your leadership, it will crumble. Please, return to us," the man implored.

"You seem to have been functioning pretty well without her so far. I have yet to see a single sign of fighting for the whole day and a half I've been here." Jacob glanced around. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen a single soldier and we've already cleared out two dungeons."

"You have?" the man seemed surprised. "That's… unexpected."

"We're just starting out," IF responded. "So the problem is that you need Neptune to lead the people?"

"Indeed. You may have noticed that Planeptune has been more ravaged by monsters than the other landmasses."

"Sorry, we haven't been to the other landmasses yet," commented Jacob. "Also, Planeptune, from what I've seen, really doesn't look all that ravaged."

"I can assure you, the damage is subliminal."

Jacob coughed.

"In any event, the monster attacks are indeed fierce. The other landmasses can cope; their goddesses are present. Our lady was presumed to be missing before now. However, now that she is here, she can bring peace to our land once more."

"Um, Mister Worker?" Compa spoke up. "I don't think Nep-Nep will be much help right now. N-not to say that she's bad or anything! I mean, she's actually got amnesia right now so she can't remember anything before a day ago."

"Amnesia?" the man quoted, confused.

"Yeah, Compa's nailed it. Terribly sorry, but Neptune's in no state to govern an entire continent. She can't remember her life as a goddess. Hell, she didn't even know she was a goddess until I told her," Jacob explained.

The man eyed him with suspicion. "How did _you_ come across such knowledge?"

"Would you believe me if I said I came from another world and this place is a videogame that I put into my PS3 but blew up and created a portal leading here?"

"… I am terribly sorry; what?"

"Okay then, just assume I worked for Neptune as some sort of international spy."

The man sighed and rested his face in his hand. "I shall assume that."

"Look," Jacob began as he walked towards the man, "I'm no politician but I do get what you're saying and I fully understand your predicament. However, Neptune- Purple Heart, sorry, isn't in the right state of mind to lead Planeptune. We need to go to the other landmasses in order to get the other items necessary to free who we're looking for. I'm pretty sure this'll stop the monster invasion."

The man sighed again, although this time it was an expression of mild despair. "I understand. I'm just… so many people have died because of the monsters. If Lady Purple Heart could lead us again, we could save so many lives…"

"I understand that but, with Neptune missing her memories, I think she'll cause more problems than she'll fix. In any event, I think it'd be best to stop the casualties completely faster than to just keep them lower for the rest of her life."

The man looked down at the ground. "… Fine. I understand. Take her to the other landmasses and free this Histoire. Please stop the monsters stone cold in their tracks. We will… try to manage from here."

Jacob, Compa, IF and Purple Heart all felt a little bit guilty. "Do not worry," Purple Heart responded. "We will be back before you know it."

"I truly hope so, my lady. I wish you safe travels." He then turned to Jacob, Compa and IF. "As for you three…" He then glared at them… at least, Jacob thought he did; silhouette facial expressions are hard to read, "… if Lady Purple Heart comes to even the slightest harm, I will make your return here _very_ unpleasant. Do you hear me?"

Compa and IF nodded with haste.

"Yeah, yeah," Jacob responded dismissively. He wasn't the type to be easily moved by threats. "Don't worry; we'll look after her. That is, when she's not looking after us as she's, you know, a goddess. That can fly."

The man snorted in amusement. "You have your permit. Now, make your journey a good one-"

Suddenly, a ringtone came from IF. Everyone looked at her as she pulled out a phone. She flipped the top open. "… Nope." She then closed it.

"What was that, IF?" Compa asked. At the same time, Purple Heart's transformation ended.

"The Basilicom sent me another message. Said that the Sand Worm we took out wasn't actually taken out and they want me to take care of it again. We're kind of on a mission so I said no."

"Wait; you four took out the Sand Worm? I am very grateful." The man bowed. "It makes me feel easier to know that you are going on a quest to maybe save the world."

"Aw, shucks…" Neptune rubbed the back of her head. Then she turned to IF. "Iffy! How can you say that? There are people still suffering here! The least we can do is take on just one more dungeon!"

"This is coming from someone who was whining about her quest to save the world being boring," Jacob muttered to himself.

The man had keen ears. "What did you say?"

"Nothing!" Jacob said quickly. "Anyway, this shouldn't take us too long. Also, I have my new weapons and it'll be a good opportunity to test them out."

IF huffed. "Fine but let's hurry."

"Bye, Mister Worker!" Compa waved courteously.

"Farewell, Nep- Lady Purple Heart, Compa, IF and Jacob," he responded in kind.

"Wah!" Compa was not expecting that. "How do you know our names?"

"Lady Purple Heart listed them as part of the permit."

"… oh. Well, okay then. Take care."

"Bye, man." Jacob extended his hand towards him.

This gesture confused him. "Um, I am flattered but-"

"Handshake, form of greeting."

"… oh. Well," the man took the hand and shook it, "pleasant travels for all of you."

"Bye now!" Neptune said. "Take care of the landmass while I'm gone!" Jacob began to hover in the air as the party moved to the tram.

"We will. Do not fret, my lady." The man went back inside the Basilicom.

Neptune looked at Jacob. "What's with the hovering?"

"I want to get some practice in," Jacob explained.

Neptune nodded and the party proceeded.

* * *

><p>The party went back to Cave #1. At the entrance, Jacob put on his gloves. They fit perfectly, which he found odd as the gloves were specifically designed for Neptune. He stopped caring around the time he remembered they could let him fire lasers from his hands. "Okay, so we just gotta find the Sand Worm again, right?"<p>

"Mhm. I'm just wondering how it survived our attacks. I mean, we were kind of brutal," IF commented.

"Let's not worry about that and just kill it again."

The party took maybe three steps before three… things appeared in front of them. They were small, purple and they hopped on one three-toed foot which supported what looked like a living telescope with small wings on the side and a massive eyeball where the lens should be. "What are those?" asked Jacob.

"Imps," answered IF.

"Alrighty. Let's see, how do I operate these things?" He outstretched his right hand as he used his left to pull out the instruction manual. "I don't suppose I'm supposed to just think about it-" Without warning, a laser sort of resembling a line of red fire about half a foot wide erupted from the palm of Jacob's right glove and impacted the Imp, pushing it back a little bit. The monster looked burnt and a little bit off balance but it still looked ready to fight. "… I guess wireless neural interfaces are the future?"

"Apparently so," IF responded.

"Eh, whatever. Anyway, she said something about force balls or whatever…" Jacob concentrated and a ball of energy (yes, energy isn't a thing but he really couldn't find a better word for it) formed in the palm of his hand. "Cool…" He aimed his right hand at the imp and… imagined the ball firing forward. Which it did. It struck the imp dead on and pushed it. Upon impact with a wall, the ball expanded and released a small concussive blast before disappearing. "That was nice," Jacob commented.

Neptune crossed her arms and huffed. "Okay, I want a super cool high-tech weapon now. Jacob's no longer allowed to have any cool stuff."

"Eek!" Compa responded to the second Imp that leapt towards her by swinging her syringe and hitting the Imp with it like a bludgeon. It batted the thing away but it just got up and charged again. Compa was ready this time; she aimed her syringe and fired a fire bullet which correctly predicted a light shower of data.

"Nice work- Neptune!" IF charged at the third Imp that leapt towards Neptune and promptly made short work of it via a series of skilful manoeuvres and the use of her daggers. "Wake up, Neptune! You were almost hit!"

"They don't do much damage. I think I'd cope," Neptune replied nonchalantly, much to IF's chagrin.

"Girls, let's move on," said Jacob.

The party progressed onwards through the dungeon, going through the twists and turns again and again. It concluded with the party coming face to face with the Sand Worm once more.

"So what do w-" Compa didn't finish as the Sand Worm immediately jumped forward to attack the party. It swung its head around, intent on attacking both Compa and IF. Thankfully, they both dodged backwards. "Ah! Why do they always attack me first?"

"I'll be damned," remarked Jacob. "They actually know to kill the medic first. Still, let's have some roast worm." He thrust his right palm forward to shoot a laser at the face of the beast. True to its purpose, it "ate away" at the Sand Worm while impacting it. While it seemed to at least affect the monster, the Sand Worm nonetheless lunged at Jacob who had to be tackled out of the way by Neptune.

"Are you okay, Jacob?" Neptune asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks. Now, can you please get off?"

Neptune didn't respond. She just stayed suspended over Jacob's body, which was lying on its side. She kept looking at the side of his face in silence.

"Neptune, I'd rather not be worm food. Relinquish my body at once."

Neptune stayed silent. In the background, Compa yelled "AH!" as the Sand Worm tackled IF into a wall.

Jacob sighed. "Fine, then." He activated his jetpack and rose into the air. Neptune, having not anticipated this in the slightest, fell off.

"Ah! Hey! What was that for?" Neptune asked as she stood up.

"You wouldn't- OH CRAP!" Jacob hovered to the right away from the leaping Sand Worm. While the Sand Worm lunged forward to bite at… nothing, Jacob fired another laser at the side of the Sand Worm's face. Again, it didn't have the effect that Jacob would want from a futuristic death ray.

"For God's sake, _die already!_" Jacob thrust both of his hands forward at once, which created a much larger laser than one hand did which almost entirely engulfed the Sand Worm. When the seven-foot wide attack ended after a few seconds, the effects became clear; the Sand Worm seemed to be panting and it had burn marks all over.

"It's tired! Finish it off!" IF shouted as she and Neptune ran up to it to take it out in close combat while Compa and Jacob supported them from afar with bullets and energy balls respectively. After about thirty seconds, it was finally finished off.

Jacob breathed heavily as he landed back on the ground. "Curses, bosses can take a lot of hits… come to think of it, the Sand Worm seemed more resilient than it was last time."

"They tend to do that," IF commented as she retracted her daggers.

"That was awesome, Jake!" Compa commented. "How did you do that?"

"Well… I just got frustrated that my lasers weren't doing as much damage as your bullets were doing. I guess using both hands magnifies a function?"

"Looks like a weak attack used to take on a lot of smaller monsters. You seem to be able to keep up the beams as much as you can get away with so maybe it works like bug spray," analysed IF.

Jacob thought about this. "You might be right. I guess I should use the balls for single targets."

"Probably. Anyway, let's go back."

Before the party could exit the cave, however, they all heard an evil laugh from behind them. "I've found you, Neptune!" boasted the voice of an older woman. "I didn't think you actually fell to the world below!"

The party turned around. "Who's there? And what's with that melodramatic laugh?" asked Neptune.

A woman stepped out of the shadows and Jacob recoiled in shock. He thought Green Heart's CPU appearance was insane. Who the hell designed _this_ woman? She had pale purple skin, hair like Neptune's except a bit shorter, black eyeliner and her black fingernails made her hands resemble claws. She wore a witch's hat with its base lined with olive-green thorned vine decorations and an ornamental rose. Purple thorned vines circled her biceps and neck. Her outfit consisted of some sort of black corset that was held together at the middle by cords so that her cleavage and midriff were exposed and her detached sleeves had poofy cuffs and were frayed at the parts that would connect to the shoulders. She also wore a studded belt, keeping with the gothic theme, as well as skin-tight black pants and black witch boots. At the back of her torso-wear was some form of ornament that resembled the pointy edges of a skirt. Jacob could not figure out for the life of him what it was.

He could, however, figure out who this opponent was.

"Arfoire!" he called, surprising everyone else present, especially Arfoire.

"How do you know my name, boy?" she demanded to know.

"I know a lot of things, dearest," Jacob responded. "You're just the icing on the cake."

"Well, then…" She pulled out from behind her a rod with a massive cross-oriented spearhead, as in it had like two spearheads with one running through the other so it looks like a cross when viewed from one end, like a cross-headed screwdriver but a big flipping spear. To accurately describe the thing would take a lifetime so just believe me when I say it's overly intricate and likely to snag on something. "… I guess I better kill you before you spoil my surprise!"

The entire party braced themselves. They knew the hurt was coming.

… only it didn't.

"What are you waiting for?" Neptune asked.

Arfoire clearly looked irritated. "I can't go until you three attack first, so get to it."

Neptune blinked. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. You see-"

"Neptune," Jacob interrupted, "may I have a word with you?"

"Huh? Oh, okay then. What do you want?"

"Please hurry up!" Arfoire called. "I don't have all day!"

Jacob walked over to Neptune and began whispering in her ear. "If I'm right, we can attack about three times before it's her turn, right?"

Neptune nodded. "Uh huh."

"So, I was thinking… why don't we take advantage of those attacks to get in three legitimate hits and then beat the living stuffing out of her?"

Neptune nodded more vigourously. "Ah ha! That makes a lot of sense! Okay, we'll go with that."

"Okay." He turned towards IF and Compa. "Girls, we're gonna take turns right now. When I give the cue, _thrash her_. Alright?"

The girls nodded.

"Excellent. Now, Neptune, you're first."

"Alright! Let's go!" Neptune rushed forward towards Arfoire. When she stopped in front of her, Neptune swung her sword overhead with her right hand, ending up tilted forward off balance and standing on her toes.

"You're not a skilled swordsman, are you Neptune?" Jacob commented.

"Hush!" Neptune followed up her attack by spinning left with her sword then right and then she slashed diagonally twice before doing it all again. She then jumped back. "Compa, go!"

"Okay!" Compa fired her syringe four times in quick succession and then she fired another four times. "Iffy!"

"Right." IF ran up to Arfoire and slashed with her daggers while performing jumps and spins four times. She then did it again but this time only three times before getting back.

"Ending your turn already?" Arfoire taunted.

"No," IF answered. "Jacob?"

"_FIRE!_"

Before Arfoire could respond, she was suddenly engulfed in the red energy from Jacob's gloves and she was also repeated pelted by bullets that would not stop hitting. "Gah! What is this? You can't do this!"

"Yeah, we kind of gave up on that stupid arbitrary tripe in our first dungeon." Jacob didn't move as he kept his mega laser up. "Neptune, transform. I don't know how much longer we can keep her in my attack. My arms are getting a bit tingly."

"Righty-o!" Neptune aptly transformed into Purple Heart. "Now, Arfoire… the real battle begins."

Arfoire was silent for a bit before she burst out laughing. The girls were confused but Jacob wasn't; bad guys seemed to laugh a lot when confronted. He had yet to figure out why. "Oh, indeed it does! Get ready!"

At once, Arfoire charged forward at Jacob. "_Nnnnnnnnngh!_" It was obvious that Jacob's attack was hurting her but she disregarded it anyway. Jacob attempted to deliver a quick jab to her face when she got close but Jacob had no skill in the area of hand-to-hand combat so his punch was easily dodged. Arfoire decided that an appropriate counterattack would be to pierce him in the stomach.

"**ARGH!**" The spearhead went in quite a bit, especially after Arfoire raised the spear so that Jacob was hoisted into the air. She then shook him off the spear, allowing him to fall to the hard ground. Blood was pouring out of the cross-shaped wound in his stomach.

"JAKE!" Compa rushed towards Jacob but was intercepted by Arfoire, who attempted to slash Compa vertically. However, Arfoire was intercepted by Purple Heart.

"Compa, get to Jacob and treat his wounds now!" Purple Heart batted Arfoire away. "Iffy and I will take care of Arfoire!"

"R-Right!" Compa ran to Jacob and knelt down beside him. "Jake, are you okay?" she asked as she rolled Jacob onto his back so that the blood would stop pouring out.

"Urgh..." Jacob could barely respond, his eyes were half closed and his skin was looking pale.

"Don't worry; you'll be okay!" Compa took out some gauze and began wrapping it around Jacob's torso.

Meanwhile, Purple Heart was keeping Arfoire at bay. She carried her gun in her left hand while wielding her sword in her right hand. "Mark my words; you _will _pay for that." Purple Heart tried an overhead slash, which was blocked, but she then followed up with a shot to Arfoire's stomach. It didn't kill her- main antagonists were incredibly resistant to that kind of thing- but it did distract Arfoire long enough for Purple Heart to elbow her across the face. This attack was followed up by a snap kick to Arfoire's stomach, which sent the witch flying back.

"Not bad, Neptune," said Arfoire as she rotated her head. "I underestimated you. I guess I should stop holding-"

That was as far as she got before IF slashed her back with her daggers. Arfoire quickly span around with her spear, hoping to behead her sneak attacker, but IF ducked and punched both of her daggers forward towards Arfoire's stomach. Arfoire jumped back into the air to dodge and she remained floating. "You can fly, too?" IF asked, incredulous.

"That's right!" Arfoire pointed her spear at IF and was about to fire about six homing balls of red energy at her before Purple Heart rushed up to her, forced her spear upwards and kneed her in her right side. Arfoire, understandably, was peeved. "Get _away!_" Arfoire summoned all her strength to push Purple Heart away and then proceeded to rise into the air out of IF's melee range. She charged at Purple Heart like a bull but Purple Heart moved to the side, causing Arfoire to keep moving. The witch snarled and rotated around to fire six fireballs at Purple Heart, who dodged three of the energy balls, was grazed on different limbs by two and was impacted on the chest by one. Individually, the attacks didn't do much damage so she was fine.

Arfoire flew forward and engaged Purple Heart in close combat, using sword techniques and the occasional thrust with her spear. IF helped out Purple Heart by firing at Arfoire. As time passed, it was clear that Arfoire couldn't block IF's bullets and Purple Heart's techniques at the same time so Purple Heart overwhelmed Arfoire, cultivating in the with being sent flying into the wall.

"Damn it all…" she panted as she stood up. "You don't even look like you exercise, so why?" Arfoire then had a realisation. "Tch, that's right… this is Planeptune…! It's your home turf, Neptune. But it won't be like this next time… Don't forget my words!"

"Wait!" Purple Heart could not stop Arfoire from disappearing, leaving the party in the dungeon. IF and Purple Heart rushed towards Jacob. "Compa, how is he?" the CPU asked.

"He's fine." Compa stood up from Jacob's body. One could see tears leaking from his eyes. "The gauze should keep him from bleeding out. I just gave him a bottle of reflex to help speed his healing along but I don't want to give him any more in case his wounds don't heal right." Compa looked at IF and Purple Heart. "He still needs to go to a hospital, though. His wounds are severe and need stitching, which I'm not qualified to do. Nep-Nep, can you carry him, please?"

"Certainly." Purple Heart picked Jacob up bridal style and flew to the exit. "Jacob?" she whispered. "Can you hear me?"

"Nep… une…" Jacob mumbled as he looked at Purple Heart. "Help… m…"

"Jacob, trust me when I say everything will be okay. We'll get you to a hospital and you'll be right as rain. Okay?"

Jacob groaned something unintelligible.

* * *

><p><strong>Ow. Well, that was definitely not pleasant.<strong>

**If there's one thing I wanted to get across at this point, it's that a bunch of fancy toys won't help you when your opponent is powerful. Contrary to what most anime believe, power is not something you can wear like a hat; power is something that you ****_are_****. Jacob may have good equipment but he's still horribly inexperienced and hopelessly outmatched when faced with a CPU or most high-level enemies. Likewise, Neptune may be physically adept but her swordsmanship is unrefined and she would benefit greatly from a teacher. I believe an analogy is in order: a well-trained soldier armed with absolutely nothing and equally armoured can take on a heavily armoured new recruit armed with an assault rifle and still most likely win.**

**I don't know when the next chapter will be. Again, be pessimistic. I think it's healthier that way. After all, if a chapter comes in early, then great. If it's years late, then you've lost nothing.**

**Oh, yeah. Thank you all very much for the reviews. It makes me very proud of my work. :D Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome.**

**P.S: If anyone has any problems with Jacob getting all the cool stuff, I would like to tell you that Neptune gets a lightsaber later. If that doesn't help, I promise that I'll give the other girls upgrades too. I was planning to, anyway.**


	7. Recovery Point

**Wow. I wasn't actually expecting this. At all. I mean, uni and all that. Anyway, questions:**

**Xetsura: Thank you and he won't. Jacob, in this story, is going to have to work for his fighting prowess. He does not have any demons in him, he is not going to be a Chosen One, he isn't some lost prince, he hasn't had his genes experimented on when he was a baby, he hasn't been exposed to nuclear radiation, he isn't going to have any special tricks that let him learn stuff quickly, he doesn't have some sacred jewel embedded in his body and Destiny most certainly does not have any grand plans for him. Hard work is what's going to make him strong, not some birth right.**

**godofmadness43: I know but I felt it would be good for character development.**

**Eisenfaust: Thank you, thank you, thank you, possibly, how do you think it would have gone, too true, yes and no in that order and here it is.**

**MegaRaziel: I figured that I should give him something with a bit of bang. I mean, he can barely hit enemies with his hands; he needed SOMETHING, otherwise the story would be boring as hell with him in it. By "feedback", I believe you mean an adverse side effect. There is but it's long term and takes a bit to settle in so don't expect it to come in in this fanfic at least. He can't keep the energy in his fist lest he wreck his gloves with the laser or reduce his hand to a fine paste with the ball. He will get stronger, don't you worry. By the way, he's a tactician and a cheater. Why be one when you can be both?**

**Here's the next chapter. Not much happens in it but I think it's better than just leaving it with the last chapter.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7: Recovery Point<strong>

It took the better part of twenty minutes for the party to get to the nearest hospital. Purple Heart turned back into Neptune before entering so as to not raise a fuss. The party walked to the counter with Jacob being carried by Compa.

"Excuse me!" Compa said to the silhouette man behind the counter. "Our friend needs help! He was stabbed by a giant spear-lance thingy!"

"A giant spear-lance thingy?" the man responded. "Well, that's a nice change of pace from the Jaki clubs, the Dogoo tackles, the Imp tackles, the Killer Rabbit wounds and, lest we forget, those blasted Sand Worm victims. Was the weapon altered in any way?"

"No sir," Compa answered. "The spear was just a spear. Or a lance. It was hard to tell. Anyway, he has a massive cross-shaped wound in his stomach and he needs proper medical attention right away."

"I see. And you thought it would be a good idea to just carry him in rather than, say, call for an ambulance to pick him up when you got back from the dungeon?"

Compa didn't have a response to that. She tried to find one, but she could only stammer. Fortunately, IF was there. "No, it didn't occur to us to call you. Now, can we please get a doctor?"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Let me check our rooms…" The man looked at his computer, "… and you're in luck; 217- that's floor 2, room 17, by the way- is open and ready to accept a patient. Take him up there and I'll get Dr Askie to meet you there."

Jacob groaned something vaguely non-intelligible.

"Did he just say something?" The man asked.

"Call me crazy but I think he just said "Lame"," answered IF.

"I thought he was unconscious?" asked Neptune.

"Well, that's rude. We have a spare room and everything. The least he can do is not whine about it. Anyway, get going; his wound's not going to close on its own. Not while he's alive, anyway."

"Okay. Thank you, Mister!" Compa walked off with the party towards the stairs.

The man pressed a button on his desk and spoke into the microphone. "Will Dr Askie please go to Room 217? A patient is headed there and requires treatment."

* * *

><p>The party ventured up the stairs to the second floor and began to look around to find their room. "207, 209, 211…" Neptune stopped counting when she saw a silhouette of a doctor three rooms ahead. "Hey! Are you Dr Askie?" she asked as the party briskly walked to Room 217.<p>

"Yes, I am," she responded before towards to Compa. "Is that the patient you're carrying?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Compa. "He got stabbed in the stomach by a large spear-lance thing. I've managed to stop the bleeding but he needs professional help."

"I see…" Askie… well, the girls thought she looked at Compa with interest. Again, it's hard to tell. "Have you done this kind of thing before?"

"I'm an apprentice nurse. I was in school before it closed due to the monster attacks, so I have some medical knowledge."

Dr Askie thought for a bit. "Okay then, could you come in here with me? I may need your help with this."

Compa nodded before turning to IF and Neptune. "I'm sorry but you'll have to stay out of the room. Only authorised people are allowed in, sorry."

"We understand," said IF. "Neptune and I will go downstairs and talk about the fees with the guy."

Compa froze and her skin turned a bit pale. "F-fees?"

"… yeah? Health care isn't free, you know," IF explained.

"Y-yeah, it's just… it's kind of expensive in Planeptune." Compa rubbed the back of her head. It was rather clear that she would rather be anywhere else but here at that moment.

IF sighed. "How expensive is it?"

Compa gulped and whispered into IF's ear.

IF's eyes widened and she also turned a bit pale. "W-well… that… might be problematic."

"What's wrong?" asked Dr Askie. "Let me guess; his insurance doesn't cover it?"

Compa and IF didn't respond.

Askie smiled. "Well, don't worry about it. This happens a lot more often than you think; we'll find a way through."

"Um…" Compa spoke up. "He… doesn't have insurance to begin with."

"… oh." Askie rubbed her forehead. "Well, that's… gonna be a problem." She sighed. "Look, I may be able to pull some strings. Still, don't expect miracles."

"'Scuse me," Neptune interrupted. "Does Purple Heart get free healthcare?"

"Purple Heart?" Askie was confused. "Well, yeah. She's the goddess and all. Her word's basically law. Why do you-" She paused before groaning. "Let me guess; this guy's her assistant?"

Neptune decided to transform into Purple Heart. "Pretty much. By the way, can I get a checkup? I have amnesia and I'd like to have that looked at, if possible."

Askie didn't respond.

"… excuse me?"

Still no response.

"I think you stunned her silent, Nep-Nep," remarked Compa. "Um, Dr Askie?"

"H-huh?" The doctor finally snapped back to reality. "Oh- uh- sorry, I was just… caught off guard…"

"Don't worry, that's normal," said Purple Heart. "Now, about-"

"Oh, yeah, the fees." Dr Askie thought for a moment. "Well… how do I know you're really Lady Purple Heart? I mean, you could be an imposter for all I know."

"What about the part where she just transformed right in front of you?" said IF. "I'm pretty sure regular people can't do that."

"Yeah, but…" Askie sighed. "Look, I believe you. I don't think anyone else can transform like that."

"Also, I have my own hammerspace." Purple Heart reached behind her and took a sword- the one she bought at the shop- out of nowhere.

Askie clapped her hands together. "Well, I'm convinced if I wasn't before. But that's not the problem; I can't just tell my superiors that some random girl that comes out of nowhere and says that she's Lady Purple Heart and I had to give her free treatment. I mean, who's going to believe that without proof?"

"So you just need proof?" asked IF. "Well, why don't we just have Purple Heart write her signature on a letter saying "Hey, here's my charge, patch him up ASAP" and go from there?"

"That would work but you'd need Lady Purple Heart's emblem."

"Um, out of curiosity, do you mean that N thing on Nep-Nep's back?" Compa said, turning Purple Heart around with a free hand to show IF and Dr Askie the N symbol on her back.

"… yes, that's pretty much it," confirmed Askie. "In fact, I think that pretty much seals the deal being on her clothes. Never mind the letter; the guy gets free treatment."

"Yay!" cheered Compa.

"Okay," began IF as she turned to Purple Heart, "let's not waste any more time on stuff no one cares about and go "pay" the bill."

"Okay then." Purple Heart followed IF down the stairs.

"Apprentice nurse, if you will?" said Askie as she walked into the room.

"Of course." Compa carried Jacob into the room.

* * *

><p>About half an hour later, Compa was outside the room when IF came up the stairs. To say she looked fine would be an outright lie; she was tugging on her coat, frustrated at it for some reason, her hair was dishevelled and the bow on her ponytail was barely hanging on. "IF, are you okay?" Compa asked, concerned.<p>

"Funny you ask; it took me half an hour to get out the mob that formed as soon as Nep got downstairs as Purple Heart. We got separated ten minutes ago and I thought my best option would be to get back up here and hope she follows." IF brushed her sleeve.

Compa gasped. "Nep-Nep is down there all alone? We have to help her!"

"Don't worry, she'll be fine," reassured IF as she stopped Compa from running down the stairs. "She'll get back here, somehow. This is supposed to be funny so the worst that'll happen is that she'll have messy hair."

Compa nodded slowly. "I… I think I get it. Okay then."

Dr Askie came out of the room. "Hey, um…"

"IF."

"IF, right. Hey, I've patched up your friend... where's Purple Heart?"

"Mob downstairs. She'll be fine."

"… okay. Anyway, your friend's fine. Bleeding's stopped, stitches are in and he just needs to recover."

IF sighed. "Well, that's one thing out of the way. How long will it take him to get back on his feet?"

"Probably until tomorrow morning, if that."

"He heals that quickly?" Compa asked in surprise.

"Hell no," answered Askie. "He got stabbed in the stomach with a massive bladed weapon. Normally, he'd be there for months at least. Thank the Goddess that we have Reflex, Dextonin and Gelatin to speed things along."

"… that makes sense, I guess," said IF.

Just then, Neptune- no longer transformed, mind you- came up the stairs, heaving and panting. "If…fy…" She took a deep breath. "Why… did you… leave me…?"

"They would've flattened me otherwise. Anyway, they wanted you, not me. I was pretty safe. How'd you get out of there?"

"De… transformed… lost them… got here…" She took another deep breath. "I think we'll stick to writing the letter…"

"Good idea," said Askie. "I'm actually surprised you were mobbed like that, though. I mean, if I didn't recognise you as the Goddess, why did they?"

"They didn't," answered IF as she helped Neptune with her hair clips. "They just thought she looked hot."

"… oh. But why would the girls mob her?"

"As I said; hot."

Dr Askie paused for a moment before rubbing her head. "This is a weird world… anyway, I'm gonna monitor… what's his name again?"

"Jacob," Neptune and IF responded in unison as Compa said "Jake."

"Righto. Anyway, I'll take another look at him. Go ahead and write the letter on this," she gave them a white piece of paper from her notepad, "and I'll tell you if anything happens."

After a few minutes, Neptune kissed the piece of paper. "Mwuah! It's a masterpiece!"

"We would've finished faster if you didn't eat the first letter," IF grumbled. "It's a good thing Compa keeps paper on her at all times… for some reason."

Compa tapped her fingers together. "Sometimes, I like to draw."

"Good enough. Now, let's just give this letter to Dr Askie and she can hand it to her superiors."

Speaking of Askie, she just came out of the room again. "Jacob's conscious."

This surprised the girls. "What?"

"He's awake. You want to ta-" Before she could finish, Neptune ran into the room.

She quickly pulled up a seat beside Jacob's bed. He was wearing a violet patient gown and he looked very tired in his bed. "Jacob! How are ya?"

He groaned a bit. "Well, my stomach hurts like hell, I feel really drowsy and I'm really hungry…" He yawned. "Other than that, I feel like I'm about to die. You?"

"Don't say that!" Neptune leaned forward as IF and Compa entered the room. "I… I was so scared… I thought-"

"Neptune…" Jacob stopped her. "What's done is done. I am okay now, except for the whole stomach thing. Let's not angst over it."

"That's as good an attitude as anything else," said IF. "The doctor said you should be okay by tomorrow morning."

"Well, that's swell. Saves me the trouble of finding a new bed…" He chuckled. "I'd hate to sleep on the sofa again." Jacob noticed that Neptune wasn't looking at him. She seemed to have an avid interest in her shoes. Or the base of the hospital bed. Hard to tell when you didn't want to move your neck, lest you break a stitch or something. "Neptune, what's wrong?"

"Jacob…" she began, "are you going to be okay?"

"I think I'll leave now," Dr Askie said to Compa. "Give me the letter and I'll run it by the Chief."

"Oh, okay." Compa gave Askie the letter. Askie nodded before walking out the door.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. IF said that I'll be out of here by tomorrow morning, right? Then we can go to the next landmass and be on our way."

"Actually," IF interjected, "Lastation, the closest landmass, will be here in about five days. You've got plenty of time."

Jacob smiled. "Well, that's a relief."

"Hey, Jake?" Compa stepped forward. "How do you feel about that fight?"

"You know…" he started, "… it didn't occur to me before then that I could actually… wind up in a hospital because of this. I mean, I did okay against the Sand Worm…"

"It's only going to get harder from here," stated IF. "You think you can take it?"

Jacob exhaled through his nose. "Back where I came from, we don't go on adventures or fight. We do have some dangerous animals but we have places where humans go and where animals go. They don't cross over much. Anyway, we get through life through money and jobs that don't involve violence. It's pretty good, especially as I'm not out of school yet and I can spend most of my time playing video games and eating and… playing Connect 4 with my dad and…"

The silence was broken by Compa. "You can say it. We won't blame you."

Jacob sighed. He looked out the window and then closed his eyes. "… I want to go home."

Compa gave him a hug. "I know."

Jacob returned the hug. "Thanks."

"Don't worry, Jacob!" Neptune said with a bicep polishing gesture. "We'll do this main story quest and I'll get my memories back and I'll remember where I fell and we can take you home! It'll be easy as cake!"

Jacob chuckled. "Thanks, Neptune." He looked at IF and Compa. "And thank you two, as well. Thanks for being able to put up with us."

"Don't worry about it," said Compa. "You and Neptune are nice. Besides, this is fun."

"Same here, I guess," IF commented. "Anyway, if I leave this up to you three, the world's doomed. You need someone to keep you in line."

"Much appreciated," replied Jacob.

"Anyway," IF turned to Neptune and Compa, "I think we should leave Jacob alone for the rest of the day and find a place to rest."

"We can go to my house," said Compa. "It's not too far away."

"Sounds like a plan. Let's go. See ya tomorrow, Jacob." IF walked out the door.

"Bye!" Compa followed.

Neptune walked up to the side of Jacob's bed and gave him a hug. "Tomorrow, we're gonna have so much fun! Hope you get better."

Jacob returned the hug. "Thanks. I will."

Neptune pulled away. "See ya later, alligator!" And she left.

Jacob threw his head back. "Finally, some peace and quiet…" he said with a smile.

* * *

><p>Neptune, Compa and IF came back to the hospital tomorrow morning. It wasn't much different but the person at the desk seemed a bit surprised by their return and kept their eyes away. The girls didn't pay it much mind, though; they proceeded upstairs to Jacob's room. They entered only to find him asleep.<p>

"Aw!" Neptune grumbled. "I was hoping we could just pick him up and go like a party character in the middle of town."

"Neptune, he's not some robot; he needs rest," IF chastised. "Although, I would think he'd be up by now."

"He said something about body clocks when I woke him up yesterday," said Compa.

IF raised an eyebrow. "Really? Maybe we should wake him up, then, to get him settled into Gamindustri's day/night cycle." She walked over to Jacob. "Hey, Jacob! Wake up!"

He didn't respond. IF tried tugging his ear. "Wake up!"

His head fell to the other side. IF snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Jacob! Up! Now!"

He made an indistinguishable noise. "What was that?" Compa asked.

"Hell if I know. Neptune, find a plastic cup somewhere and fill it up with water."

"Okey dokey!" Neptune walked off and returned moments later with a plastic cup filled with water. "Got it. What do you want with it?"

IF took the cup from Neptune's hand-

"Hey-"

- and spilled it onto Jacob's face. Predictably, he woke up very quickly.

"What the _hell _was that?" he shouted.

"Sorry, but it was ten o'clock and we needed to wake you up," reasoned IF.

"Did I really have to get up that early?" Jacob groaned as he got himself upright in the bed.

"Yes," IF replied. "Compa told me that your body clock hasn't adjusted to Gamindustri yet so I'm helping to speed that along."

Jacob looked at her with an expression that indicated that he was very grouchy in addition to wanting to ask a question. "Does that even work?"

IF shrugged. "Couldn't hurt to try."

Just then, Dr Askie came in the door. "I thought I saw you three in here. Hey girls," she greeted.

"Hello Dr Askie," responded Compa in kind. "We're just here to pick up Jacob. Is he good to go?"

"His body's pretty much fully healed, so I don't see why he wouldn't be. Make sure to come downstairs and sign the discharge forms. Jacob, your clothes are in your bathroom. Make sure to get changed before leaving and please leave the gown at the front desk."

Jacob nodded as he got up from the bed. "I'll do that now. Thanks." He walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

"See you all later." Dr Askie left the room.

"Yes!" Neptune pumped her fist. "We can go and have adventures again!"

"Don't forget that Lastation is still five days away," reminded IF.

Neptune hung her head. "Aw… what are we gonna do in the mean time?"

"Well," began IF, "there are a bunch of jobs lying around that we can do. One of them's from ZECA, something about blue shadows attacking their trucks. I've already signed us up for it."

"Eh, better than nothing, I guess," said Neptune.

Jacob stepped out of the bathroom, wearing his hoodie jacket, white socks, black sneakers, grey shirt and black long shorts. His shirt had a cross-shaped stitch in the middle of it. "Hey girls, what are we doing now?"

* * *

><p>"Seriously?" Jacob looked around at the black factory setting of this new dungeon. Green lights were infrequent and sporadic and there were these weird massive black things on the walls that functioned like support beams even though they weren't actually necessary. Said massive black things also had a purple lantern thingamajig levitating above the bottom of their slopes… describing these settings is really annoying. Anyway, Jacob called this place Weird Sci-Fi Place #1. "I mean, seriously? We went through what could vaguely be called character development after a boss fight like Arfoire and we're going to dungeons again? I know this is a JRPG and all that but they're kind of getting old."<p>

"Could be worse," said IF while playing a game on her phone.

"How?" asked Jacob.

"We could be doing some arbitrary and time-consuming puzzle that doesn't even give you EXP."

"Fair enough, I guess. So- oh, here we go." Three Pixelvaders appeared in front of the party. Jacob blasted them with a two-handed laser blast almost immediately, leaving them tired, fatigued and hurt. "Finish 'em off."

"'Kay." IF, Neptune and Compa shot at the weakened monsters and brought them down. "You were saying, Jacob?" IF inquired.

"Righto. So, we're looking for some blue shadow or whatever?"

"Pretty much." IF shot a Dogoo that tried to sneak up on the party.

"You know, I think the monsters are getting wiser to our rule breaking," commented Compa.

"Now that you mention it," Jacob blasted an overly ambitious Pixelvader with a force orb. It wasn't a direct hit but it knocked the monster off balance, allowing Neptune to shoot it to death, "they're trying to ambush us or take us down quickly."

"Ooh, I wonder that the boss is like?" Neptune pondered. "Maybe it's hiding right above the doorway, waiting for foolish adventurers to walk in beneath it and feast on their deliciously fleshy flesh!"

"Thanks, Neptune. You have, by complete accident, warned us of a possible ambush. It wouldn't have occurred to us otherwise to look up. Thank you very much." Jacob looked up.

"I get the impression Neptune's ability to succeed in something is inversely proportional to how much she's trying to succeed at it," said IF.

"Multiplied by the square of the relevancy of what she's talking about to the topic at hand," continued Jacob.

"Hey, Jacob? Why don't you fly?" Compa asked. "It's pretty big and spacy in here; I'm sure you could get some practice here."

Jacob blinked. "That makes sense." Jacob activated his jet pack and hovered in the air. "Alright, let's see if I can learn anything new from this."

The party progressed through the dungeon. Jacob was practicing above them and he began hovering left and right, forward and back and up and down much faster. He still wasn't doing any hardcore flying, though.

"I wish I had someone to practice with, maybe an archer or someone to give me something to dodge. You know, make me actually develop."

"Maybe we'll find one in town," Compa replied.

"Shh," shhed IF. "We're at the boss chamber. I guess."

Jacob flew down to walk with the group through the door gap into the next room where the boss awaited. Without hesitation, Jacob fired a big red laser above them. This surprised Neptune and Compa to a great extent. "Jake, is there a monster?" Compa asked, trying to steady her hold on her syringe.

"No." Jacob took to the air again. "I was just making sure. Let's go."

The room was surprisingly big; the platform they were standing on branched off forward and to the sides where it then formed into a U-shape. It was the kind of arrangement you'd see where scientists would hold notepads and walk around the torso of a giant mecha. Directly ahead was a ramp leading upwards onto a small platform where the head scientist would be looking at the mecha through glasses that shined white to indicate that he or she was evil. Jacob hovered around while the girls walked up the ramp. The small platform had two large purple dome-shaped lights in it.

The lights almost went unnoticed due to the massive blue wolf directly ahead of the girls. It was huge and bulky; a fighter, not a runner. Its snout looked a bit like that of a European dragon's, its claws were absolutely massive and looked artificial and medieval and it had a very prominent spine. Its hind legs had crescent blades on the back of them for… some reason. It didn't look so much like a wolf as it did a blue quadpedal wingless dragon.

"Pelt away or attack?" Jacob asked.

"I'm impatient; let's just whack it to pieces!" Neptune ran forward with her sword and slashed at Blue Shadow's throat.

"Fine by me." Jacob unleashed a massive red laser at the wolf. Unfortunately, Neptune was engulfed as well. "Ah! Sorry!" Jacob apologised as he stopped his attack.

"Jacob!" Neptune shouted at him. "What the hell was- AH!" The Blue Shadow took advantage of Neptune's distraction and slashed at her midsection. Neptune clutched her would with her left arm. "Crackers…"

"Don't worry, Nep-Nep! I'm here!" Compa rushed to Neptune with Reflex in hand. "Miss IF!"

"You don't need to call me Miss!" IF rushed up at the beast with her katara and slashed away while dodging and parrying any attacks the beast made. While she wasn't the strongest fighter, she was definitely the most agile. "Hey, Jacob!" IF called. "Stop using that laser thing! It's too risky and it doesn't really work on single targets! Just use those energy balls!"

"I know that!" Jacob called back. "I just don't use them because the recoil makes them hard to aim!"

"Well-" IF sidestepped a downward slash and countered with a stab to the throat- "get used to it! That's your weapon now! I know you're inexperienced but that's not gonna solve itself- WHOA!" IF narrowly dodged a horizontal slash. It was quickly followed by another downward strike that IF left herself completely open to but it was interrupted by a gunshot from Neptune. "Thanks, Neptune!"

"Anytime, anyplace!" Neptune entered the fray again and attacked the Blue Shadow while Compa provided support fire.

IF looked back at Jacob. "Anyway, you're not going to get better at aiming those energy balls by not using them! By all rights, you should because that's normally what happens here but that's not important! Practice makes perfect!"

Jacob took this all in and floated silently. "Of course…" he said, smiling while covering his face with his hand. "I knew that. I just forgot." He then held his right forearm with his left hand and fired an energy ball at the wolf. It hit it dead centre but Jacob's arm moved back. Regardless, he straightened up and fired again. "Take this!"

The combined continued assault of Neptune, Compa and Jacob soon brought the monster down and reduced it to data. "Mission accomplished!" Neptune cheered. "I hope we get an S rank for this!"

"Wait; we get ranked for this?" Jacob asked upon touching ground.

"Yeah," IF answered, sheathing her kataras. "Depending on how quickly we complete the mission, we get a different rank. Normally, under ten minutes gets you an S rank."

"Oh, well, then we probably aced this," said Jacob. "What do we get?"

"More money," IF replied simply.

"… alright then." The party then walked back through Weird Sci-Fi Place #1 to go back to town. "I find that a bit weird, myself. I mean, why are they timing us? We're getting rid of their monsters so why do they feel the need to make it a challenge?"

"Just put it down to Gamindustri tradition and leave it at that," IF responded.

"... cop out. So what do we do now for the other five days?"

IF opened her phone. "We take on more jobs and just wander around and shop for a bit. When Lastation comes around, that's when we go."

Compa was optimistic. "Well, at least we can get more experience and you can get better with your gloves, Jake."

"Yeah!" Neptune certainly agreed. "We'll be able to steamroll over our enemies like no one's business! We'll finish this in no time flat!" A pause. "And I meant that pun by the way! I didn't just realise it then, no sir! I'm just that clever!"

"Sure you are." Jacob didn't look back at her. "Well, I guess the practice will be useful. I hope this won't be as boring as the hospital."

Compa raised an eyebrow. "Didn't they have TV in there?"

"Yeah, but it was just soap operas over and over… apparently, adrenaline is bad for patients or whatever. Anyway, I watched one of the things and, by _God_, was I bored. You see…"

Thus ended another day in Jacob's life on Gamindustri. Wait, that's wrong; it's still just noon. Well, thus ended another chapter of Jacob's life on Gamindustri. Much better.

* * *

><p><strong>By the by, I looked it up and Wikipedia says that IF's weapons are called "katara" (look it up). I'm still not entirely sure if this is right or not and I lack credible sources to check. Still, I'm going to go with katara rather than qatar (which is a <em>region<em>).**

**Also, uni's finally picking up speed so, truly this time, do NOT expect a new chapter for a long while.**

**Also, if you could tell your friends about this fanfic, that'd be great.**


	8. Five Day Skip: To Lastation

**I am, once again, surprised at my ability to get this up here. Anyway, comment time.**

**Eisenfaust: Not really "train" but more like "practice". Anyway, here it is.**

**DMAsh: She'll probably get mobbed, and not in a good way. She's the goddess of _Planeptune_, after all. She wouldn't exactly be welcome on the other landmasses. Also, thankyouthankyouthankyou. Also also, who's Education Kitty?**

**godofmadness43: Glad you think that.**

**EDIT: Oh yeah, forgot to mention: Soren Fujou of Hyperdimensional Infinite Neptunia is making a cameo in this chapter. Do not expect him to come back, though.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8: Five Day Skip - To Lastation<strong>

Five days had passed since the Blue Shadow sidequest. The party spent most of their time doing other sidequests and things but you won't find chapters of them doing that because they would be boring. Anyway, IF and Jacob were walking from the supermarket carrying reusable shopping bags to the Sky Harbor where Neptune and Compa were waiting for them.

"You know," IF began, "I didn't really think you were the kind for green apples. You're kind of pudgy... well, just a bit, anyway, so I figured you'd go for the chips and chocolate. Not that we don't have those but it was unexpected for you not to be the one to go for them at first."

Jacob sighed. "I'm trying to better my diet. Besides, we're going on a long trip. I want something that sustains me and is actually of benefit, not something transient like chips and chocolate."

"Fair enough, I guess." IF shifted her shoulders. "Tch… these bags are heavy."

"Thank goodness these gauntlets increase my arm strength. I can't really feel the weight. I'd offer to carry yours, IF, but I don't really have the room."

"That's alright. I understand."

"Are we there yet, by the way?" Jacob asked.

"Funny you should ask; we're here now."

True enough, Jacob and IF had arrived at the Sky Harbor where Compa and Neptune were waiting for them. The Sky Harbor portal (Jacob couldn't find a better word for it) was a bit too ornate and detailed for Jacob's taste; he preferred practicality to aesthetic. The portal seemed to be a massive grey arch made of stone and it had a massive crest at the top shaped like a sword from a JRPG. On each side of the portal was a bar fence with sets of two posts splaced evenly along it. The two posts looked like tall lances beside a smaller lance half their size and with yellow tips. The portal had a gate that looked like two doors that you'd find at the entrance to a bar in a Western movie except they were long, yellow and they didn't have those grate things. There were also three floating golden halos around the sword-crest. Leading to and through the portal was a lavender-coloured path that ended right after the portal, which made sense; this was the edge of Planeptune, after all.

Neptune was, predictably, hanging onto the top of the fence, peering over excitedly. "Ooh, look! The ground is split here!" she shouted. "Did this happen during some great war long, long ago? I betcha it was a totally crazy, epic war between some profound sort of darkness and a really great light!"

"… What's she babbling about?" IF asked.

"I'm sorry," apologised Compa. "Please be patient with her. She really doesn't remember anything… I think."

"She doesn't," said Jacob. "Characters who start out with amnesia- Neptune, get down from there!" Jacob activated his jetpack and flew over to Neptune after he dropped the shopping bags. She was trying to climb over the fence to the other side. Unfortunately, the other side didn't exist and all she'd do was fall god knows how far into clouds.

"He's gotten better with that, hasn't he?" Compa commented as she picked up the shopping bags.

"Eh, not so much." IF shrugged. "He can lean forward from take-off but he's still too scared to fly very fast. By the way," IF turned to Compa, "I've been meaning to ask; how long have you known Neptune and Jacob?"

"A few days now, starting from the night before we met you. I found Nep-Nep stuck in the ground with Jake next to her, so I pulled Nep-Nep out and treated their wounds."

IF was perplexed. "S-stuck in the ground? How? And how did Jacob survive? Neptune's a goddess but he's just a human."

"Nep-Nep fell pretty quickly and she was stuck in the ground like a carrot. I think Jacob landed on top of her, which probably broke his fall, Miss IF."

"…" IF applied her palm to her forehead after placing the shopping bag down. "That makes absolutely no sense but I don't really care. By the way, you don't have to call me 'Miss'. Just IF will be fine."

"Iffy, Compa, hurry up!" Neptune shouted, thankfully down from the fence. "The view is so stupendous from here. You two scared? Hah, I bet you are. I'm so brave!"

"More likely too dumb to live. Don't do that again," Jacob said sternly.

Compa and IF came over. "Nep-Nep, Jake's right; climbing the fence is dangerous! Don't do it."

"Aw." Neptune crossed her arms and pouted. "You guys are party poopers."

"Hey, I don't want you do die," Jacob said.

Neptune raised an eyebrow. "Really…?"

"Really."

"… Really, really?"

"Yes!" Jacob said impatiently. "What are you getting at?"

"Okay, okay, geez!" Neptune stayed silent for a bit. "… So-"

"Anyway," interrupted Compa, "thank you for the shopping, Jake and Miss IF."

"I told you, call me IF."

"But why didn't you just put the shopping in Jake's disc?" Compa asked.

"Oh," Jacob began to answer, "I figured that it'd be better if you held onto the supplies rather than me. I'm kind of forgetful and I'm worried that we'll die of starvation because I forgot that we had stuff leftover."

"That's what he told me when we talked about it," said IF.

Compa nodded. "I see. Okay then." One by one, she put the shopping bags into her disc.

Neptune was still gazing out into the distance. "Wow, this is the best view ever! Sky Harbors are awesome!"

Jacob looked out into the distance as well. He wouldn't deny it; while it was nothing more than a bunch of clouds with Lastation off in the distance, he'd never seen anything like a bunch of nothing over the edge of a floating country. Or continent. Whatever this was.

"Nep-Nep, this is the Sky Harbor area, where two landmasses come in contact with one another," explained Compa. "It doesn't really mean the ground is split."

"Oh, I see. So how do I cross over? Should I jump? Should I shout 'wahoo!' as I do it?"

"Why not slap on some overalls and a red hat while you're at it?" IF jokingly asked.

"Lame," droned Jacob.

"Shut up." IF turned back to Neptune. "Actually, we use a bridge to cross over. We needed the Basilicom's permit to get the bridge lowered. Now we can use it anytime."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, _whoa_." Jacob emphasised his 'whoa's by pressing his hands forward on each one in a stopping motion. "Stop right there. Did you just say you connect the landmasses with _bridges_?"

"… yeah? Why, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. Just the fact that landmasses only seem to be within seeing distance of each other for no more than twenty-four hours and they seem to be quite far away, and you get across by lowering bridges which must be quite large and weigh quite a bit to handle the kind of traffic that you would expect from intercontinental travel. Oh, yeah; there's also the fact that the bridges have to be _perfectly_ aligned and the Sky Harbors of _both_ landmasses have to be facing each other. So, the bridges have to be facing the right way, they need to be fitted quickly to each other and they need to do that and stay that way for less than 24 hours."

"… What are you saying, Jake?" Compa asked apprehensively.

"I'm saying that all the dead engineers that have worked on bridges in my world are _rolling in their bloody graves!_" Jacob's shout caused the girls to flinch a bit. "Bridges weigh tonnes and move very slowly! Giant floating continents cannot just turn around willy-nilly and anyone who tries to make them do that is a moron because that is very energy inefficient! Let's not forget that the landmasses move very quickly if they can disappear from sight in a single day! _How is this possible?_"

Compa raised her hands. "C-Calm down, Jake! Maybe we should just show you."

Jacob exhaled through his nose. "This had _better_ make sense."

The group walked through the golden gate-door things with Jacob still grumbling. All of a sudden, the party found themselves turned into fine blue data particles.

Then they drifted away.

* * *

><p>When Jacob regained awareness of his surroundings, he found himself, Neptune, Compa and IF in a brown cave. It was like Cave #1 but it had blue crystals and tinge instead of purple. This place was henceforth known as Cave #2.<p>

"… What just happened?" Jacob asked. "Why are we in a dungeon?"

"Jake," Compa began, "were you thinking of stone or wooden bridges? Because we don't use those."

"… Huh?"

"The goddesses did try that at one stage but they realised it wasn't a good idea, so Lady Purple Heart-"

"Hello!" shouted Neptune with cheer.

"- implemented Planeptune's advanced technology to make a different kind of bridge to link the landmasses. The other goddesses thought it was a good idea so they used it as well."

Jacob took a moment to take this all in. "Okay… So Planeptune uses super advanced technology that can do anything short of making God…"

"Uh-" Compa was about to speak but IF shook her head to signal 'no'.

Jacob sighed in relief. "Alright, I can buy that. What I don't get is why the landmasses are linked with dungeons? Can't we just teleport?"

IF explained the plot hole this time. "Apparently, the goddesses thought people would benefit from the exercise. One of the old books of the past quoted one of them saying 'Nothing like gaining a level to brighten up someone's day', or something around those lines."

"… Hold on." Jacob ran his hands through his hair and paced back and forth.

However, this set up a monster encounter with three Vorpals. They looked like they belonged in some sort of underwater dungeon, given that they had green backs with cyan underbellies, long fins complete with webbing acting as arms/wings and three spinal fins underneath them. They also had three yellow eyes, four bulb things where ears would hypothetically be and a tail with a bulb as a tip. It was only after beating them that Jacob began to wonder how they floated just off the ground.

"Be more careful next time!" IF told Jacob.

"Okay, I'm sorry! Anyway, where was I… oh yeah, dungeons." Jacob clapped his hands together. "You mean to tell me that, if people want to go to a different landmass, and I imagine they will if they don't like their current one, they have to go through a small, narrow tunnel that is full of things that want to kill them?"

"That's pretty much right," IF replied nonchalantly.

"What if the people can't fight?"

IF opened her mouth to speak but she then realised that she didn't have an appropriate answer to that question. "… I really don't know. But the monsters are low level."

"Ugh…" Jacob groaned and paced again.

Two Imps appeared. Again, they were easily taken care of. "Jacob, cut that out!" Neptune shouted.

"Jake, you should only move when you have to," scolded Compa.

"Oh, come on! It's not my bloody fault monster encounters are determined by steps walked rather than, say, _encountering the monster on the field first_! Are we in some sort of backwards HD remastering of some obscure JRPG from the fourth console generation? I thought we outgrew this crap around about the sixth!" Jacob ranted.

"What are you talking about?" IF asked, agitated due to Jacob being a monster magnet by virtue of not being able to stand still.

"Never mind; it's a video game thing from my world. Anyway, the landmasses are linked by tunnels of data that people walk through. Fair enough, even if just outright teleportation would be much better. What annoys me is that _regular people_ can walk through these things and _get killed_ because they're tourists! No wonder the monsters are killing everyone!" Jacob then turned to Neptune. "When we get your memories back and you can be a goddess again, you are going to fix this. Understand?"

"Gotcha! Leave it to me!" Neptune said confidently.

"Anyway, let's move forward." Jacob stepped forward and two Vorpals appeared. They, too, were ended quickly.

Neptune raised her finger. "Jacob-"

"_Shut up_."

* * *

><p>"I hate dungeons," groaned Jacob.<p>

"Aw, cheer up, Jacob!" Neptune gave him some rough slaps on the back, causing him to execute a backhand hit that she dodged by jumping back. "Hey! What'd you do that for?"

"I don't like being hit," he responded. "Gentle pats work just fine." Neptune gently patted him on the back. "Much better. Thanks."

"She is right, though," said IF. "We're finally here; Lastation, the Land of Black Regality."

Indeed, they had arrived. This place was much different from Planeptune; while it was indeed sci-fi, it had more of a feel of an industrial revolution with black, huge, egg-shaped power plant things virtually everywhere and with equal amounts of smoke. The clouds all around were dark.

"Wow!" Neptune seemed excited. "This place is all steampunky and spiffy and futuristic! Iffy, what landmass is this?"

"… You really don't know?" Jacob asked, incredulous. "I mean, we've been discussing travel plans to here for five days."

"Lastation, ruled by Console Patron Unit Black Heart," explained IF as if she was expecting this lapse in Neptune's memory. Either that or she didn't care. "The land is mostly obscured by industrial factories."

"So, um, does the 'theme' of each landmass match with that goddess' preference?" Neptune asked.

"I don't think so," answered IF. "The CPUs are here to protect us but humans develop the civilisation itself."

Neptune seemed bummed out by that answer. "Aw, that's so realistic."

"What is with you?" Jacob asked Neptune in disbelief. "Why do you keep looking at the world like it's just some storybook where you're the star?"

"Ah ha!" Neptune pointed sharply in Jacob's direction. He leaned back a bit. "That's where you're _right_! Because this _is_ a video game and I _am_ the star!"

Jacob groaned. "So much for that point…"

Neptune turned to Compa. "Compa, Jacob, what're your thoughts on this place?"

Compa looked around. She didn't seem very uncomfortable at all despite looking out of place. "These factories and chimneys… remind me of an industrial revolution. I'm not familiar with this kind of thing."

"I don't like this place." Jacob covered his nose and mouth with his hand. "It's too polluted here; Planeptune's much cleaner. It's like the first PS3 except one was dark, dirty, energy inefficient and oppressive in nature while the other was Lastation."

IF smiled. "I suppose it's not appealing to mainstream girls and Jacob's home isn't like this. I think it's cool. Anyway, let's go to the Basilicom."

"Why?" asked Jacob.

IF blinked. "To get information on monsters, you idiot."

"What are we going to do with that?"

"Are you brain dead?" IF shouted. "We're looking for Key Fragments which are guarded by strong monsters!"

"I know that but, as I've said before, we found the first one in a tuto-" Jacob stopped as he just had a realisation. "Hey, that's an idea; let's look up a tutorial dungeon on DungleMaps."

Compa was very surprised by this suggestion. "B-but that won't work, Jake! DungleMaps was a one-time joke so it won't work when we use it for serious reasons!"

"Well, that joke sucked and it got us onto the plot before you could even say Hyperdimension Neptunia. Blimey, that's long. Anyway, I'm willing to hedge my bets and give it a go. What's the worst that could happen?"

"B-But… but…" Compa quickly turned to Neptune, desperate to win this argument. "Nep-Nep, didn't Histoire say that the Key Fragments were guarded by strong monsters?"

"Yeah!" Neptune turned to Jacob. "And tutorial dungeons don't have strong monsters, Jake; they're tutorial dungeons!"

"Maybe Histoire was wrong?" Jacob proposed. "Hell, we're all prone to human error from time to time. Besides, we still got the first Key Fragment from a tutorial dungeon, which didn't have strong monsters." He turned to IF. "What do you think?"

IF crossed her arms and thought for a bit. "The logic's sound and I can't really fault it but… do you honestly think whoever developed this game would fumble at such a basic level?"

"God no. I'm very sure that we'll have to wander about for ten or so hours before the plot presents itself to us. Still, this is the only lead we have and I say we pursue it." Jacob faced the whole group. "All in favour please say 'aye'."

"… Aye-aye, Captain?" Neptune seemed unsure.

"Aye," said IF.

Compa looked very torn. "B-B-But…" She took a deep breath. "We're supposed to follow the plot! That's what we do as video game characters!" she shouted at the top of her voice, much to the surprise of her three companions. She then realised how out of character her action was and turned away.

"Compa…" Jacob began, looking as if he possibly found the missing piece to a particular puzzle, "are you hesitant to go along with my idea purely because, as a viideo game character, you feel obligated to do whatever the plot says no matter how stupid it sounds?"

Compa still had her back to her friends and didn't respond.

Jacob sighed. "So that's it." He walked up to Compa. "Compa, the world is in danger. At this point, following the plotted line is the least of anyone's priorities. If we don't find the Key Fragments soon enough, the entire world will be overrun with monsters."

Compa twitched. "That's why we should follow the plot. It's guaranteed to get us where we need to go."

"And where, precisely, does the plot lead?" Jacob crossed his arms. "We go to the Basilicom, get some monster info and just run around dungeons until we find something? Hate to tell you this, but that sounds a whole lot like what we're doing now. Not to mention the plot's not just going to drop in out of nowhere."

"'All good things come to those who wait'," Compa recited. "That's what my grandfather said to me."

"_Wrong!_" Jacob shouted, causing Compa to flinch. "Good things come to those who work hard and never give up! If something's not going your way, you make it go your way because it's not going to magically turn around and come back for you! If you don't have a door, make one. If you don't have any food, procure or prepare some. Doors and food will not appear in your lap by divine intervention for the same reason that the Key Fragments won't post where they are on their blogs for us. You don't let 'fate' decide anything; you take fate into your hands and make it dance for you."

None of the girls had a response to that.

"Right. Now, following the plot or not, we're still grasping at straws either way. In that event, I'd rather at least choose the path that's the most likely to have what we're looking for rather than make a gamble. So, what's it gonna be?"

"Aye aye!" cheered Neptune.

IF smirked. "Well, as you said, it's not like we have any better options. I'm in."

"… Okay." Compa turned around and looked up. "I'll follow."

"Splendid." Jacob turned to IF. "I don't suppose you can use your phone to find a tutorial dungeon?"

"Sure. Give me a moment." IF opened her phone and fiddled around with it. "And... there. Found one. Follow me."

* * *

><p>After a long walk and cable car ride, the party finally found themselves at a Factory #1 dungeon.<p>

"Hey, the layout looks almost exactly the same," Jacob noticed.

"These dungeons are artificial and filled with the weakest of monsters on purpose," IF explained. "Some people I know believe that they were made by the goddesses to prepare budding adventurers for dungeon crawls."

"Makes sense, I guess," Jacob said. "But why the goddesses would put the Key Fragments in tutorial dungeons is beyond me."

"What makes you think it wasn't Arfoire?" IF asked. "If anything, it makes the most sense; hide the Key Fragments in tutorial dungeons, let a bunch of oblivious newbies take them without knowing what they are and keep them permanently scattered because even she won't know where they are."

Jacob looked at IF, clearly impressed. "You are incredibly smart."

"Thanks," IF smiled. "I take a lot of pride in what I know."

Neptune was also amazed. "Oh, Iffy, you're beyond keen. How can you be so insightful at such a tender, young age?"

"I read a lot," IF replied simply with her usual stoic expression. "Anyway, let's get moving."

Jacob nodded. "Right."

The party walked through the dungeon and utterly annihilated the Pixelvaders and Dogoos that got in their way. Eventually, they reached the same T-shaped path where Neptune found her hammer. However, the treasure chest was already opened and emptied.

"Aw…" Neptune slumped. "I wanted another hammer."

"What would you use it for?" Jacob asked.

"Why, dual wielding, of course! Neptune, the Hammer Mistress!" Neptune's eyes suddenly got a bit sparkly. "I can see it now…"

"I can see broken bones and more missed pipes," Jacob remarked. "Anyway, what happened to dual wielding a gun and a sword?"

"Pish posh!" Neptune made a dismissive motion with her hand. "That's so last generation. Hammers are where it's at."

"Right." Jacob looked down the branching corridor. "Anyway, let's hope that whoever's been here hasn't taken the Key Fragment that may or may not be here."

"This is odd…" Compa said. "Normally, treasure chests are left unopened for the plot-important characters to take."

"That's true," IF responded. "Why on Earth is this chest open?"

"I think we should just go on," Jacob recommended. "No use just standing around."

IF nodded. "True."

The party advanced down the corridor, fully expecting to see everyone's favourite grated fence pounded into the ground. This is why they were surprised to see the thing standing up.

Something also worthy of note was that there was a teenage male standing by the fence with the hammer right next to him. Something even more worthy of note was that the male was not a silhouette, much to their surprise.

The teen looked to be about 17 years of age (for an anime male) and he had your average anime short navy blue hair. Jacob did not expect he would live to see the day where such a typical anime teen would wear a white dress shirt with a red tie, black jeans, a green survival vest and a pair of sunglasses. But the weird thing was that he was looking down at the ground muttering to himself. Not that Jacob could complain; if talking to yourself was a currency, Jacob would probably be the richest person in all existence.

"… By the goddess, I knew I should have brought that Ring of Herculean Strength with me instead of sell it. Now I'm stuck here with the cannon fodder with no way out of this tutorial dungeon. How lame I passed by that offer of C4 back at the shop…"

Everyone blinked at that last statement until Compa called out to the teen. "Um, hello?"

The teen snapped to attention in an instant and pulled out a gun at the party, which made the party tense and Jacob raise his palms towards the teen. "Who the-? Oh, huh. Wow, not everyday you see other adventures in a dungeon crawl." The teen put away the gun and stood up, causing the party to relax and Jacob to lower his arms.

"Tell me about it," IF replied. "Who are you?"

Although it was hard to tell for sure because of the shades, Jacob had a feeling that the teen's eyes narrowed. "You know, it's rude to ask for someone else's name without telling them your own."

"A moral that has been passed down from anime or JRPG to anime or JRPG for several yonks now. Anyway," Jacob walked up to the teen and extended his hand. "I'm Jacob. It's good to meet you."

The teen raised an eyebrow, but took Jacob's hand in his and gave it a shake. "I'm…well, just call me SF. Same here."

"…You understood," Jacob said, not taking his hand back and standing perfectly still.

"Oh my goodie!" Neptune shouted, "He knows about handshakes! Clearly, he and Jacob are connected in some way!"

"Wow!" Compa was equally surprised. "Are you his long lost brother? Maybe his father but from the past?"

SF couldn't help but look at Compa and Neptune as if they had two heads. He then turned to IF. "These are your friends?"

Jacob cut in. "Oh, terribly sorry. It's just that every time I offer someone a handshake, they think I want to be their blood brother or something."

"… Really?" SF stared at the pair for a moment before turning back to Jacob. "Well, whatever. Anyway, what are you four doing here?"

"We're looking for an item called a Key Fragment so that we can save the world," Compa explained, "We think it's being held by the boss in this tutorial dungeon."

"Ah." SF looked at the fence and gave it a kick. "Well, I can't get past here. I found a hammer here to break the thing down, but I'm not strong enough to lift it." He then muttered to himself, "Normally I can, but…"

"So why are you still here?" Jacob asked, "Surely you could just go somewhere else to hunt monsters?"

"I'm here on a job and, even if I wanted to leave, I can't. Stupid tutorial dungeon won't let me. It's annoying 'cause I already know how to fight but I still have to go this anyway. To kill time, I've been spending the last four hours kicking the monsters around."

IF's eyes diluted. "F-Four hours? What level are you at now?"

"Thirty, the same as I entered. Monsters here don't give jack at my level."

"T-Thirty? How are you so high right now?" Compa asked, looking shocked.

"I'm a Monster Hunter by trade. Gives plenty of experience."

"Ah, that explains it." IF nodded in understanding.

"What's a Monster Hunter?" Neptune asked.

"Gee, I dunno," Jacob replied sarcastically, "Maybe it's a person that hunts monsters? You know, like how a wood chipper chips wood or like how a hand guard guards your hand or how a cutting edge is an edge that cuts? That's just speculation, mind you."

Neptune put her hands on her hips. "You don't have to be so rude."

"Grow up and take some common sense with you." He turned back to SF. "Still, why can't you lift the hammer?"

"I think it's a faulty one the dungeon spawned. Could barely drag the thing over here." Sure enough, there were drag marks on the floor leading to the hammer. "Truth be told, I was going to start ramming the fence myself if it came down to it."

"Well, don't worry about that," Jacob assured him. "Neptune'll take care of it. Neptune?"

"Sure thing!" Neptune reached into her hammerspace and took out her own hammer.

SF blinked at the sight of Neptune's hammer. "You have one as well?"

"Get back, by the way." Jacob took SF with him, IF and Compa as they got behind Neptune, who was doing a few stretches. "Also," Jacob covered his eyes with his hand, "don't look."

"What? Why?"

"BAN_ZAIII_!" Neptune once again swung the hammer down to smash the fence. The hammer impact didn't seem to do anything because it only began to fall apart maybe a fraction of a second after she had finished swinging. In any event, she managed to get the fence down but not without flashing those behind her (except Jacob) with a view of her panties.

Neptune stood up and twirled. "The path is clear! Let us…" Her expression turned from cheery to curious. "Hey, are you all okay?"

"I'm fine," Jacob said as he removed his hand.

Compa was silent, her eyes slightly glazed and blood was, once again, running out her nose.

"… Neptune, we are so getting you shorts when we're done here," IF said, a bit surprised to have a voice full of authority.

Neptune pouted, "Aww! But I don't like 'em!"

"Too bad," Jacob said before tuning to SF. "Sorry about that. Probably should've warned you earlier."

"It's okay. I probably should've seen that one coming. I mean, she's wearing thigh-high socks and no shorts. Really pushing the Zettai Ryouki there." SF put his hand to his chin. "That hoodie jacket is deceptive…"

"Now that you mention it, yeah it is." Jacob repeated SF's gesture.

"Are you done analyzing Neptune's clothing, you pervs?" IF asked, annoyed.

"Hey, I'm just observing character design," Jacob defended, "Besides, she's too young for me."

"I don't do lolis." SF agreed.

"What? MASSIVE AWW!" Neptune whined, "I have two…well, one good looking guy and an average looking guy on my team and neither of them have any interest in my lovely body!"

"I'm not that shallow," Jacob said.

"Again, not into little girls." SF folded his arms. "Besides, I'm not technically on your team."

Neptune just grumbled.

"Um, everyone?" Compa tried to get everyone's attention. "We should go find the boss now."

"True," Jacob agreed, "Let's move, people."

"Righto." SF nodded as he went over to pick up his main weapon; a futuristic-looking katana that had a noticeable indent at the bottom of the hilt.

"Ooh, that's a cool sword!" Neptune clearly like the design. "Wanna trade for my sword?"

SF gave Neptune a hard look before saying, "No."

"Aww!"

"For God's sake Neptune, please shut up..." Jacob massaged his forehead.

The party continued until they hit the big room. As before, there was a glowing circle on the ground.

"Compa," Neptune and Jacob said together.

"Okay." Compa walked over to the circle and rang the bell.

"You know, I could've done that." SF held up his own bell in his hand.

"Doesn't matter now," IF replied before extending her katara blades. "Here it comes!"

Neptune, Compa, and SF drew their weapons, while Jacob shook his arms and they all got into their fighting stances.

The monster, however, wasn't a Guard Vermin. Rather, it was a red dog much like the Blue Shadow, and it looked rather vicious.

"Everyone, get back!" Jacob put his two hands together.

"Huh- What the-!" SF looked at Jacob and saw him generating a four-foot energy ball in his hands.

"WRECKING BALL!" After a few seconds, Jacob shot it forward and it hit the red dog head on. The monster didn't stand a chance; the ball pushed it into the wall before dispersing and the wolf fell to the ground, looking stunned.

"…Damn…" SF was amazed at the damage to wolf took from that one attack. "How the heck did you do that?" He looked back at Jacob only to find he wasn't there. "What the-?"

"Over here…" Jacob's grunt caused SF to turn in his direction and he couldn't help but blink in surprise. Jacob had somehow managed to embed himself in the wall. "Damn recoil…" He then fell out of the wall.

SF was about to go over to help when Compa assured him, "Don't worry, he'll be fine!"

"Ol' Neptune's gonna show you some new tricks!" Neptune taunted the dog. "Now play dead!" IF also ran towards the dog with Compa in tow.

"Hey, what are you all doing?" SF asked. "Aren't you supposed to take turns or something?"

"Nah! That takes to long," Neptune shouted back as she attacked the helpless monster. "This is much quicker!"

"Really…?" For some reason, SF looked more intrigued than surprised. "Whatever, time to do the job I was supposed to…"

Eventually, the monster was quickly digitized. Neptune, Compa and IF walked back over to SF and Jacob, who managed to get himself back on his feet and limp back towards their temporary comrade. "See?" Neptune put her hands on her hips.

"That…" SF looked at all of them before he grew a bemused smile. "Wow, I thought we weren't the only ones that didn't follow that stupid turn-based combat system."

Everyone blinked as Jacob said, "Wait, what?"

"Wait, you don't follow that system either?" Compa asked.

"I'd be bad for Monster Hunting business. We fight like the guys in Devils Never Cry." SF didn't notice Jacob twitch in response to his words. "I mean, seriously, when it comes to monsters like dragons, we need to hit fast and hard."

"That makes sense." IF nodded in agreement. "Still, it's a liberating experience."

"I can tell." That's when SF noticed something glittering where the monster dog was. "Hey, what's that?"

"What's what?" IF looked at where SF was looking and saw a quarter of a black crystal lying on the ground. "Huh… well, that's unusual."

"It's definitely not a Key Fragment," Compa noted, "but what is it?"

SF walked over to it and picked it up. "Well… maybe it's worth something." He looked back at the party. You don't mind if I keep this, do you?"

"Neptune, did Histoire say anything about crystals?" IF asked, while SF blinked for some reason.

"Nope." Neptune shook her head. "She just said Key Fragments."

"Well, keep it then." IF told SF. "We don't mind."

"Ah, thanks for that." He took the crystal and stuffed it in his pocket. "Well, thanks for helping me out of this dungeon, Jacob…"

"IF," IF answered. "And these two are Compa and Neptune."

"Ah. Thank you as well."

"We're here to help those in need!" Neptune proudly declared.

"Lovely," Jacob groaned, who was levitating off the ground, bobbing here and there. "Can we leave now…?"

SF couldn't help but stare. "…How the heck are you floating?"

"Jetpack."

"…I've got to find myself one of those."

"Good luck with that."

* * *

><p>Outside the dungeon, Neptune stretched. "Boy, that was fun!"<p>

"We didn't get a Key Fragment, though," IF noted. "Shows that they don't always appear in tutorial dungeons."

"I better get going now," SF gave a nod and said, "Again, thanks for everything."

"Like we said, it's no problem," Jacob answered, "Have a good day."

"You too. I hope to see you all again under better circumstances."

"Same here," Neptune replied. "It was good meeting you, Essy!"

"… 'Essy'?"

"Neptune," Jacob began, "his name is SF and you will refer to him as such. Okay?"

Neptune pouted. "What do you have against nicknames?"

"Yours are stupid."

"You're not the only one who suffers from that," IF told SF. "She keeps calling me Iffy."

SF's lips quirked before he whistled. "Damn. Good thing I'm not sticking with you guys, eh?"

"Aw, why do you have to leave?" Neptune whined, trying to look like a cute puppy. "You're not a silhouette and you can fight! Surely you can adventure with us and save the world from monsters, witches and quick time events!"

"…Quick time events?" SF rubbed the back of his head. "Anyway, it sounds fun and all, don't worry about that. It's just that saving the world isn't my kind of thing. Besides, I'm kind of busy with my own problems at the moment."

"I understand," said Jacob. "Best of luck to you."

"Right back at ya. See you later!" SF waved his hand and the two parties went their separate ways.

"He was nice, wasn't he?" commented Compa as they walked.

IF nodded. "He would've been a good party member."

"Maybe he's DLC?" Neptune asked.

"Neptune, you don't buy living people," answered Jacob. "Unless… do you guys run a slavery system or something where you buy other adventurers to fight with you?"

"No," quickly responded IF and Compa.

"You don't buy living people, Neptune."

Neptune pouted again. "Well, I wouldn't mind having him in the party."

Compa gestured for Jacob to float down. "So what do we do now?" When Jacob came down to her level, she gave him a bottle of Reflex, which he drank. "Do we go to the Basilicom like we originally planned?"

"No way," Jacob answered. "It's too late and I've filled my dungeon quota for the day. Plus, my back hurts like hell. I want a place to sit down and relax."

"Fair enough," said IF as she looked at her cell phone. "I know a motel that we can stay in. Rent's okay and all the jobs we'll be doing should pay for it anyway. Sound good to you all?"

"A motel? Ew-o-rama!" Neptune stuck her tongue out in disgust. "You sure you don't have any friends or family that have a house somewhere that we can freeload in?"

"I don't," said IF.

"Aw…"

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, not much point to this chapter. Not that the game itself was much better; too much filler there. Anyway, please keep those reviews coming and, as always, constructive criticism will be rewarded with another chapter that I will be posting anyway so you don't really get much of an award. Well, too bad.<strong>

**Also... BRIDGES? Seriously? This is why I hate the visual novel style; the writers can make up whatever they want and never actually show it.**

**Something else is that... well, I can't believe I called those things trams in the past chapters rather than cable cars. Damn it, what the hell was I smoking?**


	9. Head for the Source

**And here we have Chapter 9. Sorry about the delay but uni's getting pretty hectic, not to mention I still have my game reviews to do (you didn't know I did those, did you? Feel free to check them out at Porecomesis Reviews on _blogspot_, not tumblr). Anyway, review response time.**

**godofmadness43: Seeing as he was a one-off cameo character that I included (with DMAsh's permission, of course) for the sake of having a bit of fun, we'll never know. However, Hyperdimensional Infinite Neptunia is still going strong with 24 chapters and his taste in women may be revealed there.**

**CheShireSmiLe: This chapter's even longer. Enjoy. And yeah, I got permission. Oh, and Itsuka does have blue hair. Look up the visual novel illustrations. I actually found it weird, myself; I honestly thought Soren would look older than that. He's only appearing in that one chapter, mind you, so don't think he'll come back.**

**CheShireSmiLe: This chap... eh? Oh, you reviewed twice. Did your Internet connection have problems? Here's a tip, man; when you press submit review, the review is submitted no matter what your connection is like. Don't press it again because it's going through. And now you know.  
><strong>

**some reviewer: Dude, having a title which infers that one is just a bystander of little importance is MY thing. Get your own theme. Also, again, SF won't appear again. Unless DMAsh feels like it.**

**Eyeshield: I PMed you about this but, for the sake of those reason, let's recap: he mostly is. I am also terrified of bees, for instance. I have tweaked some aspects so Jacob doesn't have access to some information that I do, like the whole power message in Chapter 6's end. I did this so that he could grow as a character and not be boring. Also, his personality is mostly mine, although Jacob probably is under-reacting a bit. As for your second question, they don't when the party first enters the dungeon. However, when they battle, the monsters will think "Hey, something's not right" when they're being attacked from all sides. That's when they'll break.**

**Eisenfaust: A bit off the mark there, man.**

_"Hey, I don't want you do die," Jacob said._

_Neptune raised an eyebrow. "Really (He cares for me? Hm...)…?"_

_Jacob: "Really (What are you thinking?)"_

_Neptune: "... Really, really (Maybe I can be his love interest?)?"_

_Jacob: "Yes! (For God's sake!)"_

**As you can tell, Jacob's a bit impatient. Look at my response to one who walks the path of fire. Anyway, Jacob won't get his recoil in control for a long time as Newton's Third Law isn't exactly the kind of thing that can be ignored by wishing it away and, yes, Noire finally appears in this chapter. What is with you people and Noire? She's not that interesting a character.**

**NoirRenamon: You're very welcome, man. I find it quite interesting that I probably hate this game more than all of you put together love it and I still have the most reviews per chapter. By the way, I'm very proud of having about four reviews for every chapter as of last chapter. YAY!**

**one who walks the path of fire: Find out in this chapter. And... well, it's complicated; Neptune's a bit Genre Savvy despite being an amnesiac (makes you wonder what she actually forgot) and, as Jacob's the first male she remembers meeting and is the only male to be in the group since the dinosaurs ruled the Earth, she thinks he's meant to be the love interest and wants his attention because she loves her stories that much. Jacob isn't aware of this but, when he finds out, he'll do everything in his power to stop it. While Neptune loves to enforce tropes, Jacob loves to defy them.**

**EDIT: I have now added a stove and a caged fan in the description of the room. They weren't there in the first place because I was using Youtube cutscenes to find the rooms and describe them. The one I was using at the time had Noire in the way. This frustrated me. Anyway, fixed.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9: Head for the Source<strong>

"Here we are," announced IF as the party entered the door to their motel room. While it at least did have four beds with green bar headers and footers, windows with green frames, four hanging lights that didn't look the slightest bit eco-friendly, a stove, a caged fan hanging from the ceiling and a middle-sized TV on the other side of the room, there was an air duct on the wall that made a continuous faint noise. This might have been slightly tolerable if it weren't for the huge metal generator placed near one of the beds. It was slightly shorter than Compa and the pipe extruding from the top branched out left and right at the edge of the ceiling. The room was ugly and noisy.

"Home sweet home," said Jacob.

Compa looked around quizzically. "I don't think it's that nice. It looks kind of dirty, the generator and air duct are-"

"I was being sarcastic," Jacob said quickly.

"… Oh."

"Well," began Jacob, "someone has to take the bed next to the generator. Not it."

"Not it," said Neptune.

"Not it," said IF.

"Huh?" Compa was confused until she realised what was going on. "O-Oh… I have to take the generator bed…" Compa took a deep breath. "Okay… That's fine."

"Oh, God…" Jacob rubbed his face. "Fine, then."

IF raised an eyebrow. "Jacob, that's a bit charitable of you."

"No, it's a bit charitable of _you_. You're taking the generator bed."

"What?" IF was taken aback. "Why?"

"You travel around a lot. I presume you've had worse living conditions than this?"

"Well, yeah, b-"

"Then you can cope with this."

IF frowned and glared at Jacob before she walked over to her bed. "Why do I always get the crappy bed?" she grumbled to herself as she lied down.

Jacob looked around the room. "These accommodations are absolutely dreadful, and we picked the middle-priced room."

"Hey," Neptune tugged on Jacob's jacket sleeve to get his attention. "We don't have time to sit around doing nothing like NPCs. We need to figure out what to do now."

"Good point." IF sat up. "So far, we've established that tutorial dungeons don't necessarily hold Key Fragments." She crossed her arms. "What else did Planeptune's tutorial dungeon have that might separate it from other dungeons?"

"Bugger all, apparently," answered Jacob. "Planeptune's tutorial dungeon and Lastation's were pretty much the same. The only key difference, no pun intended, was that Planeptune's had a Guard Vermin as a boss while Lastation's had that red dog."

IF looked like she had an epiphany. "That's it."

"What's it? Me? When did we start playing tag?" Neptune asked.

"Maybe it's the Guard Vermin. I've never seen one before but you three saw it in a tutorial dungeon. I don't think that's a coincidence."

Jacob nodded in comprehension. "So what you're saying is, we find a dungeon with a Guard Vermin boss and we find a Key Fragment?"

"Not necessarily," responded IF. "The tutorial dungeon theory didn't work and there's no guarantee that this will."

"Still better than nothing," said Jacob. "Any lead's better than running around blind."

"But where will we find a dungeon with a Guard Vermin in it?" asked Compa. "DungleMaps doesn't say what monsters are in a dungeon, only its recommended level and name."

"Guess we'll have to go to the Basilicom, then," said Jacob. "I imagine they'd have an extensive library on dungeons and the monsters within?"

IF smiled. "Absolutely." She stood up from the bed. "Well, it looks like we're going to the Basilicom. Everyone ready?"

No one had any objections.

"Oi! I'm the leader so I'm the one who says 'Everyone ready?' or 'Get to the chopper!'" Well, except for Neptune.

"Since when did we have a leadership?" asked Jacob. "I thought we all just followed the opinion that was the most popular."

"Yeah but I'm the main character, which means I'm the one who calls the shots and looks cool."

Jacob sighed. "Neptune, you don't favour strategy and your plans are, for all intents and purposes, go on and see if something relevant falls from the sky. You're not leadership material."

Neptune gasped. Compa grimaced while IF looked at Jacob with an expression that said 'You shouldn't have said that'.

Neptune's eyes began to tear up. "Y-You think I'm a st-stupid head…"

Jacob groaned and held the bridge of his nose. "Oh, lord…"

"WAAAH!" Neptune cried. Very, very loudly. "You're a meanie heeead!"

"Neptune, I'm sorry," Jacob tried to apologise. "You're an okay leader-"

"**WAAAH!**" Apparently, 'okay' was the wrong word.

Jacob walked up to her and flicked her on the forehead. All three girls present were surprised by this. "Neptune, pull yourself together," he said sternly. "Does a leader cry when her own troops insult her? No; she holds her ground and makes sure that they know she's the boss. Neptune, your tactical inabilities aside, you're steadfast, determined to reach the goal and a good source of morale. You don't cry; that's Compa's schtick."

"Aw…" whined you-know-who.

The tears in Neptune's eyes receded and she sniffled. "Yeah… Yeah, you're right!" Now she was back to being her chipper self. "I'm a big, badass leader! Cryin' is for sissies!"

"Not necessarily." Jacob's comment was ignored.

"Well, gang," she turned to IF and Compa, "we're going to the Basilicom and we are going to find the heck out of this gosh dang Guard Vermin! All in favour say 'aye'!"

"Aye!" said Compa cheerfully.

"Aye," said IF more loudly than last time.

"Aye," said Jacob normally.

"Then we're off! Into the wilds we go to the Basilicom!" Neptune opened the door.

"Neptune?" Jacob began. "Do you want a hug?"

This question caused the girls to look at him like he just spoke three sentences at once in four different languages. "What?" responded Neptune without her usual perkiness.

Jacob spread out his arms. "After that little crying fest, I wondered if you wanted a hug."

"Jake…" began Compa, treating her sentence like she was walking on a tightrope, "do you… _like… _like Neptune?"

"Oh for crying out loud…" Jacob face-palmed. "Why is it that everything I do is some sort of proclamation of love? I hug a lot of people, all in platonic ways, and this is no different."

"Oh…" said Neptune, not visibly disappointed. "Well… sure, let's huggle."

Neptune walked forward and wrapped her arms around Jacob as he wrapped his around her. They stayed like that for a few seconds. "You're so warm, Jacob," said Neptune as she rested her head on Jacob's torso like it was a pillow. "Mm… I can feel your heartbeat."

"… This just stopped being platonic, didn't it?" Jacob asked.

"Ba-dum-pa, ba-dum-pa…" murmured Neptune.

"Like a crashing train," said IF.

For some reason, Compa was shaking ever so slightly.

"Alright Neptune, that's enough," he said firmly as he pushed her away and headed for the door. "Let's get moving."

The girls followed him. "Thankies, Jacob," said Neptune. "I was thinking of kicking you in the knee to make you know I'm the boss, like you said, but that hug will do."

Most people would not smile at that remark in amusement like Jacob did. "That's a nice thought."

* * *

><p>And so the party found themselves getting into the cable car again.<p>

"You know," began Jacob as he ducked his head to get into the lift, "I used to be very scared of these, what with being suspended by a single cord over the yawning void of whatever's down there. Now that I've used these things quite a few times, I'm okay."

"That's good, Jake. I had the same problem when I first used it," Compa said as she sat down.

IF looked up at the roof. "It could snap at any time, couldn't it?"

"Yeah." Jacob turned to Neptune. "You should use teleporters to get between islands."

"Hm… okay then! When I become a goddess again and I can just zippity-zap-"

"Please cut those out," requested Jacob.

"- things here, there and everywhere, I'll put teleporters everywhere." Neptune seemed enthusiastic.

"Nice," said IF.

The party was quiet from there. Jacob took this moment to think. So far, he knew from Compa's… assets and Neptune's method of swinging her hammer that he was in a primarily fanservice-focused story. Given the all-female cast, he also guessed that the fanservice focused on lesbianism between very underage girls. This unnerved him a little. However, why Neptune acted so suggestively before still escaped him. Regardless, he then realised that the girls had very little character on their own and they mainly existed to make out with each other and make as many lame video game "jokes" as they could get away with.

Time to do something about that.

"Hey, girls?" Jacob got their attention. "What do you want to do for a profession?"

"What do you mean?" asked Compa.

"I mean what do you want to do for a job, to earn a living."

"Oh. Well, I want to be a nurse, to help the sick. There are so many hurting people in Gamindustri and I want to help them!" Compa's burst of enthusiasm when her desire to help people did not go unnoticed. "I also want to get married to someone nice one day…" Stars appeared in her eyes again. "I'll have a beautiful wedding dress, with a great big wedding cake… Oh! IF, you can be the maid of honour!"

"Really? That sounds interesting." IF was slightly amused.

"You just wanna be a nurse, Compa?" Jacob looked a bit confused. "You don't want to be a Chief of Medicine or something?"

"Chief of Medicine?" Now Compa looked confused.

"You know, the person running the hospital. Hell, you could be even more than that like a Minister of Medicine or something. Who knows how far your influence could spread? How many could you help from such a high position of power?"

"How… many…" Compa got stars in her eyes again and had a very vacant expression.

"Jacob, are you sure it's a good idea to fill her mind with those ideas? What if she fails and gets disappointed?" IF asked.

"Hey, I reckon she can do it. Just give her a few years of experience to start with and she'll find her way from there. Besides, you have to aim higher than your target if you want to hit it. That's what my archery teacher told me when I didn't hit the apple on top of Ben's head."

The entire car became deathly silent.

Jacob chuckled. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. IF, what do you wanna do for your future?"

"Well, I don't really have any goals. I like to travel and get around. There's a lot of interesting people to meet and I like seeing all the different sights. Not to mention monster fighting never gets boring," IF answered.

"I'm not much of a traveller, myself," commented Jacob. "I prefer to stay home all day playing video games."

IF smiled. "Trust me Jacob, you're the rule rather than the exception."

"I wanna be a hero of justice!" Neptune stood up suddenly. "I wanna make all the bad guys cry home to their mommas and help damsels in distress."

Jacob nodded. "When you get your memories as a goddess back, I'm pretty sure you'll be able to do just that."

"Hot diggity dog! Memories, here I come!"

"What do you want to do in the future, Jake?" asked Compa.

"Oh, me? Well, I wanna be a game designer."

IF was surprised. "Really? That sounds like fun."

"Yeah." Jacob leaned back a bit. "I look at the current line-up of games and I wonder to myself, 'Where is the creativity?' and 'Where is the originality?' I want to change that. I want to get into the industry and make quality games that will truly raise the bar."

"That sounds awesome." Neptune seemed to be in awe. "Any ideas so far?"

Jacob smirked. "What do you think about a person who flies around with a jetpack and cuts off the heads of giant monsters with a huge laser-edged broadsword?"

"I'm sold," said IF.

"Same here," echoed Compa.

"That sounds even more awesome!" Neptune shared their thoughts.

"You think you can do it?" IF asked.

Jacob leaned forward. "It's gonna be a long and tough road but I think I can do it." If one looked very closely, they would be able to see Jacob's face spelling out 'bring it on'. "I will make a game with brilliant gameplay and an epic story that makes every conventionally good game before it shrivel before its might like it's a cold day in the locker room."

Compa smiled. "I think you can do it, Jake. You just have to believe in yourself."

"And work hard," Jacob added on quickly. "Never forget working hard."

"Good things come to those who work hard and never give up, right?" quoted Neptune.

"Absolutely." Jacob looked back at IF. "Are we there yet?"

"Yeah, we just arrived." The car arrived at the station.

"Funny how our establishing conversations finish right before we arrive at our destination," Jacob commented as he reached for the door.

* * *

><p>The first thing that occurred to Jacob when the party arrived at Lastation's Basilicom was that it looked a lot like Planeptune's. In fact, it looked exactly like Planeptune's Basilicom; it had exactly the same colours, it was in the middle of the same forest and there weren't even any black clouds. It was as if whoever made this place couldn't even be bothered to recolour it so as to differentiate it from the other Basilicoms.<p>

"Compa, could I borrow a piece of paper and a pen, please?" Jacob asked politely.

"Oh, uh, sure." Compa pulled the items out of her disk and gave them to Jacob. "What do you need them for?"

"Taking notes. Now I just need a flat surface."

"Wait until we're inside the Basilicom," said IF as the party walked to the door. A man, presumably a guard, stood there. He seemed to be a little bit younger than the man at Planeptune's Basilicom and a bit scruffier. Of course, Jacob couldn't really tell because of the whole silhouette deal.

"Um, 'scuse me!" Neptune called as she approached him. "I wanna get some information on monsters. May I come in?"

The man looked at Neptune. "Monsters? What are you going to do with this information?" he asked in a condescending tone of voice.

"We're searching for an item called a Key Fragment. We must defeat a strong monster to get one," Compa explained.

"Actually, we don't know that for sure," said Jacob. "We need a Key Fragment but we don't know where it is. It's definitely in a dungeon somewhere guarded by a Boss but that's all we know for certain."

"Defeat monsters?" The man responded as if he just heard a bad joke. "Don't be foolish. Even the Lastation Defence Force doesn't stand a chance against them. You're nothing more than children. Go home!"

"Y-You shouldn't judge us by our appearances." Compa tried to appear strong but her feelings were definitely hurt. "We've already defeated lots and lots of monsters already. Nep-Nep here can transform and become really super strong. We'll show you!"

"Transform?" the man repeated.

"Are you doing that on purpose?" Jacob lost his patience. "Yes, Neptune can transform. Yes, she can become 'really super strong' as Compa here has said. Also, yes, we do want the information to defeat monsters. Are there any other stupid questions you'd like answered and, for the love of God, do _not_ say 'Questions?'."

"This Basilicom is a bit arrogant," IF remarked with distaste. "Shows what kind of leader Black Heart is when you meet the people who serve her."

IF's statement struck a nerve with the man. "We're not like those that suck up to Black Heart! I don't care what others say but don't confuse us with them. You brats better scram already or I'm going to have to hurt you!"

Neptune was angered by this response. "Oh? Have you even seen our stats? We're probably way stronger than you!" She was about to draw her sword but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Neptune." Jacob didn't need to make Neptune turn around to look at him. "Transform. Now."

Neptune's eyes widened before the biggest grin he had ever seen grew on her face. "Okey-dokey!" She turned back to the man. "Watch now and be amazed! This is a once in a life time opportunity!" She drew her sword and raised it to the sky. "By the power of Planeptune! I have the power!"

Neptune transformed again, although without the booming voice and the thunder coming down from the sky. Instead, it was the standard white flash. Taking Neptune's place was… well, still Neptune but she was now in the form of Purple Heart. She opened her eyes and noticed that the man was… well he was most likely shocked. Again, silhouettes.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What happened?" he stammered.

"That, my friend, is my other friend transforming into a stronger form." Jacob was about to say 'Purple Heart' but he quickly stopped himself. "So, you see, we were telling the truth and we can handle a few little monsters. We can also handle you, should you try to hurt us. Not that we're threatening you or anything."

"Now," Purple Heart began, "will you give us the information that we need?"

The man hesitated, obviously irritated, before giving in. "Fine. Come on in but make sure you sign the logbook."

* * *

><p>Purple Heart transformed back as the party stepped inside the Basilicom. Again, it looked exactly the same as Planeptune's Basilicom. Jacob found a table and used it to write on his paper.<p>

"So where do you keep all the monster info?" Neptune asked the man.

"Go through the door on your left," he answered as he gestured towards the door.

The party followed his directions and found themselves in a yellow room with quite a few bookshelves. It was slightly smaller than a public library in Jacob's world. "Okay, where do you keep the monster info?" Neptune asked.

"That _is_ the monster info. All of it. This room contains dungeon info, located on the other side of the room, and monster info, which is where you are now. Miscellaneous items, like financing, architecture, common trends and all that, are kept on the door to the right of the entrance."

"That doesn't sound like good prioritising," Jacob commented.

The man just groaned in response as he left the party to their devices.

"Alrighty," Neptune started, "let's get crackin'."

* * *

><p>"Lady Black Heart?" The man walked into the private chambers of Black Heart, the goddess of Lastation. The chambers didn't really seem that private, given how it was on the ground floor and covered in a glass dome with multiple frames. Apparently, security to guard one of the most politically powerful figures in the world was low on everyone's list of priorities. In addition, the floor was made of what seemed to be polished marble and, in the centre of the room surrounded by an elaborate hexagonal frame with purple curtains, was a green statue of a woman in a robe.<p>

"What is it?" answered Black Heart from behind the curtain arrangement.

The man approached the statue and bowed. The statue seemed to be used to divide Black Heart from those that enter. "I wanted to inform you that a party of four adventurers has entered the Basilicom, asking for information about monsters."

Black Heart sighed. "Doorman, every adventurer we get wants information on monsters."

"My lady, there are no other adventurers."

"Not the point. Why is this so special?"

"I'm sorry, my lady. One of them demonstrated the particular ability to transform."

This piqued Black Heart's interest if her tone of voice was anything to go by. "Transform? Into what?"

"Well, she's just a teenage girl. However, when she transforms, she becomes a young adult. She also gains digital butterfly wings and a black and purple bodysuit and her hands become clawed. They implied threats to coerce me into allowing them into the Basilicom so I thought it would be wise to inform you about it."

Black Heart was silent for a moment. "You've made the right choice. Get out, please; I'll take care of them myself."

"As you wish, my lady."

* * *

><p>Jacob sighed as he put back a book with a V on the front of it. "Okay, I have looked over these books three times and the only thing I find in them about Guard Vermins is that they're extinct, which is obviously false. How are things going on your end, IF?"<p>

IF was at the dungeon section of the room with Compa. "I only just got started on the second book of A right now. The dungeons are listed in alphabetical order; the monsters are irrelevant. This is going to take ages."

"Have you tried looking at the index?" Jacob suggested.

IF stood still, completely unmoving for a moment. After her eye twitched a few times, she flicked to the back of the book. "Damn it."

"Happens to all of us. As for me, I'm completely lost and I haven't any idea what to do now."

"Try again. We can't leave empty-handed."

Neptune sighed as Jacob pulled down a book with a large G on the front. "This is so boring... I just wanna go out and play."

Someone at the door cleared their throat, causing the party to look in their direction.

It was girl who looked to be a bit younger than Jacob. She had black hair that, even with the black and blue ribbons holding it into two somewhat curly pigtails, reached to her waist. She also had neatly combed bangs that framed her face and she had red eyes (red irises, mind you; her sclera were a healthy white. Or opaque. Whatever). She wore a ridiculously ornate dress which was primarily black and had white breast coverings and frill skirt. Her black sleeves with accompanying frilled white bicep cuffs were detached from her dress because detached sleeves are the most useful invention since the concept of the wheel. She wore a rather large black collar with frilly white edges and a golden medal with a blue ribbon on the front.

"… Yes?" said Jacob.

The newcomer had a perfectly stoic expression as she walked towards Jacob and Neptune. She eyed Neptune warily. "Hello. Welcome to my Basilicom," she greeted. "I hear that you're looking for monster information?"

"Indeed," Jacob responded, "and who might you be?"

She placed a hand over her chest. "I am Black Heart, the goddess of Lastation."

"Wha-?" Neptune, much like Jacob, Compa and IF, was rather surprised.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," Jacob apologised before extending his hand. "I'm Jacob. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"_Wha-?_" Neptune was even more surprised. Black Heart in particular looked like she didn't know whether to slap him or just outright refuse.

"U-Uh, J-Jake?" Compa stammered.

"Huh- oh, right." Jacob retracted his hand. "Terribly sorry; I just wanted to shake your hand. I come from a different culture, you see, and a handshake is a form of greeting. It doesn't mean anything about brotherhood or anything intimate."

"… Oh." Black Heart had her normal expression again and extended her hand. "Then that's alright, then."

Jacob was pleasantly surprised at how Lastation's CPU was so courteous and understanding. He gave her hand a nice firm shake. "I've been through this misunderstanding about four times." IF and Compa approached.

Black Heart removed her hand. "Does that get annoying?"

"Indeed."

Black Heart placed her hand on her waist. "Why are you looking for monster information, though? What could you possibly gain from it?"

"Actually, my friend Neptune here-"

"Hi!" she cheered.

Black heart narrowed her eyes at Neptune.

"- is on a mission to retrieve four Key Fragments to release a very important person from imprisonment. Magical imprisonment, mind you, by a big bad guy."

"I see…" Black Heart kept her gaze on Neptune, who was clearly confused as to why Black Heart didn't seem to like her. "And why are you going with her on this mission?"

IF spoke up. "We actually volunteered because we thought Neptune could use the help."

"Same thing for me at first," Jacob continued, "only I'm beginning to have second thoughts after getting stabbed in the stomach with a big flipping lance-spear thing-" Black Heart's eyes widened in surprise, "- and I can't get back home so I'm going with Neptune until we find a way to get me home."

"… You're lost?" Black Heart asked.

"It's a long story." Jacob didn't want to tell Black Heart that she was actually a video game character. Compa was proof enough that such revelations could have consequences and he really didn't want to test how other kinds of people would react. Plus, it was a bit unbelievable.

Black Heart sighed. "Well, okay then. What information are you looking for in particular?"

"We're trying to find out where we might find Guard Vermins," Compa answered. "They may be guarding the Key Fragments."

"Don't be stupid," Black Heart answered. "Guard Vermins are extinct."

"No they're not," Compa responded. "We met one in a Planeptune tutorial dungeon and it was guarding a Key Fragment."

"A tutorial dungeon?" Black Heart just couldn't catch a break from surprises today, it seemed. "Then have you gone to one here in Lastation? Maybe there's a pattern."

"Actually, we already tried that," responded IF. "Didn't work."

"Ah. Unfortunately, the Basilicom can't help you, then. We don't have any information on Guard Vermins apart from what old records and legends tell us. If you want to find them, you'll have to search around. Very thoroughly, mind you."

"Aw, crackers," Neptune grumbled. "I was hoping this'd be a cinch. Ah well; guess we'll have to just wander around and do random jobs for people."

"Thanks for your help," said Jacob.

"Not a problem. So what do you plan on doing now?"

Jacob, Neptune and Compa looked at IF. "Well, we'll probably just wander around, taking odd jobs until we find out where to go next," IF explained.

"I see. Well then, have a good day." Black Heart turned and walked out the door. The party then exited the Basilicom.

* * *

><p>Back on the streets of Lastation, the party wandered around without aim.<p>

"With the way that guy crossed the line talking about their CPU like that, I was kind of assuming that she'd be arrogant and snobby. I didn't think she'd be that pleasant," commented IF.

"She didn't seem to like Nep-Nep very much, though," Compa brought up. "I wonder why?"

"May have something to do with her having pushed Neptune off of Celestia before she lost her memories," Jacob said. "Just a guess, mind you."

"_Crackers!_" Neptune yelled suddenly, surprising everyone.

"What's wrong, Nep-Nep?" Compa asked.

"I forgot to ask her why she pushed me off Celestia! I'm so stupid, like a goldfish!"

Jacob facepalmed. "Damn it, I forgot as well. Sorry."

"Hey, don't worry," said IF, trying to calm them down. "We'll meet her again and we can ask her what happened then."

Jacob sighed. "Alright then."

"What should we do now?" asked Compa with worry. "We didn't find any information on Guard Vermins or any dungeons that might have them."

"Eh, let's just do some jobs like Iffy suggested," said Neptune.

Compa nodded. "Good idea. It may take longer but we just got here and we don't know much about Lastation. This is just the beginning. Let's take our time, explore and learn!"

Jacob shrugged. "Not like we have any other options. Let's get cracking on finding odd jobs. Hopefully the railroad plot will lead somewhere."

* * *

><p>It didn't take long for the party to take a monster killing job. A small factory going by the name of Passe was suffering from monster attacks and it needed adventurers to take them down. The party was asked by the company president to meet in the main street.<p>

"Is that her? The person who wants us to fight monsters?" asked Compa.

"Huh?" Neptune looked over to where Compa was looking. "She's kinda small, isn't she? I was expecting like a… big burly man as president." Neptune was right in that the woman was rather small, which wasn't helped by her having a thin figure. It was hard to tell from her silhouette (this was beginning to cheese off Jacob) but she looked like she had messy hair and wore a long-sleeve coat.

"Oh, she saw us. She's waving at us…" Compa noted. "She's gotta be the right person."

"I suppose she's come to the same conclusion about us," said IF as the short woman walked up to the party.

"… So it's you four?" She leaned forward and scrutinised the party. At least, it looked like it. "You're gonna fight the monsters for me? Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"We all know not to judge books by their covers, right? Nice to meet you. I'm IF, that's Compa, that's Neptune-"

"Hi!"

"-and that's Jacob," introduced IF.

The woman nodded. "My name's Chian. I run a small factory called Passe in the central city. We need to get rid of the monsters attacking our carriages and train. You sure you can handle it?"

Neptune clenched her fists and curled her arms. "You betcha! We know how to fight so we'll totally be victorious!"

Chian chuckled and it looked like she was smiling. "I like you. That confidence makes it much easier for me to trust your words."

"So what monsters are we fighting?" asked Compa.

"Well, our trains and carriages are being attacked by Cockatrices. We'd like you to exterminate them," Chian explained.

"Hold on now," Jacob said quickly, "do you want us to take out every Cockatrice or just the ones attacking the trains and whatnot or what?"

"Uh…" Chian didn't see that question coming. "I just want you to go into a dungeon-"

"For God's sake…" Jacob held the bridge of his nose.

Chian huffed. "What's with him?"

"Please forgive him, Ms Chian," apologised Compa as she gave a slight bow. "He doesn't like dungeons at all."

"… But Gamindustri is covered in dungeons."

"Exactly," Compa sighed.

IF, as always, was eager to get on with it. "So you want us to go through one dungeon and take out the Cockatrices there? Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's it," Chian affirmed. "Follow me and I'll take you to the dungeon."

* * *

><p>The party arrived at a Cave #2 area.<p>

"Alright everyone," began IF, "we need to take out five Cockatrices for the mission. As is the case with all random encounters, just keep wandering around until we find them."

"Only five?" Jacob was surprised. "I would've figured we'd need to take out more than that."

"No, only five. We might encounter more but we only need to kill five."

"… I would comment on how that's stupid on Passe's part but, since this means less work, I don't care. Let's go."

And so the party wandered around the dungeon until they had a random encounter. This time around, they came across three humongous bees that had orange compound eyes, olive green skin, an orange abdomen and a white stinger.

Neptune sighed. "Alrighty gang, let's clean this up and-"

"_Bees!_" screamed Jacob before he unleashed his red death rays on the unsuspecting insects. After five seconds of this and the bees not dying, the girls decided to shoot them to death.

"What on Gamindustri was that?" asked IF.

"I. Hate. Bees," Jacob said slowly, still somewhat panicked. "They sting. It'll hurt. So much."

"Hey, hey," said Neptune as she approached Jacob and slowly patted him on the back. "It'll be okay. Those Hornets won't touch you as long as I'm here."

"They're huge. Fast. I don't wanna be stung."

"Chill out, Jacob." IF extended her daggers. "Neptune's right; we're all here, so they won't even touch us."

"…" Jacob smiled a bit. "Thanks. That's… kind of reassuring."

"Hey," called Compa from where the monsters were before they were killed. "They dropped an Earth Bullet. Now we can use Earth-elemental bullet attacks."

"Awesomesauce!" cheered Neptune. "Now we can defeat even more monsters than before!"

IF turned around. "Let's keep going. The sooner we find these Cockatrices, the sooner we get back to our room and we can play video games. Alright?"

"Okay but I want to play GiantSMALLWorld," said Jacob.

"Tough luck; we're playing CrasHburn."

"God damn it…"

* * *

><p>Five minutes had passed before the group finally found a Cockatrice. It appeared alongside a Hornet and it was only about one and a half Hornets tall. It looked like a large white skinny chicken with a huge red crown that…<p>

"What is that?" asked Jacob, pointing at the big dangly thing protruding from the top of the Cockatrice's crown.

"I don't know," answered Compa, "but it looks very weird."

"Doesn't matter." IF got into a fighting stance. "We have a job to do. Worry about the dangly thing later."

"Alright then," said Neptune as she loaded an Earth bullet into her revolver. "Let's do this nice and quick."

"Right!" Compa opened fire on the Hornet.

Jacob and Neptune took advantage of Compa pinning down the Hornet to take on the Cockatrice. Neptune engaged the bird in close quarters combat while Jacob kept firing energy balls and lasers at it whenever Neptune was out of the way. The Cockatrice didn't fight back at first but it lashed out at Neptune with its beak when it realised that its opponents weren't fighting fair. As Neptune and Jacob eventually killed the thing and made it burst into data with minimal damage taken, one could argue that this revelation didn't help the Cockatrice in the slightest.

"Good work," congratulated IF as she and Compa walked towards Jacob and Neptune.

"Thanks," said Jacob. "Can we go now?"

"I'm sorry Jake," apologised Compa, "but we still need to take out four more Cockatrices."

"Aw, come on…" Jacob groaned. "It took us, like, five minutes to find _one_. We'll be dead before we find five."

Neptune also looked impatient. "I agree; I'm cold and hungry and tired. Can't we do this any quicker?"

"Well…" Compa reached into her disc and pulled out her bell. "Maybe I can use this to call the monsters?"

"Do it," said IF. "I'm also tired and I want to finish this up."

"Okay." With that, Compa rang the bell a few times. After that, some malevolent balls of dark gas swarmed towards Compa and made their way inside her body by going to where her heart was.

"… What was that?" asked Jacob.

"Um, guys?" Neptune tugged on Jacob's jacket sleeve to make him turn around. He wished she didn't, because behind them stood a small army of Hornets and a few Cockatrices. His reaction was instinctive.

"_Bees!_" Again, he blasted the multitude of enemies with a giant red laser. However, as the laser was only six feet wide, quite a few Hornets were unscratched and started flying towards him very quickly.

"AH!"

"Get away from him!" In the blink of an eye, the Hornets that were flying towards Jacob were divided in two by Purple Heart's blade. "Jacob, are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah… Thanks."

"Don't worry." She didn't stop cutting down the Hornets that were flying around. "I will protect you. I will protect everyone."

Jacob took a deep breath. "Thank you, Neptune." A Hornet went flying towards him but Jacob quickly turned to take it out with a few energy balls. "Sorry for all the spazzing. Bees scare me."

"Happens to all of us!" called IF as she danced around the enemies advancing on her and cutting them down whenever an opening presented itself. One of the Cockatrices fell this way. "Except for me, mind you! I haven't really got an animal I'm scared of!"

"Compa!" Jacob fired more energy balls at the enemies advancing on Compa, who didn't have the agility or the agile weapon required to fend off such small fast-moving targets. Another Cockatrice fell because of this. Some Hornets tried to get behind Compa but a Cockatrice thrown by Purple Heart took care of that.

"That's all of them… I think…" Jacob panted.

"The monsters are numerous here," Purple Heart commented. "Makes things that much more entertaining…!"

Compa was in awe of Purple Heart, no doubt because of her Cockatrice throwing that spared Compa from a stinging. "Nep-Nep, you act so tough in that form. Why do you think there are so many monsters here?"

"Don't ask me, but how could this be caused by the diminishing power of the CPUs? Do their powers even weaken?"

"Well, their power comes from the faith of humanity," IF explained. "If the monsters keep attacking people, their faith will be shaken. Meaning less protection, more monster attacks, less people, less faith… It's a downward spiral."

Purple Heart exhaled softly. "That's succinct. So, as more time passes, more monsters will appear."

"I-I didn't think of it that way, but it makes sense. What do we do?" Compa asked, a bit worried.

"Don't worry. I'm here. Someone told me… I'm the only one who can save the world." Purple Heart clenched her fist. "I can save it. I'll prove it right now!"

IF looked annoyed. Compa, however, still viewed Purple Heart with awe. "She has the same sense of justice but this Nep-Nep's more reliable. I feel comfortable trusting her!"

"I agree she's an improvement over her casual, laid-back attitude… but am I the only one who can't stand her either way?" asked IF.

"Yes," answered Jacob. "Compa and I can put up with her fine. Don't worry; if you need a sensible ear to talk to, my door is always open."

"… Thanks, I guess."

"So is that it?" asked Jacob.

"There were only three Cockatrices in that horde," stated Purple Heart. "We need to kill one more."

Jacob sighed. "Okay, let's walk around a bit more."

"A lot more," corrected IF.

Jacob looked at her. "Come again?"

IF sighed. "Compa's bell, after being used, repels monsters and stops random encounters. It should wear off after about a minute."

Jacob was still as a statue.

"I think you broke him," whispered Compa.

Jacob started shaking.

"Uh oh," exclaimed Purple Heart.

Jacob threw his arms into the air. "_**WHA-**_"

* * *

><p>The party informed Chian that the job was done and received 1000 credits.<p>

Neptune was disappointed. "I know we just started, but that's sorta dinky for a reward…"

"I'm surprised you even know the value of money, given you have amnesia," commented Jacob.

"Oh, right!"

"I heard business isn't going well because a major company called Avenir is monopolizing their industry," explained Compa.

IF nodded. "I heard smaller businesses are closing down due to Avenir but I don't think that's the only reason."

Neptune was excited by this news. "Monopolising is bad, right? Then, like, that company is an evil conglomerate!"

"… Are you going to assault them if I agree with you? We can't just assume a company's bad because they're successful," IF reasoned.

"Thank God!" Jacob gestured to IF as if he was demonstrating a miracle. "Neptune, Compa, _this_ is rational sense personified! Listen to her because she will not guide us forever!"

IF sniggered a bit. "Thanks, Jacob."

Neptune, however, was more resolute. "But I can't ignore the fact that people are suffering 'cause of them! If I take down that company, a lotta people would be happy!"

"Neptune," Jacob started as he walked up to her, "you do know that people work at Avenir, right?

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, these people are pretty much the same as the business workers that don't work at Avenir. Working at Avenir or not, they need to make a profit. You say that a lot of people would be happy if Avenir was taken down but what about the people working there? They would be without jobs, Neptune. Where would they work?"

"A- I…" Neptune couldn't form a response.

"They're not evil, Neptune; they're people trying to earn a living, just like us."

"Nngh…" Neptune, after a few moments of trying to think of something to say, finally gave up. "Okay, okay. I won't take them down."

IF talked again. "Avenir aside, it'd be bad if our travelling budget ran out because of this horrible economy. Let's keep moving to other landmasses and think about what we can accomplish there."

"I don't think so," countered Jacob. "Monsters give out credits like they're infected or something. If we wind up in a tight spot, we'll just kill more monsters."

IF's eye twitched. "Fair point. However, I think we should get back to finding out where the Key Fragments are."

"IF, we have no clues and no direction. Let's just keep at this until we get somewhere."

IF facepalmed. "Fine, fine."

"Anyway, I want to go back to our room. It's been a long day and an even longer job and I want some rest."

"Me too," concurred Neptune.

"I suppose that's fair enough. Not to mention 1000 credits could probably get us some good dinner. Alright, let's call it a day."

"Yes!" Neptune high-fived Jacob as the party returned to their motel room.

* * *

><p><strong>And that concludes Chapter 9.<strong>

**I am getting sick to death of describing the visual aspects of the game. Why do RPGs want their stuff to be so detailed? It's a nuisance for us writers.**

**Anyway, Neptunia V... am I the only one who thinks that Iris Heart is going to turn out to be evil so Neptune will have to defeat her and be claimed the new goddess of Planeptune and it turns out the entire thing was a really weird time loop? Oh, who am I kidding; that would be an INTELLIGENT move on Idea Factory's part. No doubt she's the Token Evil Teammate who we're supposed to root for even though she sets on fire those robo-dogs that Neptune, Compa and IF found in Lastation.**

**Also... Nobuo Uematsu is composing the soundtrack. I imagine this will work out for his career like Rob Reiner's when he made North.**

**Why am I writing this fanfic when I hate this franchise so much?**

**Oh, and, by the way, GiantSMALLWorld is this place's LittleBIGPlanet (Jacob nearly took out an entire wall with that news) and CrasHburn is WipEout (this didn't cheese off Jacob as much).**


	10. And That Makes Five

**As I currently have holidays from Uni, I figured now would be a very good time to write and post the newest chapter. It doesn't feel very big but that's because I write maybe five paragraphs to explain a character pivoting their head. Anyway, review response time.**

****one who walks the path of fire: You're welcome. Also, dear lord, I just had the characters meet Black Heart! Have a bit of patience, my friend!****

******godofmadness43: Oh God, not you too.******

**********one who walks the path o****************f**************** fire****************: I haven't, sorry. However, I fail to see the comparison between food that can only be eaten if truly appreciated and how goddesses work in Hyperdimension Neptunia. Also, yeah, you're pretty much right on how faith works in this game but Jacob's just one person; his faith is about as effective as everyone else's.**********************

************Eyeshield: Already PMed you but let's recap here for those reading: Noire is just a dime-a-dozen Tsundere, I'd really like it if those people read this fanfic, I'm aware, whether this fic will actually have romance in it is up for debate, I'm definitely going to try my best to make the most out of wasted opportunities despite what I'm actually working with and thank you.************

************CheShireSmile******************: For the record, he's never used a bow before and he's never been to an archery class; he was just making a joke. Just thought I'd clear that up. No, Soren Fujou won't reappear because including him in this canon for srz will play havoc with the continuity. You can't picture Jacob, eh? Well, sorry; I don't really have a reference. I asked a friend of mine for a picture of Jacob for my birthday but it's been precisely two months and a day since my birthday and I still haven't gotten it. As for Iris Heart... I'm not denying it; she is SMOKING. Also, her wings are pretty cool. I do wonder what her weapon is, though. I think it's a whip sword. By the way, why do you splice ...s into your sentences?******************

************Eisenfaust: Truth be told, I think it's OOC for her to cry as well. However, I couldn't think of any other reaction. I know it was short but people kept asking for it and I thought it was a good opportunity. As for Jacob's laser attack, you'll find its name below (also, Jacob's a bit of a non-conformist; X-Beamer's a bit too generic for him). Don't worry; I doubt anyone's played Neptunia V yet. ************

**************NoirRenamon: You're welcome but... what do you mean by 'altered' your reviews? I certainly haven't done that, have I?**************

**************Next chapter.**************

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10: And That Makes Five<strong>

"Jacob, wake up," said IF as she nudged him the next morning.

"Nngh…" he groaned before opening his eyes. "What do you want…?"

"We're leaving in a few hours to talk with Chian. We haven't had breakfast yet and Compa said you could make pancakes. I said we should just have some sandwiches but Neptune and Compa are adamant on pancakes. Compa's run off to the store to get some flour because we don't have any."

Jacob groaned and forced himself out of bed. He was wearing his usual getup minus his jacket, shoes and socks. "Alright, alright…" Jacob yawned. Damn body clocks. "When'd she leave?"

"Just a minute ago," IF answered. "She won't be back for a while. I just wanted you good and awake for when she gets back."

"Fair enough…" Jacob did a few stretches.

Compa chose this moment to burst into the room, looking panicked as usual and yet still not out of breath. "Nep-Nep, IF, Jake! Bad news! Someone saw a monster prowling near town!"

"What…?" Jacob rubbed his forehead instead of making a snarky comment.

IF raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I heard from the people running away in fear. They said there were some others still left behind…" Compa stopped all of a sudden and looked around the room for something. "Huh? Where's Nep-Nep?"

IF looked a bit sheepish. "She locked herself in the bathroom this morning. The expired pudding she ate last night finally caught up with her."

Compa looked worried. "And I told her so many times not to eat it and just throw it away…"

IF looked at Jacob sternly. "Why didn't you tell her to? You're the one she listens to."

"Hey," Jacob started, waking up a bit. "I thought her immune system could take it. You know, with her being a goddess and everything."

IF didn't let up on her harsh stare. "Jacob, this is a game that borrows many recurring gags from anime and manga. Whenever the idiot eats something that's expired, it's going to make them go to the toilet. You should have seen this coming."

Jacob sighed. "You're right, I should have known…" Jacob hung his head in shame. "I'm sorry…"

"S-Sorry, guys…" Neptune called from the toilet, catching everyone's attention. "Go on ahead without me… I'll catch up later."

"Okay, we'll be going, but hurry up and finish in there!" Compa ran out the door.

"Ahh! W-Wait!" Neptune called but Compa was out of earshot.

Luckily for her, IF was still there. "What now?"

"I'm all outta TP…" Neptune responded quietly, clearly embarrassed. "Can you leave me a roll by the door?"

IF sighed before looking back at Jacob. "You coming?"

"Go on ahead." Jacob picked up his disc. "I'm gonna get dressed and get my stuff on."

"Alright then." IF left a roll of toilet paper outside of the bathroom before running out the door leading to the street.

* * *

><p>Compa and IF tracked the monster to the outskirts of a forest. A crude narrow path in the forest weaved through the trees and foliage and along the top of a cliff, from where one would be able to see mountains in the distance. It was an oddly natural area, given Lastation's highly industrial state.<p>

In any event, Compa and IF didn't care about the path, not when they were tired and exhausted from fighting their opponent. It seemed to be quite a large monster, slightly smaller than a Guard Vermin. It looked like it had a heavily armoured torso, two large bat wings and two thick legs. Its head, despite baring semblance to that of a snake's, was also thick and hard to penetrate, complete with a large backwards-pointing horn thing on its head. In all, it looked like an egg with rock plate armour, legs and wings. Behind it were a group of five civilians, all too injured to move away.

"What's up with this giant monster?" IF asked, her stance a bit off. "None of our attacks are working."

Compa looked very worried as she held her syringe a bit loosely. She was in worse shape than IF. "Nep-Nep isn't here, either. We really can't do this without her…"

IF looked at the apprentice nurse. She looked like she was about to fall into despair but she caught herself. "Compa," IF began, "we must stay strong. I'm sure she'll flush and help us out in the nick of time." IF gave a confident smile, complementing the determination that shined in her eyes. "Until then, we've got to protect the injured civilians!"

"Iffy…" Compa also smiled, her insecurities having vanished. "Okay!"

"Still," grumbled IF, "it'd be nice if Jacob got here already. That Wrecking Ball of his would come in handy."

Right on cue, a ball of force six feet in diameter shot into the monster from the air. It was a very powerful shot, like a punch thrown from a giant. While the monster did stagger for a bit, it, against all the odds, regained its footing.

"W-Wow…" Compa was definitely surprised. "It managed to withstand a Wrecking Ball…"

"Well, at least Jacob's here. Jacob! Can you…" IF looked to the sky but Jacob was nowhere to be seen. "Where did you go?"

"I'm here." Jacob flew back to the fight, wearing his jacket, shoes, gauntlets and jetpack. "Sorry about that; recoil and all. Thank God I have a jetpack. Anyway… is that monster really a silhouette? When did the artists get so lazy?" Jacob was right; the reason that the monster looked, seemed and bared semblance to the things mentioned above was that it wasn't possible to be sure due to it being a silhouette.

"Stop worrying about that!" snapped IF. "Can you use another Wrecking Ball?"

"I could but I don't think it'd be that effective. Maybe if I try aiming at the legs…" Jacob put his hands together again and shot another massive ball of force, this time at the monster's legs. However, the monster dodged.

_It dodged_.

"Ooh, it got lucky," noted Compa.

"Jacob, again!" IF called, forgetting that the recoil would have sent him back quite a distance. "… Damn it. Where the hell is Neptune?"

"Don't know, don't care!" shouted Jacob on his return. "Get it to move quickly! I'll fire a Wrecking Ball at its back and shove it over!"

"You sure, Jake?" called Compa.

"Compa-" Jacob dodged out of the way of the monster's fire breath. "Well, I've gotten better with this thing. Anyway, Compa, your attacks and IF's aren't working and I doubt my energy balls, lasers and Wide Roar will help any if my Wrecking Ball didn't knock it down. We're going to trip it up."

"Right!" Compa fired several shots at the head of the monster. Even though she only hit twice, it was sufficient to get the monster's attention. "Come and get me, Mister Monster!"

Jacob and IF both rubbed their faces.

Still, Compa's taunt was sufficient for the monster to leap over to Compa. Once it landed, its back was impacted by Jacob's Wrecking Ball, causing it to fall forward. Compa was too shocked by the monster's lightning speed to move out of the way but IF, not being fazed in the slightest, tackled her out of the way before the monster hit the ground.

"You okay, Compa?" IF asked as she looked down at Compa.

"Ah- I- That is- Y-Yeah, I'm fine…" stammered out Compa as she blushed madly.

"… What's up with- Oh!" IF pushed herself off of the ground so that she wasn't above Compa anymore. "Sorry… Anyway, monster's down, so let's attack the head."

"What about Jacob?" asked Compa as she stood up.

"He'll be back soon. Right now, we have to focus on the monster. Hyah!" IF cried out as she charged forward with her katara protruding from her sleeves. IF hacked and Compa shot away at the week point of the monster. After a minute or two of this, the monster simply got bored and breathed fire in IF's direction. IF dodged out of the way but her leg was caught in the fire breath.

"Iffy! Are you okay?" Compa asked as she inspected IF's leg.

"Yeah, I'm fine," IF answered as she tried to stand. "A bit of fire's not going to stop… me…"

The reason why IF's speech slowed was not because the monster was pushing itself off the ground but rather because it was pushing with its large, skeletal bat wings. In a few moments, it was back on its feet. At the very least, its face was heavily scarred. Unfortunately, it was also very miffed.

"You've got to be kidding me…" IF tried to get back into her stance but her leg kept it from being perfect. "Well, whatever!" She rushed forward again while Compa opened fire on the beast. The monster reared its head back and breathed fire towards IF. IF's leap was a bit sluggish that time and both of her legs were caught.

"AAH!" she screamed in pain as she hit the ground.

Compa rushed towards IF. "If-" Compa was batted away by the monster's wing. The monster gave a loud, throaty roar as it turned away from the girls and towards the injured civilians.

Compa was scared. "Oh, no! Iffy, the monster is-"

IF was definitely worried. "Crap, the people are over there…!"

Compa tried to stand up. "I can't… stand… any longer…"

IF endeavoured to do the same but she yielded the same results. "I… can't either…"

The civilians found themselves right before the monster. It leaned forward to smell them. "G-Go away!" cried a civilian that had neck-length hair and wore shoulder boards or epaulettes with their cloak as he threw a stone at the monster. The monster released a throaty growl in annoyance. It opened its mouth, ready to devour its meal.

"Hold it right there, villain!"

This shout caught everyone's attention, even that of the monster's, bizarrely.

"Who's there?" IF asked, surprised.

Jacob flew in again but he was very fatigued. Also, there was a cut on his cheek. "Argh… Damn it… That hurt..." He looked to his left. "Who's that…?"

A girl around Neptune, Compa and IF's age stood on top of the building to Jacob's left and IF's right. She wore a black bodysuit that had puffy white button sleeves and grey gloves and legs that went to the middle of her thighs. In the middle of the bodysuit was a vertical zipper that was unzipped to below her belly-button. She also wore a long red scarf, a pair of grey boots, large black-framed yellow goggle-glasses on her head, a small, navy blue box lined with yellow and a yellow star on its lid strapped to her right thigh and two criss-crossed bandages that covered her breasts (or lack thereof; she was comparable to a teenage boy). On her back was a backpack that looked like a blue penguin. Her spiky hair was long enough to go to her chest but it was worn with few curled strands hanging down with many spiked bangs. At the back of her head, one could see the big blue and red N shaped hair clip that held her hair in its particular style. She also had a visible left fang.

The girl flashed a peace sign down below. "The dashing heroine appears in a time of crisis! Leave it to Nisa, the sole keeper of justice in all of Gamindustri! Prepare to meet your maker, monster!" She jumped up high into the air. Everyone that kept their eyes on her had to look away as she rose to be right in front of the sun. "The one, the only, deadly Justice Kick!" Spinning in mid-air, she propelled herself towards the monster right foot first at breakneck speeds. Somehow.

"Compa, Iffy! Sorry for th-" Neptune picked a really bad time to show herself; while 'breakneck' doesn't really apply here, Nisa's kick still collided with the side of Neptune's face at very high speeds. "Blargh!" Neptune was sent flying towards Compa, who was very surprised.

"Nep-Nep! Goodness, are you okay?" Compa ran over to Neptune's unconscious form, apparently having gotten over the battering handed to her only moments ago. "Ooh, a kick straight to the face. That must have hurt."

"What're you doing, jumping right out in front of me?" Nisa shouted, both annoyed and embarrassed that her shining moment to look awesome had been negated. "I even called my attack so you'd know to wait, too!"

"If you don't mind me saying," started Jacob, "there's a _bloody giant monster near us waiting to kill everyone!_"

IF wasn't in high spirits at all. "She was our trump card… Compa, stop slapping her so much! Her face is already indented from that kick!"

"Sorry," Nisa apologised, not looking as haughty as before. "I went full-force on that one. She might wake up in a few weeks." She grinned and walked towards the monster. "I'll take care of this monster myself. Leave it to me!"

"Hey, hold on a sec," Jacob began.

Unfortunately, Nisa was one step ahead of him; with one powerful step, she propelled herself towards the monster like a torpedo. She span in the air so that her two feet were pointed at the monster. "HYAH!" When she made contact with the monster, she pushed with all her might. The monster was kicked a few meters away as she backflipped into the air and landed perfectly.

"Whoa…" Jacob was impressed. "I take it she's the strong one?"

"Huh?" Compa looked at Jacob.

"You know, you're the girly one, Neptune's the hero, IF's the sidekick, so Nisa's gonna be the strong one."

"Oh… okay then. So what are you?"

"I'm probably the lethal joke character. By that, I mean I'm normally a free kill but, when used right and given the proper equipment, I'm a game breaker."

"Oh, okay."

"She's really strong…" IF commented.

While the monster was getting up, Nisa just stood proudly before it with her arms crossed. "Get up more quickly!" she shouted. "I want this to be a fair fight." With vigour renewed by aggravation, the monster stood once more and breathed a large stream of fire at Nisa. The young hero nimbly dashed out of the way before leaping towards the monster's head and striking it with an axe kick, causing the monster to stumble. Nisa landed on the ground before spinning around and pulled out her star box a penguin-shaped gun. As the gun was larger than the box itself, Jacob guessed that the box used disc technology because it was only big enough to hold half of a disc vertically.

"Taste the blade of justice!" A katana blade of yellow energy emerged from the top of the penguin-shaped gun. She jumped into the air, spinning as she went, before slicing the monster diagonally with a loud "_HYAAAH!_" By the time Nisa landed on the ground, the monster had burst into data and disappeared.

Retracting the blade, Nisa span the penguin gun on her finger before putting it back in her star box. "That, ladies and gentlemen," she span around to face everyone with a large grin, "is what I call the triumph of justice!"

Compa was, much like the rest of the citizens, in awe. "W-Whoa… We didn't stand a chance, but she beat it up all on her own..."

Nisa's victorious expression vanished as she seemed to have heard something. "Hm? What's this? A cry for help? Then, I'm off. Up, up and awaaaaaay!" she shouted before jumping away like a mysterious protector in a magical girl anime.

"… This is Gamindustri, after all. So many different walks of life…" IF commented.

"Excuse me!" Jacob called as he flew after Nisa.

"What the- Hey, Jacob! Get back here!" IF shouted. "We still need you to make the pancakes!"

"I'll be back soon!" he returned. "And get self-raising flour!"

"Okay!" answered Compa.

"Compa, don't encourage him!"

* * *

><p>Nisa hopped along the rooftops with the ease of a superhero. "Never fear, citizens of Gamindustri! Nisa, the hero of justice, is here to-"<p>

"Hey! Nisa, was it? Excuse me!"

"… Who is that?" she stopped on the rooftop she was on and looked behind her. "Is that a flying monster?"

Jacob eventually caught up with Nisa and landed down in front of her. "Man, you're fast."

Nisa proudly took that as a compliment. "A hero has to be able to reach trouble quickly so that she can save the day. Say, you're that flying boy that was fighting that monster before, right?"

"Yeah. My name is Jacob. Nice to meet you." Jacob held out his hand for Nisa to shake. "I'm offering you a handshake, by the way."

"… Oh." Nisa shook his hand. "Good to meet you as well. You know, it's very surprising that you're a male who isn't a silhouette, and with such unique hair, too." She reached up to touch his hair but Jacob stopped her.

"With all due respect, I don't like it when people touch me unless I ask for it."

"Oh, okay. Sorry. Now, what did you want?"

"Well…" Jacob rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I… I was wondering if you'd like to join our party. I mean, you're very strong and you took out that monster almost without effort. You'd be a very good addition for our team."

"Oh, uh…" Nisa looked flattered but Jacob knew she'd turn down his request. "Sorry but I'm kind of busy. You know, being a hero of justice and all. Don't get me wrong; I'd love to join your party but the people come first."

"Well, what about this; my friends and I are going on a quest to all four landmasses to find the four Key Fragments so that we can rescue this person who is, in her words, "the world's everything". That apparently means saving her is saving the world."

Nisa raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "You don't know?"

"Well, the only one out of all of us who can communicate with her is Neptune because she's Purple Heart and-"

"Whoa! Stop right there!" Nisa looked like a deer caught in headlights. She wasn't scared, mind you; just surprised. "Did you say that _Lady Purple Heart_ is travelling with you?"

Jacob smiled. "Yup. She's the one who was assigned this world saving quest to begin with. The rest of us are just tagging along because we wanted to."

"Hm…" Nisa crossed her arms and thought about this. "The CPU of Planeptune… Saving the world… Will this keep the monsters back?"

"If not outright stop them."

"Okay then." Nisa pounded her right fist into her left palm. "I will gladly join you in your quest. But first, there that's call for help I have to take care of."

"I'll help you with that." Jacob hovered in the air. "Hell, if you want, I can carry you there. These gauntlets give me enhanced strength."

Nisa blushed, taken aback by Jacob's blunt offer. "Thanks but no, I'll be fine. Now follow me!" She jumped to the next roof as Jacob followed by air.

* * *

><p>"You know," IF started after she shut the door to the toilet while carrying a plunger and a clothesline peg kept her nose shut, "those cute and endearing little blue dolphins on the toilet paper stop being cute and endearing when you realise that their only purpose in life is to be used to wipe someone's bum."<p>

"Oh, hello Iffy," greeted Compa from the stove. "Did you get rid of the clog?"

"Yes," said IF. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, okay then. I made the pancakes."

"… I thought you were going to make steamed rice?"

"Yes but I don't have the equipment I need so I decided to stick with pancakes." Compa handed IF a fork, a knife and a plate with three pancakes on it, topped with honey. "Here you go."

IF took off the peg and tossed the plunger aside. "Ah, that smells nice. Thank you, Compa."

At that moment, Jacob and Nisa came in through the door. "Hey girls," said Jacob. "Guess who agreed to join our team."

"_What?_" Compa shouted. "M-Miss Nisa is joining us?"

"Why would you join us?" IF asked, also in shock.

Nisa grinned. "Well, since you're travelling with Lady Purple Heart to save the world, I figured that I should come along to save the day as well. It's a fitting task for a hero."

"Well… I don't have a problem with it." IF turned to Compa. "What do you think?"

"I'm okay with it," responded Compa with a smile. "My grandfather always said; 'The more, the merrier'".

"I'm the one that asked in the first place," stated Jacob, "so I don't have a problem."

"Then, Nisa, I guess you're part of the team," IF said. "But, you're okay with travelling with Purple Heart, even if she isn't your goddess?"

"Of course I am! My goddess or no, the world's in danger and Lady Purple Heart needs heroes to help her save it," Nisa pointed at herself with her thumb, "and who would be a better choice than Nisa, Gamindustri's keeper of justice?"

"Well, there we go," said Jacob. "I thought I was going to make the pancakes?"

"You were gone for ages so Compa took the initiative to make them," explained IF.

"Let me get yours. I made another plate for Nep-Nep when she woke up but you can have it, Miss Nisa." Compa stood up to get the plates from the side of the stove.

"Ooh, pancakes! A great way for me to start my journey with you! Anyway, when can I meet Lady Purple Heart?"

"I presume when she wakes up." Jacob took the plate, knife and fork that Compa offered him. "Thanks."

"Wait…" Nisa processed that information for a moment before a horrified expression made its way to her face. "Are you saying that the person I kicked out was _Lady Purple Heart?_" Even with that realisation, she still took the plate of pancakes offered to her.

"Hey, don't worry; she won't hold it against you." He took a bite out of his pancakes. "Whoa, these are good. What'd you use, Compa?"

Compa smiled. "Oh, I just used a cup of self-raising flour, a cup of milk and one egg. I also added some sugar to give it some more flavour."

"Really? That's it?" Jacob took another bite. "Apart from the sugar, that's all I use. What'd you do?"

"I just beat the ingredients in a bowl before pouring it into the frying pan."

"That's all I do, too. You must have a magic touch."

Nisa gasped.

Jacob, IF and Compa turned to face her. "What's wrong?" Jacob asked.

"This… this…" Tears started streaming down Nisa's face. "This is the most divine breakfast I have ever eaten! Truly fit for a heroine like myself!"

"These are really good," stated IF. "You're a very good cook, Compa."

Compa blushed. "Thank you so much, Iffy and Miss Nisa."

"No formalities are needed; just Nisa will do." Nisa kept eating her pancakes.

"Hey, Neptune's waking up," commented IF.

"What? Really?" Nisa looked over at the bed where Neptune was stirring. "Well, what do you know? A CPU can recover from my Justice Kick in no time at all."

"She was unconscious for half an hour," responded IF.

"That's lucky; normally, they're out for a couple of weeks."

"Owwies…" groaned Neptune as she sat up and rubbed the side of her bandaged head. "I feel like I had a fat red plumber jump on my head, followed by a green plumber, then an orange mushroom and finally a blue mushroom…"

"Bad video game jokes aside," started Jacob, "we have a new member for our party."

"What? Really?" Neptune immediately shook off her headache and tore off the bandages and looked at Nisa. "Wow! Who are you?"

"I am the bane of all evil. I am the one that citizens turn to in Gamindustri's darkest hour. I am the one who destroys the darkness of Gamindustri. I am…" Nisa punched the air, "… Nisa, the heroine of justice!"

"Do you have to declare that every single time?" Jacob asked.

"She wasn't awake at the time," Nisa answered.

"A super hero?" Neptune had stars in her eyes. "That's fantastic! How strong are you?"

"She managed to take out the monster that troubled Compa, Jacob and I in no time at all. She's extremely strong," replied IF.

"Whoa! This is totally awesome! I'm Neptune, by the way. Good to meetcha."

Nisa bowed respectfully. "It's good to meet _you_, Lady Purple Heart. As soon as Jacob told me that you were travelling the world to save it, I simply couldn't say no."

Neptune was clearly not used to having someone bow to her. "Oh, uh… don't worry about bowing to me, Nisa. We're all the same level here."

Nisa looked confused. "… Really? That's not a reaction I was expecting from a CPU."

Jacob sighed. "Yeah, there's a lot more going on here than you know. Let's start from the start…"

* * *

><p>The original four of the party took about ten minutes to explain the entire adventure to Nisa, including Neptune's amnesia, what Jacob knew of what happened to Neptune before she fell to Jacob's world, what Jacob knew of Arfoire, what Neptune knew about Histoire, the Key Fragments, Gamindustri being a video game and Jacob's origins. In the mean time, Compa got a plate of pancakes for Neptune, which she finished in no time at all.<p>

Predictably, this was a lot for Nisa to take in.

"Whoa…" she exclaimed as she held her head.

"Sorry about that expositional onslaught but it's best that you know everything before going with us," said Jacob.

"No, it's okay, it's just… wow, we're actually in a video game? All those jokes we make about fetch quests and grinding are actually the truth?"

"All of it," responded IF.

Nisa breathed out. "Well… that's a shocker."

"You're alright?" asked Jacob.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Nisa made a bicep polishing gesture. "Now when can we go adventuring?"

IF opened her phone. "Chian of Passe's invited us to talk with her at her factory in two hours. Now, what do we do to pass the time?"

Neptune raised her hand. "I wanna play games."

Jacob turned to Nisa. "Hey, Nisa?"

"Hm?"

"I was wondering… could you teach me martial arts?"

Neptune, Compa and IF looked at Jacob in intrigue.

Nisa was also surprised. "What?"

"You fought extremely well against that monster, whatever it was, with your hands and fists. I'd like to be able to do that and I'd like you to teach me."

"Well…" Nisa smiled. "Alright then, you are now my apprentice. Before we begin your training, we must make a few stops along the way. Alright?"

"Alright." Jacob followed Nisa out the door. "We'll be back soon."

"Be back here in time!" IF called as they exited the door.

* * *

><p>IF opened the door leading into the factory and entered with the rest of the party. The factory was very orange because of the lights and it was also very spacey and clean, which was kind of weird when Jacob remembered that he was in Lastation, the land of black lungs. Taking up most of the space were storage units and generators of varying sizes and shapes. There was a conveyor belt carrying shoulder-mounted missile launchers on one side of the factory and a group of even larger missiles on the left, all standing upright. With the large computers complete with multi-coloured lights and levels, the walkways and the steel supports, it definitely looked like a factory. A fake factory that had all this equipment just to keep up appearances but a factory nonetheless.<p>

"This is Chian's factory…?" Neptune asked no one in particular.

From the side, Chian walked up to the group. "Oh my goodness… is that Nisa?"

Nisa grinned and stood straighter. "That's me; Gamindustri's champion."

"Wow!" Chian walked briskly up to Nisa and shook her hand. "It's an honour to meet you! I'm Chian. I read every news story and listen to every broadcast by 5pb about your exploits and I'd just like to say thank you very much for all you've done. You are a hero to every person in this factory."

Nisa's grin kept getting wider as her ego kept getting filled. "All part of my work, Miss Chian. In any event, if I don't uphold justice in Gamindustri, who will?"

"She really likes this attention," Neptune said to IF.

"I think that, if I were to go out of my way to help every single person in the world with their problems and not charge them a single credit, I'd like a bit of recognition myself," IF responded.

Chian continued. "If you don't mind be asking… why are you holding that boy under your arm?"

Under her arm, Nisa was carrying Jacob like a giant doll. Jacob was very still and he looked like he had the worst itch in the world that he couldn't scratch. "Oh. Well, I took him as my apprentice so that he too will be able to fight evil but I went a bit hard on him on his first day of training."

"My arms and legs are in excruciating amounts of pain," Jacob complained. "She tried to make me bench press a car."

"Hey, I've learned my lesson and we won't do that again. Okay?"

"So what do you do here, Chian?" asked Neptune.

Chian turned to Neptune. "It's a small factory, I know. Still, we make everything from kitchenware to missiles."

"What?" said Jacob. "What does that mean? You make everything that starts with the letters K, L and M?"

"Jacob, shut up," responded IF before turning to Chian. "Let's get to the discussions."

"Good idea. Let's get cozy before we talk, though. Follow me."

* * *

><p>"Sit anywhere you like. This is my home."<p>

Chian's "home" turned out to be a small Japanese-looking restaurant. It had wooden tables and chairs as well as wooden walls below wooden bars that framed large squares of beige plaster. There was a bar with six barstools that separated the waiting area from the small kitchen that seemed to have the bare cooking essentials. One thing that was weird was that there was a cupboard holding some dishes and a toaster but it was on the waiting area's side rather than the employees-only kitchen side. Next to the cupboard was a vending machine for drinks.

"Cool! Dibs on the barstool!" Neptune, who clearly loved the restaurant already, raced to the bar and took her place on one of the middle stools.

"Please put me on a table, stomach down," Jacob requested of Nisa, who politely obliged. "Thanks."

"It's so neat having a restaurant next to your office. You can drink whatever you want!" As Neptune talked, Compa, IF and Nisa sat down on the barstools, leaving only the end stools empty.

Chain was behind the bar. "Yeah, since it's my house. Having one business isn't enough for living expenses, so my mother helps me around here." Chian sighed. "I really did have to get two jobs in Lastation. There's just not enough work since Avenir was established."

This fired up Neptune. "So, Avenir IS bad! Everyone in town, including you, is suffering because of them, right?"

"They're not just 'bad'!" Chian was also angry. "They took all of our clients… They're monsters! Even the goddess and her Basilicom just turn a blind eye and let them do whatever they want."

"How evil," spoke Jacob. "They do a better job than you and everyone goes to them as a result. How could they possibly commit the illegal act of being more popular and profitable than you? They truly are monstrous."

"What is wrong with you?" Chian shouted. "They'll eventually take over this entire landmass if we don't do something about it!"

"Jacob, as your sensei, I find your behaviour unacceptable." Nisa crossed her arms. "Don't you see that Lastation won't find peace with Avenir breathing down their necks? We must defeat them!"

Compa looked concerned. "What should we do? It's not going to be as easy as it sounds. How do we 'defeat' an entire company, anyway?"

"… We won't go down easily," responded Chian. "Plus, we've got the Technology Expo this year."

Such an event was unknown to Compa. "What's that? Is that like a festival?"

"Oh, you, Jacob and Neptune have never been to Lastation, right?" IF turned to Chian. "I'm sorry but can you explain?"

Chian may or may not have smiled. "Explaining a worldview or culture can't really be avoided in RPGs."

The party looked at each other awkwardly.

"This might be a boring narrative but bear with me. The Expo takes place in Lastation every four years. Various companies showcase new technologies under a common theme. It's for people to network, or exchange information and skills. The best item gets a trophy from the CPU!"

"A trophy? What an achievement!" exclaimed Compa.

"Lame," called Jacob.

"Shut up," responded IF.

"So can we defeat Avenir with a trophy?" Compa finished.

Chian shook her head. "We'll aim for the goddess. We'll showcase at the Expo, win, and meet with her for a negotiation!"

"That sounds like a good idea, but what are you going to tell her? I doubt telling her that Avenir is too good and the game's not fun anymore is going to help you out and I very much doubt that you can ask her to just get rid of Avenir entirely. Come to think of it, what is your main goal, anyway?" asked Jacob.

"Isn't it obvious? Avenir dominates too much of the market. If we show that Avenir's growth will be harmful to Lastation, she'll do something about it."

Jacob groaned. "I'd argue with you more but I'm a bit tired, given my arms and all. God damn it, this hurts."

"Hang on, I think I have something for sore muscles. Excuse me." Chian walked out the nearest door.

IF turned to Jacob. "Jacob, I know it's in your nature to point out how things don't make sense but, for the sake of Chian, who may or may not be going bankrupt, can you lay off for a bit?"

Jacob sighed. "Fine… I still think this whole mess is incredibly contrived, though."

"I agree with you. However, Chian's a bit sore about it so let's be sensitive, alright?"

"Okay, okay, I promise I won't make any more jabs at the stupidity of this whole subplot."

"Good."

Chian returned with a bottle filled with a dark green liquid. "Here's something."

"Oh, I know what that is," said Compa. "We use it all the time at the hospital."

Chian may or may not have raised an eyebrow. "You work at a hospital?"

"Yes, Miss Chian. I am an apprentice nurse."

"Good." Chian gave Compa the bottle. "Then you know how to use it."

"Indeed." Compa walked over to Jacob and took out her syringe. "This might hurt a bit, Jake, but it'll be over quickly," she assured him as she opened the bottle and used the syringe to draw the liquid out of it.

"I trust you. Just get it over it and make sure that you inject into my body the fluid and not your bullets. How does that thing fire bullets, anyway?"

"It's a syringe made from advanced Planeptune technology."

"You're from Planeptune?" Chian asked, surprised.

"Yeah," answered Neptune. "Why, is there a problem with that?"

"Oh, no, not at all. I was just surprised that we have people from Planeptune come to Lastation instead of the inverse for once."

"Nngh!" Jacob grimaced as Compa stuck the needle into his bicep. "Damn it, that hurts!"

"Jake, calm down!" Compa would have placed a reassuring hand on his back but the syringe was a bit heavy for that. "It'll be okay!"

"Anyway, about the Expo?" said IF to get back on track.

"Ah, right. Anyway, it's going to be tough and I already need to begin making arrangements. I actually asked you here today to discuss just that."

"Nope," said Neptune quickly. "We won't cosign any of your loans."

"I wish I knew about finance so I could get that joke- nngh!" Jacob grimaced again as the needle was stuck into his thigh.

"Heh," went Chian. "It's not about money. We need to transfer tools and materials, but with the monsters still… We'd risk our lives for a single screw! I'm just warnin' you but we'll probably be asking for your help more often."

"Nngh!"

"Shut up!" IF called to Jacob.

"Ah, I getcha. You want us to make sure that you don't get distracted by monsters while prepping for the Expo," reiterated Neptune.

"You're right! I'm glad you're such a quick little thinker. I'm counting on you."

"Nngh!"

"Okay, that's it," said Compa as she put away the syringe and pulled out two bottles. "Jacob, have some Dextonin and Gelatin."

"All right…" answered Jacob weakly before Compa poured the potions down his throat one at a time, bit by bit.

"So is there anything else you need or are we done here?" asked IF.

"No, that's all I wanted to say. Still, be careful of Avenir. Who knows what they're up to?"

"No need to worry, Chian." Nisa had a fire in her eyes. "Avenir's evil grasp will not stop us in the slightest. We fight on the side of justice. We will not fail!"

"It's very encouraging to hear that from you of all people, Nisa. I hope all goes well for you five."

"Jacob's walking again," Compa informed everyone as Jacob sat up on the table.

"Yeah, I feel much better. Thanks, Chian."

"Don't mention it. Now, since you're here, do you want something to eat? It'll cost you, though; I can't exactly afford to give out meals for free."

"Actually, we kind of have a job to go to but thanks for the offer," answered IF.

"Fair enough. Take care."

* * *

><p>"It's good to be able to walk again," remarked Jacob as he did a few stretches outside Passe.<p>

"Don't worry, my pupil; we won't do anything that ridiculously strenuous again. I'm sorry for overestimating you; I'll make sure to take baby steps next time. On that, you can trust me." Nisa gave a proud I-would-never-lie-to-you smile.

"Thanks, Nisa."

"Call me Sensei."

Jacob smiled. "Thanks, Sensei."

"So where's our next job?" asked Neptune.

IF sighed. "Neptune, I'll be truthful; you're not gonna like this. Neither are you, Nisa."

Neptune, Compa and Nisa seemed confused. Jacob, however, knew what was coming up and facepalmed.

"You've gotta be kidding me…"

* * *

><p><strong>In case you ask, yes, I love Nisa. She's competing with IF for the position of Jacob's Favourite Character In The Series. Not only is she pretty cool, she's also strong and entertaining. In fact, I find the regular human characters (Compa, IF, Cave, Falcom, 5pb, etc.) much more entertaining than the goddesses, which is why I'm confused as to why the goddesses are constantly pushed in the game advertisements. I mean, Neptune's gone to another dimension in <span>Neptunia V<span> (let's put aside her drastically different HDD form for the moment) and she's basically questing there with the past goddesses and Iris Heart. Bugger that; I want to see what IF and Nisa are up to. Have they formed search parties for Neptune? What's going on in the Mk2 dimension after Neptune's disappearance that isn't dissimilar to Jacob's? The political ramifications of a goddesses' mysterious disappearance would be absolutely delicious to watch.**

**By the way, I'm having difficulty telling whether the correct term for Black, Purple, Green and White Heart is CPU or goddess. I think the two terms are interchangeable in this context but I'm not completely sure. Not that I think anyone at all cares, least of all Idea Factory or Compile Heart; it's just something that's nagging me.**

**You know, for the longest time, I couldn't imagine Neptune talking without shouting. I always felt it was just her nature to shout everything she said. After listening to her Japanese voice (not the English voice, god no), I've been mildly snapped out of this.**

**Anything else to say... no, not particularly. Have a good day, everyone.**

**Oh, yeah: anyone know why two of the names in the review replies at the top of this chapter refuse to be highlighted?**


	11. Two Adversaries, One Day

**Ha ha! Not even a week has passed since my last chapter and I already have a new one up! It's amazing what I can do when I put my mind to it. Don't expect this to happen again, though. Anyway, review responses... only four? Eh, well, I can't really complain.**

**Eisenfaust****: How about THIS? └**(°ᵕ°)┘ Actually, that's a good question: when DOES Neptune learn Neptune Break? Also, I read Bleach. It sucks. And no, I'm not crossing over with any anime or anything else; the most branching I'll ever do with this fic is including cameos of other OCs of Hyperdimension Neptunia fanfics that I've read (with the author's permission, of course) and shout outs.****

****Moondrag: Aw, thanks, man. :3 In any event, I just think the goddesses are much less entertaining and likeable than the humans. I think this is because we see much more of Compa and IF than we see of Noire, Vert and Blanc. Plus, Neptune's actions and dialogue have absolutely no basis in common social conventions; it's like she's an alien or something.****

****godofmadness43: Indeed it does.****

****Eyeshield: Normally, I'd recap what we discussed but, seeing the length of your review... bother that nonsense.****

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11: Two Adversaries, One Day<strong>

The party was waiting at a forest clearing that may or may not have been the battleground with the Egg Dragon, named by Jacob after Compa revealed that "cutscene monsters are never documented". Nisa and Neptune looked highly agitated, Compa looked a bit nervous, Jacob was rocking back and forth in boredom and IF, even though she looked more or less indifferent, definitely felt the glares of the two most powerful members of the party.

"IF, I understand that one cannot save the world on an empty stomach or an empty wallet. However, I find taking a job from Avenir shameful, humiliating and in direct opposition to the justice that I stand for." Nisa's posture seemed composed but her face made it apparent she was barely holding back from ripping IF apart.

IF sighed. "I'm sorry but this was the highest paying job available at the time. If there was anything else, trust me when I say I would've chosen that instead."

Jacob spoke up. "I'm actually looking forward to this. We've all heard how 'evil' Avenir is but we've never met anyone who works there in person. Finally, we can see for ourselves what the president and, by proxy, the rest of the company is like."

Neptune seemed to like that answer. "Jacob's right; no amount of reviews can measure up to first-hand experience."

"… Does _everything_ come back to abstract video game references that really don't make sense given the context?"

"Yes," replied the girls.

"Damn it."

"There's our client," IF pointed out.

A man approached the party. As he was a silhouette, the only thing that could be determined about his appearance was that his hair was slicked back and his posture was tall and powerful.

The man didn't say a thing, possibly scrutinising the party.

"Good afternoon, Mister Singe," Jacob greeted with a smile. "My name is Jacob. These are my friends Neptune, Compa, IF and Nisa, the last of which you may recognise. We have taken the monster hunting job offered."

Singe did not respond. He kept looking at the whole party closely. Compa looked a little bit unnerved.

He sighed. "… I don't have a choice," he finally stated. "I need you to eliminate all the surrounding monsters while I inspect a plant by the city outskirts. Don't let any run loose and cause damage to the facility. Get moving." Without another word, he turned and left.

"What's his problem?" Compa was annoyed, which was quite rare. "He must be underestimating us because of our looks. How rude!"

"It's inevitable when you and Neptune are around," IF responded.

Compa was taken aback by that jocular statement. "Iffy, you're not one to talk when you're that short… and without boobies."

"_EXCUSE ME?_" Nisa was instantly in front of Compa with a face that would frighten Arfoire and a fire in her eyes. "Do you mock our elegant chests? I'll have you know," Nisa drew her gun and extended the blade, "that we who are modestly endowed can have the strength of ten buxom women!"

"Eep!" went Compa.

"Hey hey hey hey hey!" Jacob quickly stepped between the two. "Ladies, let's not fight over something so trivial; we have a job to do. Nisa, you're the most powerful member of this team. Don't let those comments get to you."

"What about me?" asked Neptune. "I can transform and get big, beautiful-"

"You're a goddess and you're in your own league," Jacob interrupted. "We're talking about humans and, as far as that goes, Nisa exceeds all of us as she was able to take on the Egg Dragon with her bare hands and feet."

Nisa's wrath had completely died to be replaced with pride. "That's absolutely right, my pupil; us adequately breasted girls can be every bit as powerful as the mightiest stupidly large breasted girl!"

Jacob facepalmed. "That's not the point… The point is that your cup size has absolutely nothing to do with your physical aptitude."

"Can we _please_ get back to the job at hand?" asked IF loudly.

"Right, sorry. Anyway," Jacob activated his jetpack, "I'll take to the skies and keep an eye out for the monsters. Nisa-"

"Sensei," Nisa reminded him.

"Right, sorry. Sensei, IF, you two are fast so circle the area and cut off any monsters that try to escape. Neptune, Compa, just walk around and take out any monsters you come across. I'll tell you where the monsters are by striking them with my lasers. Alright?"

"Sounds good to me," answered IF.

Compa nodded. "That sounds like a good plan."

Nisa sniffed.

"… Sensei, are you okay?" Jacob asked.

"My pupil's a tactical genius…" Nisa wiped a tear from her eye. "He's growing up so quickly… I'm so proud of you, Jacob…"

"…" Jacob smiled. "Thanks, Sensei."

"Alright everyone, let's clear 'em out!" Neptune cheered.

* * *

><p>Neptune wiped some sweat from her forehead. Nisa had joined her and Compa about a minute ago. "I think that's all of them." Neptune looked up. "Hey, Jacob! Any others?"<p>

"Not as far as I can tell. I'm gonna stay up for another minute or so to make sure. I've asked IF to keep alert at the edge to make sure that any that we missed don't scurry off."

IF approached the party. "Okay, I've been patrolling for two minutes and I haven't seen a single other monster. We've definitely killed the lot of them."

Neptune smiled. "Awesome! Good job, everyone!"

Compa was in high spirits. "We did really well today."

"And the Super Dimension Game Party saves the day again!" triumphantly shouts Nisa. "I knew I made the right decision to join your group."

"We're very lucky and thankful to have you in our party, Nisa," Compa responded.

"Here he comes," said IF in regards to Singe, who approached the party. Everyone turned to him in response.

"The inspection is complete. Are you kids done, too?" Singe looked around. "And where's the boy?"

"Up here, sir," Jacob answered before landing. "And yes, all monsters have been exterminated."

Singe's professional posture remained, whether because that was normal for him or he just wasn't surprised. "Really? You sure you didn't miss any?"

Neptune looked really proud of herself. "It's all good when I'm on the prowl! We even took out the boss-like one so I'll betcha that they'll stay away for a while."

"Good." As always, Singe's tone was unchanging and all business. "However, if even one remains and it damages the facility, we will never conduct business with you again."

"Th-That's a bit harsh. Why can't you just repair the facility if that happens?" Compa asked.

"Compa, we were hired in the first place to make sure they didn't have to. I imagine the reward for us helping them is substantially less than how much it'd cost to repair the plant in the event it got damaged," Jacob explained.

"Oh. That makes sense."

IF spoke up. "Anyway, about our payment?"

"It will be forwarded to your accounts." Again, Singe left without saying his farewells.

"The President of Avenir… Given his cold attitude, those 'evil' claims are beginning to hold water," Jacob noted.

"I know, right?" Neptune huffed. "The nerve of that guy."

"Let's go back for now," said IF. The party wordlessly agreed and followed IF out of the forest.

* * *

><p>"Finally, we're back." Jacob sighed in relief at the front of the motel. "I want to get some rest."<p>

"Oh no, you don't." Nisa grabbed onto the bottom of Jacob's jacket. "We have training to do."

"Aw, but Nisa," Jacob whined, "we already trained this morning! Not to mention I still haven't quite recovered from you trying to make me do full splits in mid-air."

"We're not going to do something that extreme again, okay? We're just going to take baby steps this time. Now, come on; there's a good open area nearby."

"We'll come, too," said Compa. "I want to see how this training goes."

IF shrugged. "Not like we've got anything better to do."

"Also, Jacob, I acquired some things for you that will prove useful for your training." Nisa reached into her box and took out two very small dumbbells, one after the other. "Use them when you are not busy; they're a good way to build up strength."

"Okay." Jacob took a dumbbell in each hand and began doing bicep curls as the party walked.

* * *

><p>Nisa's destination turned out to be a wide open junkyard. Scattered around were various discarded… "items" for lack of a better word, such as a swimming pool, construction pipes, playgrounds, vehicles and more, all of which were at least half covered in rust and not safe to use. The asphalt only covered the ground on the left of the junkyard; it was broken in the middle, leaving only dirt, and to the right of it was, bizarrely, grass with, even more bizarrely, some healthy bundles of flowers here and there. Also in sight were tall buildings and smoke-emitting factories.<p>

"I have no idea where to start with this," began Jacob, his dumbbells tucked inside his disc. "I mean, why are those apartment buildings even in the same area as the factories? That can't be healthy, especially since that smoke is at least as high as the highest rooms, meaning they're not getting any healthy air. Who designed this bloody landmass?"

"Jacob, as admirable as your knowledge of practical architecture is, we should get this lesson underway," Nisa said, settled into her teaching role. "Now, as this is your first _proper_ lesson, I believe we should work on simple exercises of power."

"Actually, I was wondering if you could teach me how to disarm someone," Jacob requested.

Nisa raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah, just in case some random schmuck runs up to me with a knife or holds me at gunpoint. I want to be able to defend myself if that ever happens."

"Very well, that is fair enough." Nisa took out her prinny gun. "Now, the first thing you should know is that there are different preferred methods of disarming someone with a gun and someone with a melee weapon. As most citizens of Gamindustri specialise with melee weapons, let us begin with that." Nisa walked behind Jacob with the yellow energy blade extending from her firearm. "Okay, on the occasion someone has you in a position like this…"

IF turned to Neptune and Compa, who were sitting next to her on the pipe about ten meters away from the training session. "Hey, have you heard about the mysterious monsters appearing in Lastation?"

"Ooh, are they tough? Super tough? What kinda monsters are they?" Neptune asked, eager to fight a powerful opponent.

"I was told they attack in groups while making weird noises," IF responded.

Just then, something made a weird noise.

"And… I think I heard a weird noise just now…" said IF slowly.

"What was that?" asked Jacob as he held Nisa's arm over his shoulder with the underside facing upwards.

"It's nothing, don't worry. Now, you know that pulling my arm down's gonna hurt me because the arm shouldn't bend backwards, right?"

"Huh?" Neptune strained to hear the weird noises but she couldn't. "Oh, phsaw! Don't try to scare us like that."

"I-I hear it, too…!" Compa switched to nervous mode again. "It's coming from every direction!"

"Okay, seriously, what is that?" Jacob asked again.

"Don't worry; they're not going to hurt you. Now, when you've elbowed your assaulter in the gut…"

"Are we surrounded? Is it an ambush?" IF slid off of the pipe and switched her katara out. "E-Everyone, get ready?"

"It's fine, don't worry!" Nisa assured the girls. "They're just robot dogs!"

Neptune, Compa and IF looked at Nisa. Jacob just kept looking straight ahead because Nisa was behind him. "… Huh?"

"Arf! Arf, arf!"

From the surrounding junk, a multitude of toy robot dog silhouettes that looked like AIBOs came out and approached the girls. One of them went up to Neptune. "Arf!" it went before whimpering.

"Phew…" IF retracted her weapons.

"… Aren't these the robotic pets that were popular a few years back?" Compa asked as she crouched down to look at a couple of dogs that were sitting in front of her.

"Huh? I never knew nothin' about it," said Neptune.

"That's because you're an amnesiac, Neptune," Jacob noted as he let go of Nisa's arm. "Sensei, you know these things?"

"Yeah." Nisa crouched down to pet a couple of them. Most of the rest of them decided to get close to her. "I come here often to practice new techniques that I learn after levelling up. These pet robots were abandoned by people after the trend died down and ended up here. They're good companions for relaxation after a hard day's work."

"They're not threatening at all." Neptune petted the head of the dog that stayed in front of her. "Look at how they're wagging their tails and being all nice and stuff!" The dog whimpered in delight at Neptune's affection. Neptune chuckled. "There, there. I know you're just lonely, ArfArf. It's okay, come over here to Mama Neptune…"

"Seems they've found their newest pack member…" IF commented before she felt her phone rumble in her pocket.

Jacob sighed. "Well, now I feel sad."

"Why, Jake?" asked Compa.

"Well, these dogs have been abandoned and left to rot in this dump and all they want is a home. I want to take them with me-"

The dogs all snapped their heads towards him at once.

"- but I can't."

The dogs whimpered in disappointment and hung their heads.

Nisa thought for a moment. "Well, why don't you just take them in your disc?"

"I know I can do that but that's not the problem. Where are we going to find the money to replace their batteries?"

Nisa smiled. "You don't need to worry about that, my student! These canines run on batteries of the DuraDuraDuracell brand! They last thirty times longer than Caffeniser Ton-Duty batteries and the dogs are smart enough to replace their own batteries if they run short."

"Wait, what? How the hell can they do that? How can they hold the screwdriver, much less use it to open their battery ports?"

Nisa waved her hand dismissively. "Details. Now, do you want them or not?"

"I do!" Compa bent down towards the dogs. "Would you all like to come with us?" All at once, the dogs barked and rolled over to Compa. "Well, come on in!" One by one, she picked up the dogs and put them in her disc. Jacob did the same and so did Neptune, starting with the one she named ArfArf.

"Well, this party just got livelier," IF noted. "Oh, by the way, Chian called. She wants to talk with us at her restaurant about our most recent job with Avenir."

"Huh?" Neptune was confused. "How did she know about that?"

"I don't know but let's go talk with her anyway. She also said she has a job for us."

"Yahoo! More money incoming! Let's go, everyone!"

Nisa turned to Jacob. "After this, we'll practice disarming a bit more." She then sighed. "If we keep progressing through the plot at this rate, we'll never get your training done."

Jacob took out his dumbbells. "I'm sure an opportunity will come around sooner or later, like waiting for a landmass or something. Anyway, let's move."

* * *

><p>"Hiya!" shouted Neptune as she burst into Chian's restaurant once more and sat at the counter with the rest of the party. "Aw, I feel so at home… This dirty counter, the small, confined rooms… The smell of food baked into the walls!"<p>

Jacob looked at the counter closely while rubbing his bicep. "… Dirty?"

"Shut up!" retorted Chian. "Did you meet Singe? What did you think? Isn't he horrible?"

"We didn't really talk much," IF answered. "He gave us a job, we did it, he told us that he won't work with us again if we screwed up and then he left."

Jacob continued. "As far as we can tell, though, he's a bit of a jerk. Given that he's the president of Avenir, they might be bad guys after all."

"… Really?" Chian didn't seem to be expecting that. "He didn't rant on about how you were imperfect or something, or the superiority of machines?"

"… No, he didn't," Jacob answered, confused. "Why, is that normal?"

"Pretty much." Chian crossed her arms. "He's entirely against manual labour."

"You've met him before?" Neptune asked.

"Naturally. He represents the whole company. He's also one of my old school's alumnus."

Jacob stuck up his hand. "The word you're looking for is 'alumni', which is the plural of alumnus."

"Jacob, cut that out," said Neptune.

"Not my fault the writers can't even use a spellchecker."

"Anyway," said Chian through gritted teeth, determined to drive this conversation back on its proper road, "I saw him when he came to lecture a class. I bet he just prattled on about how precise machines are and whatnot."

"You 'bet'? Are you telling me you slept through the lecture?" Jacob asked.

Chian was flustered. "W-Well, so what if I did?"

"He didn't say anything like that when we talked to him," said Compa.

"Guess he didn't have the opportunity." Chian crossed her arms. "He doesn't approve of any technician's skill or pride. I despise him, but that's not the only reason. But enough of that. Let's talk about getting you another job. I need you to go to the next town and pick up some materials from Chevre. Here." She gave Neptune a rolled-up large piece of paper. "It's the map to his shop."

Neptune put it away in her hammerspace. "Thanks. Don't worry; we'll get those materials lickity-split!"

"… Broading public information from the Basilicom." Everyone turned to the radio that just started.

"How long's that been on?" Jacob asked.

"Shh!" IF nudged Jacob slightly.

The broadcast continued. "After discussions amongst the Basilicom representatives, the Tech Expo has been cancelled this year."

The news shocked everyone to the very core. The Tech Expo, the only line of hope that Passe had in order to not fail like every other company...

... gone?

"What?" Chian said loudly after the surprise subsided. "Wait a sec!"

"The Sanctuary announced this is due to a decreased number of exhibitors," the radio went on. "However, the civil community speculates that the Parliament may have pressured the Sanctuary into the cancellation of this traditional event…"

Any other moment, Jacob would have raised the issue as to whether news broadcasters were allowed to voice such political scandal. However, he was too surprised right now to say anything.

"Are you kidding me? We can't wait another four years!" screamed Chian as she grabbed the radio with as much force as she could muster. "By then, all the factories will be long gone!" She raised the radio into the air, ready to throw it at the ground.

Neptune was quite alarmed by this point. "Whoa, Chian, calm down!"

Chian froze. Everyone was too afraid to say anything.

Then Chian placed the radio back, not looking at the party. "This was probably the last chance my company had…" she murmured.

The party looked at one another, uncertainty shared equally amongst them. Finally, Compa spoke. "Chian… are you going to be okay?"

Chian turned away from the party and braced herself on the wall. "Yeah… I think…" She sighed. There was no doubt in the party's mind that Chian was, for all intents and purposes, really hurt. "Please go for a bit. I need some time to think."

"… Okay." Neptune hopped off her barstool. "Come on, everyone."

* * *

><p>"Whoa…" Jacob took in some air once the party was outside. "Can't believe the Expo's been cancelled."<p>

IF raised an eyebrow. "What's this? High King Snark has no sarcastic quips for us this time?"

"No, actually, I don't," he responded. "Still, what do we do now? Do we go for the materials or what?"

"Actually… don't be mad, please, but I accepted a quest." Compa turned her face to the side and tapped her index fingers together.

Everyone turned to her. "Really? Which one?" asked Jacob.

"A child has gotten lost in a dungeon and the mother wants us to find them," Compa explained. "I'm sorry, I just felt sorry for the poor mother."

"Oh, for the love of…" IF facepalmed. "We don't have a single clue regarding the Key Fragment or a Guard Vermin. Why would you take a job about a lost child on top of this?"

"We'll never save the world if we don't save its people!" Compa argued. "My grandpa said, 'you must learn to walk before you can run'! The mom looked worried. There are so many nasty creatures outside of town. Her child will be eaten if we don't hurry!"

"So what?" IF crossed her arms. "Babies get eaten all the time. It's survival of the fittest. I'll leave you behind if you keep dilly-dallying."

"IF!" Nisa shouted. "How could you speak of such a callous act? We are heroes of justice, sworn to defend the weak and defenceless!"

"Yeah!" Jacob was also indignant. "I mean, if we're going to go by that survival of the fittest bull, we might as well not be on this quest to begin with!"

"... What is with you people?" IF murmured quietly to herself.

"Don't worry Iffy; I'll buy you some lollipops later!" Neptune promised cheerily.

"Stop calling me Iffy, please," IF responded through gritted teeth.

"So, Compa, what's this kid look like?" Neptune asked.

"The mom said her/his body is just an NPC silhouette so she/he should be easy to spot," answered Compa.

"Wait. Hold on. What?" Jacob put his fingers on the sides of his head like he was imitating a psychic. He then stopped. "You mean to tell me that the citizens of Gamindustri actually _know_ that other people are silhouettes?"

"Yeah, they do."

"… Then why don't they act any differently when they see that _we_ aren't silhouettes?"

Compa raised her index finger to answer in a manner befitting of a teacher… but she didn't answer. "I… don't know."

"That's a very good question," noted IF.

"This mystery will have to be put on hold!" Nisa announced. "As Compa has said with the utmost accuracy, this child will not survive long if we do not come to their rescue!"

"I wonder how many plot holes we're just going to leave unravelled by this time this adventure closes?" IF asked.

"Don't know, don't care," Neptune answered. "Right now, we're on a mission!"

* * *

><p>The dungeon the party arrived at another Cave #1 copy.<p>

Jacob sighed. "Another day, another one-floor dungeon with copy-pasted walls and endless random-encounter turn-based flash-transition battles."

"Oh, suck it up," IF rebuked.

"Jacob, as your leader, I demand you give me a chance to say funny things whenever we enter a dungeon from now on," ordered Neptune.

"Bite me," Jacob retorted.

The party progressed through the dungeon at a leisurely rate until they came across some monsters, three in total. One of them was a giant blue Minotaur that wore a golden helmet with an elongated 'beak', two horns and a visor with many vertical slits and a red loincloth. In its right hand, it held a large hatchet that was proportioned similar to a cleaver. Its left hand didn't exist; instead, a buckler was strapped to its left stone wrist cuff by a red cloth. On its back was a large red cape held in place by three pieces of golden neck armour.

The other two monsters were far less threatening. Compared to the Minotaur that was two Neptunes tall, these weeds didn't even reach Neptune's knee. They were small white plants with green legs and green leaves sticking out of their heads. They also two large leaves acting as arms. What was most distinguishable about them, however, was that they looked like they were about to cry at any moment.

"Compa, what are those?" Jacob asked.

"The big one's a Gyuki and the small ones are Weeping Grass."

"I'm worried about the Gyuki."

"Never fear, my student!" Nisa shouted from behind him. "I shall provide emotional support from back here!"

The rest of the party turned back to face her. "… Why aren't you up here?" Jacob asked.

"… We practice turn-based combat. How do you not know this?"

"Oh, that's right," Jacob facepalmed.

"Um, Nisa?" Compa spoke up. "We don't do that anymore. We just charge right in and take the monsters out."

"… You do?" Nisa asked.

"Yeah," confirmed IF. "It's much quicker and more fun and we still get EXP for it."

"Wait; we still level up from this?" Jacob asked.

"… Yeah, didn't you know that?" IF returned.

"Well, I kind of figured we'd be exempt since we kind of buggered over the combat. What level am I?"

"I think we're about level 10 by now."

"Oh, sweet… What does that do?"

"Increased health, physical attack, ranged attack, physical defence and ranged defence. There's also getting more combos but, as we just fight the enemies free form, we don't really use them."

"Nice."

"You're not gonna cry foul at levelling up, Jacob?" Neptune asked.

"Hey, I don't have a problem with levelling up. Turn-based combat most definitely but not levelling up. Getting stronger and getting new abilities to juggle your foes with is very cool."

"Alright, I can see the sense in that," said Nisa. "However, I still cannot battle with you."

"What? Why?" asked Jacob.

"I cannot battle without my battle ticket. It must be bought from the Lastation Store for three dollars forty five."

All was silent.

Jacob rubbed his temples. "You're kidding."

"While it does pain me that I cannot fight for justice alongside my dearest comrades, I must abide by the rules of DLC."

"But you're already amember of the party! Why the hell should I get permission to use a resource I _already have?_ What kind of bullcrap is this?"

"I don't know but, as long as I don't have my battle ticket, I cannot fight with you. Such is life."

Jacob raised his fists to the sky.

Compa put a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, Jacob. We'll just pay when we get back."

Jacob sighed and lowered his fists. "You're right; we'll just wait this out and- _Nisa, there's a god damn giant spider behind you!_"

"Where?" Nisa turned around fast as lightning but there was no spider behind her. However, now that Jacob was behind her, he hooked his arms under her shoulders and lifted her into the air. "Hey! This is not appropriate conduct between a student and his sensei!"

"Oh calm down," Jacob told her before flying over the Gyuki and dropping her on top of it.

"HEY!" she called before performing an axe kick on the Gyuki's head with enough force to knock it down. "Okay, fine! Legal transactions can wait."

"Yes! Everyone, _destroy them!_" commanded Jacob.

At once, the party charged forward. With the Gyuki toppled and the Weeping Grass being Weeping Grass, the battle was over very quickly.

"You were right," Nisa said as she twirled her arm, "that was much quicker."

"Glad you agree." Jacob rolled his shoulders. "Now, can we please drop that whole DLC nonsense, preferably for the rest of the game?"

Nisa sighed. "Fine. You will have unlimited access to my righteous services for free."

"Yes!" Jacob high-fived Neptune. "Now, let's get moving."

About a minute or so of walking around, taking the contents of random treasure chests and punching Cockatrices in the face, kicking Weeping Grass out of the way and actually putting even a little bit of effort into killing Gyuki, the party came across a round room.

In the middle of it was the bloody corpse of a monster.

"A monster… It's already dead," IF noted as she crouched before the monster's corpse.

Jacob crouched down beside IF as did Nisa. "Don't monsters burst into data after death?"

"We're probably in a cutscene." IF looked over at Neptune and Compa, who were standing a distance away. They didn't look very comfortable at all. "What're you doing? Hurry up and get over here."

"Nope, no thanks!" Neptune responded. "It's all you, Iffy! Go ahead and take care of it. Compa and I are gonna wait here patiently."

"Just tell us if you don't want to find the lost child!" Compa added on.

IF's eye twitched. "We've beaten a ton of monsters already. Aren't you used to seeing them dead yet?"

"To be fair, they haven't actually seen a monster corpse. They always explode into bits of data when we kill them," stated Jacob.

IF inspected the corpse. "… A clean cut and a huge welt. Doesn't look like any weaponry from Lastation."

"So a cutting weapon and… what? A stick? How does that make sense?" Jacob asked.

"Blunt side of a sword, possibly. Could it be Planeptune's advanced weaponry? No… but what…?"

Nisa turned her head to the side. "Huh?" She stood up very quickly and drew her prinny gun. "Halt! Who goes there?"

A woman approached the party. She looked a lot like Purple Heart, except her secondary colour was white and her bodysuit had no sleeves. She also had white claws and a few white spike ornaments protruding from her wrist cuffs. Her wings were in the shape of two floating circular black objects on either side of her, each having three blue half-diamond spikes that resembled thrusters, which directly contrasted Purple Heart's hologram-esque butterfly wings. Her long, unbound white hair ended just above her waist and she had somewhat messy bangs. Her eyes were like Purple Heart's, only they were cyan instead of blue.

"Are you Nisa?" she asked. "Never expected to see the so-called hero of Gamindustri in a dungeon like this."

"I am indeed Nisa, she who smites evil, but who might you be and why are you in this dungeon?"

"The kid," she responded. "I came to save a child. It's taken care of. But I don't need to be thanked. Anyway, there was supposed to be a girl who accepted the same job. Her name's Neptune. You know her?"

"Why is this important to you?" Jacob stood up. "What, tossing her off of Celestia wasn't enough and now you feel the need to push her off Gamindustri entirely?"

Everyone looked towards Jacob, shocked at his words. "Jacob, what's going on?" Compa asked.

The mysterious girl narrowed her eyes at him in distain. "What on Gamindustri are you talking about?"

"Cut the crap, Black Heart." Jacob's statement shocked everyone further. "I know it's you."

Black Heart was definitely taken off guard but she composed herself. "Why would you call me by such a name? Surely you know that Black Heart looks absolutely nothing like me?"

"That's true. However, Purple Heart looks absolutely nothing like Neptune." Jacob turned to Neptune. "Care to demonstrate?"

Neptune transformed into Purple Heart and approached Black Heart, stopping a few meters away. "So you're one of the goddesses that pushed me off Celestia. Why would you do that?"

Black Heart was now visibly shocked. "How did you know…?" she asked Jacob.

"I know a lot of things. Now, why did you do that to Neptune?"

Black Heart clenched her fist. From her own hammerspace, Black Heart took out a massive grey sword that was at least as tall as her. It had two blades back-to-back that were spaced apart, the round hand guard was very large and there was what seemed to be a secondary grip with a hand guard shaped like half a diamond directly below it. "This has nothing to do with you, foreigner. This is between me and Purple Heart."

"Yeah, not happening." Jacob stood in front of Purple Heart and got into a battle stance. "See, Neptune's kind of on a mission to save someone and we're her compatriots. You mess with her, you mess with us."

Black Heart smirked. "Well, if you think you can take me on, I'll be happy to play with you." Black Heart got into her battle stance.

"Neptune," Jacob whispered silently behind him, "tell Nisa to strike her with a Justice Kick once her back's turned. Hopefully, we'll wrap this up in one move."

"Very well," Purple Heart whispered back.

With their eyes locked, Black Heart and Jacob silently and slowly circled each other, waiting for the opportunity to strike. Well, Black Heart was; Jacob was trying to move her into position for his plan. He knew he couldn't take on Black Heart even if his life depended on it. Black Heart stopped when they rotated ninety degrees so that they were both an equal distance away from the party and raised her sword ever so slightly. Jacob stopped as well but Black Heart was not in the position required for his plan to work an he knew that, if he tried to push the circling, she'd close the distance between them in a second and slice him into ribbons.

Everyone knew by now that Jacob's lasers were pathetically weak. They were too weak to do noticeable damage and they were too thin to attack multiple targets at once. They did, however, have another use.

Thinking quickly, Jacob activated his jetpack as he fired a laser from each hand, one in a line in front of Black Heart and another in a line directly in front of him. These lasers kicked up clouds of dust that obscured him from his opponent, allowing him to fly away quickly to the right just as Black Heart blindly charged forward in an attempt to tackle him into the wall. He landed and got into another battle stance just as she stopped herself. "Over here," he called.

Black Heart turned to face him. "Nice try. However, trying to blind me so that I'll smash into a wall isn't going to work in this world." She smirked again. "This isn't a video game, you know."

The irony in that statement caused Jacob to smile. "While that would've been a nice bonus, I did that simply so I could inflict on you the _kick_ of _justice_." He didn't look directly at her but he could tell that Nisa got the signal.

Black Heart didn't catch on. "Is that what you na-"

Before she could finish, Nisa smashed into the back of Black Heart's head with the speed and force of a rocket-propelled meteor. Jacob dodged to the right as Black Heart flew past him and bounced on the floor a few times before coming to a stop. Nisa had jumped off of Black Heart's head on impact and landed on the floor.

"No loud cry of 'Justice Kick' this time, Sensei?" Jacob asked with a smile.

Nisa dusted her hands as she walked up to Jacob. "Sometimes, Jacob, a situation calls for subtlety. That was a very good plan, by the way."

"It worked because she's too focused on being stronger rather than being the winner," said Jacob. "Now, what should we do with- oh, crap."

Black Heart slowly pushed herself off the ground, clearly in a great amount of pain. She managed to stand up but on shaky legs. She also looked very mad. "Jacob, was it…?" she asked, panting. "You have _no_ idea what you have just done…"

Nisa stretched a hand out to stop Jacob from advancing. "Jacob, retreat to Compa's side; you've done enough for this battle. Lady Purple Heart, IF and I will finish her off."

"You think it will be that easy…?" Black Heart asked as Jacob flew back to Compa.

IF and Purple Heart came up to Nisa's side. "Well, that attack obviously took a lot out of you, our CPU is still nice and fresh and it's now three on one. I think the odds are in our favour," IF answered with a smirk.

"Really now?" In defiance of her injuries, Black Heart rushed forward to perform a horizontal swipe on the three melee combatants. Nisa hopped back while Purple Heart simply parried the attack and followed up with a snap kick that pushed Black Heart back. IF followed through by advancing and making two cuts at Black Heart's torso. She then performed a reverse roundhouse kick but Black Heart caught it and simply flung IF to the side.

Nisa leaped forward to flying snap kick Black Heart's face but the attack was blocked. When she landed, she used her left fist to strike Black Heart's abdomen, which struck true but Black Heart was nothing if not stubborn; she swiped horizontally but Nisa jumped over it. She tried to kick Black Heart's face again but Black Heart, to the surprise of everyone, dropped the sword and snatched Nisa's leg before tossing her away. Nisa, however, landed on her feet and stopped herself from going any further. Black Heart picked up her sword but not before she was struck in the back by a bullet and two energy spheres, followed by another bullet.

"_I've had enough of you!_" Furiously, she turned around to charge towards the long-range combatants but Purple Heart would not let that happen; she flashed in front of Black Heart and horizontally slashed high. Black Heart ducked and rammed Purple Heart into the wall using her flight but, even though it did hurt, Purple Heart rose into the air and kicked Black Heart away before speeding forward with her sword, which Black Heart blocked.

"They're too high to use CQC on," Jacob noted. "Just shoot when Purple Heart's out of harm's way."

Purple Heart and Black Heart continued their duel in the air. Given that Black Heart had already taken a lot of damage and was still a bit dazed from Nisa's Justice Kick and Purple Heart had taken very little damage and whose head was not spinning like a top on a lake of ice coated with butter, Purple Heart had a clear advantage. Black Heart's sword strokes, while powerful, were frenzied, desperate and sluggish, which gave Purple Heart's calm, precise and swift attacks no competition.

While their blades were clashing, Black Heart briefly gained the upper hand when she successfully forced Purple Heart away. She attempted to follow through with a painful assault but she found herself getting pummelled by energy spheres and more bullets. "_Cut that out!_" she roared.

"Okay." Jacob heeded her request and treated her to a Wide Roar instead, which engulfed her entirely.

"Now, Nep-Nep!" Compa called.

Jacob discontinued his attack to let Purple perform a powerful downwards swing with her sword. Black Heart's blade managed to stop the sword from striking her but there was no strength behind her block; the mighty blow sent Black Heart to the ground, causing her to drop her weapon. Purple Heart descended to the ground and transformed back into Neptune as her friends came to her side, weapons ready.

"No…" she panted as she kneeled. "How could I lose…?"

"Superior tactics, strength in numbers and surprise attacks really help." Jacob walked up to the defeated CPU. "Now," he raised his hand at Black Heart's face, "tell me what your beef is with Neptune."

Black Heart raised her head and saw Jacob's outstretched palm, the weapon that shot those spheres. She could tell he was eager to use it again. She wouldn't let him.

"I'll crush you all next time!" Black Heart shouted as she quickly rose into the air and flew out the room, energy balls and bullets following after here.

"Damn it, goddesses are fast," Jacob complained. "Well, that's our only source of information regarding what happened in Celestia well and truly gone. Now what?"

"I can't believe that we actually defeated a CPU in direct combat," Nisa stated.

"We had Neptune here as well as you." IF retracted her katara. "We were always going to win, with or without Jacob's strategy."

"Which, if I say so myself, was ingenious," Jacob said with a proud smile.

"It was effective, I'll give you that," IF told him. "Doesn't change the fact that this whole mission was a waste of time. We still don't know where to find the Key Fragment or a dungeon containing a Guard Vermin, the Tech Expo's still closed down and we're not getting paid for this sidequest."

"IF, be more proud of yourself!" Nisa swatted patted IF on the back. "You managed to go toe-to-toe with Lady Black Heart herself! Not many people can claim such a thing."

"It's good that we also found out that Lady Black Heart has the same ability to transform as Neptune," Compa chipped in.

"That doesn't change anything…" IF held the bridge of her nose. "Let's just go back, please. I want to think about our next step."

Neptune pouted as the party left the room to get out of the dungeon. "Jeez, Iffy, you're such a party pooper."

* * *

><p><strong>And thus concludes the second major fight scene in the entire story. For once, I'd REALLY like feedback on the things I did right and the things I did wrong here. I'm not particularly experienced with fight scenes and any advice would be greatly appreciated.<strong>

**By the way, about the question I asked last chapter? The terms are interchangeable. I presume 'goddess' is often used by the masses and 'CPU' is used by those that know better.**


	12. To Find His Path

**Well, people, this will probably be the last chapter for a few months. I'm afraid this semester of uni will be a busy one and I simply won't have time for this fanfiction until possibly October. Sorry but that's the way it's gonna be. Anyway...**

**godofmadness43: Well, it's not like Black Heart was particularly threatening with just Neptune, Compa and IF. Even after the battle, the game just treated her more like a nuisance than a credible threat.**

**one who walks the path of fire: Sorry about that but Jacob could not just simply let Compa's stupid question slip by.**

**Moondrag: Yeah... "woo"... Hey, did you know I wrote a review of Hyperdimension Neptunia and I talked about the apparently lacking budget? You can find my answer there. Just look up Porecomesis Reviews. It's on blogspot.**

**Eyeshield: Already responded. Anyway: overwhelming the enemy is also a valid strategy, I can't believe I didn't pick that up (I seriously said "Jacob, you IDIOT" when you pointed that out), that's true but there aren't any opportunities seeing as she wields that thing like a rapier, too true, I didn't know what the real-world counterparts were and AIBO was the closest I found, I now kind of regret putting in levelling up, and you're absolutely right that this won't last.**

**The Puppy Schwag: Awesome. **

**Guest: Breasts are an incredibly sore point for Nisa. I couldn't pass that opportunity up. :D Neptune said those things because she's a blunt idiot with no social tact and thank you very much. Dude, they're still on Lastation; hold your horses, please! Also, what did you mean by a scene between Jacob and Neptune?**

**Red-Drive: Thank you very much. I'm still not entirely sure how I'm doing it; he seems to just be writing himself. Please constantly evaluate his character as I really want to do this right.**

**Zaralann: Thank you.**

**CrimsonHeresy: Thank you.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12: To Find His Path<strong>

The party wasn't in what you'd call the best spirits. On top of the Tech Expo being cancelled, jobs were few and far between, meaning that money was a very limited resource that the party had to use wisely. Furthermore, finding the Key Fragment or even the possible whereabouts of a Guard Vermin were tasks comparable to finding a power outlet in frozen tundra. To top it all off, no one had any idea what they were supposed to do next. With all that considered, everyone had kind of gone off to do miscellaneous things; Nisa had dragged Jacob off to train, Neptune and Compa had said they were going to look around, not having been in Lastation before, and IF, being the only productive member of the team, was in the motel room websurfing for… something. Jacob didn't really know.

That was about half an hour ago. Now, Jacob and Nisa were sitting on pipes, drinking from juice boxes. Around them were several of the dog robots that Jacob, Compa and Neptune brought back to the motel.

"Hey, Sensei, do you feel frustrated that we're kind of in a powerless position that we can't just bust out of via massive applications of force?" Jacob asked.

"Indeed, my pupil," responded Nisa with her normal voice even though she was clearly unhappy. "Avenir continues their evil deeds without being opposed by anyone. We most definitely have the strength to do so but, alas, the might of righteousness becomes but a mere nuisance in the wicked face of…" Nisa shuddered, "… politics and business. Of course, Lady Black Heart herself could intervene and stop this injustice by herself…" She angrily crushed the juice box in her hand, "… but she would rather pursue us! And to what end?"

"Wish I knew," answered Jacob. He then sighed and leaned back to look at the skies which were strangely clear despite the massive quantities of smoke that the landmass emitted.

Nisa picked up the depression in his voice and looked at him, curious. "Is something troubling you?"

"A little bit." He drank a bit more of his juice. "Wondering how my family's going."

"You have a family?"

Jacob looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, sorry. Not unlike many people in Gamindustri, I do not have a family so it's not something I'm used to," explained Nisa like it was no big deal at all.

This caught Jacob off guard. "Oh… I'm sorry."

Nisa grinned. "Do not fret. It doesn't matter much to me. Fighting the evils that pollute the dark corners of Gamindustri always comes first." Nisa suddenly had an idea. "Hey, Jacob, what's your world like?"

Jacob opened his mouth slightly but then closed it. "You know what? Maybe I'll tell you with the others. Save time."

"Are families common?"

Jacob nodded. "Harder not to find one."

"Having a family sounds nice."

Jacob smiled fondly. "It is. To me, at least."

That last sentence caught Nisa's attention. "Huh? You mean families aren't always nice?"

"Well, I know that some people have troubles with their family. I don't but I'm essentially the exception. Go for a walk even in a largely out of the way place and chances are that you'll come across someone whose family life isn't holding up well."

"But… you get along with your family, right?"

"I do. I hope they're okay… I've been away for over a week now. Are they looking for me? Are they holding up well? What are they going through right now? I can't believe I didn't even leave a note saying goodbye…" Jacob sighed again. "Man, I suck."

Nisa, having nothing to say, just placed her hand on Jacob's shoulder to provide whatever comfort she could.

* * *

><p>Contrary to what most anime about clueless spods getting sent to other worlds would imply to you, Jacob did have a family waiting for him back home that he was eager to get back to. His family was middle-class and his home was a two-story luxury not many people had. Jacob's life was never really full of strife; he had a loving family, a comfortable home, secure finances, a tolerable school life and a sufficient social life composed of his computer and the Internet. As a whole, Jacob's family was generally happy and trouble-free.<p>

That was before Jacob mysteriously disappeared without a trace.

A police officer was talking to John outside of Jacob's house. "I'm sorry but we still can't find Jacob anywhere and no one's reported seeing him."

John rubbed his forehead, clearly agitated. "He doesn't go outside that late at night so he couldn't have gone anywhere, he's smart enough not to let anyone in the house so he couldn't have been kidnapped and… He should still be home!"

"Mate, I understand. We will do whatever we can to find him," the policeman tried to assure the anxious father.

"I know…" John took a deep breath. "… Please find him."

"We will, without a doubt. Oh, and John?"

"What is it?"

"We still don't know anything about what damaged your house. Are you sure that-"

John groaned. "For the last time, we don't know anyone who would try to destroy our house, especially with a catapult. I'm very sure the same goes for our kids."

"… I understand," responded the policeman after a short moment of silence. "Well, I better get back to work. We'll talk later, maybe."

"Alright. Bye." With a sigh, John turned around to go back inside his home.

* * *

><p>John massaged his temples as he made his way to the dining room. Over a week had passed since he and the family got home only to discover that his beloved son was nowhere to be seen, the PS3 looked like it blew up on the inside and there were two gaping holes in his home, one on his roof (it was soon covered to make sure no annoying rain got in) and another in the second floor. If someone was to be pedantic, they would point out that there was another hole in the ground floor but this was most definitely not the time to bring up such a thing to a distressed parent.<p>

At the dining room table, John saw his wife Sharon at the laptop, most likely looking over the countless messages going something along the lines of "Hope you find Jacob soon. :(" being sent to the family. John sat down next to her. "Anything new?" he asked quietly.

Sharon shook her head. "No."

John sighed. This was quite possibly the worst experience in their entire lives, especially since they didn't actually know what the experience really was. Jacob disappeared somewhere. Where? He couldn't have been kidnapped and there isn't any reason for him to go outside late at night, especially since he prefered to stay inside and play video games all day. Did it have anything to do with whatever fell through the roof? For that matter, what _did_ fall through the roof? The police said that, given some clothing fibres found in the hole on the ground floor, it was most likely a person but _who_ could have gone through those floors? Why would they do it in the first place? There were too many questions. The worst part was that, as things were now, they were virtually unsolvable.

Sensing his distress, Sharon reached over to give him a hug. "It's okay. We'll find him," she said, although it was clear that she was also in pain. John returned the hug, completing the picture of two damaged parents, each trying to give the other strength that they did not have.

* * *

><p>Back in Gamindustri, Jacob noticed IF just walk into the junkyard looking very fatigued. "Hey, IF. How's it going?"<p>

IF exhaled through her nose. "It's been a long day and I'm tired and it's not even evening yet. I want this whole mess over and done with."

"Did you find out anything on your phone?"

"… Find out what?"

"You know, what we can do now."

IF sighed. "Jacob, plot-driving clues do not present themselves on the Internep."

"I'm going to hazard a guess and say that the Internep was made in Planeptune."

"Bullseye."

"God help us all." Jacob presented another juice box. "Want one?"

"Sure." IF took the container, stuck the straw in it and began drinking. "Hey, do you know where Neptune and Compa are?"

"Didn't they say they were going to look around?" Nisa asked.

"Yeah, I just wanted to know where exactly they were." IF rubbed her forehead and sat next to Nisa.

"I wonder what we're going to do now?" asked Jacob aloud.

"I've been spending most of the last half hour trying to find that out," IF answered. "I don't know."

"Well, what exactly are we trying to do? Putting the Key Fragment thing aside, where are we trying to go from here? Are we going to find out why the Tech Expo was cancelled?"

IF looked at Jacob with tired eyes. Clearly, she was not in the mood for this. "And how, exactly, do you think we'd find the reasons for that?"

"Well…" Jacob reclined and thought to himself. He did this for several moments, even while IF was impatiently tapping her foot.

Nisa decided to put in her two cents worth in Jacob's place. "The radio said that the Parliament might have pressured the Sanctuary. What could we do with that information?"

"Absolutely nothing," answered IF dejectedly while hanging her head. "It's not like we could just go up to a member of the Basilicom and force them… to…" IF raised her head slowly. Suddenly, her eyes didn't look so tired anymore. Her body seemed to have found new strength. "That's it."

"Did you figure out something?" Nisa didn't have the same flash of inspiration.

IF turned to the both of them. "Do you know what heretics are?" Even though her tone of voice was normal, she definitely seemed more invigorated.

"I don't, sorry," Jacob answered.

"I do. Heretics are former members of the Basilicom who were banished due to their worship of another landmass' goddess," Nisa explained.

"Exactly." Small traces of a smile could be seen on IF's face.

Jacob crossed his arms. He was intrigued by this new development. "I'm guessing they may know something?"

"It's a long shot but, again, we don't have much of a choice. All we have to do is find a heretic and ask what they know."

"How do we find a heretic?" Jacob asked.

"Give me some time. I'm gonna head back and look up forums and whatnot."

"Very well, then." Nisa stood up all of a sudden. "While you search for information, Jacob and I will seek out Neptune and Compa and bring them back so that we may continue our quest."

"You do that." IF turned around and ran back to the motel.

Jacob watched her run. "She seems happier."

"Indeed she does." Nisa faced Jacob. "Jacob, fly above the city and see if you can find Neptune and Compa from the air. I will search for them on foot."

"Give me a moment; I'll get the dogs." Jacob got up to put the dogs back into his disc.

"Very well, then. Up, up, and awaaaay!" Nisa jumped the wire fence to get out of the junkyard.

"Show off," Jacob muttered.

* * *

><p>Neptune and Compa were currently sightseeing the inside of a store. It looked a lot like the inside of Planeptune's shop except, rather than having the appearance of polished glass, the walls and floor looked more like worn metal, which was much more fitting for the industrial aesthetic of Lastation.<p>

"Nep-Nep, are you sure we should be buying all this? Didn't Iffy say we needed the money for food and other necessities?" Compa inquired as she pushed a trolley containing a pair of black gauntlets with ridiculously long blades protruding from the knuckles as claws, a syringe filled with green liquid and other objects.

Neptune responded by going 'tsk, tsk, tsk' in a faux disappointed manner. "Compa, my lovely big-boobied sidekick, Avenir gave us 10,000 credits as a reward so we might as well use 'em. Heroes in stories never have to worry about basic necessities so why should we?"

"… How do you know that if you're an amnesiac, Nep-Nep?" Compa replied.

Neptune faked a gasp. "Compa, I'm hurt! You don't believe your best friend- Ooh! This looks awesome!" Neptune took off the shelf a black sword that had a black disc object with a white-grey centre replacing the tsuba. She swung it a few times before resting its back on her shoulder. "Tada! How do I look?"

"Very nice, Nep-Nep, but even if we do need better weapons…" Compa reached into the trolley and took out a scrapbook. "What do we need this for?"

"Why, that's for Jacob, silly! Think about it;" Neptune slapped her hands onto Compa's shoulders and looked into her eyes with a very serious expression. "If we make a photo album of all the fun times we have on our adventure, Jacob won't want to go home anymore." Neptune removed her hands from Compa's shoulders. "He can stay here and we can be friends forever and ever!" It was at this point where Neptune started talking to herself more than Compa like she was visiting some sort of dream land. "And then…"

Compa was almost afraid to ask. "And then…?"

Neptune blushed. "And then Jacob and I can fall in love and be boyfriend and girlfriend!"

If Compa was drinking from a juice box at that moment, she would've spat out the contents. "B-Boyfriend and g-girlfriend?" she repeated with loud shock.

"Yeah! Don't you see? One fateful night, I, the beautiful stranger from a fantastic new world, drop into the life of an ordinary high school student. Our paths intertwined, we set out on an epic adventure of self-discovery, sacrifice and _lurve_." The 'lurve' just rolled off Neptune's tongue. "Don't you see, Compa? It's a typical love story set-up, one that's never failed before! Plus, it's a love that literally transcends time and space. You gotta admit that's cool."

"B-B-B-But you don't even know any stories!" Compa reminded Neptune kind of uncharacteristically loudly.

"I just know this stuff, Compa," Neptune said with pride as she put her hands on her hips. "I'm that awesome."

Compa looked like she was about to cry.

Thankfully, Neptune was not too dense to not pick up on Compa's impending tears. "Compa? What's wrong?"

It was at that moment when Nisa found them. "Ah! I have found you, Lady Neptune and Compa!"

"Oh, hey Nisa!" Neptune greeted enthusiastically. "What are you doing here?"

"IF has found a lead on what we may do next in our journey and has asked myself and Jacob to return you to the motel."

"Oh, I see. Where's Jake, then?" Compa asked.

"He agreed to use his jetpack to search the city from the skies, which has now proven to be a redundant task." Nisa then noticed the shopping cart. "What is all this?"

"Oh, I thought we could use the money we got from Avenir to do a lil' shopping," Neptune explained with a happy grin. "I figured our weapons were a bit weak and needed some replacing."

"Ah, a wonderful idea! One cannot fight evil unprepared… Huh?" Nisa noticed the scrapbook and took it out. "What is this?"

"That's a gift for Jacob," Neptune explained happily. "We're gonna take a buncha pictures on our adventures and put them in here. It'll be nice, right? At the end of this game, he can look back at this as the credits roll and talk about all the fun we had."

"That is a good idea," Nisa agreed, smiling. "Okay, we'll buy all this and then head back to the motel."

* * *

><p>It was a simple task to find Jacob and return to the motel.<p>

"You _what?_" Weathering IF's verbal assault was not going to be so simple. For the girls, anyway; as Jacob didn't buy the items or encourage buying the items, it was a simple task for him.

"Aw, come on, Iffy! Our weapons had very low stats! It's high time we replaced 'em," Neptune reasoned.

IF's fingers were curled in a way that made her look like she was choking someone made of air. "Neptune, we need that money for food and rent," she argued through gritted teeth. "We can't afford to waste it on weapons, much less on _scrapbooks_." IF turned to Compa. "And why didn't you do anything? You're supposed to be our accountant!"

"W-W-W-W-W-W…" Compa blubbered. "I'm… I'm sorry…" She was about to cry again.

IF instantly regretted taking her anger out on Compa. "Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, don't worry about it; Neptune was the one who bought the items, alright? It's her fault, not yours."

"Neptune, I appreciate the sentiment but I'm okay without a photo album," Jacob stated.

"But Jacob," Neptune whined, "this is gonna be a memento of our adventures for when you go home! Besides, heroes don't need to pay for food and rent."

Jacob sighed. He didn't really care either way about the scrapbook but he did agree that they needed to keep a close eye on their funds. "IF, don't worry; after all this is said and done, I'll return the stuff to the store with the receipt and get a refund, alright?"

IF rubbed her forehead. "That won't work, Jacob; we don't sell items to stores here, unlike in most JRPGs."

"… Wait, really?"

"She is correct," Nisa noted. "I, too, have been a victim of having duplicates of items I didn't need and being unable to sell them back."

"Well, what if they don't work? Can we get refunds?"

"No," IF answered.

"…" Jacob turned to Neptune. "Don't buy stuff without our permission again."

Neptune crossed her arms and pouted. "Fine." She then muttered under her breath "Meany."

"Anyway, about the heretic?" Jacob tried to get back to the reason they were gathered.

"A heretic?" said Compa. "That's one of those people who don't believe in the Basilicom's teachings, right?"

IF was slightly surprised. "Oh, I didn't expect you to know about that. I guess you did attend a Planeptune school. They've got some good teachers."

"Heretics are former Basilicom members who were kicked out of the Basilicom for worshipping another landmass' goddess," Nisa elaborated. "I cannot say that I have personal feelings regarding them but I do feel that disloyalty to one's own goddess isn't very righteous at all."

Neptune looked like she understood. "So the Basilicom gave 'em the boot for lavishing another goddess with attention instead of the one on their landmass?" Of course, she twisted situations into something that came across as some weird innuendo with such reliability that Jacob swore it was on purpose.

"You make it sound like a love affair…" Compa noted.

"Ooh, I wonder how many heretics are worshipping me…" Neptune giggled as she thought to herself. "Maybe I'll put up a poll on the Internep somewhere and find out."

Jacob tried to steer this conversation back on track. "Back to the topic at hand-"

Neptune, however, was amazingly resilient. "Hey Jacob, which goddess do you worship?"

Jacob face palmed. "Neptune, I am not from here. I do not worship your goddesses."

"Oh, really? Hm…" Neptune crossed her arms and put on her thinking face. "How can I get you to worship me…?"

Compa had her own question to ask. "Do you have a goddess back home that you worship, then?"

"Actually, I'm agnostic. I don't really…" Jacob caught on to what he was being lead through and face palmed again. "People! Heretic! Need to find! We'll talk about this later!"

IF sighed. "Finally. Anyway, we're going to find a heretic and ask them for internal information about the Basilicom. I'm sure they'd know a lot, having been former members."

"What if they don't want to talk to us?" Neptune asked.

"Then we'll threaten them with your gun, of course," IF answered.

Jacob's eyes opened wide in mock surprise. "My God!" he exclaimed loudly. "Firearms have actually become a plot point! Take cover, everyone; the apocalypse is going to happen!"

"… Okay then." IF just ignored his overacting.

"So do we know where a heretic is?" Nisa asked.

"Thankfully, we do. I've used the Internep browser that came with the game console in the room to browse forums and news articles and I finally came across information about a heretic hiding in a monster-infested dungeon."

"Sweet," Jacob answered. "Know where the dungeon is?"

"Mhm. I traced it on DungleMaps. Let's go."

* * *

><p>"… and that's how Dungle has evolved from a dungeon information search engine to a fully-fledged search engine that can find anything you want to know," Compa was explaining to Jacob as the party walked to the gondola lift that IF said would take them right to the dungeon.<p>

He nodded in response. "Ah, okay then. That makes sense."

"How did your Google start out?" Neptune asked Jacob as she walked alongside him.

"I don't know, sorry. History isn't exactly something I'm interested in."

"It does make you wonder why your Google and our Dungle have such similar names…" said Compa.

"That would be because this is a video game with references up the wazoo," Jacob replied.

"… Oh. Well, that doesn't really sound funny at all," Compa commented.

Jacob sighed. "Indeed."

"We're here," IF noted.

Right ahead of them was the gondola. Again, it looked no different from Planeptune's. Well, it was grey and black and it had a pipe coming out of the top but its shape was exactly the same.

Jacob sighed. "No matter how many times I see this, it still depresses me."

"Suck it up, princess," Neptune responded with a cheeky grin. "Let's get in."

The party entered the gondola. Thankfully, the pipe was only an ornament and there weren't any unpleasant smells or fumes within the transport. Neptune sat between Jacob and Compa while IF sat next to Nisa.

"Hey, Jacob, can you tell us about your world now?" Nisa asked.

"Oh, right. Alright then, where do I start…?"

As Jacob tried to think of something to say, the girls all looked at him, eager for what he had to say.

"Eh?" went Compa. "Is Jake going to tell us a story?"

"More of a history lesson. Anyway, for starters, our world isn't composed of floating islands. Rather, our lands are separated by vast bodies of water. Our Earth is actually seventy per cent water." The gondola began to move.

"Ooh!" Neptune definitely seemed excited by this. "How do you get from one landmass to another?"

"Well, we don't call them landmasses. Rather, we have countries and continents. There are too many countries to name off the top of my head but the seven continents of the world are Asia, Antarctica, Africa, North and South America, Australia and Europe. Anyway, we travel between them either by boats or planes."

"Do you have monsters in your world?" Compa asked.

"No, we don't. We do, however, have some very frightening animals, like lions and dolphins and wasps and the lion's mane jellyfish."

"… What's a lion's mane jellyfish?" Compa asked.

Jacob shivered. "You don't want to know. Anyway, we don't fight them because we're all away in our cities and they're all in their own little corners of the world, unbothered by us. We keep to ourselves and they keep to themselves."

Neptune tugged on his sleeve. "Hey, do you have dungeons where you can go on adventures and get shiny new thingamajigs and whatnot?" she asked eagerly.

"No," Jacob answered.

"Well, that sounds boring. What do you fight?"

"Each other, actually." Jacob's answer surprised the girls. "Since we don't have any dragons or other giant monsters to take our religious and political aggressions out on, wars tend to crop up more frequently than they do here. Actually, never mind that; I don't actually know about Gamindustri's history with wars."

"Well, there is the Console War from long ago. Would you like to hear about it?" IF asked.

"… Hold on; I'm going to guess that it was about the CPUs having a punch up?" Jacob guessed.

IF was surprised. "How did you know that?"

"I think that's what Neptune was in before this whole thing started, when she got thrown out of Celestia."

"What?" Compa was also surprised. "Nep-Nep was in the Console War?"

"That's probably what the fight was called, yeah."

"My goodness…" Compa started. "That means… um…"

"Pretty much nothing at all," answered Jacob.

"Well, that was a wasted revelation," noted Nisa.

"Anyway, let's talk about religion..."

* * *

><p>The party continued talking until they got to the dungeon. It was a Cave #2 area, by the way. Jacob could've voiced his thoughts but someone else decided to do it for him.<p>

"Aw, it's another cave with glowing rocks," Neptune groaned. "I reckon we could just take one photo of this place, copy it a truckload o' times and colour the copies, put them in the scrapbook and say we've been to most of Gamindustri. Am I right or what?"

Neptune waited for a response from the rest of the party but she never got one.

"… Uh, guys?" Neptune asked.

"Oh, sorry," responded IF as she snapped out of her silence. "I was just surprised you'd say something like that."

"That kind of thing is more Jake than you," Compa added.

Neptune smiled cheerfully. "Well, I did call dibs on snarking at the next dungeon. Thanks Jacob!"

"You're welcome. Anyway, let's move on."

The party rounded a bend from the entrance.

"Didja notice the number of monsters here?" Neptune asked, completely out of the blue. "It's a kinda tight spot… I wonder if they're comfy."

"Yes, there were a bit more than usual. I'm worried about the heretics. Let's hurry!" Compa replied.

"… What are you talking about?" Jacob asked, looking back at the two of them like they were crazy. "We haven't found a single monster."

Neptune and Compa looked a bit embarrassed after that. They had a sudden interest in the ground next to each of them and Compa was tapping her index fingers together while Neptune crossed her arms. "Well… I just felt compelled to say that, 'kay?"

"Me too…" Compa meekly answered.

"Must've been a scripted cutscene," IF noted.

"I hate those," commented Nisa. "I swear on my life…" she clenched her fist as a familiar fire lit in her eyes, "they will burn in the fires of my justice!"

Jacob sighed. The way they kept getting sidetracked by meaningless details time and time again was astounding. "Can we please get on with it?"

After that, it didn't take the party long at all to come across a random encounter of two monsters. Jacob began talking like a dramatic show announcer. "Aaaand the monster of the dungeon is…"

He'd be lucky if he knew. The new monster was… uh, well, it had the head and body of some female Egyptian pharaoh with what seemed to be the skeleton of enlarged bat wings for arms. The human body was attached to the front body of a lion while the hindquarters were a chariot of all things, complete with a snake replacing the tail. It was mostly black and grey in colour with long red spikes protruding from the 'wings' and two small red fins protruding from the back of the monster's animal body. Next to the monster was a Weeping Grass.

"… What in God's name is that thing?" Jacob's false persona had faded faster than a monster could appear in Gamindustri.

"Do you mean the Christian God, Jake?" Compa asked.

"Doesn't matter. What is that monster? Who the hell made it?"

"Is that the Christian-"

"Compa!" Jacob shouted.

"Ah! Sorry! It's a Chimera!" she answered quickly.

"Thank you," he responded, exasperated.

IF looked at Compa inquisitively. "How do you know so much about monsters?" she asked.

"Oh, I read a lot of medical textbooks detailing monster wounds, complete with portraits of the monsters in question. It's an important thing for a nurse," she explained.

"Huh. I thought I would be the monster exposition."

"Hey, you're already giving us setting exposition!" Neptune shouted as she pointed at IF. "No hogging all the exposition roles!"

"Anyway," Jacob cut in, "how do we-"

"Justice Kick!"

Nisa decided to go with her own strategy of 'kick the monster pre-emptively with enough force to shatter a wall'. The monster seemed to unwillingly oblige with this strategy as its human body bent backwards, its feet buckled and the entire thing rolled back on its chariot wheels towards the wall. It seemed a bit shaken up.

"… Well, that worked," Jacob commented.

"_Attaaack!_"

The party assaulted the Chimera on Neptune's war cry. It was surprisingly resilient and the Weeping Grass was kind of distracting but the party vanquished both of them before long.

"That went well," said Nisa as she span her prinny gun on her finger.

"Easy for you to say," responded IF as she held her arm which had a worryingly large scar on her arm. "Those spikes on its wings are a nuisance."

"I know, right?" Jacob had a similar scar on his right side.

"Just take some reflex and you'll be better," said Compa as she handed the two injured combatants a bottle of reflex each, which they both drank.

"Now, let's-" Jacob was interrupted by three more monsters appearing. Two of them were very thin pink bat-rabbit things with a long tail ending with a heart.

"Eep." Jacob was more worried about the Gyuki.

"You're seriously scared of a Gyuki?" IF asked.

"Jacob, steel yourself! You will never be able to surpass your limits if a Gyuki frightens you!" Nisa shouted encouragingly despite being less than five meters away from Jacob.

"Sorry, I'm still not exactly used to seeing giant flipping minotaurs with huge axes suddenly appear out of nowhere," Jacob responded.

"Aw, cheer up, Jacob! It's just another random encounter; it'll be easy-peasy!" Neptune said confidently.

Jacob sighed. "Eh, I guess."

And thus the party defeated their umpteenth random encounter that is so monotonous and boring that it is not even worth recounting in detail. Much like the random battle before. And every other random battle they had and will have.

"Ugh, God damn it…" Except for Jacob getting successfully punched in the face and being gifted with a bleeding nose.

"Here." Compa handed him another bottle of reflex which he drank without hesitation.

"You know," began Jacob as he inspected the bottle, "I think I may be developing an addiction to this stuff."

"Don't worry, Jake; reflex isn't an addictive substance. You'll be fine," Compa reassured.

IF picked up the bottles that were dropped by their defeated enemies. "It's a good thing we get five of these new bottles after every battle; otherwise we'd be out by now."

Nisa decided to drink her own bottle of reflex. "It is still a weird feeling, healing my wounds outside of battle. I cannot shake this tingling feeling that I am to be smitten by Lady Black Heart for defying the conventions of battle."

IF's eyed opened wide. "Oh crap, I totally forgot that the other goddesses might also have a problem with our rule breaking."

"Hey, don't worry about it," said Neptune as she rested her sword on her shoulder. "If we spanked Black Heart easy as pie, the others won't put up much of a fight, either."

"They do seem to be more of a joke than a credible threat," Jacob replied. "Yeah, I think we can take 'em."

"Why is everybody on this team so suicidally overconfident…?" IF muttered.

The party pressed onwards thr-

"Hang on a moment," said Jacob all of a sudden. "Nisa, what'd you mean earlier by healing outside of battle feeling weird?"

"Oh, you didn't know? Well, alright then… Um…" Nisa took several moments to try and compose her next words. When she still had nothing, she took several more moments.

IF sighed as Nisa went through the same cycle for a third time. "Nisa, drop it." IF turned to Jacob. "All you need to know is that it was a really obtuse mechanic that I'm thankful we don't use anymore. Please just leave it at that."

"… Okay then." Jacob decided to just leave it at that.

The party pressed onwards through the repetitive cave, taking on the random encounters as they came and opening treasure chests as they came, including the invisible treasure chest of the dungeon. All in all, it was yet another standard dungeon.

"Hey, I think that's the heretic," Neptune pointed out as they came across a silhouette of a generic old man with bushy eyebrows, a goatee, a receding hairline and a walking stick. Without any hesitation at all, she approached him. "So… you're Mr Heretic? Whatcha doin' hiding in such a dark place?"

Compa joined Neptune. "It's unhealthy to be away from the sun's rays entirely. Give me your hand and I'll lead you to vitamin D!"

"Who're…?" The old man's voice was tired as if he had just woken up. He turned his head to the party and groaned slightly. "Get away. I'm not going anywhere. This' the only place to receive it. The messenger only knows this place."

"… This heretic must be trippin'…" IF muttered.

"Mr Heretic! We're here to ask you all about Basilicoms!" said Neptune.

If the heretic wasn't a silhouette, Jacob would have bet that his eyebrows unfurrowed. "… Basilicoms? Oh, okay. What's on your mind?" he asked pleasantly.

"They almost didn't let us in and they cancelled the Tech Expo. What's up with that, man?" asked Neptune.

The heretic exhaled through his nose, seemingly satisfied with that question. Fair enough; if you go out of your way to live in a monster-infested dungeon so that you wouldn't be bothered anymore, anyone who actually goes to visit you better have a good reason beyond asking for sugar and eggs. "… Lastation Basilicoms are practically controlled by the Parliament side. The Sanctuary end is largely ignored. The current Parliament only listens to the sound of coin. Then again, the Sanctuary reps don't listen much, either…" He then lightly chuckled as if he heard a really bad joke.

"Sanctuary? P-Parliament?" As these completely foreign words seemed to distress her, Neptune turned to IF. "Iffy, help is needed!"

IF sighed. "The Sanctuary serves the CPU and evangelises. Parliament serves the CPU and governs. Is it really that complicated?"

"Okay, whatever." Neptune's incredibly frank disregard for that explanation caused IF's eye to twitch. "So your Basilicom is a rotten egg because of the Parliament stuff?" Neptune continued.

"The Sanctuary's no different." The heretic stood up, anger evident in his posture. "Those fanatics have no ears to heed our warnings with." He then pounded his walking stick into the ground. "Humanity is _doomed!_"

The heretic's outburst caused the party to take a step back. They were, understandably, a bit freaked out to continue speaking.

"Huh?" went Compa, breaking the silence. "What do you mean all humanity is doomed? Are you proffesizing the apocalypse?"

"Of course." The heretic sat back down. "We're all going to die at the hands of Overlord Momus. Momus is powerful enough to seal away one of the goddesses. Even our current CPU had to retreat to this world to avoid his power."

"By 'one of the goddesses', I presume you mean Purple Heart?" Jacob inquired.

"It makes no difference which one he sealed. A goddess is a goddess and his strength is that real."

"Why, that Momus must be behind the creation of the monsters ravaging this land!" Nisa exclaimed. "He must not be allowed to get away with this!"

"It's hard to believe, though." Compa seemed to have doubts. "Is there really an Overlord more powerful than one of our goddesses?"

Had the heretic not been a silhouette, it would have been a simple matter to see him grimacing or doing whatever he would do to show internal pain. "See? You're the same as everyone else. They don't believe me. You must or you'll be punished by the divine messenger!"

"If it's any consolation, I believe you," Jacob responded. "Chances are this Momus is the final boss summoned by this divine messenger either because of possession or because they believe that the world is a dark, scary place or something."

"Or they could think this Momus is their mummy," Neptune added.

The heretic's head suddenly snapped up in realisation. "You!" he shouted all of a sudden in anger, causing all of the party to jump in surprise. "You defeated several monsters to get here, right? You shall not escape your punishment! Leave, you foolish, generally undeveloped adolesecents, and your tall foreign-looking male friend as well!"

"H-He's scaring me…" Neptune pointed out. "What's gotten into him…? L-Let's just get outta here. He wants to stay and I don't wanna force him to leave. Plus, he's very rude."

"Righty-o. Let's move, people."

On Jacob's suggestion, the party just walked out of the dungeon.

* * *

><p>Outside the dungeon…<p>

"Lastation has to be the most geographically inconsistent place in all of existence," Jacob noted.

"Why do you say that, Jake?" asked Compa.

"_Look at that!_" shouted Jacob as he pointed to the scenery before them, all without missing a beat.

Said scenery was, for lack of a better word, beautiful. Separating the bright, cheerful meadow they were standing on and the bright, cheerful meadow in the distance was a shining blue lake in front of them. Also, beyond the other meadow were enough trees to constitute a forest and hills and mountains that were covered in foliage. The sky was also blue and clear. It all seemed like it came from a painting.

"What about it?" asked Nisa. "It's very pretty."

"That's exactly it; this is _Lastation_, which breathes more smoke than… ugh, I can't even think of an analogy. How, exactly, does it have such a perfect spot to have a picnic?" Jacob ranted.

"Who cares about that?" Neptune brushed him off not unlike how she brushed off IF not too long ago. "Did you not hear about an Overlord? That sounds much more intense than picnics!"

"It's just more nonsense conjured up by that heretic," IF brushed off Neptune in return. "I hope he gets his comeuppance."

"Well, who knows? Monsters are taking over the world and Histy's totally in captivity," Neptune argued.

"Oh, yeah. What if Histoire's playing us all like kazoos? She creates the monsters, lures out naïve little girl wanna-be heroes like you, then _snap!_" IF punctuated her 'snap' with a loud clap. "Lures another one… then _snap!_" IF did it again.

"I think Histoire's genuine," went Jacob. "Unless, of course, this story has more depth than I think it does, which is-"

"Histy, you're here!" Neptune's sudden outburst caught everyone off-guard. "I didn't think I'd hear from ya until I saved ya. Are you relaxing? You're all tied down, right?"

"Is Histoire talking to you, Neptune?" Jacob asked.

"Hush! Grown-ups are talking!" Neptune went back to listening to her thoughts. "All that aside, what's new?"

"You know," began Nisa, "I never knew how boring it was to not be the main protagonist and, by extension, not have the ability to telepathically communicate with the MacGuffin character."

"I know…" responded Compa, slightly depressed.

"Ooh!" Neptune turned back to the party. "Histy's gonna give us plot-driving information!"

"Oh, really? Cool. Does she know where the Guard Vermins are?" Jacob asked.

Neptune listened to her thoughts again. "… Nope. However, she said someone's coming for us. Is this the 'she' who sealed you away?"

"'She'? Is this Arfoire?" Jacob asked.

"…" Neptune was listening to Histoire again before she turned to Jacob. "She wants to know how you knew that."

"Well-"

"Hold on, actually. She says for you to… hold my hand? Is that right, Histy?" A faint blush appeared on Neptune's face.

Jacob sighed. He walked up to Neptune and took her hand in his, ignoring her growing blush and her growing smile. She looked like she was ready to burst from happiness.

"_Is this Jacob?_" he could hear a feminine voice say in his head.

"Yeah, it's me. Did you want something?"

"_I did. How, exactly, did you know Arfoire's name?_"

"… I'm not of this world. My circumstances are very complicated but, I assure you, I am here to help. Anyway, do you know where, exactly, the Key Fragments are?"

"_I am the world's everything and the world is my everything. There is nothing I do not know. Pertaining to this world, I mean. You are of another world and, so, you are not a natural existence of Gamindustri._"

"Please get on with it."

"_Yes, my apologies. In any event, the locations of the Key Fragments are recorded in my tome. However, not only would it take me three days to find out where even one of them is, my sealing has restricted my access to my tome. I am sorry for this inconvenience._"

"Don't worry about it…" Jacob thought of another question. "Oh, who's Overlord Momus?"

"_Overlord Momus? … No, I have never heard of such a being._"

"We were told he sealed away one of the goddesses and forced the other three to flee."

"_You are being misled. Overlord Momus does not exist… I am sorry but I cannot keep up this communication. Please be… caref…_"

Jacob and Neptune waited a few moments for Histoire to say something else.

"… Be careful of what?" Neptune asked but she received no response. "Did we get disconnected? Ugh, she should switch telepathy carriers."

"So what did she say?" Nisa asked.

"Well, she doesn't know where the Key Fragments are. On the other hand, she said that Momus doesn't exist," said Jacob.

"So the heretic was out of his mind after all," IF noted.

"Still…" Jacob crossed his arms, "that raises some questions. See, Neptune and the other goddesses had a fight, right? So Neptune was pushed off Celestia and fell to the ground below, presumably moments before I found her. We went to Gamindustri and, lo and behold, the other goddesses are in their Basilicoms."

"… I don't get it," Compa responded.

"I think I do. Why, exactly, would they be in their Basilicoms the day after Neptune fell to the ground below?" Nisa asked.

"Exactly." Jacob smiled. "Either they came to an agreement to keep tabs on Neptune- which I highly doubt- or something indeed chased them out of Celestia."

"They could just be coming down to check on their landmasses, you know," IF argued.

"That would make sense if only one of them came down, but all three, and at the same time? Definitely not. Something definitely happened in Celestia."

IF sighed. "I'll take your word for it. Did Histoire say anything else?"

"Yeah, she said that Arfoire's gunning for us," Jacob answered.

"I think she's the one who sealed Histy, too," Neptune added.

IF put her hand to her chin. "… What if this Arfoire is the same as that Overlord Momus? They'd both be connected to creating the monsters."

Jacob's eyebrows rose a bit. "Well, that's an interesting thought; Arfoire's the final boss." Then he had a realisation. "You don't suppose she's the one who pushed Neptune off in the first place and chased the other goddesses away?"

"Can we talk about this later?" Nisa whined. "I'm hungry and it's getting late. The heroine of justice needs food and rest in order to fuel her passion."

"I know, right?" Neptune definitely agreed.

"Yes! I knew Lady Purple Heart, in all her infinite wisdom, would agree with me!" Nisa extended her hand towards Neptune. "Neptune, I have never met a person whose soul has resonated with mine as much as yours. Will you swear sisterhood with me?"

Neptune gasped in surprise. "Nisa… Of course I will!" Neptune quickly grasped Nisa's hand in the same way she grasped Jacob's when they first met. "From this day forward, we shall fight to protect the weak and stop the onslaught of dragons and chickens that spontaneously change private parts!"

The spectacle left the other three party members stunned silent.

"What is… I don't… Is that even a game reference?" Jacob asked, genuinely confused.

IF face palmed. "Can we just go? Please?"

Jacob sighed. "Fine… Yeah, let's do that…"

And so the party walked back to the gondola. "So, what did we learn today?" Jacob asked.

"Um…" Compa counted on her fingers. "We learned that Momus isn't real… The Parliament is controlling the Basilicom, something happened to the other goddesses in Celestia and Arfoire is now actively looking for us."

The party was silent for a moment.

"So we've learned absolutely nothing useful on this whole trip," IF noted.

"Oh my goodness…" Jacob massaged his temples. "This was, for all intents and purposes, a waste of time."

"Well, that plot-driving information wasn't very plot-driving at all," said Neptune.

"Hey, cheer up," said Nisa. "Why do we not check up on Chian when we return?"

"I suppose it's better than nothing…" IF seemed to agree. "Maybe it'll kick-start the plot."

Feeling in low spirits once again, the party entered the gondola lift and headed back to Lastation.

* * *

><p><strong>I think I've figured out my writing flaws. You see, in my previous chapter, I attempted to evoke emotion and be descriptive during the Expo revelation and the Black Heart fight. However, this was completely contrary to the plain, simple style I had been writing in for the majority of the fanfiction. I know why; I had been treating this fanfic like a video game or a movie, attempting to be visual even through a text-based format. This had to change! And so I resolved to treat this more like a novel. How did I go?<strong>

**I bet you're wondering about that scripted cutscene. Well, I'm fortunate enough to be at a point in the game (New Game +) where I can just play through the dungeons as I come across them and get the cutscenes and monsters in the dungeons. I'm annoyed that I can't access the Bestiary in dungeons but whatever. Anyway, that cutscene appeared for me even when I didn't encounter any monsters. I found that pretty funny so I wrote about it.**

**And something else I'd like to talk about. I've posted my ****Hyperdimension Neptunia**** review on my Porecomesis Reviews blog on blogspot so feel free to check it out. Also feel free to give me any constructive criticism you can offer (but no flames, mind you; those don't help anyone).**


	13. Fight or Flight

**And the next chapter is up! I think you'll all like this one.**

**crimsonheresy: You lazy prick. :P And that is still up for debate and decision (not in my mind, though: I've already come to a conclusion).**

**godofmadness43: I KNOW, RIGHT? Jeez... the problem with Hyperdimension Neptunia is that the plot is never moved by the major characters themselves; it's always an outside influence that nudges things in the plot direction.**

**one who walks the path of fire: Thanks. As for the chickens... I'm sorry for not bringing this up but that was actually a reference to Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Long story short, I watched this anime based on it and I was curious as to how close to the source material it was. I was only a few chapters in when I saw chickens spontaneously changing sex and dragons appearing out of nowhere. I'm still waiting on Samus Aran to show up. Hold on: what's this about a goddess?**

**Moondrag: I have a little sister and a little brother. Call me protective (also very excited because I bought mk2 and I plan on reviewing that. :D). Also, I hated Star Ocean: The Last Hope as well. I'm hard to please. Also... no, just... no.  
><strong>

**Zaralann: Thank you.**

**Eisenfaust: Hm... Excellent, thank you, yes, I don't know, maybe, that'll happen when it happens, okay, you'll find out and here you go.**

**Eyeshield: Heh. I try, man. Well, that's the standard, anyway. Also, that's absolutely right (although a surprising percentage of players go to Lastation first).**

**Guest: No.**

**Guest: Still no. Check out the .hack/G.U/Hyperdimension Neptunia crossover if you really want that. This fic is strictly Hyperdimension Neptunia only.**

**Red-Drive: Thanks heaps and I will keep trying.**

**kevin bosak 7: Thank you.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13: Fight or Flight<strong>

With no more leads, the party decided that the best course of action would be to check on Chian. The poor girl had been grieving for about an hour now so the party believed that she might like someone to talk to. Possibly, this might also get the plot on track.

"Hey Chian!" said Neptune as cheerily as ever as the party walked through the front door. "Ya stopped crying yet?"

"Neptune, don't be so blunt," Jacob rebuked.

"Oh, hey," greeted Chian as she brushed the floor with a broom. As a silhouette, it was hard to identify if she looked any worse but her hair was definitely a bit messy. "Do you need anything?"

"We're okay," Compa replied. "We just wanted to see how you were fairing."

Chian might have smiled. "Ah, thank you. I appreciate you all checking up on me. I'm all right now." She went behind the bar and put the broom away, allowing the party to take their usual places on the stools.

"Are you sure? The Tech Expo may be gone but I'm sure there's another way to help!" said Compa.

Chian might have smirked. "I know. I'm not giving up yet."

"That's the spirit," responded Nisa. "With the fires of determination, justice will prevail. I'm sure someone of your willpower can overcome any challenge!"

Chian fidgeted a bit. She seemed to be a bit embarrassed. "To hear that from Nisa herself… It's a hell of a confidence booster. Thanks heaps!" She then composed herself. "Anyway, the shop called and told me to gather up the materials I ordered a while ago."

"You want us to get them for you?" Jacob guessed.

"As sharp as ever. You still have the map, right? It should be pretty simple to find."

"Yeah, about that…" Jacob paused to take the map out of his disc. "We looked at the map and… Am I right if I say we need to go through a dungeon to get to the shop?"

"Sounds about right. Why, is there a problem? You go through multiple dungeons every day."

"Yeah, but… Look at this."

Jacob rolled out the map on the bench. It was a very easy to follow map but, at the same time, it was very hard. It was easy to follow because the directions were very clearly defined and Jacob knew there was not a chance in hell they could get lost. It was hard to follow because, for the life of him, Jacob could not fathom why the shop was located behind a dungeon that was only accessible from the dungeon side by the gondola.

"Why, exactly, is the shop on the other side of a _dungeon_ which is on a floating island?" Jacob asked.

Chian shrugged. "Dunno. You can probably ask him that when you get there."

Jacob sighed. "Well," he began as he rolled up the map to put it away, "how about this: we'll go the next day, because I'm tired and it's been a long day, and I'll go alone."

"Wha?" This caught Neptune off guard.

IF raised an eyebrow. "Why would you want to go alone?"

"I'll go on the gondola to the dungeon, fly over it, get the materials and come back. I skip the dungeon, we get the materials faster, everyone's happy. How's that?"

No variant of Justice Kick could have killed a monster faster than Jacob killed the conversation then and there.

No one could tell for sure but Chian may or may not have been surprised enough to have her eyes open wide. Neptune looked at Jacob with fascinated wonder and surprise with her jaw hanging open, Compa looked pale and surprised, IF's eyes were so wide open it was funny and Nisa looked just a few degrees off Neptune.

Jacob looked between his comrades. He then sighed and held the bridge of his nose. "What is it?"

"Jake, you're… performing a _dungeon bypass?_" Compa asked.

"Whoooa!" Neptune had stars in her eyes. "I never knew you were such a rebel!"

"Watch out, everyone! We have a badass over here!" Chian shouted in amusement.

"That's… Whoa, I knew you liked breaking the rules of this world but… I didn't think you'd go _that_ far," commented IF.

"_Squeeeee!_" went Nisa all of a sudden. "I never knew my pupil was such a daredevil! Oh, who knows what he'll do next?"

"Why couldn't I have gone to Skies of Arcadia instead?" muttered Jacob.

"What?" Neptune asked.

"Nothing. Anyway, how's that?"

"Eh… I like the idea but I don't think the goddess will," Chian explained. "None of them care much for rule breakers. Or so I've heard."

Jacob could feel the awkwardness of that statement with his party. "I think I'll be fine," he responded. "Now, I want to head back and get some good sleep."

"Fair enough. Thanks for all your help, by the way," Chian replied.

"You're welcome." Jacob turned to Neptune. "Shall we?"

"Absolutely! Everyone, off we go!" The party got off the stools and walked to the door.

"E-Excuse me," called Chian nervously before they exited.

"Hm?" The party looked back at her.

"Um, Nisa…" Chian began as she looked around her work area. "If it's not too much trouble…" After another pause, she took out a missile launcher and placed it on the bench, "… could you autograph my weapon, please?"

The party, needless to say, was surprised by the hulking oh-my-goodness-gracious-it-can-take-out-an-entire-building-in-a-single-shot weapon in the possession of the somewhat scrawny woman whose reasons for using it and past history with it are still unknown to them.

Nisa, however, wasn't deterred. "Sure thing!" From her little star pouch, she took out her prinny gun and extended the blade. "Normally, I'd use a marker but, since this is a weapon, I'll make it special for you."

One by one, Nisa etched the letters of her name into the side of the missile launcher. Not too deeply, mind you; she knew how these weapons worked and she wanted to make sure it was still usable.

"There we go." Nisa stood back and smiled, her prinny gun put away. "Now the name of justice will be with you wherever you go."

"Oh, thank you!" Chian held the rocket launcher closely. "I will treasure this forever!"

"It was my pleasure." Nisa turned back to her companions. "Now, shall we depart?"

* * *

><p>"Oh crap," said Jacob as they all entered the motel room.<p>

"What?" responded Compa.

"We only have four beds."

"Oh… Is there a problem with that?"

Jacob circled the air with his finger to gesture the group as a whole.

Compa looked confused.

Jacob looked at her with an 'are you kidding me' expression.

Compa still looked confused.

Jacob held the bridge of his nose. "Compa, there are five of us."

"Ah, I see."

A few moments passed and Compa's normal expression suddenly shifted to that of realisation. "Oh… I see now."

"Exactly. Where is Sensei going to sleep?"

"Not to worry, my pupil!" Nisa didn't mind at all that she might have to sleep on the floor. "A true hero of justice can sleep anywhere! Why, I remember this one time I was stuck inside the stomach of an Egg Dragon for three days. Painful and cramped but… that beast certainly had a delectable diet..." Nisa licked her lips. "Who knew that monsters had a fondness for quiches with strawberries in them?"

"A fascinating story," said Jacob with haste, really not wanting to hear the details. "Regardless, I insist you sleep in a bed. Now, you can either share with someone, someone-"

"Ooh! Me me me me me me!" repeated Neptune. "We can sleep together like sisters!" Neptune held out her arm to Nisa in the sisterhood gesture. "Come on, sis; tonight, we will rest in each other's warmth."

"Hell yes!" Nisa grabbed Neptune's hand as she emulated the gesture. "Our bond is truly one that cannot be torn apart. I look forward to sleeping with you!"

IF opened her mouth a bit to say something but then she thought 'nah' and closed it.

"… If you say so. Now, Neptune and Compa, could you let the dogs out?" requested Jacob as he pulled one of the toy dogs out.

Compa was most definitely confused. "Why?"

"Well," Jacob pulled out another one, "if we leave them out, they can keep watch for us so that no one tries to burgle us. Understand?"

"Oh, I get it! Smart thinking!" responded Neptune as she took out ArfArf, who she identified by drawing a purple heart on its side with a marker. "Alright then, we'll get the dogs and then we'll head to sleep." She rubbed her nose against ArfArf's. "Isn't that right, ArfArf?"

ArfArf whined happily, wagging its tail.

* * *

><p>The next morning wasn't very eventful. IF woke up Jacob, Compa made breakfast, Neptune tended to the dogs and everyone made small talk (well, with Nisa and Neptune, it was more like loud talk) before Jacob scheduled himself to leave.<p>

"Jake, are you sure you have everything?" Compa asked.

"I have the reflex, my jetpack, my gauntlets, some apples and a water bottle," replied Jacob as he patted his disc. "I think I'm set."

Compa still looked a bit worried. "Are you sure? Do you need better armour? I think you need better armour."

"Says the girl who wears nothing more than a wool jumper and a ridiculously short skirt."

Compa was caught off guard. "W-Well… Just be careful, okay?"

"Compa, I'll be fine." Jacob was trying hard to keep his exasperation to a minimum.

"He's right, my dear friend Compa!" Nisa jumped into the conversation. "He is my pupil, so put aside your fears! He will triumph against any obstacle!"

"Or bypass it, as he intends to," chipped in IF.

"Jacooooob!" Neptune ran forward to hug Jacob. "No matter what happens, never give in. Know that we will always be with you, for our hearts are united-"

Jacob pushed Neptune away. "Neptune, for the love of God, I'll be _fine_. I'm just picking up materials. I'll be back before you know it."

Neptune pouted. "Well, fine. Have fun and be back soon."

"Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf!" went the many dogs that were gathered out the front.

Jacob smiled. "I'll be back quickly, alright?" He bent down to pat one of the dogs. "Have a good day."

"Bye Jake!" Compa waved goodbye as Jacob rose into the air and flew off towards the gondola.

Nisa put her hands on her hips. "Well, now what do we do?"

"Hm…" Neptune thought for a moment. "Let's go to the arcade!"

IF shrugged. "Why not? Nothing else to do."

"It sounds like fun, too," commented Compa.

"Yay!" Neptune turned to the dogs and bent down to talk to them. "Now, everyone, we're going to have a girl's day out so I want you to be good while we're gone, alright?"

"Don't leave a mess and clean after yourselves," Compa added. "Also, don't talk to any strangers."

"Arf arf!" The dogs barked in acknowledgement.

"Excellent! Now, on to the arcade!"

* * *

><p>Jacob would never admit this to the party as IF would most likely verbally lash him but he was actually taking his time getting to the gondola. He was doing this by practising flying faster and some more flying postures. He loved his jetpack: it meant he could go right over the forest below him that was more than likely infested with monsters that he just didn't care to fight that day. He enjoyed his ability to fly because it allowed him to defy the arbitrary get-in-line-ness of Gamindustri. Being able to defy the rules and act how he wanted was a freedom he enjoyed.<p>

Still, all good things much come to an end so Jacob eventually took out the map and began to follow it.

"Alright, it should be this way…" Jacob was thankful he had the map; he couldn't see the gondola from where he was and he doubted there was anyone around to give him directions. All he had to do now was-

"Hold it right there."

He froze.

Slowly, Jacob turned around, recognising the voice but not wanting to believe it.

He saw her and his heart sank.

"How'd you find me, Black Heart?" he asked.

* * *

><p><strong>gr8kraker: <strong>saw sum dood flyin in a jetpack. No thrustrs or wings.

**HungryHippo: **lolz, nub

**gr8kraker: **ikr

**I-S:** He's probably a friend of mine. I wonder how he's doing?

* * *

><p>Black Heart smirked. "Never underestimate the power of information. Also, you stick out like a sore thumb when you fly."<p>

"I'll make sure to keep that in mind," Jacob responded as he put the map away.

This was bad. Really, really bad. Black Heart, much like Purple Heart, was extremely fast, extremely strong and extremely capable in close combat. Jacob was none of those things. Furthermore, she could fly, much better and faster than him, meaning there was nowhere he could go without her being able to close the distance as quickly as she did during their last bout. Being a strategist, using the environment to his advantage and taking advantage of how his weapons worked were out of question: there was nothing in the sky that he could use for anything, his Wide Roar was too weak, his Wrecking Ball could be easily dodged and would only do more harm than good and his basic attacks wouldn't do much damage at all. If only Neptune and Nisa were here…

Right now, there was only one option.

"What do you want with me?" Jacob tried to stall for time by making conversation.

Black Heart raised her massive sword to Jacob. "I want to know where Neptune is."

"I'm not telling you." So much for that idea. "I don't know what you're planning but I won't ever let it happen."

Black Heart seemed to sigh in disappointment. She put her cocky smirk back on, though. "Well, that's a shame. This will hurt you, then."

Black Heart zoomed towards him.

Jacob quickly raised his hands and fired a Wide Roar at Black Heart. Thankfully, he was quick on the draw.

"_Nnnnnnnngh!_" While the giant red laser was able to at least harm her, he knew it was only a small nuisance at best. This is why he took advantage of her momentary distraction to fire a Wrecking Ball at her. The attack hit true and sent her back quite a distance. However, the recoil sent Jacob back about the same. Not that he was worried; the further he was from Black Heart, the better.

While he was still rolling through the air, he managed to right himself before flying down into the forest, landing on the ground and dashing forward. Hopefully, he could lose her there. No matter what, he had to get back to the motel. Now that Black Heart was away from him, he could make some progress as long as he stayed out of sight and out of mind. With that in mind, he kept an eye and an ear out for a well-bodied woman with long, bright, white flowing hair, a massive sword, two ornate wings and a revealing skin-tight suit.

Jacob really lamented not having a mobile phone right now. If he had one, he could have called IF and brought in reinforcements in the form of Nisa, IF and Neptune. However, the fact is he didn't so he had to make do with himself.

He got tired of dashing and just walked after a few minutes. So far, he hadn't seen a trace of Black Heart anywhere so he calmed down a bit and took in the forest. It was just a stock JRPG forest but it was a nice break from the dungeons, even more so with the sun out. Conspicuously, the skies were also clear despite being Lastation's skies but, at this point, Jacob was inclined to just roll with it. One thing puzzled him, though:

Where were all the monsters?

Not that he minded not having to fight off Gyukis or Chimeras while an extremely powerful adversary could be right around the corner but aren't forests meant to be monster hives? He'd been walking for at least five minutes now and he still hadn't seen hair or hide of a monster. Were they not counted as dungeons or something? Even if so, he had to fight them in a forest at Avenir's request. Do they just not show up unless the story asks for them?

Whatever. He had someone to escape and this wasn't the time or place to take in his surroundings and question the logic of the world. Right now, he had to keep moving, lest Black Heart found him.

The devil herself landed on the ground behind him.

"There you are," she said as he quickly turned around. He tried to raise his arms to fire an attack but Black Heart seemingly flash in front of him, grabbed him by the throat and pushed him against the tree. "I told you you'd pay for what you did in that cave."

"Hey, Nisa did tha-"

Black Heart tightened her grip to silence his rebuttal. "Shut up. Now…" She leaned in closer to his face, her smirk completely gone. "I have questions I want answered."

"And what… makes you think… I'll answer them…?" Jacob struggled to ask.

Black Heart saw what effect she had on him so she loosened her grip slightly. "Because I am the CPU of Lastation, who you attacked. That is a very serious crime, you know. I could even sentence you to lifelong imprisonment for it. But…" she smirked again, "I can let that go, you know. After all, I'm not dead for it and you haven't injured me that much. No one has to know of your transgressions. All you have to do-"

"I'm not telling you were Neptune is," Jacob replied quickly.

Black Heart exhaled out her nose, clearly disappointed. She then put on her serious face. "Your name is… Jacob, right? Such an odd name. Regardless, you need to know something: I can and will hurt you. A lot. Do you want to know why?" She tightened her grip on Jacob's throat. "I can because, on top of being a CPU, I am the CPU of Lastation, the greatest nation of all. You, on the other hand, are just a mere human who thought he could actually compete with _me_.

"Now…" In anger, she gripped even harder. Jacob let out a gasp of pain as her claws managed to puncture the sides of his neck, drawing blood, "… I _will_ hurt you because, and this may surprise you, I do not take kindly to people who _dare_ to injure me. I take even less kindly to people who make me _flee_ like a coward." She brought her head closer to his, her eyes locked into his to get across her raw fury bubbling under a relatively safe surface. "That last one is something I cannot forgive, so you can either tell me where I can find Neptune or you will face my wrath."

Jacob was silent for a moment.

"Well? What is your answer?" she asked, impatient.

Jacob closed his eyes for another moment. He then opened them again.

The resolution and anger that Black Heart saw in them only annoyed her more.

Quickly, Jacob raised his hand and fired an orb at her face. It didn't do much but, packing all the force of one of his full-power punches, it was successful at forcing her off of him, which was more than enough. In panic, he followed up his attack with an actual full-power punch delivered by his right hand at her face, causing her to spin and stumble. Seeing his chance, he activated his jetpack and rose into the air before zooming towards the motel again, faster than he'd ever gone before.

Unfortunately, Black Heart recovered very quickly. After getting her bearings, she looked up and followed Jacob. As she was the faster and more manoeuvrable of the two, it was no surprise that she caught up with him in no time at all.

It was a surprise, however, when Jacob rose up just as Black Heart was about to tackle him, letting inertia take her a bit ahead of him and giving him the perfect window to blast her with a Wide Roar. He cancelled his attack and moved to the side just as Black Heart charged forward and performed a diagonal swipe. Her following horizontal slash was dodged by Jacob dropping into the forest below and moved just out of her sight.

"You're not getting away from me!" Black Heart snarled as she followed him down. She scanned the area briefly and saw Jacob running between some trees. Quick on the draw as always, she took out her handgun and aimed it at Jacob.

_BANG!_

"ARGH!" While the fire bullet only impacted Jacob's jetpack, the impact force still travelled through it, striking pain into his shoulder and making him trip over one of the many roots in the forest, the tip of which dug into his cheek and left a large scar. Thinking quickly and ignoring the pain, he used his jetpack to get into the sky. His timing couldn't have been better; a second later and Black Heart's sword would have hit him like a guillotine.

Black Heart growled as she rose into the sky again to chase him down. Once she caught sight of him, she raised her handgun to open fire but he dived back down into the forest again before she could. She flew over to where he dived and prepared to dive in but then she saw Jacob resurface a small distance away and fly further.

While she was confused, she didn't question it; she took her chance. She shot in his direction but missed and he dove again.

"Hm…" This time, she decided to wait.

One second…

Two seconds…

Three seconds…

Around fifteen metres away from where he dived last, he repeated his pattern.

"Oh, so that's what you're up to," Black Heart muttered. She went back into the forest and proceeded to zoom through the trees fast and skilfully as if she had been doing this for a lifetime. After a few seconds of this, she saw Jacob drop down and run to a different spot. Clearly, his ineptitude with flying meant he couldn't risk flying at high speeds between trees.

This was a good day for her.

"Hello!" she loudly announced her presence, causing him to turn around just in time to receive a double kick to the torso.

"**ARGH!**" The attack sent him rolling on the ground for a few meters.

"Did you honestly think you could escape from me?" She walked up to him. "I thought I told you: I am Black Heart, CPU of Lastation. Now, let's cut to the chase." She lifted him up with one hand, making sure not to agitate his wounds any further, and walked to the nearest tree.

He tried to say something but it was evident he was in too much pain.

"You will tell me where Neptune is. In case you didn't know, I am currently in control of this situation. Either you tell me where Neptune is or you will be imprisoned. Is that clear?"

Despite his current condition, he somehow found it in him to grit his teeth and shake his head.

Black Heart growled. "You are treading on thin ice, Jacob," she warned as she drew her handgun and pressed it against his stomach. "Where, is, Neptune?"

Jacob couldn't use his force orbs. He could try but, not only did he doubt that the same trick would work twice, he'd get rewarded with a shot to the gut. His lasers wouldn't do anything. Not that he could use them; even if he had the reflexes to pull it off when he was at full strength, he was too weakened to raise his arms quickly enough to attack and distract. The same went for his legs.

Fortunately, his head was in the optimal position to spit in her eyes.

"_Ah! _Ew!" she screamed as she let go of him and took a step back. "What is wrong with you? That is disgusting!" She tried wiping it out. "_Ow!_ I hate these claws!"

After several laborious seconds of wiping her eyes with her wrist, she finally felt it was okay to open her eyes again. Once she did, she found that Jacob was nowhere to be found.

"_Damn it all!_"

* * *

><p>"And the heroine of justice wins again!" Nisa cheered as she pumped her fist at an arcade machine.<p>

"Aw, no fair!" whined Neptune on the machine beside her. "I demand a rematch, and you're allowed to use Gin Tsurugi anymore!"

"Neptune, you've played eight games already and you haven't won any of them," said IF. "Give it up already; other people want a turn."

The rest of the party was in the arcade. Even though all the black and the massive neon sign saying "Lastation's #1 Arcade" with a subtitle of "You Can Do Everything Here" (there was another subtitle at the bottom saying "D-Don't think I'm saying you're skilled or anything, though", much to the confusion of the girls) made the place somewhat forbidding from the outside, the inside was okay. Black tiled floors and a black ceiling with large, white walls made the inside less than gloomy, helped by the person at the counter being kind, patient and helpful. There were all kinds of entertainment here: a bowling alley, pool tables, claw games, fighting games, racing simulators… The list went on forever! According to the man at the counter, there was also a laser tag area. The girls were all excited for that and signed up at once.

While they were waiting for that, they decided to play some of the games the arcade had to offer. Almost immediately, Nisa and Neptune got themselves hooked on a fighting game called FreezRed.

The girls all made an agreement that Jacob should never come here.

"But Iffy," Neptune began, "third time's the charm, ya know!"

"You said that on the third game. That didn't get you anywhere."

"Yeah but this will be the _ninth_ game. Nine is three times three. It has to work!"

"If that actually did work, I would be more surprised than I am right now at you actually knowing how to perform basic multiplication."

"Come on, Iffy! Just one more game, I promise!" Neptune begged, grabbing onto the front of IF's jacket.

IF groaned. "Fine, do what you want. I'm going to play with Compa."

"Yahoo!" Neptune turned away from the leaving figure of IF to face. "Come on, my sister! We have yet to finish!"

"Right you are, my comrade in arms!" Nisa swiped her Lastation Arcade card in the machine's card reader again. "But know this: I will always be victorious!"

"Nuh-uh!" Neptune swiped her own card through the reader. "This time, I'm gonna win! The stars are in my favour!"

Nearby, Compa was trying her luck at a claw game. She took a moment to look at the claw through the side of the machine to see if she was aligned right. She switched between looking through the side and front adjusting the claw all the while the timer ticked down to zero. When it finally hit it, the claw descended onto what she wanted: a big plush doll of a yellow cat person with brown stripes that people called a 'Rombacks'. The three pincers rested on the side of the side of its head.

"Pleasepleaseplease…" Compa chanted.

It didn't work; the pincers slid off as the claw rose.

"Aw…" Compa hung her head in disappointment.

"Lost again?" IF asked as she went to Compa's side.

"Yeah…" Compa sighed. "I really wanted it…"

"… Well, give me a go," IF offered. "I think I can do it."

"Really?" asked Compa as she looked at her for once. "Oh thank you, Iffy- I mean, IF…" Compa stepped back and looked to the side awkwardly. "… Sorry…"

IF sighed. "It's okay. Just don't do it again."

IF stood in front of the machine and swiped her card in the reader. The button saying "Start" lit up. IF took a moment to stretch her arms and flex her wrists, exercising before she took on the strenuous task of pressing a button and moving a joystick.

"Hey, IF?"

"Hm?" IF responded as she pressed the Start button. "Something wrong?"

"I've just been thinking… You know how Jacob said that our world is just a video game?"

"… Yeah…?" IF was still listening to Compa but she focused diligently on the claw machine. If she moved it to the right a bit…

"Well… Just... What… What does that mean for us?"

"… What do you mean?" IF was confused.

"I mean, if we're video game characters…" Compa took a breath, "Does that… Does that mean-"

"Hold on," interrupted IF, as the machine was counting down.

Two…

One…

The claw descended on the Rombacks that Compa wanted before. This time, the pincers were secure and they carried the doll into the prize chute. IF took it out.

Compa was impressed. "That was amazing, I- F!"

IF smirked.

"_Nooooooooo!_"

IF and Compa both looked towards Neptune, who was resting her head on the control panel of the FreezRed console. Surprisingly, Nisa rubbed her back consolingly rather than shout about how justice triumphed again or whatever.

IF sighed. "Anyway, you were saying?" she asked as she took the doll from the chute.

"Oh, right, sorry. Um- Oh, thank you." Compa took the Rombacks that IF presented to her. "Well, if we're video game characters… What are we meant to do?"

"… Huh? What do you mean by that?"

"Well…" Compa was growing increasingly anxious. "Do we have a purpose? I know Nep-Nep said that I should just do the things I enjoy doing and treat it like this is reality… but what if someone made me for a reason? Shouldn't I be doing what they want me to-"

"Stop right there." IF's expression changed to one of stone-cold seriousness. "Compa, there's something you should know, more than anything else. Do you understand?"

"…" Compa began sweating. "Yes…?"

"Good." IF turned to face Compa entirely. "Now listen up: just because someone gave you life or whatever, you do not owe them anything. You're allowed to do whatever you want; it's your life, not theirs. They can't tell you what you want to do, what you're meant to do, who you want to worship or any of that because those are _your_ choices to make. It's your freedom and they can't take that from you no matter what. Get it? Even if this is just a video game, your choices are your own and you can think whatever you want."

Compa didn't say anything.

"… Compa," said IF.

"Oh, sorry. That's just… very detailed."

IF sighed. "I know."

Just then, the PA system sprang to life. "Hello everyone, Game 43 is about to start in Laser Tag so could all players participating in Game 43 please go to the arena now, please? I repeat…"

"That's us!" Compa exclaimed.

"I know. Let's get Neptune and Nisa."

* * *

><p>Jacob's lungs were hurting like crazy but he couldn't stop running. Actually, to say he was running would be a disservice to running itself; he was more falling forward and barely catching himself multiple times in rapid succession as he held his chest where Black Heart kicked him. He couldn't go into the sky; she'd find him again. She'd shoot him again. Or maybe try to cut him in half. He didn't know. He didn't care.<p>

He was too frightened to.

He was too frightened to even drink one of the two bottles of reflex he borrowed from Compa before leaving; if Black Heart caught up with him, they would be useless anyway. Even though Black Heart was the type to search the sky as she wouldn't try zooming through the trees again because she didn't even know where he was, he wouldn't take any chances. He couldn't take any chances. All he had to do now was keep "running". It didn't matter that his legs were aching and the very act of breathing was hurting; he was going back to the motel. To the city. He had to return. He _had_ to.

"_Where_-"

Jacob dived (or, more actually, tumbled on purpose) into the nearest set of bushes.

"- _are you?_"

He peeked through the foliage to the sky and, sure enough, Black Heart was hovering overhead, looking for him.

"_Show yourself!_" As usual, she loved to loudly announce her presence and communicate her position to an unfriendly long-range attack specialising target she couldn't see but knew for a fact was there and possibly aiming their laser sights up her left nostril at that moment. Given the current direction of the fight and how Jacob couldn't inflict much damage anyway, however, her actions were rather justified.

Jacob stayed perfectly still as she moved back and forth in the air. Every painful wheeze and every miniscule shudder was suppressed for the sake of living a while longer. All he had to do now was wait. He'd wait forever, if he had to.

Thankfully, Black Heart's impatient nature arrived to show that such wouldn't the case.

"Well, it seems you've eluded me!" she called. "I could comb over the entire forest but I have my own duties to attend to! However, you will remember this: I _will_ find you and you _will_ pay for what you did to Neptune!"

… Wait; what?

Even if he had the ability to question her, he didn't have the opportunity; she flew away back to where he guessed the Basilicom was. Even so, he stayed hidden. What if this was but a mere ploy on her part to lure him out of hiding? It was hardly an original technique. He wouldn't be a fool; he wouldn't expose himself, not unless he was absolutely sure she had left.

That is why he stayed in those bushes for a full on ten minutes (at least, he guessed; he wasn't actually counting). Not once during those six hundred seconds did he hear Black Heart demanding he present himself or see her fly across the air like a vulture. With what he decreed to be a safe opportunity, he decided to drink his bottles of reflex, one after the other.

At last, his neck wounds had closed and he could actually speak without hurting himself. His pain had been numbed and he stood up. All at once, he contemplated what had happened: he evaded Lady Black Heart, CPU of Lastation. Every step of the way, he defied her and outsmarted her, shoving her pride into the dirt. And… if he said so himself, he flew very well that day.

He chuckled.

"So… much… for… that…" he muttered out of victory. So what if he had been shot, his neck pierced and his chest impacted very hard? At the end of the day, he was alive and she had to run away, victory snatched away from her again. "Eh… Black Heart…?" Using a tree to support himself, he lumbered back to the city.

He wouldn't fly, though. He didn't want to get caught again.

* * *

><p>Chian hummed to herself as she cleaned the dishes accumulated in her small restaurant. It was an okay day for business right now; while Avenir still dominated the engineering market, everything else was going well, including the food industry. A lot of the seats were taken and conversation was abundant. She smiled wide; that chicken noodle soup recipe she found in one of her old recipe books was a hell of a good one and definitely worthy of being soup of the day if the number of customers ordering it was anything to go by. On top of all that, she had a group of reliable adventurers helping her out with the engineering tasks that monsters had made impossible for her or her workers to do. One of them even went out to get her materials she needed.<p>

Chian breathed in through her nose and out her mouth. Yeah, life was definitely good to Chian of Passe.

It was not good to the person who just wandered in the front door.

"Oh, Chian…" he murmured. "I'm sorry… I didn't realise… you were busy…"

Chian almost dropped the dish in her hands.

"Jacob!" She rushed out of the back of the restaurant and headed straight for the unbalanced boy. "What happened to you?"

"It's a long story…" he responded. "I don't suppose you… have a bed somewhere…? I could use some rest…"

Chian turned to all of her customers. "Please give me a moment!" she called as she guided Jacob into the back of the restaurant and to a small bedroom. It didn't have much in it; just a small bed and a set of drawers and a closet, complete with a window and with everything still adopting the brown, wooden aesthetic of her restaurant.

She guided Jacob onto the bed and helped him lie down. "By the Goddess Jacob, what happened to you?"

While the reflex had done most of its job, Jacob was still in bad shape. There was some blood on his neck, a thin scar was present on his cheek and he was still limping like before. She didn't even want to know what kind of injuries the rest of his body had suffered.

"Sorry… I was attacked… I can't tell you who, sorry… It's complicated…" he explained.

"Why didn't you go to Compa? She's a nurse; she could heal you!" Chian said loudly, evidently worried.

Jacob looked off to the side. "I wanted to tell you… I didn't get your materials… I'm sorry…"

Chian facepalmed. "Don't worry about that! Stay right here; I'm going to get Compa and tell her you're here, alright?"

Jacob smiled. "That'd be nice, thanks…"

Chian exited the room, shutting the door behind her, and pulled out her mobile phone. Good thing she had IF on speed dial.

"_Hello?_" answered IF's voice.

"IF, it's Chian," the President of Passe explained. "I need you to come over immediately…"

* * *

><p><strong>GENERAL NOTES<strong>

**1) I don't get it. Why… Why would ANYONE put their shop at the end of a dungeon on a small floating island? Why doesn't Chevre put the shop on the MAIN LANDMASS? I know Avenir's being a jerk but surely that doesn't call for putting your shop at the end of a DUNGEON.**

**2) I have to stop forgetting about the dogs. Very hard to do. I also have to stop forgetting that Compa calls Jacob "Jake" and Neptune "Nep-Nep".**

**3) Yeah, Jacob **_**really**_** regrets calling Black Heart a joke now. Not that it could have been helped; either way, he'd still be playing some sort of live-action ****Slender: Angry Girl With Huge Sword Edition**** where he's actually allowed to leave.**

**4) *sigh* I feel like I'm still having problems controlling pace and timing in this story. No matter what I write, it feels like events are happening way too quickly. I wonder how I'll fix this… Maybe this is just how I view it and I don't have the reader's luxury of waiting a minimum of two months between each update. So, my dear readers, how are the events playing out to you?**

**5) Interesting note: I originally had the Black Heart encounter written as her threatening to kill Jacob rather than merely imprison him (I always thought she was very proud). However, when I looked at the dialogue in retrospect, I had to ask myself "Is she even that brutal?" I mean, she's trying to kill Neptune (yes she is. Did you think she was just going to teabag Purple Heart if she won? No; the Console Wars are the result of the CPUs… well, seeing as this is meant to be a remaking of the story, that would be a spoiler so I'm going to avoid it) so it made sense to me that she'd try to incapacitate Neptune's accomplices, too. However, I still felt something was wrong so I decided to tone her dialogue down a bit.**

**6) I have to say, I like how the end of this chapter turned out. I think the detail's coming to me now. Maybe this is something I just need to do for a bit before it gets stuck in? Damn it, I think I have writer's cramp… Heh.**

**See you all next chapter, folks. Also, please leave feedback and tell me how I went.**


	14. Take a Breather

**Another day, another chapter (a largely inconsequential and somewhat short chapter but a chapter nonetheless). Another chapter, another bunch of reviews to respond to.**

**Zaralann: Here it is.**

**Eyeshield: I try to keep my analogies interesting. Also, I think the pages would have... well, they're not exactly useful; if he was desperate enough, he could scrunch them up and throw them but that's about it. They're about as useful as fake Chaos Emeralds.**

**Eisenfaust: I don't believe better equipment would have helped him unless he had an insta-kill Screw You Assault Rifle.**

**crimson heresy: Well, that strength did Black Heart bugger all good if her prey still escaped, didn't it? Also, if you're not lazy, why are you still not logged in?**

**Saturn56: I don't think White Heart has the patience for torture. Also, PLEASE GIVE ME TIME TO GET TO THE OTHER CPUS. (Also, thank you).**

**godofmadness43: There was always the possibility of her just bringing a basket so that they could have a picnic. A very small possibility that could be measured in nanometres but a possibility nonetheless.**

**one who walks the path of fire: Well, that's most definitely true. Of course, that's assuming he falls onto solid ground in the first place and not straight into the Deep Sea (or whatever it's called)... Bugger it; I'm just going to Persona.**

**Red-Drive: Hehe. Thanks heaps. :D And you'll find out... oh, you'll find out... :D**

**Zdood: That was actually Twitter/Chirper/Whatever Gamindustri uses. Also, those other names were just random. Yeah, Rombacks meant Lombax, good on you for picking that up. Also, sorry in advance for making this chapter largely inconsequential. Still, I'll try and pick up the pace now.**

**MegaRaziel: That's what I was aiming for so thanks heaps. Also, that doesn't make any sense; there is nothing at that dungeon except for his shop. Reaching the end of the dungeon only means that they'll find him and nothing else. The only thing left to do is leave.**

**"Guest": I admit that Neptune's a really hard character to capture and she really blurs the line between "eccentric" and "completely bonkers" but I don't really see her as being subservient; she's pushing as hard as she bloody well can to get Jacob to go with her to Gamindustri. I think 77 other reviews would like to speak against that. Also, if screaming SELF-INSERT is a bad sign of a self-insert fanfiction, what's the point of a self-insert? Do I just write the game's story again without Jacob? What's the point of that? ... Well, as I explained to DMAsh several yonks ago... hold on, let me get it: "**one thing I often see in self-insert fics is the self-insert knowing about the story and how it goes but they never go out of their way to change it and the fanfic in question is more of a novelization with one more character added, which I feel defeats the purpose of a self-insert in the first place."****

**kevin bozak 7: Aw, thanks, man. That really cheers me up. :D And I doubt I will.**

**Crimsonheresy: Just log in already. Anyway, I know that, except I live in Australia and I had to shell out $80 for it. About a month ago.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14: Take a Breather<strong>

Those dining at Chian's restaurant found their lovely oriental atmosphere shattered once again just like how that boy came in, only this time the door was opened about as slowly and softly as a charging rhino, there were actually four boys, three of the boys were actually girls (or two of them, depending on who you asked), they didn't look fatigued or battered and… Okay then, they conceded that there were many differences between the boy and these girls but, when you're trying to dine in peace, all interruptions feel the same.

"Chian!" Compa called. "Where are you?"

Chian came into the restaurant by the entrance that led into the hallway. "Ah, there you are. Come on; Jacob's this way."

Chian led the part of four down the hallway into the room where Jacob was, much to the relief of those dining. Chian opened the door to show the state Jacob was in to the party. The blood on his neck was cleaned off but he still had the scar on his cheek. Before he turned his head to face the party, he was reading a novel in the bed. His clothes were different; his grey t-shirt and hoodie jacket were replaced with a purple t-shirt that was maybe a size or two too big for him. His gauntlets had also been removed and were placed at the foot of his bed.

"Jacob!" Neptune and Compa rushed over to Jacob's side and bent down.

Jacob smiled at them as easily as he did every other day but no one was fooled; they could all tell that Jacob felt weak. "Hey, Neptune. Did you have fun while I was gone?"

"Never mind that, dummy!" Neptune retorted. "What happened to you?"

Jacob sighed. "I can't really say."

"Why not?" asked IF.

Jacob glanced in Chian's direction.

Thankfully, she seemed to get the hint. "Oh, this is private business? Alright then, I'll leave you alone." Chian left the room and shut the door.

"Okay then…" Jacob turned back to his friends. "Black Heart found me."

"_What?_" everyone shouted.

"H-How?" asked Compa.

"Guess she found me while I was flying. She wanted to know where Neptune was. When I refused to say, she attacked," Jacob explained. "You can see how that went."

"I can't believe you had to fight Lady Black Heart all alone in the middle of nowhere…" IF looked concerned. "How did you escape?"

"It wasn't easy but I ultimately spat in her eyes when she pushed me up against a tree to give myself the distraction I needed to get away."

"Why didn't you call for help?" IF asked.

Jacob looked at IF, hesitant to speak. After three seconds of this silence, he turned his gaze to his feet.

"… Well?" IF pressed on.

Jacob, defeated, sighed. "I don't have a mobile phone."

IF raised an eyebrow. "You don't?"

"I don't," confirmed Jacob in a tone that indicated he preferred to not pursue this topic.

"… Why don't- oh, right." IF facepalmed. "I can't believe I forgot about you being from another world. You don't even have a phone that works here."

"… That's right." Jacob nodded, wisely keeping to himself how he didn't have a mobile phone in his world either. "I should probably work on that." He then leaned back on the bed, looking at the roof with regret. "I can't believe I went out into hostile territory alone without any means of communicating with you all…"

"Hey, don't worry about it," IF said reassuringly. "This happens a lot more often than you think. At least we know now for next time. Still… That was incredibly brash of us."

"No doubt about it." Jacob turned to Neptune. "I at least should have taken you with me. You can fly, so you could have bypassed the dungeon with me."

"Why didn't you?" Neptune asked.

Jacob smiled as if he just remembered an embarrassing memory. "I didn't want to inconvenience you. Plus, I thought I could get it done faster on my own."

"Hey, don't worry about that," Neptune responded. "We're a party! If you scratch my back, I'll scratch your itchy spots."

Compa smiled. "My grandpa said that all the time."

"… Okay then." Jacob decided to move the conversation along. "Anyway, Black Heart said something before she left."

The party's attention was caught. IF, in particular, was very interested in this. "What'd she say?"

"She said I'll… pay for what I did to Neptune."

The party was silent, thinking about this new piece of information.

"What does that mean?" Compa asked.

"I have no idea." Jacob turned to IF. "In any event, I couldn't get to the materials. I don't suppose you four could get them in my place?"

"Sure." IF turned to the rest of the party. "We'll go right now. Is that okay with everyone?"

"H-Hold on!" Compa spoke up. "Jake's still in pain and needs someone to tend to him. I'll stay here and treat his injuries."

"What?" Neptune shouted. "Then I'm stayin', too!"

"Neptune," began Jacob, "there's no telling if Black Heart will find IF and Nisa, too. You're a CPU, so you can fight on equal footing with her. You need to go with them to make sure she can't stop them."

Neptune sighed. Clearly, she had not thought about that. "Okay, I'll go..."

"Well, fantastic." IF turned to Jacob. "See you later."

Jacob nodded. "Bye."

Jacob gave a small wave as Neptune, Nisa and IF went out the door. After they left, Chian came back into the room. "You done?" she asked.

"Yeah, we are," Compa responded. "Sorry about the secrecy but it had to be so."

"I understand that. I trust you all so don't worry; I won't pry. You've all helped me so much."

Jacob smiled with Compa. "It's just what we do."

"Anyway, Jacob, I've been meaning to ask…" As Chian left her sentence hanging in the air, she walked to Jacob's bed and picked up the gauntlets. "… can I please look at these?"

"… How come?"

Chian held one gauntlet in each hand. "I've never seen this kind of technology before and I'm curious. Plus, I need something to keep me busy while the girls are getting my materials and business slows to its usual crawl in maybe ten minutes."

Jacob thought this over. "Sure, go ahead. Just make sure they're still in one piece when I get them back. I need them to fight with, you know."

"I know that. Don't worry." Chian turned to the door, holding a gauntlet in each hand.

"Wait," said Jacob. Having Chian's attention, he reached inside his disc and took out the briefcase. "Ooh…" he exhaled after it was out of the disc. "I forgot how heavy this thing was…" He opened the briefcase and took out a small paper book. "Here," he said as he handed the thing to Chian. "I think it's the instruction manual. I never used it because using the gloves themselves is straightforward enough but I think you can use it."

"Ah." Chian took the instruction manual. "Thanks. Have a good rest." With that, she finally left the room.

Compa turned back to Jacob with a smile on her face. "Well, now that everyone's got their business taken care of, I can finally look at your injuries."

"Yay," said Jacob with as little enthusiasm that he didn't care to muster.

"Now, first of all, I need you to take off your shirt."

Jacob flinched. "… Really?"

Compa immediately understood. "J-Jake, don't worry! I'm… Well, I'm not a trained professional but I'm definitely capable. You can trust me!"

_Except for that one time with Neptune and the bandages_, Jacob thought but never said. Instead, he just sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I… I'll be okay."

* * *

><p>Much later, Neptune, Nisa and IF had arrived at the shop. It was not in the next town over as Chian had said the day before but, rather, it was at the end of a Cave #1 dungeon. Still, even though it was located at the end of a dungeon, it was rather odd. Behind the wooden counter were wooden cupboards below shelves that held labelled cloth bags and wooden boxes. To the right of all that was a dark room with glass windows high up and piles of unbound hay, separated from the main room by a green cage and a waist-high green rail. Strangely enough, there were no animals inside of it. Between the cell and the counter was a hallway leading to the back with one green steel door on the side leading elsewhere.<p>

"Once again, the heroine of justice and her party conquer the dungeon and annihilate the monsters, not leaving even a single cell behind!" Nisa loudly boasted as she opened the door as grandly as she could get away with.

"Glad to see you're at least remembering us," IF responded as they all entered.

"Hi-hi!" Neptune shouted. "We're here to get Chian's stuff! Is anyone here?"

Sure enough, someone was there. From the back passage came a rather obese silhouette that wore a cap and seemed to have a beard and a ponytail. He was most likely the Chevre that Chian mentioned. "Oh, really?" he replied. "I was told that a boy with a jetpack would be picking them up."

"There were complications," IF responded. "We're here in his place."

"I see." He chuckled a bit. "I'm not going to complain, since Nisa herself has decided to grace my store with her presence."

Nisa smiled wide and blushed.

Chevre continued. "Anyway, the bag's in the back. It's got a big label on it and it's fairly heavy."

"No sweat," IF answered. "I'm in command of these two girls with decent strength stats. They can carry anything."

"Great," said Chevre as Neptune and Nisa went into the back of the store. "Seems Chian found some lovely friends to help her out. She's been too high-strung ever since she took over after her father. I'm glad she's found people she can depend on."

Neptune and Nisa came out from the back passage with the bag. "Y'know…" started Neptune as she and Nisa put the bag down near the entrance, "… we haven't met her pop yet. Could he be… 1) Working on another planet. 2) A binge drinking gambling addict. 3) Impaled by a hedgehog. Answer away."

"Steady there, my sister," Nisa cut in. "What about 4?"

Neptune blinked. "What's 4?"

"You know, Chian's father is actually the cold-hearted villain who will identify himself as such during the fated climatic battle."

"Oh, right," Neptune answered. Then she slowly gasped, her eyes widening in realisation. "You don't think… that _Singe is her daddy?_"

Nisa quickly gasped, her eyes snapping open as wide as they could. "Oh no!"

Chevre laughed loudly. "That's an entertaining chat you've got going on there but…" Chevre's demeanour turned solemn. "Unfortunately, 3 is the closest. He was killed in a cliché tragic accident."

Nisa calmed down a bit as well. "Oh no, that is very tragic… If I may ask, how are you related to Ms Chian?"

"I've known her since she was born. I worked with her old man at the factory in Passe but, like the other factories, Avenir's claws dug deep and we had no choice but to abandon that place. Her mother asked me to come back after her father's death but I had committed to this shop by then."

"So that's how Chian because the president," IF concluded.

Nisa put her hand under her chin, framing her face with her thumb and index finger. "I must say, Chian's is a rather complex backstory, much deeper than my own. I don't suppose she will one day become a member of our party?"

"That would be awesome!" said Neptune. "She has a rocket launcher! 'BOOM' would go a rocket that she'd pull out of her pocket! She'd have an infinite stash and no armour would ever block it!"

Chevre possibly smiled. "She'd probably love that but that'd never happen, I don't think. Even if she wasn't only a silhouette, she still needs to manage her business, especially with Avenir around monopolising the industry."

"Then I guess we gotta right all their wrongdoings and take 'em down!" Neptune pumped her fists.

"That would be nice but I doubt you can," responded Chevre. "Avenir's under the direct protection of the Parliament."

This news surprised Neptune. "Whaaaat? The Parliament is part of the Basilicom, right? Why'd they wanna protect Avenir?"

Chevre sighed. "I guess you don't know. Avenir is still on the loose, even after putting so many people through misery…" Chevre paused, evidently trying to calm himself down, "… because our Parliament simply refuses to do anything to stop them. Parliament requires the votes of the people to execute an order. Avenir currently holds the biggest market on the landmass, meaning they stand for the majority of Lastation's residents."

"I see," IF answered. "With Avenir on their side, then practically have enough support to do anything they want, as well."

Chevre nodded. "It's a small price to pay for them to ignore what Avenir is really doing. Avenir will continue to grow and the Parliament will continue to collect favourable votes. It'll only get worse."

"I never knew this," said IF. "Sounds like we really should focus some effort on this Avenir business."

"Yea-heah!" Neptune cheered. "That's what I'm talkin' about! Now, we should probably get back." Neptune went over to the bag to pick it up.

"I couldn't agree more," responded Nisa as she supported with the other side.

IF went to the door. "Thanks for the materials and discussion…"

"It's Chevre." Chevre tipped his hat. "A pleasure to make your acquaintances."

"Right. Thank you, Chevre. You've been a big help." IF opened the door fully. "You go first, Neptune."

"Right!" Neptune and Nisa carried the bag out of the store. "Wowzers, this is heavy..." When Neptune and Nisa finally exited, IF followed and shut the door behind her.

Chevre picked up a newspaper and started reading it. "I wasn't aware that Nisa had a sister…"

* * *

><p><em>Much<em> later, Neptune, Nisa and IF had returned to Passe. Opening the door of the restaurant, IF quickly stepped in so that Nisa and Neptune could collapse to the floor with the bag pressing down on their backs. IF was kind enough to roll it off of them. Thankfully, the restaurant was unoccupied.

"Thanks… Iffy…" Neptune panted.

"My arms of justice… feel so numb…" breathed Nisa.

"Neptune, you could have transformed and used the extra strength to help with the bag," IF noted.

Neptune didn't answer right away.

"_Aww…_" she groaned. "Why didn't I think of that…?"

"And stop whining. You're not the one who had to fend off the monsters that tried to attack us on the way back." IF left them alone. "Chian, we're back with your materials!"

At that call, Chian entered the restaurant from the hallway. "Oh, hey-" Then, all of a sudden, she started giggling uncontrollably.

"… Chian, is something wrong?" IF asked as Neptune and Nisa managed to get themselves off the ground.

"N-No, it's just…" Chian held her face in her palm as she kept giggling. "S-Sorry! Jacob made me promise I wouldn't- wouldn't tell- hahaha!"

The three girls of the party exchanged puzzled looks. "… Where's Compa?" IF asked.

"Sh-She's still with J… J…"

"I'm here!" Compa called as she ran out from the hallway. Unlike Chian, Compa was not in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. She was, however, incredibly flustered; her face was all red and she was pulling on her collar.

IF eyed her suspiciously. "Compa, what happened while we were gone?"

"Nothing!" Compa responded very quickly. "I was just t-tending to… J… Jake's w-wounds… and then we went shopping for some new clothes for him…"

"Compa, I thought we agreed we couldn't waste the money!" IF shouted.

"I'm sorry but Jake needed the clothes!" Compa shouted back. "His old ones were wrecked from his… last outing… and the clothes Chian had were too big. He needed new travelling clothes!"

IF sighed as she facepalmed. "Fine then. Anyway, where's Jacob?"

"Right here," answered Jacob as he walked out from the hallway. Unlike Compa, he did not look flustered. He did, however, look incredibly agitated. "Did you get the stuff?"

"… Yes, we did," IF replied.

"Jacob!" Neptune looked indignant. "What have you been doing while we were away?"

"Well, Compa treated my injuries and got me new clothes." Jacob stretched out his arms and span around. "What do you think?"

True to his word, Jacob did get a new set of garments. He wore a shiny black coat line with white and a white zipper and an "LS" logo printed on the back in a thin, serif font. Underneath his coat was a black t-shirt with a white collar and sleeves and printed on the front was a white X inside a white square inside a white circle inside a white triangle. He had black long shorts, black ankle socks and black sneakers.

"… That's a lot of black," IF commented.

"That's all they had," Jacob responded.

"Speaking as a Lastation citizen, I can vouch for that," Nisa added.

"Okey-dokey. Now," Neptune put her hands on her hips and walked right up in front of Jacob, "why is Chian laughing so much and why is Compa super-embarrassed?"

"I'm not telling you." Jacob remained staunch.

"Fine." Neptune crossed her arms and walked up to Compa. "Compa, what's going on?"

"Compa, I swear to God, if you tell them, I will not let you get away with it easily," Jacob warned.

"D-Don't worry, Jake!" Compa saluted to him. "I will never tell them about your boobies!"

At once, the entire party was silenced.

Chian, who had taken a seat at a table, now had her head against it, laughing as loud as a human being could manage while banging her fist on the table.

Compa, realising what she had said, quickly move her hands over her mouth.

Jacob facepalmed.

"… What?" IF managed to say despite her bewilderment.

"Jacob has _boobies?_" Neptune parroted.

"Inconceivable!" Nisa exclaimed.

"Damn it, Compa…" Jacob moaned.

"I-I'm sorry!" Compa recoiled.

Jacob would have continued but, while he was too focused on Compa to prevent it from happening, Neptune rushed forward to place a hand to his chest.

She squeezed.

"They're there!" Neptune informed the others.

"Let go!" Jacob snapped as he swiped his arm at Neptune, who backed away quickly to avoid it.

Neptune looked at her groping hand. "Whoa, I think they're like yours, Iffy!"

"_What?_" IF ignored the nickname for now.

"Go on, feel!" Neptune urged.

"Don't touch me!" Jacob crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively.

"A boy…" Nisa muttered, despair evident in her expression and voice. "A boy has bigger breasts than me…"

"N-Nisa, are you okay?" Compa asked the heroine, concerned.

"What…? Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine… I'm absolutely okay…" Nisa took a seat at a table and sat down. "Even a boy has bigger breasts than me…"

"_For God's sake, leave me alone!_" Jacob roared, causing Neptune, Compa and IF to flinch.

"Whoa… Okay, then." Neptune paused for a moment. "… Jacob, why does a boy like you have boobs?"

Jacob snarled.

"Sorry! Curious!"

Jacob sighed. "Sorry, sorry… It's actually fat. It happens sometimes. Please leave me alone."

"Okay, okay." Neptune exhaled.

"Bigger breasts…" Nisa droned.

"Oh my…" Jacob massaged his forehead. "Chian, enjoy your materials. We'll be going now."

"Al… Alright then…" Chian snorted. "See you all later- _Wait!_"

"Huh?" Jacob and the rest of the party stopped at the door and turned back to Chian (except for Nisa).

"Sorry, I almost forgot!" Chian, having composed herself, got up from her chair and ran to the back of the store. The party remained where they were, confused, until Chian returned with three objects.

"Oh, my gauntlets. Thanks." Jacob happily took his weapons back and put them on. "Say... they look different. Did you modify them?"

Aside from the gauntlets changing from white to black, the only part of the gauntlets that changed were the forearms. The three black bar spines on each gauntlet had been removed in favour of a symbol of a hollow white diamond with a full white diamond inside it.

"Yeah." Chian might have smiled. "I added a new function into it. It's a shield that blocks enemy attacks. Go and try it out."

Jacob turned the back of his forearm outward. "A shield?"

Then, all of a sudden, the white diamond glowed and projected a small circle of translucent white energy maybe thirty centimetres in diameter, large enough to be a buckler. Jacob activated the other gauntlet and achieved the same result.

"Well, this will come in handy," Jacob commented as he deactivated the shields. "Hm..."

Jacob crossed his arms in front of him with the forearms facing outward. This time, he generated an even larger shield that was three metres wide, more than enough to protect him and whoever was standing next to him. When it came into contact with the floor and ceiling, it just stopped growing in that direction.

Chian was surprised. "I'm pretty sure I didn't make it so that it could do that."

"A natural function of the gauntlets, I think," Jacob explained as he deactivated the shield. "If I use both gauntlets to use a function, it's greatly amplified."

"Ah."

"Chian, how did you make the gauntlet do that?" IF inquired.

"Well," started Chian as she held up the instruction manual, "this little thing here explains how to modify the gauntlets to include new functions. It's tedious but handy, not to mention the possibility of making whatever weapon you wanted and actually keeping it is much better than going through vendor trash for twenty hours."

"... Okay," Jacob said simply.

"Anyway, I also increased the strength output so whatever it did before should be greatly amplified. Its stats were pretty low before so I thought I'd give it a buff."

"Aw, thanks." Jacob took the manual back. "Well, we'll be going now. Maybe we'll see you later."

"Bye, Chian," said IF as the party headed out the door.

"See you later," returned Chian before the door closed.

* * *

><p>"Ah, it's good to be back…" Jacob sighed pleasantly as the party arrived back at the motel. At once, the dogs barked happily and swarmed to the party. Jacob crouched down to pat one of them. "Hey boys, how are you all?"<p>

"Bigger…" Nisa ignored the dogs entirely, much to their confusion.

"Nisa, please cut that out," IF requested before going inside the motel.

Neptune's first instinct upon entering the room was to run towards her bed at full speed before jumping on it. "Oh yeaaaah… My arms need this rest badly…" Then she sat up. "Hey, Jacob, can I feel-"

"_NO!_" Jacob roared. "And stop asking! For God's sake..." He then breathed in and breathed out to calm himself down. "Anyway, IF," Jacob started as he sat down on his bed, "did you learn anything that could advance the plot on your little trip?"

IF shook her head, also sitting on her bed. "Nothing, really. We did learn about Chian's history, though."

"Ooh, what was it like?" Compa asked, intrigued.

"Incredibly deep, all things considered," IF answered. "Turns out the shopkeeper actually used to work with Chian's dad at the old factory but he left when Avenir made things too troublesome. Also, Chian's dad is dead."

"Shocker," said Jacob in a way that indicated he was anything but shocked.

"So Avenir was around even then…" said Compa.

"Yeah," IF confirmed. "Anyway, we may need to focus on Avenir more now."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "How come?"

"As it turns out, Avenir's protected by the Parliament. The Parliament needs votes to do whatever the public wants it to do but Avenir, representing most of Lastation right now, overwhelms any opposition it has. As Avenir basically controls the votes, the Parliament just doesn't take action against them. Avenir keeps getting bigger, the Parliament stays in power… It goes on forever."

"Hm… So Avenir's protected by the Parliament…" Jacob reiterated as he lied down.

"Yeah, that's right. Sorry that we don't have anything to go on about the Key Fragment or a Guard Vermin but-"

"Hold the phone!" Jacob sat up suddenly as if he just had an epiphany.

Even Nisa seemed to have snapped out of it in the face of this odd action. "Uh, Jacob, is something wrong?"

Jacob didn't react. "The Parliament pressured the Sanctuary into shutting down the Tech Expo," he said to himself. "The heretic said that the parliament only listens to the sound of coin. Now it turns out that Avenir's got protection from the government… Avenir's monopolising the engineering industry of Lastation…" He faced IF. "IF, do you know what this means?"

Even though she was caught off-guard by his eccentric behaviour, IF still put thought into Jacob's words. "… I don't really get it. What do you know?"

"IF." Jacob stood up and walked over to IF. "Listen to me, and listen well…" Jacob bent down.

"Avenir is bribing the Parliament."

And just like that, everything fell into place in the minds of the party.

"Wait, that means the Parliament is corrupt!" IF exclaimed.

"Wow…" Compa didn't see that coming.

"Those _dogs!_" Nisa's enraged fist slammed into the wall. "How dare they twist justice to their own ends!"

Neptune, however, didn't seem excited. "Well, that's all handy-dandy and all but how does that help us?"

Jacob turned to the amnesiac. "Don't you see, Neptune?" He was getting excited now. "Avenir is sending money to the Parliament. That's why they won't do a thing to stop Lastation's inevitable downfall. I don't know a lot about politics but I imagine they're sending a hefty sum. That's not the kind of thing you can just drop off at someone's door in an envelope. They're sending the money electronically. That means there's going to be electronic records, statements or something saying that a transaction has taken place between the Avenir and the Parliament. If we can find proof of this corruption, then…"

"Then we can use it to expose Avenir and shut them down," IF finished with a smile.

"Exactly!" Jacob raised his arms in the air in a triumphant motion. "If we can just find proof of this, we'll wrap up this subplot here and now!"

"Um, Jake... how are we going to get the proof?" Compa inquired.

Jacob exhaled. "I know. That's going to be the tricky part. The records are going to be either in the Basilicom where the Parliament is, in Avenir's HQ or stored on the electronic banking website they're potentially using for these transactions. The first two options require breaking into an incredibly important building that's most likely very well guarded and the last option requires hacking experience. I doubt any of us are skilled at infiltration or hacking." Jacob turned his gaze to IF. "Unless-"

"Sorry, no," IF cut in. "I may look the part but tactical espionage action isn't one of my class abilities."

"Lame," Jacob droned.

"Shut up," responded IF.

"Anyway, that means we really don't have any way of getting the proof… unless we ask Black Heart about it. Even though she's tried to kill us, do you think she's willing to talk this through?"

"Not a chance," IF shut him down. "I know she seems diplomatic but I don't think she'd take our word over the Parliament's. You know, since we're not exactly friends. Also, there's that whole thing about how she'll make you pay for what you did to Neptune... I still don't know what that means."

"Neither do I." Jacob fell back onto his bed. "Well, I guess we can't really do anything at this point."

IF smiled. "Still, we now know what we have to do. I have to say, this is a pretty good morning for us." IF pulled out her pink flip-top cell phone and opened it. "I'm going to look for quests. We'll just keep doing those until we think of or find a way."

"In the meantime," started Nisa as she stood up and walked to the door, "I will take my pupil…" She grabbed Jacob's coat sleeve and pulled him with her, "… for some training."

"Uh, Sensei, I just got curbstopped only a few hours ago and I think parts of my body are still recovering. I don't suppose we could-"

Before Jacob could finish, Nisa turned around, grabbed his collar and pulled his face down to hers and pressed against it. "**No**."

"… Okay." Jacob didn't complain as Nisa took him outside with her.

"Aw, pooey," Neptune complained. "I wanted to measure him."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, Jacob's mostly guessing about Avenir bribing the Parliament. However, given the clues that have appeared up to that point combined with how unsubtle the story's been, it's a fair guess in his eyes. Anyway, now they have a clue to go on. All they need now is an opportunity to use it.<strong>

**And, again, I forgot about the dogs. Thank God I picked up on it in time.**

**See you all next time in Chapter 15: Another Altercation.**


	15. Another Altercation

**This, ladies and gentlemen, is another chapter of my fanfic "Hyperdimension Neptunia is Real!". In it... well, you'll find out. As always, I will respond to my reviews:**

**Ikari Zero: Well, I have to provide something. Thanks for finding it entertaining; that's what I'm going for. As for the Black Heart thing, you will find out in due time. It wouldn't be fun at all to have the story spoiled, would it?**

**Eyeshield: Your chapters are typically in excess of 10,000 words in length. In addition, you write your characters with great amounts of detail and they come across as three-dimensional. Take all the time you need. Too many people, myself included, rush too mush and the product suffers as a result. Anyway, you are to laugh because that was meant to be funny.**

**CrimsonHeresy: I'm planning on doing Lowee next. As for why, well, I'm writing this and you're not so there's not much reason for me to tell you. Anyway, I have plenty of advice. In fact, I went through all the trouble to dig through the reviews to find the one you wrote with your account so I could access it and PM you. I have to say, it was a bit of a tiresome endeavour. Oh, if only the Reply to Review function worked with anonymous accounts. :(**

**Eisenfaust: And I'm going to keep writing. Stay tuned, my friend! And no, he doesn't look like Kurosaki Ichigo. Ichigo wears feudal Japanese clothing. Jacob wears modern clothing. Also, it might, he might and he might.**

**one who walks the path of fire: Correction: _Jacob_ is going to get his ass kicked. I know, we all make that mistake from time to time but it's important to remember that this Jacob is different from me. We best be careful, lest I begin to go insane. That is, if I haven't already. :D**

**Saturn56: Oh ho ho! Well, I'm curious to see what your hypothesis is!**

**godofmadness43: Those are the Hyperdimension Neptunia girls for ya. -_- **

**Unknown: ... Maybe? :)**

**The Puppy Schwag: Glad you found that funny. Hopefully, you didn't die because I'm pretty sure the reception in Heaven is awful and I still want your reviews. :3**

**liexi: How about we flip a coin? Depending on the result, nothing will change because the ramifications will be explored in this chapter. The only reason you would flip the coin would be for me to steal it while it's in the air and I can use it to buy some lollies. :D**

**Zaralann: Thanks.**

**Red-Drive: Woohoo! I'm getting better! Let's see how I do this time.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15: Another Altercation<strong>

An hour had passed since Nisa dragged Jacob off for what she called "training" although none of the other girls really bought it… Well, Compa and Neptune bought it, considering they're Compa and Neptune, but IF could tell that Jacob's "training" would not be of the usual variety. Not that she actually knew what Nisa would put him through but she knew this would not be a pleasant session. It wasn't important to her, though; she was too busy looking on her phone, trying to find a new quest.

"Did you find any quests yet?" Compa asked from in front of the TV.

The key word being "trying".

IF sighed. "No I have not."

"Aw," Compa whined. "You'd think that there'd be a new one by now."

"Same here. Then again, it's nice to know that a landmass can go for at least an hour without some random civilian asking for a monster to be killed for no reason other than to avenge someone or some random civilian asking for twenty bear asses for a rug or something."

IF and Compa were silent for a moment.

"… Actually, that's still pretty sad. Are we the only adventurers in the entire world?" IF never took her eyes off her phone.

"I don't think so," Compa answered. "Still, you'd think that they'd be even less frequent than this."

"I know. Say, Neptune's been pretty quiet. How's the game?"

"… Nep-Nep's not here."

Presumably, IF was not expecting this. For once in the entire conversation, IF turned away from her phone to look around the room. Surely enough, Neptune was nowhere to be seen and it was only Compa who was playing GiantSMALLWorld on the TV.

"… Where'd she go?" IF asked, bewildered.

"She said she was going to take ArfArf and find Jake and Nisa. She told you that and you just went…" Compa paused the game. She then stood up and cleared her throat before crossing her arms and putting on an expression that was more something that IF would have rather than Compa. "'Sure, whatever'," Compa said, imitating IF's voice.

"I do not sound like that," IF retorted, putting on a more genuine version of Compa's face.

Compa just smiled as she stopped her imitation.

"… Crap."

The two of them were silent for a moment.

"… Want me to play with you on that?"

"Sure."

* * *

><p>Nisa once saved a little girl's life by pushing a falling boulder away with the power of her Justice Kick. That little girl's frightened face vanished almost immediately and she hugged Nisa with all her might, all the while telling her how thankful she was and how cool Nisa was. A few days after, it turned out that the little girl was the daughter of an action figure maker and, after a few visits and negotiations, Nisa toys were soon on the market. This made Nisa's popularity skyrocket and she was a Lastation-wide celebrity soon after.<p>

"Why…? I just got these clothes, damn it…"

Jacob's groans now exceeded that event on Things That Make Nisa Happy.

"My student," Nisa began, spinning around on her heel with a massive smile and a finger in the air, "it was only yesterday that Compa was discussing your…" Nisa's smiled began to falter, "… bosom. Shortly after, Lady Neptune herself praised it."

Jacob groaned even louder. "Can we _please_ stop talking about that…? Besides, how does that make me deserve being seven feet underground…?"

Nisa's smiled regained its strength when he brought up her handiwork. In the middle of the junkyard was a deep hole. It was only a meter across but that was more than enough to allow a person- like, for example, Jacob- into its seven-foot depths. One curious little boy came across earlier and asked how that happened but Nisa told him it was a secret technique, which was apparently satisfying enough to make the boy go away.

Nisa cleared her throat. "Jacob, it is impolite to boast about your breast size around women."

"I didn't even do that!" Jacob didn't groan that time. "That was all Neptune and Compa's fault… Why don't you beat them up…?"

"Because they are girls, my student. Also, you're the one with the boobs."

Thankfully, Jacob was too far down for Nisa to hear him mutter "Bloody gender inequality…"

"Anyway, that does it for training today. Can you get out of there?"

"Yeah, just gimme a sec…" Seconds later, Jacob rose out of the hole with the jetpack on his back. The clothes he just bought were… quite dirty.

Nisa had an issue with this. "Hey! You were supposed to climb out!"

"Yeah, I think my bones have been ground into a fine snort-able powder so forgive me if I barely even have the energy to wave at someone…" Jacob replied with his limbs dangling below him.

Nisa still frowned, however. "Fine. This is just an early stage of your training, after all. Now, let us return to the motel room. IF and Compa must have a new quest by now."

"Jeez, this place gets a lot of quests…" Jacob stated as he floated behind Nisa as they left the junkyard. "People post hunting or scavenging requests at least once an hour here…"

"Do not fret, my student, for this is a rather slow landmass when it comes to quests. If we were on Leanbox or Lowee, we would get many more quests."

"That's even worse… Does anyone do anything themselves? Do we have any sort of military or even law enforcement to drive the monsters back? Why is everyone content with putting up requests and crossing their fingers?"

"Jacob, less whining, more floating," Nisa commanded. "The crux of the matter is that we must get a quest. This story is not going to push itself!"

"Really? It feels like we're just filling in time before something happens."

"Excuse me?"

Nisa and Jacob looked to their right where the voice came from. It was a silhouette of perhaps a middle-aged man. He seemed to have a goatee and short, spiky hair. "Are you the heroine everyone's been talking about?" he asked with hesitation.

_Right on schedule_, Jacob thought.

"If you mean the heroine of evil's bane, then most certainly! I, Nisa, uphold justice in all of Gamindustri!" Nisa boasted.

"That's good. That's very good," the man responded.

Jacob could tell the man was nervous. "Is something the matter?"

"Well… yes. You see, one of my co-workers was on a train that got attacked by monsters a little more than an hour ago. I only just got a text message from him, saying that he was still alive but he needed rescuing. He's in a monster-infested dungeon-"

_As they always are,_ thought Jacob.

"- so I was going to send an official quest to the Basilicom but… Well, I saw you and I need to ask, will you please rescue him?"

"Absolutely!" Nisa answered. "It is the job of the heroine of justice to save those in need!"

The man relaxed. "You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that. Thank you."

Jacob, however, was wary. "If I may ask, who do you work for?"

The man's hesitant and nervous demeanour returned full force. "… My co-worker and I work for Avenir."

While Jacob didn't look the slightest bit surprised, Nisa's enthusiasm quickly vanished.

The man noticed this and reacted quickly. "I know Avenir has a bad reputation but Ganache is a good man. He can't be left to die in there. Please help him; he doesn't deserve that fate."

"Hey, don't worry," Nisa urged, even though she wasn't as excited as before. "Even if he does work for Avenir, that does not warrant his death. We will rescue him pronto."

"Thank you so much…" The man sighed again. "Do either of you have a phone?"

"Sorry, no," Jacob responded. "However, we do have a friend by the name of IF who's currently looking for quests. You can post a request on the Basilicom and she'll probably pick it up."

"I'm a bit worried that someone else will get it, but okay. Thank you for offering your assistance."

"No problem. Hopefully, we'll see you later."

"The feeling is mutual. Farewell." With that, the man turned and left.

Jacob looked at Nisa. "He seemed nice."

"Especially for an Avenir employee," Nisa added.

"Hey, I'm gonna get on the ground now. Can you help keep me steady if my legs can't support me?" Without waiting for an answer, Jacob floated down onto the ground. Upon deactivating his jetpack, he wobbled for a bit before balancing himself.

"Are you okay?" Nisa asked.

"Yeah, I guess I'm fine. Gonna have to go slow, though. Anyway, back to the motel for us."

* * *

><p>IF rubbed her forehead.<p>

"I'm sorry…" Compa apologised quietly.

"No, it's alright. Let's just try that again, and don't jump off that switch too early this time."

"Okay…"

Just as IF picked up her controller, the door slammed open, causing her to drop it again.

"Hello, my friends!" Nisa boisterously called as she proudly strode into the main room while Jacob slowly walked to his bed before collapsing on it.

"Hi Nisa." IF didn't bother to look back at the heroine.

Compa, however, did and she also saw Jacob. "Hi Jake. How was training?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Even though Jacob's voice was muffled by the pillow, Compa still got the meaning.

"… Okay then."

"Anyway, did you find any new quests?" Nisa asked.

"No. Let me check again." IF opened her phone and pressed a few buttons and found herself pleasantly surprised. "I'll be damned. There's a quest."

"What? Let me see!" Compa looked over IF's shoulder to look at her phone. As IF had said, there was a new quest. "Oh, what's it about?"

"Please back away."

"Oh, sorry." Compa quickly removed herself from IF's back.

"Thank you. Now…"

"On our way back from training, we came across a man who claimed that a train was attacked by monsters. One of his co-workers survived the attack but is trapped in a dungeon. We were asked to rescue him," Nisa announced. "Does the quest say that?"

"…" IF looked up at Nisa. Her eyes indicated she struggled to believe her. "That's pretty much it."

From outside, the party could hear some barking.

Jacob turned his head towards the wall. "Is that…?"

The door banged open again. "The scent has been traced. After ten long, painful minutes of searching, we have finally cornered our target…" Like a ninja wannabe, Neptune spun around to enter the room. Unfortunately, she tripped on maybe the floor and accidentally dropped ArfArf during her descent. Fortunately, ArfArf wasn't damaged. "Ow! Aw, I was supposed to look super cool just now!"

"Fret not, my sister." Nisa approached Neptune and helped her up. "When I was practising my flashy entrance, I too tripped many times. Do not worry, for you will get better at it."

"Aw, thanks Nisa!" Neptune gave the heroine a hug.

"Nep-Nep! You picked a good time to get back. We found a quest!" Compa lowered a hand to IF, who placed her phone in it. "Today's job is to rescue an Avenir employee!" She cleared her throat as she brought the phone to her eyes. "'The train was attacked by monsters. Please save the survivor!'"

"Whatwhatwhat?" Neptune did not like the sound of that. "Helping Avenir again? I dunno about helping out our sworn nemesis! Besides, don't their employees carry giant boomsticks they make at their factories?"

"Chian said Avenir doesn't make weaponry for human use, due to their president's motto," IF replied.

"… When'd she say that?" Jacob asked.

"When you weren't around," IF answered quickly.

Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Plus, the employees themselves aren't bad people. You shouldn't be picky about which lives need saving, Nep-Nep! There is no line to draw when saving lives. Now, let's hurry over to the site where the train was attacked," said Compa.

Jacob groaned as he forced himself up from his bed.

Compa seemed very confused. "Jake, what happened to your clothes? And your hair? And your face?"

"Rigorous training exercise," was the excuse Jacob offered for his very dirty clothes, hair and face. "Now, are we going to go?"

"Well, we can always wait a minute or two if you want to have a shower," Compa offered.

"No, I'm fine." Jacob did a few stetches. "Let's get this over with."

"You sure?" Neptune asked. "You can if you want. I promise not to peek on you to see how big your boo-"

"_We are leaving now__._"

* * *

><p>"Hey-"<p>

IF's patience snapped. "Yes Jacob, I know this is the same cave we've travelled in the last dozen times. Yes Jacob, I know there were no train tracks to be found outside let alone any trains. Yes Jacob, I know we're on a floating island. Is that all you were going to say?"

"… Yes."

"Good. Now, seeing as you have absolutely no more inconsistencies to point out that we don't know about, let's move," said IF as the party walked through the dungeon.

"Pretty narrow dungeon, wouldn't you say?" Jacob asked as he looked left and right. Their current path stretched rather far for their standards and there were no turns to be seen anywhere. Right in front of the party was a passageway going left and, further up, they could see a passageway going right. According to the map in IF's phone, they were both dead ends.

"That's right," Compa agreed. "This is, however, a smaller dungeon than normal."

"Good, then we can finish this more quickly!" Neptune remarked.

Suddenly, a random encounter occurred. In front of the party appeared three monsters about as tall as they were. Each of them had short, maroon, muscular humanoid bodies but had pterodactyl skulls for heads with long ram horns that held back their large shrub-like teal manes. Their arms were only bones, their hands, covered by thick leather gloves, had two fingers and a thumb and their feet were actually teal talons. They also wore red studded belts around their waists. However, their most notable features were their weapons; each of the monsters had in their left hands a large weapon about as large as their bodies. They had teal-wrapped katana handles but their blades, which made up most of the weapons' sizes, were definitely not katana blades. They were flat, wide and in the shape of a crude hook.

Jacob got into a fighting stance. "Alright, let's see how my shield-"

Neptune cut him off by transforming into Purple Heart and rushing forward to kill all three of the monsters in no time at all.

"… She handled those Orthruses effectively," Compa remarked, being amazed, scared and surprised all at the same time.

"Let's go," ordered Purple Heart. "The sooner we finish the dungeon, we sooner we get back."

"Right on," Jacob voiced his agreement.

Hearing his voice, Purple Heart stopped where she was. "Actually…" She turned around. "Jacob, may I have a word with you?"

Jacob was confused, just like the rest of his party. "Uh… What about?"

"Nothing, really. I'd just like you to come over here."

"… Sure, why not?" Despite the situation being definitely odd, Jacob approached Purple Heart nonetheless. "What's up?"

Purple Heart placed her hand on Jacob's chest and squeezed it lightly.

* * *

><p>Not long after that event, the party ran into another silhouette.<p>

"Good, you're safe," Purple Heart said to start the conversation. "You're the Avenir employee, I presume?"

The Avenir employee seemed to have very short hair and he seemed to wear a suit. He didn't look the slightest bit worried or disturbed or thankful for the arrival of the party. In fact, he looked like he was expecting them. "I'm honoured to be rescued by such a beautiful lady but… Who are you? And what happened to your face?" He didn't seem to be expecting Purple Heart, though. Nor did he seem to be expecting her swollen, red cheek.

"Ah, yes. You see, one of my party members doesn't take kindly to being touched and he objected very physically when I did so."

"I'm sorry!" apologised Jacob. "I mean it! I didn't mean to slap you! It was reflexive! Sorry!"

This would be the part where the employee raised an eyebrow. "Jacob, you slap women?"

"Look, it was acciden… tal…" Jacob's hysteria was eliminated only to be replaced by curiosity. "How did you know my name?"

"It's a secret but, for the sake of being fair, let me introduce myself. I am Ganache." Ganache glanced around the cave, looking as lax as ever. "I am also kind of surprised that Neptune isn't the one running ahead and slapping women. Where is she, anyway?"

Purple Heart looked at Ganache with confusion. "… Have we met before? I apologise but I don't recall your face. How… could I forget someone I've met?"

"Oh," went Ganache, his question answered.

Jacob and IF glanced at each other.

"… _Oh?_" loudly went Ganache as the realisation hit him harder than ten Justice Kicks delivered at the same time, although he only recoiled slightly rather than get physically hit with enough force to send him through nineteen landmasses. "A-Are you Ms Neptune? My, my. You've gone through… quite the transformation. You were a spunky little girl when I saw you at the… Well, never mind. Please ignore my ramblings." Ganache rubbed the back of his head, no longer flustered. "Sorry for all the trouble. I was running around, prepping for the Tech Expo, but I was attacked by monsters along the way."

Normally, Jacob would have taken that moment to confront the very suspicious individual about his very suspicious dialogue. However, something else took precedence at that moment.

"Wait, what? The Tech Expo's cancelled," Jacob responded.

"Well, no, it isn't," Ganache replied nonchalantly. "It'll go on as it usually does. Perhaps the news hasn't made it to the public yet. Please, forget what I said."

"But the Tech Expo is back on!" Nisa shouted. "That means there is hope for Chian and many others who are struggling under Avenir!"

"Ganache, what does Avenir plan on showcasing at the Expo?" Purple Heart asked.

Ganache let out a sigh of exasperation. "Oh, come now. Do I look like I've got loose lips? A big mouth? Do I look like a stool pigeon?"

"How many of those do you have?" Jacob questioned, unamused.

"A lot but let's not get into that." Ganache then glanced around as if he was making sure no one was eavesdropping. "… But between you and me, we've been preparing for this Expo since the company started." Ganache rubbed his hands together in a show of excitement. "Which means this is something that's been in the preparation stages for three years!"

IF raised an eyebrow. "That's a lot of preparing."

"Well, the manufacturing in Avenir is done entirely by machines. They can build quickly but they need very precise information, so we humans pretty much do the error checking. Anyway, I'm sure you'll eventually learn more about the Expo if you tune into the radio."

Purple Heart eyed the man with caution.

"So do you want us to escort you out of the dungeon or will you be okay?" Compa offered.

"Thank you for the offer but I will be fine. After all, you cleared out the monsters on the way here, right?"

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, that's true."

"Then I'll take my leave. I hope we meet again soon," Ganache said as he walked past the party to leave.

Once he was out of hearing range, Purple Heart turned to the party. "He seems rather confident for an unarmed NPC in a dungeon full of monsters."

"_Respawning_ monsters," IF added. "Then again, this is a cutscene. I think."

"Well, that makes him a bit genre savvy for a mere silhouette, doesn't it?" Jacob asked.

"That doesn't matter!" Nisa shouted. "We must return to give Chian the good news!"

"That's if he turns out to be truthful, mind you," Jacob warned. "I am very sure that guy is evil."

"I got vibes like that, too," Compa mentioned. "Still, we should tell Chian that it could be coming back on, just in case."

"She can find out for herself on the radio. Anyway, let's get back," said Jacob as he took a step towards the exit.

That was the only step he took.

"You know, you really stand out when you're in that form," Black Heart said to Purple Heart from the room entrance. "You ought to stay like that all the time."

"Whoa, you again?" Compa seemed surpised. "You're persistent. Nep-Nep, you should hurry and… Oh, you're already transformed."

"It'd also be convenient if your face stayed that way, too. What happened to it?"

Purple Heart stepped forward and drew her sword. "Just a flesh wound. It's really nothing major…" Purple Heart grit her teeth, "… compared to what you put Jacob through."

Whatever casual aura Black Heart had before was now completely extinguished. With narrowed eyes, she drew her own sword. "You still follow him."

"Of course I do. He is my friend, which isn't something I can say for you. That's rather unlucky for you, as I do not take kindly to those who attack my friends."

"Neptune, hold on." Jacob stretched his arm out in front of Purple Heart to stop her from advancing before looking at Black Heart. "Black Heart, you told me during our last encounter that I'd pay for what I did to Neptune. What did you mean by that?"

Black Heart dropped her sword from sheer shock.

"… Lady Black Heart, are you okay?" Compa asked, confused as everyone else.

"D-D-D-D-D-Don't say that in front of her!" Black Heart shouted in embarrassment.

Jacob blinked. "What, that you said that I'd pay for what I did to her?"

"_Yes!_ She's not meant to know about that! It's supposed to be between you and me!"

"But it involves her," Jacob argued. "I think this is kind of important for her to hear."

"Hold on for a sec," IF interrupted. "Why does it matter if Jacob hurt Neptune in some way? Why do you care? Aren't you enemies?"

"Y-Yes!" stammered Black Heart. "We are! We are destined rivals!"

"But you just said you'd make Jacob pay for what he did to Nep-Nep," Compa countered. "Are you friends with Nep-Nep?"

IF's eyes widened in realisation. "Oh…" She then began to smile. "_Oh…_"

Black Heart noticed. "Wh-What are you thinking?"

"You're 'destined rivals', yet you're quick to come to her rescue when she's threatened…" IF smirked. "Could Lastation's proud CPU have a crush on our little Neptune?"

Jacob smiled. "Oh ho! Neptune and Black Heart, sittin' in a tree-"

"Shut up shut up _shut up!_" shouted Black Heart, her face red as a tomato.

"What is the matter, my lady?" Nisa inquired. "Love is a wonderful thing!"

"That's not…!" began Black Heart before shaking her head vigorously. "Argh, we're getting off-topic!" She picked up her sword. "Well, seeing as she knows now, there's no point in hiding it." Black Heart then threateningly pointed it at Jacob. "Jacob! For what you did to Neptune, I will strike you down here and now!"

"Weak words coming from you," Jacob retorted as he put up his gauntlet-clad fists. "Aren't you the one who pushed her off Celestia in the first place?"

"_Stop lying!_" Black Heart had had enough. "I never pushed her off Celestia! Who are you? Why do you fill her head with those lies?"

The entire party froze. Black Heart's words impacted them even more greatly than the Tech Expo cancellation news.

"… What…?" Nisa said, shocked.

"Wh-What are you talking about?" IF was very confused.

"I don't know what Jacob told you but I didn't push Neptune off Celestia. I don't even know how he came to that conclusion to begin with."

"…" IF turned to Jacob. "Is that true?"

Jacob didn't answer IF. He was too confused. "Then… who did? What happened in Celestia? Why did Neptune fall?"

Black Heart sneered. "I've no reason to tell you. Prepare yourself!"

She gave him no time to do so. Immediately after she finished speaking, Black Heart zoomed towards Jacob with her sword raised, intending to strike Jacob with it as if it was a hammer.

Jacob didn't raise his arms to block.

Thankfully, Purple Heart had the reflexes and speed to intercept the strike. Even though Black Heart's larger blade pressed down on Purple Heart's, Purple Heart still stood strong with a defiant look in her eyes. This made Black Heart snarl. With a loud cry, she forced Purple Heart away from her.

"Hyah!" Nisa took advantage of the opening that Black Heart made on her left and snap-kicked her side, which knocked Black Heart back a bit. Nisa followed through with a punch to Black Heart's face but Black Heart raised her hand to catch Nisa's fist. However, the heroine saw this coming and backstepped, drawing her prinny gun in the process and extending the laser blade. Black Heart then performed a heavy horizontal swipe by bringing her blade around with, as usual, one hand. Nisa used her prinny gun's blade to help guide the massive sword over her head as she ducked. Black Heart swiped low but Nisa jumped over it and delivered a kick during the jump but Black Heart blocked it with her left arm. Upon landing, Nisa lunged forward with her blade only for Black Heart to dodge by deftly moving to the side before countering with a downwards strike that Nisa managed to parry to the side.

As the two Lastation defenders fought on, the rest of the party just stood to the side.

IF looked like she could hardly believe what she was seeing. "If anyone told me before that a regular civilian could go at it with a CPU on equal ground, I would probably have ignored them."

"Shouldn't we help them?" Compa asked, despite looking like she would prefer to be anything but involved in the furious duel between Nisa and Black Heart.

"I don't believe so," said Purple Heart with a smile. "Nisa is definitely holding her own quite well. I don't see why she would need us to intervene."

Jacob, however looked concerned. "I do. Nisa's losing."

"Huh?"

Whether or not Jacob was correct or just paranoid was irrelevant. The fact was that, as the duel raged on, Nisa's grunts were getting louder and a bit more tired. Even though they seemed to be equal, Black Heart was still a CPU, meaning she had greater reserves of power than Nisa did, meaning she was not getting tired from constantly parrying a sword longer than she was tall being swung by a very physically strong opponent.

Nisa then made the mistake of directly guarding against Black Heart's downward swing. Her strength couldn't hold against the oversized weapon and she collapsed on the ground. While she was down, a mighty kick from Black Heart sent Nisa into the cave wall. Black Heart then turned to face the rest of the party and found herself treated to Jacob's Wide Roar. Even as the attack did minimal damage, she still guarded herself with her sword.

While Jacob's massive laser was engulfing Black Heart, Compa took the opportunity to rush over to Nisa and help her up. "Nisa! Are you okay?" she asked with concern.

Nisa coughed. "Yeah… I can still fight…"

"Don't push yourself!" Compa warned as Nisa struggled to stand up. "You're heavily injured. Please let me treat you while Jake, Nep-Nep and IF fight."

When Jacob ended his attack, Purple Heart flew forward to assault Black Heart before the latter could recover and retaliate. Black Heart managed to block Purple Heart's horizontal slash to her left side. However, she couldn't stop IF who, at the same time, used a strong reverse roundhouse kick to hit her right shoulder blade, causing her to buckle. Purple Heart floated away and IF jumped back from Black Heart to give her some space. "You've already lost once before, sneak attack or no," Purple Heart stated as she raised her sword. "Trust me when I say you will not win this fight."

"Don't underestimate me," Black Heart responded as she stood back up and floated into the air. "You of all people should know how strong I really am."

Black Heart then sped across the battlefield. Purple Heart readied her blade to counter but was then surprised when Black Heart bypassed her entirely. Looking back, Purple Heart was shocked when she saw where Black Heart was headed.

Black Heart was speeding for Jacob with her left arm and hand in a position ready to grab Jacob. Even though he was also surprised, Jacob was still able to respond. With a smirk, he crossed his arms and activated his shield. Fortunately, the shield held and Black Heart's attempted grab failed. Instead, Black Heart's fingers impacted against the solid surface at high speed.

"Ugh!" Recoiling, Black Heart dropped her sword so she could hold her left hand that now had fingers going through the excruciating amounts of pain that one would feel if they poked a brick wall extremely fast. She didn't notice IF running towards her to jump kick the back of her head. After IF's attacked connected, Jacob rose into the air, leaving IF to be Black Heart's primary opponent. Black Heart came to her senses just in time to dodge another kick from IF, letting her return with a right hook that IF dodged to the right of and countered with a katara stab to Black Heart's right arm. Black Heart grimaced but she mostly disregarded the cut on her upper arm. She tried whatever attacks she could perform unarmed but IF was an agile opponent that manoeuvred around every punch and kick that the CPU could throw.

Black Heart tried to sweep kick out IF's feet from under her but IF used a butterfly kick to evade and flip over to Black Heart's exposed side. Before Black Heart could react, IF quickly pointed her kataras at Black Heart's torso and shot two earth bullets.

"_Argh!_" Black Heart's left hand moved over her right side to cover her new wounds. Again, her respite was interrupted almost immediately by Purple Heart tackling her away from IF. When Black Heart stopped skidding across the ground, she saw Purple Heart and IF standing a ways away from her with Jacob floating in the air next to them. "You are really getting on my nerves…" she growled.

"Black Heart, stop." Jacob landed on the ground. "Please tell me what happened in Celestia. How did Neptune fall?"

"Why don't you know?" she screamed as she forced herself up. "Neptune fell from Celestia! She was awake when it happened! Why hasn't she told you?"

Purple Heart didn't say anything. Not for lack of trying, mind you; she couldn't find the words to say.

"Um, Lady Black Heart?" Compa called from the other side of the battlefield. "Nep-Nep has amnesia. She doesn't remember a thing. She didn't even know she was a CPU until Jake told her."

Black Heart looked in Compa's direction with a face that indicated her struggle to believe her. "… What? Amnesia?" Black Heart's eyes widened as she looked back at Purple Heart. "No, no, that can't be right! You can't have forgotten me! The things we did! The time we spent together! You remember me, right?"

"I-I…" For the first time of everyone present, Purple Heart looked confused and a little bit frightened.

"You didn't forget me! You remember my name, right? What is it?" Although she asked a question, Black Heart was in fact pleading. She had a hand over her heart as she looked at Purple Heart with the most desperate eyes everyone present had ever seen.

"I… I don't…" Purple Heart had her hands over her chest, seemingly in physical pain.

"That's enough!" Jacob called as he stood in front of Purple Heart. "I'm sorry but she doesn't remember anything!"

As Black Heart looked at Jacob, her desperation was replaced with anger. "You bastard…" Quickly, she drew her handgun and aimed it right at Jacob's head. "Alright then, answer me this. What made you tell her we pushed her off Celestia? Actually, I have a better question. How did you know Neptune was a CPU? How did you know I was Black Heart?"

Jacob gritted his teeth. "It's complicated-"

"_No_. It is _not_ complicated. You tell me everything I want to know _right now __**before I shoot your head off right here!**_"

"Now wait just a moment!" IF caught Black Heart's attention with her shout. "What does it matter to you? Whatever Jacob's said doesn't mean anything. You and Neptune were enemies anyway!"

"You stay out of this!" snapped Black Heart. "You're only human! You're not supposed to be in this conflict to begin with!"

"What conflict? What is going on? Fill us in, damn it!"

"I've had enough of you!" Empowered by her fury, Black Heart zoomed forward. Jacob, realising she was going to kick him the same way she did during their one-on-one fight, immediately got his shield up. While it stopped her feet from impacting him directly, it did nothing to stop the force of the kick from going through and send him flying through the air onto his back. IF charged forward with a wide swipe from her right katara but Black Heart ducked under it and punched IF in the gut. IF lurched forward, putting her head in the optimal position for Black Heart to uppercut her into the air and making her land on her back. Black Heart caught IF's foot as she landed but was forced to drop it as Purple Heart turned her around and punched her in the face.

Black Heart span around uncontrollably a few times before coming to a stop. In front of her, Purple Heart had readied herself, holding her long katana in a reverse grip behind her. Black Heart rolled her shoulders and put up her fists. So focused were the two CPUs on one another that neither of them would have guessed that Compa would have fired three bullets at Black Heart. One of them missed but the other two hit her torso and made her face Compa. Not a moment too soon did she turn, for Nisa's Justice Kick was headed right for her and Black Heart had just enough time to duck, allowing the attack to sail harmlessly over her head.

Compa, with unusual bravado, charged up to Black Heart with a loud "Hyaaah!" with the intent to butt stroke Black Heart's head with the end of her syringe but the CPU caught Compa's attack and kicked Compa's stomach to force her away and disarm her. Before Black Heart could explore the possibilities of her new weapon, however, Purple Heart rushed forward to slice but Black Heart quickly swung the syringe around to parry the sword strike like Nisa did previously. Not easily deterred, Purple Heart struck again. Black Heart tried to parry once more but Purple Heart managed to knock the syringe out of her hands without damaging it somehow.

Black Heart was about to rush forward to attack Purple Heart but she found herself attacked by two force spheres that knocked her off-balance and gave IF a window to run in and slash her across the stomach before running away in a hit-and-run manoeuvre. Purple Heart, deciding to finish this, flew over to Black Heart, picked her up by her underarms, lifted her into the air and then slammed her on the ground.

"**ARGH!**" Black Heart screamed on impact as Purple Heart moved off her. Black Heart, slowly and awkwardly, managed to stand up again.

"Don't try anything," Purple Heart warned. "You're surrounded on all sides, even above you."

Black Heart looked around her. Sure enough, Purple Heart, Compa, Nisa and IF were standing on four sides of her with their firearms ready to shoot. Above her, Black Heart could see Jacob floating, ready to cut off her escape with any one of his attacks. She was well and truly trapped.

"Black Heart, please tell us what happened in Celestia," Jacob requested again. "We can work this out."

Black Heart only looked at him with anger. "Go to hell." She pulled out from her hammerspace a black remote with yellow stripes and pressed its big red button. All of a sudden, her body turned into white data that flew over to the entrance.

Mystified, Jacob landed on the ground. "What the hell was that?" he asked as Purple Heart transformed back into Neptune.

"A reset button," IF informed him as she retracted her kataras. "It lets the user escape a dungeon with their party."

Jacob sighed. "Well, that's just dandy." He then turned to the rest of the party. "How is everyone?"

"I'm alright," IF answered as she rubbed her chin. "That uppercut hurt like hell, though, but I'll be fine."

Nisa's arm was wrapped around her body. "I have taken a lot of damage but a heroine of justice's body will not give in to such injuries." Even though she said this, her face indicated a bruised pride. "Although, to think that a duel with a CPU would tire me out so much…"

"I'm a bit winded but I'll be okay," responded Compa.

Neptune was the only one who didn't answer. In fact, she was oddly quiet, looking at the ground as if in deep thought.

"… Neptune, are you okay?" Jacob asked.

"Hm?" Neptune turned to face him and smiled. "Oh, I'm just peachy! Don't worry about pretty ol' me."

Jacob wasn't convinced. "Neptune, what's on your mind?"

Neptune stopped smiling. Now she looked sort of depressed. "Well, it's just that… She looked very sad, doncha know?"

"I have to agree," said IF. "She was much more proud than that when we met her and when we fought her last. Here, she acted so... desperate."

Nisa looked uneasy as well. "She even acted like she was Neptune's friend. There's so much we still don't know about the Console War…"

Neptune looked even sadder.

"I think," began Jacob, "that we should take the rest of the day off. We've learned a lot today and we need to let this all sink in."

Compa nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. But first, we need to tell Chian about the Expo."

"Too right. Let's go, everyone."

"Hey, hold on!" Nisa urged everyone to stay for a bit longer as she ran over to… Black Heart's sword. "At the very least, we got an awesome item drop out of it. Neptune, do you-" Before she could finish that sentence, the sword disappeared in a flash of light. "… Where'd it go?"

"I dunno," responded Jacob, equally confused. "Maybe she got out of HDD and the sword went with her?"

"That's probably it," said IF. "Anyway, let's go."

* * *

><p>"Hm?" went Chian as she saw the front door open. "Oh, hello," she greeted the party. "You need something?"<p>

"No, not really," IF answered as the party sat down on the barstools again. "We were just on a mission to rescue an Avenir employee from a dungeon."

Chian might have raised an eyebrow. "Why would an Avenir employee be in a dungeon?"

"Train wreck. Let's not get into it because we have something more important to tell you. He said that the Expo's still on."

"… What?"

"Well, to be fair, we don't know if he's a reliable source because he was incredibly shady. Still, I don't know why he wouldn't be lying," Jacob explained.

"The Expo's still on? Are you sure?" Chian asked, getting a bit overexcited. "I can't let myself get my hopes up if it's not true."

"He said that it would be broadcasted over the radio," Compa responded. "Is it on?"

"It's always on," Chian replied as she looked at the object in question. "You never know if important plot-driving information's going to be broadcasted or not."

"Well, in that case, you can just leave it off unless we're here," said Jacob.

Chian might have blinked. "… Why?"

"Well that's because… Um…" Jacob seemed reluctant to answer.

Chian crossed her arms. "Why should I leave it off unless you five are around?"

"Sorry, it's just that we're not silhouettes and we're plot-important characters," Nisa explained.

"I'm sorry," Jacob apologised. "I just thought it'd be a rude thing to say."

Chian didn't move. "… You're not silhouettes?"

"… Can't you tell?" Compa asked.

"Well, no. Everyone looks like a silhouette to me. Although…" Chian stroked her chin, "… you all have your own silhouettes. Most people have to share and you'll probably see a person talking to themselves about how much they love the shoes from the shop owned by themselves. Normally, people who say they aren't silhouettes are laughed out of the room but… after all you've done, I think I believe you."

"Aw, really?" Neptune smiled wide. "Well, thanks, Chian!"

Chian might have looked at Neptune as if she seemed a bit off. "Hey, are you okay? You seem quieter than normal."

"It's been a long day," Jacob intervened. "We'd rather not go into detail about it."

"… Broadcasting public information from the Basilicom," played the radio.

Everyone turned towards it. "Everyone, hush!" ordered Neptune.

"How about you hush?" IF countered.

"How about you both hush?" Jacob added.

"Everybody hush, damn it!" Chian shouted.

"The Tech Expo, said to be cancelled yesterday, is re-opened under the sponsorship of the Parliament," the female voice informed.

"See, told ya!" Neptune pointed at Chian with triumph. "The Expo's on like monkey kong!"

"Lame," went Jacob.

IF kicked his ankle.

"Ow!" he muttered.

"You heard it too, right everyone?" Neptune asked the others.

"We were right here, Neptune," Jacob answered. "Of course we heard it."

Chian didn't seem to be overly happy, however. "Yeah, but… Parliament sponsorship? What do you think that means?"

"Well, Avenir's got the Parliament's favour and the Parliament pressured the Sanctuary into closing the Tech Expo only to open it under their sponsorship. Call me crazy but I think Avenir's pulled some strings and the Expo is now rigged in their favour," Jacob explained.

"Jacob, thank you for being here because I don't think there's a single other person in Lastation with your insight."

Jacob blushed and squirmed a bit. "Aw, you're just saying that."

Chian laughed. "Yeah, I am."

"Chian," Nisa started, "that shady employee also informed us that Avenir has been working on their project for three years. Does that strike you as shady?"

Chian turned to Nisa. "What? Three years? Are you sure?"

"Indeed-y do!" Neptune spoke up. "I was there, too! He said they'd been working on it since the company started."

"The Expo's theme is on 'weaponry' but that was only determined this year," Chian spoke.

Jacob clapped his hands together. "And there we go. Avenir is pulling the strings and they got a two year headstart."

"Th-That's cheating!" Compa cried out with indignation. "Do you really think Avenir had this planned out since the company's foundation?"

"True. It's a lot of effort just to get attention. They must be draping a cloak over their real objective," IF guessed.

"They're probably planning to absorb the entire industry," Chian responded. "The Expo is perfect for them to flex their mechanical muscles."

"For reals?" Neptune asked, evidently surprised.

"Who knows? All I'm certain of is that Singe, the representative, wishes to replace all of Lastation with machines!"

Jacob leaned back in surprise. "Well, that's a huge jump in logic. I mean, what the hell makes you think that? I don't really see how winning an expo leads to replacing every human with a robot."

"I know it's a bit out there but, if there's anyone who would try such a thing, it's Singe. He doesn't have faith in humanity, which is why all the manufacturing is done by machines even though Avenir has a lot of employees. The most they do is the marketing or run errands like buying materials," Chian exposited.

"Even so, what's he got to gain from replacing all of Lastation with machines? Even though machines have pretty much replaced manual labour, humans are still necessary for creative things like marketing or navigating to the shop to get materials. I'm pretty sure even their AI isn't sophisticated enough to replace the human mind."

"What do you mean?" Compa asked.

"Well, machines can do many tasks many times over. The fact they don't get tired or break easily like humans do makes them good to perform manual labour in a human's place. The thing about computers is that they will do exactly what you tell them to do. However, that's also a double-edged sword; they will _only_ do exactly what you tell them to do. Machines are stupid as they can't think for themselves. Machines and computers are nothing more than advanced tools. You can program a heating system to warm up your house overnight but that's all it will do. Not once will the system ever warm up the house over the course of a day without being prompted to. That's what humans do. We tell the machines what to do and how to do it and they do it. Even if the manufacturing at Avenir is done with machines, there was an original design made by someone that was put into the machines."

"Then…" Nisa started slowly, "… Singe should know that. Why would he then try to replace all of humankind with machinery?"

"Probably bad writing," Jacob said simply. "Tried to make a 'don't replace manual labour' message and screwed it up."

"… Are you saying he's insane?" Chian asked with concern.

Jacob shrugged. "Sure, let's go with that."

"I'm a bit worried about the Expo…" Compa mentioned.

"Don't worry about it. We'll stop Avenir. Anyway, Chian?"

"Yes?"

Jacob smiled. "We're a bit hungry. Can we have some lunch?"

Chian might have smiled back. "Ah, so you all want a taste of Chian's cooking? Well, just tell me what you want and I'll dish it up…"

* * *

><p><strong>I bet you're all wondering what the hell's up with Noire and why she's acting so emotional. Well… that will be expanded on later. :P<strong>

**Anyway... well, that day was a bit of a doozy, wasn't it? And it's not even over yet. How was that fight scene, by the way? I think I'm getting better at this although I would like some feedback. By the way, are there any books with fight scenes including two high-powered beings? I'd like to read those for inspiration.**

**See what the party gets up to next time in Chapter 16: Reminiscence of the Outsider.**


	16. Reminiscence of the Outsider

**Yes! I managed to avoid making this a filler chapter! ... Well, it is a filler chapter but we were going to have to go through this one way or the other. Anyway, review responses:**

**Ikari Zero: O_O Mother of Purple Heart, give me a moment to re-read this... Okay. Yeah, I found that very annoying, especially since the game expected me to do that boss fight _four times_. Ugh. Don't worry; that'll be explained. Well, I don't know if this'll live up to your expectations since I'm just filling in time until Black Heart appears again but oh well. Thanks for being a dedicated reader!**

**CrimsonHeresy: Well, here it is now.**

**Red-Drive: Yes! I have made Noire likeable to EVERYONE, even her detractors! Compile Heart, hire me! Anyway... that reference was completely unintentional. I've never even watched Shakugan no Shana. Also, well, they had no reason to talk to her. They had no idea who she was (they don't even have the excuse of comparing her to Neptune because they didn't know Neptune was Purple Heart) and, in their second encounter, Purple Heart tried to have a civil discussion with Black Heart but the stubborn... girl wasn't going to take any of that and just ran away like a spoiled brat.**

**Eyeshield: I can laugh at myself because I'm not afraid of taking jabs at myself and my self-image is not a great big deal to me, which is not the case for many self-insert fic writers. Anyway, I've tried that with this chapter. Tell me what you think.**

**godofmadness43: I dunno. I sometimes wonder "Why is my foot sore?" It's because the world's a jerk. -_-**

**Saturn56: Yeah, no.**

**Saturn56: Thanks. I thought that'd be a good moment. After all, Purple Heart and Neptune share the same beliefs, likes, dislikes and everything. The only differences between the two are their manners of speaking and their dispositions. The same can be said for every CPU, including Plutia and Iris Heart. Anyway, Purple Heart's seriousness makes her Neptune antics even more hilarious.**

**MegaRaziel: Well, let's find out. Alright, maybe I'll check those out later.**

**liexi: You poor little man. :(**

**Eisenfaust: Good to know my fanfiction actually has healing properties. Anyway, those questions may or may not be answered later.**

**one who walks the path of fire: I wish I knew why some characters are silhouettes and some are not. :(**

**Zaralann: Thanks.**

**kevin bosak 7: What rest button?**

**Hydrocity3: YES! I am now converting the hesitant! BOW BEFORE MY AWESOMENESS! ... *cough* Anyway, thanks. Admittedly, Neptune is the hardest character to capture. I blame NIS America for this; it feels like they just chucked whatever they thought was "random" into her dialogue and made it stick. I don't have their... "imagination". What do you think of Jacob himself, by the way?**

**DMAsh: O_O ASH! *tackles* Where the hell have you been? And why did you read Chapter 15 before 14? That's ridiculous. Anyway, thanks and get back to work on Hyperdimensional Infinite Neptunia.**

**That Courier: Thanks. I get the impression I'm doing that for a lot of people these days. Still, Bioshock and Hyperdimension Neptunia? That'd be interesting.**

**It seems that everyone's fond of the plot twist. As for plot twists, allow me to speak of them right now. If you want a ****_good_**** plot twist, you need to make sure it matches the following criteria: 1) it re-contextualises past events, meaning that what happened before now has a different meaning, 2) it plays with the expectations of the reader and 3) it makes sense. Let's take the ****Kingdom Hearts**** series for example. I hate Tetsuya Nomura for this; while he gets 1 at least partially correct, he fumbles 2 and 3 to an almost unbelievable degree.**

**He said in an interview that the most important part of a story is to make it "surprising". What he fails to get is that the idea that a plot twist will be in the story is supposed to be unexpected. By this point, it would only be shocking if there wasn't a plot twist. Furthermore, the plot twists always come from out of nowhere and only introduce more questions, which defeats the purpose of the plot twist to surprise the reader with answers to their questions. Yes, it's good to surprise the reader but you should be sensible about it and not use plot twists as a crutch.**

**On with the fanfic!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16: Reminiscence of the Outsider<strong>

Three days had passed since the second fight with Black Heart. With no more leads to follow, the party fell into a routine of taking on maybe two jobs a day, playing video games, eating, chatting and, as IF suggested they do, trying to gather more information. Unfortunately, no matter how many NPCs they asked, the party couldn't find any more information on where they could find any Guard Vermins on Lastation. Asking about Key Fragments proved to be an even more fruitless endeavour as no one even knew they existed. This is why the party just spent most of their time lounging about when they didn't have any missions to do.

Currently, it was the afternoon. In the motel room, IF and Compa were sitting on IF's bed while looking at IF's phone. The sixteen dogs were lounging around or playing with each other.

"Hi, 5pb here!" broadcasted the voice of a young girl from the phone. "Been a while! We're taking messages from our listeners right now. I'll read them here and carry the messages on to whoever you want! These can be about anything: life updates, thank yous, love confessions, whatever! The messages can be for someone special or just for me. Okay, here are the messages we got today…"

Jacob, Nisa and Neptune came in. "Hey Iffy-"

"Shush!" IF hushed Neptune quickly.

"… What's going-"

"Shush!" IF insisted.

5pb continued. "This one's from screenname Kurohako, a Lastation resident. 'Good morning, 5pb. I'm writing to say thanks to the people who saved my town from tadpole monsters the other day. Thanks a bunch!' I never knew there were tadpole monsters… I wonder if they grow up to be froggies?" Jacob could swear he heard the girl shudder. "W-Well, I guess that's not too pleasant to imagine. Do we have any other messages…?"

"Kurohako?" Nisa repeated. "Was she not the woman who assigned us the quest of taking care of the Frog Baby?"

"Yeah." IF turned down the volume on her phone. "She wrote a letter to thank us and she sent it to this radio show, Hi-Five Radio, which is hosted by 5pb."

"And I thought IF was a weird name," Jacob commented.

IF sighed.

Nisa seemed pleasantly surprised. "I didn't know you were a fan of 5pb, IF."

Compa smiled. "I said the same thing. I love 5pb's songs. They're so… magical. I sing Ryuusei no Bifrost all the time."

"You too?" Nisa asked, eyes shining. "Kono sekai ni umareta sono imi wa…"

Compa was caught off guard but she continued regardless. "Sadame ni ayatsurareru tame janai…"

"Dakishimete, mamoritakute…"

"… kakegae no nai kokoro wo…"

Jacob had never seen anything quite like it. As Compa finished, she and Nisa were looking at each other as if they had seen the very souls of one another. Their smiles were bigger than anything Jacob had ever seen and he could've sworn the room itself brightened up from their eyes alone. While the two were having their moment, IF just looked the slightest bit annoyed and Jacob didn't really care.

Instead, Jacob's attention turned to Neptune. She didn't have a reaction on the account of her being lost in thought. "You alright?"

"Hm?" she snapped out of it and looked at him. "Oh, I'm right as rain," she claimed with her usual smile.

"... Alright, then." Jacob was not convinced but he dropped the subject anyway.

"Aw, don't worry about me!" said Neptune cheerily. "Anyway, Iffy, we have Avenir's quest to do, right?"

"That's right," affirmed IF as she looked at her phone. "Thanks for being here on time everyone and thank you for not complaining again, Neptune."

"Sorry but I will complain in her place. Anyway, I cannot believe we are helping Avenir again!" Nisa whined. "The first time was tolerable, as we were all only informed of Avenir's heart of darkness. However, the facts have presented themselves to us and still we assist them!"

"I understand. Believe me, I'm also annoyed. Unfortunately, money's money and we need to make ends meet," IF explained.

"That's true but we are rather set as far as money goes and there are other sidequests we could be doing. Why are we going with _Avenir's_ work?"

"Because they pay a lot. Anyway, there's still some time before the mission. We can go now and wait around for them or we can pass the time with video games."

Jacob raised his hand. "I'm going with the video games option and I vote we play LittleBIGPlanet- I mean, GiantSMALLWorld."

"I vote for GiantSMALLWorld, too," stated Compa, also raising her hand.

"I, on the other hand, vote for FreezRed," declared Nisa.

"Yeah, what Nisa said," said Neptune.

"I think we should play GiantSMALLWorld because four of us can play it at once," Jacob argued.

"So? We can take turns with FreezRed," Nisa retaliated.

IF flipped open her phone.

"Some of us suck at fighting games," Jacob countered.

"Well, the same can be said for platformers."

"It's GiantSMALLWorld. How the hell do you screw that up? Besides, we can pick up the pace if you lose all your lives."

"It's still not very fun! I don't know about you but I don't like dying all the time!"

"How do you die all the time? It's GiantSMALLWorld, not Super Meat Boy."

"What the Underverse is Super Meat Boy?"

"Never mind. Point is it's not a hard game."

"Maybe for you but I cannot get a handle on those ridiculous jumping controls!"

"Well, fine. IF can play instead of you."

"What?" IF wasn't really paying attention to their argument before but hearing her name is enough to catch her focus.

Nisa looked very annoyed, more so than before. "What? No! I will not be beaten by a kid's platformer!"

"Excellent." Jacob turned to the other girls. "Ready to play?"

"Mhm," sounded Neptune.

"Sure," responded Compa.

"Alright, let's get started." After making sure everyone had their controllers, Jacob turned on Lastation's console.

IF turned back to her phone. "Well, so much for that."

* * *

><p>For the job that Avenir hired them to do, the party was to go to another floating island. They were to meet the job poster at a large, steel vertical bar gate that was in horrible shape. While the gate itself still looked reasonably sturdy, everything near it was in horrible shape. To the left of the gate was a fence made of wooden planks, most of which were falling off if not outright missing. To the right was a steel fence made of vertical bars, most of which were bent out of shape. At the top of the fences was barb wire that was arranged haphazardly and broken apart in some places. The gate had three chains connected to the ends and middle of the top of it that would serve to lift it up if it needed to be open, which was an okay mechanism but it'd be easily bypassed because the wooden wall looked like it would fall apart if someone so much as farted on it. As if that wasn't enough, the grass was long and unruly and in dire need of mowing, preferably via a lawnmower made from the bones of a dragon.<p>

This surprised the party because beyond the gate was a small town that looked somewhat clean from a distance. At least, they think it was a small town. For all they knew, it could've been a collection of small factories that looked like a small town from afar. It was hard to tell. Before they could investigate, however, they had to talk with the quest giver silhouette.

"You're the ones Avenir hired to fight monsters? What the hell's that company thinking?"

IF recognised him right away. "Wait, aren't you that guy who almost didn't let us into the Basilicom? What are you doing here?"

"I'm substituting for an Avenir employee. They asked me to explain the job to you." The Basilicom's doorman cleared his throat. "You are to defeat as many monsters per their specification as you can and deliver the bodies, dead or alive."

"Wait, what? How are we supposed to do that?" Jacob asked. "Monsters vanish when they're defeated."

"That's not my problem," he answered dismissively. "If you have any questions, just ask the damn employee later."

"But he's not even here and we don't even know how to do the job assigned to us," Jacob argued.

"I don't suppose you have some sort of monster paralysing bullet?" IF inquired. "If you do, that'd be very useful."

The doorman did not look happy. "Look, my job was to explain your job to you."

"And we don't even know how to do it," Jacob interrupted.

"Again, not my problem. Figure it out yourself."

Jacob sighed. "At least tell us where we're supposed to go."

The doorman groaned. "Do I have to explain everything to you like you're snot-nosed infants?"

"Hey, I expect you to tell us the bare minimum required for us to do the job _you _want us to do," Jacob snapped.

Even though he was a silhouette, the doorman's efforts to restrain his rage were evident to the whole party. Finally, he seemed to calm himself down before he pointed at a building through the gate. "Do you see that beige factory over there? That's where the monsters are coming from."

"What beige factory? Do you mean the one you're pointing at, the one to the side of what you're pointing at or the factory that's completely to the side of what you're pointing at?"

The doorman had evidently had enough of Jacob's sarcasm and began to storm off.

"Hey, hold on!" Neptune's call made him stop and turn around. "Hey, how's Black Heart doin'? Is she dandy?"

"What do you care? She's alright. Anyway, you have a job to do." He stormed off again.

IF looked at Jacob disapprovingly. "Did you really have to say that?"

Jacob looked a bit embarrassed. "Sorry."

"Jacob, I'm sorry but I have to agree with IF. You have to be more tactful in social situations," Nisa chastised him.

"I know, I know." Jacob sighed. "I'm sorry."

Away from the focus of the party, Neptune sadly looked at the group of trees that the doorman left through.

* * *

><p>"Well, this is a welcome change of pace," Jacob stated. "Instead of another Cave Number 1, we're back in Factory Number 1! Oh, how I missed change."<p>

"You've all been here before?" Nisa asked as the party turned right at the two-way split ahead of them.

"Well, just Compa, Neptune and I," Jacob responded. "It was our first tutorial dungeon in Planeptune. Also, we went to another one here in Lastation with IF."

"… Why would you go to two tutorial dungeons?"

"Well," Compa began, "we found the first Key Fragment in Planeptune's tutorial dungeon so we thought we should try our luck in the next one. Unfortunately, it didn't work."

"Ah. A shame. Now, we are to find monsters and deliver the bodies, correct?"

"It's the deliver the bodies bit that worries me," answered IF. "Jacob was right before. How, exactly, are we supposed to do this? We don't have any equipment that can stop monsters without killing them. Even though they said we can bring the bodies dead or alive, the bodies disappear when they're dead anyway. Although I just really want to know what they want the bodies for…"

Before that question could be answered, the party was crossed by a random encounter, although this was not a typical one. For the first time, the party was not faced with monsters but with machines. One of them was a large, tan-coloured bipedal construct with two strong backwards-bent legs, each with a pump almost as wide as the lower leg that it was pumping straight back and forth into, two arms that had four-barrel guns encased in a thick cylindrical shell replacing the forearms and, from its back, a large cannon pointing straight up. Its main body looked like a small cockpit.

The other two machines were much smaller and bluish-grey in colour. Their main bodies were cylindrical with a gun barrel at the front, a thick layer of steel on the top and a hollow fin-like object protruding from the back. On each side was a long, bulky object parallel to the body that had a flash suppressor protruding from the end. Underneath those objects was where the legs were connected. These legs were also bent backwards but they didn't have pumps and they weren't thick at all. They were more like the legs of a bird if the leg joints of a bird were wheels and their talons were covered in massive metal caps.

"I don't know what these are," Compa informed the party as she pulled out her syringe. "My textbooks were only about organic monsters. There weren't any machines in them at all."

"Do not fear, Compa." The blade of Nisa's weapon appeared as she held the prinny gun behind her. "Those smaller ones are Automatic Cannons and the large one is a Gunner. They sometimes go rogue so people like me have to clean up their mess."

"Robots, huh? Well, this is a first," Jacob remarked.

"Yeah," agreed IF as she extended her weapons. "How do you think we should go about this?"

"Hold on a sec," answered Jacob as he raised his hand to signal for everyone to not attack. The puzzled party only watched as he calmly walked over to one of the Automatic Cannons that were naïve enough to think they were still going by turn-based rules. He grabbed the thing by its sides and lifted it into the air.

"Huh, it's lighter than I thought," the otherworldly teen noted as he flipped the enemy over and placed it back on the ground. As it realised the world was now upside down and it was facing away from the party, it kicked as hard as it could to regain balance. Unfortunately for the silver war machine, it lacked any mechanisms that it could use to right itself.

Jacob dusted his hands together. "A job well done. Seriously, whoever made these things should be fired from making robots."

IF chuckled. "Seeing that thing pathetically squirm to get up again is hilarious."

Neptune, while not chuckling, was still clearly humoured. "Now that's funny."

"While it is funny to watch, I prefer to win my battles with honour," Nisa spoke.

"Yeah, let's put that aside for now. Sensei, I don't suppose you could trip up that Gunner?"

"Sure, allow me." Nisa rushed over to the Gunner and jumped over it.

"Good. Now," Jacob turned towards the second Automatic Cannon, "as for the other one…"

Realising what it was about to go through, the Automatic Cannon tried to flee by running backwards. However, its feet were not made for that sort of thing. Jacob could probably shuffle along the ground faster than the miniscule robot. In no time at all, he caught up with it and lifted it into the air. He would've turned it on its back at that point had the mechanical monster not shot him at point-blank range.

"GYAH!" Jacob yelled as he fell backwards from the shot.

"Jacob!" IF shouted in alarm as she dashed towards him. The Automatic Cannon, however, had gained insight on the party's rule breaking and decided to intervene. It shot several times at IF as she approached but, being the fastest member of the party by quite a large margin when Neptune didn't feel like transforming, they were all easily dodged. When she got within attacking range, the blue-coated girl wasted no time in kicking the bucket of bolts up into the air before slashing at it furiously. Despite being a robot and therefore resistant to cuts and other types of surface-damaging weapons and attacks, this combo was rather effective on it. The best part was that the combo actually made the Cannon land on its back, helpless to get back up.

"Well… that was easy," remarked IF as she retracted her kataras.

"Nngh…" Jacob held his hurting stomach as he pushed himself away from the ground. "Probably should've… seen that coming…"

"Jake, don't stand up!" warned Compa as she rushed towards him with Neptune behind her. At the same time, IF and Nisa approached him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, actually… I'm fine…" Jacob sat down against the nearest wall. While he was in pain, his clothes weren't ruined and he wasn't physically damaged. "Wasn't I shot…?"

"Must've been a force shot," IF guessed. "They pack a punch but they're not very lethal. Getting blasted by a shot that's right in front of you, however, is definitely gonna hurt. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Don't think it's anything a bottle of reflex can't fix…" To test this, Jacob pulled out the item from his disc, removed the cork and took in the contents with great gulps. He wiped his mouth with his forearm. "Well, that numbs the pain a bit…" Jacob tried once again to stand up and succeeded without much trouble. "I tell you what, I'm getting sick of being the punching bag of the party."

"It's not normally your fault but you weren't careful that time, Jake," Compa lectured him. "Like my grandpa always said, 'look before you leap'!"

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks." Jacob performed a few stretches. "Well, at least we know a way of disabling the monsters without killing them."

IF opened her phone. "Yeah but these are robots. According to the specifications set by Avenir, they want living monsters. I don't think they meant for robots to be caught up in this."

"Alright then, let's go on until we find something. Neptune, take point. I'm sick of taking hits."

Neptune blinked. "What's taking point?"

"It means go in front of the party. You're leading."

"Wait, why do I have to go in front of you lot?" Neptune asked, clearly unhappy.

Jacob sighed. "Again, I don't want to get hurt again. It happens too much."

IF crossed her arms. "Hey, we've all been hurt by monsters before."

"True. I've just been impaled by a whatever the hell Arfoire is and kicked in the stomach by a CPU flying at Mach 4."

"… Touché," was all IF could say to that.

"Now, Neptune, lead. We'll follow."

"… Fine," Neptune gave in, although she looked anything but fine with the decision.

The party continued walking through the Factory #1 until-

"_Whoa!_" IF shouted.

Never has the party stopped, drawn their weapons and braced for a fight faster. "What is it, where is it?" Jacob asked quickly.

"Oh, there isn't an enemy. Just hold on a sec…" The party watched IF draw up her sleeves, revealing the katara-extending mechanisms braced around her arms. She took them off and put them away somewhere underneath her massive blue coat. Afterwards, she pulled out two gauntlets that had long holes where the knuckles were.

"… What are you doing?" Jacob asked.

"Equipping the claws Neptune got me a few days ago." IF put the gauntlets on. At the flick of her wrist, very long blades snapped out like claws. "I can't believe I forgot about them. How dumb was that?" IF asked with a joking smile as the party began walking again.

Compa couldn't help but smile as well. "Even Nep-Nep and I knew to equip our weapons."

"You're falling behind, Iffy!" Neptune teased.

This sapped IF of her good mood. "You of all people should not be criticising me for mental lapses. Or anything, for that matter."

"But you admitted it yourself," Compa brought up.

"That's not the point!" IF was even more annoyed.

From behind the bickering trio, Jacob just rolled his eyes.

Nisa looked up at him. "Aren't you going to get them to stop?"

"Nah, at least we're moving."

Immediately after Jacob said that, they were greeted with another random encounter in a remarkable twist of irony. This random encounter went back to tradition with two blue cobras that had green and gold markings on their bodies. Also, on the sides of the fins and the bodies were small, stubby horns.

"Oh, we have Hell Vipers," Compa observed.

"How do we trip them up?" Nisa asked.

"Do you have some sort of paralysing agent that we can use on them?" Jacob asked Compa.

The apprentice nurse shook her head. "Sorry, no. The fluid's just there to add weight and make it look pretty."

"… Why didn't you just get an assault rifle, or even a semi-automatic rifle?"

"W-Well, the syringe was free and it came with free training for nurses," Compa explained.

"Besides, guns are NPC weapons and utterly useless when you need them," IF added on. "Now, how do we take care of these snakes?"

The party stood in silence as they thought amongst themselves about how to capture the snakes.

"Hey, Compa?" Nisa began. "Can you open up your syringe and put the Hell Vipers inside it?"

"It doesn't work like that, sorry. It can only draw in liquid like a syringe does."

Jacob rubbed his chin. "So, seeing as they won't move until we make a move, who votes we just walk past them, see if anything else is around that we can kidnap and, if we don't, we can come back to these guys later if we have any ideas?"

"Sounds like a good idea," IF concurred.

"Then on we march."

And so the party walked around the reptiles that never moved from their position or did anything to halt their progress. When the party finally left around the corner, the Vipers just looked at each other as if the world suddenly turned pink while they weren't looking.

* * *

><p>"You just got scrapped!" shouted Nisa as she took out yet another Gunner.<p>

"Two random encounters later and we haven't found anything better than snakes," said Jacob as he stood next to an upside-down Automatic Cannon.

IF looked at her phone again. "Maybe the boss will be a good catch. Since we're right in front of the room directly opposite the entrance, it's probably here."

"Poor predictable level design," Jacob mock-lamented as he punched his right fist into his left palm. "Let's get this going on."

The party advanced through the passageway where they anticipated the boss was. As it turned out, they were correct.

"It's a Roc…" Compa noted.

The Roc was a massive bird. Actually, that would be inaccurate, for it had four legs and, if it wasn't floating in the air with its wings that shouldn't allow it to levitate like that, it would be walking around like a tiger (or, rather, leaping at the party because that's what all monsters do). Its front feet were typical eagle talons but its hind legs ended with navy blue paws. Apart from that, however, the Roc looked like a typical bird with feathers that were feathers were primarily white and secondarily black, a black hooked beak and gold and blue stripes running along its length. The only other oddity was the golden medallion embedded in each of its wings.

"Looks surprisingly normal," commented Jacob with the faintest hint of surprise.

"Guess you don't have these things back where you're from," responded IF as she extended her claws. "Now, how do we go about this…?"

Jacob took notice of the features of the boss, trying to find a weak point. "We need to take out the wings first. Actually, let's take out its legs because they're targets in plain sight while it's-"

The Roc rose into the air slightly.

"Wait, what's it doing?" Jacob asked as he wasn't expecting this.

The Roc then dived towards the party as a speed that was ridiculously unsafe in such a confined space.

"_Look out!_" As Jacob screamed, he rocketed above, Neptune dived to the left and Compa and Nisa dodged to the right.

IF, however, had a different agenda; right before the white avian was about to collide with her, she rolled underneath it so that it passed over her. The cynic of the party swiped at the boss' feet but she missed.

"Damn it," she cursed as she stood up from her roll. "Thought I'd get that attack in. Everyone!" she called. "Change of plans! We're taking out those wings! If that thing keeps charging, we're not going to have any windows to attack!"

"Got it!" Jacob flew after the enemy. Chasing it around the room proved to be a hassle as it never stopped turning but Jacob, being smaller, was still able to match its agility despite his relative inexperience. After finally getting the patterns right, Jacob landed on its back.

"Gotcha now!" he said before the Roc somersaulted in the air and dropped him towards the ground. Thankfully, he activated his jetpack before he collided with the cold steel floor and landed safely.

"Jacob, fire a Wrecking Ball!" Nisa shouted.

"Right!"

He raised his hands at the Roc that was currently coming back around to rush the room again. As soon as it charged at him, he prepared his Wrecking Ball. However, upon realising how quickly the boss was advancing, he cancelled his attack and dodged to the side. He tried again but, while the Roc was turning, it was too fast to get a certain shot, and the Wrecking Ball was not the kind of attack he'd made an uncertain shot with. He would've waited until it charged at him to fire but the Roc cleared the room mighty quickly and his survival instincts said 'Get out of the way' as soon as the monster was facing him.

"What are you doing?" IF shouted at him as she shot at the Roc along with Nisa, Neptune and Compa.

"Sorry but it's too fast! I can't get a clear shot!"

Suddenly, Compa had an idea. "Jake! Please pick me up and drop me on it!"

That was a confusing idea to the black-clad male. "What? Why?"

"I have an idea!"

As the bullets were only as powerful as random attacks and there was no indication of whether the bird would finally ram a party member sooner or later, Jacob decided a potential idea was better than none. Once the Roc flew across the room again, Jacob zoomed over to Compa and, with a great deal of effort, lifted her into the air. He'd never flown while carrying someone before but he quickly learned to adapt to the extra weight. After flying after the Roc for a bit, Jacob finally dropped Compa right over where the Roc would be.

"Take this!" the normally meek Compa shouted as she plunged the needle right in the back of the flying monstrosity, causing it to screech and not turn soon enough to avoid crashing its side into one of the four large cylindrical fuel tanks located on one side of the room. This crash sent Compa and her syringe flying off of the beast and into the wall behind the tanks, from which they fell onto the floor. Miraculously, the syringe didn't break.

"Compa!" the heroine shouted in concern.

"I'll get her!" Jacob flew over to the tank that the team's medic was behind. "Neptune, transform!"

"R-Right!" With a single violet flash, Neptune had once again activated her HDD. However, there was something off about her. Purple Heart always looked powerful, serious and ready to bring the fight to her enemy. Just looking at her face and posture would tell you that Purple Heart was a warrior of great strength that would not be easily overtaken. Now, Purple Heart looked anxious. She was looking at the Roc but something was distracting her and only she knew what.

The Roc charged at her. Planeptune's CPU took out her handgun and shot at it several times with fire bullets but, even while it hurt it slightly, it kept going. Purple Heart got out of its flight path just in time. As the winged beast came around again, Purple Heart charged directly at the head of her adversary with her sword behind her in a reverse grip.

"Neptune, don't kill it!" IF shouted.

"Huh?" Purple Heart looked towards IF, which proved to be a dire mistake as she was caught directly in the Roc's charge. This resulted in her being slammed into the wall as the Roc turned.

"_Neptune!_" Nisa screamed with genuine fright.

The only response she got from Purple Heart was a slight groan.

Jacob came out from between two of the fuel tanks with Compa behind him. "What happened?"

"Neptune got hit badly! She needs help!" IF reported.

"What?" Compa looked over at Purple Heart and immediately panicked. "Oh no! Nep-Nep, I'm coming!" she called as she rushed over to her comrade.

"Jeez, and I thought I took the worst hits of the party…" Jacob commented as he made his way back into the middle of the room.

Nisa growled. "Screw it!" With vigour powered by fury and impatience, Nisa ran as far as she could to the side of the room opposite to where the Roc would be and turned around to face it, her gun's blade active and ready. Predictably, the Roc chose her as its next target. As it soared towards the heroine, Nisa leaped towards it.

IF and Jacob watched with confused anticipation.

"Justice Kick!" Nisa cried out as she extended her leg towards the monster. Sensing the danger, the Roc banked to the right. Nisa sailed past and her kick never impacted its head.

Nisa directly hit its wing instead.

"**_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !_**"

Everyone covered their ears as the Roc's shrill cry of pain reverberated around the room. Even so, Nisa landed on her feet unharmed.

The Roc, with its broken wing, crashed to the floor.

"Its wing is disabled! It can't fly anymore!" Nisa called out.

"Wide Roar!" Jacob cried as he fired his massive red laser at the prone boss. He kept the laser on it for half a minute before letting up.

He floated down on the floor to look at the monster with the party. The Roc looked unbelievably exhausted and in agonising pain, which was to be expected as its wing was broken and it was just razed by a laser for thirty seconds.

Jacob winced a little. "Ow…" he muttered. "I hurt just looking at it. Especially my shoulder."

"Me too…" Compa was also recoiling slightly.

Nisa walked over to it. "Well, this thing isn't going to move itself, nor is the job going to get completed with it." She looked over at her 'sister'. "Neptune, can you help me carry this?"

"Oh, sure," responded Purple Heart as she walked over to the Roc. "Where should I lift it?"

"The head will do. Now, on the count of three…"

* * *

><p>Jacob and IF were in front of Purple Heart, Nisa and Compa, who were carrying the injured Roc, as the party ventured down the hallway that they came from, fending off random encounters as they came.<p>

Surprisingly, the Hell Vipers from before were still there. As they saw the party walk by, they bared their fangs and hissed.

"Sup?" Jacob greeted with a raised hand. IF also raised her hand, Compa and Nisa nodded and smiled and Purple Heart just nodded. They never stopped walking.

The Hell Vipers, after a moment, just sighed and slivered off.

* * *

><p>The party had arrived outside the dungeon with the Roc. After Jacob and IF opened the gate, the party was finally waiting outside of the old, rusted thing.<p>

Not too long after, a silhouette approached the party. "Well, I can honestly say I didn't expect to see you here today," he said to Jacob with a chuckle.

Jacob recognised him. "You're that silhouette who asked us to find Ganache."

The silhouette nodded. "That's right. I've come to collect the defeated monsters." He then turned to the Roc that Purple Heart, Nisa and Compa dropped on the ground. "… Maybe I should have brought more equipment for this."

"Sorry," Jacob apologised. "Most of the factory was filled with robots and the only other organic enemies were snakes and we didn't know how to disable them."

"We didn't specify dead or alive," the Avenir employee answered.

"Doesn't help," IF responded. "Monsters disappear when they're killed. We told this to the Basilicom employee who was here before and he never told us how to do our jobs."

"He was very rude," Compa added.

The employee seemed taken aback. "Oh, they disappear? My apologies, I was completely unaware. I will make sure you're compensated fairly."

IF crossed her arms. "May I ask something?"

"Absolutely."

"What do you plan to do with this Roc?"

This question made the employee rub the back of his head. "That's a very good question. You see, Avenir is currently developing a new machine. It's rather large and we need a good conductor. This creature's nervous tissue does more than enough of a good job. Removing the nervous tissue, however, will kill the monster. Therefore, dead or alive meant nothing to us."

The Roc looked at the party and groaned in pain. It was as if it understood exactly what the man was saying and was frightened of it.

Jacob couldn't stand it. "I'm sorry but I really can't stay. I'm gonna go off ahead. See you girls later."

"Hold on," Jacob stopped as Purple Heart ran up to his side. "I will not let you go off on your own again."

"Fair enough." Jacob looked at the other three girls. "See you later."

"Bye, my student!" Nisa called as Jacob and Purple Heart walked off.

"Um… Am I missing something?" the employee asked, apparently confused.

"Don't worry about it," answered IF.

"Very well, then. In any event, I'm sorry that we asked you to do a job you weren't equipped to do. Regardless, you did a fantastic job. You will receive your payment shortly."

Nisa smiled. "A pleasure doing justice-flavoured business with you."

The employee might have smiled back. "It's even more of a pleasure for me, trust me. If we find ourselves in a difficult position, we will definitely call on you again."

* * *

><p>Jacob and Neptune, the latter having cancelled her transformation, were standing outside the gondola lift when the rest of the party arrived. "There you are. Ready to go?" Jacob inquired.<p>

"We've got the reward," IF responded. "There's no reason for us to stick around. Let's get moving."

The party took their seats inside the transport. Jacob and IF were on one side with Neptune on the opposite, sandwiched between Nisa and Compa.

"Hey, Jacob?" Neptune started. "Why did you want to leave?"

"Oh. Right. You know I'm a pacifist, right?"

Nisa didn't, if her surprise was of any indication. "What, really? I thought you enjoyed fighting."

"No, I'm fine with fighting. I just don't approve of killing," Jacob elaborated.

This also intrigued IF. "Even of monsters?"

"Yeah. Well, not really. The monsters are artificial and I have no qualms about killing artificial things, especially robots. Still… when I saw that Roc essentially cry for help…" Jacob released a disheartened sigh. "I can't see things in pain."

Compa looked like she empathised. "I know what you mean. I can't leave injured people alone. I have to help them. That's not the case with monsters, though… I have no idea what you're going through."

Jacob smiled. "Hey, don't worry about it. I'll be fine. Anyway," Jacob swapped out his smile for a serious face as he looked at Neptune, "we need to talk about you."

"Huh? What about me?" Neptune asked, confused, especially since everyone was looking at her now.

"Neptune, you've been despondent for three days. We need to talk about it."

"Wh-What are you…" Neptune decided to smile as wide as she could. "There's nothing wrong with good ol' me!"

"Yeah, that's what you said before we left for this mission. It's also what you said last night, yesterday and the day before. To be honest, I got sick of this after the first day but I put up with your story because you were emotionally hurt and I wanted to give you distance. However, if this is going to put your life at risk, we need to talk about it."

Neptune still seemed hesitant.

"Nep-Nep, please talk to us," Compa pleaded.

This was enough to make Neptune cave. "… I can't stop thinking about Black Heart. I try to stop, I really do, but… she seemed so hurt. I don't want to hurt other people and I want to help but I dunno how." The CPU's voice began to crack. "Why's she so sad? Why does she wanna beat us up so much?" She clenched her fists on her knees. "What happened before I became an amnesiac?"

No one could really answer that.

Compa wanted to, though. "Nep-Nep?" she asked meekly to get Neptune to look at her. "You didn't do anything wrong. You might've done something bad before you lost your memory but you're a really good person. I believe in you, Nep-Nep. All you have to do is say sorry and she'll be your friend. She has to believe you."

This seemed to be insufficient to convince Neptune. "But what if she doesn't believe me? What if she just hates me?"

Jacob groaned. "You know what? Screw this. We're getting nowhere like this. We're going to have to talk to Black Heart herself if we're going to clear this up."

"And just how do you think we're going to do that?" questioned IF, disbelieving. "We can't exactly bust into the Basilicom and I doubt any of your zany Saturday morning cartoon ideas are going to help us."

Jacob leaned back. "… Actually, I think I have a different idea. IF, the Basilicom handles quests, right?"

"… Yeah, why?"

Jacob smirked. "Splendid."

* * *

><p>As soon as their ride came to a complete stop, the party disembarked the gondola lift. Oddly enough, Neptune was the first one off, and the most excited one to boot.<p>

"Oh my gosh bosh, tomorrow needs to come now, I can't wait!" she said so quickly it might as well have been one word.

Compa followed her in almost as high spirits. "Nep-Nep, calm down. Tomorrow will come sooner than you think."

"You can't keep down excitement like that, Compa!" Nisa looked like she was about to burst with glee. "I should know! I'm trying and failing!"

IF and Jacob trailed behind the group. "And you're certain this will work?" Jacob asked IF.

"Absolutely," answered the brunette. "If it doesn't, it's proof that the universe itself is conspiring against us." She looked up to Jacob with a smile that she just couldn't keep down. "This is a really great idea."

Jacob blushed and squirmed noticeably. "Aw, thanks…"

IF chuckled slightly. "You are so adorable when you do that. It's like you're only five years old."

"Anyway," Jacob started, "we don't need them but we could always get some supplies. What do you think?"

IF shrugged. "Why not? Let's spend the rest of the day shopping."

Jacob nodded. "Agreed. Tomorrow's plan is not going to fail."

Jacob's stomach rumbled as if to say it was sick of being forgotten. IF and Jacob looked at it.

IF smirked a little bit. "Maybe we should get something to eat."

A little snigger escaped Jacob's mouth. "Yeah."

* * *

><p>Later that night, as our protagonists slept, another encounter was about to take place in Lastation's Basilicom. Within the glass dome of Black Heart's chambers, a silhouette was waiting but not for long; from behind the purple curtains walked out Lady Black Heart. She did not look very happy.<p>

"Hello." Regardless, Ganache spoke warmly. "I never expected to be able to meet with Lady Black Heart alone."

Despite her bad mood, Black Heart still held on to her patience. "It was difficult of me to arrange this so don't expect an opportunity like this again. Don't get me wrong, I am glad you feel that way, but we have urgent matters to discuss. I trust you're aware of Neptune's group?"

"Indeed I am," Ganache replied. "I am surprised that they managed to recruit Nisa but that doesn't matter in the whole scheme of things."

Black Heart's eyes narrowed. "And what about Jacob?"

Ganache might have looked surprised. "Well… while it is rather unusual that he is the only male in a group of five, he doesn't seem that special. He is rather unusual, though. I recall him having slapped Neptune in her transformation."

Black Heart definitely looked surprised. "He slapped Neptune?"

"He was very apologetic about it, mind you. He called it a reflexive action when she touched him. I'm surprised someone with anti-social tendencies such as that is part of an adventuring party."

"It's probably just an act," Black Heart responded with the slightest sense of anger.

Ganache could have raised an eyebrow. "What makes you say that? I don't doubt you but I never got that impression from him."

"Ganache, listen carefully," Black Heart commanded with vigour. "He is not normal. He knows about the Console War. During my first encounter with the party, he knew who I was even when I was transformed."

"Th-That's surprising…" If Ganache being surprised was only a possibility before, it was a definite now.

"What's more," Black Heart continued, losing her hold on her anger, "is that he knows about Neptune falling from Celestia and blames it on _me_. He accuses me of pushing her off!"

"Why would he accuse you of that?" Ganache inquired. "Did you correct him?"

"Of course I did!" she snapped.

"What did he say?"

Black Heart paused for a moment. Her wrath began to wane. "… He seemed genuinely surprised and confused. I think he believed that his accusations were the truth."

Ganache put a hand to his chin. "This must mean he got his information from a second-hand source. But what, though?"

"I don't know," Black Heart answered, "but I will find out."

"Would you like me to capture him and bring him to you?" Ganache offered.

"Thank you but that will not be necessary. I will wait for the opportune moment to strike."

"Understood." Ganache bowed in respect. "Should I still carry out the plan?"

Black Heart paused. She turned around so her back was to Ganache and looked out the window into the dark night. "I can't tell what the representative thinks of all this. Does he approve?"

"We don't really get involved with each other. He does things his way and I do things my way. Do not worry about Nisa or Jacob. I guarantee you that they will not impede the plan in any way. Sit back and relax, my lady, for I will take Neptune down."

Black Heart closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "… I'm sure that you will."

* * *

><p><strong>*head desk* *head desk* *head desk* I can't BELIEVE I forgot about the claws! … Actually, I can because I forget a lot of nuances in this fanfic. I forgot I gave <strong>**BlazBlue**** a parody name and I was about to call it "CoolRed" this chapter. One of these days, I'll have to re-read my entire fanfic just to make sure I'm not getting any inconsistencies. I'm not even keeping any notes; I'm really just writing this as it goes. Lesson, people: this is not a good thing. Keep track of your writing or it will get waaaaaaay away from you. If any of you spot any inconsistencies, please tell me.**

**Also, I am very well aware that The Secret Meeting takes place before The Scheming Solicitor but I don't care. Also, why are those cutscenes called "The Scheming Solicitor" if Ganache never shows up in them?**

**Well, the plan is going into motion next chapter. How will it turn out? See it for yourself in Chapter 17: Super Dimension Game Party, Roll Out!**


	17. Super Dimension Game Party, Roll Out!

**Hey guys. I don't really have anything to say right now so let's head straight for the review responses:**

**crimsonheresy: You'll find out... later! Also, for God's sake, log in.**

**godofmadness43: You'll find out... now!**

**Wdog-999: You'll find out... now!**

**Saturn56: Maybe and maybe.**

**Prinny Overlord: You'll find out... I dunno!**

**Eyeshield: We'll see about that. I've done it a bit more here, please tell me what you think. And... for Jacob's sake, hopefully that day will never come.**

**Hydrocity3: I had the idea of making them come back but now I'm thinking "Nah". And thanks. Is there anything negative you can say about him?**

**Red-Drive: It's getting rather annoying how the series is completely unaware of itself. You'd think a work of parody fiction would be more self-aware than this. Anyway, I don't actually watch that much anime (although I am a huge fan of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Heroman and The Lucifer and Biscuit Hammer). Also, that's awesome. Here's the thing; I don't like Hyperdimension Neptunia but that's why I want to make it better here.**

**liexi: Or perhaps it's more proof that this is a Gary Stu fic where the characters are all conforming with his beliefs. O_O Nah, I kid.**

**DMAsh: Well, I don't really know how this chap's come out but we're definitely picking up pace. And... well, Jacob's really stopped caring. By this point, he knows this is an otaku's dream come true and he's just rolling with it. Won't stop him from pointing out other inconsistencies, though. Anyway, listening to the song... You know, her voice isn't that bad. I find this weird because I couldn't stand the English audio for the Hyperdimension Neptunia games. That settles it; the problem is the script.**

**iTwilightEnvy: Thank you very much. Anyway, it was originally ?! but this site seems to hate that and it cut off the ?. It's really annoying, especially if I want someone to shout a question. Seems to have been fixed, though, which is awesome.**

**Eisenfaust: None of that from Jacob, sorry. Hyperdimension Neptunia abused those to hell and back and I prefer not to... well, I do but not from Jacob's mouth.**

**TheZeroDarkness: Thank you. Now, I wouldn't pay attention to them but that wouldn't be professional of me. It's something I have to do.**

**Guest: AFFIRMATIVE.**

**xnobody13: Thank you very much! You know, if I were to have Jacob in the games, I'd make him a Colosseum boss. To highlight his defiance of his surroundings, I'd have him be completely invulnerable to special attacks (well, the ones with their own animations anyway, like Mirage Dance and not Dark X-Blade Slash) and replace their animations with completely different ones where he dodges their attacks and counters. Their cutscene powers won't save them. :) Anyway, thank you for reviewing a fanfic you don't even care about.**

**Now... there are two reviewers I haven't responded to yet. Now, I would have liked to have talked with them further but they are just guests, which is ridiculously annoying as I really do want to talk to them more. Anyway, here are my responses:  
><strong>

**Anonymous: 1) You should've been ready for that from the summary alone, 2) he IS a self-insert as I have made _VERY_ clear several times, and 3) please expand on that because the definition of a Gary Stu is a wee bit wonky. Actually, the other guy is writing the fic. I'm just his beta reader. Anyway, I hesitate to call you a "good fan" due to your hostility and the fact you can't seem to accept that there is a character I don't like in the series. I mean, that's bull. I'm quite fond of CFW Judge and to see him put at the bottom of most people's favourite character lists is a bit annoying but you don't see ME whining about it. Except for now, of course. Anyway, my friend is allowed to write whatever he wants to write. If you have a problem with that, please give actual reasons why it won't work apart from "Because I don't like it".**

**Guest: Before we start, I'd like to mention I've taken to calling you "Binklebottle Jr" because you didn't provide a name and I needed something to remember you by. Anyway, let's go. Firstly, that's a hell of a statement you've got there. I mean, I was here when Uncle Fester was still running around, I know of the existence of Naruto Veangance Revelaitons or whatever it's called and I know of My Immortal. Do you read a lot of fanfiction?**

**Secondly, we're not even that far into the story yet. Also, there's really not much character development for Jacob to go through (this WILL change). Wait; how do they ignore _ALL_ canon personality traits? Everyone seems in-character for me and many others.**

**Thirdly... well, do you REALLY want to read an entire fanfic that's like the following?**

_"That's..." IF began with her eyebrow twitching while the rest of her body stood perfectly still, "... insane," she finished with her shoulders rising and her eyes narrowing as her hands turned over so that their palms were facing the roof and-_

_"I GET IT!" Jacob shouted as he tilted his head upwards and raised his hands to the sky as the fingers on his hands were somewhat curled and his arms were slightly bent. "She's in disbelief!" he brought his arms down like a scoop used in construction, looking at IF with gritted, bare teeth and wide eyes all the while. "Can you PLEASE," he raised his hands in the air and brought then down again, "GET," he repeated his gesture, "ON," up and down again, "WITH," up and down again, "IT?!" he finished as he brought his arms up and down for the final time, looking at IF with his bare teeth and wide eyes, panting heavily all the while._

**I don't think you would. I like to think that my readers are not brain dead or born in cinemas playing the Transformers live action movies ad infinitum and I offer description on the level that people can tell what's going on but they can let their imaginations do the rest. Not to mention that I'd probably lose my will to live if I was forced to write like that. However, if the Hyperdimension Neptunia series accepted that criticism, I think it'd benefit from it.**

**Fourthly, there is a reason for that. You see, my critics often have terrible spelling and they completely blow off the story only because it's a self-insert story. As you can imagine, it's really hard to take them seriously, much more so when they're anonymous and not even willing to show their faces in fear of retribution. I promise you now that I am not angry. In fact, you are the first "hater" of mine that I'm actually willing to talk with more. You seem to have something resembling a good head on your shoulders and you seem to have writing knowledge. I don't mind my critics as long as they're actually constructive and able to hold in biased bile. Anyway, I'm trying to improve as I have said in many Authors Comments for this fic.**

**"Blight upon this community"... hell of a statement there, my friend.**

**Now, chapter away! **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17: Super Dimension Game Party, Roll Out!<strong>

IF woke up the next morning after a good night's sleep. She'd gotten used to the generator ages ago; getting around the world, she was forced to put up with ridiculous living conditions from time to time and… well, the generator was still pretty bad but she'd slept through worse. Getting up from her bed, she looked around and wasn't the slightest bit surprised that, while Neptune and Compa were still sleeping, Jacob and Nisa were gone.

Compa stirred. In a few moments, she sat up. As was always the case when she slept, she was wearing her pink-trimmed white halter neck chemise. "Hi, IF…" she greeted with a yawn.

"Morning," IF returned before getting up from her bed.

Compa rubbed her eyes. "You know, I think you should get yourself some pyjamas."

"Nah, I'm good with what I have on now." IF retrieved her coat that was hung over the railing at the foot of her bed and snaked her arms through its ridiculously long sleeves.

"Doesn't it get weird, though? Sleeping in what you wear all day?" inquired the drowsy girl.

"It's convenient," responded IF as she put on her long black socks and tall blue boots. "I wake up, get my coat and footwear on and I'm ready for whatever the day has for me."

"What happens when you need to wash your clothes?"

"I have spare clothes." IF stood up and made her way to the front door. "Don't think I haven't thought this…"

She stopped at the stove as a letter caught her attention. She picked it up and gave it a brief once-over.

"What's that, IF?" Compa asked.

"And this is why I wish you followed my example," not-answered IF.

"… Huh?"

The brunette turned around as she put the letter in her coat pocket. "Get changed. I'll wake up Neptune and we'll head for Chian's."

"O-Okay." Compa was a bit confused but she still got up from her bed, picked up her disc cover and headed for the bathroom.

IF sighed and walked over to the sleeping CPU. "Alright, time to wake up."

She raised her flat hand.

* * *

><p>"You didn't have to slap me to wake me up, you know," Neptune complained as she rubbed her cheek.<p>

"I know. You said so five minutes ago when we left the motel," IF responded as they reached the front door of Passe's restaurant. "By the way, how is that still stinging?"

Compa opened the door and entered. "Hello- _Whoa!_"

"What? What is it?" Neptune pushed her way into the restaurant. "_Whoa!_" she exclaimed.

Most likely because it was early in the morning, no tables were occupied or holding food on them. Well, except for one. One of the six-seater tables was absolutely packed with food. Well, not absolutely packed but there was a huge amount of pancakes, a large bowl of fried rice, plenty of dumplings and crullers and several other breakfast dishes, most of which seemed Chinese in origin, available in vast quantities. Well, vast for a big breakfast, anyway. At each seat was a plate with chopsticks, a spreading knife and a fork.

"What's all this doing here?" IF asked, definitely as surprised as her comrades.

Chian entered from the side hallway. "Hey, girls! Like what you see?"

"Chian? Did you cook this?" Compa inquired.

The silhouette definitely looked proud. "Heck yeah! Jacob and Nisa came here a while ago and told me you were all going to do something big today so you needed a big breakfast."

Just then, Jacob and Nisa entered the dining room. "Oh, you're here," Jacob greeted.

"Jacob, I can't believe you got this all ready for us!" Neptune was definitely excited.

"Hey, I did all the cooking," Chian cut in.

"Oi now, we helped," Jacob retorted.

"And? I still provided the kitchen and the ingredients and most of the food!" Chian snapped.

"Anyway," IF interrupted, preferring not to let this get out of hand, "thank you for the food."

"You're welcome," Jacob and Chian said at the same time. They looked at each other funny (in a hostile way) for this. Well, Chian was still a maybe. Jacob wasn't really as hostile as much as he was vaguely irritated.

Neptune didn't pay this any mind. She already made her way to one of the middle seats and sat down. "So many delicious goodies…" Neptune wiped her mouth of her very abundant drool. "I dunno where to start!"

"Just take a little bit to start off with," Jacob advised as everyone else gathered at the table. "Make sure there's enough to go around. Well, there's definitely enough to go around but make sure everyone's got a full plate before you dig in."

"Thank you again, Chian, Jacob and Nisa." Compa bowed before she sat to the left of Neptune. "So, you two didn't go on your morning run?"

"We did but we cut it short," Nisa answered. "We wanted to get this meal ready before we headed off on the mission." Nisa quickly took a dumpling and chomped half of it off. "And such a meal it is! A heroine most definitely cannot fight injustice on an empty stomach, you know."

"Is this mission also top secret?" Chian inquired of IF as she sat next to Nisa.

"Yup," IF responded simply.

Chian could have smiled slightly. "You go on a lot of those. I still wonder what you're doing."

"If you're lucky," Jacob began as he took a seat on the other side of Neptune, "we may let you know later. For now, I'm starving."

And so the party dug in.

Then, suddenly, Neptune stopped eating. "Weih…" she spoke with her mouth holding more food than air. "Miffih…?"

"Nep-Nep, don't talk with your mouth full," Compa gently advised.

Neptune swallowed her food. "Mission…" she repeated softly.

And then her eyes lit right up right as she dropped her fork and plate (on the table, thankfully, so her food didn't spill anywhere).

"We're doing that today?!" Neptune enthusiastically shouted as she stood up quickly.

"You mean the plan? Yeah, that's today. We're going after we finish this, in fact," Jacob answered. "I wanted us to have a big breakfast because I want us to be energised before we get started."

"Gracious pastries!" cheered Neptune as she once more took up her cutlery. "I'll eat as much as my tummy can hold, then!"

"Nep-Nep, slow down before you choke!" Compa warned as Neptune began going through her food like a vacuum cleaner.

Chian laughed. "Your party must never be boring."

Jacob cracked a smile. "No, it never is."

"I wonder what it'd be like to be a member of it…" she wondered.

Neptune stopped eating so that she and Nisa could share a wink. IF just ignored the event and ate her provisions while Compa, Jacob and Chian just looked confused.

* * *

><p>A bit earlier than in due time due to Neptune's eating habits, the party had finished the lavish morning meal and exited the factory.<p>

"Thank you, Chian!" shouted Compa as they left.

"Good luck with whatever your plan is!" shouted back Chian from the restaurant door before she went back inside.

IF, however, looked... kind of mad, to put it mildly. "I can't believe you made me pay for all that."

"Hey, you're the one with access to the money," Jacob countered.

"True enough but the real issue here is how _expensive_ it all was. How do you spend 1,000 credits on _crullers?_"

Jacob shrugged. "Beats me. I'm still trying to figure out the conversion rate. In any event, Neptune's happy."

"Ah…" said a blissful Neptune, patting her stomach. "That was so good… And now I'm ready! Let's get 'that' going!"

"Righto. Next stop," Jacob clapped his hands together in giddy anticipation, "the dungeon."

* * *

><p>It took maybe ten minutes for the party to get to the lift that would take them to the dungeon. No matter how quickly the lift was going, it felt like it was taking forever; everyone was antsy to see this work. Especially Jacob, who was rocking back and forth, much to the confusion of his comrades.<p>

"Um, Jake?" Compa spoke.

"Yeah?" Jacob looked at the medic.

"Could you not rock, please? It's very distracting and it's making me nervous."

"Oh." At her request, Jacob stilled himself. "Sorry."

After a dozen or so seconds, Jacob started rocking again.

"Jacob!" IF said sharply.

"Sorry, sorry," Jacob apologised as he stopped himself from moving. "It's a nervous habit. I can't stay still for a long time. I need to keep moving."

Nisa had an idea. "If it makes you feel any better, try thinking of this as a self-restraint exercise."

"… Yeah, that makes sense," Jacob agreed. "Alright, I'll try that. Thanks."

He then took a breath and tried to calm himself down.

Then Neptune started rocking.

"That doesn't mean you can do it," IF reprimanded the CPU.

"Aw, butt nuggets."

* * *

><p>Finally, the party arrived at the dungeon. To Jacob's dismay, it was a Cave #1 dungeon.<p>

IF raised her hand in a 'stop' gesture towards Jacob. "Don't you dare start," she warned as she pulled out her phone. "It's bad enough that we wasted so much money on just one of our daily meals. I don't want to put up with your complaining as well. Now, do we go through with this?"

Jacob nodded. "Yeah. Make the call."

* * *

><p>Even though this was a big day for the party, it was no different from the previous one for the Basilicom. The Basilicom's doorman was just strolling down the corridor, holding a mug of hot coffee in his hand as he went, before turning left into a door. Inside the reasonably sized room were nine silhouettes, all of which looked exactly the same as the doorman. Eight of them were lined up along opposite walls in two lines of four and the final silhouette was in a tall seat at the end of the room. He would have looked like a judge if he wasn't focusing on his computer in boredom.<p>

The doorman walked up to the judge silhouette who looked back at him as he approached. "Oh, hello Moderator," he greeted pleasantly. "You're here earlier than usual. Why aren't you at the door?"

"Good morning to you, Questmaster," the Moderator responded before taking a sip from his coffee. "I felt it was a good morning to get some fresh air. Also, my shift hasn't started yet."

"You know, you should probably cut back on that coffee," the Questmaster advised. "You'll get addicted to it and you'll probably never have a good sleep again."

A tired sigh escaped the mouth of the Moderator. "I have an excuse this time. Smash woke me up playing video games on the backside of midnight, the naughty dog. I don't think I've ever been so annoyed by his 'whoa's."

The Questmaster smiling was a huge possibility right now. "You should cut back on it. Look at me; haven't even had so much as a coffee-flavoured chocolate all my life and I couldn't feel or look better."

"That last part would mean a lot more if you weren't a silhouette," the Moderator responded.

"Hey, watch it," jokingly warned the Questmaster.

One of the silhouettes on the right wall interrupted their conversation. "Um, Questmaster?"

Both the Moderator and the Questmaster looked towards the employee. "What is it, Four?"

"I got a bit of a weird quest. I think you should look at it."

"Really now?" The silhouette duo looked back at the Questmaster's computer screen and read the quest application after Four sent it through.

The Moderator could have scrutinised the quest. "I do not like the smell of this."

"I feel the same about your coffee," responded his associate. "I best get this to Black Heart, then."

"Don't worry yourself," said the Moderator as he used his free hand to take his flip-top phone out of his pocket. "Send the quest to my phone and I'll take it to her directly. She's probably doing something important right now that will stop her from answering hers."

"Oh, thanks."

* * *

><p>The Moderator was partly correct. He was correct in that Black Heart was in the middle of something. He was wrong in that it was important. Currently, Black Heart was sitting on a black leather seat behind the purple curtains in her private chambers. On her lap was a black laptop.<p>

Black Heart seemed a bit agitated but not at the computer.

"Okay…" Black Heart sighed before typing on her laptop. "Let's try this again. 'Dear Utadah… I am a follower of yours-' No, no, no…" After backspacing what she typed, she rubbed her face in fatigue. "How do I ask for voice acting advice without sounding obnoxious…?"

And then the Moderator entered through the door. "Lady Black Heart?"

"Go away!" called Black Heart. "I'm busy!"

"My lady, this is very urgent," the Moderator insisted.

To calm herself down and stop her laptop from being thrown through the glass dome, the black-haired royalty took a deep breath. "Is anyone dying?"

"No."

"Is something on fire?"

"No."

"Did Murderarea 3's multiplayer servers go down?"

"Not for another week."

"Then how is this important?"

The Moderator sighed a sigh that was unheard by the CPU. "We just received a quest that directly mentions you."

"… That's it? Could you not have just sent it to my phone?"

"My lady, I would not have brought this to you if I did not deem it absolutely necessary."

Black Heart groaned. "Fine, whatever." Reluctantly, she stood up and walked around the curtains towards the silhouette. "This better be worth my time."

Without another word, the Moderator handed his sovereign the flip-top phone that belonged to him. The quest was already on the screen.

**_Client: Whirlwind_**

**_I just found this purple-haired girl heading for a dungeon. She seemed pretty angry and depressed and she kept going on about how she'll find Black Heart in the furthest room of it. I'm a good judge of character if I say so myself and I'm pretty sure this girl isn't well-aware enough of her surroundings to last very long. Can someone please go fetch her before she gets herself killed?_**

**_Recommended level: 20_**

Black Heart didn't say a word. When she read the application, she read it again to make sure she understood it right.

"... Are you okay, my lady?" the Moderator asked.

"When did you get this?" she asked without looking away from the screen.

"Just now. We-"

Before he could finish, the CPU ran out the door in a hurry.

"… Fine. Take my phone. It's not like I need it for anything."

* * *

><p>Leading into every Cave dungeon was a pair of tall yet narrow stone doors. Histoire knows what the hell they were for, unless someone got sick of silhouette children getting lost and somehow ending up on floating islands accessible only by their respective gondolas and getting eaten by monsters. Despite being made from stone, Black Heart easily pushed open the doors with one hand and made her way inside. Okay, yes, she was in HDD but the doors should require more effort than that.<p>

"So you're in here, Neptune?" Black Heart asked herself. "Well, if this is what you want, I'm bringing the fight to you."

Her challenge spoken, she walked through the cave with dignity, determination and a will to prove herself as the stronger of the two. She was delayed several times by random encounters but they were quickly dealt with. No matter what, she would not be stopped from finding Neptune.

Finally, Lastation's goddess came across the backmost part of the dungeon. Neptune was right there in the middle of the room. She was lying flat on her back, humming to herself without a care in the world.

Black Heart tapped her sword on the ground as she entered to catch her attention.

"Blacky!" Neptune nearly cheered as she sprung up quickly. "You're here!"

Black Heart didn't care for pleasantries. "What trap have you set for me?"

The unexpected response seemed to confuse Neptune. "… Eh?"

Black Heart simply rolled her eyes. "So I wake up one morning and my doorman tells me that someone put up a quest detailing that a purple-haired girl went into a dungeon looking for me. As it turns out, I am also looking for a certain purple-haired girl. If I were a paranoid person, I'd be thinking that this purple-haired girl knew that and deliberately set up a quest so that we'd meet."

Neptune put her hands behind her head and "innocently" glanced around the room. "You'd have to be a very paranoid person to think that."

"Where's the damn trap?" There went her patience.

"Right above ya."

Quickly, Lastation's CPU turned around with her gun drawn and double tapped. Unfortunately for her, the bullet deflected harmlessly off the speeding Wrecking Ball that smashed her into the floor.

Neptune giggled.

However, Black Heart was not very receptive of jokes like that. Injured, she attempted to push herself off the ground and roll so she could get back up. "You think that's enough to stop me?"

Fate, being easily tempted, responded to this in the form of Jacob falling from the ceiling that he embedded himself in and landed on Black Heart's back in an unintentional body slam.

"Ow…" Jacob groaned. "I forgot how much that hurts…"

"Uh, Jacob? You're kinda using our enemy as a pillow."

"Huh? Oh, right. Sorry."

Jacob lifted himself off Black Heart with his jetpack and floated to his companion's side. Thank goodness he did that then. If he didn't, he would have been hit by the falling rock and not Black Heart's stomach.

"Ooh…" Jacob's hands moved over his stomach. "That's not gonna do well for her breakfast."

"She seems to be fine," Neptune pointed out.

It seemed to be an inaccurate statement, given that Black Heart was definitely weakened from being hit by a massive sphere of force, a falling six-foot male and a rock to the belly. However, as she was still managing to push herself off the ground despite her injuries, she was fine in a relative sense.

"Okay," she breathed, "you've had your fun…"

That was all she said before she was forced to the ground again because of Compa falling on her back.

"Sorry!" apologised the apprentice nurse before standing up and running to Neptune and Jacob's side.

Black Heart sighed. This was not a good day for her. "Are you done yet?" she asked as she looked up at the current party of three.

"No," responded IF as she used Black Heart's head as a stepping stone when she ran over her, slamming her face into the ground again. "This is working much better than I expected," she commented as she reached the party.

Compa had a bright smile on her face. "Yeah. It's still hard to believe it was this easy."

"_Alright, that's it!_" With a mighty roar, the opposing goddess forced herself off the ground. Even with blood dripping from her nose and her body battered, she still looked fired up and ready to fight. "I've had enough of this! I'm taking you down now! And where's Nisa?"

Said heroine had just launched herself at the CPU from outside the room. "Justice K-"

"_Nice try!_" Black Heart seemed to be running on adrenaline as, with speed that could rival IF's, she grabbed Nisa's foot as it got within grabbing distance and then threw the entire blunette towards IF and Jacob. IF was quick enough to duck but Jacob was taken off-guard and consequently hit by his teacher, sending the both of them flying back.

"Jacob!" Neptune turned her worry to her comrades.

"Nep-Nep!" Compa shouted to alert her to the rapidly approaching Black Heart.

The black-clad CPU attempted to punch Neptune but a mighty whack to the face from Compa's syringe pushed her back. Far from done, the medic then swung in the opposite direction and hit the side of Black Heart's head, pushing her back even further. The syringe was then stabbed towards Black Heart's stomach but the distance between the combatants proved to be a bit too far and only punctured the surface. However, this still injured Compa's opponent and kept her off balance, giving Compa the opportunity to step back, aim her syringe and fire.

Black Heart, however, had other ideas. She brought out her wide sword and used it to block Compa's shot. She then took advantage of the weapon's semi-automatic firing mode to close the distance and strike the human with the flat side of her blade. Compa tried to block but that only caused her syringe to get knocked out of her hands. That action was going to be followed with another attack but IF jumped to Compa's rescue with a jumping kick to Black Heart's chin.

As Compa went to get her syringe, IF slipped under a horizontal swipe and hit the swordswoman's side with her claw, sidestepped the following upwards slash and countered with another strike to the arm and jumped on top of a foolish stab to deliver a sweep kick to Black Heart's face. Even if this caused IF to fall off the sword to the ground, it was worth it, especially because IF recovered easily by rolling when she landed.

"Ugh… Fine." Black Heart wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "I can't beat you five in a fair fight and I'm at a huge disadvantage when you get me with a surprise attack. Make no mistake, though…" She then rose into the air, "… I will take you all down!" and then she flew away out the door behind her.

"It's no use! We're gonna get ya!" shouted Neptune as the party took chase. As usual, Jacob took the lead with his jetpack.

* * *

><p>The beaten Black Heart flew through the dungeon, although to say she 'flew' would be a bit generous. Heavily injured and disoriented, she was much slower and less manoeuvrable than before. Jacob was right on her tail and the rest of the party was right behind him.<p>

To her relief, she saw the entrance doors straight ahead of her.

_Okay,_ thought Black Heart as she picked up speed, _the exit is right there. I just… have to…_

And then her HDD deactivated.

With her ability to fly lost but her inertia retained, she fell onto the rocky floor and slid across. She wouldn't let that stop her, though. She summoned what little strength she had left to attempt to push herself up.

"Hi," neutrally greeted Jacob as he landed behind her.

Surprisingly, the CPU was by no means discouraged due to his presence. "Don't think you've won…" One boot now had its sole against the ground. "I swear… I won't rest…" she then stood up, "… until I've defeated you…" And then she turned around.

Jacob was feeling a lot more sympathetic now. Even though she was glaring at him, her body was covered in bruises and grit and scratches. She had deeper scars on her right side and on the bicep of her left arm which she used to hold the first scars. It was amazing she was even standing.

Neptune and the others caught up eventually. "Yeah, we did it! We snagged ourselves a CPU!" the purple-haired girl cheered.

"Oh dear…" Compa was looking at the goddess' injuries. "Ms Black Heart, you need first aid right away."

"I'm fine," the injured girl spat.

IF seemed to be a bit weary of the lack of cooperation. "Please don't be difficult. We don't want to kill you or anything. We just want to talk to you. We need to learn more about the Console War."

"And why should I tell you anything?" Black Heart was still adamant about being as unhelpful as possible.

This upset Neptune. "Blacky, please…" she began, rather solemnly for her. "If I did anything mean before I became an amnesiac, I'm sorry, okay? I wanna be your friend."

"Wh… What…?" Black Heart was caught by surprise.

"Was I a bully before? Was I a villain? Because I'm not anymore, honest! I'm sorry for making you cry before. I don't want to hurt you or anyone else…" Neptune gulped. Nervously, she raised her right hand which had all of her fingers curled inwards except for the smallest one. "I'll even pinky swear on it… alright?"

"H-Hey now!" Black Heart placed her hands on Neptune's shoulders to calm her down. "Don't think this is your fault, okay? Because it isn't and it never was! It's... It's complicated… but you have done absolutely nothing wrong. Trust me."

Neptune brightened up immediately. "Really?"

A sigh escaped the mouth of the previously hostile CPU, although it seemed to be one of both exasperation and mild joy. "Yes, really."

IF tried again. "Hey, Neptune still has amnesia and she needs to know about the Console War as well. For her sake, please tell us what happened."

The monarch looked back at IF with hostility.

Compa could feel the tense atmosphere. "I think this isn't the best place to have such a discussion. Maybe we should have this back at our motel?"

"I agree," said Nisa. "It is too uncomfortable here."

"Not to mention Jacob's bound to start pacing soon and attract monsters that'll interrupt our talks," IF added.

"Oh shut up," Jacob snapped.

If there was one person who was confused, it was Black Heart.

The amnesiac CPU smiled at her. "Doncha worry, it's a party thing. Now, let's get you into bed."

"Wh-What?" Black Heart leaned back in surprise.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Damn it, Neptune."

* * *

><p>Getting back to the motel was as easy as always. For some odd reason, not a single civilian recognised their CPU. Yes, she was horribly beaten up but she wasn't in <em>that<em> bad a shape and her hair and clothes were the same as always. Even the motel receptionist didn't even so much as look twice as the party took Black Heart to their room.

Upon entering the four-bed apartment, Black Heart took a seat on the nearest bed. Neptune sat next to her while the others stood around.

Black Heart took in her surroundings. "Not the most pleasant living area but it'll suffice. Couldn't you have gotten better accommodations?"

"No," IF replied. "There aren't any other motels or hotels in Lastation. At least, as far as I can tell."

"That mustn't be good, especially not for the dogs."

Around the party and beds, the sixteen robot dogs had gathered, curious at this visitor. Black Heart picked one up. "I remember these back before they went out of fashion." The dog wagged its tail and made panting noises. "… Maybe I should have gotten myself one."

"You wanna borrow one?" Neptune asked. "They're very good puppies. They can do just about everything! Except paint, sorry."

Black Heart almost smiled at Neptune's eccentricity but she quickly stopped herself. "I'm fine, don't worry." She placed the dog back down. "Now…"

Jacob stepped forward. "Black Heart?"

Her attention turned to him. While she had calmed down a lot, she still evidently had a problem with him. "Yes?"

Jacob paused for a moment to collect himself. "I'm sorry."

Once more that day, Black Heart found herself hearing something completely unexpected. "Huh?"

"I falsely accused you of pushing Neptune off of Celestia. I honestly thought I was telling the truth and I humbly apologise for any damage I may have indirectly caused." Jacob gave a slight bow. "I was wrong."

Black Heart was pleasantly surprised by this apology but she still stayed wary of him. "Actually, I've been meaning to ask about that. Why, exactly, did you think I did such a thing? Where do you get all of your information?"

The other girls looked at him in anticipation.

Jacob rubbed his forehead. "I'll tell you but I'll warn you now that it's quite unbelievable."

"You knew about Neptune being a CPU despite her amnesia and you knew who I was when I was transformed. I think I can take it."

"I don't think you can," Compa added.

"Well… let's test that, shall we?" Jacob took a deep breath. "My name is Jacob Winters. I come from a small suburb in Australia, the largest island nation of Earth."

Black Heart was confused even more. "I've… never heard of any Australia, or of any Earth."

"Fair enough. This is Gamindustri, after all. Now, one night, I was home alone and I was playing a new game on my PS3. You may be interested in knowing that 'PS3' is an abbreviation for 'PlayStation 3'."

Jacob stopped for a moment to see if the connection between the name of his console and the name of Black Heart's landmass was made in her mind. Judging by her looking like she had some mild epiphany, he'd say it was.

"Anyway, this new game I got was called 'Hyperdimension Neptunia'. It is about a young amnesiac girl named Neptune who has been tasked to travel the four lands of Gamindustri, Planeptune, Leanbox, Lowee and Lastation, to find the Key Fragments needed to rescue Histoire, the 'tome of the world'.

"When I tried to play this game, however, my PS3 blew up for some reason I can't comprehend. However, at the same time, a pink-haired girl crashed through the roof of my house, the second floor of my house and embedded herself on the ground floor of my house. After a brief introduction where I learned her name was Neptune, we then learned that the world within Hyperdimension Neptunia was somehow real. After discovering a portal by complete accident, we found ourselves here."

Jacob took another breath and gave his listener some space to comprehend all this. "Lady Black Heart… this is a video game. You are a character in it."

Black Heart was, justifiably, speechless.

No one else made a sound.

Black Heart wasn't looking at anyone or anything. She was thinking, digesting this onslaught of exposition. She grabbed her forehead in order to somewhat quell the oncoming headache. Then she took a deep breath.

"This is insane," she decreed.

"Nuh-uh!" argued Neptune. "I was there at his house at the time! This man speaks the truth!"

"It's a bit extreme, I agree…" said Compa.

"Although, to be fair, it makes more sense than him being from Gamindustri," IF noted, "especially since this now shocking reveal that even he didn't know about."

"Must be a very good actor, then," Black Heart accused with a quiet yet harsh voice.

"I swear to God, I truly thought you threw Neptune off," Jacob spoke up defensively. "This is why we want to talk to you. What actually happened in Celestia?"

"Please, Blacky?" Neptune asked.

Lastation's CPU held the bridge of her nose. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"I'd like to know how Neptune actually fell from Celestia, if you know," Jacob answered.

Black Heart clapped her hands together. "Very well, then. You should all sit down because this is going to be a bit long…"

* * *

><p><strong>Huh. Well, that wasn't as epic as the title would have you thinking. I'm actually a bit disappointed. Sorry about that.<strong>

**You know something? At the start of the game, we all see the CPUs gang up on ol' Neptune. After the battle, we see her holding herself, obviously tired. Then, all of a sudden, we go to a dream sequence cutscene in which Neptune talks to Histoire. That's it. We don't know what happened in between. This was fantastic for me; I operated under the assumption that the other CPUs pushed her off. Then, writing this fic, it suddenly occurred to me that something else could have happened. I love being able to use the game's extensive plot holes to write this story.**

**On the other hand, the fact that the game does a ridiculously bad job at explaining how quests work really burns my toast.**

**In any event, Black Heart will tell her side of the story in Chapter 18: Crash.**


	18. Crash

**…**

**For the first time since writing this fic, I rewatched Opening 2.**

**Crap crap crap crap CRAP CRAP CRAP! They were already discussing throwing her over!**

**Thankfully, I think this is still salvageable.**

**So, without further ado, let me respond to you:**

**Eyeshield: I think Old English is more than sticking 'e's on the end of every word, good chap. And yeah, it would've but I had another idea in mind but I couldn't execute it so there we are. ... And you are entirely correct. Let's hope she never has the incentive to ask. Anyway, that's very interesting. I actually listened to a song she sang, some Touhou one, and she's got an okay voice. That settles it; the reason I couldn't stand the English voices was because the dialogue was so bloody embarrassing. Anyway, I'm sorry that the chapter was disappointing but Jacob prefers to get the job done rather than have epic fights. That is, he likes epic fights but he just prefers a nice easy job over that.**

**Saturn56: You'll find out maybe now, in the future, never or in an alternate dimension. Same applies for your question.**

**Prinny Overlord: No, it wasn't. Then again, when you're setting an ambush, you typically want to disable your target without being spotted and/or harmed. If you set up a mission critical ambush and then blow your cover for the sake of a good brawl, there is something wrong with you. Anyway, let's see if your curiosity is sated.**

**Hydrocity3: The bombshell was shot out of a railgun after Black Heart was pelted with several sniper rounds of piercing exposition. Anyway, thanks.**

**Eisenfaust: I'm glad that Jacob comes across as really smart to the audience. Too many people will call a character "smart" but they end up making ridiculously stupid decisions that even I know to avoid. It seems though that Jacob actually does have brains according to the audience so I'm doing this right, apparently.**

**godofmadness43: Indeed! Prepare to be utterly disappointed!**

**Zaralann: Thank you.**

**Red-Drive: Hold onto your seatbelts because I'd hate for you to reach your gun and headshot me after reading this!**

**crimsonheresy: Damn it man, log in already. Also... NO SPOILERS BE HERE! Shoo! Shoo! P.S: Alright, let's see how it goes...**

**ghostdominion6: Thank you very much. The characters are really hard to grasp with Neptunia and I'm happy to hear that I'm doing it right. Anyway, let's see how long the no-visible-criticism thing runs!**

**And, without further ado, let this chapter begin for you!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18: Crash<strong>

In preparation for Black Heart's story, Neptune lied down on the floor on her stomach and supported her head with her arms. Next to her, Jacob, Nisa and IF sat down, all of them cross-legged but Jacob was leaning forward slightly with his arms crossed, IF also leaning forward slightly but her hands were on her knees and Nisa was leaning back and supporting herself with her arms behind her. Compa sat on the bed next to Black Heart's.

"Ooh, this is gonna be exciting," Neptune said eagerly as she kicked behind her. "Come on Blacky, let's go!"

Black Heart sighed. "Calm down. Now, here's what happened...

* * *

><p><em>It was only maybe two weeks ago when the Console War ended if it wasn't put on hiatus. During the end, Green Heart, White Heart and I decided to focus our strengths on Neptune in order to-<em>

* * *

><p>"Whoa, hold your horses!" Neptune interrupted. "You're going way too fast!"<p>

"... Huh?"

"We can't see your flashbacks, see, so you have to be veeeery detailed for us, 'kay?"

"... You have to be kidding me," stated Black Heart, exasperated but not in disbelief.

"Neptune, we're not here for a lunchtime story. We're here to learn about what happened to you," said Jacob.

"Actually," IF spoke up, "I'm interested in knowing how this actually happened as well. We could learn something from it."

Lastation's CPU rolled her eyes. "Fine, have it your way."

* * *

><p><em>As you already know, the battle took place in Celestia. As usual, the fighting-<em>

"What's Celestia look like?"

* * *

><p>Jacob sighed. "Neptune, that's not important."<p>

"Exactly," Black Heart concurred, looking a bit annoyed. "It doesn't matter what Celestia looks like. All that matters is that this happened in Celestia."

"W-Well..." Compa started, "if it isn't too much trouble, I'd like to hear about what Celestia looks like."

"I feel the same," Nisa agreed. "I have never set foot in the home of the goddesses and I would very much like to know what it was like."

Jacob massaged his forehead. "... Well, it's not like the world's going to end in five minutes. Black Heart, do you mind?"

"Not at all. It's not like I have a bunch of employees back at the Basilicom who await my return or anything like that. Now, let's get back on track…"

* * *

><p><em>Now, the battlefield we were using was a large stone platform that was inscribed with many decals that I can't even begin to describe, surrounded by maybe eight pillars that were also inscribed with many decals that I can't even begin to describe. Also around the area for some reason were floating stone cubes that were also inscribed with many decals that I can't even begin to describe. Don't worry about the decals because they're not even relevant to anything. In any event, Celestia also had a lot of purple glass stained windows, making the entire area look purple. I don't really know why they're like that, considering there's myself, Green Heart and White Heart as well as Purple Heart, but we learned to just go with it.<em>

_So the other goddesses and I were in the middle of another fight- it was an on and off thing for us- when Green Heart decided to break us off. I objected, and then White Heart got into an argument with Green Heart-_

"What'd you all say, exactly?"

_Damn it, Neptune!_

* * *

><p>"I think I figured out why you were tossed over," Jacob commented at Neptune.<p>

"Nep-Nep, you are beginning to push it a bit," said Compa.

"Damn it Neptune, stop interrupting all the time!" IF shouted.

"What?" Neptune defended herself. "I just wanna know exactly how this goes!"

Black Heart took a very deep breath. "Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to recount, in perfect detail, what happened in the past."

"Ahuh."

"Right down to every single word."

"Hey, it could be important!"

Black Heart massaged her forehead.

"Would you like something to drink, my lady?" Compa offered.

"A glass of water will be nice, thank you. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, the ceasefire..."

* * *

><p><em>So, as I said, we were fighting when Green Heart- she had green hair tied into a ponytail, violet eyes and a white bodysuit that showed everything from the underneath of her breasts to just below her belly button, Neptune- stopped all of a sudden. Also, her weapon was a massive drill that she held perpendicular to her right arm like an extension to it.<em>

"Lady Black Heart?"

_Ah, thank you, um..._

"My name is Compa, my lady."

_Oh, terribly sorry. Thank you very much, Compa. I'm feeling a bit better now. Anyway..._

"_Neptune, you're getting out of hand," I think Green Heart said in her usual aloof tone of voice. "You two should let this grudge go as well. It's getting rather warm in here." I forgot to call her out on this at the time but the reason she's feeling warm is because she can't go for very long without overheating. Really, she's a massive chicken._

"_I'm tired of hearing that nonsense," I said back. "We've been fighting for thousands of generations. Why quit now?"_

"Thousands of generations?!" Nisa was shocked.

_Yeah. A fight between four girls can go for a really long time. Trust me when I say it was really important._

_Anyway, White Heart, the short one with spiky blue hair, red eyes and a white bodysuit that covered all of her body except for her arms and legs, just then stopped attacking Neptune. "… It's not just about Celestia," she said, quietly and angrily as normal. "That's what I heard from the former goddess. I won't let any of you selfish, icy bitches take the title of True Goddess!"_

"Whoa, hold on," Jacob interrupted this time. "What's this about a former goddess? And what's the 'True Goddess'?"

_... Let me finish. Anyway, as Green Heart considered White Heart... You know what? Their names are Vert and Blanc. Let's save time. Anyway, Vert considered Blanc more of an annoyance than anything so she argued with her. "Hush, now. Where did you learn such raucous manners? You think your demeanour is acceptable as a goddess?"_

_Now, Blanc has a very short fuse. One thing us goddesses can agree on is that she angers way too easily and is like an immature child. "Shut yer hole!" she shouted. "I can't stand the way you talk all high n' mighty. Get outta here..."_

* * *

><p>Black Heart took another drink and held the bridge of her nose. "No, I can't repeat that. It's too vulgar."<p>

"What? What'd she say?" Neptune asked, curious.

"Is it important?" Jacob asked, not curious.

"No, not at all. It's just another one of her five year-old moments."

"Then skip that part."

"Aw," Neptune pouted before crossing her arms and resting her head on them. "I can't believe Blacky's too big a chicken to curse."

Black Heart's big glowing red button was pressed. "Wh-What?! I am not a chicken! I can swear whenever I want! Here goes!" She cleared her throat.

* * *

><p>"<em>I can't stand the way you talk all high n' mighty. Get outta here, Th-Th… Th-Thunder Tits!"<em>

* * *

><p>"… Thunder what?" Jacob was definitely surprised by Blanc's vocabulary.<p>

IF blushed lightly, although she made sure no one noticed.

Compa was blushing like mad, though, and everyone who looked her way would notice.

Black Heart inhaled lightly. "One thing you should know is that Vert is… very well-endowed. This should never be said to her because she will never live it down but she blows both me and Neptune out of the water, even if we're in HDD and she isn't. Blanc, on the other hand, is anything but well-endowed. That's a bit of a sore point for her and I assume it's why she's angry all the time."

"So she's called Thunder Tits because she has shocking huge gazongas?" Neptune inquired.

"Neptune, don't use that language!" Jacob warned.

But it was no use. Neptune giggled. "That's such a good nickname! Hey Jacob, can I call you Spark Tits?"

His vision going from the entire spectrum to just red in an instant, Jacob brought a hammer fist down towards Neptune's back. However, she was quick enough to roll out the way so Jacob just pounded a hard wooden floor.

"**OW!**" Jacob screamed as he held his pained wrist. "Damn, that hurt!"

"Ha ha!" Neptune rolled back to her original position. "Bet ya didn't see that one comin', did ya?"

"Jake, are you okay?" Compa asked, concerned.

"Yeah…" affirmed Jacob with gritted teeth, "I'll be fine… Just give me a minute or two…"

Black Heart was confused by the entire spectacle. "… Is there something I'm missing?"

"It's nothing!" Jacob quickly said. "Just get on with it…"

"… Okay then."

* * *

><p><em>Surprisingly, Blanc's childish attempt to fluster Vert actually worked for a moment. "Wh-?! Breasts are symbolic for both maturity and fertility. The size of my bust equates my aptitude as a goddess." Then she smirked, so the fluster attempt was nulled and voided. "With that logic, it could be said you and Neptune are the least… fitting."<em>

"What?!" Neptune cried out indignantly. "Oh, that does it! I am so giving Thunder Tits a piece of my mind when I meet her!"

_Yeah, show her a thing or two! N-Not that I'm saying you're a good goddess or anything. M-Moving on! As usual, Blanc's massive switch was flipped and she was really mad. "The hell's that? Listen to that crap, talkin' out yer ass. I'll kill you! Die!"_

_Blanc, when in HDD, used a massive axe in combat. It was heavy and powerful yet she was rather slow with it. That is, she's slow by a goddess' standards. By human standards, she's fairly quick. That didn't help against Vert though, as she's the fastest of all of us, so most of her attacks were dodged. However, Vert did have to parry from time to time and Blanc's powerful attacks were more than enough to break her guard. Nevertheless, Vert's defence was never fully broken, even after Blanc pulled out her much faster gun and opened fire._

_I remember this all clearly because… i-it was very embarrassing to call them goddesses as I am. I-It wasn't amusing at all, I swear. "This is nonsense," I said. "We can't afford to waste time berating each other like this. We're nowhere near settling this."_

_The one to answer me was you, Neptune. "We'll settle this just fine, even if you hadn't brought it up. But the result won't be what you hoped for."_

_I smirked. "You really are completely different when you've activated HDD. I kinda like it. It makes me want to try even harder!"_

_Apparently, Vert and Blanc settled their little dispute while I wasn't looking because Vert answered me. "True. It has been eons and we've only come to a stalemate. Surely you're not implying you've been slacking off?"_

… _Ugh. "That's not what I meant!" I said back. "I wasn't even talking to you. Nevertheless, we've come here for a fight, so let's keep fighting!"_

_Vert just smiled. "Come now. Isn't this getting a bit sterile? Let's think carefully for a moment. About one another. This is all for the people in the human world below. Settling this matter is also for their sake."_

"Seems like Lady Green Heart's got the people at the front of her mind," IF commented.

_Hmph. The only reason she's trying for a peaceful solution is because she's lazy. She got bored of the fighting and wanted out. Besides, even if she was being truthful, she's way too idealistic. So I said to her "Your point? You think we can settle it in one day, just like that?"_

_As it turns out, her point was, and know that she said this with a "winning" smile, "What I mean is, why don't we work together for once?"_

_Let me tell you now that that was the most mind-bafflingly stupid thing I've ever heard for all my years as Lastation's CPU. Keep in mind that I've hung out with Neptune._

"Hey!"

_I made sure Vert knew her idea was idiotic. "Heh, like a happy family? Please, that idea won't solve anything. Competition drives Gamindustri forward!"_

_Now, like Vert, I didn't hold Blanc in very high regard, given her lacking maturity. However, I will admit I was surprised with her level of judgement when she said "But the way things are now are failing to work as well. Why not erase just one of us?"_

_Vert, however, was not surprised. "Hmm, sure. That could be the catalyst of change we have been searching for. To make it easier later on, we should rid ourselves of the one we find difficult to fight, not someone we personally despise."_

_Blanc seemed to agree. "Well, I hate you. I'm the one who'll finish you off, so you're staying for now."_

_So did I. "The way you lose your composure gets on my nerves. I'd love to teach you discipline with my own hands."_

"_I don't have anyone in particular but, if I had to choose somebody, I suppose I'd aim to take you down," Vert said to me._

_I had no problem with that so I said "Sure, I guess. We don't really have anything in common. Then, who's left?"_

_Only after I asked that question did the others and I realise the answer._

_You, Neptune, were very annoyed. "You can't just decide this without gathering my opinion as well, can you?"_

_Blanc looked very pleased with the verdict. "Neptune, be honoured. You've chosen to signal the beginning of the end of the Console War."_

"_Don't be foolish." Defiantly still, you drew your katana and readied your stance. "Well, it doesn't matter. Even against the three of you, Neptune does what you all don't!"_

"Lame," commented Jacob.

"Hey, I think that sounds pretty cool!" Neptune argued.

_Anyway, "Do as you wish to me. I'll counter your attacks a hundred-fold!" you finished with a confident smirk on her face._

_Still, Vert wasn't even paying attention. "There's little point to this if she wakes up and fights us again. Why don't we simply exile her to the world below?"_

"So you intended to toss her over anyway," Jacob accused.

… _Yes. However, I'm not finished._

_Blanc asked "… We ain't gonna kill her?"_

_Neptune, you said "As blunt as ever. If you could, can you save this discussion for after you win against me?"_

_Vert ignored you again. "I'm not sure if we can kill her or not," she answered Blanc, despite all four of us having spent eons trying to kill each other. "This is a first for us. The former goddess taught us nothing of this situation."_

_This only annoyed you more. "Did you just ignore me again?" you asked. "Yeah, yeah you did. You'll regret this!"_

_Then I answered you. "And so will you! You said we three don't stand a chance against you? Well, we're going all out!"_

_And that signalled the start of the battle. After it-_

"Wait! How'd the battle go?" Neptune asked.

_For goodness sake, it was a turn-based fight. Use your imagination. Point is we crushed you with our combined power. At the end of the battle, you were a tired mess who could barely keep herself afloat._

_Just for kicks, Blanc smashed you into a pillar with her axe. "What was that you were saying about doing what we all don't, huh? Wanna say that again, bitch?"_

"_Calm down, now," said Vert. "She's in no position to fight back. Let's just exile her now."_

"_And then what?" said Blanc._

"You know, there are other words you can use aside from 'said'," Jacob advised.

_Don't care. Anyway, Blanc said "And then what? She'll just come back and fight us again, making all this pointless. You said it yourself. I don't know what you think your pansy-ass exile will do but, if one of us is going to become the True Goddess, the other three have to die. There's no way around that."_

_It was painful but it was the truth. I don't know if Vert thought the same thing because she was still as annoyingly calm as ever but… I think she didn't want to agree with her. "If she is sent to the human world below, we can change this while she struggles to return. This is not about killing, this is about changing the way things are. To have one True Goddess doesn't necessarily mean only one goddess can exist."_

_Blanc then said "That's bullcrap and you know it! You may be ch-chickenshit but this has to happen! She dies, no matter what!"_

_Blanc was determined to kill you, Neptune, but she was interrupted when she brought up her axe. I rushed forward to stop her, but… but…_

* * *

><p>All of a sudden, Black Heart's hand moved over where her heart would be and her eyes shut all of a sudden. She looked as if she was holding in a great pain.<p>

The party was definitely concerned.

"Black Heart, are you okay?" Jacob asked.

Black Heart took another drink of water from her glass and set it down on the floor. "I-I'm fine… It's just… what happened next was not very pleasant at all. No, Neptune, you didn't die. At least… now I know that for sure."

Without a word, Neptune stood up, much to the surprise and confusion of her comrades. Black Heart was also confused as Neptune walked to her with an unusually solemn expression on her face.

The most surprising thing to happen was Neptune wrapping her arms around Black Heart and bringing her in close for a hug.

"Hey, don't be so down in the dumps," Neptune said while resting her head on Black Heart's shoulder. "I'm still bouncing and breathing, alright?"

Slowly, Black Heart's arms wrapped around Neptune.

"... Uh, whatcha doin'?" Neptune asked, slightly confused.

"I'm... sorry..." Black Heart apologised in between her sobs. "I didn't mean to... I didn't want to, but..."

Neptune pulled away and gave the other CPU's shoulders a firm pat. "Tell me later. First, we gotta know what happened." She then sat down next to her. "Now, what happened with Blanc?"

Black Heart seemed to regain her composure. In fact, she seemed to be in higher spirits altogether. "Okay... Well, I was going to stop her, but... I was interrupted. We all were."

"By what?" asked Compa.

Black Heart looked directly at her. "A dragon."

* * *

><p><em>It came from... I have absolutely no idea, to be honest. One moment, I was about to interrupt Blanc. The next... the ground shook. And then the dragon was there. It was huge. And... it had yellow and dark purple scales, layered like petals on a rose. It had blood red horns and claws. It had two wings, both of which were larger than its entire body.<em>

_None of us needed to think twice before we got into formation ready to battle it. Turn-based style, mind you, so it was hardly exhilarating. Still... it overwhelmed us. We had the initiative and we unleashed our most powerful attacks but we couldn't stop it. It was far too powerful. I had never before met a foe that could take on three of Gamindustri's goddesses and win so definitely._

_I shouted at it "What are you?!"_

_It looked at me and sneered. "I am the end of this world. Flee now, CPUs, and you will be spared of my fire," it said to me in a very deep voice._

_Us CPUs, as you probably expected, did not flee. Even with our hit points so low, we stood up again. Blanc shouted back "Like hell! I'll splatter you all over the floor!"_

_Vert joined in. "Quite right. We are the guardians of Gamindustri. We vanquish evils greater than you more often than we bathe."_

_I think the dragon smiled. "Foolish CPUs…" it said before flapping its wings and going into the air. "It matters not. In the end, your heads will be at the heels of Overlord Momus."_

* * *

><p>"Did you just say Momus?!" Jacob shouted as he stood up quickly.<p>

"But I thought Histoire said that Momus didn't exist!" Nisa cried out.

"… Who is this Histoire?" inquired Black Heart.

"She's…" Jacob started before he stopped himself. "No, I'll tell you later. Tell us what happened with Momus."

"… Very well."

* * *

><p><em>With one mighty flap of its wings, Momus flew straight up into the air. We braced ourselves for whatever attack may come next but we didn't know that it would shoot a massive purple beam directly at the ground in front of us. Not only did it shake us off balance, it destroyed the platform. This was a huge problem because Celestia floats way above Gamindustri.<em>

_Fortunately, as we could fly, we saved ourselves from the crumbling floor with ease._

… _But Neptune was unconscious._

* * *

><p>Black Heart paused. The way she kept herself from looking at any one face of the party did not go unnoticed.<p>

"So Neptune fell because of Momus?" Jacob asked.

"Yes," answered Black Heart even as she kept herself from looking at him. "In the end, we had no choice but to flee to the world below."

"… You're hiding something," Jacob accused.

"What?" Black Heart was shocked by the accusation. "Wh-What would I be hiding? I never tried to catch Neptune or anything!"

"And there we go." Jacob sat back down, content with the pseudo-confession.

Slowly, Black Heart realised the trap she had fallen into. "… Curses."

"You tried to catch me?" Neptune quickly hugged the other CPU again but she did so playfully this time. "Aw, you'd make the bestest friend ever!"

"I- tha- I- eh- ih- uh…" Black Heart seemed to have gone into overdrive with how she kept tripping over her words and her face seemed like it had been sprayed with red paint.

"So why didn't you catch her in the end?" IF inquired.

That question knocked Black Heart out of her flustered state. Neptune could feel the awkwardness and pulled away as well.

"… I tried but Vert stopped me," she answered. "We argued but, ultimately, we agreed that there was nothing we could do. We had to go." The smallest traces of a smile could be seen on her face as she looked back at Neptune. "Neptune… it's good to see that you're okay."

A brief pause made itself present.

"… So that's it?" asked Jacob.

"That's it."

Another brief pause made itself present as the party took this all in. Compa and Neptune even let out small breaths.

"So… Momus apparently exists," Jacob reiterated. "Even though Histoire said he didn't."

"You mention her so much. Who is this Histoire?" inquired Black Heart.

Compa decided to answer. "Do you remember when we told you we were on an important mission to find four Key Fragments to rescue a McGuffin person? Well, Histoire is that McGuffin person. She claims to be 'the world's everything' although we still don't really know what that means."

Jacob threw in his two cents worth. "She was locked up by a witch named Arfoire. Apparently, she has a tome that has everything about the world in it. Except for me, mind you. I'm from another world."

"Wait..." Something just clicked in IF's mind. "If she didn't know about you because you're from another world, does that mean Momus is from another world?"

The implication hit Jacob like a hammer. "... Holy cow, you may be right. Momus is actually a magic dragon alien."

"If I may ask, how exactly are you communicating with this Histoire if she is sealed away?" Noire asked.

"Oh, me, me, me!" Neptune excitedly answered her. "Ya see, Histy uses telepathy to contact me! It went a bit like this…"

* * *

><p><em>I was in a dream, right, and there was darkness everywhere! Well, there were a few clouds or whatever but it was dark and I was glowing.<em>

"_Egads!" I screamed. "What infernal being has summoned me to this location?"_

_Suddenly, I heard a voice from all around me. A kind, gentle, motherly voice! "This being be not infernal, my dearest Neptune!" it said to me. "I, the super lovely but not as lovely as you Histy, have called out to you in your dreams to beg for your assailants!"_

_How surprising! "Sweet pop tarts and a pencil sharpener! How could I possibly be of help to you?"_

_And then she answered thusly: "Neptune, I am your mother! Your cruel, wicked father has locked me away! I-"_

* * *

><p>"Okay Neptune, that's enough," said Jacob as he and IF moved a hand over Neptune's mouth to shut her up.<p>

"Agreed. That's all I needed to know," said Black Heart. "So she's been communicating to you like this throughout your journey?"

"Nah, only here and there," Neptune answered. "I can't really talk to her when she doesn't start talking to me. She helps out by giving us exposition when we need it."

Black Heart nodded. "Ah."

Nisa had another question. "Lady Black Heart, I must ask you about this 'former goddess'. Who is she?"

"Ah, right. You see... Well, this may surprise you but we goddesses were not born. Rather, we were made by the former goddess to manage the four landmasses in her stead. Throughout our... let's just call it our 'infancy', the former goddess taught us how to rule our landmasses and general goddess things."

"Oh, I see." Nisa replied in understanding.

Neptune tilted her head to the side in thought. "I think I remember Histy telling me somethin' like that in my dream..."

* * *

><p><em>It was like-<em>

"Neptune, no. Please," Jacob cut in.

_Aw, you're a big poo._

* * *

><p>"Excuse me but how did the Console War start?" IF inquired.<p>

Black Heart seemed hesitant to answer that question. "... It was an ideological issue. One day, the four of us came to believe that the landmasses would be better under the rule of just one goddess. Now, we weren't exactly on the best terms before the war but we mostly kept whatever hostility we had under wraps and we at least interacted civilly."

"Hey, what about me?" Neptune leaned towards Lastation's CPU. "I'm as friendly as a bee that drank a love potion! A demon that got hugged by a puppy that got thrown at it by a van driver! Who could hate pretty lil' me?"

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "That actually makes a lot of sense. Neptune is pretty much only hostile to people that deliberately antagonise her."

"Well..." Again, Black Heart found herself pausing to consider her words carefully. "Neptune, the truth is that... out of all of us, you were the least liked." Black Heart regretted saying that after she saw the confusion in Neptune's face but she continued. "You're much better now but, before, you were unbelievably arrogant. I lost count of how many times you kept saying you were better than Vert, Blanc and I. You were boasting constantly and you were also very dismissive of us. It's no wonder Blanc took plenty of glee in thrashing you, especially considering the way you'd brag about your HDD breasts to her."

Jacob was also confused. "Well, if she was that intolerable, why do you consider her such a close friend?"

"Well... That's because, while she was incredibly annoying, she wasn't trying to be. It was sort of something she just did. The truth is that she was trying to get closer to other people but she didn't know how and Vert and Blanc just thought of her as brash and obnoxious."

"They were and still are entirely correct," IF butted in.

"Hey!"

Black Heart continued on. "While she isn't exactly... restrained, she was worse before with her smugness taking precedence over everything else. Regardless, she still tried her best to make friends, even if she went about it entirely the wrong way. She eventually latched onto me and tried to make me her friend, gloating about how much stronger she was than me all the while. Still, I warmed up to her... slightly. I never told or showed her that I considered her a friend mainly due to her ego but I did treasure her."

"But you still tried to kill her," Jacob brought up.

It served as another heavy blow to the CPU's heart. "... That's right. I... didn't want to. Still, Gamindustri was and is still more important. I may not have wanted to kill the other goddesses but, if anyone should lead Gamindustri to a bright, unified future, it's me. That's what I..." A sigh, "... believed."

Although she said this, it was easy to see that she wasn't into it. The party most certainly did and they didn't have anything to say.

"... Well, what about now?" asked Neptune.

"Huh?" Black Heart turned to her purple-haired friend.

"What do you think of me now?"

Black Heart blinked several times. "... Oh! Okay, um... You're definitely much better now. You're a lot more selfless now and..." Here is where she blushed in embarrassment but smiled a bit despite her best attempts to not to, "... never would you have hugged me in such a tender way."

Neptune smiled, although she clearly wasn't happy yet. "So... are ya still gonna try and kill me?"

And Black Heart's warm smile was gone and her blush wiped clean. What used to be a combination of sweetness and embarrassment was now a combination of shock, regret and hesitation.

Neptune's smile began to falter. "Well? You're not, are ya? … Blacky?"

"Blacky" diverted her gaze from Neptune and looked at the floor. Again, an immense aura of sadness could be felt around her. She didn't answer Neptune. She didn't have the strength.

Jacob clapped his hands together, catching the attention of everyone in the room. "Well, we've learned that a dragon is terrorising Celestia, the dragon is Overlord Momus and the Console Wars were about who would rule the world." Jacob extended a hand towards the CPU of Lastation. "Thanks again, Black Heart. I think that about covers everything we wanted to know."

Black Heart was mildly surprised at the gesture but she shook his hand regardless. "I'm glad I could help," she responded before taking her hand away.

Jacob looked at the other members of his party. "Now, does anyone have any other questions?"

"I don't," spoke up Nisa as she raised her hand, "but I would like to address the issue of Avenir."

Jacob's eyes widened for a bit before he facepalmed. "Damn it, I can't believe I completely forgot about that."

Black Heart's eyes rolled. "Oh for the love of... Is this another complaint about how they're getting too good? Because I get a lot of those and each time I've answered that there's nothing I can do about a company that's immensely successful. Given the machines they've rolled out over the years, I don't even want to."

"Black Heart, we have reason to believe that Avenir is bribing the Parliament," said Jacob.

Black Heart's exasperation was then taken over by concern. "Wh-What?"

IF stood up, as did Nisa. "Throughout our missions on this landmass, we learned that Avenir and the Parliament are cooperating. As you know, the Parliament works on a system that means it needs majority votes to do something. Avenir, standing for most of Lastation, pretty much has control of these votes and the Parliament can do pretty much whatever they want as long as Avenir controls the votes and supports them."

"This leads to the Tech Expo. Black Heart, is it true that the theme of the Tech Expo is decided only on the year it's being held?" Jacob asked.

"Y-Yes, that's right," Black Heart affirmed.

Jacob crossed his arms. "Well, that's the thing. As you might remember, the Expo was cancelled not too long ago only to be back on again mere days afterward. However, this time around, the Expo is being sponsored by the Parliament rather than the Sanctuary and the new theme was 'weaponry'. Now, this is the weird part. You see, not long ago, we rescued an Avenir employee from a dungeon. Not only did he know about the Expo's reopening before it was even broadcasted on the radio, he claimed that Avenir's entry into the Expo had been worked on for three years, way before the theme was announced."

"Lady Black Heart, Avenir's rigged the Tech Expo with the Parliament!" Compa cried out.

Black Heart did not answer right away as she was thinking about these accusations. "... You're certain that this is the result of corruption?"

"Black Heart, I also thought once upon a time that it was unfair to call Avenir evil just because they were better than everyone else. However, my comrades and I cannot let this go. Unfortunately, we have no power to do anything, but you do." He held his hands in a praying gesture and looked at Black Heart with an unusually pleading face. "Black Heart, for the sake of Lastation, please investigate this and deal with it."

Black Heart looked the slightest bit angry as she closed her eyes.

"Do it for me, pleeeease?" Neptune begged.

"Oh alright, fine!" Black Heart shouted. "Very well Jacob, I will look into this. However, please keep in mind that I do not approve of my employees being accused of corruption."

"Fair enough," answered Jacob.

IF pulled out her phone and began pressing buttons, presumably to start typing notes. "So, we know about the Console War, Momus, Black Heart's ties with Neptune and we've talked about Avenir. Is there anything else we need to talk about?"

Jacob looked at Neptune, who shook her head. Compa looked at Nisa, who also shook her head. Then the two duos looked at each other, stayed that way for a moment and then looked back at IF.

"I guess we're pretty much done here, then," said IF.

"In that case..." Black Heart pushed herself off the bed, "... I best get going."

IF stopped typing on her phone. "Wait, what about your injuries?"

"I can worry about those back at the Basilicom," Black Heart answered. "After the potions Compa gave me, the worst is over. At the very least, I can walk just fine again. Now, if you'll excuse me..." Black Heart made her way to the door, "... I'll be going now."

She opened the door and took one step into the hallway.

"Wait!" shouted Neptune, causing Black Heart to look back. "Sorry about me being so forgetful but could you tell me your name, please?"

"Oh, right." Once again, Neptune had brought happiness to Black Heart. "It's Noire," she responded with a smile.

"Noire? Awesome!" Neptune cheered. "So, you're not still thinking about killing me, right?"

Once again, Neptune managed to rid Black Heart's face of the happiness it acquired moments ago. With artificial conviction, Noire faced away from the party.

"... Noirey...?" Neptune meekly called out.

"Neptune..." Noire began. "Don't misunderstand. I truly do think of you as a friend and I wouldn't trade the time we spent together for anything. However, the many people on Gamindustri mean more than three goddesses. If I am to kill my best friend to bring peace... so be it."

Neptune looked like she was about to cry. "But Noirey..."

"Excuse me, Noire?" Jacob asked for her attention.

Noire didn't look back but a slight movement of her head indicated she was listening. "What is it?"

"If it's not too much trouble, I have some advice for you."

Despite Noire's back facing the party, Jacob was pretty much certain she just rolled her eyes. "And what kind of advice would that be? If it's from a human to a CPU that guards a world he knows nothing about, I'm sure it's incredibly valuable."

Regardless of her sarcasm, the other party members were intrigued with what Jacob had to say.

Jacob took a small breath. "Don't be a tough leader. You're strong enough to be gentle."

For a moment, it felt like time had stopped. At once, all of Noire's negative emotions- exasperation, anger, sorrow and doubt- rolled off of her. She turned around to look at the male. Defining what her look was at that moment was impossible but it was not one of hostility.

"... Hm. That certainly is... unique advice," she responded. "Not that I agree with it. B-But I'll definitely think about it."

Jacob smiled. "That's all I want."

Neptune cheered up as well. "Bye, Noirey! See ya later!"

The black-haired goddess gave one last friendly smile. "Farewell," she said before she descended down the hallway.

IF shut the door. "Well, that's that."

Neptune yawned and rested on the bed she shared with Nisa. "Whoa, that was a doozy. I think I'm gonna nap here..."

Jacob yawned as well. "I think we all deserve a break. It's been a pretty big day and..." After sitting down on his bed, his train of thought seemed to vanish. "... Well, I'm tired."

Compa seemed to be uncertain of something. "So what do we do next?"

"Hm..." IF thought her answer through. "Well, we've done pretty much everything we can about Avenir. Now it's in Bla- I mean, Noire's hands. Also, we're still no closer to finding the Key Fragment. Really... there's nothing left for us to do here."

Jacob looked at her. "You think we could go to another landmass?"

IF got her phone open. "Pretty much. Let me just check which one to go to..."

Nisa sat down on the edge of her bed so as not to agitate Neptune. "So I take it we're not doing anything else for the rest of the day?"

"By all means, if you find a way for us to be productive, let us know." IF waited a couple of seconds for her phone to load the information she needed. "... And Lowee is about three days away. We'll leave then."

Jacob smiled. "Perfect. Three days of relaxation and sleeping for us."

"That's what _you_ think!" shouted Nisa as she opened the window fully and stepped back from it. "I, on the other hand, must continue to protect the citizens of Gamindustri as its heroine of justice!"

From the other side of the room, Nisa dashed at full speed through the open window and slid through it easily. "See you all lateeeer!"

IF closed her phone. "So, who's up for a game of Duty Calls?"

* * *

><p>It took a while for Noire to return to her Basilicom. Any other day, she would have flown there. Any other day, she wouldn't have been overpowered, badly injured and just recovering from her wounds. At the very least, she could walk normally towards the gondola that would take her back to her residence on Lastation.<p>

The Moderator saw her at the door and might have looked inquisitive. "Lady Black Heart, may I ask why you are injured?"

"It was a very eventful quest," she answered. "To be honest, I'd rather not go into details."

"It took you a very long time to do that quest, m'lady," he continued.

Noire breathed out through her nose to calm herself down. "Again, I'd rather not go into details. I'd rather see my private doctor."

"He's not here at the moment although I'm sure he's already on his way here before you even called for him. Have a fine day, m'lady," he finished with a half-hearted salute.

The doors were opened to allow the CPU access back inside. However, she hesitated at the door.

The Moderator noticed. "... Is something wrong?"

Again, Noire didn't respond right away. "... It's just been a rather eventful quest. I just... want to rest and think about things."

"I see," responded the Moderator rather indifferently. "By the way, can I have my phone back?"

The CPU froze as a memory she threw away immediately decided to jam itself in the forefront of her mind.

* * *

><p><em>You probably would've guessed that the goddess of Lastation decided to activate her HDD in order to travel to the dungeon that Neptune needed "rescuing" from. Indeed, you'd be correct. With an unholy impatience and a flash of light, Black Heart took flight and zoomed across the air towards her destination.<em>

_"Kono seka-"_

_That was as much as the ringtone could get out before Black Heart threw the phone away in surprise into the yawning cloud-veiled void below._

* * *

><p>The Moderator let out a disappointed sigh. "On the bright side, I won't be nagged by texts from my dog to pick up jewels until I get a new phone."<p>

His CPU looked back at him. "... You live in a very interesting household, doorman."

"Indeed I do," he answered, not bothering to correct her on his title as she entered the Basilicom, closing the doors behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>Right. So, essentially, the CPUs were fighting so that one of them would become the True Goddess. Now, I don't exactly know what goes up in Celestia but you'd think they'd know how the process works and not hesitate to kill Neptune. After thousands of generations, they're finally figuring something out... and it turns out they don't even know what they're doing. They've been bashing sticks against each other since the dawn of time and they didn't even know what they were supposed to do next. Really good work there, girls. Also, good job on not maturing or getting any smarter after God knows how much time or stopping for one moment to go "Wait a tic..."<strong>

**By the way, if you could, please avoid any potential spoilers for anyone who hasn't played Hyperdimension Neptunia because I do personally know one of my readers who hasn't. Thank you.**

**Be sure to stick around for Chapter 19: The Adventure Continues.**

***PS: Oh crap, I completely forgot. "Don't be a tough leader. You're strong enough to be gentle" actually comes from Peter Cullen's brother Larry, a veteran of the Vietnam war. The exact wording is "Don't be a tough hero; you are strong enough to be gentle" and this is the advice Larry gave to Peter when the latter auditioned for the role of Optimus Prime for the original Transformers cartoon. I could've sworn I put a disclaimer here somewhere...**


	19. The Adventure Continues

** Review response time. Here we go:**

**Prinny Overlord: You ain't seen nothing yet. ESPECIALLY in regards to Blanc. Now, I'm a modest person but I think I've really outdone myself with what I'm going to do to her. Nothing bad, of course. I'd hate to have a foul mouthed goddess destroy me.**

**Wdog-999: Thank you. I try to be funny.**

**Crimsonheresy: Well, she doesn't really have a reason to. She might later when this story's going to take a turn from the established plot but you'll just have to wait and see. Also, good. Can't wait to read.**

**Red-Drive: I didn't actually remember. I only realised it when I watched Opening 2 again. What an oversight on my part. Don't worry: this won't happen again. And thank you. *sigh* I wish I was writing for these games...**

**godofmadness43: Of course you wonder. You're not writing this.**

**Saturn56: You'll find out.**

**TheZeroDarkness: Yeah... I believe I did at one stage. I have plenty of issues regarding the stupidity of the characters, the way Kubo keeps trying to force humour in when it's inappropriate and the way the series just won't die even after THAT event. Also, the new manga arc introduces mind-baffling levels of idiocy. Just look up the What An Idiot page for Bleach on TV Tropes.**

**Eisenfaust: Thank you. I aim to impress, after all. Also, remember that Noire was the narrator and it's entirely her opinion. As for mk2... well, it made me look back at the first game fondly. That's all I'm going to say about it.**

**Guest: Thank you very much. Oh, you never expected Hyperdimension Neptunia to be the way it was, hm? What were your expectations and how were they tripped over?**

**Zaralann: Thanks. You got anything else to say?**

**There's a bit of a shift in writing style in this chapter. I recently got into a roleplay and I'm beginning to see things a bit differently from a writing perspective. Let's see how this turns out!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19: The Adventure Continues<strong>

Jacob's household back on his world was still gloomy. Four days had passed since John, his father, last talked with the police and the atmosphere had only gotten worse. Outwardly, Zac, Jacob's older brother, was the least affected by it. Inside, he was as confused and scared as everyone else but he'd be the first to say that something definitely went wrong when worry for Jacob turned into hostility at everyone else.

"What are you doing at that computer?" John would ask Sharon in an accusatory tone.

"I'm responding to messages," Sharon would answer defensively.

"Do any of them talk about Jacob?" John would continue.

"No, they're about work," she would respond.

"Even though we still haven't found him?"

As you can imagine, these escalated rather quickly. They were not pleasant discussions at all and, while Zac did indeed dearly wish for his brother to be home again like everyone else, he was getting rather sick of all the shouting, disagreements and finger pointing.

One rather windy weekend morning, Zac found himself with a day off from work while his parents were off… somewhere. He didn't really remember. He decided to play on the PS3 that their insurance replaced after that whole explosion fiasco… God knows how that happened. Anyway, the game that Zac decided to play was Hyperdimension Neptunia. Even though it was broken and shattered, they found out that that was the game that was in there when it blew up. It blew up when Jacob was playing it. On the very night he disappeared. Even though he didn't really believe it, the gears in Zac's head were spinning nonetheless. Was this game somehow connected to his disappearance? Even if it wasn't, he was a bit curious about Jacob's tastes.

At that moment, Jacob's little sister Hannah arrived at the second floor. "Hey Zac," she greeted.

"Hey," he responded as the game started.

Hannah sat down on a nearby beanbag. "You're playing this again?" she asked in a normal tone, being used to this recent change of behaviour.

Zac shrugged. "Got nothing else to do."

"Well, you could play a game that's actually good," Hannah suggested.

Zac sighed. As an honest person who had no reason to lie, Zac would say that the game was not very good at all. He was, however, mindful of the fact that he mostly played Western games and this could be just a difference of opinion. "Well, I wanna see how this goes."

"Fine, I'll watch," Hannah answered with a roll of her eyes as she sat down on a beanbag.

As they talked, Zac was skipping the opening credits as he didn't feel like being reminded of the seemingly five million companies that worked on the game.

"Just so you know, I'm hopping on this when you're done," said Hannah.

"Well, I'm gonna be a while," Zac answered, not taking his eyes off the screen as he loaded his save.

**_CRASH!_**

"What the hey?!" Zac shouted as he jumped up in his chair in surprise, much like how Hannah jumped in her beanbag.

**Bang!**

It happened again, although it was nowhere near as loud this time and it was further away from them rather than right above them. After recovering from the shock, Zac put the controller down.

"What the hell was that?" asked Hannah, still a bit surprised.

"Dunno but it hit the roof," Zac answered.

"Huh…" Hannah breathed out. "Wanna check it out?"

* * *

><p>Going outside to the front yard, Zac found a tall steel ladder that was often used by John to climb up onto the roof whether to fix a window screen or fetch mischievous young boys who decided to push out a window screen to climb onto the roof to get a toy. Bracing it against their brick house, he climbed onto the first floor's roof to see what exactly hit their second floor's roof. There was a problem, however.<p>

"Aw, crud," Zac cursed as he realised what it was.

"What's up?" Hannah asked from the base of the ladder.

"I can't see the top of the roof. Can't figure out what's up there," Zac answered.

"Well, that sucks. What do we do now?"

Zac turned to his left in preparation to go down the ladder. "Eh, we'll tell Mum and…" But something caught his attention and stopped his sentence where it was.

His younger sister had an idea of what happened. "See anything?"

"Yeah, something's on the garage roof. Hang on a tick, I'm gonna get it and bring it back to you."

"Okay," responded Hannah as Zac traversed the first floor roof to the roof the garage. He made sure to stay steady and not go quickly so that he wouldn't fall off the sloped tin.

It didn't take him long at all to return to Hannah. "Hey," he called to her as he reached down with an item in hand.

"What is it?" Hannah took the item from his hand to find out herself. It was actually half of a broken item but she recognised it anyway. "… It's the top of a flip phone."

Zac came down the ladder. "I've got the other part here," he said once he was safe on the ground once more. He showed Hannah the part that complemented hers. "It was on the other side of the garage. Whatever happened, it came from the side, landed on the roof and then skipped onto the garage."

Hannah took his part and put the two side by side. Even though they were completely wrecked, she could still recognise that, together, they'd make up the top of a clamshell phone. That is, if they also had the other fragments that were no doubt scattered everywhere, not to mention the screen.

"Who would just throw away a perfectly good phone?" Hannah asked.

"I'd rather know who'd send it flying onto the roof of our house."

* * *

><p>That was three days ago. Right now, the party back on Gamindustri was enjoying themselves having lunch at a crepe shop that was very close to the motel.<p>

"Jake, you're eating way too quickly," Compa warned the teen, ignoring her butter-sugar crepe for the moment.

"Let him be, Compa." IF, unlike the other party members (except for Compa), was enjoying her custard crepe slowly. "At the very least, he's going slower than Neptune."

Nisa swallowed a mouthful of crepe filled with spicy mince. "What about me?"

IF shrugged. "You're not eating as slowly but, at the very least, you're not Neptune."

"Actually…" Compa looked over in Neptune's direction, "… Nep-Nep isn't really herself today."

"Jeez, again?" IF also looked at Planeptune's CPU. "What's going on this time?"

Every party member was currently focused on the purple goddess. Against all the odds, she was eating her chocolate crepe at a normal pace. Well, a pace that was normal for regular humans. She wasn't paying much attention to her food, preferring to look… nowhere, really. The gears in her head were turning so noticeably that it was surprising that they weren't making any sound.

Jacob decided to provoke her. "Oi, Neptune, whatcha thinking?"

"Huh?" Neptune broke out of her trance to find Jacob asking for her attention. Upon realising this, her eyes widened and a blush developed on her face rather quickly. "Oh! Nothing! Nothing at all! Just tit for tat, this and that!" Then she made a fake laugh.

"What's really on your mind?" Jacob, as usual, pushed to the point.

"Aw!" Neptune groaned. "I can't tell you! It's too embarrassing!"

"… It's too embarrassing for you, the person who brought up monsters doing 'the thing' and making babies in dungeons," Jacob brought up.

"Wait, what?" IF almost didn't believe what she heard.

"Wait, what?" The same went for Nisa.

"Yeah…" Jacob turned to the two girls. "In the same dungeon where we met IF, Neptune thought that dungeons could be a monster breeding ground."

"… Neptune, that's disgusting and you shouldn't be thinking about that," said IF.

"Hey, it's perfectly reasonable," Neptune argued. "Nisa, help me out here."

"Well…" Nisa was on the fence. "I've kind of been stuck inside a monster's stomach once so my standards… aren't exactly just."

Before Neptune could answer back, IF's phone started ringing. The party was surprised by this and looked over IF's shoulders to see her message. Except for Jacob, that is.

"Chian?" Compa read the sender's name aloud.

IF sighed. "I know, Compa. I'm reading. Says she wants us for something right away."

"We know, Iffy. We're reading," Neptune cheekily responded with an equally cheeky grin.

IF's grip on her phone tightened somewhat.

"Okay, let's finish out lunches and then go," said Jacob before he resumed eating his chocolate crepe.

"Of course!" Nisa replied with vigour as she over-dramatically picked up her knife and fork. "My crepe will not eat itself!"

IF gave Nisa's crepe a side glance. "Given how spicy that thing is, I'm surprised about that."

* * *

><p>"Hey Chian," called Jacob as the party entered the mostly vacant restaurant. "Funny how we most of the time arrive when no one's here."<p>

"Oh, we're closed today," answered Chian who was standing at a nearby table. "Works for me because I need your help."

"Rest assured that you have our assistance. What troubles you?" asked Nisa.

Chian seemed to be thankful. "Ah, good. Well, just recently, I finished my test model of our showcase at the Expo."

"You're still going, even though the Parliament's running it now?" Compa asked with worry.

Chian understood the reason for her concern. "I can't back out since I've invested so much already. Not going is no longer an option. Besides, Lady Black Heart has the final say. The Parliament can't defy her."

Neptune was excited as she remembered a previously forgotten detail. "Oh yeah, Noirey's also gonna be there! This Expo's gonna be a blast!"

Even though she was a silhouette, Jacob could tell that Chian's disposition had changed. The rest of the party felt it, too. While Neptune was just confused, the rest of the party almost choked in the awkwardness that came from Chian suddenly turning to Neptune.

"… Who's Noirey?" Chian asked.

"… Oh crackers." Neptune realised she said something that she really shouldn't have said.

Chian's entire body turned towards Neptune. "You know Lady Black Heart."

"No, we just met her," Jacob quickly defended. "Sorry that we didn't tell you but please trust us that we had our reasons."

"I… believe that, don't worry." Although she tried to ease their worries, Chian's agitation still unnerved the party. "Did you at least tell her about Avenir?"

"Indeed we did!" answered Nisa. "She didn't believe us at first but she soon saw our righteousness and has set her sights on that evil company."

"That's actually a maybe," interrupted IF. "We don't know if she's actually going to help us yet but it's a definite possibility."

Chian could've sighed silently. "How'd you meet her, anyway?"

"A chance encounter," quickly responded Jacob. "Complete accident, really. She just stumbled across us in a dungeon and things kind of snowballed from there."

Jacob could still feel what most likely was Chian's suspicious gaze on him. "That's really it?"

Compa spoke up for him. "Chian, I can say that that is honestly what happened."

Chian sighed a bit more heavily than before.

"So, uh, Chian, what did you want us for?" IF asked, very eager to get away from the current topic.

It seemed to work as Chian's disposition suddenly snapped to surprise. "Oh, right. Anyway, since weaponry is the theme for the Expo, I want you four girls to work at my booth."

IF, not expecting such a request, instantly became flustered. "Wh-What?! No! Even if we could, I won't be a signpost for hormonal boys!"

The head of Passe raised her open hands. "Calm down, now. I just want you all to demonstrate the weapon's functions. But what do you mean by 'even if we could'?"

"I'm sorry Chian but we're leaving for Lowee today," answered Compa as apologetically as she could. "I don't think we'll be around for the Tech Expo."

"Aw…" Neptune hung her head. "And I was so looking forward to seeing Noirey again…"

"Hey, hey, don't worry! The Tech Expo's not even for at least a month," reassured Chian. "I wouldn't have called you here if it was right around the corner."

Jacob crossed his arms. "Then what do you need us for?"

"Wait right here. I'll get it for you." With that, Chian disappeared into the hallway.

During her absence, Nisa sneezed.

"Bless you," said Jacob, Compa and IF.

"Thank you."

And then Chian returned. In her hands, she held what seemed to be a grey grip for a two-handed sword complete with a grey circle guard.

"… What's that?" Jacob asked out of curiosity.

Chian then pressed a grey button on the side of the handle and the party could not have recoiled faster when, completely all of a sudden, a purple beam appeared completely out of nowhere and acted as the blade of the weapon. Chian spun the weapon around in her hand a few times for amusement before turning the blade off, throwing the grip into the air like a baton, catching it in a reverse grip and then turning the blade back on again.

"It's the test model for our weapon, the mech sword Armas," Chian declared proudly as she turned it off again and raised it towards the party. "I'm loaning it to you."

"Really peally?!" Neptune could not be more excited. Jacob could've sworn that Neptune took the sword from Chian with enough force to rip her arm off if she held on. "A retractable sword! And it's purple, too! Thank you so much, Chian!"

Suddenly, Neptune realised something and her excitement faded away. "Don't you need this for the Expo, though?"

Chian laughed. "You do know what a 'test model' is, right? The real deal's being made right now. What I want you to do right now is test the weapon and tell me if you find anything that needs improving, got it?"

"Oh, you want us to field test your sword?" IF reiterated as a question. "We can do that no problem."

"As for the booth work thing, don't worry about it too much. I just thought it'd be best to have experienced adventurers show off the sword," Chian explained. "Don't worry, though. I'll be fine."

"Well, we'll try and come back in time for the Expo," Jacob responded.

"Right," IF affirmed. "I'm actually interested in seeing the Expo. Until then, have fun dealing with Avenir."

"We'll try. Have fun in Lowee."

"We will. Thank you." Jacob and the party turned to go to the door.

"Wait."

At Chian's call, the party stopped and turned around out of curiosity.

Chian seemed to not want to say what she wanted to say but she did so anyway. "What are you doing here? Why are you jumping around the landmasses like this? What is with these 'top secret missions' of yours?"

The party members looked at one another as it to reach an understanding. Finally, Jacob took one step towards Chian. "The only reason they were secret is because your CPU was involved and we had no idea how you'd react to that. What we're doing is trying to save the world by gathering a Key Fragment from each landmass to release a MacGuffin person. That's pretty much all there is to it. We only engaged Black Heart because we thought she had information we could use. I swear that's it."

With no doubt, Jacob knew for a fact that Chian was looking right at him. She was analysing and gauging him to determine if he was lying or not. Jacob could feel the intensity of her stare even if he couldn't see it for himself but he still remained strong.

Finally, Chian crossed her arms and her posture was more relaxed. "Fine. That's really all I need to know."

"Chian…" said Compa.

"I'm fine," she responded before picking up a cloth and wiping a table. "Have fun on your quest."

"We'll keep in touch about your weapon," Jacob responded.

"Thanks."

The party felt very awkward but, as they had nothing else to say, all they did was leave quietly.

* * *

><p>Jacob and the rest of the party found themselves at the Sky Harbor once again. He didn't like how detailed it was before and time had not made it any sweeter. In the distance, he could see Lowee. Much like the other landmasses from before, it was floating earth topped with green grass. Lowee's uniqueness came from its snow-capped sky blue mountains which circled the landmass and its beige buildings. Also, above the buildings, there were three stripped spherical white balloons, one striped red, one blue and the last green.<p>

"At last, we have reached the Sky Harbor!" shouted Nisa as she punched the sky. "Onwards we go to Lowee, the land of White Serenity!"

"Let's go over the inventory one more time," advised IF. "Dogs?"

"Check," confirmed Jacob as he pulled out a random dog from the disc inside his disc cover. "All sixteen of them are in my disc. Except for ArfArf, who's with Neptune."

"Right. Food?"

"I've got it all." Compa pulled out an apple for proof and gave it to Jacob. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Jacob bit into the apple. "Another day, another dungeon," he huffed after he swallowed a piece of the apple.

"Clothes?"

"I've got them as well," replied Compa.

"And everything else?"

Jacob raised his hand slightly. "I've got it."

"Well, seems like we didn't forget anything. Let's move."

And the party stepped through the portal, turning into familiar blue data particles that drifted on like before.

* * *

><p>The party, to the surprise of absolutely no one present, found themselves in another cave. However, this one was different; it was better lit and its crystals were yellow. Jacob christened this dungeon "Cave #3".<p>

"You know something's wrong when you're presented with a dungeon as plain and boring as this and come out as thankful because it's not that dark," said Jacob.

"At the very least, I can see better in it," IF responded. "Not that that changes much but it's a start."

"Don't worry, my buddies. If it ever gets too dark…" Neptune pulls out Armas and dramatically extends the blade, "… I can light it up… huh?"

The party looked back at her. "What's wrong, Nep-Nep?" asked Compa.

"The sword isn't glowing. Shouldn't it be doing that?" asked Neptune as she pointed her sword at the party. As Neptune said, the energy blade wasn't giving off any light unlike most typical energy blades. It was just a conical beam, appearance wise.

"Oi, watch it," Jacob cautioned as he moved backwards. "And if it doesn't glow, all the better. That makes it all the more useful for stealth. Personally, I'm more worried about its cutting ability, considering it looks more like an icy pole than an actual blade."

IF took several steps forward and triggered a random encounter with a single Vorpal. "There you go."

"Ah, thanks. Neptune, if you please?"

At the opportunity of an experiment for her new toy, Neptune's eyes lit up. "Ooh, I've been waiting for this." Gripping Armas with both hands, Neptune rushed towards the unsuspecting monster. "I'll slice ya in two!" She removed one hand from the sword and brought it down on her cyan foe like a cleaver. It wasn't a one hit kill like her one-liner would have had some people believe but, as was always the case, that was only the beginning of her combo. She then sliced to the right, sliced upwards and then used both hands to finish off the Vorpal with a downward cleave, stepping forward with each attack.

"Yahey!" Neptune cheered as she span around on one foot and flashed her party a peace sign with her hand. "It ain't the best but it'll do!"

"Wait, what?" Jacob was confused and unimpressed at the same time. "That's it?"

Neptune was still in her victory pose but she looked at Jacob with confusion nonetheless. "… Whadaya mean 'that's it?' It sliced and diced that thingy, didn't it?"

"Yeah, but… it's an energy sword. A freaking lightsaber. It should cut much more than that," Jacob argued.

"A what?" IF asked about the word 'lightsaber'.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Never mind. What I mean is it's a laser as a sword. It should cut much better than that. It should be able to cut down steel doors. That's typically how anime works."

Neptune got out of her pose and looked at her sword more closely. "Well, it looks like it could cut steel doors. Just not monsters."

Then Neptune touched the energy blade.

"Neptune, don't touch it!" Jacob shouted as he sprinted forward to grab Neptune's hand.

"Ow! Hey, what's going on?"

IF and the others ran up to the two. "Jacob, what are you doing?" the speedster asked, incredulous.

"It's an energy blade…" Jacob trailed off as he inspected Neptune's hand. Surprisingly, it was still as pristine and healthy as it was before touching the blade. "… It's not dangerous?" Slowly, he relinquished Neptune's hand only to, with hesitation, tap the blade with his own. When he found himself not feeling any worse, he tapped it a few more times. Feeling safe, he then rested his hand on it. "It's not even warm."

"Is it supposed to be?" inquired the nurse.

"Well, that's typically the case for energy blades." Jacob took a step back and crossed his arms as he thought about this. "It doesn't give off light or heat, it's a retractable weapon that's most likely made from unbreakable energy… This may just be the best sword of all time. Apart from the cutting issue, that is."

"But its stats aren't even that good," answered IF. "We can buy better weapons than this and this is supposed to be the prototype of the Expo winner."

"Then we'll tell Chian that its stats need work when we call her next," responded Jacob. "For now, let's get through this dungeon."

* * *

><p>The party was rather overleveled for the dungeon so Neptune, IF and sometimes Nisa offed the monsters before they could even attack every single time they spawned. For Jacob and Compa, this made walking through the dungeon comparable to a rather noisy stroll in the park and not once was the male forced to stop eating his fruit. While Jacob still wanted to get out of the dungeon as soon as possible like normal, he was much calmer about it than usual.<p>

Having finally exited through Lowee's portal and arrived on the landmass, he had the strangest desire to go back into that dungeon. It might have been the falling snow.

"Holy moly, it's c-c-c-c-cold!" Neptune cried as she immediately held herself to keep herself warm but her clattering teeth made it apparent to her friends that it wasn't working.

"G-Goodness!" Compa mimicked Neptune's self-holding but she controlled her teeth to not chatter. "We need to get inside, quick!"

IF, however, was only fussed enough to pull on her coat a bit more. "It's not that cold. Get over it."

Jacob looked around his environment with interest despite being cold himself, something he demonstrated by zipping up his jacket and putting on his hoodie. "You know… it never snows like this back in Australia. Well, it does on really high mountains but never close to the ground like here."

IF looked at him, intrigued. "Wait, how do you know how the snow acts here?"

"I'm going to guess that snow's pretty much on every building and on every street?"

IF blinked in surprise. She certainly didn't expect that answer. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Lucky guess. Anyway, let's get into a motel. It is kind of cold out here."

"Not you, too…" IF groaned. "Is my entire team full of babies?"

"Don't fret, IF. I happen to like this weather!" Nisa declared. Indeed, she seemed to be the only one who actually enjoyed the snow and the cold despite the zipper of her jumpsuit being just below her bellybutton like always.

"M-M-M-M-My sister! How can you like this cold? I think I've got the frozen status ailment!" Neptune whined.

Nisa put on a knowing smirk. "It is simple, my sister. As Gamindustri's heroine of justice, it is my duty to seek out and destroy evil at every turn. What I like about Lowee is that the cold weather means I do not build up a sweat as easily, meaning I can fight without taking a shower for much longer than normal."

"Do you even shower?" IF asked. "I don't think I've seen you clean yourself once."

"How dare you!" Nisa looked offended as she pointed dramatically at IF. "I will have you know that purifying one's own body is as important to the heroine of justice as it is to everyone else and it is a ritual I perform on a regular basis!"

"Fine, fine!" IF surrendered. "I get it."

* * *

><p>Lowee was… eccentric when it came to its buildings. While expecting the brick housing was fair enough, it was highly unusual for them to be bloated in one area and thin in another like pears. Speaking of fruit, no one would ever have expected the houses to actually be modelled after fruit. On one street alone, there was a pineapple house, a pumpkin house and even two mushroom houses. It was like a Dr Seuss knockoff novel. Also, there was snow scattered along the light brown stone street in small piles and on top of many of the buildings.<p>

Jacob was completely bewildered. "What is with this place?"

"The consequence of relying on magic to build, I guess," IF replied.

That caught Jacob's attention. "Magic?"

"Oh, right, you don't know. Neptune, Compa, you two listen up as well. Unlike Lastation, Planeptune and, to a degree, Leanbox, Lowee focuses on developing magic rather than technology. It's less efficient than technology but it does allow for some unique developments," IF lectured.

Neptune was absorbed completely as soon as IF said "magic". "Whoa, really? So, Lowee is like a fantasy land? Does that mean I can use magic now?"

"No. Using magic is a practice that takes time. You can't just do it," IF elaborated.

Nisa chuckled. "Ah, that brings back fond memories. I remember first coming here and learning about magic before going to take on a monster. I decided to empower my Justice Kick with the power of fire to take it out. That was when I realised I couldn't actually do such a thing and I didn't defeat the monster in one strike as I desired."

Compa laughed slightly. "You must have a lot of interesting stories."

"Indeed I do!" declared the heroine. "But, before I tell you, let us find ourselves some beds."

"Okay! Now, where do we find a motel?" asked Neptune as she looked around.

"Over here." Of course, IF was way ahead of her.

The rest of the party walked up to IF and looked at the building. It was two stories high with red tiled roofs, red window frames and a red rounded double-leaf door. Two wide pillars supported the first roof which had a sign clearly saying "Motel" in bold, white letters. Truth be told, it wasn't even as big as some of the houses in that very street, making it not seem very motel-like at all.

"Looks a bit quaint but it'll do," commented Jacob.

IF pushed the doors open and lead the party inside. The reception area was rather plain, with yellow walls with white flower decals, a fireplace, six white chairs and a single counter being watched by one female silhouette receptionist who was next to a door that presumably led to the back of the motel. To spice things up, there was a large TV on one wall that was connected to a Nintendo Wii or whatever Gamindustrians called it and there was also a Wii Balance Board.

Upon being approached, the receptionist looked rather happy. "Hello and welcome to our fine motel! Are you hoping to rent a room?"

"Yeah, for just us five," IF answered.

"Make that six. We could get another party member while we're here," Jacob advised.

"We'll get another room if that happens," IF argued before turning back towards the receptionist. "Just five people."

All of a sudden, the receptionist seemed rather tense. "Uh… Unfortunately, we cannot fulfil that request. To its fullest."

"I knew it," said Jacob with a roll of his eyes. "There's always a catch."

IF groaned. "What is it?"

The receptionist swallowed to mentally prepare herself. "This motel only has one room. In addition, it only has three beds. Don't worry, though. I think you can all fit if you share."

Looking at the faces of the party members, the receptionist wished she had never said that or ever had to say that. Neptune, Compa and Nisa looked completely bewildered while Jacob and IF were utterly dumbstruck.

"… Three beds," Jacob repeated. "This is a motel in a place that gets a lot of adventurers and you only have _three beds._ And you only have _one room._"

"I'm sorry," the receptionist responded, "but you know what JRPG parties are like. They tend to only have three people in them."

"No they don't!" Jacob shouted. "They tend to have seven or eight people in them!"

It appeared that the receptionist sighed. "I am sorry sir but we only have one room and all that room has is three beds."

"And this is a motel?" Jacob critically asked.

"Mostly, only plot-relevant adventurers use it. You've played JRPGs before, right?"

Jacob covered his face with his hands and breathed out. He could not believe this.

IF took her turn to argue in his place. "While that makes sense for a JRPG, this is real life." She knew that was a lie but the receptionist didn't. "You can't tell me you think this is a good business practice to have."

By this point, it seemed that the receptionist became impatient. "Lady, this is the only motel in all of Lowee as you'd expect from a JRPG. If you do not wish to stay here, you are more than welcome to find another place to stay at."

Jacob and IF did not have anything to say to that. They looked at each other and then the rest of the party members to know their opinions. Neptune's cheeks were puffed, Nisa's face indicated she didn't like this either but there wasn't much choice and Compa looked to be in a state of calm surrender.

Finally, Jacob sighed. "How much?"

* * *

><p>"I still don't see why we pay when we sleep at a motel for the night," Jacob complained as he walked up the stairs. "I mean, can't we give weekly payments so that we're the only ones who can use the room? I'd hate to come back here after a hard day's work and find that our only beds are occupied."<p>

"I'm starting to get really annoyed at this JRPG logic," IF seemed to agree as they reached the door to their room. "This room better be worth it."

And then she opened the door.

It seemed that a good reason for the motel's less than normal size was because all the funds were allocated to this one amazingly decorated room. The floor was composed of black and white tiles with a beige and pink heart in each respectively and they were arranged in a diamond formation. The walls had plain black and white tiles arranged regularly but they were only two tiles tall. The rest of the walls were wood-framed windows through which the party could see the tops of the snow-capped mountains. In fact, the entire room was supported with wood that had vines of all things coiling around them.

If that wasn't enough, there was a strawberry-shaped light hanging by a vine at each corner of the room as well as the centre. At one end of the room that was opposite the door was a more intricately detailed window but with five strawberries above it. With all that considered, it was a bit surprising that the room itself was surprisingly empty. There was a piano with a fold-out three-panel mirror on one of the walls as if it was assumed that everyone who rented this room could play the piano and, true to the receptionist's word, there were only three beds but what beds they were. Shockingly, they all looked like vanilla-topped cakes and they had strawberry cushions on them.

"Cake beds!" Neptune shouted excitedly as she dashed like a madwoman towards one of them and leapt onto it. "So comfy…" she sighed contently.

"… I am certain this is not what it looked like from the outside," remarked Jacob.

"I… agree." Even IF was confused as she looked out the window. "And I'm very sure we shouldn't be getting this view from the second floor."

"And I'm very sure that this room, with all its wood, will come down in an instant if someone even lights a stove," Jacob added, placing a hand on the wooden supports.

Compa seemed confused as well but at IF rather than the room. "IF, didn't you come here before?"

"Yeah but I never really thought about it at the time," answered the brunette. "Everything about Gamindustri just seems… stupider than I remember. It feels like I'm going through it all again from level one."

"Iffy, the beds look like cakes!" Neptune pointed out to the brunette as she bounced excitedly on one of the beds. "This is so awesome!"

Nisa lied down on one of the other beds. "And so comfortable, too! I am so looking forward to tonight!"

"Not for long. There are five of us and only three beds. We're going to have to share," reminded IF.

Neptune and Nisa stopped being relaxed immediately.

IF turned back to Jacob. "And, before you suggest it, I am not sleeping on the floor."

"Wasn't even going to," responded the male. "It's a tile floor. I'm not going to force anyone to sleep on that. Maybe we should think about this later tonight. I think we should go to the Basilicom so we can plan our next move."

"That sounds like a good idea," said Compa. "We can also explore the streets at the same time and see if there are any arcades and restaurants that we can visit later."

Neptune pushed herself up from the bed. "That sounds awesome! Let's totally do that!"

* * *

><p>The idea turned out to be not awesome at all, at least for Neptune and Compa. After exiting the hotel, it took ten seconds for Neptune to complain that it was too cold and they had to get back inside before she developed ice powers that she really didn't consider worth being in the cold to get. IF told her to get over it and told Compa, who was also bothered by the cold although not as much, to just bear with it for a while longer. Jacob also had an aversion to the climate and brought it up a couple of times but was never as loud as Compa much less Neptune. Nisa, surprisingly, shared the same feelings as three of her compatriots, presumably because she wasn't as active and burning energy as she said she'd be doing.<p>

With the weather in mind, the party was very relieved to find that the Basilicom was on the main landmass for once and made their way to it.

"This Basilicom looks exactly the same as Lastation's and Planeptune's," Jacob brought up once they arrived. "And why isn't there a single bit of snow to be found?"

"And why is it still cold?" Neptune carried on.

"Let's get inside!" suggested Compa.

Compa, Neptune and Nisa rushed to the Basilicom's doors. At the doors was a male silhouette that looked exactly the same as the one that was at the Basilicom of Lastation. "Oh, hello," he greeted politely even though he seemingly wasn't expecting visitors. "Can I help you with something?"

"Please let us in!" Neptune shouted.

"O-Of course," responded the Moderator as he moved out of the way. "Please, go right in."

And so the three girls did with Jacob and IF not far behind them at all. Inside, the Basilicom looked exactly the same as Planeptune's and Lastation's. None of the party really cared enough to comment, all of them being too cold to care.

"Ohhhh…" moaned Compa as the party was inside the Basilicom with the door shut behind them.

"Even my burning heart of justice could not ignore how freezing that was…" Nisa groaned.

"It felt like my soul was getting sucked away in that snow…" Neptune added.

It was at this point where another silhouette that looked just like the one from outside approached the five of them. "Are you okay?" he inquired. "You girls hardly look layered enough to travel in the snow."

"They're just whining," IF answered. "It's not even that cold."

"Says you," chipped in Jacob who had taken off his hood and unzipped his jacket. "It was a bit chilly and I'm wrapped like a cocoon."

"It's so warm and cozy in here… I don't wanna go back to the motel! I wanna sleep here!" Neptune then turned to the silhouette. "So, anyway, do you know where we can find some Guard Vermins?" she asked, switching topics quickly like a champ. "We need to find a Key Fragment from here to save the world."

The silhouette was taken off-guard. "I believe Guard Vermins are extinct…" he responded, slow and unsure.

"Well, they're not!" Neptune answered. "We fought one before and it had a Key Fragment! We need to find the others, one from each landmass!"

The Basilicom employee remained professional despite Neptune's… outstanding testimony. "If you're certain of this, why not go to the Central Basilicom, Entremets, to learn more? This is only a local Basilicom."

"Wait, hold on, what?" asked Jacob out of confusion. "There's more than one Basilicom in Lowee?"

"That's right," confirmed the silhouette. "Unlike the other landmasses that only have one Basilicom, there is a local Basilicom in each of Lowee's cities. The local Basilicoms govern the areas they're in while Entremets manages all of those Basilicoms. Our CPU also lives there."

Jacob turned towards IF and Nisa. "Why didn't you two tell us about this earlier?"

Nisa, embarrassed, casually looked away and rubbed the back of her head while IF just rolled her eyes.

Neptune wasn't that concerned about them, however. "Oh, so we can go there and chat with the goddess about monsters?"

"Possibly." Reaching behind him, the silhouette pulled out a roll of paper and handed it to Neptune. "This is the map that leads to it. Be careful, though, as the roads can be quite harsh."

"Gotcha." Taking the map thankfully, Neptune then faced the rest of her party. "Alrighty, peeps! Let's head for Enternets!"

Jacob huffed and zipped up his hoodie again.

* * *

><p>Despite being called the "Central Basilicom", Entremets was actually on one of the floating islands surrounding Lowee, making it not central at all. As usual, the mode of transport was a gondola. This one was white with a yellowish-brown roof and a blue line running around the side, presumably to look like an idealistic small fairy tale hut. Inside, it didn't smell and the seats were cushioned so that was one heck of an improvement from Lastation's transports. Also, it was much warmer than outside. Aesthetics aside, the thing still functioned the same as the others, getting them to the dungeon like normal.<p>

"Brrrr! I think my butt's frozen!" Neptune complained once Jacob, IF and Nisa managed to get her out of the transport when it reached its destination. "Get me a fire! And some hot chocolate! And a blanket!"

"Neptune, it's not that cold. Get over it," IF responded. "Look, if it's bothering you that much, I'll let you borrow my hot pack."

Neptune looked back at IF with shock and horror. "What?! Hot pants? Here? This is supposed to be a magical fun land, Iffy! You don't bring hot pants here!"

"I said hot _pack,_ you moron," IF stressed as she pulled out a small black bag with "Hot pack" written in bold, purple stylised letters. "I got it and some other stuff from Planeptune before we left just in case we needed it."

"I can vouch for that, having been there at the time," Jacob spoke up.

"Now, make sure to trade it off every few minutes," IF advised the CPU as she handed over the item.

"Ah, okay. Got it." Neptune took the device from IF and held it close to her torso. "Compa, I'll give it to you next!"

"What? What about me, your dear sister?" Nisa asked in shock.

Neptune looked apologetic but she didn't regret her decision. "Sorry Nisa but Compa needs it more than you do."

"Th-Thank you so much, Nep-Nep!" Compa was very thankful.

"Can't you just warm yourself up with rigorous physical activity, anyway?" IF asked the blunette.

The heroine of justice looked the slightest bit embarrassed. "The fires of justice have to be burning first."

With his hoodie on, Jacob looked into the forest. It was all white. Everywhere. At some points, it didn't even seem like the snow's fault; he was reasonably sure that the wood of the trees and the foliage around were simply white by nature. Not that snow wasn't abundant; it seemed that getting around would be a royal pain given how high the snow had piled. There wasn't a single bit of ground to be seen underneath all of the snow.

"Well, I can't see a thing in this," said Jacob. "Also, I'm willing to bet our shoes and socks are going to be soaked after trekking through this snow. You're sure Entremets is on the other side?"

Neptune took out her map and analysed it thoroughly. "We got on car 6 and this is definitely a snowy forest and it's named 'Dis Snow Forest'… Yup, this has to be the place."

"Why would they build the Central Basilicom there?" asked Compa. "Shouldn't ordinary people have easier access to it?"

"It's the CPU's holy ground. Keeping it hard to access makes it so that idiots like Neptune can't just break in and destroy everything," IF explained.

"This is in spite of the fact that the other Basilicoms- which, by the way, have info that some people actually need- never needed to resort to such measures," countered Jacob.

IF opened her mouth to retort but, finding herself not wanting to, she closed it again. "That's a good point, actually."

"So we have a snowy forest as a dungeon for once," said Nisa. "This should prove to be a new experience for Jacob, Compa and Neptune."

Wordlessly, Jacob surprised his friends by activating his jetpack and rising above the trees.

"Jake, what are you doing?" Compa inquired.

"Figured I'd get some practice in," Jacob called back. "I'll cover you all from up here. By the way, there's a Basilicom in the forest for sure. It looks just like a regular Basilicom right down to not having even the slightest bit of snow around it so I don't know for sure if it's central or not."

"Alright then," IF returned. "Keep an eye out and tell us if anything happens."

"Got it."

Jacob stayed above the girls as they trudged through the snow. As he predicted, it was no small task for them. Their feet kept sinking into the thick white blanket of ice and they constantly had to exert great effort to lift their feet high enough to keep walking. Neptune had enough of it once she tripped.

"Ah!" she shouted before the front of her body planted itself into the precipitation. "Okay, I'm sick of this!" she yelled when she pushed herself out. "Let's head back. No Basilicom is worth this!"

"Neptune, don't worry," said Jacob. "There's a small cliff right ahead of you lot. You can just slide down and land on the path in front of it."

"Is that so?" Nisa helped up Neptune. "So there's no snow on this path?"

"Only a little bit. After this, it's smooth walking from here on out."

"Oh, thank goodies!" Neptune collapsed on Nisa when she was stood up. Thankfully, Nisa caught Neptune so that the both of them wouldn't end up in the snow again.

"You heard the man. Let's go," IF told her comrades.

True to Jacob's word, they came across an edge that they eagerly slid down in an attempt to get away from the abundant snow. The only party member not to land on their feet was Compa, who was helped to her feet by the party's CPU.

"Be careful, alright? Who's gonna heal us if our medic's too hurt to?" Neptune asked playfully as she handed the hot pack over to the nurse.

"Th-Thanks..." Compa stammered as she nervously took the heating device from Neptune's hands.

"I can't believe it! We're finally free of that snow!" Gracious for being on solid ground with nothing trapping her feet again, Nisa jumped up and down and ran on the spot, enjoying her newly found freedom.

Compa smiled at the heroine's enthusiasm but found something else that got her attention. "Whoa... It's so pretty!"

Compa and the rest of her party upon finding out what she was looking at except for IF and Jacob were quite enamored by what she saw. Unlike the sight that greeted them when they left the gondola, the sight that was laid ahead of them was rather colourful. By dungeon standards, anyway. Almost all of the snow in the area was piled on the sides, leaving the party a clear path. While there was snow on the path, it might as well have been a very long white carpet for all it'd do to the party's walking. Dead trees were also on either side of the path but there were also red-capped mushrooms around their roots and small patches of smal grass were sprinkled randomly around the dungeon floor. There were also collections of purple flowers here and there.

That was not all. Compa's standards weren't _that_ low. It was clear that someone was maintaining this dungeon because there were electric box lamps powered by possibly White Heart-knows-what attached to the trees that provided a pleasant yellow glow. As if that wasn't enough, hanging from trees that were on each side of the path were lines that held different coloured lights. With the snowmen built here and there, this dungeon was a festive one indeed.

Jacob decided to land next to the party. "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..." he sang softly.

IF looked at him. "Get a bit cold?"

"A bit," Jacob responded as he flexed his arms before looking around the snowy forest. "Have to say, this is somewhat more colourful than I thought it'd be."

The party advanced through the forest, taking in the lights and snowmen as they went, before going through a monster encounter. The challengers this time around were three snakes with cyan scales, white underbellies, blue tattoos, a red line going down their backs, a red fin crest on the backs of their heads, beady olive eyes, red fins next to their eyes and threateningly long red barbs on the ends of their tales.

"What are they?" Jacob asked as per routine.

"Do you even care?" IF asked.

"Now that you mention it, no, not really."

"I can't be bothered with this!" Neptune shouted, her agitation prevalent as she drew Armas. "Fine! I'll take you all out with my new super secret move!"

"Wait, what?" Jacob asked Neptune, surprised.

Neptune held her energy sword in front of her, its blade pointing skyward, with her eyes closed.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

Jacob was ignored as Neptune's eyes shot open, the mech sword was raised even higher and a fiery purple aura surrounded the cutting energy beam.

What happened next was... a bit hard to describe. That was because it was impossible to follow Neptune's movements with human eyes. She seemingly flashed across her enemies, inflicting major damage as she went. She then flashed across the enemies again. And again. And again. Each time, the serpents were raised higher and higher into the air. Finally, Neptune flashed to the ground but she quickly jumped towards her enemies again and attacked with one last powerful slash. Neptune landed on the ground good as new. The serpents dissipated before they landed.

The party was speechless.

Neptune grinned. "Hey, was that cool or what?"

"Ne... Wha... Hell... Neptune, what the hell was that?!" IF inquired.

"My sister, when could you summon forth such devastating power?" Nisa asked in awe.

"When the hell did you learn to do that?" Jacob questioned, still trying to get his bearings.

"Nep-Nep, that was so cool!" Compa cheered.

Neptune performed her signature victory pose of spinning around on her heel and giving her party a peace sign with her hand. "Tada! I learned it when I levelled up last! It's called 'Neptune Break'. I've been wanting to test it out forever. And did you see how cool that was?!"

"And how powerful it was," answered Jacob. "Hell, you could clear out an entire dungeon with that attack alone!"

Even IF smiled at the awe-inspiring power Neptune now had in her possession. "Well, that lightens our load. Let's go on."

* * *

><p>As it turns out, Neptune's Neptune Break could indeed clear out an entire dungeon alone. Every time a monster or a group of monsters spawned, Neptune cast Neptune Break and they were all dead. No one else even had the opportunity to attack. For Compa and Jacob, this was yet another pleasant stroll through the dungeon although Nisa and IF joined them in their small talk while Neptune mowed down the monsters like weeds until they reached the dungeon's exit.<p>

"So that's the Basilicom," stated Jacob to himself as the party exited the dungeon. "Well, let's see if it's Entremets."

Approaching the Basilicom's entrance, the party was noticed by someone at the door. That someone was a female silhouette that looked exactly like the motel receptionist. Seeing them, the silhouette turned towards them and gave a respectful bow. "Hello and welcome to Entremets. I am the Chamberlain of Lady White Heart. I must say, we haven't had visitors in a while. Did you need something?"

IF looked around the Basilicom. "So it is Entremets after all. I was expecting it to look different."

"We get that a lot. Well, whenever visitors arrive, anyway. Our goddess believed that it would simply be more efficient to have all Basilicoms the same. So, is there something you need?"

"Yes, actually," answered Jacob. "We'd like to meet with Lady White Heart if that's okay with you."

The lady grimaced slightly. "I see. I will notify her of your presence immediately."

"Uh, hold on." Jacob noticed her reluctance and was curious about it. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing. Just..." The Chamberlain sighed. "Lady White Heart has not been in the best of moods as a result of the monster attacks. She asks for a lot of time alone and I'm afraid that you may be denied audience."

"Oh, fair enough. Well, this is kind of urgent so, if she says no, please tell her we have this to say: 'We will take back what the Overlord has taken from you'."

Once more, Jacob found himself the target of four or perhaps five surprised pairs of eyes.

"I... see," the Chamberlain answered unsurely. "I will make sure that she receives the message. In the meantime, please come in and get out of the cold."

"Yay! Thank you so much!" Neptune cheered.

The woman could have smiled at Neptune before turning to the doors and opening them, allowing them all inside.

* * *

><p><strong>So I go to Dis Snow Forest to figure out what the dungeon looks like, right, and what do I see but a lamp that was floating in the air. Great job there, Compile Heart. Maybe we'll see the party leader float five feet off the ground in the next game.<strong>

**Anyway, the next chapter won't be coming about for a small while because my writer's muse has kind of taken a dive since my computer's gone kaput. Don't worry; I'm definitely going to upgrade it within the next few days. I found a friend to help.**

**By the way, if you can tell me if I did something wrong or I could improve in some area, feel free to tell me. I could use the help.**

**Now, keep wary for Chapter 20: Hostile Negotiations.**


	20. Hostile Negotiations

**Hello everyone. Hope you had a happy new year and a merry Christmas and that you enjoyed Hyperdimension Neptivity. Fun fact: even people who've only heard of the series enjoyed it when I showed it to them. Pretty amazing that even outsiders of the fanbase could have a laugh at it.**

**Also, it's come to my attention that I seem to be the only author on this section of the site that gets more than two reviews per chapter for everything he posts. With that in mind, I'd like to take this opportunity to encourage you all to read and review the other fanfics here in the Hyperdimension Neptunia section. Many of them are well written and they also deserve love and praise, moreso than I do, and some of them could also benefit from some honest and constructive criticism. Spread the love, people.**

**Speaking of which, let me return it:**

**Eyeshield: It was called "A Phantasmagorical Metamorphose" with the GM being an amazingly detailed friend of mine. She really raises the standards for writing and I'm now trying to keep up. Currently, the GM has also started another RP that I am also joining with much anticipation. Also, I've taken up reading Skulduggery Pleasant as I got the boxset of books for Christmas. The writing style's a bit basic and plain for my tastes but Derek Landy does know how to be entertaining. As for transports, all they have are "sky bridges". No, I'm not kidding. We went over this in Chapter 8: Five Day Skip: To Lastation.**

**crimsonheresy: Really now? Felt like we just went from one place to another. I guess that's what you get when the plot's progression is dictated by the plot rather than the characters. Anyway, keep it up and we'll see how it turns out.**

**Saturn56: As usual, wait and see. :p**

**Eisenfaust: Ah, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. **It's very good. **Look, if Bleach needs to take lessons from any anime series, it's Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann because that is how you do it. I'm not going to say any more because this is about my fanfic about I should be getting questions, criticisms and feedback about that. Regardless, I do like Gurren Lagann. However, keep in mind that Jacob is meant to be a pragmatic underdog and will not be loudly shouting his attacks or getting beam attacks the size of the moon any time soon.**

**TheZeroDarkness: I have plenty of criteria but, again, let's not get into that and discuss Hyperdimension Neptunia is Real! instead.  
><strong>

**godofmadness43: We've already seen Black Heart. Actually, we've read about her.**

**Saturn56: Yes it is. Again, wait and see. :p**

**Guest: Thanks. And that will be interesting irony, won't it?**

**Hydrocity3: Good to know I'm capable of being funny without even trying. In truth, I didn't even know when Neptune learned Neptune Break but I was informed that people managed to acquire it at the beginning of Lowee so I chose that time. I really introduced it because I'm getting tired of writing about inconsequential monster encounters and, now that I have Neptune Break, I have a shortcut. And I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by what I do with Blanc.**

**Wdog-999: As usual, wait and see. :p And I imagine a lot of things could go wrong, given something about Jacob that I make apparent in this chapter.**

**Prinny Overlord: All this and more will be revealed to you later.**

**Now, let us commence with...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20: Hostile Negotiations<strong>

Blanc, CPU of Lowee, was currently holed up in her private chambers. As the Chamberlain said, she was not in a good mood. She didn't really have a reason not to be, having been kicked out of her own home by a dragon that came completely out of nowhere and trounced three of the four goddesses of the world. Therefore, Blanc was trying to blow off steam by isolating herself in her chambers and reading her books. For maximum comfort, she enclosed herself with purple curtains and rested on the red carpet. She wasn't dressed very heavily at all, wearing only a short white sundress thickly lined with brown with white plus signs within it, a blue ribbon pendant with a white stripe and a white fabric wrapped around the lower part of her shin and tied with two diamond flaps extruding from it. Her jacket, sleeves, hat and shoes were all off to the side much like a variety of other books around her. There was no point wearing anything heavy if she was just relaxing on her own.

"Lady White Heart, some travellers are requesting an audience," called her Chamberlain, Financier, from outside her room's doors. "What would you have me do?"

Even though she was highly annoyed already, Blanc was not the kind to groan or make any sounds indicating her irritation. At least, not this early. "... I'm busy. Make them leave," she ordered with a quiet voice.

Financier, however, seemed reluctant to follow that order. "We've had fewer and fewer visitors coming due to the monsters. Perhaps we should try to be more welcoming..."

"... You actually believe my ability to protect has weakened due to wavering faith?" Even though Blanc asked that in her normal quiet voice, it was clear she felt insulted.

"A-Absolutely not!" Financier responded, flustered. "How could your protection ever weaken? Regardless, I believe these visitors have urgent business with you."

Blanc didn't believe that for an instant. She didn't know any travellers and, as far as she knew, there was no reason for any adventurers to visit her. "And what would that be?" she asked as she focused back on her book.

"One of them had a message. I believe it was... 'We will take back what the Overlord has taken from you'."

Blanc's dull navy blue eyes lit up in shock.

"My lady, do you know what that means?"

Lowee's CPU took a moment to find her words. "... I do." She used her book's red ribbon bookmark to mark her current page in her book before putting it down. "Give me a moment. I'll be out shortly."

Financier was confused but she didn't ask anything. "... I understand."

* * *

><p>The party was guided into the main room of the Basilicom by Financier. The only thing that made it different from the last three Basilicoms they visited was that it was slightly warmer which, after being in the snow, was enough to stop any and all of them from complaining. Jacob, Compa and IF sat in one row of seats and they were talking to Nisa, who was in the row in front of them but she was on her knees looking back at them. Neptune had gotten bored and was walking around.<p>

Financier had returned just as boredom was beginning to set in. "Lady White Heart has agreed to see you."

"Good," responded IF as everyone approached the Chamberlain. "Did you give her the message?"

"I did, actually. She seemed incredibly surprised by it. Do you know her personally?"

"No but we are involved in something that involves her in a way," answered Compa.

"I see... Well, I won't hold you up. If this is important, I better take you to her right away. Please follow me."

So the party did. As it turned out, reaching White Heart's room didn't take very long at all. Financier opened the door and allowed the party to enter the glass dome room of a goddess for the very first time.

"Those are very nice trees you have," noted Compa when she noticed the lush green trees that were right outside the room but still within the center of the very snowy forest.

"Thank you. Our gardeners do their best to maintain them." Financier stepped towards the statue and cleared her throat. "My lady, these are the adventurers here to see you. Their names are Neptune, Compa, IF, Nisa and Jacob." She then turned to the party and she could've looked worried. "Please, please, please... be polite." She then bowed in the direction of the statue and said "Excuse me" before taking her leave.

White Heart stepped out from inside the purple curtains and faced the party. Out of the six people in the room, she looked to be the youngest. Her sandy-brown neck-length hair was partly covered by a white cap with sky blue ruffles and a brown and gold under and centre piece. She also wore two white sleeves which were lined with thick brown fur and had a wide light blue stripe running down the sides, both of which were completely separate from the white brown fur-lined shoulder-less jacket she wore over her white dress, and white sandals.

Her suspicious eyes instantly locked onto a surprised Neptune. "Neptune... I should have known."

"A pleasure to meet you," greeted Jacob, not bothering to offer a handshake as he knew she was a bit sour right now. "I presume you're Blanc."

Blanc's eyes turned to Jacob, dropping the suspicion. "So you know about me. I guess Neptune talks about me?"

"No. Noire actually told us," he answered.

The white-clad goddess seemed the slightest bit surprised. "Why would she do that?"

"Well, Neptune has amnesia as a result of Momus knocking her off Celestia and Noire helped clear some things up. By the way, I'm from another world that Neptune fell into and I'm now travelling with her, looking for a Key Fragment from each landmass to rescue Histoire, a MacGuffin girl." Jacob left out the details of Gamindustri actually being a video game. The only reason he told Noire was because she needed to know how he knew about the Console War and her true identity. Blanc needed no such info as it was not relevant to what they were discussing right now. "Do you have any questions?"

Blanc didn't respond right away. Jacob probably should've held back a bit on that exposition dump. "... That sounds ridiculous."

"I know but I swear it's the truth."

"He's right, alright," Neptune vouched for him. "I fell through a roof and a floor and crashed into another floor. It really hurt! Then I met Jacob and then we went to Gamindustri and now we're fighting monsters and looking for Key Fragments."

Jacob continued. "I don't suppose you could help us out with that? Know where we could find a Key Fragment? Our only hint as of right now is that each one is guarded by a Guard Vermin. Do you know where we could find one in Lowee?"

Blanc's eyes reverted back to dull disbelief. "Guard Vermins are extinct, idiot. And, even if they weren't, I've never heard of a Key Fragment."

"But Guard Vermins aren't extinct," Compa answered. "We saw one in Planeptune's tutorial dungeon."

"This isn't Planeptune."

"But there's still a Key Fragment on each landmass," Compa responded.

"I don't suppose Lowee has any subplots that are in need of any resolution?" Nisa queried. "Any evil corporations? Dragons demanding maiden sacrifices?"

"I'm capable of running my landmass. Trouble like that doesn't exist here."

"That's nice," Compa answered. "It doesn't help us but it is good to know that everything's peaceful. Well, if you don't know where to find the Key Fragment or a Guard Vermin, Histoire also apparently said that they were guarded by 'strong monsters'. Do you know where we could find any?"

Blanc's eye twitched. "Your quest is a load of bullcrap. Stop wasting my time."

"Hey, now." Jacob stepped forward, having had his button pressed. "This is really important stuff, you hear? If we're going to drive Momus out of Celestia, we ne-"

"_Shut up, already!_" Blanc's stoicism had been shattered. "As a goddess, I can crush Momus without dragging stupid outsiders into it! I've never heard of your stupid Key Fragment and, as far as I care, it doesn't exist! Cut this shit out and get the hell out of my Basilicom _now!_"

Blanc didn't look at the shell-shocked party as she stormed back behind her purple curtains.

"... Well," said IF. "Alright then. Let's go, everyone. It's clear that this goddess doesn't feel like talking to us."

No one objected to that notion so they left. This left Blanc alone again.

"Finally! Damn it, she pisses me off," the short goddess growled as she picked up her book. She sat down and opened up to the pages that her bookmark was wedged between and began reading again.

"To shout in such a way to simple visitors..." said a slightly older female voice that interrupted Blanc's reading. "A goddess such as yourself should have much better manners, Lady White Heart."

Out of all the people that could have talked to her right now, Blanc would have preferred anyone but _her_. Reluctantly, Blanc re-bookmarked her book and closed it before standing up again. She walked outside her purple curtains and found the only person who would talk to her in such a manner.

"... Conversation," Blanc addressed, suppressing her wrath. "You were here?"

Conversation was very sneaky when she wanted to be. It must have been a very easy talent for her to master, being a silhouette and all. She might have been able to do better if she didn't carry a book in her left hand at all times but, as Blanc never noticed her until she spoke up, it wasn't an issue. She did look somewhat pecular, with hair that was short with the exception of one bang that framed her right cheek, what might have been a suit or a robe or jacket and a hat that would have been wide-brimmed if it weren't for the brim being folded upwards to surround the crown like a wall, but that was all redundant; all silhouettes were essentially the same, regardless of their appearances.

"... Why are you here? Shouldn't you be preaching about me in the other landmasses?" Blanc inquired.

"I perform my teachings to the best of my ability. However, they will be dishonest if you do not conduct yourself as a goddess..."

"For the love of... Did you come all the way back here just to flame me, you old hag?!" Blanc couldn't contain herself in the face of such blatant criticism. "I promoted you from Chamberlain to Evangelist for a reason! Give me some freakin' space already!"

The silhouette sighed. "I understood your intentions perfectly well. However, you leave me no choice but to return to give you advice due to those bursts of petty hysterics that drive away many visitors that simply wish to talk with you pleasantly, much like those travellers that were just here. The people do not simply seek protection, Lady White Heart. They also-"

"I get it..." impatiently groaned Blanc. "Monsters are killing more and more people. I'm trying to take care of it but it's annoying as crap."

Conversation tutted at Blanc's frankness. "Such a brazen attitude will only serve to drive aspiring followers even further away. Honesty is indeed a virtue but you must exercise confidence and good will as well. However, above all else, you must stay in control of yourself."

Blanc rolled her eyes and growled. "Look, you told me to stay quiet and I'm staying quiet, damn it. I'm doing my damn job."

"And yet I find myself returning to remind you to keep your anger in check. I cannot see myself doing this for the other goddesses."

That was it. In a rage, Blanc threw her book at the ground. "Well, that's because I'm not really a goddess, aren't?! I'm _way_ too bratty and childish, not to mention how easily people piss me off!"_  
><em>

Conversation turned her head to her book as she made her way to the door. "I'm leaving now but I will return to re-evaluate you. Please make sure you've improved your attitude by then."

* * *

><p>In the main room of the Basilicom, the party was standing around near the entrance. Jacob's face was currently buried into his hands. His nose kept pumping air into his palms as he vented his rage as well as he good. "I am so mad right now..." he stated as he took his hands off his face and put them together, lacing the fingers. "She reminds me of my sister except angrier, less snarky and even less willing to help. I want to drop a bulldozer on both of them."<p>

Neptune looked at him, a bit curious. "Really? 'Cause she reminds me of you."

The rest of the party found that to be a surprising statement. Even Jacob abandoned his anger and looked at Neptune, perplexed. "... She reminds you of me. How? I'm nowhere near that rude or angry."

"No but you are pretty violent," said IF.

"When we first met, you kept wanting me to shut up," reminded Neptune.

"You tried to backhand Neptune when she pat you on the back," added IF.

"You also flicked me on the forehead," Neptune brought to mind the event that took place before they went to Lastation's Basilicom for the first time.

"You were very angry when I noticed your boobies," Compa brought up.

"You also tried to hit Neptune when she gave you a new nickname," Nisa referred.

"And now you said you wanted to drop a bulldozer on both your sister and a goddess," added Compa.

"Alright, alright, alright, that's enough..." Jacob waved his hand to silence them but he took the information in regardless. "Whoa... Now that I think about it, I kind of suck."

"You had your reasons." IF pulled out her phone. "We're not gonna hold it against you. It's pretty normal, here."

"Not where I'm from," Jacob countered. "We're more well-mannered and composed than this."

Compa gasped lightly. "Even on the Internep?"

"... No. Most definitely not. Even Blanc would be terrified of my world's Internet. I'm still terrified of it. Still, that's not an excuse for my behaviour. Sorry, I'll try to be better in future."

Financier caught the party's attention when she approached them. "I'm terribly sorry. She can be... a bit hostile." She pulled out a rolled-up piece of paper and handed it to Neptune. "Anyway, here is a map showing all of our monster infested dungeons."

"Thank you very muchly!" said Neptune as she took the map from the Chamberlain.

"_OH, DON'T WORRY! I'LL BE A GOOD LITTLE GIRL WHEN YOU COME AROUND NEXT, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!_"_  
><em>

Blanc's extremely loud shout caused the party to look in the direction it came from. "... What the heck was that?" asked a surprised IF.

Financier sighed. "Someone must have upset Lady White Heart in her critical state. Don't worry, it's not directed at you."

"Duly noted," responded Jacob, "and thanks again."

"Do be careful," cautioned Blanc's assistant. "These are monsters you're dealing with, after all."

"You have nothing to fear, citizen! As Gamindustri's heroines and hero, we will triumph over whatever evils lay in our way!" Nisa proudly claimed.

"I can't say I have your level of confidence but you seem like you know what you're doing," Financier replied plainly before heading down a corridor. "Have a good day."

"Buh-bye," returned Neptune as she unrolled the map.

The party made their way to the door when they were interrupted. "I must say, that was a very peculiar meeting. 'We will take back what the Overlord has taken from you', hm?"

Everyone turned around to see a female silhouette behind them holding a book. "Oh, hello." Jacob walked up to her and extended an open hand. "Who might you be? And I'm offering a handshake."

"Oh, I see," she answered as she took his hand and shook it rather casually before releasing it. "I was about to say that you were a very intimate person. It's good that we cleared that up. As for who I am, I am Conversation, the Evangelist of Lady White Heart."

"Oh, what does an Evangelist do?" Jacob asked. "Terribly sorry. I don't get out often." While that wasn't the reason Jacob didn't know about Evangelists, it was still true.

"I would not blame you even if you did. Lowee has different customs compared to other landmasses and I'd hardly expect anyone outside to know the inner workings of a Basilicom. Anyway, an Evangelist's job is to travel across the landmasses and preach about their goddess in order to win over believers." Conversation sighed. "Regardless, I still find myself returning here to advise my Lady to not explode at passers-by such as yourselves. I am so sorry that you had to endure her tantrum. She can be such a child... Don't tell her I said that, though," she said with the slightest hint of amusement.

Jacob grinned slightly. "We won't, don't worry."

"So is there something you wanted to talk to us about?" IF asked.

"Oh, yes. It seems I have rambled on again. Well, for the sake of keeping watch on White Heart, I listened in on your conversation. I assure you, the intrusion of privacy was necessary." She looked at Neptune. "Do not worry, Lady Purple Heart. I have no personal feelings regarding you and I have no intention of informing anyone else about your true nature. Anyway... would I be correct to assume that you plan on defeating Overlord Momus?"

"Yepperoni!" Neptune cheered. "He threw me off Celestia and now he wants to destroy the world! We're gonna take him down and all around!"

"Such spirit and confidence. It will certainly be a useful weapon in the face of adversity. It will also be your downfall."

"What? Why?" asked Compa.

The Evangelist sighed solemnly. "The Overlord is much too powerful. You've heard it all. His strength is so great that not even three of the goddesses could hope to match him. A fourth would only delay the inevitable."

"Well, we haven't really level grinded much," answered Neptune. "We just need to beat up enough monsters so that we can kill him in one turn."

"And therein lies your second problem... the Overlord's messenger. The monsters serve as the Overlord's vassals. The messenger will pass judgement onto you if you defeat them."

"You mean Arfoire, right? Don't worry. We've beaten her once before and we were one member short when we fought," IF responded.

"If she put up a fight before, we will undeniably crush her now!" Nisa boasted.

Conversation did not respond right away. "... I have seen the messenger's punishment with my own eyes. Forgive me for saying this but you cannot hope to win."

"Well, we have to try," Jacob answered. "The world's not going to save itself."

Wearily, the female silhouette just walked to the door. "Then your quest will end in your deaths," she added as she exited the Basilicom.

"Bad guy," IF commented.

"Yep," Jacob agreed.

As they had no other purpose there, the party left the Basilicom.

* * *

><p>"Th-That old woman's going to pay f-for taking the tran-transport before we could!" Neptune stammered as the party walked down the familiar street of Lowee to get to the motel.<p>

"Nep-Nep, we must be patient. There was only one car and we're not the only people in the world that go to and from the Basilicom," Compa said calmly.

"E-Easy for you to say! You have the hot p-pack!" Nisa complained.

IF didn't turn her eyes away from her phone even once.

Jacob was happy to have an opportunity to get out of the cold. "Ah, home sweet home-"

"- will have to wait," finished Nisa as she grabbed his ear.

"OW! What?!"

His sensei released his sensitive organ. "Well, we're very cold and we really don't have much else to do for the rest of the day, seeing as we agreed to tackle the dungeon tomorrow. With that in mind, why don't we get more of your training done?"

Jacob didn't complain at that. "... Yeah, that's a good idea."

"Don't worry, my student! The training, in addition to your heat-absorbing black clothes, will keep your fires of justice burning brightly and ward off the cold!"

"Well," started IF, still typing on her phone, "seeing as we have nothing better to do, Compa, Neptune, you two feel like watching?"

"Well... sure, why not? It couldn't hurt to watch," answered Compa.

"S-Say that again without th-the hot pack!" Neptune retorted.

* * *

><p>It didn't take long to find a suitable area to practice in but, to the party, it felt like it took forever to find a place in this frigid weather. It was a wide, plain field, isolated by a plethora of trees on one side and a wooden fence perhaps twenty feet in length on the other. The fence actually rested on the property of whoever owned the cucumber house on the other side of it. Neptune, IF and Compa sat down on a fallen tree and watched as Jacob and Nisa got into the middle of the field. Jacob had taken off his jacket and left it on the tree, believing this training session would keep him warm.<p>

Nisa started speaking. "Well, my student, I believe we've trained your body sufficiently for now. Therefore, let us commence with training you in the art of hand-to-hand combat. Get into a stance you feel comfortable with."

Jacob sighed slightly before complying. His left foot was put in front while the other foot was turned forty-five degrees to the side. Both of his hands were clenched into fists, his left arm was held straight above his left leg with the back of it facing diagonally upwards while his other arm pointed to the ground until his elbow bent his forearm parallel to it with the underside of his forearm pointed upward.

Nisa seemed to not have expected this. "I didn't realise you had prior experience."

"Had karate lessons a few years back. I didn't get very far before I got bored and just stopped going. I faintly remember this stance, though," explained Jacob. "It's hard to stay in one place for a while as your back itches and you're not allowed to scratch it. I don't have that problem in cold weather, though."

"You stop feeling itchy in the cold as well?"

"Yes, Sensei."

"Heh. I'm not the only one. Anyway, this is mostly informal training so feel free to scratch when you need to unless I say otherwise."

"Thank you, Sensei."

"Now, let's start with basic punches."

Compa was the only one who was actually watching the lesson unfold even if she was getting as bored of it as she imagined IF and Neptune were. IF was still typing on her phone and Neptune was... Actually, Neptune was in a rather peculiar state that Compa shifted her focus to from Jacob practising his jabs. Neptune was indeed looking at Jacob but she didn't seem to be paying attention to the training at all. Something else was going on in her mind and Jacob seemed to be a part of it. Her expression was blank, revealing nothing of the thought process she was going through. The only possible clue of her thoughts was a very faint blush on her cheeks.

"Nep-Nep?"

Neptune was roused out of her daydreaming. "Oh, hey Compa. Are they done already?"

"No. I just wanted to know what you're thinking about."

Neptune quickly turned embarrassed. "Ah, it's... Well..." Neptune glanced at IF. Sure enough, she was still focusing on her phone. She looked at Jacob and Nisa. Jacob was practising some punches on Nisa, who blocked every one of them and told him how they were. She then looked back at Compa. "Hey, uh... Wanna go behind the trees? I want some privacy."

"Huh? O-Okay." Compa stood up with Neptune and went behind the trees, unnoticed by the others. The only exception was IF, who was glancing at them when they weren't looking.

Neptune dragged her nurse apprentice a bit far into the snowy forest. It was only until they couldn't see the others anymore when Neptune decided to stop. "Whew... Okay, here seems dandy... So!" Neptune quickly turned her gaze to Compa. "Whaddya wanna talk about?"

Compa did not share the CPU's enthusiasm. "Nep-Nep, you've been drifting off to la-la land ever since we talked with Lady Black Heart. I'm getting a bit worried. Can you please tell me what's going on?"

Once again, Neptune's blush returned, even brighter than before. "Ah-Well... Well..." Finally, Neptune sighed. "Okay... I can tell you because you're my bestest buddy who can keep all my secrets. The truth is... The truth is... Gah!" Neptune turned around and quickly hugged the nearest tree and pressed her face against it. "It's so embarrassing!"

"Nep-Nep, you can trust me!" Compa urged. "You'll always be Nep-Nep to me!"

After a moment, Neptune removed herself from the product of nature and faced Compa again. "Absolutely true! Now... the thing is..." Again, she struggled to admit her feelings even while she tried to force them out. Finally, she slapped her hands on Compa's shoulders and looked her right in the eyes. "Compa! Who do I choose: Noirey or Sparky?"

Compa was not expecting that. She said absolutely nothing, only keeping her bewildered gaze locked with Neptune's determined one. "B-Bwuh?" she said at last.

Finally, Neptune succumbed to her embarrassment and let go. "Ah, I said it I said it I said it! I got it outta the way like a wooden crate that I jumped on!" she ranted as she moved around.

Compa finally remembered what she just heard and responded. "Wh-Wh-What do you mean, choose?"

Neptune looked back at her. "Don't you see, Compa? I am in a love triangle!"

"Wh-What makes you think that?"

"Compa, you can't be tellin' me you can't see the signs! Let's start with Spark Boobs. I crash into his home world and he leaves home sweet home just to help a mysterious girl like moi get her memory back. Clearly, he's smitten with me but he won't say it because he's tall, dark and mysterious! Plus, he's the only guy on our team so tropes pretty much dictate we end up together. And, for extra coolness points, he's from another dimension. Compa, I have snagged myself an alien boyfriend!"

To Compa, "tall", "dark" and "mysterious" were not really descriptive of Jake. Well, actually, "tall" described him very well. Quickly going through what she remembered of everyone she knew, Jake was the tallest person she'd ever met. Then again, the height of a silhouette wasn't that easy to assess and the number of non-silhouettes she had met was probably a single digit. "Dark" and "mysterious", on the other hand, were still not exactly descriptive of Jake. Even though he was a bit ill-mannered and cheeky, he was rather talkative, easy to get along with and he mixed in well with the party.

"But then there's Noirey. Yeah, I know she tried to kill us and all but she didn't want to. She's a Tsundere and that's sort of what they do. One by one, I'm gonna break her out of her stubborn lil' shell and get her to say she loves me. Also, have you _seen_ her bod? She's so smokin' that I could use her as a barbecue stand!" And then Neptune seemed to start talking to herself. "But Spark Boobs has spark boobs and that increases his funness by a quazillion. But Noirey definitely likes me and I just gotta get her to seal the deal... Ahh!" She turned back to Compa and looked at her pleadingly. "Compa, help me! Who do I choooose?"

Unfortunately for Neptune, Compa was well beyond saying anything rational at this point. "Eh... Buh... I..." she blubbered.

Neptune groaned. "Aw, you're not gonna cry again!"

"What's going on?" asked IF as she came around a tree.

"Iffy!" Neptune shouted, alarmed, and jumped back from Compa. "What are you doing here? Weren't you busy tinkering with your phone?"

"I was just sending a message to Chian about Armas. So what's this about choosing Jacob or Noire?"

"Ah! How did you know?!"

"I heard you. Now, you say you're in a love triangle?"

Neptune was flaring up. "Iffy, I can't tell you! I don't trust you with my deepest, darkest secrets!"

"I don't want to know them in the first place. Also, if you ask me, I honestly thought Jacob would have a thing for Compa."

IF's incredibly nonchalant opinion brought in yet another wave of surprised silence.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-_Whaaaaaa?_" Compa stammered while sporting a growing blush.

"What in the Underverse makes you think that?!" Neptune asked, equally shocked.

If one looked at the corner of IF's mouth, one would be able to see it turn upwards. "Well, I just remember how comforting Compa was to Jacob when we took him to get treated after our first fight with Arfoire. Then she was the one who treated him after fighting Noire and she got to see his 'spark boobs' before anyone else could." Her smirk only grew. "To think, it was going to be their little secret had Chian not spoiled it."

Compa's face was so red, it looked like you could cook eggs on it.

"Nononononononono!" Neptune was defiant. "That can't be right!"

"Th-That's not..." meekly began Compa.

Nisa then entered the scene. "My friends, what are you all doing here?"

"Hey Nisa," casually greeted IF. "We're just talking about Jacob's love interest."

Nisa grew even more curious. "Jacob's what?"

"Neptune thinks she's in some sort of love triangle with Jacob and Noire-"

"_Shh!_" went Neptune in an unsuccessful attempt to keep IF quiet.

"- while I personally think Jacob and Compa may have a future together."

"That... isn't..." Compa couldn't form proper sentences under such embarrassment.

Nisa raised an eyebrow. "Oh, is that so? Honestly, I thought you would be the one to win Jacob's heart."

Neptune and Compa both snapped their gazes towards IF, whose confidence was replaced by shock.

"Wh-What? No! What makes you think that? He's not even my type!"

"Really? The two of you are rather intelligent, you love to make snide remarks and you get along quite well."

IF composed herself. "Well... I can see the logic but I don't even want a boyfriend. Anyway, I'd prefer to just stay on the level of him pointing out lame video game references and me telling him to shut up."

"Or kick him under a table," Nisa added with a smile.

"That too," IF answered with an amused smirk.

"N-Nisa! Where's J-Jake?" Compa asked as her blush began to recede.

"Oh, right! Compa, I might require your help. You see, I was teaching Jacob a way to punch but I believe the power of my justice might have been a bit overwhelming for him and I may have knocked him unconscious."

What remained of Compa's blush instantly vanished. "What? Then he needs help! Take me back to him!"

With Nisa taking the lead, the girls returned to where the heroine was training her student.

* * *

><p>Back in Jacob's world, Jacob's parents had just arrived home. They were somewhat moody and they didn't say a word to each other as they exited their car and went inside the house.<p>

"Hi Mum, hi Dad!" called Hannah as she quickly walked through the house to get to her parents.

"Hey Hannah!" they called back.

"You have _no_ idea what happened today," she said right before she came into the laundry where they came in.

This piqued Sharon's curiosity. "Well, this should be interesting. What is it?"

Hannah held up to her mother some of the broken pieces of the phone.

"... Where'd you find this?" John asked.

"It fell onto our roof and bounced onto the garage. I have no idea where it came from. This isn't even all of it. Some of it's still on the roof."

"Alright, I'll call the police and ask them about it," said John as he went into the kitchen. Hannah and Sharon followed and Hannah poured the phone pieces onto the kitchen bench.

"So..." Sharon started, "what do you know about the phone?"

Hannah looked back at the small pile of scrap. "Nothing, really. I've never seen anything like it before, though. All I know is that it came from the sky."

"Hi, this is John," John said into the phone. "I'd like to..."

"The sky, huh...?" Sharon repeated.

Hannah sighed, the slightest bit depressed. "Yeah."

John continued talking.

Hannah broke the silence between the two girls. "You don't think..."

"I don't know," Sharon responded. "We'll have to wait and see."

A few more moments passed before John put the phone down again. "They said that they're going to send someone around to collect the phone and ask us about it."

Sharon didn't respond. He wasn't expecting her to. For everyone in the household, their worries were united. More than anything, they just wanted Jacob to be alright. They couldn't help but worry for his safety.

* * *

><p>"Let's get something straight," began Jacob in the motel room at night, "I am not sharing a bed with any one of you."<p>

"You're just saying that because of cooties," returned Neptune.

"No, I'm saying that because I feel very uncomfortable with sleeping with a girl. Especially if they're in their underwear instead of their sleepwear." Jacob said this because, as sleepwear, Neptune took a page out of IF's book and was only wearing what she had on under her hoodie. That is, a cyan and white-striped tube top with lacy frills on the bottom complete with cyan and white-striped panties and cyan and white-strikes stockings with lacy frills on the top. At the very least, she had the sense to take her shoes off. "Especially more so if they're younger than I am."

"But I'm a goddess! That means I must be eons old!" shouted Neptune defiantly.

"Then you're too old and you'll get thrown into prison faster than you can say Hyperdimension Neptunia," Jacob answered as he made his way to the strawberry cake bed closest to the door. "Anyway..." he pulled away the covers, lied down and covered himself again, "... I am now going to sleep in this bed alone. When I wake up, I expect to be in this bed alone. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, you do," IF remarked, resting in the middle bed with Compa beside her. "Now please let's get to sleep. We have dungeon hunting to do in the morning."

"Indeed we do!" agreed Nisa, who was lying in the last bed wearing red pyjamas consisting of a button-up short-sleeved shirt with a folded collar and loose pants. Even though she wasn't wearing her goggles, she still wore her N-shaped hair clip that kept her hair up in its unique style. "Come now, Neptune. We both need our beauty sleep."

"In a tidbit." Neptune turned around and bent down so that she was talking to the dogs around her. "Now boys, if any shady people decide to break in or something's on fire, bark like you've never barked before."

"Arf arf!" the dogs obediently responded.

Neptune patted them all on the head one by one. "Good boys! I'd so give you treats but you're robots and robots don't eat. Oh well." She walked over to Nisa's bed, pulled back the covers and hopped in. "Sweet dreams..." she yawned, "... everyone..."

"Good night, Nep-Nep..." Compa returned with a yawn of her own.

"Goodnight..." Jacob yawned before snuggling into his bed. "Jeez, these beds are comfortable."

"I know, right?" Neptune responded. "I feel like I'm sleeping on a cloud of cotton candy and being massaged by little cloud fairies..."

"I don't think it's big enough, though," Jacob commented as he looked down at his sock-covered feet that poked out of the end of the doona. "I'm really missing my old bed."

"How big was your old bed?" IF asked out of curiosity.

"King sized. Could roll over to another side if one side got too hot for me. It was very comfortable." Jacob let out an amused sigh. "It's surprising, really. I've watched enough garbage on TV that preached not to take your beloved things for granted and it's only now that I actually know what I had."

"You want to go home soon?" Nisa asked.

Jacob thought for a moment. "I do but, at the same time, I really want to see this adventure through with you all. Still... I have to go home. I have no idea what's going on back home but no one even knows I'm here."

"Don't worry, Jacob. I swear on my hairclips that, as soon as I can, I'll find a way for you to get home," Neptune promised. "Alright?"

Jacob smiled a warm smile that no one else saw since his back was facing the rest of the girls. "Thanks, Neptune."

"Hate to spoil the moment but it's getting late and I'd like to sleep sooner rather than later," brought up IF. "Now, close your eyes and count sheep or something."

"Right, sorry," Jacob apologised. "Good night, everyone."

"Good night, my sidekicks."

"'Night."

"Good night."

"Nighty night."

Sixteen quieter "woof"s were made by the dogs all at once as the party closed their eyes and fell into a blissful sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>No, I have absolutely no idea what Conversation's hat is. Damn you, Wikipedia! Actually, damn you, Tsunako!<strong>

**Discovery of the day: in Victory, it is said that CPUs cannot actually fly.** Just levitate.** At least, that's what I've heard on the NISA forums. Well, I'm going to ignore this for the duration of this fic as Victory has its own continuity completely separate from mk1's but that raises the question of what the hell the CPUs were doing with CFW Magic in the opening scene of mk2.**

**In any event, Chapter 21, The Steps We Take, is next.**


	21. The Steps We Take

**Well, this is surprising. Jacob is now being shipped with the Neptunia girls by my readers. I best not let this get back to the NISA forums. How about this: you keep quiet and I'll respond to your reviews:**

**Saturn56: ... Are you talking about the upcoming Neptunia anime or this fanfic?**

**Saturn56: Did you know there's this other person on deviantArt who ships JacobXIF? I was surprised, too.**

**Hydrocity3: Thanks a lot. I was actually a bit worried after posting the chapter, honestly, that the maiwaifu eagles would swoop in to kill me.**

**ChromaLuke: Thanks. I'll make sure to get more of those scenes in, then. I don't know when Red will come into the picture, sorry.**

**Wdog-999: Good that I can make mostly inconsequential chapters hilarious, eh? And thanks. Partly. I'll make sure to pull you out of a burning building if I feel in the mood, then.**

**godofmadness43: They're robots. They don't need feeding. And keep wondering.**

**Shadz: Ooh, a long review! Haven't had one of these in a while. :D Firstly, that's completely understandable. I've come across a few (unnoted) self-insert fics in my time and they had a tendency to suck.**

**Thank you. If there's one thing that annoys me with rewrites that have significant new elements added in, it's that nothing ever changes. I wanted to change that. Jacob's an active participant in the plot now and his knowledge has definitely shaped new paths.**

**They could try that if they ever knew that she liked tangerines.**

**Yes they will. Maybe. If the villains ever pose a genuine threat.**

**I know, right? So many cop outs are to be had in a self-insert fic- or any story in which the character goes into another world- where the character's previous world is never shown or the consequences of their world hopping are never deconstructed. Time slowing or whatever, the authors are never willing to reveal their families. Admittedly, I felt the same way and those are somewhat agitating moments for me to write but I know I have to try anyway.**

**Partly why I'm writing this fic is because I don't like the games (to put it mildly). Inconsistencies like that are partly the reason why.**

**Thanks. :D**

**Prinny Overlord: You have NO idea.**

**KaiserPhotos: Hey howdy hey! And thanks. The majority of male anime protagonists get to me for their stupidity as well.**

**And we have a winner! It's none of them indeed!**

**I don't even know how I'm doing it. I even made a thread on the NISA forums asking about Neptune's personality and we didn't really get anywhere. If you ask me, NISA pretty much chucked whatever they thought was "random" and "wacky" into Neptune's dialogue and I'm basically trying the same thing.**

**Thank you. Also, I think anyone could play this without feeling shady if the prepubescent girls didn't regularly show their panties. It's why IF is always my dungeon avatar.**

**I shall! This fic will not die!**

**raidouXVI: Thank you, Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner fan. I will continue to update.**

**yamacirnoyama: Thank you, whatever the hell your name is. And so do many other people.**

**Nicolas Crossworth: You know, maybe I'll just respond to your review via PM. I think these replies are taking up enough space already.**

**Let's get the next chapter going.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21: The Steps We Take<strong>

The next morning, Jacob found himself being roused from his sleep by something prodding his hand which seemed to be hanging over the edge of the bed. A rather strange position for his hand to be in but this was a smaller bed than he was used to, not to mention he was still drowsy from waking up only seconds ago, so he ignored it. Using his forearm to rub the sleep out of his eyes, he finally discovered the hand-prodder to be none other than one of the toy dogs. It was sitting down and wagging its tail, apparently waiting for him to notice it.

"Hey, boy," Jacob responded. "What's up...?"

"Good morning..." Nisa yawned, "my diligent student..."

Jacob turned over to see his Sensei standing at the side of his bed. She was still clad in her crimson pyjamas looking rather drowsy and the other side of his bed's doona was turned over, as if someone got out of it. Which he didn't do. At least, not yet.

"Sensei, were you sleeping in my bed...?" inquired Jacob.

Being drowsy, Nisa couldn't look very apologetic but Jacob would be damned if he said she didn't try. "Oh Jacob, I am so sorry but Neptune would simply not wear the bed covers. I cannot stand such a thing in this weather and so I... snuck into your bed," she concluded while blushing with embarrassment. "I am terribly sorry."

Jacob rubbed his eyes. "She's not wearing the covers...?"

Upon hearing that, the hand-prodding dog walked around Jacob's bed and headed to Neptune's. Jacob forced himself out of his bed, feeling the biting cold of the morning as he did so, and followed the dog with Nisa to Neptune's bed. Unlike IF and Compa, who were sleeping peacefully, Neptune was shivering from underneath the doona which she held so tightly to her body. Beside the bed, ArfArf was whining in concern.

"Oh, she's wearing them now?" said Nisa.

"Oh goodness gracious..." Jacob groaned as he lifted ArfArf onto the bed. "Get Compa and IF awake."

While Nisa was waking up the nurse and the brunette, Jacob woke up Neptune. "Oi. Wake up."

"I'm already up..." the CPU groaned before opening her eyes to look at Jacob. "I don't feel good..."

"I gathered."

"Nep-Nep, are you okay?" Compa asked as she walked to the side of Neptune's bed with IF beside her.

"Compaaaa..." Neptune began to whine. "My head feels sore and my nose feels really runny..."

Compa smiled. "Nep-Nep, you have a cold. Were you not wearing the covers when you slept?"

"No, she wasn't," answered Jacob.

"Oh dear. Nep-Nep, let me get dressed and make some medicine for it." The nurse then turned to Jacob. "Could you dress her up, please? The more layered she is, the better."

"Gotcha." Jacob fetched Neptune's jacket as Nisa, Compa and IF scattered. After Jacob got Neptune's jacket onto her, he put his own on much like IF did. Compa and Nisa went to the bathroom down the hallway to get dressed. Compa came out first, as she needed to prepare the medicine, followed shortly by Nisa.

With Jacob, IF and Nisa watching and Neptune confined to her bed, Compa sat down on the floor and pulled out of her disc a few bottles of liquid, a small box of powder, an empty round-bottom flask, a funnel and a small measuring cup. She lined everything out in front of her.

Jacob seemed the slightest bit worried. "Hey, uh, what are you doing?"

Compa looked back at him. "I'm going to prepare Nep-Nep's flu medicine."

"Shouldn't you prepare that in a lab? Or on a bench? Or somewhere other than the floor of a motel room? Or can't we just buy the remedy already made at a clinic or something?"

Compa looked at him with eyes that reflected both indignation and confidence. "Jake, I am a nurse in training. Trust me on this one. I know what I am doing."

Jacob tsked once. "Alrighty then."

With a content smile, Compa got to work. Jacob, IF and Nisa watched with intrigue as Compa poured one of the liquids into the measuring cup until the fluid reached the measurement she wanted. At that point, she poured the liquid into the funnel which directed the ingredient into the flask that the funnel rested on top of. She then repeated this process for the other liquids.

Nisa leaned to IF. "Is this really how medicine works?" she whispered.

"I have absolutely no idea," IF whispered back.

Compa then poured the powder into the flask and, after removing the funnel, stirred it around by gently moving it in circles. It was then that the fluid emitted a bright white light that forced Jacob, Nisa, IF and Compa to look away with their eyes closed for a second before it died down. When Compa looked back at her product, she was less than pleased.

"Is it ready yet?" Neptune asked.

"Huh? Why didn't it work?" Compa asked with dismay.

"You were saying?" Jacob said with a grin before hoping off his bed and walking towards the door. "Sensei, do you wanna..."

Jacob stopped where he was when he saw a young girl who couldn't have been more than four feet tall looking in from the corridor. She had chocolate brown hair with matching eyes and she wore a pair of brown, leather boots, a light blue dress with puffed sleeves and ruffled lining and white puffed shorts that ended a bit above her short knees. That was where the "normal" for this girl ended. The rest of her clothing was nothing short of bizarre, such as her huge white rabbit hat she wore on her head and came with two floppy ears that were equal to her arms if not greater in length. Speaking of the arms, she wore a massive white glove on each hand with a violet circle symbol on the back with a thin line going to the rolled-up cuffs. Around her neck was a loose-fitting brown leather belt with a golden buckle and the front of her dress had a pouch in it containing several plants or vegetables and a round-bottom flask half-filled with a strange orange liquid.

Jacob felt rather justified when he very bluntly asked her "Who are you?"

Surprised, the other girls of the party (except for Neptune, of course) looked towards the door and also saw the girl.

Even though she seemed a little bit surprised for getting caught, she politely stepped into the room to introduce herself. "I am Gust. I was watching her make medicine. She is failing."

"H-Hey!" Compa cried out. "Just give me a moment!"

"You know, I can always give it a try," IF offered. "Beginners luck and all."

"No!" Gust objected as she strode into the room. "Medicine should only be made by experts! Stand back!"

Compa found herself parting from her medical supplies as Gust walked towards them before sitting herself down. After familiarising herself with Compa's materials, she pulled out an empty round-bottom flask from somewhere that couldn't be seen, most likely from her disc, and put Compa's funnel into it. "Mix Potion A," she began before picking up one of Compa's liquid ingredients and pouring it in, "with Potion B," she added as she repeated the process and then mixed the two fluids in the container, "then add powder." She then poured the powder into the flask.

_**BANG!**_

Everyone (except for Neptune, of course) recoiled in shock at the loud noise that came from the surprisingly intact flask. Jacob covered his ears in addition. "What the _hell _was that?!" he cried.

"Is it ready yet?" Neptune asked again.

"Was that patient?" Gust inquired. "Wait a bit longer. Explosion caused by chemical reaction of old ingredients. Do not worry. Gust will use her own ingredients."

"Hey, shouldn't you prepare that in a clean environment?" Jacob decided to ask again.

Gust looked at him just as Compa did before but, unlike the nurse, Gust didn't look at all offended. "Gust is skilled alchemist. Trust me. Gust knows what she is doing."

Jacob smirked. "Alright but, if this goes bad again, we're just going to the nearest pharmacist."

Gust ignored him so that she could instead focus on her work. She pulled out another flask as well as two bottles of different fluids and another box of powder. After mixing them all together like she did with Compa's, the end result did not explode. "... There," she said, pleased with herself as she poured the contents of her glass container into a small cup.

"Is it ready yet?" Neptune asked once more.

"Yes," the alchemist answered before handing the cup to Compa. "Have patient drink all of it. Cure cold in no time."

"Oh, thank you so much." Compa took the medicine from Gust and was about to give it to Neptune but she noticed Gust's expectant outstretched hand. "Oh, what's... this? Do you want a hand shake?"

"For ingredients and labour," Gust replied simply.

"What? You charge?!"

Gust was completely indifferent to Compa's shock. "Oh yes. Valuable ingredients. But, just for you, don't worry about labour this time."

Jacob was rather peeved at this girl who just barged right into their hotel room and forced their fees on them for something no one asked for but he kept his tongue.

Nisa did not. "What? You grace us with a kind act, completely unprompted, and then you force us to pay you even though we never requested your services to begin with? This is an outrage!"

Despite Nisa's outburst, Gust still maintained a professional demeanour. "Gust used her own ingredients to make medicine. It is only fair that I get paid back."

"That is fair enough," agreed IF as she stepped towards the short girl, "although you could've asked first. Now, here's the money..."

While IF was paying Gust, Compa was attempting to administer the medicine to Neptune. "Nep-Nep, open wide."

Neptune was reluctant. "I dunno. Can ya give me a spoonful of sugar first, please?"

"Nep-Nep, please don't be so difficult. I'll give you all the sugar you want when you're better."

"Really? I'm holding you to that, you know!" Neptune responded with enthusiasm.

Compa smiled. "That's the spirit. Now, open up."

Neptune complied by opening her mouth wide and lifting her own head up, allowing Compa to pour the remedy into her mouth. After Neptune pulled a face of absolute disgust, she reluctantly swallowed. "That... needed a spoonfuuuuu..." Neptune didn't finish as she fell asleep faster than if she'd been hit with the Sleep status ailment.

Jacob was surprised. "That was fast."

"That's typical of medicine," Compa responded before walking towards IF and Gust. "Thank you again."

"No problem," Gust responded.

"So what, exactly, do you do?" IF asked. "You show up at our room... I still don't know what you were doing there but I really don't care, and you conveniently make a cure for our sick party member for what I might call a reasonable price if I was Neptune on a very good day."

"Gust is travelling alchemist. I synthesize items from materials I find around Gamindustri and sell them."

"So young and yet so dedicated..." Compa smiled, impressed. "I'm amazed to find someone of your work ethic, Ms Gust."

Gust returned with a warm smile. "Heh. You flatter. Tell Gust if any items needed. Gust offer discount price."

"Really? That's very kind of you!" Compa responded with surprise at Gust's sudden generosity. "Well, if you ever need materials, you can always ask us to gather them for you."

Gust was now the one taken aback by another person's charity. "You will? It is sometimes hard to gather ingredients. This helps a lot!"

"Well, I do suppose it is worth the discount..." added Nisa.

"Hey, 'scuse me," Jacob spoke up to get the alchemist's attention. "Do you wanna join our party?"

"Jacob!" IF shouted, being as shocked as the other girls. "We can't just ask random civilians to join our party! We go through at least one monster infested dungeon a day!"

"Hey, I'm not asking her to fight. She's an alchemist so she can prepare us items that we can use for dungeons. I'm hardly expecting her to fight."

A look of pride once again appeared on Gust's face. "Despite appearances, Gust is capable of combat. Regardless, I decline. Gust is making comfortable living with selling synthesized goods."

Nisa stepped in. "We are not simply dungeon raiders, alchemist. We are on a quest to save the world!"

Gust was caught by surprise. "Save the world?"

"Oh, yes." Nisa squatted so that she was nearly eye level with the shorter girl. "Gamindustri lives in dire times. Not only are monsters plaguing the entire world, an evil overlord by the name of Momus has taken over Celestia after driving out the four goddesses. But all is not lost! In a dark location, hidden in the shadows of Gamindustri, lies a captive Histoire. To rescue her, we must procure a single Key Fragment from each of the four landmasses. Once rescued, Histoire will help us defeat Overlord Momus and rid the world of monsters!"

It took a few moments for Gust to snap out of her stunned silence. "... How do you know about Celestia?"

Nisa smirked. "Because..." She then pointed dramatically at the sleeping Neptune, "... our dearest Neptune is none other than Purple Heart, Planeptune's CPU!"

"What?!" Gust shouted.

IF was hitting her face on the nearest wall.

Gust composed herself. "Well, if that is case, Gust will join you."

IF stopped hitting her face on the wall and looked back at Gust. "Huh? Did I hear that right or am I hallucinating?"

"I heard it too," Jacob answered her with a raised hand, "but I would like to know why you want to help us out."

With her hands behind her back, Gust span to Jacob and gave him a very innocent smile. "Well... Unique ingredients all over Gamindustri, ripe for Gust's picking. If I travel with party around world, I get ingredients." Then, all of a sudden, Gust's face turned serious. "With ingredients, I can make items to help world. Gamindustri is in trouble and only you want to help it. Gust will help however needed."

Compa clapped her hands together in delight. "That's wonderful! I would love to have you in our party."

Nisa smiled. "It appears you have a heart of justice. I have no objections to you joining us."

IF shrugged. "Sure, why not? At least we'll have a steady supply of funds and items."

"Then it's decided," said Jacob. "Gust is now a member of our party. Just so you know, I'm Jacob, the brunette's IF, Nisa's the blue-haired one and Compa's the nurse."

"A pleasure to meet you all." Gust gave a polite bow.

"It's a pleasure to have you in our party," Nisa returned.

Jacob continued. "Now, I think we should go buy some new clothes."

"What?" said IF. "Why would we need new clothes?"

"Well, I'd honestly vote for going dungeon crawling first but Neptune's fast asleep and the last thing I want is for Blanc or Arfoire to pop up out of nowhere and take us out. Buying clothes will help pass the time and Neptune and I can finally get some good pyjamas. I'm sick of sleeping in my clothes all the time."

"Why didn't you buy pyjamas earlier back in Lastation?" Compa asked.

Jacob rubbed the back of his head. "Kept slipping my mind. So, what do you all think?"

"Gust will go with you," the alchemist declared. "I can help point out good bargains."

"I'll come, too. There's nothing better to do," said IF.

"So shall I," said Nisa.

"I'll stay with Nep-Nep to keep an eye on her," said Compa. "If you'd like, I can write down her measurements so that you can get appropriate clothes for her."

"That'll help," responded IF.

"Okay, give me a moment." Compa pulled a sheet of paper and a pen out of her disc and began writing.

* * *

><p>After having some breakfast, Jacob, IF, Gust and Nisa made their way to a shopping mall. Like most shopping malls that Jacob knew of, it was very big and mostly white which made a lot of sense as this was Lowee. To the relief of everyone, it was surprisingly warm once they got inside and away from the doors. It was warm enough, in fact, that Jacob decided to take off his jacket and tie the sleeves around his waist. While the mall was predominantly white, there was some colour here and there. The stores didn't count because they were all expected to have their own individual aesthetic styles but the mall itself stuck to a more fantastic aesthetic. The escalators, for instance, had stairs that looked like blocks and there were large pulleys with crystals in the middle of them on the ends of the escalator that pulled the stairs in a perpetual cycle. The decorations from Dis Snow Forest, like the Christmas lights and the old-fashioned lamps, also made a reappearance here even if they weren't currently powered. Also, everything had a wooden aesthetic to it, much like the white wood of Dis Snow Forest. The pillars that supported the upper floors actually looked like intricately carved table legs.<p>

"Hey, how do the escalators work?" Jacob questioned.

"I dunno," answered IF.

"Me neither," added Gust.

"Oh, okay then," responded Jacob.

IF looked back at Jacob. "By the way, how are you doing? This is the first time you've been in a place like this."

"Not really. I've been in shopping centres before and this is only really different with the whole magic thing it's got going on. It's still unfamiliar large territory, mind you."

"Well, stay close to us and don't drift off. I know a good clothing store nearby."

The four-person party then traversed the ground floor, ignoring the other shops no matter how appealing they looked or when Jacob once very casually brought up that he'd never had Lowee chocolate before, and finally found themselves at a clothing store. Like with the main mall, items made of metal were few and far between. The poles and bars of the clothing racks were painted with red and white spiralling stripes and they were typically topped with a green ball, making them look a lot like candy. The entrance to the dressing rooms resembled a door for a rich person's wooden cupboard.

"Alright Jacob, you go find the pyjamas," IF instructed.

"Gotcha," acknowledged Jacob before he went off on his own.

The store was bigger than normal but Jacob still found where they kept the pyjamas nonetheless. Unlike in his world where they were sealed in pairs into bags, they were just folded together and stacked into pigeon-holes that were on a wall at the end of the store. Also, they were primarily white. However, unlike Lastation's exclusively black and white clothes, the white clothes in this store actually had a variety of styles with secondary colours and the pyjamas were no exception. Another thing that Jacob noticed was the nature of most of the pyjamas on display. Back home, finding a pair of summer pyjamas with shorts and a t-shirt was an impossible task. Here, that was not the case. While the summer style pyjamas were still outnumbered by the winter style, Jacob could actually find clothing suited to his tastes.

Upon finding a pair of red-striped pyjamas that seemed to be his size, Jacob proceeded to look for his friends, a task he completed once he turned around. "Oh, hello," said Jacob, mildly surprised.

IF looked at his intended purchase and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Jacob, what are those?"

"... These, my dear IF, are called 'pyjamas'. You do not wear these so I shall tell you that you sleep in them. They make sleeping comfortable."

"I see," IF responded with her own sarcasm. "I also see that your pyjamas are composed of shorts and a t-shirt. One would think that they'd be unsuited to wear in the cold."

"Okay, look," Jacob continued without sarcasm, "I don't wear pants. They're long and uncomfortable to wear and sleep in. Shorts are breezy and easy."

"Wow, I didn't realise I was talking to Neptune."

"Shut up. That was unintentional. Anyway, what'd you get?"

IF held out in front of Jacob a pair of white short shorts that had a cyan trim.

Jacob, in pleasant surprise, smiled. "God damn."

"I said we'd get Neptune shorts, didn't I?" IF smirked.

"Yeah, you did. And so did I." Jacob rubbed the back of his head. "Jeez, it feels like it's been months. I completely forgot about it."

Nisa, having not been around at the time they were discussing getting shorts for the CPU, was understandably a bit confused. "Am I missing something?"

"Don't worry about it," answered IF. "Now, all we need is pyjamas for Neptune. Found any?"

Jacob was a bit confused. "Why would I have found any?"

IF seemed to be equally as confused as she was when she saw his choice in pyjamas. "Why didn't you? You know what her measurements are, right?"

"No, not at all."

IF was exasperated. "You have them on you right now! Hell, I showed you them on the way here! Don't you remember?"

As a matter of fact, he did.

* * *

><p><em>It happened while the quartet were walking down one of the main roads of Lowee. As usual, fruit houses of varying degrees of distortion and snow were not in low supply. Jacob and IF were at the front while Gust was talking with Nisa at the back.<em>

_Nisa was explaining the party's quest to their newest party member. "Now, we don't know where the other Key Fragments are but we have our suspicions that they are being guarded by Guard Vermins."_

_"I see. Are other goddesses involved, too?" Gust asked._

_"A little bit. They know about Celestia and what happened with Momus but, other than that, only Neptune is vital to our mission."_

_Jacob and IF weren't really partaking in the conversation. The former had his own concerns to focus on. "Jesus, this weather is cold."_

_"I'm really getting sick of that, you know," responded IF._

_"Well, it is."_

_"Well, here's something to keep your mind off it." IF fished out from her pocket a piece of paper. The same piece of paper that Compa wrote Neptune's measurements on before they left. She gave it to him._

_Jacob opened it up. "What am I supposed to do with it?"_

_"You read it," IF said bluntly._

_"My God, how could I have been so blind?" Jacob said, having already read the incredibly brief information several times over. Out of boredom, he read it again._

_**Height: 146 cm  
>Weight: 37 kg<br>Sizes: B73-W54-H70  
>Cup: A<strong>_

_"How did Compa get all this, anyway?" Jacob asked as he handed the information back._

_"She's a nurse," IF replied. "I'm pretty sure she needs to know all that. And you should hold onto that."_

_"... Well, if you say so." Jacob pocketed the paper._

* * *

><p>"Yeah, I do," Jacob answered as he pulled the paper out and handed it to IF.<p>

"So why didn't you get anything for her?" IF questioned impatiently as she took the paper from him.

"Because I can't read that crap. I don't know what the sizes part means or how it's relevant to what pyjamas I should get her."

Gust's eyes were open wide. "A boy who cannot understand measurements?"

IF couldn't quite believe it. "... Are you even human?"

Jacob groaned. "Are we gonna be here all day?"

IF rubbed her forehead. "Don't worry about it, just... leave it to me." With that, she sought out the pyjamas.

With all their items gathered, the party made their way to the main counter, which was being tended to by a silhouette that looked exactly like that middle-aged Avenir employee that recruited their help a couple of times back on Lastation. "Ah, hello. Is that what you're buying today?"

"All of it." IF put the clothes on the counter.

The silhouette then examined them all one by one. "Excellent choices. Although isn't it a bit cold for summer pyjamas?"

"I hate pants," Jacob answered.

"Well, to each their own. Anyway, this comes to 20,000 credits."

"Oh Gods, I forgot how expensive clothes were," Jacob answered.

"You can't pay?"

"Yeah we can," responded IF. "It just takes a bite out of the budget."

"Ah, I see."

However, Gust looked unsatisfied with the deal. "A_hem_."

His attention caught, the silhouette looked over the counter. "Oh, uh... is something wrong?"

"Could I look at items again, please?"

"Oh, sure, here you go." The silhouette handed the clothes over to the alchemist who then proceeded to inspect them closely.

Gust then looked back up at him with childish disappointment. "20,000 credits? All up?"

"Yeah. Shorts are 10,000 and the sleepwear's 5,000 each."

Gust looked at the items again before looking back at the silhouette. "I think it could be cheaper than that."

Jacob and IF looked at each other with eyes that asked '_What is she doing?_'

It was possible that the silhouette raised an eyebrow as he chuckled, amused. "You think so, huh?"

"Yup," Gust responded confidently before tracing one of her glove-clad fingers over the shorts ever so delicately. "Look closely. Single straight seams unravel more easily than serged or double straight. Conspicuously light. Not entirely good for cold weather. Clothes made by supplier, correct?"

The silhouette had his arms crossed by this point. Being a silhouette, his expression was impossible to read. However, he seemed rather displeased. "Very much so. Why do you ask?"

"Shorts not bad but definitely not worth 10,000 credits. Gust estimates... 7,000 credits."

Jacob, IF and Nisa didn't dare to move. Even Jacob knew that 3,000 credits wasn't exactly anything to sneeze at and to ask for such an amount to be deducted from the price of something was definitely asking for trouble.

The shopkeeper seemed to think the same. "A thirty percent discount? That's a lot you're asking."

"Potentially flawed goods. Now, what about sleepwear..."

"Okay, okay, okay..." The male stopped her before she began inspecting the pyjamas and took the clothes back. "Look, thirty percent is a bit much. I can, however, give you a twenty-five percent discount, and on all these items. How's that?"

Gust thought this over for a moment. Finally, she smiled and said "Acceptable."

The silhouette's posture relaxed. "Okay, that comes to 15,000 credits all up."

"Thanks." After paying the required amount of credits, Gust gave the clothes to Jacob, who then placed them in his disc, and walked with the party out into the main mall again.

"Okay. Do we have any other business here?" the alchemist asked.

"Gust, that was amazing!" Nisa loudly praised. "How did you learn to do that?"

Gust was caught off-guard by Nisa's praise but only for an instant. "Ah, well, Gust has been in business for long time. Learned many tricks."

"You got us a twenty-five percent discount with a complete stranger just by talking," noted IF with a very admiring smile. "That has to be something to be proud of."

Even though she remained calm, Jacob could tell Gust was on the verge of bursting with glee. "In fairness, shopkeeper was more lenient than most."

"So you're saying you can't do that all the time?" Jacob asked with a smile of his own.

"Gust never said that," said Gust with a proud grin.

"I like you already."

"So do I," repeated IF. "On top of having a goddess, a really strong heroine, a nurse and a tactician in my party, we now have an alchemist that can save us huge amounts of money on top of making us items. Is there anything we can't do?"

"No. I don't believe so," Jacob answered.

* * *

><p>After traversing the frozen suspiciously-not-tundra for the fifth time, the party returned to the motel room. Like before, Compa was sitting beside Neptune's bed. "Hey Compa, we're back," announced IF.<p>

The nurse-in-training looked back at the door and was pleasantly surprised to see the rest of the party. "Oh, welcome back!"

Jacob looked outside the window. "You know, it always feels like we're higher up than we actually are."

"I've been getting that impression all morning," Compa responded. "It's beginning to make me feel ill... By the way, Neptune's not awake yet."

It could've been Fate spiting the nurse that moment when Neptune started stirring. "Mm..."

Jacob raised an eyebrow at the waking CPU. "You were saying, Compa?"

Gust looked at Neptune with a curious gaze. "Quick sleep. Perhaps goddesses have higher metabolism than regular humans?"

"A-Anyway, how was shopping?" Compa asked, flustered.

"Better than we could've imagined. I'll explain when Neptune wakes up," answered IF.

After a few moments, the purple-haired goddess sat up in her bed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Like before, she was wearing her jacket. "Whoa... how long was I out?" Neptune blinked a few times to wake herself up.

"Good morning, Nep-Nep. Are you feeling better?"

Remembering that she once felt sick, she came to the realisation that she didn't feel sick anymore. "Yeah... Yeah, I am! It's gone!" She looked towards Compa but found Jacob, Nisa, IF and Gust as well. "Hey, who's the girl?"

"Neptune, this is Gust," Jacob introduced. "She's the one who made you the cold medicine and she's joined the party."

"Really? That's super!" Neptune sprightly hopped out of her bed and made her way towards the shorter girl. "So Gust, was it? I think I'm gonna call you Gusty."

Jacob sighed. "Neptune, what's wrong with just Gust?"

"It's okay! Gust not mind," the alchemist assured.

"Neptune, you have to hear this!" said Nisa. "We went shopping while you were asleep and bought 20,000 credits in clothing. Gust, however, managed to persuade the shopkeeper to discount our purchases by twenty-five percent!"

Neptune was awed. "Whoa! Really?"

"Easy target," claimed Gust even as she hid her pride. "Nothing special."

"So did you get me anything? Huh? Huh?" she pestered IF as she stood right in front of her.

"We did! Now get away from me." IF lightly pushed Neptune a few steps backwards. "Yeah, we got some clothes for you. Jacob's got them, in fact." She glanced his way. "Jacob?"

"Gotcha." As Jacob reached into his disc, Neptune watched in anticipation for what goodies would come out of it. Her mind was going a million miles a second as she tried to figure out what he got her.

When Jacob finally pulled out the short shorts, Neptune could not have been more disappointed. "Oh no! I ain't wearing shorts and there's nothing you can say or do to make me!" she defiantly declared.

"Neptune," Jacob commenced, already tired of this, "we can't exactly have you run around flashing whoever happens to be behind you whenever you bend forward. Plus, it's freezing cold outside. Do you want to get sick again?"

"So what if I get sick? Gusty can just whip up another remedy and I'll be up and going again."

"Gust is not medicine-dispensing machine," the alchemist said indignantly. "Ingredients valuable. Should not be wasted on what can be prevented in first place."

Neptune pouted, not at all budging from her previous statement.

"My dear sister, please. I'd hate for you to endure such pain, again..." Nisa pleaded.

"I understand how you feel, Nep-Nep, but this is for your own good," Compa gently explained.

After a few more seconds of keeping a straight face and stance, Neptune's head finally slumped. "Okay, okay... I'll wear the stupid shorts."

"Thank you," said Jacob.

* * *

><p>Later that day, after Neptune had stopped sulking over the shorts, the party had decided to raid a dungeon that was on the map that the Chamberlain gave to them. This particular dungeon was, at the very least, very unique. Well, compared to the previous dungeons at any rate. The main path of the medieval castle-esque dungeon was covered in olive and brown tiles and was separated from the brick walls by lanes of smaller pink-ish tiles that also held tall stone pillars that supported the roof. Lining the walls were arch windows that had pink light-emitting lamps situated on each side of them and, on the odd occasion, glowing six-petalled pink flower symbols. The party wasn't paying any attention to this, though.<p>

"I don't think those colours work," said Jacob as he looked at Neptune's shorts as she once again took point.

"Oh, that's what you were staring at," answered IF. "Have to say, yeah, I could've made a better choice."

Jacob thought for a moment. "What if we just swapped the colours around? Teal with a white trim."

"Sounds a bit basic. What about teal with a violet trim?"

"Hm... Nah, doesn't work. What about teal with a cyan trim?"

"Sounds a bit better... What about navy blue with a green trim?"

"Doesn't really work with her hoodie. How about... navy blue with a violet trim?"

"Maybe we should just make the whole thing teal."

Both of them thought for a second.

"You know, there's nothing wrong with the basics. Let's stick with teal and a white trim," Jacob offered again.

"Yeah, sounds good."

Finally, a random encounter broke the monotony. The three monsters that appeared were-

"Final release!"

- so quickly defeated by Neptune's Neptune Break that Jacob couldn't figure out what they were.

Gust noticed something that intrigued her, however. "That is a strange sword."

"That's the Mech Sword, Armas," Compa explained. "It's a test model that a friend over in Lastation wanted us to test for the Lastation Tech Expo."

"Ya like it?" Neptune asked as she walked up to Gust and showed her the advanced weapon.

Gust analysed the deactivated hilt. "Gust does. Good weapon?"

"Well, for a sword to be shown at a Tech Expo, it's surprisingly weak compared to what you can get in stores," answered IF. "We're keeping in touch with Chian to tell her about any flaws we come across. So far, we've told her that it needs better stats and a cutting edge. Can you think of anything?"

Gust shook her head. "Gust is not engineer. Like Lastation Tech Expo candidates nonetheless."

"It can't be helped. We've covered pretty much all the weaknesses so I think we're good anyway."

And so the party continued to trek through the dungeon, Neptune Neptune Breaking anything that came their way while the rest of the party stood and played rock-paper-scissors to stop getting bored all the while, when...

"Oh my _GOD!_"

Jacob's shout got everyone else on the defensive. Neptune activated Armas once more, IF got out her claws, Nisa extended the energy blade of her prinny gun and Gust pulled out a brown broom. Compa didn't draw her syringe as she was too frightened.

"What is it? Where is it?" IF questioned.

"Jacob, what's the matter?" Nisa asked.

"Get it away from me!" Compa cried.

"This dungeon has _stairs!_" Jacob shouted.

Indeed it did. In the right turn ahead of the party, there were brown stairs with short brown railings. However, they only lead to an elevated section of the floor that was elevated by a black inverted dome to halfway between the floor and the roof and there was another set of stairs to the right of the platform that just lead back down to the actual floor. What's more, the stairs could be circumvented by trekking on the pink section of the floor that was in no way vertically changed since they entered the dungeon. In short, the stairs were completely useless. The party seemed to know how pointless it all was as they looked at Jacob with consistently high amounts of disbelief.

"... Stairs," IF repeated. "You scared the crap out of us because of _stairs_."

"Sorry about that," Jacob apologised. "It's just, well, so far, all the dungeons except for the snowy forest were pretty much just elaborate corridors without so much as a carpet. Now, there are stairs. Now, don't get me wrong, we've had stairs since the fifth generation of gaming. It's just that this is a hell of an innovation as far as Gamindustri goes."

Gust turned to Compa. "What is Jacob talking about?"

"Oh! Don't worry about it," Compa replied with a slight bit of worry. "He likes to talk."

"Is Jacob insulting Gamindustri?"

"Yes..." Compa sighed. "He does that a lot."

IF still looked a bit irritated at Jacob. "Don't do that again. Now, let's get moving."

The party continued progressing through the dungeon when they came across something else.

"Goodness gracious, there are also stairs that go down."

"Jacob, shut up," IF snapped.

The party continued progressing through the dungeon further when they finally came across the boss monster. Unfortunately, it was no Guard Vermin. It didn't even look anywhere near as threatening. It was just a palette-swapped version of the Blue Shadow that the party sans Gust and Nisa encountered in Weird Sci-Fi Place #1 the day Jacob got out of the hospital. This palette-swap had red fur with purple claws.

"You know, I remember this thing looking more threatening the first time we saw it," Jacob remarked.

IF looked at Gust. "Hey, you can fight, right? What exactly can you do?"

Gust shook her head. "I cannot fight, sorry. Gust requires a battle ticket to be bought from the Lastation Store for the low low price of three dollars forty-five."

Jacob groaned and rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. We just won't use you."

"Hey!" Nisa shouted with indignation. "When I said that I required a battle ticket, you threw a tantrum and dropped me onto a Gyuki! Why is she exempt from your draconian practices?"

"That would be because, unlike you, we did not recruit Gust for her combat skills. Gust can provide us with items to make dungeon crawling easier and, as an added bonus, she can get awesome discounts. Neither of those things need a battle ticket." Jacob looked over to the alchemist. "At least, I don't believe so."

"Gust provide alchemy skill and discounts free of charge to party," Gust informed with a winning smile.

"And there you go."

Nisa's fists were clenched so hard that it seemed like she'd tear her own gloves.

"So how are we going to take on this monster?" IF asked Jacob while the monster was still in its idle animation.

"Dominant strategy, as always. Neptune and Nisa fight the thing head on, you use your speed to provide close-range support while Compa and I provide support fire."

Gust looked at Jacob with surprise. "A deep strategy for just a monster."

Jacob shrugged. "It gets the job done more quickly," he said before lifting himself into the air with his jetpack.

Gust watched him with even more surprise. "So that's what it does..."

"How about we don't worry about strategy this time?" Neptune suggested. "Neptune Break can probably slice and dice this guy into a million pieces."

"Fair enough," agreed Jacob Go right ahead."

"Alrighty!"

Neptune stepped forward and held Armas to her body, its energy blade pointing up and between her closed eyes. Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she raised her sword into the air at the same speed, a fiery purple aura engulfing the energy blade at the same time. Once more, like a bullet, she sliced through the red wolf multiple times in quick succession at speeds that could only be normally reached by fighter jets. After perhaps eleven hits, Neptune paused for a moment to finish her assault with a final, massive, explosive slash. When Neptune returned to the ground, she looked like she was just warmed up. The boss, on the other hand, looked like it had taken an extreme amount of damage.

"Super Dimension Game Party, finish it!" Neptune ordered as she dramatically pointed Armas towards her opponent.

At once, the party unleashed their might on the crimson dog. It didn't take long at all for it to burst into data in defeat.

"Did you call us 'Super Dimension Game Party'?" Gust inquired after their victory.

"Yeah, she did," Jacob responded as he landed on the ground. "I find the name stupid as well, don't worry."

"Same here," IF chipped in, retracting her claws.

Nisa seemed offended. "Well, in my opinion, I think it is a fantastic name!"

"In your opinion, it is a fantastic idea to prance about in this frigid cold weather in a legless jumpsuit with your zipper undone," IF returned. "I brought a hot pack. What's your excuse?"

"Please don't fight!" Compa pleaded. "Anyway, it doesn't seem like there's anything here. Let's go back."

Jacob sighed. "A bloody waste of time, that was..."

Having cleared the dungeon, the party turned around with the intent to go back the way they came.

"... Hold it."

A short girl stood in their way. She had very messy light blue hair that had a tendency to splay outwards from her head as well as two very long tendril-esque strands going down to her stomach. She wore a white leotard in addition to white leggings, sleeves and gauntlets, leaving only her shoulder blades, upper thighs and upper biceps uncovered. However, her gauntlets were actually claws with white tips and diamond-shaped joint coverings as well as disjointed circular cuffs that had two parallel black spikes protruding backwards parallel to her forearm. Even more surprising about this girl was her wings that floated behind her. They looked like square 9s with a sky blue "head" and a pink "shaft". The most distinguishing aspect of her, however, was her blood red eyes. It was the irises. White ovoids with a thin U shape indicated a CPU. As did everything else before.

"Hey Blanc," Jacob greeted as if he came across one of his classmates in school.

White Heart seemed a bit perplexed that Jacob deduced her identity but she recovered quickly. "I take it Noire told you about my HDD form as well?"

"Well, your eyes, your wings and your attire, which look like Neptune's and Noire's when they go HDD, kind of give you away but she did tell us about your HDD form as well. So are you here to kill Neptune to become the True Goddess?"

"... You and the other outsiders can leave," she said with her usual quiet voice. "This is between me and Neptune alone."

Nisa stepped forward and drew her prinny blade again. "I refuse. You choose to fight one of us, you choose to fight all of us."

"That's right!" shouted Compa with determination as she pulled out her syringe. "We're a party. You'll have to go through us, first!"

Even though she didn't look like it, White Hear was definitely a little bit peeved at this determination. Still looking very stoic, she drew her weapon. Had her opponents been anyone else, their knees would probably be shaking right now. White Heart wielded a massive white axe that was as tall as she was. The shaft bent at several places, providing hand guards for the two grips that White Heard held tightly with one hand on each. The head of the axe was, of course, the most imposing aspect. There was a devil-like blue horn on the back of it, a revolver chamber was in the middle of it and the edge, while a bit wide and uneven, still looked like it could cleave through just about everything.

"... Fine. I'll take on all of you." She then looked at Gust and a spark of hostility could be sensed from her. "I especially look forward to crushing_ you_."

"Huh? What?" Gust was confused at White Heart's aggression being directed at her.

IF seemed a bit curious. "... Huh. Do you and Gust have a history together?"

"I'm curious about that as well," said Jacob.

"Kiss my ass." This time, White Heart's face indicated her agitation. "Now, roll over and die."

Gust seemed rather frightened. "Ah, help! Gust does not want to be revolver-axe food!"

"Oh no," Jacob droned with absolutely no concern on his face whatsoever. "Whatever shall we do?"

"No, Gust," IF said, jumping on the deadpan train. "If only she had some form of self-defence that she could fall back on to defend herself."

Nisa joined in. "If only she could fight back. Sniff. Weep. If only. Wipe eyes."

"Worst party ever!" Gust cried out in frustration.

White Heart took that moment to zoom over to the diminutive alchemist and swing her very large axe horizontally.

"_Eep!_" Gust cried out as she held up her broom in a futile attempt to protect herself.

Fortunately, the axe never came close to her. Blocking the axe from gaining any momentum from the start was the katana held up Purple Heart, who put herself between the two females.

"I would prefer it if you picked on opponents of your own strength," Purple Heart said before attempting to kick White Heart's side. White Heart, however, pushed herself away from the kick and distanced herself from her purple adversary. Both of the CPUs focused on each other firmly, their weapons ready to strike at a moment's notice. Gust took this opportunity to get away.

Jacob noticed something odd about White Heart. While Purple Heart looked as serious as normal and looked at White Heart no differently than she looked at Arfoire or Black Heart, who she fought purely because they threatened the safety of her and her party and had absolutely no personal reasons behind it, White Heart seemed absolutely enraged. Outwardly, she seemed to be as stoic as Purple Heart or Black Heart but Jacob could tell that, underneath that exterior, pure undiluted anger lay dormant. This fury wasn't a natural thing for her, something that she exuded all the time; it was directed exclusively at Purple Heart.

Before Jacob could analyse any further, White Heart was distracted by the sudden appearance of a massive glowing magic circle that span in the air beside her.

"What the-"

"Take this!" Gust shouted as she stabbed forward with her broom, causing a beam of light to shoot out from the circle through Lowee's CPU right before the circle disappeared. After the beam thinned out and dissipated after a second, explosions could be heard but not seen around White Heart, knocking her about and kicking up strange green-and-blue-ish dust stuff off the ground that floated in the air before vanishing. White Heart was brought down onto one knee.

"Whoa..." Compa was awed by the powerful magic attack.

"Oh, so you're fighting now?" IF asked.

Gust looked _very_ annoyed at IF. "Gust cannot rely on party for defence. I must fight if I want to live."

"Good enough for me," said Jacob as he rose into the air. Aiming at the now levitating White Heart, he fired a Wide Roar at her. She noticed in the incredibly large bright red laser and flew to the side to evade. Jacob moved the laser to follow her but White Heart flew towards him and tried to shoulder-ram him. Jacob lifted himself out of the way, allowing White Heart to harmlessly fly by him. When she stopped herself mid-flight, Purple Heart arrived to slash at White Heart's arm. White Heart heard her coming and turned around in time to block it, leaving the white and purple goddesses in a lock.

Jacob saw it again. The hatred burning within White Heart. The hatred aimed entirely at Purple Heart. She hid it to the best of her ability but she evidently couldn't keep up the façade in the heat of battle. Her eyes ever so slightly shook. Her lips tightened. With a snarl, she forced Purple Heart away from her, closed in while Purple Heart was still wide open and slammed her axe into her side.

"_Nep-Nep!_" Compa shouted in fear as Planeptune's CPU was sent flying. However, Purple Heart effortlessly recovered in the air before she hit the wall, showing that there was nothing to worry around.

Even behind her ice cold face, White Heart's surprise was easily seen by the party. "... How did you survive that?" she asked.

"You make it sound like you expected me to die. The truth is, your attack barely hurt me at all." Purple Heart didn't look at all injured as she readied her sword again. "Blanc, how many levels lower are you than us?"

"... Hey... The monsters here took much more damage than I expected... And mister boss monster didn't even put up a fight... This is a low level dungeon!" Compa realised.

IF seemed to just realise it then as well. "Hey, yeah... It's like how we started off in Lastation."

"... You think that matters?" White Heart responded with barely restrained anger. "You could be level 100 and I could be level 1. I'm going to end you anyway."

"Oh no you don't!" Nisa shouted as she jabbed the side of White Heart's face, knocking her back. When she recovered, Nisa pressed on with an uppercut that White Heart dodged but she couldn't dodge Nisa's hook that followed immediately after. White Heart was sent spinning, something that she used to her advantage when she brought her axe around to smash Nisa. The heroine dodged under it and IF took advantage of the opening by hitting White Heart's face with a flying kick. When she landed, IF kicked her in the stomach, bringing her head down so that IF could heel kick it. White Heart was sent reeling again and Compa contributed by slapping her face as hard as she could when she stumbled close enough in her direction, knocking her to the ground.

Instinctively, Compa stepped back and aimed her syringe. As White Heart slowly got up, she looked at Compa with her aimed weapon, IF and Nisa who didn't have their weapons but were in melee fighting stances, Gust with her broom and Jacob and Purple Heart who were floating in the air.

"... Bye." White Heart, heavily injured, flew quickly down the corridor and to the exit of the level.

Jacob and Purple Heart landed on the ground now that there were no more threats and the latter transformed back into her human form. "You know, I miss the days when bosses put up a fight," Neptune commented. "These six on one fights just take away any form of challenge."

"Shouldn't we chase her?" Compa asked.

"What for?" Nisa asked. "She has nothing we desire and she refuses to answer our questions. There is nothing to gain from her capture."

Gust put her broom away. "Gust is still upset at deception," she said, annoyed.

"Oh boo hoo," IF responded without a care in the world. "You're in a party now. You need to pull your weight."

"But Gust synthesises items and gets amazing discounts!" she whined. "It only fair to be paid to fight too!"

"Yeah, no. Enjoy the labour. By the way, how did you know her?"

"Gust doesn't know her," the alchemist claimed. "I never seen her before."

"Oh, you probably don't know. That was White Heart."

That was a definite shocker. "What? I attacked Lady White Heart?!"

"Yup. Enjoy the revelation. Now do you know her?"

Gust pursed her lips. "... Gust sold item to Lady White Heart once."

Compa and Nisa became interested in the conversation. "What was it?" the nurse asked.

"Special medicine. Meant to increase resistance to cold weather."

"I can see where this is going," remarked Jacob, who had also gained interest in the conversation as well as Neptune.

Gust rolled her eyes. "Prank. Actually powerful anti-depressant. Hi-Five Radio broadcasted how Lady White Heart hugged everyone she came across and spoke in song for entire day."

Everyone was stunned silent.

"... Is there a video of that online or something? Because I definitely want to see that," said IF.

"Audio broadcast only evidence of Lady White Heart's antics. Still, many people can attest to seeing and experiencing event."

"... A happy Blanc sounds scary," commented Compa.

"I am so gonna have to get the story from her one day!" Neptune declared. "Come on, let's go home!"

"Right behind you," responded Jacob as the party ventured back to where they entered the tower.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, that does it. It should not take 176 words to describe a character. There has got to be an easier way of doing this.<strong>

**Additionally, I am never writing about clothing or business again. This chapter was absolute HELL to write and the chances of me having not gotten something wrong somewhere are about the same as the sun spontaneously going supernova within the next five minutes. I am so thankful that I know many people who know even the slightest bit about anything else. I'm also thankful to have played Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale and have even the slightest grasp on how JRPG businesses work.**

**Additionally, I know this is a very boring and slow chapter. Sorry about that. Hopefully... oh, who am I kidding, the next chapter's not going to have much in it, either. I don't even know what I'm going to call it yet.**


	22. Circle in the Snow

**You know, these review responses take up so much unnecessary space. I think what I'm going to do now is personally respond to the reviews that I can via PM while using this space for the multitude of anonymous/guest reviewers that I have.**

**Saturn56: Alright then. How about we skip the girls altogether and go right to JacobXStairs?**

**Saturn56: I don't think that'd be particularly comfortable.**

**Crimsonheresy: Perhaps. Maybe. You'll have to find out. :] Also, I have no idea; I'm just winging it.**

**Eisenfaust: Yep, yep, maybe, you might find out, you already asked one, maybe, thank you. Here it is.**

**Guest: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... shucks. Thank you very much.**

**Saturn56: You know, I think it'd be best in future if you just kept your reviews in just one review per chapter. If I ever get 300 reviews, I'll have to count off all your duplicates because that's just cheating otherwise. :(**

**SS7x3: Indeed. And I will, thank you. I understand that but this fanfic is more about the adventure. In any event, I doubt anyone wants to see a self-insert dramatically fall from the sky Kingdom Hearts style to join Neptune's epic quest to retrieve the Eggs of Nepgear's Divine Pancakes during Gamindustri's equivalent of Black Friday (most likely Purple Friday).**

**Guest (the other one): It'll be posted when it's done. Like, right now. Sorry about the wait; I had a lot of problems with this chapter.**

**By the way, thank you for all your continued support. In return, allow me to say that this chapter will not be as boring or meaningless as the previous one.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 22: Circle in the Snow<strong>

Getting back to the main landmass from the tower dungeon proved to be quite uneventful for the party. They reluctantly exited the dungeon to meet the cold Lowee air, eagerly hopped in the warm gondola car once they got to it and then reluctantly got out of it once it reached its destination.

"Well, that didn't help much," said IF. "Now what do we do?"

"Maybe we should go back to Entremets to ask if there are any other dungeons with strong monsters in them?" Compa suggested.

"I don't think so. That was White Heart we fought back there. I doubt she'd be in such a good mood to let us in."

"Oh, okay..."

Then Jacob spoke. "Actually, Neptune, I've been meaning to ask you something in regards to that fight."

The rest of the party turned to him in intrigue. "Huh? What is it?" Neptune asked.

"When you fought White Heart, did you..." Jacob paused, trying to figure out the right words to use, "... feel anything?"

Neptune blinked once in confusion. "Feel what? Well, I didn't feel my blood pumping. I didn't even use Neptune Break to have a good fight and she still went down too easily."

"Not that, Neptune. The thing is, I think she was angry at you. Like, really angry. Hard to put into words."

"She did snap at us back at the Basilicom," IF reminded. "Also, Black Heart said she was violent and prone to lashing out. Maybe this is normal for her?"

"Maybe. It's just... I got the impression it was very personal."

"Do you want to go to Entremets and ask?" Nisa inquired.

"Yeah but not right now. As IF said, she's probably still a bit peeved from that last encounter."

"We should probably pay her a visit tomorrow," Compa suggested. "That way, we can talk to her again and get the dungeon info at the same time."

"Not to mention the story of her being so happy. I can't wait to hear that one!" said Neptune.

"That's if she actually wants to talk to us again," warned IF.

"Well, what choice do we have?" said Jacob. "There's nothing going on here so the only way we're going to get that Key Fragment is... well, honestly, I don't know. We're just winging it at this point. Still, it's most likely that Blanc is at the centre of it so we need to get to her to get to the Key Fragment."

"And that is going to have to wait until tomorrow," IF added.

* * *

><p>The day passed by rather uneventfully. Nisa spent the rest of it saving any distressed individual she could find, Gust went to sell items and the rest of the party just went back to the motel to play video games. Gust returned to the motel with a not exactly modest number of credits to add to the party's funds, which earned her plenty of praise from the rest of the party. Nisa returned with a proud smile of her face, telling everyone about how she saved a father and his daughter from the harassment of two delinquents. To this story, the party went "Oh, that's good". Nisa's spirits were a bit deflated after that.<p>

Now it was time for the party to go to bed.

"Um, Jake?" began Compa with hesitation.

"What is it, Compa?" responded the male.

"There are only three beds here."

"Yeah, so what?"

"There are six of us."

"I figured that out."

"Jacob, you're going to have to share with someone."

Jacob dejectedly hung his head. "I know... I just didn't want to face it yet."

Gust looked at him with curiosity. For sleeping, she wore a long orange dress with white frills on the collar and the ends of the sleeves that were long enough to obscure her hands. She took off her massive gloves but she still held onto her strange rabbit hat. "What is wrong?"

"Jacob doesn't want to catch any cooties so he barks at everyone to let him have his own bed," Neptune answered before making her way to her bed.

"I don't believe in cooties," Jacob snapped. "I'm just a firm believer that it'd be immoral for someone like me to share a bed with a girl who is at least three years younger than me."

"Oh for crying out loud Jacob, you're just sharing a bed with a fellow party member," responded IF, exasperated.

"No he isn't," replied Gust.

Jacob looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"Tada!" Once more from, through the eyes of anyone who didn't know any better, out of nowhere, Gust pulled out a sleeping bag. Given that it was cyan-blue with rabbit faces all over it, it was most likely custom-made especially for her. "Gust brings it everywhere! Travelling alchemists need places to sleep, after all!"

Nisa raised a hand. "I don't suppose you have any more of those, do you?"

"Actually, yes. Only one, though." Gust pulled out another sleeping bag. This one was brown and had no pictures on it but it looked just as inviting as Gust's sleeping bag.

"Superb!" Nisa punched up into the air with glee. "Jacob, you may use that sleeping bag."

"Wait, what? Why me?" Jacob asked, taken off-guard by the sudden order.

"As you know, Neptune has a habit of taking the covers off when she sleeps."

"Hey, I said I was sorry!" Neptune cut in. "Jeez!"

"In any case," Nisa continued, "this habit is unhealthy in Lowee's climate. Therefore, I will take your bed."

"Now wait just a moment," IF interrupted, walking up to Nisa. "Why do you get to take his bed? I have to sleep next to Compa and she snores."

"Y-You don't like sleeping next to me, IF...?" Compa asked with tearful eyes.

"Compa, you snore. Sleeping next to you is really hard," IF answered her without a single bit of remorse before getting back to Nisa. "You like Neptune anyway. Just be more assertive and keep the covers on and you've lost nothing."

"The covers stay off!" Neptune determinedly argued.

"You'll get sick again." IF countered.

"I don't need to worry about that. I have pyjamas now!" Neptune showcased with her arms the new pyjamas that the rest of the party sans Compa got for her. Even though she preferred to sleep in her underwear, she did sort of like her white shirt with green polka dots and her green short shorts with smaller white polka dots.

"Neptune, those are a stall at best."

"Do you understand what I have to go through?" Nisa asked IF.

"I don't care. I want Jacob's bed."

"Oi, hang on," Jacob interrupted, causing IF and Nisa to turn to him. "What makes you think I'm just giving up my bed?"

"Because I will make your next training session _very_ painful if you don't," Nisa warned with a clenched fist and very determined eyes.

Jacob wasn't scared but he knew he wasn't winning this one. "... Damn it."

"But only if you don't give it up to me," Nisa added without hostility.

"Alrighty then, Nisa's having my bed and I'm taking the sleeping bag," Jacob determined instantly.

"... Damn it." Even though IF didn't argue, she still looked annoyed.

* * *

><p>"I still can't believe they force people to go through that stupid dungeon every time they need to go to the Basilicom," Jacob complained as they exited Dis Snow Forest the next day to arrive at Entremets.<p>

"Jacob, stop whining," said IF.

"And why are you complaining?" asked Neptune. "I did all the monster killing! All you did was complain about how cold it was."

"Everyone was complaining about how cold it was," Jacob countered.

"Except for IF and Gust," Gust answered.

"Hey, I saw you shivering!" Nisa accused the short alchemist.

Gust lightly blushed in embarrassment. "At least I wasn't complaining."

As the party approached the Central Basilicom, the Chamberlain who was at the door noticed them. "Oh, welcome to the Basilicom," she greeted normally.

"Good morning, Miss Chamberlain!" Compa returned cheerfully. "Is it okay if we see Lady White Heart?"

"Sadly, no," Financier responded. "She's refused to see any visitors today because she's in another one of her moods. Although, given how she was badly injured by enemies she wouldn't tell me about, I can't exactly blame her."

"Well, what if we said it was an urgent matter?" Nisa inquired.

Financier shook her head. "She said no exceptions. I'm truly sorry you came all this way out here for nothing but there's nothing I can do."

"Hey, no worries. No use cryin' over spilt hot chocolate, after all. Still, since we came all the way out here in this cold, can you tell us about the story of happy Blanc, please?" Neptune asked.

"You know her name?" the Chamberlain exclaimed in surprise. "How- oh right, you know her." She then let out a small chuckle. "So you've heard about that one, eh? Alright then, it all started one day when the weather was colder than normal. There was even a snowstorm!"

"Thank you but we're rather busy," Jacob interrupted.

"No we're not!" argued Neptune. "I wanna hear the story!"

Jacob groaned. "Neptune, can I take you aside for a bit?"

"Hmph. Fine." Neptune moodily followed Jacob as they walked away from the somewhat confused group before stopping several metres away. "What is it? Tales don't tell themselves, you know," she said with crossed arms.

"Do you want me to sing to myself?" Compa called.

"No thank you! We're fine!" Jacob called back before facing Neptune again. "Now, Neptune, I have an idea on how to lure out Blanc. If we can't get inside the Basilicom, we'll just get Blanc to get out of it."

Neptune's surprise completely replaced her previous irritation. "Whoa, really? What is it?"

"How about we gather the others? We're going to head to the forest for this and I'd rather not explain this twice."

"Sure thing. I hate it when I tell Iffy to pick up chocolate pudding from the store and she never does it."

"Not the same thing, Neptune."

The two of them returned to the party shortly after. "Alright ladies, we're going back into the forest," Neptune ordered.

"And why would we do that?" IF responded, completely deadpan.

"Because there's something we just gotta do there! Jacob's got an idea, you know."

"Well, that explains it." IF turned to the other party members. "You heard her. We're leaving."

"Aw, I wanted to hear the story..." Compa complained.

"We'll have plenty of opportunities in the future to hear it," said Jacob. "We can just come around another day. This, on the other hand, can't wait. Now let's go."

* * *

><p>Jacob led the party through the snow-covered forest that surrounded the Basilicom. It wasn't part of Dis Snow Forest so there were no monsters here. At least, that's what he guessed. He still had yet to figure out the fine details of the mechanics of this world.<p>

"So what's this brilliant idea of yours?" asked IF as the party walked between the forest's trees.

"Elementary, my dear IF," responded Jacob.

"Lame."

"Shut up. Anyway, seeing as we can't get access to Blanc, we're going to lure her out to us."

"How- ah!" Compa tripped on a tree root but managed to not fall. "Sorry. How are you going to do that?"

"First, we need to find a clearing."

"You mean like this one?" said Nisa, causing the rest of the party to turn their attention to a snow-covered glade to their right. Being a mostly empty space a bit more than ten metres wide, it was exactly what Jacob was looking for.

"Yeah, that's right. Thanks." Jacob walked into the clearing. "Everyone, take cover behind the trees. What I want to do is draw out Blanc for a quick chat and I think it'll go better if I'm the only one here."

"So why bring us?" Gust inquired.

"She's a CPU with a temper. I want a contingency in place just in case she decides I'd make a good stress ball person." Jacob rotated his wrists before lifting himself into the air. "Now, stay low and make sure you're not seen. Here's where I lure her in..."

* * *

><p>After the party left Entremets, the Chamberlain let out a disappointed sigh and went back inside. She was looking forward to sharing the story of her favourite day of work and then they had to say their farewells and leave. Still, there was work to be done, boring though it was, and it wasn't going to do itself. At least, not without the proper spell. She started by going to the library of monster and dungeon info to the left of the Basilicom's entrance. She didn't expect to find her CPU there, taking a book off the shelf.<p>

"Lady White Heart, what are you doing here?" Financier asked in surprise.

"... Getting the book I asked you to get me," Blanc responded with her usual quiet voice. "What the hell kept you?"

The silhouette remembered how Blanc had less than favourable feelings for the party that was just at their door. "N-Nothing. It's entirely my fault, my lady," she lied. "So what do you intend on doing with that book?"

Blanc had already opened the book and was reading it while she walked towards her room with Financier following close behind her. "I need to do some research."

"May I ask on what?"

"No." Blanc opened the door to her room and went inside. "I want to be left alone."

"... Understood."

Blanc's Chamberlain shut the door, leaving her alone with her book. Blanc lied down on her crimson rug before flicking through her pages until she got to a section titled 'Dragons'. She went over the pages one by one, reading every description and analysing every picture as she came across them, but every turned page only made her irritated mood even worse. "... Why can't I find it?"

Then, completely from out of nowhere, a red glow from outside covered the room. Blanc instantly turned to look out the glass dome and saw a large red laser streaking through the sky for a few moments before fading away. Even though it was present for only a few seconds, Blanc recognised the attack immediately. Without wasting any time, Blanc headed out of the door in her chambers that lead to outside the Basilicom and transformed. With her flight, she rose into the air and surveyed her surroundings. She knew where the attack travelled from so she looked in that direction but she couldn't find anything out of place.

"I know you're here, asshole..." White Heart said, more to herself than anyone else. "Now where are you?"

Her question was answered by another wide laser shooting directly upwards from a point in the forest she could see clearly. White Heart narrowed her eyes and flew in that direction.

* * *

><p>"Jacob, what was that?" asked IF with disapproval. "I think the entire world knows we're here now!"<p>

"Doesn't matter," Jacob responded as he stood in the middle of the clearing. "I think she's coming. Hide."

Right after the girls made sure they were concealed by the trees, Lowee's CPU herself floated down directly in front of him. "Hi Blanc," Jacob greeted casually. "Good to see you got the message."

"You have some nerve to call me out like that," White Heart returned.

"It was the only way I could think of to get you out here."

"What do you want?" White Heart snapped, even more agitated.

Jacob wasn't fazed at all. "I want to know the history behind you and Neptune."

"What do you want to know that you don't already? We're fighting so that one of us will become the True Goddess."

"Yeah, that's the thing, see. From that last fight we had, I got the impression there's something more, something bubbling under the surface. If you ask me, it seems like you have more personal reasons for wanting to get at Neptune. Want to talk about it?"

The CPU narrowed her red eyes at him. "... How about I ask you a question? Why, exactly, are you travelling with her?"

"I told you. We're going around the landmasses and getting Key Fragments to save the world."

"You're a human. You don't need to get involved in our affairs."

"I've got nothing better to do."

White Heart exhaled slightly in an attempt to calm herself. "... Fine. Assuming this quest of yours isn't a massive goose chase, why are you travelling with _Neptune?_"

"Firstly, she's the one who got me involved in all this to begin with. Secondly, she's the only one that Histoire can talk to telepathically so, if she wants to send an urgent message, we need Neptune otherwise we're screwed."

"But you know about the Key Fragments now. Why don't you get another goddess to help you find them?"

"We've already tried that. Twice. Both times, we got rejected and nearly killed."

"You really think we'd trust Neptune of all people? The only reason the people on her landmass haven't jumped ship is because they haven't seen how unreliable she is."

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "At the very least, she's going landmass hopping to find the MacGuffins. What are you doing to stop Momus?"

IF and Gust glanced nervously at each other.

A spark of rage flashed in the eyes of White Heart. "You're seriously calling Neptune a worker? She's a joke! All she ever does sit on her ass all day and play video games, waiting for her problems to unscrew themselves!"

"Funny you mention that," started Jacob with his arms crossed and a very neutral expression on his face, "since she's the one who's going outdoors to solve problems while you're the one sitting in your Basilicom doing whatever you do, hoping your scowl scares the problem away."

"_Oh, screw you!_" With a mighty pull, White Heart yanked her massive axe out of its pocket dimension and held it by its two separate handles. "You really think she's the best goddess? Even Vert actually gets more crap done than she does!"

Jacob rotated his wrists and then clenched his fists. With an intrepid face, he then put his hands up in a fighting stance. "I don't know about you but I don't think a good goddess completely flies off the handle at the slightest bit of criticism."

Absolutely livid, White Heart's grip tightened on her weapon. "Do you have a death wish, you asshole?!"

Jacob sighed. "Look, I don't want to fight. all I want to know is why you hate Neptune so much."

"Because she's a useless fat-ass! When she isn't playing video games, she's always going on about how she's the best. She's full of crap and she never _ever_ does a thing for her landmass! To her, it's all fun and games so that she can be adored! She doesn't give a shit about Planeptune!"

"You know, at the very least, she helps. Yeah, it's not always for the right reasons but she's a kind person who helps out those in need. Same goes for Noire, somewhat. You, on the other hand, refuse to help others due to petty grudges and you get angry when someone calls you out on your bulldust."

"You _bastard..._" White Heart snarled as the two of them began strafing slowly around each other in the clearing. "You have no right to say that. What do you know? You're just a human. You have _no_ idea what being a goddess is like. You couldn't even imagine it."

"But I'm right, aren't I?"

White Heart stopped. So did Jacob. Jacob braced himself, ready to take whatever fury-fuelled force White Heart would unleash on him.

Surprisingly, White Heart exhaled and closed her eyes. "I've always said that we should never involve humans in CPU matters..." But then her eyes opened, resolution burning inside them as she readied her axe, "... but you brought this on yourself."

Jacob, with his narrowed eyes, merely gestured with his left index and middle fingers for her to bring it on, which she did with abandon. Noire was not exaggerating when she said that, while slow by a CPU's standards, White Heart was nothing if not a mobile threat, as shown by how she dashed forward and swung her axe horizontally. However, Jacob saw this coming. With perfect timing, he ducked under the axe and jabbed White Heart's exposed torso, bending White Heart over so that he could unleash an uppercut on White Heart's head, sending her stumbling backwards. Jacob then followed up the assault with five force balls for good measure, all but one hitting her torso.

When she finally recovered from the unexpected assault, she looked at Jacob, dumbfounded by how he managed to get a solid hit in. Jacob's response was a cocky smirk and the punching of his right fist into his left palm three times before he got back into his stance.

Snarling, White Heart slammed her axe into the ground, piercing it and making it hold her weapon for her, and charged at him before he could stop being confused about why she disarmed herself. Regardless, he still had enough of his wits about him to jump backwards to dodge her left jab and distance himself from her even further by flying back and up into the air. He wasted no time in shooting three energy balls at her, which she dodged by flying to the right. She retaliated by pulling out her handgun and shooting three bullets at him, which he blocked with his energy shield. Quickly, he descended to the ground and fired a Wide Roar at White Heart as soon as his feet touched the snow. The CPU didn't expect this and she defensively crossed her arms in front of her out of reflex even though it didn't protect her as the massive laser engulfed her. White Heart floated out of the attack coincidentally just as Jacob cancelled it, giving him enough time to notice her and put up another large shield as White Heart zoomed towards him and double-kicked his shield hard. While the kick never hit him directly, the impact still sent him flying off the ground nonetheless and into a nearby tree.

Jacob grunted in pain on impact. Once he fell to the ground face first, White Heart flew over his body, grabbed the back of his head and his jetpack and quickly drove him through the snow. After about ten seconds of this, she lifted him out of the snow and quickly flew up into the air with him. At a certain point, she stopped going upwards and grabbed him by the chin before flipping around. Once she was holding him in a fireman's carry with his back over her shoulders, she rapidly dropped feet-first towards the ground. Realising the danger, Jacob desperately activated his jetpack, causing the two of then to spin out of control mid-fall. Unfortunately, this only resulted in Jacob's back hitting the snow-covered ground while White Heart was completely unharmed.

White Heart stood up while Jacob just lied on his back. Looking around, she found her axe still embedded into the ground a short distance away. It took her about five seconds to fly over to it, take it out of the ground and fly back to her opponent. He had rolled himself over and was about to try and push himself off the ground when White Heart kicked him onto his back. As he looked at her, half angry and half frightened, she lowered the blade of her axe over him.

"... Who are you?" she asked, plain and simple.

"Huh...?" Jacob just had the wind knocked out of him so he couldn't say much.

"You're... different from us. The way you look, the way you talk... Are you even human?"

"I'm... as human as they come..." Jacob groaned.

White Heart was only annoyed even further. However, before she could press him for more information, a large magic circle appeared at the side of her. It didn't escape her or Jacob's notice.

"Not aga-"

"Musical Words!"

Once again, a magic beam shot through White Heart before explosive sound waves rocked White Heart's body and sent her flying back. Once again, a weird green-and-blue-ish dust substance was kicked up by the attack but it only disappeared. With White Heart having left Jacob's side, the spell-casting alchemist ran up to take her place.

"Jacob, are you okay?" Gust asked with concern.

"Just catching my breath..." Jacob pulled out a bottle of reflex and ingested its contents.

She looked at him sternly. "Why aren't you winning? You should be higher level than her."

Jacob grunted as he pushed himself up and off the ground. "Gust... there's something about me you don't know..."

Gust looked up at him with narrow, suspicious eyes. "What?"

"I really don't think this is the time, sorry..."

Jacob saw White Heart float into view with her axe at her side. She saw them as well and gripped her axe again with one hand on each grip. "... You again," she said with her gaze locked onto Gust.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me," Jacob began. "What exactly happened between you two? Something about anti-depressants?"

"_None of your business!_" White Heart roared. "Just roll over and die already!" She rushed towards the two of them and brought her axe straight down on them. The two of them dodged to the side and separated from each other, putting themselves on either side of the CPU. She lifted her axe and moved her body towards Jacob but, before she could close the distance between them, Nisa sprung out from the bushes without warning and delivered a flying kick right to White Heart's face. White Heart was knocked to the ground while Nisa fell with her. As White Heart collided with the snow in great pain, Nisa rolled when she landed and got back up again in no time.

"The hell...?" White Heart grunted as she held the back of her neck with her left hand while standing up to look at the heroine.

White Heart then found herself being pointed at by an overly-dramatic Nisa. "Did you honestly believe you would be fighting my student and our alchemist alone? Ha!" The heroine then pulled out her penguin-shaped gun and extended its energy blade. "I won't let you harm my comrades!"

"So there's three of you now..." White Heart muttered.

"Not quite." White Heart quickly turned towards the source of the voice and saw Purple Heart. From the bushes, IF and Compa also stepped out. Planeptune's transformed CPU did not look very happy at all and she held her purple katana like she was barely holding back from using it. "I'm here as well."

"... What do you want? Why can't you all just piss off?!" White Heart shouted.

"Because we need something," Purple Heart answered. "I want to know what your problem with me is, too. I didn't believe at first that you were hostile at me for reasons beyond wishing to obtain the title of True Goddess for yourself but, after listening to your exchange with Jacob, I find myself curious."

"And why should I tell you?"

"Because I want to know."

"Well, I'm not telling you!" White Heart readied her axe. "Shut up and fight me already!"

"... Fight you?" As Purple Heart's posture relaxed, a purple fire covered her blade. "I don't think so." Her other hand gripped her sword's handle and the other party members stepped back.

"I'm going to destroy you."

And then Purple Heart zoomed right through her opponent.

"AARGH!" screamed White Heart in pain as she was cut through.

Purple Heart zoomed again to another side of White Heart.

"ARGH!"

And again.

"ARGH!"

For every attack Purple Heart landed, a pained cry could be heard from White Heart. After nine more slashes, Purple Heart then executed her finisher: a downwards slash that ended with an explosion."

"_AAAARGH!_"

Neptune Break had concluded. White Heart was now against the ground, barely able to muster the strength to move. Purple Heart stood a short distance away from her, facing away with her sword at her side.

"Blanc, you cannot hope to win," said Purple Heart. "Even if it were just between me and you, I am of a higher level than you. If you still think you can defeat me, you are sorely mistaken."

White Heart coughed as she forced herself away from the ground. "You arrogant bitch... I swear... I will kill you... and become the True Goddess."

IF sighed. "Let's go. We're wasting our time here."

"But what about the dungeons?" Compa asked.

IF stopped in her tracks. "... Crap. I completely forgot about that."

"Can't we just use DungleMaps?" asked Jacob.

"Gust was just about to say that," said the alchemist.

"..." After a moment of silence, IF slapped her forehead and dragged her hand down her face. "I can't believe I forgot about that, too... Alright, let's just go."

"Don't... you... leave..." mumbled Lowee's CPU, too softly to be heard by the party. This didn't matter so much to her as she was exerting herself trying to stand up.

After strenuously trying to push herself off from the ground, she managed to get into a position where she could pierce the ground with her axe and use it as a pole of support. Holding on to it, she managed to lift up her left leg and plant her foot on the ground so that she was now in a kneeling position. Finally, pushing up from the axe, she now stood upright. Still supporting herself with her axe's shaft, she looked over at her adversaries.

They were no longer there.

"..." The HDD deactivated, thanks to the many injuries that the form had suffered. Blanc sank to her knees, tired from the battle and the knowledge that it ended in her defeat. "Damn... it..."

* * *

><p>Financier was a little bit worried. After she saw a red glow in the sky, her first thought after a moment or two was to go and find Lady White Heart and inform her of the abnormality. She only got worried once she reached her goddess' room and found that her goddess wasn't inside it. However, she managed to calm herself down, if only slightly. After all, this wasn't the first time her lady had disappeared for no apparent reason. She returned every time, too, and no worse for wear. Well, apart from yesterday but that was the only scenario of its kind.<p>

To prepare for her lady's inevitable return, The Chamberlain decided to clean up the Basilicom a bit. She was cleaning the main foyer when Blanc opened the doors. Financier looked at her and dropped her broom in shock.

"Lady White Heart!" she shouted in concern as she rushed to Blanc. "What happened to you?"

Blanc was bracing herself against the door. She had no visible injuries in this form but she was still in great pain, much like yesterday. "Reflex... now..."

"Of course, my lady." Financier wrapped an arm behind Blanc and underneath her arm to hold her up. "Steady yourself, now. Don't overexert yourself."

When the two of them finally reached Entremet's first aid room – a small white room with a medical couch, a sink mounted on top of a cabinet, a long, twisted seashell with a small white pearl on the end and a red cushion underneath it, a thick, leather book with a jar next to it containing a long, thin feather, and a row of cabinets with clear windowed doors containing a variety of bottles and containers – Blanc was laid down on the medical couch by her Chamberlain who then made haste over to the upper cabinets. She pulled out a green bottle of Reflex and took it back to her lady. "Can you drink this?"

"Yeah..." Blanc took the bottle offered to her and drank its contents. She sighed in relief as she felt the extraordinary liquid ease her pain, slowly but surely healing the injuries she had suffered while transformed. Her arms hung over the sides of the couch, her right still holding onto the bottle.

Financier hesitated before she spoke. "Um... my lady, what happened?"

"None of your business," Blanc replied, not even looking at her assistant.

Financier sighed, steeling herself to ask another question. "... Did it involve that Overlord?"

Blanc's eyes narrowed and her grip on the bottle tightened. "No. The Overlord isn't here."

"Then why are you so injured? What attacked you?" Financier asked, losing her hesitation in her concern.

"Financier, drop it," Blanc warned with bubbling anger. "It doesn't concern you."

The Chamberlain retrieved the bottle from Blanc's hand. "... It's my job to worry about your health, my lady."

"Then you're on break because I'm fine." Blanc tried to push herself up from her seat but her pain prevented her from doing so.

"Lady White Heart, please stay down!" Financier urged as she held onto Blanc's shoulder to calmly lie her down again. "You have to take it easy. You can't defend the landmass in this state."

"I am Lowee's CPU!" Blanc snapped, scaring Financier into taking a couple of steps back. "I can defend my landmass whenever I damn well want! Hell, I can defend the entire world!"

"I-I know that, my lady..." the Chamberlain stuttered. "B-But can you at l-least take a rest? I'll even prepare some tangerines for you to help you recover."

Blanc let out a large breath and calmed herself down. "... Fine. At least take me back to my room, though, and make sure no one disturbs me unless I call for them."

Financier approached her lady and sighed. "Understood." She helped Blanc to her feet and, together, the two of them exited the first aid room.

* * *

><p>Getting back to the main landmass from the Entremets island proved to be quite uneventful for the party. It was slightly less eventful than leaving the tower dungeon as, while they did eagerly hop in the warm gondola car once they got to it and then reluctantly get out of it once it reached its destination, they never repeated the first step of reluctantly exiting a dungeon to meet the cold Lowee air.<p>

"Well, that didn't help much," said IF. "It helped even less than last time."

"I'm sorry about that," Jacob apologised. "I honestly thought I could do it."

"You know, I'd normally say for you not to beat yourself up over it and that these things happen..." IF took a breath, "... but, this time, it's your fault. You blew it."

"IF! That is a needlessly cruel thing to say!" Nisa chastised.

"Well, he did." IF turned back to Jacob. "You had an opportunity to learn more about her but you were too confrontational. Instead of trying to calm her down or be reasonable, you egged her on."

Jacob didn't look at IF. He looked to the side, clearly disappointed in himself.

IF felt a bit of pity and her gaze softened. "Look, she makes me mad as well. I understand she's tough to talk to but you've got to stay calm. You're not going to win her over by calling her lazy and worse than Neptune."

Jacob sighed. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Gust would do it but White Heart not happy. Bad idea," said Gust.

"Wasn't even going to think about it," responded IF.

Nisa looked at Jacob. "Jacob, how are you feeling? Are you still injured?"

"I'm fine. A little bit sore and I feel a bit weird from being dragged in the snow but I'm okay. Why?" responded her student.

"Then I believe we should train a bit more. Nothing major, given your last battle, but something basic to keep your strength up. Are you okay with that?"

Jacob shrugged. "Yeah, why not? Let's go."

"I'll go with you," Compa offered. "If you hurt yourself, I'll treat your injuries."

"Thank you, Compa," said Nisa. "We very much appreciate your assistance."

Before Nisa, Compa and Jacob could turn and walk away, however, Gust spoke up. "Wait."

The trio turned back to the alchemist, as did IF and Neptune. "What's wrong?" Nisa asked.

Gust looked at Jacob. "You never answered before. Why did you lose?"

Once more, a tense atmosphere surrounded the party. "Gust..." Jacob started hesitantly, "there's something we haven't told you. The reason for that is... this is big stuff. I keep it on a need-to-know basis and, well, no one really needs to know. In the whole scheme of things, it doesn't matter."

"Gust wants to know anyway."

Jacob let out a reluctant sigh. "Alright, fine..."

"You know, we need a voice recorder," said IF from completely out of nowhere. "We've already explained this about three times by my count and who knows how many other party members are going to hear this once Jacob asks them to join us five seconds after meeting them?"

In Gust's eyes, a familiar twinkle of confidence shone. "Funny you say that..." Then, from seemingly nowhere once more, Gust pulled out a small white rabbit-shaped remote device and held it in her massive glove, "... for Gust has one right here!"

The party looked at the alchemist with surprise. "What were you carrying that around for?" Compa inquired.

"Personal reasons," responded Gust with a sly smile and a dishonest look. "Now, since voice recorder is present..." Gust pressed a button, "... and recording, speak to heart's content."

"Alright, gotcha." Jacob took the recorder out of Gust's outstretched hand. "Alright, this is Jacob speaking. As you've probably noticed, I am... different from other people. This-"

_Click! Beeep. Beeep. Beeep._

A look of immense confusion crossed Jacob's face as the recorder was held in front of his mouth. He looked at it directly but, no matter how hard he analysed the white device or the red light blinking in time with that annoying beep or how much he rotated it in his hand, one question stayed in his mind. "... What happened?"

"Oh, sorry," Gust apologised as she held out her hand. "Message longer than expected. Recorder cannot hold."

"It cannot hold- that wasn't even ten seconds of speech!" Jacob shouted.

"Gust sorry for wasting some. Military grade audio log. Gust managed to acquire device one time in Lastation and improved it. Now it can record up to _eleven_ seconds of speech." Gust held out her hand to get her device back.

"That's... not..." Jacob facepalmed again before returning the recorder to her. "Something like that should be able to record at least half an hour."

"Says who?"

"Says... Never mind. I'm just going to have to say this every time someone asks, then." Jacob straightened his posture. "Gust... I'm from another world."

Gust's eyes opened wide. "Really?"

"Yes, really. Neptune ended up in my world for some reason and we managed to find a way to Gamindustri. I'm mainly travelling with Neptune so that she can help me find a way back home."

"Hm..." Gust scratched her chin as she studied the male of the group. "That may explain it..."

"Explain what?" Compa inquired.

"Jacob's weakness," Gust answered the nurse. "In Gamindustri, fight to get EXP and level up. However, Jacob is from other world. Jacob, do you level up in other world?"

"No," the male answered. "We get stronger through exercise, practice and health eating."

"There you go," Gust addressed the rest of the party, clasping her hands together and smiling. "Jacob's world not have EXP system. If Jacob not level up there, he not level up here."

"Wait, hold on," IF spoke up. "Are you saying that Jacob is essentially stuck at level one forever?"

"More like level zero."

"Oh, Jake..." Compa said to him with a great deal of concern and pity.

Neptune, however, didn't have the same feelings of sympathy that Compa regarded Jacob with. "... So what?"

"What do you mean 'so what'?" IF asked, getting a bit angry. "Jacob can't level up. He's never going to get stronger!"

"What are you talking about? He's getting stronger all the time!" Neptune countered. "Sure, he doesn't level up but he managed to back Blanc into a corner."

"Until she beat the stuffing out of him."

"Well, she did but at least he hit her."

"And he barely inflicted enough damage to take out a Pixelvader."

"So?" Neptune placed her hands on her hips and found herself face to face with the taller brunette. "That's still better than how he started out. He's levelling up in his own special way. Sure, his EXP Next To is always up in the wazoo but he's climbing that candy mountain one gummy bear at a time and that's good enough for me as long as he throws lollipops down every now and again."

"And that's what my training is helping him do, is it not?" said Nisa as she enthusiastically gestured at herself with her thumb. "EXP or no, Jacob is steadily improving and I intend to improve him even further still!"

IF turned to the heroine, ready to unleash an irritated argument. However, she found her irritation draining anyway. "... You know what? I don't care. Have fun. I'm going to restock on supplies." Tired, she turned to the alchemist. "Gust, want to come with me?"

"Sure," Gust responded.

Neptune had an idea and, with a sly smile, ran up to IF and Gust as they walked away. "Oh Gusty, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, let's go cake shopping afterwards. Sparky and Nisa-"

"Please, for the love of all things holy, stop calling me that."

"- are gonna work themselves up an appetite. It's only fair that they fill their tummies when they get back, doncha think?"

"That is a fantastic idea, Neptune," responded IF, completely deadpan. "By all means, we should get them a cake that you will not touch ever."

"I know, right?" The sarcastic accusation flew right over the CPU's head. "Also, while we're there, can we get a cake for me?"

"... Oh, you were actually being honest." IF was genuinely surprised. "Well, um... sure, I guess?"

Gust sighed, although she seemed rather happy. "Gust chose good party."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry about the short fight but it's the best I could do under the circumstances of having five other people in backup against White Heart.<strong>

**See you all next time in Chapter 23: Name Pending my Approval.**


	23. Oh Come On

**Guest review response time!**

**Eisenfaust: Yes she did, yes he is and isn't, yes he does, thank you, I beg your pardon, you are correct, he most likely wouldn't and that would most likely disintegrate his leg. Thank you.**

**Guest: Thank you.**

**Saturn56: Alrighty. And no, I meant uncomfortable for Purple Heart. Have you not seen her wings? That would make sleeping very uncomfortable. And I don't know for sure when they'll reappear.**

**SS7x3: I would like to mention that these are reviews and not a discussion thread. If you have a story you want to bring to my attention, please do so via PM. And thank you.**

**Guest (other one): I'm not minding them, really. That's a pretty funny thought, actually. I'm glad it makes sense to you because it makes sense to me and I'd hate it if I'm the only one who can make sense out of my logic.**

**N00BhfU: You might want to ask Eyeshield that next time but his fanfic takes time to think about. His writing has a lot of nuance in it and that's an important thing to get right. Also, thanks.**

**Story time! Also, I'm sorry for any guest reviews that I missed amongst the several billion other reviews I received when I posted this chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23: Oh Come On<strong>

During the afternoon of the fourth day after their last encounter with Lowee's CPU, the party was gathered in the motel room. IF was sitting on the bed closest to the door, Neptune and Nisa were sharing the former's bed, Gust was sitting on her sleeping bag and Jacob stood with his back to a wall and a half-empty bottle of water in his hand. As White Heart wasn't cooperative with their search to find the Key Fragment, the party spent the following days doing random side quests in a very desperate attempt to find any clues. Needless to say, those days contributed as much information to their search as the previous ones did. Understandably, every member of the party sans Compa, IF and Gust was a bit irritable. Compa just looked a bit uncomfortable while IF and Gust seemed a bit pleased with themselves.

"So what quest did you find this time?" Jacob asked. "Please tell me it doesn't concern a pirate ship that somehow ended up on one of the islands."

IF and the rest of the party remembered that dungeon very clearly. During one quest, they had to go to that place and Jacob would not stop asking questions about it ("How in hell did it get here?", "Why is it still here?", "How come no one's dismantled it yet and salvaged it for materials and whatnot?" and so on and so forth). To most of the party, it got really annoying really quickly. "No, thankfully," IF responded. "Gust and I have actually come across something very interesting."

"Brace yourselves," said Gust as she rubbed her hands together and looked like the most excited person in the world with a reasonable helping of restraint. "We may have plot-driving quest."

Good news of that magnitude took the party completely by surprise. Instantly, all feelings of irritation vanished. "For reals?" Neptune asked with more enthusiasm than normal. "We can finally get this plot on the road?"

"Maybe." IF was quick to hammer down on Neptune's eagerness. "Just maybe. Don't get your hopes up yet."

Jacob drank some more from his bottle. "What makes you so sure that this quest will get us closer to the Key Fragment?"

"Quest concerns plot element not encountered before," Gust answered. "Have you heard of Guild?"

Compa perked up. "I've heard bits and pieces. They're a gathering of heretics, right?"

"Something like that, yeah," IF replied. "Because of the persecution the heretics faced on each planet, they came together and made-"

"Hold it right there," Jacob cut in, much to everyone's confusion. "Why did you just call the landmasses 'planets'?"

IF looked very confused as she processed her previous words before the realisation hit her. "Oh, I... have no idea."

"Didn't Compa say the same thing in the tutorial dungeon?" Neptune asked.

"Y-Yes, that's right..." Compa shrunk in mild embarrassment.

"Curious..." Gust remarked.

Jacob took a large swig of his water. "There's something horribly wrong with this place..."

"L-Let's not get carried away," IF said, getting the attention of the party back on her again. "Anyway, because of the persecution the heretics faced on each _landmass,_" IF stressed that last word as she glared at Jacob, who responded by flashing a cheeky smile, "they came together and made the Guild. There's more to the story but let's talk about it on the way to the mission."

* * *

><p>As the party exited the motel, Jacob zipped up his jacket and lifted the hood over his head and Nisa zipped up her jumpsuit. From the motel, the party then left the city to head to the next one.<p>

"You know, I'm beginning to get sick of snow," Jacob complained as the party traversed the road, lightly laden with snow, that connected the city their motel was in to the next one. "Back home, I loved the idea of snow and making snow angels. Now I'm beginning to wonder what all the fuss was about. I wonder if this is how Americans feel?"

"A-what-icans?" Neptune asked.

"People from America, a country in my world. It actually snows there."

"That's nice but we need to talk about the mission," bumped in IF. "Now, you all know how Lowee has a Basilicom for each city, right?"

"It's so c-cold..." Compa whimpered.

"We should have gotten snow jackets," commented Gust. "Current party's clothes not suitable for snowy climate."

IF sighed. "Anyway, the Guild's hideout is one of Lowee's cities, called Guild City."

"How inconspicuous," Jacob noted.

"In Leanbox, ten years ago, there was a massive purge against the heretics, so they evacuated to Lowee," IF continued, regardless of Jacob. "The Guild started from the survivors of that purge."

"What?" Compa was alarmed. "Isn't that going to result in the purge all over again?"

"... Why would that happen?" Jacob asked. "They're heretics. They didn't worship the goddess of the landmass they were born on. Why would they go to Lowee if they didn't worship White Heart?"

IF shook her head at Jacob. "You make it sound like they had a choice. Don't forget that the landmasses float around the world. Lowee was the only one there at the time, by some miracle."

"Couldn't they have just stayed hidden for a bit longer, though? I mean, I highly doubt all the heretics were bound together in one big pile and ran through the Sky Bridge with Leanbox's army chasing them while bound in their own pile."

"Maybe they were too scared to wait any longer. I don't know the specifics," IF admitted." Anyway, you are right in that there were White Heart worshippers among the heretics but not all of them. Realising this, they took the heretics into custody at Entremets."

Jacob raised an eyebrow and looked at IF. "Who is 'they', and why would they take a bunch of refugees that they knew nothing about and hide them in their most important building?"

"That doesn't matter. The thing is, they then built a city for and run by the heretics known as Guild City. Even that city's Basilicom is run by the heretics."

"Okay, when you say 'they', are you referring to the heretics or the people at the Basilicom? I'm getting confused."

"That doesn't matter," repeated IF with growing irritation.

Jacob rolled his eyes.

Neptune decided to intercept. "So we're going to this Guild City for our next mission, right?"

"Yeah, we are," answered IF, slightly relieved at the lack of nitpicking this time around. "Hope you're all excited to see another city of excitement and wonder."

* * *

><p>It took longer than they would have preferred but the party finally arrived at Guild City after fifteen minutes of walking. To Jacob's surprise, the towns were much closer together in this world than his. As they travelled to the street where their client was said to be, they wasted no time taking in their new environment.<p>

"This looks a lot like the city we were in before," commented Nisa.

"This looks _exactly_ like the city we were in before," corrected Jacob, looking very confused. Rightfully so, mind; looking around, he saw from the original city the exact same distorted buildings in the exact same positions and the exact same piles of snow on the exact same spots on the exact same road. "Are you sure we didn't go in a circle somewhere along the way?"

"No. We in Guild City." Gust walked forward to take point as the party searched for their client. "Guild wants to hide. City can't stand out."

"And yet they call it 'Guild City'," Jacob responded. "I'm beginning to wonder how deep this parody hole goes, not to mention how many people were actually in on the joke. I mean, look over there." The party looked towards where Jacob pointed and saw a white castle with an indigo roof far off in the distance. Even though it was most likely massive, it looked somewhat underwhelming with the giant blue snow-capped mountains right behind it. "See that castle? I swear it was in that exact same position from the main street of the first city. I know it didn't take us long to get here but I imagine there'd be at least _some_ differences. Actually, come to think of it, what is that castle actually for?"

"Maybe they're hoping that, if they ever get chased out again, the Basilicom will get lost and confused in the first city while the Guild sneaks out?" Compa guessed.

Nisa was slightly uneased as she looked around. "Pardon me but am I the only one who feels a... somewhat ill-intending aura?"

"Yeah, it feels all tense..." Neptune agreed, feeling a bit put off as well.

"That's because we're in the Extremist side of Guild City," IF explained. "Guild members can be divided into Moderatists and Extremists. Moderatists just worship their specifics goddesses but Extremists despise the goddesses they don't believe in."

"And worshippers of said goddesses," Gust added. "Gust has heard stories of poor followers dying at Extremist hands or suffering from Internep forum flames."

"Oh no, not the Internep forum flames. What fate could possibly be worse than people you can't see or even interact with sending offensive messages to you?" Jacob asked with the tone of voice he'd use to ask someone if they emptied the rubbish bin.

"You making fun of us, punk?" Compa slightly jumped while the rest of the party turned to the source of the somewhat hostile voice. It turned out to be a female silhouette with long bangs and a ponytail reaching down below her waist.

"Terribly sorry," Jacob responded calmly. "No offence intended. We're actually here for a job to kill monsters."

"Oh, it's you?" The Extremist seemed rather amused by this. "If you ask me, you lot don't seem like the monster hunting type."

"Beggars can't be choosers, sorry."

The Extremist laughed raucously, much to the confusion of the party. "Well, then! If you're so sure of yourself, the monsters are in the forest on a nearby island. They're a bit violent so make sure you don't die horribly. Have fun!"

"Thank you for your concern," IF answered sarcastically.

* * *

><p>Jacob pulled out a green apple as the party walked along the road. "So, the Guild is full of heretics that were booted off Leanbox and they have now built their own city on a landmass that may or may not want them there to begin with. Is that about right?" Jacob took a bite out of his fruit.<p>

IF eyed his snack with interest. "You have another one of those?" Jacob nodded and IF caught the apple that he tossed to her. "Thanks. Yeah, and the Guild has Moderatists that focus just on worshipping and Extremists that hate the goddesses they don't worship."_  
><em>

"Fascinating." Jacob bit his apple. "Even though this is a generic monster killing quest, I hope it leads somewhere."

"I wonder what sort of plot this could lead us to?" Nisa inquired. "It's clear that the Extremists must be the villains but what is their evil scheme?"

"Nisa!" Compa exclaimed. "That is very judgemental and rude!"

"She does have point," Gust defended the heroine. "Extremists only hostile people on Lowee. No other candidates."

"I hate to admit it but she's right," said IF. "I don't like pointing fingers at groups, especially ones that have suffered like the Guild, but, given how the plot's been going so far, there's no one else who could start a problem in Lowee that would need to be fixed in a story arc."

Gust reassuringly smiled at the party. "Don't worry. If quest dead end, we go to Leanbox," she stated, much to Neptune's confusion.

"Wait, what?" the purple CPU asked.

IF's eyes briefly widened as she remembered something. "Oh, almost forgot. Look over there."

Neptune, Nisa, Compa and Jacob looked over at where IF gestured with her thumb to see a landmass in the distance. This one had tall brown mountains and a vast green landscape, covered in forests and dotted with tall windmills.

"Looks nice," commented Jacob. "Very green."

"That's why it's called the Land of Green Pastures," IF responded.

Jacob turned back to her. "Really? Do the other landmasses have names like that?"

"Yes. Planeptune is Land of Purple Progress, Lastation is Land of Black Regality and Lowee is Land of White Serenity," answered Gust. "If dungeon produces unsatisfactory results, we go to Leanbox. If results satisfactory and plot continues, we stay. A good day, today."

"That is very good timing," Compa cheerily agreed.

Finally, the party arrived at the gondola. The girls made their way inside with IF going in last. However, she stopped at the door when she saw that Jacob was standing on the edge of the landmass, looking out to the floating island in the distance that housed their dungeon. His mind was set on something, processing a thought that was snagged in uncertainty.

"Hey, uh, are you going to get inside?" IF asked.

From his disc, he pulled out his jetpack and looked at it. After a moment, he turned his eyes to the dungeon. "Hey, IF." He looked towards her. "Do you think I could fly over there?"

Mildly taken aback by the suggestion, IF stepped out of the gondola, the other girls following behind out of curiosity, and looked towards the dungeon's island. "Are you sure you can make it?"

"What's going on?" Neptune asked.

"Jacob asked if he could fly up there," IF answered.

Neptune's eyes lit up with excitement. "Ooh, that sounds awesome! Sparky, you have my complete permission to go up there!"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Thanks but I wasn't asking for permission. I was asking if it was physically possible for me to fly up there."

Nisa walked over to him and inspected his jetpack. "Well, why not? Your jetpack has taken you across distances greater than that since you first acquired it and shows no sign of running out of fuel."

"What does it run on, anyway?" Gust inquired.

"No idea but it's from Planeptune," IF responded. "Probably stores solar power and passes it through amplifiers to power it or some crap like that."

"Well, I'll fly with ya," stated Neptune. "I can transform and whiz through the air with you and I'll catch you if you fall."

"That's a great idea." IF looked over the edge of the landmass with Gust and Compa. Even though the abyss was covered in clouds, those clouds alone were so far down that it made the three of them a bit uneasy.

Nisa joined them in looking over the edge and wasn't fazed one bit. "I wonder what's down there..."

"I don't and I'd rather not." IF moved away from the edge and to the gondola along with Nisa, Gust and Compa. "See you two up there."

Neptune nodded before transforming into her more mature alter-ego, who then turned to Jacob. "Are you ready to fly?"

"To tell you the truth, I'm a bit nervous." Despite this, Jacob walked with Purple Heart right to the brink of the floating nation. "I think I'll be fine, though."

The gondola began to move. At the same time, Purple Heart placed a hand on Jacob's shoulder and smiled at him warmly. "Jacob, please know that I am right beside you. I swear to you that I will not let you fall."

Jacob, looking back at her, returned with his own smile. "You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you refer to me by my own name for once."

Purple Heart suddenly retracted her hand as if it was burned. "What? You mean to say my promises mean nothing to you?"

Even though she looked offended, Jacob could tell her heart wasn't it. He chuckled. "Come off it. You know I'm joking."

Purple Heart rolled her eyes but she smiled regardless. They both lifted themselves into the air but only Purple Heart took off right away, only stopping moments later when she realised Jacob wasn't as eager as she was. Turning back to him, she saw him take a deep breath before moving over the edge of the landmass. When he found himself still flying and not falling into who knows what or where, he allowed himself to relax before flying more calmly towards Purple Heart who he then followed to the dungeon.

The four other party members watched the CPU and the male aviate right past them and arrive at the dungeon before the gondola was even halfway up.

Nisa looked down on the transport's floor. "Is it just me or is this thing moving much more slowly than normal?"

IF found herself looking at the floor as well, impatience and disappointment brewing deep inside her. "It's not just you. It's just all of us."

* * *

><p>Finally, the gondola reached the island and the four girls inside exited. Outside, they found a grinning Neptune in her human form and Jacob waiting passively, playing with his jacket's zip slider.<p>

"You all took so long to get here," Neptune pointed out cheekily. "That just doesn't _fly_ in these here lands."

"The only benefit flying gives you is doing what we already do but slightly faster," IF countered, slightly agitated. "Apart from that, you don't do anything else with it."

As everyone correctly anticipated by the time they climbed the snow hill and jumped off the end of it into the actual dungeon, it looked exactly the same as Entremets' snowy forest barring the layout.

"Am I the only one who's getting a bit sick of these forests?" Jacob asked as they strolled leisurely through the dungeon. "Not that I ever want to go back to the caves but I'd rather not have my options limited to the shiniest of two turds."

IF sighed. "Jacob, I get the impression that, if you were never with us, we would never have noticed how tedious these dungeon crawls are."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I dunno. I think I'd rather be stupid and having fun than bored of my ingenious mind, though."

Neptune seemed to pick up something unpleasant in IF's words. "Wait just a darn pickin' minute..." she began. "Are you saying that people who are having fun are stupid?"

IF rolled her eyes. "No, Neptune. I'm just saying that I think I wouldn't be so bored with these dungeons if Jacob didn't constantly bring up how boring they were."

"Just look on the bright side, Iffy!" Neptune pulled out Armas and activated its blade before swinging it a few times in the air. "These dungeons are monster hot spots so we can fight as many monsters as we like! We always have a lot of fun fighting monsters, don't we?"

"No, not really. Mainly because _you_ are the only one fighting monsters now with that ridiculously overpowered Neptune Break of yours." The party came to a stop as IF's irritation began to snowball. "We don't even do anything any more. All we ever do is eat all the snacks and joke among ourselves while you cut up every single thing stupid enough to get in our way."

"IF, relax," Jacob said sternly. "Besides, everyone gets the same XP no matter what so there's nothing for you to complain about. If anything, I should be complaining, especially since I don't even get XP. All I ever do is practice without ever putting my skills to the test, not to mention I have never fought a non-human entity in hand-to-hand combat."

"Well, why don't we change that?" Nisa smiled at her student. "In the next encounter, why don't you take on a single monster of your choosing?"

IF was slightly worried at Nisa's suggestion. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Jacob can't level up and, while I'm sure we can take on this dungeon, the monster's aren't exactly low in level."

Jacob stretched a bit. "I'll be fine, IF. I just need to choose monsters that I can take on."

"And we'll beat into the dirt the ones Jacob doesn't wanna fight!" Neptune exclaimed loudly.

Walking through the dungeon passively as normal, it wasn't long before the party came across a random encounter with two familiar-looking monsters. They looked exactly like Vorpals but they had a blue colour scheme and there were dots on their back.

Satisfied, Jacob raised his arms and clenched his fists. "Alright-"

"Neptune Break!" Before anyone could act, Neptune's attack utterly annihilated the two floating enemies. At the end of it, only she was left standing, grinning like an idiot.

Jacob groaned. "Neptune, you were supposed to wait. I was going to attack one of those things."

"Virpals," Gust corrected.

"Thank you," responded Jacob even as he kept his eyes on Neptune.

After realising what she had just done on a thoughtless whim, Neptune rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Eh heh heh... Sorry. It's just that, whenever I see an enemy, my blood just boils like harmless lava."

"Let's not worry about it," Compa reasoned. "Monsters respawn infinitely, so all we need to do is find the next one. Let's keep moving."

And so the party returned to walking through the passageways that the dungeon provided, only coming to a stop once an obstacle halted their progress. It wasn't really much, just a row of spheres of snow that ran across the path ahead of them. At their highest, they were as tall as Gust. At their smallest, there were as tall as Gust's show.

"Alright, ladies. Stand aside." Everybody just stayed put and looked confused at Neptune while she pulled out her hammer. "I'll clear the way."

"Uh, Neptune? You don't need to do that," advised Jacob.

By that point, Neptune had the hammer raised over her head, ready to strike. She remained in that position as she looked at Jacob and blinked. "... Why? It's in the way. We need to get rid of it."

"Well, it is there but whacking it with a hammer is entirely unnecessary," Jacob responded.

Neptune lowered her hammer with her right and placed her left hand on her hip. "Alright then, smarty pants. What do you think we should do?"

Jacob crossed his arms and looked at the row of snow like he believed it had as much stopping power as a single snowflake. "I think we should just climb over it."

The party's gaze then shifted to the snow for several awkward seconds. Suddenly, in their eyes, the 'obstacle' was anything but.

"... Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Nisa agreed.

The party then traversed the snow pile by walking on it or, in Jacob's case, flying over it because, in his words, "why do something that expends more energy when you can do something else that expends less energy?" After this completely non-straining exercise, it didn't take long at all for the party to come across yet another random encounter. This random encounter consisted of a Virpal and a completely new enemy that, much to Jacob's concern, was a dragon that looked like it came out of European legend. It had green scales, a beige underbelly, two horns that pointed back from its head like ears and a beak-like snout. It stood on two legs with decent balance, making its short tail even more redundant, and it had two large, powerful arms with massive black claws that managed to look threatening despite the orange-webbed "wings" on the sides of the arms that looked more like oversized fins.

"Neptune, stop," IF ordered quickly.

"What? I wasn't doing anything!" Neptune responded indignantly.

"Good."

"Okay, I'm taking the Virpal," Jacob began. "You lot can thrash the hell out of that dragon."

"It's a Wyvern, actually," Compa spoke up.

"Alrighty then." Jacob didn't care at all. All he cared about at that moment was fighting the indigo-coloured monster ahead of him.

He did, however, turn away to see Neptune, Nisa, IF and Compa all rush the an extremely surprised Wyvern at once while Gust stayed behind, presumably to provide support with Musical Words if things suddenly took a turn for the worst. He chuckled a bit as they beat the hell out of it while it was still getting its confused head around the forsaking of turn-based combat.

Jacob quickly realised he was distracting himself and focused on the Virpal. However, he couldn't help but smile amusedly at how the creature, clearly perplexed, was looking at the Wyvern getting beaten savagely even as it reached out towards its purple acquaintance with a desperate claw. Jacob then got his act together and raised his fists, which were wearing his gauntlets as usual. The pragmatic teen took advantage of the Virpal distracting itself by watching the Wyvern's beat down and rushed towards the purple monster to deliver a sudden and powerful haymaker which sent the creature spinning through the air. Floating off the ground, it was attached to nothing to transfer the force of the attack to. The Virpal managed to stop itself from going any further after a few moments and tried to regain its senses. Unfortunately for it, Jacob continued his assault by flying right towards it, landing in front of it and then side kicking it.

Jacob had intended to kick the creature into the nearest tree but he missed. However, as the dungeon was pretty much just a series of paths closed off by high walls of snow, it was at least kicked into something. As the snow was soft, the monster recovered quickly and started charging up a blue sphere in front of its mouth. Jacob had seen this attack plenty of times before and the only way this magic missile attack differed from only a number of the others was its blue colour. Jacob crossed his arms in front of him to project his shield which protected him from the volley of six weak homing missiles before lowering it to fire his massive laser at the creature, engulfing it completely. After a moment, Jacob cancelled his attack to see how the monster was going. It seemed a bit dazed but still ready to fight. Once it shook off its dizziness, it flew forward to attack Jacob.

"_Justice Kick!_" called Nisa as rocketed towards the Virpal, kicking it very far away. When she believed the creature to be out of sight and therefore out of mind, she stood proudly as she faced her pupil.

Said pupil was dumbfounded. "... What the hell?" he said once he got his thoughts together. "I was fighting that thing!"

"You were taking too long!" answered Neptune, causing him to turn around. Neptune was standing on top of the limb body of the Wyvern, clearly proud of her victory against the creature. Jacob would have winced at the reptile's injuries if they weren't so comical. Its tongue hung lazily over the side of its mouth, one of its eyes was swollen and black while the other was a dizzy spiral, bruises were all over its body and its limbs were bent at various odd angles. Neptune must've gotten bored at some point because the tail of the Wyvern was tied into a knot halfway through. "We wanna get on with this plot!"

"But I needed to see if I could take on monsters on my own!" Jacob complained.

"We were watching. You can do it, it just takes much longer than it needs to," responded IF. "Can we _please_ get back to saving the world?"

Jacob groaned. "Fine, whatever. Let's just take down the boss."

The group left the battered monsters behind and progressed through the rest of the dungeon.

"Is it just me or is it odd that we're just told to kill monsters but our goal comes down to killing the boss?" Compa asked.

IF looked at her quizzically. "How would that be odd?"

"Well, the boss is only one monster and monsters respawn indefinitely," Compa answered. "If it's a lot of monsters that are being troublesome, like the Extremist said, shouldn't we be killing more monsters than this?"

"All we need to do is kill the boss to stop monsters respawning in this area. You've played these games before, you know how it works."

That explanation didn't sit right with Jacob. "I don't think it works that way in JRPGs."

The party turned to him at once. "What's a JRPG?" Nisa asked.

"Oh, it's an RPG from Japan. They're much different from the RPGs made in the Western side of the world. My world, I mean," Jacob elaborated.

Gust, like the others, was even more perplexed but even more curious. "Western side of world?"

"Basically, the world is..." He tried to find the words for it but he gave up with a sigh. "Honestly, I don't really know. Japan is on the Eastern side of the world so it makes Eastern RPGs while America is on the Western side of the world so it makes Western RPGs. That's pretty much all I know."

"Ah." Gust was still curious but she didn't press for more information. "So what about JRPGs not working that way?"

Jacob was surprised as he just remembered what they were talking about before they went off on one of their usual tangents. "Oh, right. Well, dungeons in my JRPGs, when they don't function as places holding very important artefacts, connect two different areas. When the bosses aren't guarding artefacts, they just happen to be in your way. Or they're the guardians of the transitional dungeons. It varies."

"Oh, your dungeons actually do something?" IF asked, mildly surprised.

Jacob sighed and closed his eyes in disappointment. "... Yes. Yes they do."

"Uh oh! Boss dead ahead!" Nisa exclaimed, snapping the party out of their reveries and getting them to focus on the boss monster.

"Oh, it is Tadpole," Gust noted.

Jacob looked at her like she was crazy. "_That_ is a tadpole?"

To say that the boss ahead looked absolutely nothing like a tadpole would be a vast understatement. Firstly, the main body of the creature was its blue and white-dotted head that was topped with two orange horns that looked more like narrow mushrooms. The mouth of the creature was ridiculously large with its bottom lip and small tusks being only a quarter of the way away from the top of the creature's head. On either side of the monster's body was a massive - massive enough to make the orange horns look like stubs, mind - brown curved horn with orange protrusions and tip. Protruding from its back was a long tail that curved up and came to a lamp in a black frame which was then followed by a black tail that finally ended with a silver ball tip.

"Well, it looks like a recycled sprite of a Frog Baby," IF noted.

"That would be because it _is_ a recycled sprite of a Frog Baby," Jacob returned.

"Hey, do you want to try and fight that thing?" Neptune offered the male.

"What? Oh, no, I'm fine. Let's just take that thing out."

"Hurray!"

And the Tadpole was quickly defeated by the party's combined might.

"Same ol', same ol'," Jacob noted before the party turned around to exit the dungeon.

Compa, however, didn't move. In fact, she seemed confused by the party leaving. "W-Wait!"

The party turned around in response to the call. "What? What is it?" IF asked impatiently.

"Aren't we here for plot-related information?"

The eyes of each party member briefly widened. Jacob slapped his palm onto his forehead. "I can't believe I forgot about that..."

"Oh, right! We're here to figure out what to do next!" Neptune exclaimed.

The party stood around for a few quiet moments in anticipation.

"... So..." Neptune let that 'so' hang in the air for a couple of seconds. "... What do we do now?"

"Well, typically, when we get here, we find someone who exposits on the plot some more," said Jacob.

Glancing around, the party found no one of the sort. All they found was a lot of snow, trees, lights and more snow.

"Alternatively, someone finds us, like a CPU," said IF.

"So Blanc should be around here somewhere? Okey-dokey!" Neptune turned to the dungeon and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Hey, Blaaaaanc!" she yelled. "Us lovely ladies and Jacob are right heeeere! Come out, come out wherever you are!"

Jacob turned to IF. "Actually, the CPUs don't really do anything for the plot. They just come out here, we beat them up and we go home."

"True..." IF crossed her arms and thought.

"Hey Blanc, guess what?! You're stupid and I'm better than you!" Neptune kept on yelling.

"You don't really mean that, do you, Nep-Nep?" Compa asked.

Neptune turned to the nurse. "Nah, I'm just trying to push her Go And Beat Up Nep-Nep's Party button." Neptune turned back to the forest again. "Did you hear that? Because I was lying! You are stupid!"

Exasperated, Jacob rubbed his temples. "Was this dungeon really a complete waste of time? Is there anything else around?"

"Gust has checked ground," informed the alchemist. "No items or clues nearby. Just normal dungeon."

"Oh, come on..." Jacob groaned. "I'm sick and tired of this."

"Why aren't you coming out to fight us?!" For a moment, Neptune stopped to think about the best way to coax Lowee's CPU into revealing herself. Suddenly, her thoughts struck gold and a cheeky grin spread across her face before she resumed yelling. "Hey, Blaaaaanc! Sparky here has bigger boobies than yoooooou!"

"What?!" Jacob was certainly not expecting that. "Neptune, shut up!"

"Uh, what?" Gust was highly confused. "I don't understand."

Compa turned to Gust. "Ah, well, you see, Jacob has boobies-"

"_Compa, please!_" Jacob pleaded.

"Eep! I'm sorry!" Compa jumped back in surprise.

Gust looked at Jacob with newfound curiosity and utter bewilderment. "... Jacob's world is whack."

"Do you wanna feel 'em?" Neptune yelled some more. "Come down right now and get a grope!"

"Neptune, please stop talking about them!" Jacob shouted.

"Why you have breasts?" Gust asked.

"It's fat, okay?" Jacob explained irritably.

"So are regular breasts," Gust countered.

Jacob's face contorted into an expression of barely restrained rage.

"Gust, cut that out," stepped in IF. "It's a sore point for him, not to mention Nisa."

The four of them looked over at the heroine. She was trying - and failing - to not look like she wanted to destroy everything within ten miles with her fist that was clenched so hard that everyone feared it would spontaneously explode.

Neptune, oblivious to the previous hostilities, turned back to the party. "I don't think she's here."

"Really? You'd only been shouting for an eternity and I only just noticed that!" Jacob remarked with mock surprise.

"Jeez, what's your problem?" Neptune asked, put off by Jacob's agitation.

"If you ask me," started IF quickly, "it's odd that White Heart isn't here. Isn't this usually the part of the plot where we get ambushed?"

Jacob took a very deep breath and let it all out in order to calm himself down. "I think it's odd that _nothing_ is here. We just came across a plot point, for God's sake. You'd think there'd be something here to advance the story."

The party stood around in silence. They had all gotten incredibly hyped for a plot to go on and it turned out to be another dead end. After four days of this, it was just too much.

Jacob threw his hands up. "Screw this. Let's just go to Leanbox."

"Agreed," said the rest of the party as they walked back the way they came.

* * *

><p><strong>One of my complaints about <strong>Hyperdimension Neptunia<strong>** mk2 is that the writing is so different from its predecessor, leading to a more serious and idiotic story. I think I've finally figured out why the difference is present; NISA fired the idiotic translator that interpreted "landmass" as "planet" on no less than two occasions. Come on, now; the landmasses aren't even the size of Tasmania. They're definitely not going to pass as entire planets.****

****Anyway, I am glad to report that the next chapter is where something will actually happen! I am disappointed to report that I have also started university again and I will now have to squeeze in "read required texts" and "write essays based on required texts" in my incredibly un-busy schedule. Therefore, I'll probably have to go back to monthly updates. Shame. Also, I am going to sink a LOT of planning into the next few chapters because, at some point, things are going to deviate.****

****See you all later.****

***By the way, when I wrote Jacob's line on Internet forum flames, I was not thinking about a certain number of reviews... okay, I was but I was thinking "Whoa, this is coincidental".**


	24. Hoping the Grass is Greener

**Finally, we have left the Land of White Nothing's Happening and are moving over to the Land of Green Something's More Than Likely Going To Happen. To thank all patrons for their patience, they will be rewarded with review responses:**

**Saturn56: Two beta readers and they still didn't pick that up. -_- Ah well.**

**Eisenfaust: She's spoken to him before, probably, maybe, I beg your pardon, he wasn't trying to, I'll think about it, I didn't think about it at the time. Thanks.**

**SS7x3: Ah, the wonders of being a reader and constantly speculating. And it's okay.**

**Now, dear readers, let us cross our fingers.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 24: Hoping the Grass is Greener<strong>

Fed up with Lowee, the party promptly made their way to the Sky Bridge and walked into the dungeon that connected the landmass to Leanbox. Needless to say, it took them no time at all to come out through the other side. After the green-lit cave, Jacob found himself pleasantly surprised by the clear skies and the lush green landscape that spread before the party.

However, it was in the city where Jacob found himself slightly awed. Standing in the main plaza that was paved with grey setts, he somewhat not-moodily took in the nearby buildings of which there was a surprising variety, with a church that had a tall tower in the middle of it, what may have been a library close by, market stalls and other buildings that served other currently unknown purposes. They had either grey walls of smooth stone or beige bricks that had noticeable lines and their roofs were covered in pantiles that were coloured a single colour of red, blue, green or whatever sensible colour took the fancy of the roofers that worked on the buildings. Around the main plaza were old-style lampposts made from black steel although, due to it currently being the afternoon, they weren't currently on. Leanbox wasn't entirely covered in stone; there were actually quite a few bushes growing around some of the more isolated buildings like the church and there were trees growing near some of the buildings.

IF noticed his lack of ranting. "You seem to be enjoying yourself," she noted.

With a smile on his face, Jacob inhaled the landmass' fresh air through his nose. When he'd had his fill, he exhaled out through his mouth. "It's not oppressively dark or trying to poison us like Lastation and it's not cold and ridiculous like Lowee. I think I'm going to like it here."

"You betcha, Sparky!" Neptune chirped, chipping his enthusiasm. "It's so old here! It's like we were in a medieval theme park and went back in time there!"

"I've always quite enjoyed the medieval aesthetic," Nisa commented. "It feels like I have more opportunities to save those in need here!"

Jacob looked back at IF. Strangely enough, she seemed less exasperated than normal, like the party's usual nonsense didn't affect her at all for once. "You seem a bit chipper, yourself," he told her. "What's up?"

IF wasn't expecting such a thing to be said but she quickly composed herself. "I like Leanbox better than the other landmasses. It's got cleaner air and a better atmosphere, like you said." IF pulled out her pink cell phone and began typing on it.

"Fair enough. So what do we do now?"

"We already cleared out a dungeon. Let's just play around for the rest of the day!" suggested Neptune right before she decided to sprint away.

"Oh no you don't." IF grabbed Neptune's hoodie sleeve before she could fleetly flee the scene. "We have things to do first." The brunette then turned her attention to Jacob. "Hey, can you go to the Basilicom and go through the usual routine?"

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you afraid I'll mess everything up?"

"You're more relaxed right now and you've learned your lesson. Plus, Lady Green Heart's not like Blanc. I think you'll get along with her."

Jacob crossed his arms. "Yeah, alright, that sounds fair enough. Where's the Basilicom?"

"It should be..." IF trailed off, suddenly growing unsure as to how to direct him. Sighing, she took out a cell phone that was in every way identical to her pink one aside from being green. After pressing a few buttons, she handed it over to Jacob. "That map should tell you where it is. If you have any problems, just open up the contacts menu and call IF Pink."

"Right, thanks." Jacob reached to take the phone but, when he tried to tug it away from her, she held on tight. "... Um, IF?"

Jacob looked at IF with confusion but she looked at him with... desperation, maybe? Her eyebrows were furrowed, at least. She seemed like she was desperately trying to hold in her emotions.

"... IF, can you give me the phone, please?" Jacob asked.

Finally, with the slightest break in IF's mask of strength, she let go of the green cell phone and let Jacob look at the top screen. As she said, there was a map. "Thanks very much."

"_Don't,_" IF began with a desperate and vengeful voice that nearly made Jacob jump, "_break it._ Am I clear?"

"Y-Yes," Jacob stammered.

IF kept her stern gaze on him. She didn't look like she promised a hellish fate if he defied her anymore, though, so that was a plus. "... Good."

"Um, IF...?" Jacob started hesitantly. "How do I open the contacts menu?"

IF rolled her eyes. "Press the green phone one, moron."

"Ah, I figured. I just wanted to be certain." He pressed the button marked with a green phone and, sure enough, the contacts menu opened. "Ah, it works."

"Good." IF turned her back to him. "Are you going to leave now?"

"Actually, how do I get back to the map?" Jacob turned the phone in his hand so that IF could see its screen.

IF sighed as she turned around and approached him. "Okay, I should've seen that coming. First, you..."

While IF was helping Jacob learn how to use her phone, Neptune turned to Compa. "Hey, you think we should ask Iffy if we could also borrow one of her phones?"

"We don't need to, Nep-Nep." Compa pulled out her own phone from her disc. "We can just call Iffy- I mean, IF on my phone if we need to."

"Actually, cell phones don't work here," Gust explained.

"What? Why?" Compa asked, surprised.

"Calling someone from Leanbox requires special service. Monthly payments."

"Surely you jest? That's outrageous!" Nisa cried out indignantly.

Compa looked at IF who seemed to have finished telling Jacob about the phone's features. "So then... why do her phones work?"

"She must pay the monthly fee," Nisa answered.

"Alright, thanks." Jacob then turned his gaze towards the rest of the party. "So where do we regroup?"

"We'll meet back at the front of the inn in about, say, two hours," answered IF.

"Great. See you all later," he said before turning around and walking away.

Compa waved goodbye like the rest of the party but she noticed that IF seemed to be nervous. "IF, is something wrong?"

IF's eyes were closed and her fists were clenched. "He has... my phone," she explained, her eyebrows twitching. "If he doesn't return it safely... I..."

"No need to worry, IF!" The party's heroine walked up to IF and smacked her hard on the back of her blue coat as a gesture that was meant to come across as encouraging. "My diligent student will not be so clumsy as to break your phone or drop it into the yawning abyss that rests below us."

IF shivered. "Don't even joke about it..."

"Perhaps spending time in forest could help with relaxing?" Gust suggested. "Gust could use hand gathering materials."

"Huh?" IF snapped out of her anxiety as she turned to the alchemist. "Oh, yeah. Sure, I guess."

"Excellent! Into the forest we go!" Gust excitedly grabbed IF's hand and dragged her along with her to the forest.

Neptune placed her hands on her hips. "Huh. Guess that leaves just the three of us."

"You mean just the _two_ of us, my darling sister!" Nisa proclaimed. "I, on the other hand, have wrongs to right! Tally-ho!" With a mighty leap, Nisa jumped onto the roof of the nearest building and ran along it until she was out of sight.

"... W-Well..." Compa started after a moment of silence, "What do you want to do now?"

Neptune put her hand to her chin as if to think. "Hm..."

* * *

><p>Finding the Basilicom proved to be a simple task. After all, it was a repulsively extravagant church on top of an island floating in the sky. How hard would it be to miss? He felt a bit embarrassed asking for the phone now. Upon arriving at the gondola, he used his jetpack to fly over to the island, pulling a few stunts along the way for the sake of practice. He walked through the forest surrounding the Basilicom and found it. Again, it was no different to the previous four Basilicoms they ventured to, right down to having someone guard the front. This man looked exactly like the one that stood in front of Lastation's Basilicom and the one that Neptune met in Planeptune's Basilicom; he had a hat that would have been a tricorne if it wasn't round, hair at the back of his head that was lazily spiking out behind him, an open book in his left hand and a closed high-neck coat. The man noticed Jacob and might have smiled.<p>

"Hello. Welcome to Leanbox's Basilicom," the man greeted kindly. "How may I help you?"

"Hi, I was wondering if I could speak to your CPU, please?" Jacob requested. "I need some help with something."

The man in front of him shifted a bit, possibly from disappointment for disappointing the visitor. "I am sorry but Lady Green Heart is currently unavailable as of present."

"Oh, that's a shame." Jacob looked unperturbed, however, and extended a hand to the guard, who was a bit confused. "My name's Jacob, by the way. I'm offering you a handshake, by the way."

"Oh, I see." No longer confused, the man took Jacob's hand and gave him a middle-strength handshake before disengaging. "Unfortunately, as one of the Basilicom's Sanctified, I am not allowed to disclose my name. However, I will remember you fondly."

"Thank you very much, sir."

"Now, while our Lady is busy, Archbishop Yvoire inside is more than capable of assisting you. Feel free to go inside," said the Sanctified as he opened the door.

"Thank you." Jacob went to take a step inside but stopped himself as a question came to mind. "Hey, this might sound strange but do I look like a silhouette to you?"

Indeed, the Sanctified seemed a bit confused. "Oh, well, uh... yes?"

Jacob made a 'hm' noise. "I see. Thanks." He then proceeded inside, not caring about the Sanctified bewildered eyes looking at his back. He made his way inside to the prayer room, intending to find this Yvoire character but found a familiar silhouette. "Is that you, Conversation?" he asked, mildly surprised.

"H-Huh?!" Lowee's Evangelist jumped and quickly turned around to the one who addressed her. After seeing it was just Jacob, she let out a sigh of relief. "Ah, it's you, uh... Jason, was it?"

"Jacob, actually. Good to see you again." Although Jacob talked in a cordial manner, he remembered their last discussion about Overlord Momus and was on his toes.

"Sorry, you caught me off guard. I must say, it is a surprise to see you again," Conversation returned. "It wasn't that long since we met in Lowee."

"We hit a bit of a snag and came over here. I was hoping to speak to the CPU or Yvoire."

"Yvoire?" Conversation turned her head to more than likely look at another silhouette that was walking towards them. "That would be him."

"Ah, thank you."

"Are you two acquainted? Regardless, there is no need to bother Lowee's Evangelist for information about my landmass," Yvoire stated before stopping in front of the two of them. He looked just like the Sanctified outside despite most likely being in a higher position of power that would suggest a different uniform or, at the very least, hat. "I am Yvoire, Archbishop for Lady Green Heart. Do you have any inquiries about Leanbox?"

"I am Jacob. It is a pleasure to meet you, sir." Jacob wouldn't extend a handshake to someone as prestigious as an Archbishop but he did nod his head in acknowledgement. "I was hoping to talk with you..." He gestured to Conversation with his head, "... although the issues are a bit sensitive."

Yvoire seemed to be judging his words. "I will not pretend to understand your circumstances but I will respect them." He might have turned his attention to Lowee's Evangelist. "Conversation, if you'll please excuse us for the moment?"

Conversation gave a slight bow. "Of course. I will be seeing you later, Archbishop." Conversation then left Jacob and Yvoire in the prayer room and walked around the first corner she came across.

Yvoire turned back to the male in front of him. "Say your piece now, boy."

"Of course, sorry." Jacob cleared his throat out of nervousness. "I'm actually with a party and we're trying to find an item called a Key Fragment. I've been told Green Heart was busy?"

Yvoire, rather than respond, stood silent.

"... Um, excuse me?" The moment was a bit dragged out and Jacob was getting a bit concerned.

"Oh, I beg your pardon," Yvoire apologised, snapped out of his reverie. "Yes, I am afraid she is... busy." Yvoire hesitated on that last word as if unconvinced of it himself but he didn't say anything else. "However, I am her right hand in regards to running this nation. Anything you wish to discuss with her can be discussed with me."

"Alright then. I'm looking for an item called a Key Fragment. I don't suppose you'd know where I'd be able to find it?"

Yvoire shook his head. "I am sorry but I have never heard of such an item."

"Apparently, it's kept in a dungeon guarded by strong monsters."

"Oh, is... that so?" Yvoire seemed underwhelmed by the information. "Forgive me but, when you say 'strong', what do you mean, precisely?"

"To be completely honest, I don't know. That's just what I was told. We found Planeptune's Key Fragment in a tutorial dungeon, for God's sake."

"A tutorial dungeon? Have you tried going to one here, then?"

"We tried that back in Lastation and that didn't do anything. I think it means strong as in relative to us."

"I see... I think," responded the Archbishop, slightly irritated. "Well, I'm afraid I don't know how strong you or your party are."

"S'all right. I wasn't expecting you to, anyway. The first Key Fragment was actually guarded by a Guard Vermin and I think the others might be as well."

Yvoire's eyes (or maybe even eye, for all anyone knew) might have shot open in surprise. "Guard Vermins? Are those not extinct?"

"Well, we've been told that a lot but we did see one."

Yvoire's right hand, not holding a book or any other object, went up maybe to his chin as he pondered this. "Well, I have heard of no dungeon that holds a Guard Vermin. I am afraid we are unable to help you."

"Eh, it's alright." Having expected this, Jacob wasn't concerned much. "I don't suppose there are any troublesome dungeons that you need cleared or something?"

Yvoire sighed. "I do not feel comfortable with sending civilians to dungeons. What is your party like?"

"Well, there's six of us including a nurse, an alchemist and a heroine who you might know as Nisa. We're very strong, mind."

"Nisa?" Yvoire repeated, possibly raising an eyebrow. "I... think I may have heard that name before." The Archbishop then gave Jacob a map that he pulled out from behind him. "Very well, then. This is a military map of dungeons in Leanbox detailing the monsters within them as well as item drops. You look to be capable enough."

Jacob smiled humbly. "I'm actually one of the weaker members of the party. The others are too strong for me to keep up."

Yvoire chuckled a bit. "Then my faith appears to be well-placed." The Archbishop then handed the map to Jacob, who then contained it within his disc. "Is that all you require?"

"Yes. Wait, no." Jacob clapped his hands together. "This might be a weird question but do I look like a silhouette to you?"

Yvoire seemed a bit taken aback by the inquiry. "Um... yes, you do. Why, should you not?"

"Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it. See you later," Jacob farewelled before leaving the Basilicom.

"Happy hunting, Jacob." Yvoire then turned around to venture to another room. However, he came across Conversation hiding around the next corner. "... Were you eavesdropping, Evangelist?"

"Forgive me, Archbishop. It is not within my duties but, for the sake of Lowee- no, the sake of the world..." Conversation looked towards where Jacob exited the Basilicom, "... there are some matters that I must stay on top of."

"I do not understand," Yvoire responded frankly.

Conversation sighed. "I have duties to attend to, unfortunately. May we discuss this here later tonight?"

If Yvoire was exasperated by this secret-keeping, he didn't show it. Although, given that he was a silhouette, there was a chance he did and it just couldn't be picked up. "Very well, then."

* * *

><p>During that whole scenario, Gust, who was carrying her broom, and IF were travelling around a nearby forest. Unlike Lowee's snow-covered forests, this one was very bright and cheery. Actually, it was more like a meadow that had trees spread around sparsely and a short layer of grass covering the floor, although there were patches of longer grass here and there. The sunlight shining on the green vegetation made it delightful to look at and would ease the worries of any travellers.<p>

IF seemed to be the only exception to the rule. "Stop shivering," Gust sternly ordered.

"I can't help it," IF answered. "Jacob has my phone. He's probably broken it by now."

Gust rolled her eyes. "No he hasn't. Put it aside. Gather herbs."

With a groan, IF massaged her head as if it'd help her calm down. "You know I love those phones, right? All nine of them that I keep in their own boxes around my belt." IF gestured with her hand to her belt of nine cell phone pouches. "I swear, if something happens to that phone, I will beat him so hard he'll feel it when he reloads his save..."

"IF, calm down," said Gust. "Now, you go over there," Gust pointed to her right with her broom, "and gather flowers that look like white clouds on sticks."

"I know what cotton flowers look like," IF responded, dull irritation burning inside.

"Good. Now, I go over there," Gust pointed forward with her broom, "and gather other ingredients. See you later." Having given her instructions, Gust walked forward to carry out her self-assigned tasks.

"Yeah, see ya," IF said indifferently as she walked off to gather her materials.

Walking for a couple of minutes did only a little to soothe IF's nerves. The mere thought of Jacob handling one of her precious phones was keeping her on edge and she kept overlooking entire bushes of cotton flowers. "Look..." IF began talking to herself as she started focusing on her task and picking the plants, "Jacob's a reasonable and trustworthy guy. He's not like Neptune or Compa. He's going to hold onto that phone even if his hand catches on fire. He'll complain about it but he won't drop the phone. You have nothing to worry about."

IF picked another flower but found herself not moving for the next two seconds.

"This is hopeless!" she cried out as she fell back against the comfortable grass, exasperated. "I don't care who it is, no one should have my phones! I need those! How can this day possibly get any worse?!"

"Hey, what are you doing there?"

IF's eyes shot open as she was greeted by an unfamiliar voice. She tilted her head back even further to get an upside-down view of the person that stood over her. Surprisingly, it was a crimson-haired girl who was around about the same height as Neptune and her dark grey eyes conveyed that she seemed to have the same amount of energy. Framing her face was many bangs, the largest of which having a white stripe that covered almost all of it, and her hair was held in an R shape on the left side of her head by a black string with two tan beads. She wore a black red-laced gold-trimmed corset over a dark grey gold-trimmed camisole that had a neck that was buttoned up by a sky blue magatama that was placed directly over an ovoid cut in her dress. Her sleeves were, as always in this world, detached. They were frilly at the top and red with pale pink cherry blossoms on the lower part right above the gold and black finishing trim, which really added to her oriental aesthetic. From her waist hung five large red gold-trimmed cherry blossom petals with pink cherry blossoms printed near the tips which somewhat concealed her black red-trimmed bike shorts. It was easy to miss her large red geta, however, when she had a golden Eastern dragon coiling around her stomach and sitting patiently on her shoulder.

"... Hi," IF answered back, looking more at the dragon than the girl herself. "I'm picking flowers for a friend."

Hearing this, the red-haired girl's eyes brightened with excitement. "Flowers? Who are they for? A childhood friend? A tsundere?"

"N-No, actually," IF responded, a bit flustered. "They're for one of my friends. She's an alchemist."

The new girl seemed a bit thrown off but her zeal wasn't diminished at all. "Ooh, you're so nice!" Eagerly, she extended an open hand to the brunette. "R-E-D spells Red. That's my name! What's yours?"

"I'm IF. No, not If. Just IF. I know, it's confusing." IF tiredly took the girl's hand in hers and shook it. "Nice to meet you, too."

"... I was offering to help you up," Red explained, confused.

"Oh, sorry. I'm a bit tired." IF reached for Red's still extended hand again and allowed herself to be helped to her feet. As she stood, IF realised that Red wasn't as short as she thought she was. She seemed to be as tall as Neptune, give or take a centremetre. "By the way, what are you doing here?"

"Well..." Red coyly held her hands behind her back as she swayed from side to side. "I was just having a stroll through these woods before I saw you. That's when I decided..." All of a sudden, the young girl ran forward and latched onto IF's jacket, looking at her with the biggest smile on her face, "... that I want you to be my wifey!"

"W-What?!" IF exclaimed in shock. "A wife? Where's this coming from?"

Red released her hold on IF and stepped back a bit. "Well, I love you and I'm making you my wifey. First comes love, then comes marriage, then there's a bit more after that but I don't think we're allowed to say it in a PG-rated game. That's how it works, right Iffy?"

"Why are you calling me Iffy?! And yeah, that's how it goes, but... but..."

IF's speech slowed to a stop as she noticed Red looking more and more dejected as she talked. Finally, IF came to a complete stop. Red, however, didn't speak right away. Her eyes didn't focus on IF and it was only after a moment or two that she spoke again. "... You don't wanna be my wifey?"

Despite the circumstances, IF put on a well-meaning smile, even if the rest of her face indicated towards her concern. "That's really not the point."

This seemed to be enough to snap Red out of her funk and make her wear her usual smile again. "Okay, then it's decided! I have obtained my first wifey! Now I gotta look for more!" Without so much as a farewell, Red ran off into the forest. Or perhaps out of it. It was hard to tell.

All the while, IF just stood on the spot, dumbfounded.

"How is flower picking going?"

"Whoa!" IF jumped at Gust's sudden question and quickly turned to face her. "Where did you come from?!"

"Finished picking flowers," Gust responded plainly. "Progress?"

"Yeah, I picked some." IF sighed. "Sorry, I got distracted... this kid came out of nowhere and..." IF found herself too embarrassed to finish recounting her story.

"Don't worry. Gust knows." With her usual business smile, Gust pulled out her voice recorder. "Captured whole thing. Plan on showing to others."

"Wh-" IF looked at the recorder with shock. "How? That thing only holds eleven seconds!"

"More than enough." Gust pressed the green Play button on the controller and smiled as it replayed its message.

"_-hen I decided..._" started Red's voice from the recorder, "_... that I want you t-_"_  
><em>

Gust recoiled in shock as the recorder was suddenly destroyed by a bullet fired from IF's claw, which she equipped with amazing speed and a face indicating towards equally amazing rage.

"... How did you fire bullet from that?" Gust inquired despite her fright.

"I don't know and I don't care." IF retracted her claw and bent down to the bushes again. "Let's get back to picking flowers."

Gust let out a sigh of relief. Even though she was disappointed by her loss of blackmail, she decided to count her blessings and be thankful that IF didn't take the rest of her frustration out on the party's shortest member. "She had intricate clothing," Gust remarked in regards to Red. "Maybe you should have recruited her into party?"

"I'm not like Jacob. I don't recruit random people into my party on a whim, especially not children."

"What about me?" Gust huffed. "Gust is even younger than girl."

"Yeah, well, you're different. I don't know how but you are. In fact..." IF looked at the alchemist beside her, appraising her in agitation. "... You go between first and third person quickly. How old are you, really?"

"Iffy!" Gust seemed to be genuinely offended by that. "It is rude to assume age of a woman like myself!"

IF rubbed her forehead. "Don't call me Iffy."

* * *

><p>Finally, the party reunited and made their way inside the inn. Given that the exterior matched that of some of the other buildings, being grey and with a blue roof, the party hardly expected the interior to break away from the medieval aesthetic that Leanbox presented them with thus far and the inn fell right into their expectations. The pale pink walls of the lobby had a lot of framed newspaper articles, each mostly congratulating the establishment for whatever reason, and a teal carpet ran from the door from which the party entered to the dark brown wooden counter that had a waist-high gate on one side. Doors to toilets and some employee only areas were located to the left while stairs leading up to the next floor were located on the right. Two large wooden doors were located to the side of the reception counter and had a sign saying "RESTAURANT" right above it.<p>

Gust was occupied with the dungeon map given to her by Jacob from Yvoire and IF was reading over her shoulder and whispering with the alchemist. Compa would have walked up to the receptionist but Neptune, being as energetic as ever, decided to go up to the counter before she could do anything.

"Hey howdy hey!" Neptune said cheerfully to the receptionist, a silhouetted female with a long ponytail tied up behind the top of her head. "Me and my party need rooms for the night azappity!"

The receptionist didn't seem to be alarmed or surprised by Neptune's suddenness. In fact, she might've been cheerful. Then again, it wouldn't be good for an employee whose job it was to interact with other people to be socially unpleasant. "Certainly. We don't get many parties of adventurers but that's nothing we can't handle. You'll have to get separate rooms, though."

"Believe me, this already sounds much better than the motel we stayed in last," responded Jacob.

The receptionist's smiled may have widened. "Well, then I hope that our establishment can make up for the inconveniences you've experienced. Now, our inn's rooms have either one bed or two. I'm presuming you'll want three rooms of two?"

Neptune thought this over for a few seconds before answering. "I wanna scout out the rooms first. You never know whether a floor's going to drop you into a bottomless pit or not and I wanna test my footing."

The receptionist snerked, covering her mouth and nose with her hand as she did so. "Terribly sorry," she apologised as the party looked at her with bewilderment. "Now then, I'll send someone to show you around." The silhouette walked to the door behind the reception desk and opened it. "Excuse me, we have some guests who are looking to rest here. Can someone show them the rooms?"

"I'll do it!" called a young, feminine voice from the other side of the door. The receptionist moved out of the way to allow in a silhouette that looked exactly like Financier from Lowee. "Hello and welcome to our inn," she greeted as she walked out through the gate next to the reception desk and made her way to the U-shaped stairs. "Please follow me up the stairs and I will show you the rooms we have on offer."

The upper floor of the inn wasn't very decorated, being just a hallway that people were meant to traverse upon leaving their rooms. There were no windows; the only light in the corridor came from the ceiling-hung glass lanterns that amplified the light given off by the candles within them. There were four doors along the left wall and the corridor bent ninety degrees to the right at the end. "There are four rooms here that have a single bed each. There are four more rooms around the corner that have two," the guide explained. "The room at the very end here is currently unused. Let's go inside, shall we?"

The guide opened the door to the room, standing to the side to allow the party to look or step inside without obstruction. Out of all the motel rooms the party had been to thus far, this one was the most tranquil. The light brown wood floor contrasted well with the white walls, on which were two tall green-paned windows that had blue curtains which were tied to the sides to allow the mid-afternoon light to brighten up the room. In the corner of the room was a brown claw pot holding what had to be a small tree. It had a tall yet thin trunk that ended with a thick, messy crown of fresh green ovate leaves. Next to the adjacent wall rested a tall wooden cabinet and a small yet classically-shaped wooden drawer that was a fair ways underneath the wall-mounted lantern. On the middle of the floor rested a red carpet, on which stood a small round wooden table.

"Whoa!" Neptune immediately dashed forward and leapt onto the elegant bed that rested next to the wall between the two windows. It was large enough to hold two people comfortably and it had a thick pink doona, complete with a large dark pink symbol of unknown meaning, that covered the pink mattress and three soft white cushions in front of what seemed to be one long white pillow that rested against the gold rail headboard. "This is a fancy pants room if I ever saw one! Who needs forty winks when you have this?"

"Nep-Nep, you shouldn't jump on beds you haven't paid for," Compa warned patiently.

"Might as well let her," said IF as she sat down on the small red-cushioned seat that was next to the table and began reading the map she took from Gust. "It's good to test a bed before renting it for the night, right?"

Jacob began to rock from side to side. "Damn it, now I need a place to sit down..." he muttered to himself.

The guide could've smiled in humour. "Indeed it is. It's not a problem to us at all but you'd be surprised at how meek some customers can be to not ask such a thing. Now, would you like me to show you the next room?"

"Nah, I wanna stay here," Neptune protested as she nestled into the obviously comfortable bed.

Jacob sighed. "Neptune, get up."

"I don't wanna. It's too cosy here. This bed is destined to give me a whopper of a dream sequence."

"I will pick you up myself and carry you around for the rest of the day if I have to," Jacob sternly warned.

Neptune groaned before forcing herself off the bed. "Fine, whatever," she grumbled.

The next room to be showcased was right around the corner. As the guide opened the door and showed them all in, they were slightly less awed than with the previous room. The walls were a deep pink this time around and the paned windows were equally as tall as the last ones and twice as wide. They also came with thin pink curtains that were tied back at the middle but pulled together at the top, filtering the light coming in somewhat. On the adjacent wall were two framed paintings, the larger one positioned horizontally and the smaller one standing tall, above a wooden drawer that had a opaque lamp standing on top of it. At the corner was another potted plant although it was but a mere short fern that barely held a candle to the small tree in the previous room. Again, there was a red carpet on the wooden floor.

Jacob walked in and sat on one of the beds that was on either side of the drawer. Like the previous room the beds were large enough for the comfortable sleep of two people. Unlike the previous room, however, the beds were covered by a thin pink blanket and the pillows were nowhere near as thick. The headboards this time around were just make of simply cut wood. As Jacob lied down on the bed, he found he didn't particularly care. "It's alright," he said aloud. He then spent a few moments looking around the room before saying "This room feels oddly relaxing."

"Is every bed in this inn made to hold two people?" IF asked the guide incredulously.

"Yes, indeed," the guide admitted proudly.

Neptune walked over to the other bed and flopped onto it. "This bed sucks," she complained immediately. "I want the first room."

IF looked at Compa, holding the map at her side. "Actually, since there's six of us, we could get both rooms and Neptune and someone else sleep in the white room while the rest of us pair up and take one of these beds."

"Oh, you share beds?" asked the guide with mild surprise.

"I am not sharing a bed," Jacob adamantly snapped.

IF sighed. "There goes that plan."

"That's what sleeping bags are for," piped up Gust.

"Fantastic," started Jacob. "You can sleep in one while I sleep in this bed, IF and Compa share the other bed and Neptune and Nisa share the other room."

"I vote for this super duper idea!" shouted Neptune.

"Why should I be forced into sleeping bag?" Gust asked, indignant.

"Because you have experience with those things," Jacob responded.

"Maybe we should discuss sleeping arrangements _after_ we've bought the rooms," IF suggested, tired of the arguing.

"Would you like to follow me down to the main desk to buy now?" the guide asked.

"Why not? Let's go," said Jacob as he hopped off the bed and, with Neptune, followed the party out the door.

Behind the guide that led them back the way they came, IF turned to Gust. "I don't suppose we'll be able to get good prices for this?" she asked quietly.

Gust flashed her usual winning smile. "Leave it to Gust," she answered equally as softly.

* * *

><p>During the night, Yvoire and Conversation had met in the Basilicom's prayer room as they previously arranged. The only source of light, coming from the altar, illuminated the room sufficiently but the walls around the light took on a green and yellow hue while every wall beyond the light's touch was a dull grey. The seats and red carpet retained their colour, however. In addition, the stained glass windows that sparkled like gems in the natural light of the sun were a dark blue and purple as if a fog of venomous evil clouded them.<p>

"Thank you again for joining me, Archbishop, despite the time," greeted the Evangelist.

"I am only here because you wished to discuss something urgent," responded Yvoire. "Say what you need to now so that I may retire for the night. What, exactly, is wrong with the boy that came here this afternoon?"

The female silhouette paused for a bit. "To understand my concerns, you must first hear a certain story. Tell me, Archbishop Yvoire... have you ever heard of the Console War?"

Yvoire might have blinked a few times in confusion. "The... Console War? No, I cannot say that I have."

"Very well then, allow me to educate you. An indeterminable amount of time ago, the four CPUs fought against each other in Celestia for supremacy over the world."

"That is surprising..." said Yvoire. "I know the CPUs have clashed before but I had no idea that a war was brewing in Celestia."

Conversation tilted her head back, perhaps looking to the sky with longing. "During the fighting, Overlord Momus appeared and overwhelmed the goddesses, forcing them to flee here, to the world below."

"While I still have difficulty believing in this so-called 'Overlord', for all of the CPUs to descend to their respective landmasses at once is unprecedented."

"You may have heard," continued Lowee's Evangelist, "that Purple Heart, Planeptune's CPU, has not appeared in her landmass."

Yvoire was silent for a moment. "I recall hearing about a shopkeeper in Planeptune who was fired for giving away two very valuable items to someone who claimed to be Purple Heart who, according to the shopkeeper, transformed to prove their claim."

Conversation's head snapped back to Yvoire. "... Could you repeat that?" she requested in disbelief.

"It is a rather odd story, I admit. The Basilicom insists that Purple Heart has yet to return but this woman swears that she was visited by none other than the CPU herself."

"They are at least investigating, right?" Conversation inquired.

"Well, a transforming girl is nothing to disregard so easily, so they are indeed investigating, but the Basilicom still denies that she has returned."

"..." Conversation rubbed her forehead. "There are so many things wrong with that story that I do not even know where to start."

"Speaking of stories," Yvoire said, looking back at Conversation, most likely with a stern glare, "how does Jacob tie into all of this?"

Conversation looked back at Yvoire "The truth of the matter is, that boy is working with Purple Heart. He is a member of her party."

Yvoire was shocked. "Is this true? You are certain?"

"I have met the party personally back in Lowee. You have my word."

Yvoire sighed. "Then what am I to do?"

"Simple." At this point, Conversation's mouth might have twisted into a wicked grin. "Kill Neptune, the one who is Purple Heart. After that, Planeptune will lose its protection and its inhabitants will move to the other landmasses. Like Leanbox and Lowee, for example."

Leanbox's Archbishop seemed wary and hesitant, disbelieving of the words of the Evangelist. She noticed this and sighed. "Come now, Yvoire. Unable to reach Celestia, us powerless humans can do nothing but pray while our goddesses fight in the heavens. Would you not like to change the direction of the Console War directly? To have power for once?"

Finally, Yvoire let out a defeated sigh.

* * *

><p><strong>Fun fact: I actually got my brother to help me out with the church in the second paragraph. I was worried for a bit that it was something other than a church but, between me and him, we came to the conclusion that it was a church thanks to the tall door at the front and the circular window on top of it. He thought the spire on top of the tower was a Christian cross but then we decided it was actually a weather vane, thanks to the light shining on it in such a way that I'm not sure actually exists with real weather vanes. So... there's that. Enjoy your pointless trivia. However, keep in mind that I am a stickler for facts. This is why I always lazily double-check everything with Google and Wikipedia (hence how I learned about pantiles).<strong>

**All aspiring writers, keep this in mind: do your research. I actually learned a while ago about a university assignment in which the writer wrote that their character was in Los Angeles and then they drove to New York. That must have been the fastest car in the gum drumsticks universe because those two cities are on opposite sides of the entire bleating continent. You do not want to write something that ends up like that. Otherwise, you'll end up having important people appear in the middle of a heavily populated area and no one caring and you'll forget all about it until 19 chapters and 14 months later.**

**... I hate hindsight. How no one else noticed this, I have no idea.**

**Keep an eye out for Chapter 25: Roots. Or just wait until the notification email appears in your inbox if you're following.**


	25. Roots

**Oh goodness gracious, I am so sorry how late this chapter was. University's here and all that, sorry, so I'm preoccupied with assignments and reading texts that I didn't read before the semester started.**

**Saturn56: That is for me to know and you to find out. That is also for me to know and you to find out. :D**

**SS7x3: Well, it's Red/RED/R.E.D/Whatever. She's, like, the unsung hero of the first Neptunia. It wouldn't be right without her. Anyway... why would Plutia or Peashy appear here? They're Victory characters.**

**Eisenfaust: It's completely okay. I imagine that's a milder case of what today's generation goes through, yes she has, wait and see, that's either incorrect or correct, I guessed as much, ah okay, maybe or maybe not, maybe or maybe not, maybe or maybe not, I completely understand. Sorry it's taking so long.**

**And here is the next chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 25: Roots<strong>

The morning light that signalled the coming of the next day cast itself on Neptune's bed from the window, filtered by the thin blue curtains. Yet, energetic little Neptune did not stir. Yes, she was in a state of discomfort but this state was present far before the light of dawn reached her closed eyes. The CPU's contorted face inferred to a battle taking place within, one that was taking its toll on her.

"No! I won't let you end this world's opera!" she yelled all of a sudden as she jumped up from the confines of her bed's thick pink duvet and subsequently fell to the floor face-first. "Ow, ow, ow…" she repeated in pain.

"Arf?!"

At the sound of the concerned barking, Neptune lifted her head to look at its source and found it to be ArfArf. "Ouchies... mornin', boyo..."

"Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf..." ArfArf continuously barked out of worry for its master's accident.

"Ah!" shouted Compa as she sat up quickly from Neptune's bed. "What's happening? Are we being burgled?"

"Do not panic! I am here to help!" Nisa loudly declared as she jumped out of the bed, fired up and ready for a brawl.

By this point, the other five toy dogs in the room began barking out of time with ArfArf. "Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf..."

* * *

><p>"... arf arf arf arf arf arf arf..."<p>

Another four dogs were situated in the corridor. When they heard the barking, they too barked with all their robotic might.

"... arf arf arf arf arf arf arf..."

* * *

><p>"... arf arf arf arf arf arf arf..."<p>

The remaining six dogs, barking as well, woke up IF, Gust and Jacob in no time at all.

"Ugh..." Jacob groaned as he forced himself out of bed. "What time is it...?"

"No time!" IF shouted as she ran to the door. "Follow me!"

IF took off towards Neptune's room, making sure not to trip over or step on any of the dogs, while Jacob and Gust tiredly walked behind her.

"What's happening?" IF worriedly asked when she got to Neptune's room.

"Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf..." the dogs kept barking.

With a grunt of pain, Neptune stood up. "Aw, it's nothing, Iffy. I just fell outta bed and my nose hit the floor... It kinda hurts."

IF gave Neptune her usual look of incredulity. "... Are you kidding me? You woke us up at who knows when in the morning because you fell out of bed?"

"Hey Iffy, cut me some slack time! Breaking your nose is serious business!"

"M-Morning, IF," Compa greeted, wiping her eyes.

Jacob and Gust arrived at the door. "So..." Jacob yawned, "... what's goin' on?"

"Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf-"

"_Somebody stop that racket! The sun only just came up over the horizon!_" yelled someone from a neighbouring room, making the party jump in surprise.

"_There are rules against this, you know!_" another neighbour cried out.

"_I am this close to bringing my sledgehammer to each and every single one of those things!_"

"Boys, be quiet!" Jacob called out to the dogs. Surprisingly, they all stopped barking. "... Huh."

Nisa pulled a few stretches in order to wake her body up. However, when she became aware of the bed's other occupant, she looked at her with confusion. "… Compa, may I ask why you shared our bed?"

"O-Oh, well..." began the nurse, "... IF kicked me out because I was snoring too much."

IF looked to be a bit disappointed with herself. "I'm sorry about that."

Jacob yawned again. He then focused on Neptune again when something caught his eye. "... Where are your pyjamas?"

"I didn't want to wear 'em. It's not snowy and it's kind of warm here, so I didn't need to," Neptune explained.

"At the very least, she wore the duvet this time," Nisa defended.

Jacob rubbed his face. "You know what, I don't care..."

Suddenly, the inn's guide appeared at the door, looking not as cheery as she did the day before. "What on Gamindustri was that racket? I've been to SingSun parties that weren't that loud."

'_Lame_', thought Jacob.

'_Shut up_', thought IF.

"It's nothing now, miss," Compa answered. "There's nothing to worry about."

"I know the problem's done now," she snapped. "I just want to know what caused it so that it doesn't happen again."

"Our dogs were making a fuss because Neptune hurt herself," IF explained. "We'll train them not to do that next time."

"You better." The guide then left to go back downstairs.

Nisa then turned to the CPU. "By the way, what was that about the world's opera?"

"Oh!" Neptune's eyes brightened. "That's right! Everyone, I had a dream sequence! It was about Histoire!"

"Really?" Jacob responded, just as surprised as the rest of the party. "What was it about?"

Neptune sat on the edge of her bed. "Alright, listen up. Some of the details are a bit hazy-pazy but I got the general gist of it..."

* * *

><p><em>Now, it was a dark basement, blacker than a black hole. It was so dark that you could stand on a Reggo piece and hop around going "owie, owie, owie" if you weren't wearing any shoes. And then, I hear a voice!<em>

_"Histy!" it roared. "You have gone behind my back for the last time!"_

_And then the lights came on! Now I'm in a really flashy sci-fi room which was still dark but there were lights so I could see that the terrible evil that was speaking was none other than Arfoire! Now, I bet you're asking_-

"Cut to the chase," Jacob snapped.

_Jeez, fine! Party pooper. Anyway, __I don't know what Histy looked like because I was lookin' through her eyes, which is annoying because I really want to know what my damsel in distress looks like. It'd also be nice if Arfoire wasn't looking right at me. It's not really fun to be looked at by an old lady and you can't punch her in the face._

_"Eek! Please don't hurt me!" Histoire squealed._

_"Answer my questions! How does the boy know who I am? Did you send a sexy goddess to the world below? I demand answers and you will-"_

* * *

><p>"Hold on," Jacob interrupted with a flat hand in front of Neptune. "Did she actually say that?"<p>

"Yes! It's the super duper truth!"

The party looked at Neptune incredulously.

"... Yes! You don't need to look so suspicious like I ate your pudding!"

The party still looked at Neptune incredulously.

"... Okay, maybe I made some of it up."

"There we go." Jacob stretched his arms. "Alright, seeing as it's way too early, I'm going to go back to bed and maybe we can tal-"

Before Jacob could finish, a blinding light surrounded Neptune, forcing the party to cover their eyes. When the light dispersed, Neptune was sitting in her HDD form.

Jacob groaned and unshielded his eyes. "That was uncalled for."

"I know you all take me more seriously when I'm like this. This is urgent and I need you all to listen to me."

IF sighed and took a seat over at the table. "Fine. Lay it on us."

"Thank you." Purple Heart stood up and made her way to the middle of the room. Jacob was leaning against a wall, Compa and Nisa were in the bed and Gust sat down against the wall. "Now, let me start over..."

* * *

><p><em>As I said before, it was very dark at first. Arfoire's voice, however, pierced the darkness. She demanded "Histoire, you will tell me everything you have done since I have sealed you."<em>

_Histoire then answered "I have done nothing, nor could I even if I wanted to. Your seal has restricted my power."_

_The lights then came on, revealing a very futuristic room. However, there was a... model of sorts in the middle of the room; a cluster of spheres joined together. I have no idea what it was for. Anyway, angered, Arfoire then roared "And you still lie to my face?! A goddess ventured to the world below even though a CPU only has one quarter of a goddess' power! They know about the Key Fragments even though there is no way that they could've figured that out on their own! And if that's not enough, they know my name! How much else do they know? What else have you done? Answer me now!"_

_Histoire was silent for a moment but then she said "I have no idea how they know your identity. That is a puzzle that I try and struggle to solve but to no avail."_

_Arfoire was about to shout again but then she calmed down, as if Histoire's words made sense to her. "That... is reasonable," she said. "The three girls in the party at the time were surprised when that boy brought up my name. Then, if he knows my name, who's to say he didn't tell them about the Key Fragments as well?"_

_"... What are you getting at?" Histoire asked with traces of fear._

_Arfoire then smirked before saying "It seems I was wrong to blame you. I do apologise. Now, what do you know about that boy?"_

_"I know nothing about him... In this world with a past that I have a complete record of, he is the one question that has no answer. How he knows anything at all is beyond anything I can guess."_

_Arfoire's smirk grew wider. "He knows about the Key Fragments and my identity but he doesn't know about the Overlord... and he's from another world, too! So many questions about him that need to be answered..."_

_"What are you planning?" Histoire asked out of concern._

_Arfoire merely chuckled. "In due time, you will see. For now, take solace in the fact that my plan will go on beyond this world's end. Yes... soon, the curtain will fall and Gamindustri's nonsensical opera will end!"_

* * *

><p>"Did you really need to be so melodramatic at that last bit?" IF asked.<p>

"I felt it was necessary," Purple Heart answered.

Jacob anxiously rubbed his hands together. "So... Arfoire's coming after me?"

Purple Heart immediately rested her hands on Jacob's shoulders. "She will not lay a hand on you. I don't know what her plan is but it will not succeed."

"We must keep up our guard," Nisa cautioned. "Who knows when she'll strike next?"

"Really wish I knew what this Arfoire looked like..." Gust complained.

IF had her arms crossed as she thought. "She thinks that Jacob told us about the Key Fragments even though it was Histoire..."

"What are you thinking about, IF?" Compa asked.

"Just what she said. She knows that Jacob knows about the Key Fragments and her name but she doesn't know how he knows. What's really getting to me is that she says Jacob doesn't know about the Overlord..."

Nisa looked at IF with confusion. "But don't we? I mean, Lady Black Heart told us herself."

"That's exactly it. Also, why does she think Jacob doesn't know? What gave her that impression?"

"What don't we know about Momus?" Gust asked.

"That's also something I don't get. What does she know about Momus that we don't know? What Noire doesn't know?"

Jacob paced about the room to think. "She thinks I know more than I actually do, she knows something about Momus that we don't... she also thinks I'm more powerful than I actually am, given that one quarter power thing..."

"It's good that Arfoire is targeting Jacob," Gust commented with a smile. "When she comes, we can defeat her and interrogate her."

Suddenly, something registered in Compa's mind. "Wait, didn't Histoire warn us about Arfoire back in Lastation?"

The rest of the party sharply turned to look at her.

"Hang on, that's right," Jacob responded. "It was after we met the heretic. We haven't met her since."

"So Arfoire's not coming for us after all? Well, I suppose that's a relief," said Nisa with a trace of disappointment.

IF sighed. "Hopefully, she means it this time. We definitely need some answers."

Purple Heart rested her face in her palm and exhaled. "There is too much drama here..."

* * *

><p>Three days passed since then. Back in Jacob's house at night, Sharon was sitting at the dining room table with her laptop, browsing Facebook with disinterest.<p>

"We're back!" called Zac from the door before he and John appeared in the kitchen. John carried three pizza boxes in his hands as well as a DVD case on the top.

"Well, that didn't take you long at all," Sharon commented sarcastically before shutting the laptop. "What movie did you get?"

Zac took the DVD case. "Batman Begins."

"Well, at least we haven't seen it before. Get the plates out."

Minutes later, the four members of the Winters family were sitting down on the L-shaped lounge suite. On their laps were plastic plates holding slices from the pizzas that were on the coffee table in the middle of them all. The movie played along on the large flatscreen TV and the family watched in silence.

"You know, I've been thinking..." started Zac.

"What?" responded Hannah as she turned up the volume.

Zac grinned. "Without Jacob here, we can finally watch movies without him reviewing it all the way through."

"Oh, for..." Sharon quickly moved her plate to the table to lean forward and massage her head. "Hannah, can you pause it?"

"Sure." Hannah hastily paused the movie.

When the movie was stilled, Sharon looked at Zac with disbelief. "Now? Are you kidding me? You had to bring that up _now?_"

"Well, I thought it'd lighten the mood!" Zac responded defensively.

"Zac, we are this close to pulling our hair out," explained Sharon with gritted teeth. "We're watching a movie to get away from the issue of Jacob being somewhere we don't know. This is not one of the times where we talk about it."

"Okay, I'm sorry! I'm only trying to help!"

"I know..." responded the mother, fatigued. "I know..."

An uncomfortable silence filled the living room.

"So do you want me to play the movie again?" Hannah asked.

"Yeah, go ahead," said John.

The family then focused on the TV again as Batman Begins continued playing.

Hannah decided to speak up. "What do you think Jacob would say about the movie, anyway?"

"Well, if I was Jacob," started Zac, "I'd probably say I'm thankful that Batman's not wearing his jocks on the outside of his costume."

A smile cracked on the faces of John, Sharon and Hannah.

"If I was Jacob," added John, "I'd probably just say that the bat ears are a bit much."

The family sniggered at that.

Sharon decided to have a go. "If I was Jacob, I'd probably say that the ears should be pointing backward."

"That'd look stupid on Batman," Hannah argued.

"Yeah but that's the kind of thing he'd say."

Hannah shrugged. "True."

"Bloody hell," Zac exclaimed. "We're becoming Jacobs."

Another round of laughing ensued. After they got it out of their systems, they settled back into watching the movie but with smiles on their faces.

"Do you think he'd like this movie?" asked John.

Sharon shrugged. "It's hard to tell with him."

* * *

><p>Back on Gamindustri the following morning, IF received a message on her phone asking for the party to come to the Basilicom for a bounty job. Finding no reason to decline, they ventured to the holy building.<p>

"Hello?" Neptune called as the party entered the Basilicom. "Did someone call for us to do something for them?"

The Sanctified turned to face them, possibly with a smile, and approached them with a cheery gait. "Ah, thank you for coming," he greeted as he pulled out a map and gave it to Neptune. "This is a map for a dungeon that we'd like you to go to. We've put in as much detail as we can."

IF looked over Neptune's shoulder as she opened the map and read it with the CPU. "Looks as standard as they come. We'll clean it up by lunchtime. Are you sure this is all you need?"

"Most certainly. Most of the other dungeons have been taken care of, thanks to our Archbishop," informed the Sanctified.

IF looked at the Sanctified with a raised eyebrow. "Really? He must be pretty good."

"He is a benevolent and respected leader for us," the Sanctified began with a hint of pride in his voice. "He is rather strict, though, especially to heathens, heretics, and the Guild. There are those that disagree with him but, out of all our Archbishops, Yvoire has the strongest faith in our CPU." The Sanctified then snapped his fingers. "Oh, that's right! Once, the Parliament rose in power far too quickly and were close to taking over the landmass. It was only because of Yvoire negotiating with the Aristocrats that the Sanctuary managed to gain back power before the worst happened. At least, I hear that's how it goes."

"Are you talking about me?" asked Yvoire from the side, making the Sanctified jump a bit.

"S-Sir! You surprised me... But yes, I was just talking about you to the party that we hired for the dungeon."

Yvoire turned to maybe scrutinize the party. "I see. So you're the party in its entirety..." Compared to his identical silhouette, the Archbishop stood straighter and passively exerted more authority. "You know Jacob, I never would have believed you before if you told me these children were your superiors in the art of fighting monsters."

"Well, we went to most of your dungeons and we're not dead yet. Take that for what it's worth," Jacob responded.

Yvoire nodded. "The Evangelist has also thrown in a good word for you all. I have to say, it's rare to see a party travel around the landmasses and fight monsters. It's even rarer to see such a large party doing such a thing. If I may ask, what are your names?"

"Glad you asked!" answered Neptune with an excited shout. "I'm Neptune, the leader of this here party! The serious one's Iffy-"

"IF," the serious one corrected. "_I-F._"

"- the nurse is Compa, the hero is Nisa, the rabbit is Gust and- wait, you already know Sparky?"

"Who?" Yvoire asked.

"The boy," said IF.

"Oh. Yes, he came to ask about the dungeons of this landmass."

"Oh, right. Coolio," Neptune replied.

IF took the map out of Neptune's hands and put it away. "Well, if that's all you need, we'll take care of it. Just make sure to pay us when the boss is dead."

"We most certainly will," answered Yvoire. The party then exited the Basilicom.

The Sanctified turned towards Yvoire. "They're an odd bunch, aren't they? Not what I'd expect from a monster hunting party at all," he commented jovially.

"Well, they are clearing out dungeons left and right so we can't complain." Yvoire then looked at the other silhouette. "That said, I would like you to run a background check on all of them."

"Why, sir?" the Sanctified asked, confused.

"Just as a contingency. They are helpful but we don't know much about them."

"Very well, sir." The Sanctified then turned to leave.

* * *

><p>Jacob sighed as the party walked to the gondola.<p>

"I'll bite. What's wrong?" inquired IF.

"It's nothing important," responded Jacob.

"Not buying it. Tell us now."

"Are you homesick?" asked Compa.

"That too, but..." Jacob sighed again. "Four days. It's been four days and nothing's happened. Even after all the dungeon combing. We even split up to take on the dungeons individually and nothing turned up."

IF was typing on her phone again while Jacob ranted. "Jacob, calm down. We finally have something resembling a story dungeon. Hopefully, we'll find something there."

"Who knows? Maybe Lady Green Heart will attack us, meaning we can beat her up and you can persuade her into telling us what's going wrong with the landmass," said Nisa in an attempt to cheer Jacob up.

"I doubt Green Heart's the kind of person to pick a fight," countered IF.

Neptune walked up to IF. "Iffy, why wouldn't she wait for us to get in her line of sight and make us fight her? That's what the other CPUs did."

IF stopped typing on her phone. "... You have a point. Still, don't get excited."

"I'm never excited," Jacob replied.

"Then don't start now."

The gondola came into sight of the party. This one looked like a golden royal carriage.

"See you all at the top." Jacob was about to fly up to the dungeon but Nisa grabbed his arm.

"I don't think so! Something is clearly troubling you and I want to know what it is! Now into the gondola with you!"

Nisa lifted Jacob over her shoulder and threw Jacob through the open door of the gondola and onto one of its seats. By the way, the gondola was about ten metres away and Nisa threw Jacob fast enough for the impact to make an audible bang that made the party cringe and the gondola rock to the side before righting itself again.

Nisa dusted her hands. "He can take it."

The party, led by Neptune, slowly approached the gondola. Neptune nervously peeked inside the transport to find Jacob upside down with his head against the floor. The wall he was lying against was distorted slightly from his impact.

"... Are you okay?" she asked hesitantly.

Jacob made a sound halfway between a whimper and a groan.

After a bottle of reflex, another bottle of gelatin and some rest, Jacob was healed by the time the gondola reached the dungeon. The party stepped out of the gondola but, once they saw the dungeon, Jacob, Neptune and Compa stood still and looked up at it with wide eyes.

"Whoa... That is a very big castle," Compa noted.

The party was standing near the edge of the island to see the ends of the side of the castle they were standing near and the large double doors were still only a few steps away. It was also a simplistic castle though, with a grey wall surrounding a cluster of grey towers and buildings of varying shapes and heights. At the top of each building was a blue roof of either the hipped, conical or even onion shape.

"I'll say. If that map is indeed to scale, this place must be flipping huge. How are we supposed to find the boss in this?" Jacob asked.

"You think too much," Gust answered. "Castle just like any other dungeon."

"Aw."

Nisa and Neptune walked to one of the doors and, using all their power, pushed it open, allowing the rest of the party to walk inside before they shut the door again. "Man, that door was heavy..." Neptune complained as she wiped her forehead with her hoodie sleeve. "What happened to the good ol' days where the doors would just open up for you when you had the right coloured key?"

Compa passed a water bottle over to Neptune which she eagerly opened and drank from. At the same time, the party observed that the dungeon, on the inside, was very _very_ tall. It was so tall, in fact, that the party could not see the beginnings of the long purple swallow-tailed flags that hung from the roof and ended a few metres off the ground. Consequently, it made the party feel rather short, even if there were small arch-shaped windows that reached the floor. The grey stone walls and standing on the wide red rug that ran in the middle of each corridor on top of a black-and-white chequerboard tiled floor didn't help with that, either.

Neptune took a few steps forward and triggered a random encounter. It was pretty much instantly ended with Neptune Break. The party didn't even break their stride.

A sigh came from the CPU. "Hey, do you guys remember when dungeons were fun?"

"No," responded IF and Jacob in tandem.

"What do you mean by fun, Nep-Nep?" Compa asked.

"Y'know, when things actually happened! Monsters showed us parts of ourselves or we learned awesome cool attacks! I'm cool with hitting Sparky in the face again by accident."

"Stop calling me Sparky," complained Jacob.

"Wait, what is this about accidentally hitting Jacob?" Nisa asked.

IF raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I want to know what this is about."

"Okey-dokey!" Neptune became much more cheerful as she turned to the rest of the party while walking backwards. "See, in our very first dungeon when it was just Sparky, Compa and yours truly, I decided to practice dual wielding my gun and my sword. I tried to shoot down a pipe and bat it away but I missed and got Jacob right in the face by accident."

Jacob cupped his left cheek.

Nisa sniggered. "Dual wielding, huh? Have you gotten any better at it?"

Neptune shook her head. "Not really, no. I'm better at cutting things than shooting them and trying to do both is really hard."

"Good choice," said Gust. "Two-handed weapons are your forte, anyway. Stick with what y-"

"_Holy crap!_" Jacob shouted in alarm.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screamed the entire party with one exception.

"Jacob," started an irritated IF, "if this is another set of stairs, I swear..."

IF looked at the end of the corridor that Jacob was looking at and found another set of stairs, this time T-shaped. These stairs were much larger than the previous sets and had an extravagant railing to go with them. IF turned to the male party member with a look that was anything but happy. "What is with you?"

"You don't get it! These stairs _go somewhere!_" Eagerly, Jacob ran over to the stairs and climbed them. The rest of the party stood back and watched his progress, agitated from the previous scare. He turned up the left branching staircase, stepped over a rope barrier and turned left again down the narrow walkway with a waist-high wall to stop him from falling off. When he was roughly in line with the party again, his speed came to a screeching halt, much like his enthusiasm. "Well, that was fun while it lasted."

"Make any fantastic discoveries up there?" IF called.

Jacob sighed and crossed his arms on the smaller wall to rest his head on them. "Okay, this castle has stairs that can be used to access a higher level. They would be useful if there was anything at all on the higher levels apart from this walkway that has no use whatsoever. What is the point of this castle?"

"What do you mean?" Compa asked.

"Let's get something out of the way here; this place is _massive_. It's also a man-made structure as castles tend to be for some silly reason. Yet, despite this, all the space seems to be used for a single level of ridiculously high corridors and rooms with no furniture or anything. Castles are places for people to live in so what's the deal?"

IF sighed as she ran a hand down her face. "Jacob, can we just accept that dungeons just happen for no reason and move on?"

"No," answered Jacob as he flew over the railing and back to the party. "Whatever kind of sick and twisted place this is, you can't have massive structures like this just appear as monster dungeons because lolz."

"You can in Gamindustri," Gust remarked.

Jacob flared his nostrils at Gust and raised his hands, flexing his fingers to help him exaggeratedly gesture the point he nearly shouted. However, he instead sighed as his head and arms fell limp. "Can we please just move on...?" he requested with a broken spirit.

So the party progressed through the dungeon again. Another random encounter appeared and Neptune made short work of it.

IF turned to the heroine. "Hey, Nisa?"

"Hm?" Nisa turned back to IF. At the same time, another random encounter was defeated.

"Why do you have your jumpsuit unzipped?," IF asked as she looked at Nisa's attire.

"Oh." Nisa tugged at the collar of her jumpsuit. "I left it zipped up when I took up my oath to protect the world from devastation. Unfortunately, a few savings in, I discovered that it got uncomfortably warm so I leave it unzipped to let the air flow inside."

Another random encounter was swiftly defeated.

"Ah," responded IF.

After several more random encounters and inane conversations that never went anywhere, the party finally arrived at the boss monster. It was a headless knight wearing teal and bronze armour and it had a large bronze medallion hanging by a chain from the neck armour. Oddly enough, it wore a teal cape on both the front and back of its body. It held in two hands a large teal sword with a spade-shaped tip.

Neptune drew Armas and extended its blade again. "Alrighty, let's clean this up and-"

"Wait, where's Jake?" asked Compa.

Snapped out of their boredom, the party looked around and found that Jacob was nowhere to be seen and his snide remarks nowhere to be heard.

"Oh no," IF groaned.

"_Sparky! Hey, Sparky!_" Neptune shouted. "_Bigsissymanwithboobiessayswhat?!_"

"What?!" Jacob shouted back as he flew around the corner and landed back with the party. "What'd you say?"

"Where did you go?" IF asked.

"I got bored so I decided to fly around and practice a bit," Jacob answered. "Honestly, I thought you'd notice me flying above you."

"Camera sucks. Can hardly look up," responded Gust.

Jacob rolled his eyes before turning to the headless knight. "Oh, a headless knight. Bit smaller than I'd expect for a boss."

"Whatever! A boss is a boss! Can we defeat it now?" Neptune whined.

"Why are you asking me?"

As was always the case, the boss was quickly defeated. The party just stood in the one spot.

"So that's it?" asked Jacob.

"That's it," answered Gust.

Jacob let out a small sigh.

"Whatever," said IF. "Let's just go back."

* * *

><p>Back at the inn later that day, Jacob was lying on his bed reading a book. It would have been very peaceful if he wasn't talking to himself and the book.<p>

"Come on Soldier, you know better than to trust him." Jacob then turned a page. "Good on you, mate. Wonder what he's gonna do after that?" Jacob turned another page. "Well, that looks painful."

"Oh, am I interrupting?" IF asked as she entered the room.

"No, you're alright. I'm just reading Compa's GG manga."

"Shouldn't you be training?"

"I asked Nisa for a break and she said yeah. I needed something to do so I borrowed this off Compa. Where did you all go, anyway?"

IF sat down on her bed and pulled out her pink phone. "I don't know. Maybe they've gone to the arcade. All I know for sure is that Neptune is sleeping in her room."

Jacob turned his face to her. "What? At this time of day? Is she okay?"

"I think she's tired from the way the plot's going. We're still going around in circles."

Jacob turned back to his book. "Ah, that makes sense."

IF looked at Jacob. "Hey, you don't mind if I play the radio, do you? Hi-Five Radio's about to come on."

Jacob shrugged. "Sure, I don't mind. I'll make sure to keep quiet."

"Thanks." IF was about to turn on the radio on her phone but she stopped at the last button to ask Jacob another question. "Hey, how are you coping with the whole Arfoire seeking you thing?"

Jacob exhaled through his nose. "I'm okay. All I need to do is hang around the lot of you at pretty much all times when we go out and I'll be fine."

"'When we go out'?" IF repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"From what I remember, we're only ever attacked if we're in a dungeon or, in my case, heading towards a dungeon. If I stick with you, I'm..."

IF looked at Jacob with concern as he trailed off. He put down the book and sat up suddenly. As if looking for something, he turned his head this way and that.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" IF asked.

"I think I hear... _plot._" With energy long forgotten, Jacob jumped off the bed and dashed to the door, much to IF's shock. He raced into the hallway and around the corner to see Archbishop Yvoire talking to the sleepy Neptune through her room's door.

"... Jacob," greeted Yvoire with mild surprise at Jacob's enthusiasm and nearly wild eyes, "it's good to see you again."

"The feeling is mutual, Archbishop. I had the strangest feeling something important was to happen and I arrived as quickly as I could."

IF walked around the corner. "Oh, the Archbishop's here? Surprising. What's going on?"

Neptune yawned. "Yeah, what's up...?"

Yvoire cleared his throat. "As I was about to say before I was interrupted, I come bearing a gift from our Lady Green Heart."

Neptune's fatigue instantly gave way for energetic curiosity. "What? Are you for serious? What is it?"

Yvoire, with the slow pace of a professional, pulled out a sealed envelope from his clothes. Jacob and IF moved closer as he took out a letter opener to unseal it and take out the folded piece of paper within. "In the face of the results of your last bounty job and what Lowee's Evangelist has informed us in regards to your journey, our Lady has seen fit to hold a banquet at her Red Ring Table in the honour of you and your party."

The jaws of the three party members dropped so low that they only needed to be slightly tapped in order to break away from the faces of their owners and fall to the floor. Neptune's jaw hung the lowest and her eyes sparkled with disbelief and amazement. "A party?! Oh my golden sun, this is amazing! We're gonna eat so much food that our HP bars will break and glitch the system!"

"Wait!" IF shouted. "Will Lady Green Heart be attending this banquet?"

"I cannot guarantee that. The monster ordeals take up most of her time. It is entirely possible that she'll arrive, though," Yvoire answered.

"Hold on, I thought the monsters were taken care of?" Jacob inquired.

"For you and I, yes. However, Lady Green Heart's responsibilities extend far beyond us. We may be able to handle one area but that is nothing compared to what she must endure."

"Well, we have to try anyway!" exclaimed Neptune. "Arceus shop, my party's coming to this party and we will we will rock you!"

"My title is Archbishop, like the shape and the chess piece, and I am pleased to hear it." The silhouette handed the paper to Neptune. "This invitation has the time and place of the banquet. We will be eagerly anticipating your visit." Yvoire turned around and walked back down the hallway.

IF and Jacob were quickly at Neptune's side to read the letter with her. "Trap?" Jacob asked.

"Maybe, maybe not," answered IF.

"Well, hope for the best, plan for the worst. Still, I am freaking _pumped!_" Jacob paced around Neptune's room excitedly. "Finally! Honest to goodness _progress!_ We have to learn something at this party to get the plot going!"

IF smiled and crossed her arms. "Well, let's get prepared. Who says we find the others and have a good dinner to celebrate?"

"I do!" cheered Jacob and Neptune simultaneously.

* * *

><p><strong>Again, I am so sorry this is so late. Hopefully, the inclusion of plot progression will make up for it.<strong>

**By the way, I haven't watched Batman Begins. I have an interest in the Dark Knight trilogy but I'm currently occupied by things I'd rather do and things I'd rather not do, like studying and assignments.**

**I can't guarantee that the next chapter will break the lateness trend but I hope so.**


	26. Leaves

**Another... two weeks, surprisingly. Have another chapter of ****Hyperdimension Neptunia is Real!****.**

**Saturn56: How should I know? Oh wait, I'm the author. Well, like a magician, I never reveal my secrets so there.**

**SS7x3: I'd add more scenes but they'd contribute nothing to the overarching plot. The party can't do anything at this rate except for wait for windows of opportunity to show up. And the chapter may be missing about 1,500 words.**

**Eisenfaust: I'd say normal is harder but you must remember that Purple Heart has all of Neptune's air-headed nature and confidence but presented through a steel filter, alrighty, we'll find out about that, remember to stay pessimistic, neither can I but for completely different reasons than everyone else here. Those actions will probably never happen as Jacob is more sarcastic and reserved than Kamina but I guarantee that you will be surprised.**

**SVK9: Thanks! Eh... that doesn't seem too useful, actually; most of the enemies here use physical attacks. As for that last point, well, that's a first. I'd probably be killed if I tried that, though.**

**And let's get this show on the road-**

_**WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!**_

**Get this: my fanfic actually has fanart now! No, I'm not kidding; if you go on deviantArt and look up _Neptunia Jacob_, you'll find a picture of my self-insert. I, of course, love it. If any of you are having trouble visualising everyone's favourite snarker, you know where to look. By the way, also look up _HN scribblez_.**

**Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah:**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 26: Leaves<strong>

The next night, the party left for the Basilicom. They chatted amongst each other as they briskly walked down the lonely dirt path, surrounded on both sides by vast amounts of meadow that stretched out far towards the distant mountains.

"This is gonna be so awesome!" Neptune declared as she punched up into the air with both fists. "We're gonna eat, then we're gonna dance, then we're gonna eat again and Vert's gonna give us all handshakes and medals!"

"Are we really dressed appropriately, though?" Compa asked as she delicately tugged on her plaid skirt. "I think we should've worn something other than our normal clothes."

"Don't worry. Gust has been to parties before and dress code unimportant," Gust assured.

"Besides, we were invited by Lady Green Heart herself," added IF with a smile. "No one's going to give us grief."

"Someone's happy," Jacob noted with a grin.

"Look who's talking."

"We're all happy!" exclaimed Nisa. "Our plotless days will see their end tonight! Not only have we been invited to a party, it's being held by Lady Green Heart, who has not decided to meet us in a dungeon and kill us off, at least not yet!"

"Don't the CPUs typically meet us first before trying to kill us?" asked Jacob.

"Now don't you spoil the mood," countered Nisa with a dismissive wave of her hand.

The party came across the gondola and hopped in it one by one. It carried them over to the Basilicom's island slowly and calmly but, when it arrived at its destination, they couldn't exit the transport faster. After navigating the usual Basilicom-surrounding forest, the party ended up at the doors.

The guarding Sanctified, when he saw them, might have smiled wide. "Ah, hello! We've been expecting you!" he greeted. "Please, allow me to escort you to the Red Ring Table."

The silhouette opened the door to allow the party inside. He then lead the party through the Basilicom, down through a series of plainly decorated corridors until they came across a pair of finely crafted wooden doors with golden handles. When the doors were opened, he quickly moved to the side to allow the party to see the room and give them space to be surprised. The room they were invited was massive, if somewhat bare bones. The walls were white and had square golden floral patterns framing their large rectangular panels. At the middle of the furthest wall rested a set of ten red elevated steps that led to a red-cushioned golden throne, flanked on either side by a ribbed white column. Behind the throne was a giant blue wall panel framed in gold.

The real attraction for the party was the Red Ring Table. True to its name, it took the shape of a red ring where the red was a design on the top that was split into quarters, three of which were red and one of which was maroon. In the centre of the hollow space that the table surrounded was a green power symbol. The underneath of the table and its legs were black. The legs, with neon green lines on the side of them that ran up and along the table's underneath, were straight and ended in a circular foot. Even though the room was mostly devoid of ornaments and decorations, the table made up for it due to its size and the food resting on top of it.

Compa's hands cupped her nose and mouth as she looked around, her eyes wide so as to take in all the imagery. "I can hardly believe it! Basilicoms actually have rooms this big! It's amazing!"

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Hey, is it just me or is this Basilicom looking bigger on the inside than it is on the outside?"

IF nudged him with his elbow. "Don't spoil it."

"Sis..." Neptune droned through her drooling mouth, tugging on Nisa's sleeve as she looked at the massive quantities of the extensive varieties of foods presented. From reflective apples to ripe bananas, from crisp biscuits to bread sticks, from chicken drumsticks to garlic bread and even from ice creams to dark, milk and white chocolates, the Red Ring Table had it all. "I will eat all of that and there is no force in the world that is going to stop me."

"I will join you on that quest," Nisa replied, drooling only slightly less than Neptune.

IF, however, was not seduced by the decadent treats. Her focus was expanded to the entire room. "I can't see the CPU amongst all these commoners..." she complained in regards to the massive number of silhouettes also attending this party, chatting with friends or drinking fine wine or eating the food. "Can anyone else see her?"

"No, sorry," answered Jacob as he looked around the room, using his height to his advantage. "Thankfully, we don't have to worry about traps here. I doubt she'll try anything with all these civilians around."

IF sighed. "That's a relief. Not the part about not finding Vert, I mean. I'm going to look around for her."

"I'll go with you," Jacob offered.

"No, I'll be fine. Make sure Neptune and Compa don't get lost," IF instructed before moving through the masses.

Gust came up to Jacob's side. "Let's follow anyway. Good friends ignore each other."

Jacob smiled before he and Gust walked off in pursuit of IF.

Neptune watched them leave with a bundle of twenty bread sticks in her mouth. She was quick in biting through all of them and swallowing the combined mush. "Wow, even in fancy parties, all they do is work..." She then turned back to Nisa. "We should do that, too! This place is like a Tavern mkII; there's gotta be at least one person here who knows about the Key Fragment! Can you see anyone who might look important?"

"I 'il 'oo 'ae 'eh!" Nisa swallowed her bananas. "I apologise, I meant to say that I will do my best!" She then searched the crowd with a flat hand above her eyes. "Aha! That man looks rich and knowledgeable! Let us interrogate him!"

"And away we goooo!" Neptune took Nisa's sleeve in her hand and walked to the man in question.

At the same time, Compa feebly raised a hand in Neptune's direction but couldn't summon the strength to call out to her. "N-Nep-Nep..." she whimpered. "You left me alone..." Compa raised her hands to her eyes as tears began to form. However, she managed to summon the strength to stop herself. "N-No..." she sniffed. "I-I can do this too... I j-just need to find someone..."

Compa then looked around the room for someone to talk to, someone who might have knowledge of the Key Fragment. Her eyes widened when they landed on one figure; a teenage boy that stood out among the rest like a golden rocket launcher in a barn. She walked up to him slowly while he was currently stuffing his face full of food. "E-Excuse me, s-sir..."

The teen, around maybe seventeen years of age, suddenly stood up and quickly swallowed his food as he sharply turned to look at Compa. He wore a navy blue hoodie over a shirt with a chroma bars decal on the front and he wore two fingerless gloves, one of which bearing a symbol that Compa didn't recognise. His loose black pants were suspended by a chain acting as a belt and a padlock for a buckle and his red-and-black sneakers had yellow laces. "S-Sorry, you caught me by surprise," he answered. "Can I help you with anything?"

Compa cleared her throat. "Y-Yes... I was wondering if you've ever heard of an item called a Key Fragment."

The male looked away from the nurse and rubbed the back of his head. "Oh, no I haven't. Sorry."

"Are you sure?" Compa insisted. "It's really important to us."

"I'm sorry but I've never heard of a Key Fragment. Do you need it for something?"

"Yes. I'm part of a party that's travelling around the landmasses to find the Key Fragments and save the world." Dwelling on the memories of her journey, excitement filled her body once more. It made Compa giggle slightly. "It's actually a lot of fun. We go on adventures, go to dungeons, beat up monsters and solve mysteries. It's just like a video game."

The boy's eyes widened. "Oh, really? You're an adventurer?" He then averted his gaze again, never making direct eye contact with the nurse. "I didn't really get that impression."

The nurse smiled. "I'm Compa."

"Oh, I'm, uh... Chris."

"So what about you, Chris? Do you travel?"

"Yeah I do, actually," he replied, making eye contact for once. "I'm... well, it's business."

"Oh? What kind of business? Are you a travelling salesman?" Compa asked while tilting her head.

That got a snigger out of Chris. "God no. I'm terrible with speaking to people. If I tried to sell anything to them, I'd probably be giving _them_ money."

Both of them laughed lightly. With the ice broken between them, they relaxed their postures. "So what do you do?" Compa asked again.

"To be honest, I'd rather not say. I'm travelling with some friends around the landmasses and that's all I'll say. Apart from that it's not as fun as I imagine hunting monsters would be."

"It's not fun all the time."

"Of course. Getting hurt's never fun." Chris ate another bread stick. "Damn, these things are good."

* * *

><p>Jacob and Gust followed IF through the crowd as she looked this way and that for Green Heart. They knew that she'd be annoyed if she found them tailing her so they made sure to keep their distance.<p>

Both of them were surprised when Yvoire stepped up to IF once she became relatively isolated from everyone else. "Excuse me, young Miss IF. I'm Leanbox's Archbishop, Yvoire."

IF simply crossed her arms. "Oh, hi. Sorry, I almost thought you were the Sanctified for a moment. Hey, is Green Heart around?"

"I am afraid she may not be able to attend tonight's banquet," Yvoire answered. "Her duties in Celestia keep her most occupied."

"What?" Gust whispered loudly enough for Jacob to hear. "Come on, Green Heart is why we attended party."

"He's lying," Jacob answered, gazing at Yvoire with narrowed eyes.

"Huh?"

"The CPUs all descended to Gamindustri when Momus attacked Celestia. If Vert's anywhere, she's here. IF knows it, too."

Gust blinked twice before looking back at IF and Yvoire. "Then... why would he lie?"

"I haven't a clue. Maybe he'll spill something."

IF raised an eyebrow. If she knew that Yvoire's claim was rubbish, she didn't let it show. "Really? Well, that's too bad. I was really looking forward to meeting her."

Yvoire nodded. "As her right hand man, it pleases me to hear that she has more followers... even if they are Guild Moderatists."

IF's eyes suddenly widened.

"IF's a Guild Moderatist?" Gust repeated in a whisper. "That... That..."

"Was completely expected?" Jacob added.

"Exactly. Not surprising twist."

"... You ran a background check on me?" IF asked. "Th-That's an invasion of privacy."

"I apologise but it was necessary. We had suspicions about you and your companions and we couldn't let them go unchecked." The Archbishop then stroked his chin. "You seem nervous. Would you like to continue this discussion outside? Perhaps some fresh air will do your disposition some good."

After a moment of hesitation, IF walked with Yvoire to the front doors of the Basilicom. Gust and Jacob sneakily followed behind them.

* * *

><p>IF and Yvoire exited the Basilicom and walked a short distance away. The Moderatist turned to face the Archbishop with crossed arms and a frown. Any other night, she would've taken in the lights shining through the stained glass windows of the Basilicom with mild traces of wonder and amusement. Tonight, however, she was focused on the man in front of her.<p>

"Make this quick. I don't like to leave my party alone for too long," IF snapped.

Yvoire paced back and forth. "Ten years ago, heretics banded together and forsook their CPUs for Lady White Heart. Known as the Guild, they then fled to Lowee. This took place after our Basilicom's purge. News from Lowee informs me that the Extremists are really giving the Basilicoms a hard time. I wonder how White Heart is coping with it all?"

Jacob and Gust were listening to the whole discussion behind the Basilicom doors, both of them positioned on opposite sides. Thankfully, IF and Yvoire forgot to shut them, leaving a small gap through which the duo could hear their debate. "You know," Jacob began saying to the alchemist, "I still don't get why the Guild members would be roughing up Blanc. I mean, they worship her and they specifically fled to Lowee. Why would the Extremists be attacking them?"

"Hush," Gush answered, causing Jacob to pout.

IF narrowed her eyes at the Archbishop. "... You're every bit as bigoted as I've heard you were. People are allowed to believe in whoever they want to believe. No one, least of all you, has the right to tell anyone who they can worship, what they can do, what they want to do or anything else. Those are _their_ choices to make. People are allowed to do whatever they want with their freedom."

"These heathens were born on Leanbox and they refuse to acknowledge Lady Green Heart! How does that make any kind of logical sense to you?!" Yvoire shouted. "Our Lady protects and blesses us! They should be thankful!"

"You're supposed to protect them, too! Instead, you tried to commit genocide and play it off as a righteous thing to do! And you know what the best part is? It didn't work! Now the Guild is in Lowee!"

"Where their true goddess lives," Jacob muttered.

"Their what?" Gust asked.

"I meant the goddess they worship."

"Ah."

Yvoire turned his head. Neither Jacob nor Gust could see if disgust was evident on his face. "... Enough about other lands. What matters is the here and now."

"Like the opportunity to kill me?" IF accused. "You call a Guild member out into the open like this far from everyone else. It's the logical thing to do."

Jacob and Gust prepared their weapons and tensed, ready to pounce at the slightest provocation.

Yvoire shook his head. "That would be the expectation but I have a better idea. Even though you're not from Leanbox, you worship Green Heart with great zeal. Therefore, I have a favour to ask of you. That friend of yours, the purple excitable one... Neptune, was it?"

IF bristled. "... What about her?"

Yvoire took a breath. "I need you to kill her."

IF's eyes shot open.

Jacob and Gust froze. Their breaths caught in their throats and, for a moment, they felt like they'd choke on them. "... What?" they muttered.

"W-What?!" IF stammered. "W-Why would you want that to happen to Neptune? What has she ever done to you?!"

"Calm yourself," ordered Yvoire with a raised hand. "You are unaware of this but she is one of Green Heart's worst enemies."

"How? How can a dunce like Neptune possibly be a threat to a CPU like Green Heart? What's so special about her that you'd ask me to kill her?!"

Yvoire sighed. "Neptune is not who you think she is, IF. If you knew who she really was, I doubt you'd treat her so well. Not even the most morally loose of scoundrels would worship more than one goddess, after all."

IF regarded Yvoire with cautious eyes. She took a step back, failing to hide her nervousness as she did so. "You know..."

"Know?" Yvoire might have raised an eyebrow. "Know wh-" The Archbishop stopped himself as a light bulb flashed on in his head. "Ah... so I was incorrect. You do know that Neptune is actually Purple Heart, CPU of Planeptune."

Jacob and Gust exchanged glances.

"How do you know that? Who told you?" IF demanded, taking a step forward.

"I have my ways," replied Yvoire with ease. "Now, Green Heart would eventually carry out the deed herself. I, however, would much rather she avoid spilling blood herself. War is not a pleasant thing."

"And you expect me to do it? I may not like Neptune that much compared to Green Heart but I'm not willing to kill her over it. There's no point."

"Isn't there? Well, maybe what I have to say will change your mind." Yvoire, with his hands behind his back, walked towards the brunette. "I understand you will continue worshipping Lady Green Heart no matter what happens. However, being a member of the Guild comes with far too much unnecessary baggage and it's not worth becoming a social pariah over. However..." Yvoire leaned down towards IF, "... what if, should you carry out and succeed in this task, Green Heart could legally make you a citizen of Leanbox, the Land of Green Pastures? You would be free to worship Green Heart as much as you like and no one would persecute you for it."

"Say no," Jacob whispered as he watched IF through the gap in the door. "Say no and walk away."

IF gulped and stepped back. "Th-That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I can't worship her. That's not why I'm doing this."

"You don't need to lie to me, IF," said Yvoire. "I understand how you feel. You want to worship Green Heart but you cannot. I can feel it now, you know. I can feel the fear in the back of your mind as you hide your beliefs. I can feel your frustration as you deny your own existence. I can feel the tears that you force down as you ignore your own heart and lock it away. You carry this guilt all alone just so you won't undergo harm. I am here to tell you, IF, that you don't have to shoulder that burden any more. We can free you from your pain. If I may ask, how long have you been with your adventuring party? Not long, I imagine. Do you honestly believe you'll stay together when you finish your quest? I highly doubt it. On the other hand, your faith in Green Heart will remain forever, as will her faith in you. That is, if you accept this offer."

IF didn't respond, so the silhouette continued. "I know that this is a lot for you to take in. Please forgive me for being so forthcoming with this information. Nevertheless, I would like you to think it over." From behind him, Yvoire pulled out a small glass vial sealed by a cork. The vial contained a viscous purple liquid, bubbling with toxicity. "When you have decided on the correct path, slip this into one of Neptune's meals. A single drop can take out a giant enemy crab so use it with discretion."

"Don't take it," Jacob urged quietly. "Turn away and come back here."

IF could not hear Jacob's prayers. Yvoire held the vial out in front of him and IF gently took it from his grasp with her right hand. She inspected it closely but Jacob doubted she was looking at how large bubbles would quickly grow on the surface only to pop when they got too big. Her eyes looked much deeper, far beyond the surface. She looked at if as if it held a key to a prison door.

"Give it back. Drop it on the ground. _Do not keep it,_" Jacob pleaded again.

"... I need proof," IF said suddenly. "If this is really Green Heart's desire, I need to know for sure."

Yvoire adjusted his hat. "Well, I suppose it cannot be helped. If it will help you overcome your resistance, I will organise for you and our Lady to meet in person at the Basilicom. Please keep an eye on your phone for you will get a message soon."

IF closed her eyes and her grip on the glass container tightened. Finally, she relaxed her grip and placed the vial in her jacket pocket.

Yvoire looked towards the doors. "Your party might be worried about you. Let's go back to the banquet."

As Yvoire and IF walked back, Jacob quickly stood and walked back down the corridors with Gust at his side. Gust felt a bit nervous to start speaking given Jacob's apparent anger but she pressed anyway. "So what now?"

"Logically, we need to tell Neptune and the others what happened," he responded.

"We really just tell them that IF wants to poison Neptune?"

"We don't know she wants to do that for sure," Jacob snapped. "We're going to tell Neptune and the others exactly what happened in that conversation and for them to be on their guard. We're not going to treat IF any differently until we've cleared everything up."

"What's there to clear up?"

"Her motives for actually taking the poison, for one. There's got to be a reason why she'd even pause and think about this. Also, I want to know who the hell told Yvoire that Neptune was Purple Heart."

Both of them thought in silence as they continued walking back to the party. All of a sudden, Jacob snapped his fingers. "The Evangelist."

"Who?"

"Oh right, you haven't met her. She's from Lowee and she told us about Overlord Momus. She also believes that nothing can stand up against him and she knows that Neptune's a CPU. She told Yvoire about us and that Neptune's Purple Heart. Why she'd do that, I have no idea."

Gust stroked her chin. "If she Lowee Evangelist, killing Neptune also help Lowee."

Jacob sighed. "That's true but... I can't help but feel like I'm missing something."

* * *

><p>Back at the party, Compa was eating some chocolate-coated strawberries. "What about you? Do you fight monsters?" she asked Chris.<p>

"Only when I have to," the male answered. "I know how to fight but it's just not my thing. I prefer a more peaceful approach."

Compa sighed. "That's the exact opposite of my team. Pretty much all of them just itch for the opportunity to kill something."

"Well, you've got to love your job, right? I mean, being an adventurer, all you ever do is go through one-level dungeons and slaughter everything that comes your way. From what I've read, it's not particularly varied."

"That's true but-"

"Compa, we need to talk," Jacob declared all of a sudden as he walked up to the surprised nurse with Gust next to him. "It's... who are you?" he asked Chris with eyes partly filled with curiosity.

"U-Um..." Chris' stammer returned to him as he leaned back slightly.

"This is Chris," Compa introduced. "He travels the landmasses like we do. Chris, this is Jacob. He's one of my party members."

"Pleasure to meet you." Jacob extended a hand to the other male. "I'm offering a handshake, by the way."

"I-I see..." With his shaking hand, Chris lightly grasped Jacob's and slowly shook it up and down.

Jacob released his grasp. "You're not a silhouette."

"No, I'm not," Chris responded.

"Can you fight?"

"A bit, yeah..."

"Wanna join our party?"

"W-What?!" Chris shouted, causing some of the other party-goers to look in their direction. Chris, Jacob and Compa all shrunk in embarrassment. "Sorry about that..."

"It's okay..." Jacob answered with a subdued voice.

"He's got a job, sorry," explained Compa.

"Y-Yeah, I'm just here having a break... Besides, monster hunting does sound fun and all but it's not my kind of thing, sorry."

"I completely understand." Jacob then turned to the nurse. "Compa, we need to talk as a party for a bit. Where are Neptune and Nisa?"

"Oh, I think they went over that way." Compa pointed off into the further part of the room, from where a disgruntled atmosphere could be sensed.

"Excellent." Jacob turned back to Chris. "Sorry about that. Have a good evening."

"See you later, Chris," farewelled Compa as she followed Jacob and Gust to where she pointed.

* * *

><p>"For the last time, no I have not heard of a Key Fragment," a noble silhouette barked at Neptune and Nisa.<p>

"Are you super duper with a cherry on-"

"Yes I am very sure! Now leave me alone!" The noble then stormed off, leaving the two blood sisters alone.

Neptune placed her hands on her hips. "That's the seventh one we've talked to. Stupid NPCs that never say any more than four lines of dialogue at best..."

To comfort the CPU, Nisa patted her shoulder. "Now now, sister. I'm sure that, if we persevere, a clue will pop up sooner or later."

"Or you could be funny background event while we progress plot," said Gust as she approached them with Jacob and Compa.

"Hey! I can't be part of a funny background event! I'm too important!" cried Neptune.

"Whatever," said Jacob. "We have something important to talk about."

"Ooh, do you know where the Key Fragment is?"

Jacob sighed. "I wish. Unfortunately, it's much worse than that. Neptune, IF may or may not be planning to kill you."

Compa and Nisa paled. Their eyes slightly quiver.

"... What?" Neptune was much less visual with her confusion but made up for it by being more vocal. "Why would Iffy wanna kill me?"

"I don't know..." Jacob rubbed his forehead with his right hand. "Gust and I overheard her talking with Yvoire. Yvoire knows she's a Guild Moderatist and that you're a CPU."

"_WHA-_"

"Keep it down!" Jacob whispered harshly as he covered Neptune's mouth with his hand. He took it away when he was certain Neptune wouldn't try that again. "Now, I know it's a shock."

"You're telling me. Iffy's a Guild Moderatist? I would never have guessed that."

"... What? You're actually surprised by that?"

"As am I!" Nisa exclaimed defensively. "I honestly believed IF was just another girl that didn't have any plot-moving dark secrets. Now I feel bad for expressing my dislike of heretics back in Lastation." The heroine then turned to back the nurse. "What about you? Do you have any dark secrets?"

"Oh n-n-no!" Compa stammered. "I'm a nurse in training from Planeptune and I came on this adventure because people need help. I don't even know what's happening half the time."

"How are you not surprised?" Neptune inquired of Jacob.

"Well, I can't say I saw it coming but it's not particularly shocking," responded the male.

"Moving on," said Gust sternly, "Yvoire possibly informed by Evangelist for motives unknown. Furthermore, Yvoire has given IF poison to deal with Neptune."

"Also," Jacob picked up, "IF's a bit shaken about the whole thing so I dunno if she's actually going to go through with it. Better yet, Yvoire's going to organise a time for IF to meet Vert because she wants to know for sure if Vert really wants her to poison you."

Neptune puffed out her cheeks as she thought. "So I just don't eat what Iffy gives to me? Sounds easy."

"Also very thick poison," Gust added. "Hard to hide."

Compa let out a breath as she placed a hand over her heart.

Nisa rubbed her left arm, which hung by her side. "So... what do we do now?"

"First of all," Jacob raised his index finger, "we don't tell IF. I have no idea why she's doing this or if she'd even do it. She's thinking about it, sure, but we should leave her alone until she does something direct. She should never know that we know. All we have to worry about is never letting her shop for food or go out alone."

"Also stay alert for alternative methods of assassination," added Gust. "She will catch on that poisoning too hard and try some other way to kill Neptune."

"_If_ she's going to kill Neptune in the first place," Nisa argued, fist clenched.

Jacob raised a flat hand. "Sensei, don't worry about it. Gust has got a point but so do you."

"Um, what do we do about IF meeting Vert?" Compa inquired.

Gust turned around and quickly tugged on Jacob's jacket. "Oh, hi IF!"

The rest of the party turned to face the Guild Moderatist. She was never the most cheerful girl but now she just looked crushed. Her shoulders were slightly slumped and her eyes were unfocused. That is, they were before Gust greeted her, making her jump slightly. "Oh, h-hi. I was wondering where you all were. I had to ask some guy with a stammer where you were."

"Oh, that must have been Chris," said Compa. "He's here on business but he travels the landmasses like we do."

"Oh, okay." IF then thought about Compa's statement a bit more and sighed. "Jacob, did you ask him if he wanted to join the party?"

"Hey, he said he could fight and he wasn't a silhouette," defended Jacob. "There aren't a lot of non-silhouettes that aren't joining us."

IF didn't argue back, most likely because she was just as tired as she looked and didn't have the energy. "Hey, uh, can we leave? I was just talking with the Archbishop and he said Vert's not here."

"Bulldust."

"Yeah, I know. However, we're not going to see her if he has his way. There's really no more point for us being here."

Compa laced her fingers together. "IF, are you okay? You look really depressed."

IF blinked and flinched a bit from Compa's concern. "Y-Yeah, I'm just fine. I'm just a bit tired, that's all. Can we go, please?"

The rest of the party glanced at Neptune, waiting for her decision.

Neptune shrugged. "Eh, it feels like a waste of good food but, when the going gets long, the tough better get going. Let's go."

"It's 'when the going gets tough, the tough get going'," reminded IF as she took the lead when the party left the room.

From behind her, Compa and Neptune looked at each other with worry.

Nisa looked up at Jacob. "My student, if you have any brilliant plans on how to handle this situation, now would be a good time to execute them," she whispered.

"No," Jacob whispered back. "I know a better time."

* * *

><p><strong>Weren't expecting Glitch from Of Hearts And Souls to show up, were you? Heh heh heh.<strong>

**Wait, hold on, what? ... Oh, it was the rest the chapter you weren't expecting... Okay then.**

**Well, then you'll hardly expect the next chapter! And don't worry; I think I've run out of tree things to use. By the way, did anyone actually get the joke in the title of Chapter 24? Or was it just not funny? Most likely just not funny.**


	27. Call Me

**Alrighty then! Usual routine GO!**

**Saturn56: He might. Or he might not. And he might. Or he might not.**

**SS7x3: Glad you liked it. For a game like this, it's important to have more human moments here and there. And no, no more scenes of Jacob's family for as long as I decide. As for the title thing... well, 'Hoping the Grass is Greener'? Leanbox is the Land of Green Pastures? They're going from plotless to hopefully less plotless? 'The grass is greener on the other side'? It was a double joke... Hello?**

**... Damn it, I reckon I lost a reader there.**

**Eisenfaust: As always, it will happen so calm yo self, I agree, it's up to them, I dunno, no I would not and I'll see what I can do. Thank you.**

**mastermind: Go onto deviantART and search for "Neptunia Jacob".**

**Usual routine step 2 GO!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 27: Call Me...<strong>

The party retreated back to the inn. For the rest of the night and the next day up to and including midday, IF stayed inside the inn so not much surveillance was necessary. In the afternoon, Jacob was reading more of GG while taking glances out of the corner of his eye at IF, who was preoccupied with her phone. The rest of the party had gone out to the arcade. Most likely, Nisa was beating Neptune badly at a fighting game again.

Neptune suddenly burst through the door. "Good news, everyone!" she announced with a bright smile that would never be on the face of someone that just suffered nine consecutive losses in an arcade fighting game.

"There's only two of us," Jacob responded.

"That's still everyone in this room so shut your face!" Neptune countered, still beaming. "Now, we just had a teensy-weensy talk with our generous hosts of this here inn and we learned that there are certain... favours we can call upon to make our experiences as pleasant as possible. I think that's what they said, anyway. I got distracted when they brought up jelly beans."

By this point, both Jacob and IF were looking at Neptune like she was holding a grenade in her hand; it looked safe enough but there was no telling whether or not it was going to blow up at any given moment. "Neptune, what did you do?" Jacob asked.

Neptune, with an innocent smile and a coy finger to her lips, looked around the room currently belonging to Gust, Compa, Jacob and IF. "I was just thinking to myself that, boy oh boy, this room was emptier than a house in a GameKid game. It could use with a sprucing up or two, you know what I'm saying?"

"_What did you do?_" Jacob asked again, placing down his book.

"Nep... Nep..." Compa's strained voice drifted into the room from the corridor, "we... could use... a hand..."

"Comin' right up!" Neptune replied before dashing back into the corridor. Moments later, she returned with Compa and Gust, carrying a stand made from light brown wood. It had a wide empty space in between two square doors and it looked strong enough to support a great deal of weight. With Compa and Neptune carrying either end and Gust supporting the middle, the stand was set down down next to the wall opposite the windows.

"Whew." Neptune wiped her forehead with her hoodie sleeve.

"Neptune, why do we now have a TV stand?" Jacob asked through gritted teeth, standing up.

"I-Is the motel aware of this? Are we even allowed?" IF asked.

"Yeah..." Gust panted, lying down on the carpet. "gave us A-OK... Lungs exploded..."

Compa was resting next to Gust, equally out of breath. "I... carry... bodies... not... wooden... stands..."

"S-Sister!" Nisa's distressed voice flew into the room. "I could use some assistance here!"

"I'm on my way!" Neptune once again ran out and returned. This time, she was helping Nisa carry a very large and bulky green TV. Carefully, the two of them brought it into the room and placed it on top of the stand.

As soon as her hands were free, Nisa immediately flopped onto the floor. "Justice power... failing... need rest..."

"What the almighty hell is this?!" Jacob shouted.

Neptune stretched her arms upwards. "This, Sparky, is our new TV complete with a new stand! No more will we need to go to the arcade to entertain ourselves. Now we can just stay home all day and watch TV!"

"B-But this isn't even our room!" Jacob cried. "We're just borrowing it! And what happens when you find there's nothing to watch on TV?"

"Then we play on Leanbox's console!" As she announced this, the goddess pulled out from her pocket dimension what Jacob recognised as an Xbox 360. "Free with two controllers and a copy of Hoop 3: TSDO!" Neptune pulled these items out as well, holding them and almost bursting with excitement.

"W-W-Wait!" IF called, shooting up from her bed and running up to Neptune. "H-How much did you spend on all of this? Do we even have a single credit left over?!"

"Sure we do!" Neptune casually answered with her arms on her hips. "It's fifty credits a night and we're definitely not staying here forever."

Jacob and IF looked at Neptune like she was speaking pig latin.

"Rented... front desk..." Gust breathed out.

"Oh... s-so the inn rents out Leanbox's console to rooms?" IF asked, calm once more.

"Uh huh!" Neptune nodded. "Once we get this baby up and running, we'll have something else to occupy us other than books and the radio!"

IF's hand went up to her head as she sighed.

"I dunno... having to lug a TV stand and a TV up the stairs sounds like too much," said Jacob. "You'd think there'd be one of each in every room."

"You'd... think so... and you'd... be wrong..." Gust panted.

IF's phone emitted a jingle, causing the entire party to snap their heads towards her. The sudden attention didn't startle the brunette at all; she read the message with anticipation that she fought off from showing on her face before she pocketed her phone. "I've got something to take care of at the Basilicom."

"Hold on." Jacob reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper which he then handed to IF. "Make sure to buy those on the way back."

IF was momentarily speechless as if caught off guard. "Oh, o-okay. Well, see ya." The girl then pocketed the paper and walked out the door with a slightly faster gait than normal.

"Thank you, Jake..." said Compa, still exhausted.

"S'all right. I'm gonna go and keep an eye on her. See you all later."

"Bye, Sparky! We'll have this set up when you get back!" Neptune called as Jacob walked out the door.

* * *

><p>Jacob stuck to IF's trail diligently. IF didn't pay more attention to her surroundings than usual and, if she was nervous, she hid it very well. She had no reason to suspect that Jacob was spying on her; to the knowledge of her party, she was simply going to the Basilicom for a nice and easy job. Who would think to follow her, and for what cause?<p>

When the gondola came into view, Jacob immediately slipped into the bushes. He waited patiently as IF hopped in and the transport slowly took her up to the Basilicom's island. When he was sure that the gondola came to a stop, he counted to five and then flew up, making sure to stay low so that IF wouldn't see him if she happened to turn around. Upon reaching the island, he made his way through the forest and stopped when he saw the front doors. Fortunately, no one was around so he quickly flew up to the roof of the building. Jacob then walked across the roof until he came to a familiar glass dome. He lied down on the roof, minimizing the chances of anyone seeing him if they looked up, and waited with bated breath.

Finally, the door leading into the room opened.

Yvoire walked into the room with IF right behind him. "Lady Green Heart will be with you momentarily. Please act as would be appropriate around a CPU." The silhouette then left the room, leaving IF alone the room with the green statue surrounded by purple curtains.

"... You are the one the Archbishop wished me to see?"

IF quickly turned towards the tired voice and her breath caught in her throat. Standing in front of her was a woman with long wavy blonde hair and blue eyes that were not fully open. She wore a small white green-lined neckpiece which was connected by two straps of white linen to the parts of her strapless dress that covered her fantastically large bosom, larger than even Compa's by a fair amount. The torso of the ankle-length dress was emerald with gold lining and its skirt, with a waist-high slit showing off her left leg, was a white silk but it ended with an apricot satin. Two white gold-lined straps held in place on either hip a large pink satin ribbon that resembled a folded curtain. Around each of her biceps was a green band and she wore green and white gloves with large cuffs that looked like they were shielding her forearms.

"It's nice to meet you. I am the CPU Green Heart, the guardian of this pla..." Vert interrupted herself with a yawn.

With great restraint, Jacob didn't correct what she almost said and give himself away.

"Y-Yes, hello!" stammered IF, standing unusually straight while her face began to turn a shade of red. "My name's IF. It's an honour to meet you... you..." As IF looked at Vert, she loosened her posture and looked at her more analytically. "You look really... tired... Are you okay, Lady Green Heart?"

"I was up late. I don't think I got enough sleep..." One of Green Heart's hands went up to her forehead. "Ugh, I feel faint... Could I take your hand?"

IF wasn't thinking very clearly and her open hand extended towards the CPU almost on its own. The fatigued goddess took the hand and collapsed onto IF almost immediately after. If, luckily enough, was able to support the tall, busty CPU. "L-Lady Green Heart?! A-Are you okay? W-What c-can I d-do?"

"Do you have a speech impediment? Or are you that ner... nerv..." Vert yawned once again. "I can't go on... I need..."

"P-Please don't fall asleep!" In a panic, IF looked everywhere in the glass dome. "Is there a bed nearby? Or anything? I'll have to try the next room..."

"Most people I meet... speak like you at first... but... I don't like... bald people..." Vert droned. "Little boy... no, not there... Don't shake me... I'll scratch you up..."

Even with the weight of the sleeping CPU, IF helped her into the next room with laborious steps.

On the roof, Jacob's hands were in his hair and he was resisting every urge to shout at IF. After taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down, he flew over to the room where IF had taken the CPU. He floated down the wall, praying that IF and Vert didn't go anywhere unexpected where he couldn't follow them. Fortunately, when he was at a slightly open window, he heard a door open and lied down beneath the window, straining to hear what was going on inside.

As IF carried the goddess to her room and laid her down on her bed, she noted that it was extravagant yet strange at the same time. The green gold-lined rug, the teal curtains for the arch windows and the green bed sheet contrasted nicely with the beige walls and brown wooden barrel roof. In addition, against one of the walls was a detailed and finely crafted white TV stand with a TV on top of it. The TV was small and had a thin green screen but it had a beautifully nuanced gold stand and frame. However, underneath the TV stand was a small pink console like an old Lastation model with a pink controller plugged into it via a very old-fashioned cord. To add on to the oddness, on top of Vert's white wardrobe, bookshelf, dresser, glass door cabinet, doorless cabinet, rectangular table and shelf mounted on the wall as well as in the doorless cabinet were rows of figurines of males you'd expect to find in anime. In addition, the walls were decorated with nicely framed pictures of anime males drawn in a rather erotic manner.

After five minutes, the CPU was sitting up again on the edge of her bed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep while a guest was present."

"I-I don't mind," IF assured, still flustered. "Being a CPU and protecting your landmass and your Basilicom must be very taxing on you."

Vert let out a small sigh. "Us CPUs are born with our abilities. Even in our sleep, our presence alone protects our planet."

"P-Planet, my Lady?"

Vert's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh my, I'm terribly sorry. I, of course, meant to say our presence alone protects our _landmass_. I'm afraid I'm not fully awake yet."

Jacob pumped his fist.

"You seem incredibly tense. Please, sit down next to me." Vert shuffled over to made some room on the edge of the bed for IF.

IF quickly gulped. "O-Oh no, I couldn't! I-I'm perfectly fine s-standing up, my Lady!"

A small smile made its way to the CPU's face. "Now, now. There's no reason to be so anxious. Please, sit down and rest."

Breathing heavily, the Moderatist slowly and deliberately sat down next to the goddess on the bed. "I-It's incredibly soft..."

Vert didn't seem to be focusing on IF at the moment. "I couldn't leave. I was the only one, glowing a bright red. I needed to help the beginners..."

Listening to the CPU's musing, IF's eyes were nearly sparkling. "Leave? Glow? The life of a goddess must be more complicated than I'll ever be able to comprehend..."

"Hm? Oh, I'm talking about an MMO that I've been really into these days. It was hard to get a hold of but I managed to import a copy of it from Planeptune. You've been in Planeptune, right? Have you ever seen it?"

IF blinked. She did not expect such a mundane response. "Y-Yes, I have... There are plenty of game shops there. You really like games, my Lady?"

Vert smiled. "There's no need to be so formal. Indeed, I enjoy the Three Sacred Treasures Gamindustri has to offer me. Video games, manga and anime... who could ask for more? I think it also gives me more believers. Unfortunately, when everyone else is incapable of fighting on your level in a fighting game, it gets kind of boring. Are you good at fighting games?"

If, by some chance, IF's blush wasn't actually noticeable before, it most certainly was now. "A-Are you asking me to play a game with you? A C-CPU? B-But I'm j-just a citizen!"

"Oh, nonsense. In a video game, everyone is equal." Without waiting for another refusal, Vert stood up from the bed and walked over to the cabinet with the glass doors and opened it. She took out a game case and took it back to IF. "Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of multiplayer games. This one's only single player but would you like to give it a go? It's very well loved and I can teach you how to play."

IF, still blushing, nodded. "S-Sure... I guess..."

During the next ten minutes, Jacob listened to IF play Vert's game. He stayed still underneath the open glass, letting the sounds of surprised yelps from IF, giggles from Vert and screaming, groaning, snarling, revving, slashing, bludgeoning and grievous bodily harm from the TV wash over him. "If this goes on any longer, I may just decompose..." he whispered.

"L... Lady Green Heart?" IF spoke up. "D-Do you... have... any other games? I d-don't think this... zombie mall-survival blood fest is... th-the kind of thing for me..."

Vert picked up the case and frowned when she looked over the front cover. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Is an M-rated game too intense for you?"

"Not really..." IF murmured. "I just... prefer something less mindless, my lady."

"I told you before, you do not need to be so formal," said Vert with another smile. "Please, be natural. Treat me as if you would treat a friend."

"A... A f-f-friend...?" IF turned away so that the CPU would not see her red face. "I... I really can't...! That'd be inappropriate of me..."

"I assure you, it's perfectly fine. How about I do it? Would it help you relax if I were to call you... hm... how about Iffy?"

IF froze. "If... Iffy...?" she repeated with a breaking voice. Her vision began to blur and she could hear her own heartbeat. Her face paled and her irises shrunk. "Oh... Oh, I don't... think..."

Vert leaned back in mild surprise as IF fell over with an audible thud.

"Are you _kidding me?!_" Jacob hissed.

"Huh?"

Jacob quickly covered his mouth with both hands.

Vert continued looking out the window for a few more seconds before shrugging. "I mustn't be fully awake, yet." She turned her attention back to IF. "Goodness, you really do need to calm down..." The goddess picked up the brunette with ease and carried her to the bed. After tucking her in, she sat at the end, waiting patiently for her to awake.

Five minutes later, IF sat up with a groan and rubbed her eyes. "Where... am I...?"

Vert giggled. "Hello, Iffy. Did you have a nice rest?"

No sooner than hearing Vert's greeting did IF scream and shuffle back with astounding volume and speed. "L-L-L-L-L-Lady Green Heart? What am I doing h-here?"

"Calm down." The blonde goddess leaned forward and placed a hand on the brunette's shoulder, which did nothing to ease said brunette. "Don't you remember? you fainted almost immediately after I called you Iffy."

IF still breathed in an out so quickly and loudly that she felt like she'd need an asthma puffer if she continued.

This earned a pout from the goddess. "My word, you really are nervous. Am I really not desirable to be around?"

_"No!_" screamed IF so loudly that Vert retracted her hand and recoiled. "I-I mean, I'm sorry, it's just... just..." IF took a deep breath. "... I'm only a civilian."

"Are you still concerned about that? Iffy, you're not a subject here. You're a guest. It's not often I have those, you know."

IF turned her blushing face towards the nearest window.

"Hm..." Vert clasped her hands together. "Let's talk a bit. You go around fighting monsters, right?"

Several moments passed before IF nodded slowly.

A satisfied grin appeared on Vert's face. "In that case, I may have something for you." IF watched, confused as the CPU slid stepped up from the bed only to crouch down. She flipped the blanket up so that she could get underneath it and then grunted in exertion. "I know it's under here somewhere..." she groaned. "This really isn't my sort of daily exer- aha! Here it is!"

By the time Vert had stood up again, IF's blush had disappeared. Vert held in her hands a small box made from a dark wood. It had white markings painted on it and the front of it had a white-painted symbol that looked sort of like an A with the legs curving so that they pointed to opposite sides. Vert put her finger to her lips and mouthed 'shh' with a wink, making IF squirm slightly. With great delicacy, the CPU opened the box and brought it down so that IF may look at the contents.

"... Vambraces, my lady?" IF asked.

"Iffy, please just call me Vert. Just once?"

IF sighed. "Okay... I'll try..." The brunette took a deep breath. "What are they, V... Vert?"

Vert beamed. "I knew you could do it, Iffy! Was that so hard?"

She didn't look Vert in the eye but IF cracked an awkward smile regardless.

The goddess handed the box over to IF. "Go on, try them on."

"M-Me?" IF stammered, pointing at herself.

"Well, is there anyone else here?"

"These grass stains are going to look awful..." Jacob murmured as he scratched his back.

"W-Well, okay..." After a bit of fiddling around, one of the vambraces was secured on IF's left forearm. While the leather rested gently on her skin, the outside of the vambrace was covered in a strong frame of steel. Underneath the vambrace was a thin, rectangular piece of metal with a small wheel embedded at the bottom of its length.

"Go on, try it out," Vert urged.

"Is this one of those things that you need to think to work before it'll actually work?" IF inquired.

"You need to flex a certain muscle to press the button inside the vambrace to trigger it. Basically, yes. Also, make sure to keep your arm straight."

"Why?" IF asked while focusing on flexing the muscles in her forearm this way and that.

_Shk!_

"_Whoa!_" A thin blade shot out from the top of the metal shaft and extended beyond the Moderatist's middle finger.

"Do you like it?" Vert asked, grinning like a toddler. "We call it the hidden blade. With our prized medieval aesthetic, we've been forced to be a bit more creative with our weaponry to compete with the other landmasses."

After successfully retracting the blade again, IF's breathing gradually returned to its natural state. "W-What kind of weapon is that?"

"It's a knife weapon we developed for rogue-type characters. It can also fire bullets, if that's your concern." Picking up the other vambrace, Vert pointed to the thin steel barrel that was attached to the side of the rectangle. "See?"

"... How would I fire that?"

"Pretty much the same but you have to move your thumb a bit to the left, or so it goes."

Keeping her left arm pointed away from her, IF slid the weapon off with the utmost caution. "No offence but I think it's a hazard just waiting to happen."

"Why do you say that? If you do not want to extend the blade, simply do not press the button."

"But how am I supposed to avoid doing that? What if I'm surprised and I press the button by accident? I could accidentally kill myself or someone else."

"Well... I admit that poses a problem..."

"And what if I'm on my phone or playing a game? That's one good piece of hardware skewered and, if it's against my ear, I might lose that as well."

Hearing the word 'game' on the topic of things getting accidentally destroyed, the briefest yet most powerful instance of sheer, undiluted terror flashed through Vert's eyes. "I-I hadn't thought of that..." Quickly and with order, Vert placed her hidden blade back inside the box and extended her arm out towards IF's. "You are absolutely right. These blades are riddled with grave errors. I will have them redesigned immediately."

IF looked down at Vert's hand that patiently waited for the other hidden blade in IF's grasp. Before she could suppress the urge, she sniggered.

"... What is so funny?" asked the CPU with uncertainty.

"I'm... I'm sorry..." said IF when she composed herself. "I've never actually been in a situation like this before..."

"Where people offer you free weapons?"

"Hell no." IF handed her the other vambrace. "My party and I get offered those all the time."

"Party?" Vert raised an eyebrow in intrigue as she returned the weapons to the box. "So you venture through the landmasses, conquering dungeons and monsters of all shapes and sizes?"

"You didn't know?"

"I assumed you acted alone. Oh, how I'm jealous. What's the rest of your party like?"

"Well, they're..."

_"I'm Jacob." He extended a hand to her. "Pleasure to meet you."_

_She looked at it oddly before she looked at him oddly. "You know, you shouldn't be doing that to just any random person you meet; they could take advantage of you. I mean, being someone's blood brother doesn't mean-"_

_"It's a handshake," Compa and Jacob said simultaneously, the former cheery and the latter deadpan. "It's a form of greeting," Jacob finished alone._

_"… Oh. Well," IF reached out to Jacob's hand and gave it a half-hearted shake, "It's nice to meet you, too."_

IF paused.

Vert blinked. "Iffy?"

"Oh, sorry. My party is... well, a bit odd."

_"Compa, why do you read GG? It's because you like it, right?"_

_"… yes?"_

_"So, video game life or no, you like reading GG."_

_Compa slowly nodded._

_"And eating toast? School? Talking to your Grandpa? You enjoy all those things too, right?"_

_Compa nodded a bit less slowly._

_Neptune smiled and took her hands off of Compa's shoulders and put them on her hips. "Then it doesn't matter if this is all a video game or not. You keep doing things that you enjoy. So what if it isn't real? It wouldn't make a difference if it was."_

_Compa contemplated all of this, nodding very slowly. "Thank you, Nep-Nep…" she responded as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "That makes me feel a bit better."_

IF rubbed the back of her head. "But... they surprise me a lot."

"How?"

"They may be goofballs but there's a hell of a lot more to them than that."

Vert held her hands together. "How strong are they?"

"Very," IF answered with a slightly proud smile.

Vert smiled in amusement in return. "Would you say they're invincible?"

_At once, Arfoire charged forward at Jacob. "Nnnnnnnnngh!" It was obvious that Jacob's attack was hurting her but she disregarded it anyway. Jacob attempted to deliver a quick jab to her face when she got close but Jacob had no skill in the area of hand-to-hand combat so his punch was easily dodged. Arfoire decided that an appropriate counterattack would be to pierce him in the stomach._

_"**ARGH!**" The spearhead went in quite a bit, especially after Arfoire raised the spear so that Jacob was hoisted into the air. She then shook him off the spear, allowing him to fall to the hard ground. Blood was pouring out of the cross-shaped wound in his stomach._

_"JAKE!" Compa rushed towards Jacob but was intercepted by Arfoire, who attempted to slash Compa vertically. However, Arfoire was intercepted by Purple Heart._

_"Compa, get to Jacob and treat his wounds now!" Purple Heart batted Arfoire away. "Iffy and I will take care of Arfoire!"_

_"R-Right!" Compa ran to Jacob and knelt down beside him. "Jake, are you okay?" she asked as she rolled Jacob onto his back so that the blood would stop pouring out._

_"Urgh..." Jacob could barely respond. His eyes were half closed and his skin was looking pale._

_"Don't worry; you'll be okay!" Compa took out some gauze and began wrapping it around Jacob's torso._

IF winced. "No... no one's invincible."

The smile disappeared from Vert's face. "Iffy, what's wrong?"

_"You know..." he started, "... it didn't occur to me before then that I could actually... wind up in a hospital because of this. I mean, I did okay against the Sand Worm…"_

_"It's only going to get harder from here," stated IF. "You think you can take it?"_

_Jacob exhaled through his nose. "Back where I came from, we don't go on adventures or fight. We do have some dangerous animals but we have places where humans go and where animals go. They don't cross over much. Anyway, we get through life through money and jobs that don't involve violence. It's pretty good, especially as I'm not out of school yet and I can spend most of my time playing video games and eating and… playing Connect 4 with my dad and…"_

_The silence was broken by Compa. "You can say it. We won't blame you."_

_Jacob sighed. He looked out the window and then closed his eyes. "... I want to go home."_

_Compa gave him a hug. "I know."_

_Jacob returned the hug. "Thanks."_

"Nothing, it's just..." The brunette sighed. "I hate being powerless. It feels like we're not strong enough. Hell, we're meant to be heroes yet we're the ones getting rescued...

_"Sorry," Nisa apologised, not looking as haughty as before. "I went full-force on that one. She might wake up in a few weeks." She grinned and walked towards the monster. "I'll take care of this monster myself. Leave it to me!"_

_"Hey, hold on a sec," Jacob began._

_Unfortunately, Nisa was one step ahead of him; with one powerful step, she propelled herself towards the monster like a torpedo. She span in the air so that her two feet were pointed at the monster. "HYAH!" When she made contact with the monster, she pushed with all her might. The monster was kicked a few meters away as she backflipped into the air and landed perfectly._

"... Although it is pretty cool when we recruit our saviours into the party."

"Oh, one of your party members is a hero?"

IF let out a small laugh. "Yeah. She's a bit of an oddball but she's strong and dependable."

Vert let out a small amused breath. "But, as you said, no one is invincible."

_Without a word, Neptune stood up, much to the surprise and confusion of her comrades. Black Heart was also confused as Neptune walked to her with an unusually solemn expression on her face._

_The most surprising thing to happen was Neptune wrapping her arms around Black Heart and bringing her in close for a hug._

_"Hey, don't be so down in the dumps," Neptune said while resting her head on Black Heart's shoulder. "I'm still bouncing and breathing, alright?"_

_Slowly, Black Heart's arms wrapped around Neptune._

_"... Uh, whatcha doin'?" Neptune asked, slightly confused._

_"I'm... sorry..." Black Heart apologised in between her sobs. "I didn't mean to... I didn't want to, but..."_

IF looked towards the floor. "... That's right. Even the strongest of us break sometimes."

Vert raised an eyebrow. "You must go through a lot."

"Sometimes," the Moderatist responded with a nod. "Mainly, it's monsters. Sometimes, it's disagreeable people."

Vert rolled her eyes. "I know how that feels."

_"That's nice," Compa answered. "It doesn't help us but it is good to know that everything's peaceful. Well, if you don't know where to find the Key Fragment or a Guard Vermin, Histoire also apparently said that they were guarded by 'strong monsters'. Do you know where we could find any?"_

_Blanc's eye twitched. "Your quest is a load of bullcrap. Stop wasting my time."_

_"Hey, now." Jacob stepped forward, having had his button pressed. "This is really important stuff, you hear? If we're going to drive Momus out of Celestia, we ne-"_

_"_Shut up, already!_" Blanc's stoicism had been shattered. "As a goddess, I can crush Momus without dragging stupid outsiders into it! I've never heard of your stupid Key Fragment and, as far as I care, it doesn't exist! Cut this shit out and get the hell out of my Basilicom now!"_

_Blanc didn't look at the shell-shocked party as she stormed back behind her purple curtains._

_"... Well," said IF. "Alright then. Let's go, everyone. It's clear that this goddess doesn't feel like talking to us."_

IF sighed. "I bet you do."

A gradual silence filled the room. After she coughed lightly, Vert spoke up. "So do you have any other party members?"

"Oh, yeah. We also have an alchemist. She's..."

_She pulled out another flask as well as two bottles of different fluids and another box of powder. After mixing them all together like she did with Compa's, the end result did not explode. "... There," she said, pleased with herself as she poured the contents of her glass container into a small cup._

_"Is it ready yet?" Neptune asked once more._

_"Yes," the alchemist answered before handing the cup to Compa. "Have patient drink all of it. Cure cold in no time."_

_"Oh, thank you so much." Compa took the medicine from Gust and was about to give it to Neptune but she noticed Gust's expectant outstretched hand. "Oh, what's... this? Do you want a hand shake?"_

_"For ingredients and labour," Gust replied simply._

_"What? You charge?!"_

_Gust was completely indifferent to Compa's shock. "Oh yes. Valuable ingredients. But, just for you, don't worry about labour this time."_

"... capable yet untrustworthy," IF commented.

Vert sighed and leaned back. "I see. The business-savvy rarely act out of altruism. It is an odd choice, though. Why would you need an alchemist? Questing involves little more than fighting monsters. What else do you do?"

_"I have a favour to ask of you. That friend of yours, the purple excitable one... Neptune, was it?"_

_IF bristled. "... What about her?"_

_Yvoire took a breath. "I need you to kill her."_

_IF's eyes shot open._

_"... I know that this is a lot for you to take in. Please forgive me for being so forthcoming with this information. Nevertheless, I would like you to think it over." From behind him, Yvoire pulled out a small glass vial sealed by a cork. The vial contained a viscous purple liquid, bubbling with toxicity. "When you have decided on the correct path, slip this into one of Neptune's meals. A single drop can take out a giant enemy crab so use it with discretion."_

_IF closed her eyes and her grip on the glass container tightened. Finally, she relaxed her grip and placed the vial in her jacket pocket._

IF bristled. "A... A lot..."

"Huh?"

IF closed her eyes. "More than you'll ever know..."

Another silence surrounded the two. IF continued looking at the floor, looking at her thoughts and her own mind.

Vert looked at IF's face. "... Iffy, what are you thinking about?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm okay... Just fine..." IF sighed and stood up from the bed. "Look, thanks for seeing me but I really gotta go. My party's waiting for me."

"I understand. Please take care."

IF rubbed the back of her head. "Say... can I borrow those hidden blades?"

"Are you certain? You're aware of the risk they pose."

"Yeah but I think I can handle it. I just need a bit of practice."

"Very well, then. Treat them well," the goddess said as she handed the closed box to IF.

"Thanks." IF walked to the door but stopped before she opened it. "Hey, uh, Vert?"

"Yes, Iffy?"

The brunette turned to look at the blonde with a weak smile. "My party's the best you'll ever meet." She then opened the door and walked out.

Vert sighed and fell on her bed. "It's great to hear she loves her party so."

"Then explain to me why—" Jacob immediately covered his mouth to stop himself from speaking at normal volume any further.

Vert turned to the window again but this time with narrowed eyes. "Okay, I am certain I heard something." She walked over to the window and opened it fully to look out and catch the eavesdropper. She looked to the left and the right and below but she didn't find anyone. The only evidence of someone's presence that she found were flattened grass below the window and a short track of frantic hand prints that mysteriously vanished three windows down where her room didn't extend to. The goddess' eyes narrowed further. "I'll have to have a word with Yvoire about the guard detail around here..."

From the roof, Jacob waited until he heard the shutting of the window before exhaling and collapsing. "I _really_ have to learn to shut up..." he groaned.

* * *

><p>The other four party members were having no anxieties. The TV and console were finally set up and Nisa and Compa were playing a two player fighting game while Neptune and Gust cheered for the nurse and the heroine respectively. The dogs were barking endlessly and none of the girls could tell which ones were cheering for who.<p>

"C'mon Compa, you can totally squash that chump!" Neptune shouted.

"Dragon no match for human spirit! Crush it!" Gust commanded.

"How are you so good...?" Compa asked while short of breath and mashing the buttons on her controller.

"It is just like our alchemist said, Compa; brawn is no match for human spirit!" Nisa exclaimed.

Finally, the dying wail of a dragon filled the room. Compa slumped over in exhaustion and Neptune quickly rushed up to her to check her over like Compa had done to her many times before. At the same time, Nisa quickly stood up and punched into the air and Gust simply sat in her spot, looking content. Some of the dogs whimpered while others howled triumphantly.

"Okay Nep-Nep, it's your turn..." Compa panted.

"Alrighty then!" Neptune quickly picked up Compa's controller. "Prepare yourself sister, for this will be your final battle."

"We shall see, my dear sister. Now pick your character and fight me!" Nisa shouted.

Compa lied down on her bed. "I never knew video games could be so exhausting..."

One of the dogs tapped Compa's hand which was hanging over the bed. Smiling gently, the nurse picked it up and placed it on the bed.

"Obviously not true gamer," Gust quipped.

"Hey, what do you think Sparky and Iffy are up to?" Neptune asked the others as ArfArf walked to her side.

"Knowing my zealous student," Nisa began, "he is silently watching her every move, just waiting for her to slip up. When that time comes, when he seizes the opportunity, he will cry 'You shall not succeed in your infernal task, demon!' and proceed to beat her like an evil pair of eggs before dragging her back here."

Compa blinked twice. "That's... an interesting story but what does Jake being jealous have to do with it?"

"_Zealous_," Gust corrected.

"Oh."

"I'm starving," Neptune brought up. "They better bring some pudding back."

"Just be patient, Nep-Nep. We'll get some food soon."

* * *

><p>IF stood in the main street of Leanbox. With no one around, she had plenty of space to look at the poison in the vial, watching the bubbles grow before popping without a sound. Her grip on the glass was weak yet all of her hand's fingers were wrapped around it.<p>

"This... will kill Neptune..." IF whispered. "How, exactly? It's purple and bubbly... even she's not stupid enough to miss it."

After a moment, her arm fell limp to her side. IF tightened her hold on the vial to keep it from slipping. With the poison out of sight, she looked at the ground. "What am I doing?"

"Hello, IF."

IF span around so quickly she could've sworn that more speed would've drilled her into the setts below her feet. Jacob walked towards her with his hands in his hoodie pockets and his face seemingly neutral.

"Did you get the stuff?" he asked with a low voice.

"O-Oh, uh... no, sorry. I'm going to do that right now."

"I see." Jacob closed his eyes. A moment passed before he opened them again. "IF, are you going to kill Neptune?"

The glass vial nearly popped from IF's hand with how quickly her grip on it intensified. Her eyes shot open with equal speed, looking at Jacob with such horror and shock that he flinched slightly from the suddenness of it all. "H-How? H-How do you know?"

"I overheard you talking with Yvoire. I know what he asked you to do."

IF held the glass with both hands. She took another step back.

"I also followed you to the Basilicom to hear it straight from Vert's mouth. Unfortunately, she never told you herself that she wanted you to kill Neptune. Not that you ever asked."

IF hung her low and turned to the side so that Jacob couldn't see her eyes. She cradled the glass in her chest.

Jacob gulped quietly. "IF, you don't have to do this. I don't know why you want to kill Neptune but-"

"I don't..."

Jacob's eyes narrowed in confusion. "I beg your pardon?"

"I don't want to kill Neptune..."

"Then... why are you doing this?"

IF didn't answer.

"... Is being a Leanbox citizen really important to you?"

The Moderatist quickly snapped her head to glare at him with intense anger but it immediately softened into regret.

Jacob sighed. "IF, we don't need to do this. We can work this out without hurting Neptune." Gently and slowly, Jacob raised his arm towards IF, his palms facing upwards. "Can you give me the poison, please?"

Ever slowly, IF began to extend the vial to Jacob. Jacob reached out further, his hand spread open, to take the vial when their hands met.

Then, at the very last moment, IF snapped her hand back. "No."

Jacob blinked. "What do you mean no?"

"I... can't..." IF sniffed.

"IF, please listen to me. Neptune doesn't have to die."

The vial was one again resting next to IF in her hand. She didn't say a word.

Once more, Jacob reached out to IF. "You can't kill your friend. Please."

IF's hands tightened. "I'm sorry..." After that whisper, the vial disappeared into hammerspace.

Jacob's hands curled into fists at his side as he grimaced. "IF..."

The brunette turned away from Jacob and began walking down the street.

"... Please forgive me," she heard Jacob say from behind her.

She turned around to ask why he'd say such a thing but she was interrupted by the six foot male charging at her five foot body with his shoulder. She moved to the side but he managed to strike her shoulder, knocking her off-balance. Jacob grasped her right forearm and reach for her disc on her left. She twisted out of his grip and attempted to heel kick him in the side but he stepped to the side before delivering a front kick to her torso which she jumped back from.

Jacob flared his nostrils once and raised his fists. "I can't let you kill Neptune."

The brunette girl took two steps back. Even without her katara, she got into her usual fighting stance. She had no words, only her narrowed eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>And so the plot is progressing. Nice.<strong>

**The whole thing about IF very nearly considering poisoning Neptune in the game was, in my opinion, a very big missed opportunity. Out of the main cast, IF had the greatest potential for character development and it went to waste. Why, exactly, would IF of all people very nearly consider poisoning Neptune rather than shoot down Yvoire on the spot? Very depressing, really.**

**I'm done with university for about four weeks so stay tuned for Chapter 28: Identity Fractured.**


	28. Identity Fractured

**Here it is, folks! The chapter you've all been waiting for...**

**... right after these messages!**

**Saturn56: Why, yes it is. And what a good question! We must investigate this.**

**Eisenfaust: Thank you very much, I am very happy you liked it, I tried my hardest, spot on and that was the most expectable thing to come.**

**SS7x3: Heh, thanks. Yeah, I liked the Leanbox arc best but it's still only the shiniest of the three turds. As for your feeling, well, that's called Genre Savvy. **

**mastermind: Yeah, links that go beyond or fictionpress don't work on here. Sucks, I know. However, I did manage to figure out that the TMD was from Singularity and worked my way from there. I don't think I'll use it; it's too overpowered. Anyway, thank you and make sure to hold your bets unless you know me really well.**

**some guy: I don't know why you're bringing it up here but keep this in mind: it's not (completely) about what you do but rather how you do it. This fanfic, for instance, is just a retread of the first game but with myself (male, by the way) inserted into its all-female main cast. Sounds like a recipe for disaster but look where it is now.**

**Guest: Sounds like you're just doing Bioshock: Infinite again but with different characters and locales. Not a good idea; you need to mix it up. Yes, Bioshock: Infinite was just a retread of the original but it played with the original's ideas in new ways.**

**Okay, new rule: my review section is not a forum for discussing fanfic ideas. We do actually have a forum on this site right above the dropboxes for fanfic searching. Please take your ideas there. If there is no forum for such a thing, please make one.**

**Sorry for the interruption but we all know that hanging you by the edge of your seats is one of my favourite past times. Heh heh heh heh heh...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 28: Identity Fractured<strong>

It was mid-afternoon. The rays given off from the moderate sun lazily fell onto the grey rectangular quarried stones of Leanbox's main street. The subsequent light and warmth were felt by the two people that stood face to face, their hands raised in their own unique ways in preparation for combat. There was no noise to be heard from anywhere around the two adventurers; it was as if the two of them were in their own space to settle their differences in.

Jacob held his fists defensively in front of him and his left foot forward. He kept his gaze focused on IF, who pointed her leading left foot to her right and stretched her left arm out in front of her with her flat hand's palm facing the road. Her right arm was bent at her side, keeping her forearm and open hand across her torso. She was every bit as still as Jacob was. He waited for the optimal opportunity for assault, one where he could surprise her and deal as much damage as necessary without suffering any himself.

Surprisingly, IF attacked first. She dashed towards Jacob and stopped right in front of him before swinging her left forearm to his right side. He flipped up his right arm to block but winced as it was impacted heavily by steel. IF then side kicked him in his stomach with her heel, causing him to bend forward before she followed through by flipping backwards on the spot and kicking Jacob's chin with both feet kept together like glue. Jacob's back crashed into the ground while IF landed on both feet without flaw.

"Ugh..." Jacob groaned.

The Moderatist didn't pay him any mind and turned around to walk elsewhere. Her head didn't even twitch towards Jacob as her feet took her away from him and down the street, even after he had stopped groaning. She kept her eyes forward, content with the thought of having knocked Jacob out.

"You don't seriously think you've won yet, do you?"

Quickly, IF turned to see Jacob standing up once again. His right hand went over the disc at his side and he summoned a green bottle of Reflex as he kept his eyes locked into IF's shocked pair. "Thanks for not using the blades of your new weapons." He consumed the contents of the bottle, tilting his head up to get all of it down his throat. "Ah..." he sounded in pleasure as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve after he was done. The green bottle was then sent back into the disc. "Did you really think I'd go down that easily, though?"

The narrowed gaze of IF focused on him intently. "I was not expecting you to still be conscious, really."

"Neither was I," Jacob admitted while circling his right arm. "All that training is really paying off."

IF face softened. "You're... much stronger than I gave you credit for."

Jacob let out a small breath through his nose. "Thank you."

He then dashed forward, his feet hammering along the ground like a stampede. He brought his arm back as he neared IF and, when she was within range, whipped it around as hard as he could. Not surprisingly, IF dodged under the clumsy and brutish haymaker with a roll. Right after Jacob regained his footing, he performed a back kick which hit IF's chin. Jacob turned around and got into his stance once more before IF recovered and fired a roundhouse kick at Jacob but he batted it away with his left arm, giving him a chance to snap it back to her currently lurching forehead. Jacob grabbed IF's shoulders and thrust his knee forward but IF twisted out of his grasp.

Jacob walked towards IF, delivering a cross or a hook with every step taken. IF stepped back in turn and blocked every single punch he threw even as their speed and force increased quickly. The male fired a cross that IF guided far with her right hand, leaving his right side vulnerable to her own left hook that elicited a grunt from him. IF whipped her forearm around to strike his head but, with a grunt, Jacob pressed forward and wrapped his arms around IF. He threw her to the left, keeping her off-balance long enough for him to grab IF's shoulders and successfully knee her in the stomach.

"Argh!" grunted IF as her arms wrapped around where his knee hit her. "Damn... it..."

While IF took her time to get her bearings, Jacob looked at his right hand. He looked at its open palm with soft eyes, flexing the fingers gently and subtly. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath before he clenched his hand into a tight fist. With a growl, he thrust it forward with tremendous force into IF's face. It pushed into her cheek until Jacob felt the lower part of IF's skull against the joints of his fingers. As it pushed on, his punch forced her face to turn until his arm could extend no more, by when IF's face was pushed away from Jacob's knuckles and her body flew back with it. Her body hit the ground and rolled over once.

With a grunt, IF pushed herself off the ground and onto all fours. Panting, she wiped one hand against her mouth and looked at it to see the fresh blood that painted its length. She turned her head to look at Jacob with gritted teeth before she stood up shakily. Once she had regained her balance, she slid off her oversized blue jacket and slid it into her disc.

"Okay..." she breathed as she cracked her knuckles, showing off her vambraces that reflected the sunlight with their steel frames, "... fun time's over..."

Jacob gulped.

Faster than the shriek of a bat, IF flashed in front of Jacob and smashed his side with her spinning forearm. As Jacob let out a howl of pain, the brunette whirled around and kicked Jacob in the gut, forcing him to bend over. IF lifted her leg high into the air and brought it down towards Jacob like an axe but he forced himself out of the way with a spin. During the spin, he extended his arm with the intent to strike IF with the back of his fist but she backstepped away. IF closed the distance again and attempted a low kick but Jacob countered with a low kick of his own. IF proceeded to step in and strike his chest with her elbow and knocked him back. She stepped in again but Jacob intercepted her with an elbow strike of his own that IF sidestepped before dropping down to sweep him out from under his feet, sending him crashing to the ground face first.

"Take this!" she shouted as she jumped to stomp on his jetpack-wearing back with both feet. However, the transport powered up and took Jacob away into the distance, leaving IF to pound the road. She grunted as the force she exerted was exerted against her ankles in turn. IF held herself back from cursing under her breath as Jacob returned. She rolled out of the way right before he rocketed through where her chest used to be feet first and she stood up hastily to look for him. She found him turning around to come right back at her. With a smirk, she lifted her leg high for when he'd fly at her and brought it down when she was certain he'd fly right into her axe kick. She was surprised when she missed as he landed to the side of her and struck her in the face with a hook to daze her before he kicked her to the side.

In time, she stopped seeing stars and looked around only to find Jacob floating in the air with his arms crossed. "Come on, now," he chided with a smirk. "I thought you were faster than that."

IF narrowed her eyes at him.

* * *

><p>Away from all the fighting, Gust, Compa, Nisa and Neptune remained in the inn room. Compa was reading to one of the dogs while Gust listened in and Neptune and Nisa were on the console.<p>

"No no no no _no!_" shouted Neptune as she dropped the controller and held her head. "How do you keep crushing me time and time again?!"

Nisa chuckled. "My dearest sister, you will never find anyone quite as devoted to improving their skills in fighting games as me. It also helps that you're rather inexperienced."

"Well just you wait! I will get better and then I will crush you like an ant!"

"Didn't you say the same thing about dual wielding, Nep-Nep?" inquired Compa.

"Compa!" Neptune exclaimed with exaggerated indignation. "No need to say such blasphemous things!"

ArfArf, standing at Neptune's side, growled at the nurse. This invited the dog that Compa was reading to to growl back.

"Y-You don't need to be so mean to each other!" Compa cried out as she restrained her dog. "I didn't mean anything offensive by it..."

"S'okay, Compa," said Neptune as she placed her hand on the side of ArfArf's head and gently nudged the dog to look at her. "See, she's sorry."

ArfArf let out a spritely 'woof' and began panting.

Neptune giggled and held the toy to her chest. "Aw, you're so cute. So are the lot of you but you're the cutest."

The other fifteen dogs in the room let out a small whine. Compa petted the dog on her lap.

Just then, someone outside knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Gust.

"Room service!" replied a middle-aged female voice. "I'm here with your meals!"

Compa blinked. "But we didn't order any..."

"Compa, it's free food!" argued the CPU. "Bring it in!"

A silhouette that looked like the inn's guide opened the door and strode into the room. With physics-defying grace and balance, four dishes rested on her arm, each topped with a unique meal and fitting utensils. "Here you all are. I hope you enjoy them," she said as she handed the plates out to the girls. Compa's was a bowl of chicken ramen with wooden chopsticks, Nisa's plate had a large steak sandwich divided into two triangles and Gust received a modest slice of carrot cake with vanilla icing.

Neptune received the grandest dish of all. Handed to her was a massive plate carrying a stack of extremely wide pancakes. Maple syrup had been poured in a cross over the top pancake and dribbled over the sides. The stack was topped by a scoop of vanilla ice cream surrounded by a bundle of strawberry slices and blueberries. Surrounding the bottom of the stack was a ring of flower-shaped candies, some with blue petals and some with red but all of them had yellow centres.

"This is _amazing!_" Neptune cried out in glee as she held her plate.

"Thank you very much!" said Compa as she stood up to lightly bow to the silhouette.

The maid giggled. "It's no problem. I hope you all enjoy your meals!" she said before she left the room and shut the door behind her.

Compa picked up some noodles with her chopsticks and lifted them to her mouth. She then dropped her chopsticks out of surprise as he looked at Neptune. "... Nep-Nep, did you just eat an entire pancake in one bite?"

"Mhm!" affirmed the cheerful goddess with filled cheeks. Maple syrup had coated the area around her mouth which maintained its smile even as Neptune chewed her food.

"... All in one bite? Even toppings?" Gust asked, completely bewildered.

Compa sighed. "That's Nep-Nep for you."

Nisa bit off half of one sandwich. "That'th my thithder for you."

"Thith ith nothig!" Neptune boasted before swallowing. "I could... I... could..." As Neptune attempted to finish her sentence, her eyes became unfocused and her balancing diminished to her rocking from side to side. Seconds passed before Neptune collapsed on the floor, dropping her plate and the rest of the pancakes on the floor.

"Nep-Nep?" Compa quickly put down her bowl and rushed to Neptune's side with Nisa and Gust. "Nep-Nep, what's wrong?"

Gust grabbed Neptune's face and titled it up to inspect it. Already, the CPU's skin was growing paler. "This is... poison..." the alchemist noted with hesitant disbelief.

"Wh-What? Poisoned?!" Compa shouted.

"Did IF already plan this out?!" Nisa asked with a clenched fist.

"G-Gust doesn't know... Get dogs into discs, we leave."

"Okay!" Already, the dogs had gathered around Compa and she put them in the disc one by one. "Okay everyone, it's going to be okay."

"I swear, IF will regret this day..." Nisa growled.

From the heroine's feet, ArfArf whimpered at Neptune.

Compa bent down and petted the dog. "It'll be okay, ArfArf..."

Just as Compa reached to put ArfArf away, the door was slammed open with a cry of "Don't move!" The party's heads snapped to the door as six silhouettes, five wearing ranger caps and carrying sabres with spherical pommels at their sides and Yvoire, rushed into the room. One soldier quickly seized Compa, another seized Gust and two grabbed Nisa's arms. "You are all under arrest for treason!" Yvoire shouted.

"Arf arf arf arf arf!" ArfArf repeatedly barked at the silhouettes.

"What? B-But we haven't done anything!" Compa cried out.

"You..." Nisa snarled, struggling against those restraining her, "You _bastard!_ I won't let you get away with this!"

"Arf arf arf arf arf!"

"Don't move!" shouted the soldier holding Nisa's right arm before kicking out her leg from underneath her, bringing her to kneel.

"Get away with what?" Yvoire replied. "You are the heretics who threaten our landmass!"

"You ordered IF to poison Neptune!" Nisa shouted.

A sudden stillness overtook Yvoire but any shock on his face couldn't be seen by the party. "... What are you babbling about?" he asked calmly. "If she did such a thing, it was of her own free will. Our Basilicom would never even dare make such a request."

Nisa didn't speak; she was at a loss for words.

"We did nothing! Let go!" yelled Gust.

"_Arf arf arf arf arf!_" barked ArfArf in protest, right at Yvoire's feet.

"Will somebody shut that dog up?" groaned one of the soldiers.

The Archbishop mightily kicked ArfArf into a wall, resulting in an audible crack that could be heard by everyone in the room.

"ArfArf!" Compa called out with tears in her eyes.

"Take them all away," Yvoire ordered, ignoring her. "Don't forget the purple-haired one, either."

"Yes sir," answered one of the soldiers before he picked up Neptune.

"Let go of Nep-Nep!" Compa wailed.

"Do not touch her!" demanded Nisa.

"You are all so loud..." the Archbishop complained. "Once you're all in the dungeon, this landmass may be able to sleep at night."

"Ahh!" Compa screamed as she was dragged towards the door.

"I said _LET GO!_" Nisa roared right before she ripped her right arm out of the soldier's grasp and elbowed him in the stomach. She then quickly stood up and rammed the other soldier holding her into the wall.

"Hey!" The soldiers dropped whoever they were holding and rushed to Nisa. The first one went to draw his sabre but Nisa jabbed him in the stomach before knocking him back into the air with an uppercut. The second soldier attacked Nisa with a horizontal slash but Nisa ducked to the floor and tripped him with a sweeping kick. The soldier she elbowed recovered and was about to break into a run towards the heroine before Compa smashed him in the side from behind with her syringe.

"Nisa, grab Neptune and run!" Compa commanded. "Take the window!"

"You're not getting away!" shouted Yvoire as he pulled a trident seemingly from out of nowhere and pulled back his arm, ready to stab before a shot of magic struck him in the side and knocked him into the wall.

"We hold them off! Go!" shouted Gust.

Nisa nodded. "Right! Follow after me!" While Gust and Compa fought off the soldiers and Yvoire, Nisa returned the damaged ArfArf into the disc and opened the window. Using all of her strength, she lifted up Neptune onto her back and jumped out the window. She grunted as the bones in her feet shook upon landing on the grass before she rested Neptune, getting more and more pale by the minute, against the wall. "I'll be back soon, sister... Gust and Compa need—"

Nisa almost fell forward as a loud '_**BOOM**_' sounded through the area from her room. She regained her balance right as Compa landed behind her, followed shortly after by Gust. "What's going on?"

"No time! Pick up Neptune and run!" Gust commanded as she and Compa were already sprinting away as fast as they were able.

"Hey, wait for me!" Nisa shouted as she picked up her poisoned friend and ran after them.

* * *

><p>After a short while, Nisa, Gust and Compa had stopped for a rest in an alleyway. The three of them rested with their backs against the dark stone walls stained with old graffiti, panting as their lungs normalised after the escape. The stale smells of garbage that clung to the pavement and the walls were disregarded by the drained party. Neptune was propped up next to Nisa, looking just as pale as before.<p>

"I... think... we lost them..." said Compa.

"Ow..." whined Gust. "Feet hurt..."

Compa pulled out a bottle of reflex and gave it to Gust. The alchemist nodded and appreciatively took the bottle before drinking the liquid within.

Compa looked towards Neptune. Not once throughout the escape did she move even a sliver. "Gust... what's wrong with Nep-Nep...?"

Gust crawled over to the CPU and looked at her ghostly skin. "Definitely poison... Don't know what kind... Need reference books..."

The nurse then looked after at Nisa. Her panting was softer than Compa's or Gust's and her head was hung low. Her eyes were directed to the ground but there was nothing there worthy of attention. "Nisa... are you okay...?"

Nisa's eyes narrowed.

"Nisa..." Compa whispered.

"We..." the heroine began, unusually quiet, "We attacked... men of the law... civilians..."

"So? They attacked us..." argued Gust.

"We're not supposed to do this!" cried Nisa. "We're heroes! We go to dungeons, kill monsters and save the day! We—We don't fight police! We work to protect the land from evil!"

"They poison Neptune and arrest us for no reason! They are bad guys!"

"No!" Nisa's hands went to her head, the palms covering her eyes and the fingertips pressing on her skull as if to press something out. "We don't fight police... We're heroes... We're not... not..." The heroine gulped. "... We're not... villains..."

"Stop it," ordered Gust. "We go now."

"Go where?" Nisa took her hands off her head and looked at Gust, her mouth parted to show her teeth clenched together and her eyes strained to focus on the alchemist. "Where can we go? Who'll accept fugitives?"

"We are not down yet!" Gust protested. "We must find cure for Neptune!"

"From where?!" Nisa stood up and towered over the alchemist that didn't even flinch as she met the heroine's gaze. "We can't exactly go into a library, you know! One civilian call is all it takes to bring the guards down on us and into jail!"

"_Stop!_" Compa cried out, shocking the heroine and the alchemist from their antagonism and making them turn to the nurse, who regarded them with tear-filled eyes. "Please... stop it..." She let out a small hiccup. "I lost Nep-Nep... IF's gone, too... Please don't go..."

Gust and Nisa grimaced. Being the cause of Compa's tears filled them with painful regret that hurt them like thumb tacks poking their hearts. They didn't dare to meet the eyes of the other.

"... Find Jacob and IF," said Gust. "Need to regroup."

Nisa nodded. "I'll carry Neptune." The heroine turned around to the unconscious goddess and bent down to pick her up. Before she pushed her arms underneath her, she turned to Compa. "Hey... I'm sorry, I'm just... a bit wound right now."

Compa sniffed and nodded. "It's okay... I'm scared, too."

Nisa didn't answer. She picked up Neptune and followed Compa and Gust out of the alleyway.

* * *

><p>IF rolled out of the way as Jacob flew by with another kick. She had been dodging Jacob's swooping attacks for minutes now and she hadn't managed to land a single hit on him, in no small part thanks to how he kept changing his attacks every time to keep himself from being predicted. She saw Jacob zoom towards her again and sighed before ducking under his flying roundhouse kick. She quickly stood up again and turned around to keep track of Jacob flying through the air. However, she didn't expect Jacob to not take off again and instead run towards her intending to catch her in a lariat. The brunette reflexively ducked under the attack and stepped in to strike Jacob's shoulder blade with a left hook. Jacob twisted around and batted the offending limb away with one fist and punched the front of IF's right shoulder with the other. He then pushed her away with a simple front kick.<p>

Jacob exhaled through his nose and braced himself. IF rushed at him and Jacob proceeded to block her combo of a right hook, left knee and left elbow. She then fired a right jab that Jacob caught with his right hand that was being cushioned by his left hand. "IF, please at least tell me why you're doing this."

"No," IF answered as she pushed with her fist even more.

Jacob pushed back. "Why do you want to poison Neptune?"

"I don't!"

"Then why are we fighting?!"

"_It's not your business!_" IF wrought her fist out of Jacob's grasp and brought up her left leg. Jacob flipped his right arm down to counter her when she kicked but she never did. Catching him in her feint, IF snapped the leg back to her rear just as she extended her right fist towards Jacob's chest but she misjudged her reach and her punch barely dug into him. Jacob stepped in and flip up the back of his right fist onto IF's nose before hitting her stomach with a straight that preceded an explosive jab to the face.

As her head was turned away from Jacob, an almost inhuman snarl rose from her throat. She whipped her head back, showing her irises that were so small that they nearly vanished in the blinding white rage of her eyes that accompanied a cry that shocked Jacob to the bone. Without giving the male any time to acknowledge or counter the impending pain, the brunette fired a series of punches at Jacob's torso before seamlessly striking the same general area with three rapid side kicks. While Jacob was dazed, IF jumped in the air to deliver a reverse roundhouse kick to his head, knocking him away.

Jacob stopped himself from spinning away after a couple of rotations but IF was in his face again and she hit him with another side kick. As he doubled over, IF spun around and smashed the back of her right vambrace on the side of Jacob's head before spinning in the other direction to slam her left piece of armour on the front of Jacob's face, staining the steel frame with the blood she drew from his nose.

IF flipped up her right arm once more to hit Jacob's face once again but he caught the arm with his left hand. IF tried to pull the arm out but Jacob's grip was too strong. The Moderatist's breathing became somewhat ragged and uneven as Jacob's fingers constricted her vambrace and the tips of his fingers pressed with so much force that IF could feel them even through the armour. With a roar, he tossed the arm away and punched her hard in the face, sending her reeling. By the time her vision cleared up, Jacob was right in front of her and furiously punched her again, sending her sprawling against the stone road.

"Alright, fine," he growled. "If you're gonna be that way, I'm just going to beat the stuffing out of you."

IF coughed as she stood up once again but Jacob gave her no time to get into her stance; immediately, his punch came around like the swing of a hammer against her face, making her stumble back and forcing blood to fly out of her mouth and onto the setts. He then proceeded to punch her again but with the opposite fist, causing the same effect but spilling much less blood. Far from done, he repeated his first punch and no blood escaped her mouth as her head snapped back from the blow. Punching with the opposite arm again, IF was sent spinning back, stumbling over her steps with the shaken perception of a drunk.

"_Hyah!_" With a loud cry, Jacob wound up another punch and thrust it forward towards IF's skull with enough force to end the battle here and now. Hearing his shout, IF grit her teeth. Sorting through her battered senses and summoning all of her willpower, she directed her stumbling right, out of the way of Jacob's left fist. He threw himself off-balance, giving IF the perfect window to jump and latch herself onto his back. Stepping around, Jacob shook his back as much as he could as he reached around in order to grab the brunette. After taking in as much air as she could, she lifted herself up and threw her weight in the direction Jacob was facing. She flipped in front of him and landed on the ground then, using the inertia, tried to flip Jacob over. However, she only lifted him up an inch or so off the ground.

"Not good enough!" Jacob forced himself to the ground again and threw IF over his shoulder. The brunette rolled twice before she found footing and sprung upright just in time for Jacob to run over to her, duck under her jab and uppercut her into the air. IF let out a yelp of pain as her back crashed into the pavement, forcing whatever remaining air she had left out of her lungs. Jacob readied himself for IF to get back up but she had no strength for it. At the end of the battle, Jacob was the only one standing.

As the adrenaline simmered down, Jacob began to feel rather light headed and he could feel a sharp pain from his nose and many points on his body, including his right arm where IF's vambrace had first impacted it. He began to see double just as his balance seemed to abandon him in an instant, leaving him nearly tripping over his own feet. He stumbled over to what he faintly distinguished as a lamp post and leaned on it, panting heavily as his sight and hearing tried to settle once more. One of his hands went to his forehead to cradle the headache that he could feel coming on.

After a moment or two, he could walk with confidence again but the sights and sounds of the world around him were still quite hazy. That didn't deter him, though; he never deviated as he staggered towards the exhausted IF, who remained lying on the ground as her chest rose and fell slightly with each breath she took. She looked at him with tired eyes and he saw her wish for him to not approach her. That also failed to deter him.

"Well, IF..." Jacob panted as he kneeled down next to the brunette and took her disc, "... you put up a good fight... but I won..."

IF said nothing, only regarding him with the same fatigued gaze.

"Sorry..." He reached into her disc and took out the vial of poison. He inspected it for a moment before putting it in his own disc. "But... I can't let you... kill Neptune..." he stated before returning her disc to her. With a grunt, he stood up again.

When he was standing straight, Jacob then recoiled back with a gasp as he was double-kicked in the stomach by IF, who then rolled back to stand up on her own. She shook her shoulders to loosen her body and glared at him.

"What... the hell...?" Jacob grunted as he held his stomach.

IF grinned as she breathed in and out with coarse patterns. "I'm not going down that easily..." she puffed. "I just needed a bit of rest..."

"Damn it..." Jacob cursed. With a sudden snarl, he punched his right hand into his left fist as he summoned his remaining energy. "Alright... I'm still raring to go!"

"Bring it!" IF shouted back.

Jacob stomped forward, ready to dash towards his adversary, right before something cut him off in front of his face and made him jump back in shock. "The hell?"

IF followed with her eyes the flying object that was shaped like a disc as it whizzed back by Jacob's head again and headed for the roof of a nearby building. It was snatched out of the air by the person it was flying to; a very familiar small girl with a very unfamiliar harsh gaze directed at Jacob. Her seriousness contrasted a bit oddly with the indifference of the dragon that coiled around her and rested on her shoulder. The frisbee, with a thick red edge and the design of the reflective side of a disc, then disappeared into the girl's hammerspace. "I don't appreciate it when bullies mess with my wifeys!" Red exclaimed as she crossed her arms.

Jacob narrowed his eyes at her. "Who are you...?" he asked.

IF looked from Red to Jacob. "You don't know...?" she muttered too quietly for him to hear.

Grinning, Red made a peace sign with her left hand and thrust it at Jacob. "R-E-D! Righteous Excellent Destroyer or Reaching Eternal Destiny, it'll always be Red who saves the damsels in distress and beats up the baddies!"

"Wait, hold on!" Jacob cried out. "She wanted to poison my best friend! All I wanted was the poison to stop her from—"

"I won't listen to your lies, you evil man!" Red shouted as she threw another frisbee at him, making him dodge by flying into a nearby alleyway.

"God damn it..." Jacob fished out his gauntlets from his disc and slid them onto his arms. He flexed his fingers, feeling the power course through his limbs, and smirked. He flew up high into the air and found Red watching him. He flew down to the red-haired girl. "Look, I'm not attacking her for no reason. She was going to—"

"Shut your pie hole!" Red interrupted right before launching at and to either side of him three yo-yos of all things, each of which as wide as the height of Jacob's combined head and torso, had red edges and yellow and black sides. Jacob flew up instantly out of the way of the three toys spinning along the roof.

"Damn it, listen to— _argh!_" Jacob was cut off by a small marble that was shot into his shoulder from Red's suddenly extended right arm. He drooped from the air as his concentration was shaken.

"Taste the power of pachinko!" Red fired another small metal ball at him by drawing back her right arm and snapping her left arm crossed his arms to generate his three meter barrier that the marble then bounced of but Red fired more marbles without being discouraged. Her movements, which reminded Jacob of how he fired his force orbs, became more exaggerated with each shot until her left arm snapped back so quickly that she spun and landed on her backside from the dizziness.

Feeling safe if confused, Jacob lowered his shield. "... Is that it?" he asked in disbelief.

"No!" shouted Red as she shot up and fired another marble at Jacob that he blocked with his shield that he generated as soon as he asked his question. "Damn it, stop cheating!"

"You are shooting me with marbles! I am allowed to exercise self-defence!" Jacob yelled in defence.

"The only attacks a bad guy is allowed to block are the ones that poison, paralyse, one-hit KO you or do anything similar!"

"I am not a bad guy!"

"You're beating up a defenceless maiden!"

"She wants to kill my best friend!"

"Who is definitely your partner in crime!"

"No she is not! Damn it, stop attacking me!"

"Unable to comply!" Red concluded the argument by spinning another massive yo-yo towards Jacob that he dodged by moving to the right, albeit barely given his exhaustion.

"Cut that out!" Jacob called.

"Never!" Red replied as she threw another yo-yo that he dodged.

Frowning, Jacob held his hands out in front of him and built up energy in his gauntlets.

He paused. He said before 'all I wanted was the poison'. He had it in his disc right now. He had what he came for. Despite this, he was still here, fighting for something he already obtained. There was no other reason for him to be here.

His face softened. The energy he built up in his gauntlets faded away like the anger from his expression. He turned to look at IF. "Come back to the inn when you're ready." He turned around to fly away.

"Wait, no!" IF cried out. "Don't go! Get back here!"

Her plea went ignored. Jacob flew over the buildings faster than IF could ever run even if she was completely fresh. She jogged after him anyway before he was out of sight. After a second of not seeing him, she feel to her knees and hands. She hammered her fist on the gravel, fighting back tears.

"Hey, you okay there, Iffy?" Red called out in concern before she arrived and bent down at her side. "You know, you're pretty hot without your coat."

Panting, IF turned her head to look at her red-haired heroine.

Red flinched as she saw her mangled face. "Holy moly, he really did a number on you." Red reached into her hammerspace and pulled out a green bottle that she handed to Red. "Here."

"O-Oh..." IF took the bottle offered to her and uncorked it. She took another deep breath before exhaling prior to drinking the potion like she was parched. "Thank you..."

Red grinned and placed her hand on IF's shoulder. "It's just what I do for my wifeys! Say, who was that jerk?"

The brunette turned her gaze to the ground again. She had just fought a bloody battle with a party member. He won and took something important to her. To her right stood a complete stranger, absolutely oblivious to the confrontation and the reasons behind it. "He... was no one important."

"Aw, really? What'd you want him back for?"

IF bristled. "It's none of your business." IF felt Red's hand flinched away. After she heard her own voice echo in her head, she felt a small pain in her chest. "N-No, I'm sorry..." the Moderatist apologised. "It's just personal..."

"Hm..." The dragon girl pursed her lips. "Well, I won't pry if it's private. Can you stand?"

Breathing in through her nose, IF pressed herself up from the road. Red helped her as she got on her trembling legs and let go when her balance was restored. "Thanks..." IF muttered.

"It's no biggie. I know you're gonna tell me your secret when I get my charisma high enough so I can wait."

IF turned to look at the girl, grinning proudly as she held the ends of her detached sleeves to each palm with their respective ring and middle fingers. "... What?"

"You're my wifey. I need to build up my charisma with you so we can get married."

"Oh, that..." IF held a hand to her forehead. "Sorry, I'm just a bit tired right now."

"You're lucky that's all you are," Red commented as she inspected IF's body again, paying attention to the various bruises. "Hey, if you're cool with it, you wanna stay with me?"

"Oh, n-" Before she gave her answer, she recalled the brutal battle she had just been in. Her right hand went to rub her left bicep. "... Actually, yeah. I could use a place to stay."

"Yahoo!" cheered Red. "Come on, follow me! It's this way!"

As Red pulled the brunette down the road, IF looked at the sky behind her again. Once more, she saw nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>I wonder if this level of violence means the fic needs to be boosted to M? I hope not. Then again, Arfoire's stabbing went okay in Chapter 6 and I've encountered no problems there. I'll just leave this as it is until I'm told it needs to be changed.<strong>

**Also, I bet none of you saw that coming.**


	29. Subsiding Winds

**Sorry for the wait. My creative energy's running low. Let's get this ball rolling again.**

**Saturn56: Well, if it did, this fanfic would have no point, wouldn't it? :P**

**Guest: Terribly sorry you feel offended by my decision.**

**mastermind: It'd be a one-hit kill, pretty much. And those choices aren't much better (well, except for the leash; that has potential).**

**some guy: That's rather drastic of you but I understand.**

**SS7x3: I'm glad you liked the chapter. I'm also glad you're surprised as it is my duty to surprise everyone who reads a fanfic that retreads the original almost word for word. And those guesses might be correct (except for 4 because Compa and Nisa collected all the dogs). **

**Eisenfaust: Indeed it has. No one expected her to appear, eh? If the fight continued, I'm guessing Red would have won, though: Jacob was heavily exhausted by his fight with IF, who wasn't even completely down and out by the time Jacob thought he was done with her.**

**While I don't particularly like story ideas clogging the review section, I am open to anyone who wishes to send a Private Message to me. All this requires is the making of an account. Have a nice day.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 29: Subsiding Winds<strong>

After a few seconds of flying, Jacob touched down on the ground once again even though his aching body protested against exerting pressure against anything. While he was rather disappointed that Red showed up, he got the poison back and he suffered no injuries that wouldn't heal from a combination of a good night's rest and a large, healthy application of reflex. All he needed to do now was head back to the others at the inn, sleep off his injuries and work his way to finding IF from there. The battle and the subsequent split from IF had soured him a bit but he concentrated on the good side of it all and was in moderate spirits.

Unfortunately, his spirits were troubled when he saw walking across the path ahead of him Compa, Gust and Nisa, the latter of which carrying a rather sickly-looking Neptune on her back. The three walking girls weren't looking so happy, either; Compa and Gust looked rather fidgety even as they moved with a depressing slowness while Nisa slumped forward as if her spirit had been crushed.

"Hey, what's going on?" Jacob asked as he walked towards them to the best of his ability.

The girls turned to the right and their eyes widened in surprise. "Jake? What happened to you?" Compa asked.

"You're a mess..." Nisa noted.

"I followed IF for the day, we got into a fight, she got away, what the hell happened to Neptune?" Jacob asked.

Frowning, Nisa kneeled and took the CPU off her back to lay her against the ground. "Neptune ate poisoned food from room service. Before we even had time to comprehend the situation, the Archbishop and his soldiers stormed into the room and attempted to arrest us all on charges of treason. We..." A sigh of fatigue and hurt escaped the heroine. "We had to fight back. This is where we are now." Nisa growled and punched the road. "I swear, when I find IF, she will regret ever crossing us..."

"Hold on, IF couldn't have poisoned Neptune," Jacob responded quickly before fishing out the glass vial from his disc, holding it up for all to see. "I've got the poison right here."

"What?" Gust shouted, suddenly alert. "Give poison to Gust! Now!"

"Uh... sure." Jacob extended the vial to Gust before she snatched it out of his hand and immediately began studying the contents. She tilted the glass from side to side, observing how the concoction moved with each shift in position. She took the cork off the top and moved the vial underneath her nose before taking a few sniffs. Making a slight 'hm' noise, she dropped a bit of it on the ground and watched it intently. Surprisingly for a slowly-bubbling purple liquid slightly thicker than water, it lost all of its colour as it seeped into the ground without leaving so much as a stain behind.

"Odourless, most likely tasteless, indistinguishable..." Gust muttered. "Possibly same poison."

"What does that mean?" asked Compa.

The alchemist put the cork back in the vial. "If Gust can discover what poison it is, Gust can find cure."

"You mean we can heal Nep-Nep?!" Compa shouted.

"Not so loud...!" Jacob groaned, holding his head like he was trying to prevent it from bursting. "I'm on the verge of a massive headache..."

"Oh, sorry..."

"Anyway, is possible," Gust spoke up. "All Gust need is reference book."

"Where do we find one?"

Gust hesitated. Her gaze fell to the ground. "... Library best choice."

"Not exactly easy for _criminals,_" Nisa spat the word like it was a piece of a sour fruit, "to get inside."

Jacob's eyes turned upwards as he thought. "Could I help?"

"Huh?" Gust lifted her head.

"Well, I'm assuming they're not looking for IF or I given that it was only you four that escaped the motel room. I might be able to walk in there without a hitch."

Compa looked at Jacob with worry. "Jake, they know we're all part of the same party. It's too risky."

"Not to mention injuries look shady," Gust added.

"I figured as soon as I said it..." Jacob sighed. "Well, this sucks. None of us are good enough at thieving to steal the book. Now what do we do?"

Compa started tapping her index fingers together. "Maybe... we should find IF."

"Oh lords above..." Jacob groaned as he rubbed the back of his head. "That's not gonna be easy. We got into... a _hell_ of a fight. 'Scuse me, forgot to do this..." Jacob took out some more reflex that he consumed quickly. "Sorry. Anyway, I confronted her about the whole poisoning thing — she was undecided, by the way — and she didn't want to give me the poison even though she said she doesn't want to kill Neptune. Yes, I'm just as confused as you are. Anyway, I beat the crap out of her and took the poison but she was rescued by some girl named Red who then decided to try and beat the crap out of me. I fled and now I'm here."

"Some girl named Red?" Gust repeated.

"Yeah. I didn't even know someone like that existed. Do any of you know her?"

Compa and Nisa shared a surprised glance before looking back at Jacob. "You really don't know?" Compa asked. "I thought you knew everything?"

"Well, not everything. I didn't even know what you were all like, just what you looked like. I have never seen anyone like Red before."

"It seems that she is not a silhouette," Nisa surmised. "In that case, she will be very easy to find, especially since she's also travelling with IF."

"I'd fly but I don't want to be caught," noted Jacob.

"That's right, we're wanted..." Compa added, making Nisa bristle. "We can't move around as freely."

Jacob groaned. "We're going to have to try. We need a cure for Neptune's poison and we're not going to do that by standing around. Now let's go. Gust, where's the library?"

"Follow." After Nisa picked up Neptune again, Gust turned around and walked down the path with the rest of the party following after her.

Compa, still rather shaken and nervous, stole a few glances at Jacob. "Jake, what did you learn about IF today?"

Gust and Nisa turned their heads towards Jacob.

"Alright then," said Jacob. "IF actually went to the Basilicom. I followed her there..."

* * *

><p>In a manner not unlike a gentleman, Red opened the white wooden door for IF. "After you, Wifey Number One."<p>

"Thanks..." mumbled IF before she stepped inside. The brunette smiled when she saw that the room, with its two plain-looking beds and deep pink walls, looked exactly the same as the one from the previous inn she stayed at. She then grimaced when she remembered her party and the poison that Jacob took from her.

"Aw, you're still so sad," said Red as she wrapped her arms around IF from behind her, making the brunette gasp. "Wanna tell me about it? Talking about your problems makes them better."

"Thanks but I'll be fine," assured IF with a forced smile before she removed herself from Red's embrace. She walked over to the bed closest to the door and sat down on it with a sigh. "I just need a bit of rest..."

"Alrighty. I can wait." With a smile, the cheerful girl was at IF's side, reflex in hand. "Have some more. You need to sleep off those injuries."

IF took the bottle and drank all of the potion within. When she was done, she sighed and looked at the roof. "Thanks a bunch, Red... I really do need this."

"Aw, it's nothing, Iffy!" Red said with a blush before walking over to the other bed and flopping onto it. "Take all the time you need, okay? You've been through a lot."

IF chuckled. Between the soft mattress that her back pressed against and the genuine and caring soul that was Red, it was impossible for her not to.

"Doo d-do do doo..." Red sung for a moment before turning to IF again. "So whatcha gonna do now?"

IF exhaled. "I haven't got a clue... My party probably hates me right now."

"What? You're in a party?" Red asked, surprised.

"I... _was_ in a party," IF corrected. "... I screwed that up. Badly."

"How?"

Quickly, IF looked away from the roof and to the wall. "Over something incredibly stupid. Damn it..." With a sudden growl, she slammed her fists onto her mattress. "_Damn it!_"

"Whoa there, wifey!" Red shot out of the bed. "What's the dealio?"

"I've been so stupid!" the brunette yelled. "I nearly poisoned my friend and beat up my other friend and probably caused the rest of my friends huge amounts of grief for... just... ugh, what the hell is _wrong_ with me?!"

"Holy whoa-ly, Iffy! You're going a million miles a micro-minute here!" exclaimed Red. "You gotta take it nice and slow. Breathe in... breathe out—"

"Red," interrupted the Moderatist through gritted teeth, turning back to face her, "I appreciate everything you've done for me, truly, but I do need to vent this out..."

Red's lips tightened at the corners of her mouth. "Well, do you wanna tell me what this stupid thing was? I promise I won't judge you for it."

Finally, IF seemed to calm down. "I'm sorry... that's a secret."

The red-haired girl sighed. "Well, alrighty then."

IF turned her gaze to the roof once more. "Sorry for the trouble."

"Nah, it's okay. It's not often you get girls without some deep issues anyway so I should've been expecting this."

IF turned her head to look at Red. Without saying a word, she just stared at the girl.

Red didn't move. It was as if some ghostly presence was sitting on her shoulders, holding her down. "... Iffy, you're kinda freaking me out there. What's wrong?"

"That dragon... is it real?"

All at once, the ghostly feeling vanished. Red looked to her dragon on her right shoulder. "Oh, this one? Yeah, he's real."

"I haven't seen him move... He's not doing anything."

"Ah, he's lazy like that." Red petted the creature's head with her left hand. It raised its head and smiled, emitting a small satisfied 'grr' that felt like a purr. "Go on, say hi to Iffy."

The dragon let out a small direction-less grunt before slumping on Red's shoulder again.

Red rubbed the back of her head, smiling as she usually did. "Don't worry about him. He doesn't really care about anything."

IF sighed. "This place is full of weirdoes..."

* * *

><p>"... and that was how I spent around about an hour on the most pointless espionage mission ever," Jacob finished explaining to the party as they continued walking.<p>

"So that's where all the grass stains came from," said Compa, looking at Jacob's shorts and hoodie.

Gust rubbed the back of her head. "Vert is..." Seconds passed, the silence interrupted only by a slight 'um' s as she tried to find the appropriate thing to say, "... interesting CPU."

Nisa's head remained lowered. If possible, she seemed to be in even lower spirits than before.

Jacob noticed this with concern. "Sensei, what's wrong?"

"What is her motive...?" she murmured. "You said she wanted to be a Leanbox citizen yet she took a poison she never intended to use. What is she thinking?"

"I don't know," Jacob answered solemnly, "but I intend to find out."

Compa walked to Nisa's side. Gently, she poked the cheek of the CPU being carried by the heroine. "It's very weird..."

"What is?" asked Jacob.

"Nep-Nep hasn't gotten any worse. When she fainted, she turned pale very quickly. It's been a while since then and she hasn't changed much at all."

Hearing the explanation, the party stopped walking. Jacob and Gust turned around to look at Compa. "So she's stabilised?" asked the male.

"M-Maybe..." Compa wrung her hands as she looked at the ground.

"Well, she isn't getting better," Nisa snapped, "so we need to find the antidote quickly."

"Calm down," urged Jacob. When Nisa stopped exuding anger like a snarling wolf, he sighed and looked at Gust. "Now, I'm no expert with poison. Do you have any ideas on what we can do now?"

"I beg your pardon but did you say your friend is poisoned?" interrupted the voice of a young man.

Jacob and the girls quickly turned towards the man, surprised by the sudden inquiry. He turned out to be yet another silhouette and he, much like his voice, was somewhat feminine in appearance, with shoulder-length hair consisting of a curl in front of his forehead and one at the back of his neck and he was rather thin. His shirt had ruffled sleeves and, for whatever reason, he carried a wine glass in his left hand.

Jacob hesitated as he saw the man looking at Neptune. "Well, um... yes."

"Forgive me but I could not help overhearing your conversation. If I may ask, why not take her to a hospital? I do not mean to be rude but she really could use the treatment." The silhouette's head turned to Jacob. "And so could you, in all honesty."

"Well... um... uh..." Jacob averted his gaze and his face turned red.

"Jacob too proud to admit it but we low on funds," Gust interjected. "Procedure unaffordable."

"Oh, is that it? I am sorry to hear of your predicament." The NPC turned back to Neptune. "Dear lord, this looks severe... How did this happen?"

Nisa lowered her darkened gaze to the ground, her quivering hand clenched into a fist. "The Basilicom..." she whispered.

Every head present snapped towards the heroine, the silhouette's faster than the rest. "What did you say? The Basilicom poisoned her? Why?"

"It's a big misunderstanding," Jacob answered.

The silhouette took a heavy step towards Jacob. "Nevertheless, this is a heinous act of them to commit, the dogs. Why would they even think to poison a little girl?"

Compa blinked. "That's strong language to use against the Basilicom..."

The NPC turned his head to Compa. As if her voice pacified him, he took a step back and placed his right hand in his pocket. "Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Jade, one of the Aristocrats."

"I'm sorry, I've never heard of them," Jacob responded.

"Wait a minute, yes you have!" Compa exclaimed. "The Sanctified told us that story where the Archbishop talked with the Aristocrats when the Parliament got too strong!"

A small snort could be heard from Jade. "That is hardly the full story. Unfortunately, now is hardly the time to explain the rest. Your friend is in critical condition and needs a doctor immediately."

"Money still a problem," Gust responded.

"I will admit that such would be the case... but your finances are not the main barrier here, am I correct?"

Gust's eyes narrowed.

Jacob, frowning, took a step forward. "And why, precisely, would you say that?"

"Do not be alarmed," said Jade as he lifted his hand slowly and gently. "If the Basilicom is indeed targeting you, that gives me all the more reason to lend you a hand."

While the hostility and tension disappeared from the atmosphere, the general awkwardness did not. The silence that surrounded the six remained unbroken while no one had any words to properly dispel it.

"Uh... I beg your pardon?" Jacob finally asked.

"One of the teachings of the Aristocrats is to help those in need. Had you not told me about the cause for your friend's poisoning, I still would have offered my assistance. The Basilicom being the ones to poison this girl just provides greater incentive."

The nurse, with her hands feebly held together in front of her body like she was cradling something fragile, looked away. "Can we really trust you...?"

"He offers cure for Neptune. Only reasonable option," Gust advised.

"But we know nothing about him!" Nisa protested.

"He could say the same thing about us," Jacob brought up, hands in his pockets.

Nisa tightened her lips.

"Alright, we'll take you up on your offer," said Jacob as he turned back to the Aristocrat. "We're a bit desperate."

"I am glad to hear it," Jade answered. "Please, follow me."

* * *

><p>Jade had escorted the party to a mansion on the outskirts of the city. The outside was nothing special, with just white walls and a teal-coloured roof and a shape all too similar to that of the rest of the landmass' medieval buildings. The room that Jade had taken the party to was only slightly more extravagant. Striking red curtains with yellow edges partly covered the glass windows. Golden chandeliers holding lit candles hung from the ceiling over a long red rug on which sat a small round table surrounded by three identical chairs, made of wood and cushioned with red velvet. Surprisingly enough, that was all they had in the room.<p>

"Not entirely what I'd expect from an Aristocrat. No offence," Jacob said.

"We try to watch how we spend our wealth but I confess that we lose ourselves from time to time," Jade answered. "For the record, this is one of our modest rooms. It has a... low atmosphere, would you not say? Perfect for meetings and discussions. Now, I believe our first priority will be getting poor little Neptune some treatment."

"Do you know anyone who can help?" asked Compa.

The door behind the party opened abruptly. The party turned around to see that the new arrival was another silhouette, this one a female wearing a small cylindrical hat with a visor. "There you are, Jade. I was informed you would be up here."

"Fantastic timing, doctor," said Jade. "We have a friend who is in dire need of treatment."

"I see." The Doctor walked over to Nisa and looked closely at Neptune, who was still being carried by the heroine. "My word, it's like her soul has been sucked out of her... At the very least, she seems to be breathing. Do you have a room prepared?"

"Certainly. Right through here."

Jade opened the plain white door, allowing the doctor and the party in first before stepping in, shutting the door behind him. It was a rather plain room with just a single double-bed with a red duvet and the same white walls as the previous room. The doctor turned to Nisa. "Could you lay the patient on the bed, please?"

The heroine nodded and gently laid Neptune on the bed. Her back against the bed, everyone could see her fatigued yet pained face and her hauntingly pale skin. "How did this come to pass?" asked the doctor, almost in disbelief as she leaned in and pressed her fingers to the side of Neptune's neck.

"Poison," answered Jacob.

"Ah, one of those poisonous monster attacks required by the story? Do not worry. There has not been a single one of those that wasn't able to be cured. Unless it happened to an NPC, of course." The doctor chuckled but no one shared her sense of humour at the moment.

"I am afraid the truth is much more than that, doctor," said Jade. "We believe this to be the fault of the Sanctuary."

"What?" The doctor quickly span around. "Why on Gamindustri would the Sanctuary see fit to poison a little girl?"

"I believe the why is rather unimportant as of now. Can she be cured?"

With a sigh, the doctor turned back to Neptune. "I mean no disrespect but the enemy of your enemy is not always your friend. People have their own reasons to fight. But anyway, every poison can be cured. It's all a matter of finding the antidote. Unfortunately, that is always the most tricky part."

"Excuse me," Jacob spoke up before pulling the poison-filled vial from his disc. "There was another... assailant going for Neptune at the time and I took this poison from her. I think it may be the same one."

"A pincer attack?" The doctor asked as she took the vial from Jacob. "Such great lengths... Regardless, thank you for this. If it is indeed the same poison, that will make finding the cure so much easier. Now, I would like some time alone so I can study the symptoms of the patient."

"Very well, doctor," replied Jade before turning to the party. "Come now, we must leave the doctor to do her work."

"N-No, thank you..." Compa walked around to the side of the bed opposite the doctor. "I may just be in training but I am a nurse with slight medical knowledge. Please, doctor..." Compa's shaking hands overlapped Neptune's left hand, cold and white as snow, "... let me help Nep-Nep. She's my best... f-friend..."

One tear rolled down Compa's cheek and was quickly followed by more, falling slowly in tandem with her sobs. Jacob closed his eyes and turned away. Jade sighed. "Compa," began the Aristocrat, "I understand your feelings but you have had a very rough day, much like your comrades. You should rest for the night."

"He is right," said the doctor, standing next to Compa. "Also, and it is just as hard for me to say it as it was to hear it when I was younger but it still needs to be said, the shaking hands of a doctor are not much help at all." Like a mother, the silhouette placed her hand on Compa's shoulder and bent down to her eye level. "A good night of sleep will do you good. Perhaps you can help me in the morning if more progress needs to be made."

Compa closed her eyes, forcing herself to not cry any further. She lifted her arm and wiped away the lingering tears with her sleeve. "I-I understand... Please look after her..."

"Mark my words, she is in good hands." After giving the nurse's shoulder a gentle pat, the doctor's head turned towards the Aristocrat. "If you do not mind, I would like to use your library for the purpose of studying this poison."

"By all means, use whatever means you see fit to heal this girl," answered Jade. "Sir Turquoise is out right now but the servants will be able to assist you with any problems you have."

"Thank you. I will see you all tomorrow."

Jade nodded and opened the door. Jacob, Gust, Nisa and Compa trudged out of the room, remaining quiet. Jade shut the door behind him as he left the room last. "Trust me, she is a very good doctor. Neptune will be perfectly fine."

Nisa crossed her arms. "Why did you help us?"

"Hm?" Jade might have raised an eyebrow. "Why, I explained this already. I simply wished to help you out of altruism."

"... Are you sure that's it?" asked Compa.

"My word, I would be drowning this instant if suspicion was water..." remarked Jade. "The only benefit I get from this is that this incident was caused by the Basilicom. Even so, that is merely icing on the cake that is being able to assist the inconvenienced. I have nothing to hide."

"So much has happened today. People we trusted... t-turned against us. We were almost captured. How can we be sure you won't harm us in the same way?"

"Compa is correct," Gust remarked. "How are you trustworthy?"

The noble NPC sighed. "A fair question. I confess that I have no ability to cause you to trust me. All I can say is that us Aristocrats and the Basilicom — more specifically, the Sanctuary — do not get along, as our honouring of their pride conflicts with their honouring of their beliefs." Jade walked over to the window and looked out onto the landmass. "You might be interested in this. As of current, we are plotting a coup d'état against the Sanctuary."

"What?!" Nisa cried out suddenly, causing Jade to flinch and quickly turn around to face the party.

"N-Now now! Perhaps it was not the best time to unveil such information... I apologise. We have a guest room ready if you'd like to see it. Afterwards, we shall have some dinner."

Jacob shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

Suddenly, Compa stepped forward. "U-Um, Mister Jade? Do you mind if we let our dogs out? We carry them in our discs."

"Dogs?" Jade repeated, caught off guard. "Well, I prefer not to have pets running around inside but, if yours are trained, I will make an exception."

"Oh, it's okay. They're robot dogs." One by one, a dog was released into the room by Compa and Nisa. Each of them immediately ran around the room with no direction, having no regard to the other fourteen dogs amongst them.

"Well, they are an energetic bunch," Jade commented right before one of the dogs sped right in front of his feet.

"Maybe searching for Neptune," said Gust.

Jacob looked at Compa. "There's only fifteen."

The dogs stopped moving. Each of them and Jade turned towards Jacob and Compa, the latter of which seemed to have been surprised into silence as she looked back at the male. "Where's ArfArf?" he asked.

Compa looked away. "He..."

"He's right here..." answered Nisa with all the quietness and hurt when Jacob found her carrying Neptune. With great hesitation, she pulled out a robotic object from her hammerspace.

"Oh my word..." remarked Jade as one of his hands moved up to cover his mouth.

The dogs were immediately frenzied. As one, they dashed to the heroine's legs and barked loudly and desperately, concerned for the broken toy that Nisa carried gently like a glass box.

Jacob couldn't tear his eyes away from the battered ArfArf. "How did that happen?"

"When Yvoire stormed our quarters, he kicked ArfArf into the wall," answered Nisa.

ArfArf still had some life left. Its eyes flickered on and glowed faintly, dimming when they nearly reached their full brightness but shining again before they vanished completely. Straining its damaged mechanical neck, it looked up at Jacob with its transitioning eyes. "Oooh..." it whined quietly before its head sank once more.

Jacob breathed out like a gently deflating balloon and rubbed his right fist's knuckles into the palm of his left hand. "Jade, I don't suppose you know any good engineers?"

The silhouette turned his head from side to side. "I am afraid I do not."

Gust placed her oversized gloved hand on Nisa's arm. "Put ArfArf away. Conserve his energy for when Neptune wakes."

Nisa nodded. "You hear that, boy? Neptune's asleep right now. You should sleep as well so you have your energy when she wakes up. She'll be happy to see you."

It took a second for the dog to lower and raise its head. With a weak smile, Nisa put the dog away in her hammerspace again. The other dogs at her feet hung their heads and whined softly.

The aristocrat walked to Nisa's side. "I am terribly sorry for your circumstances."

"So, um..." Jacob started while circling his hands like bicycle pedals, "what's for dinner?"

* * *

><p>A short while after the evening meal, the party decided to retire for the night. The guest room, with the same white walls as the other rooms the party had been in, contained three single beds with a wooden frame, yellow doona, white sheet and white pillow each. Jade had apologised for what he called his "lacking foresight" but Nisa told him not to worry before taking out her red sleeping bag and saying she'll sleep on the floor. The room had only one wardrobe and a set of drawers and felt rather quaint but the party was too fatigued to care. Despite this, the party had difficulty sleeping.<p>

The darkness of the room made distinguishing the colours within it impossible. Occasional sudden breaths and small sounds kept each member of the party awake yet the exact opposite of alert. Jacob kept his eyes closed in an attempt to catch forty winks but the anxiety surrounding him denied him sleep. The dogs were also in the room (except for three that were outside the door) but they didn't help ease his mind at all.

He heard a low hum from the bed on the opposite side of the room where Compa rested. Five seconds passed and nothing was spoken.

Jacob sighed. "It's too hard to sleep..."

"I know," Compa whispered. "I'm thinking too much. What about you?"

Jacob opened his eyes and looked to his right. "Just a bit nervous is all. Gust, Nisa, what about you?"

Against the wall opposite the door, he heard the grumbling of the alchemist. "Gust was fine before you brought it up..."

"Sorry."

Compa turned onto her left side and looked between Gust and Jacob. "Dinner was good, huh? I'm still so full."

"Yeah, same here," Jacob answered with a smile. "Nice of them to do that for us, eh? I'm surprised you were just okay with carrots though, Gust. I don't think they would've minded making something for you."

"All okay," responded Gust. "Only crunchy nutrition needed for me."

"I'm just thankful it wasn't poisoned..." murmured Nisa from her sleeping bag in the middle of the room.

"Yeah... that's a good thing, too..." Compa replied, more quietly than before.

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Jacob shuffled in his bed slightly. "So, um... what are you all thinking?"

The sound of shifting sheets from the other beds ceased. "... Nep-Nep's going to get better, right...?" asked Compa.

Nisa rolled over onto her side to look at the male. "Jacob... can we really trust the Aristocrats?"

Jacob sighed. "I don't know but we really don't have a choice right now. Neptune's hanging on by a thread and they offered a helping hand. What other options do we have?"

"Jacob, they're conspiring to take down the Basilicom," whispered Nisa harshly. "How can such radicals be trusted?"

"Probably the same way we can assume a governing body might not be as good natured as we thought," snapped Jacob, perhaps a bit too quickly as he thought immediately afterwards.

He heard a small breath escape the heroine as she lied back in her sleeping bag. Whining slightly, one of the dogs walked up to her and nudged her cheek with their nose. With a small smile, Nisa patted the dog.

"God damn it... I'm going out tomorrow," Jacob stated.

"What? What for?" Compa asked, confused.

"To find IF. She didn't poison Neptune so that'll help a bit. Hopefully, things will be a bit softer after I tell her Neptune was poisoned."

"'Hopefully'?" Nisa repeated the word incredulously, as if she and the word were magnets that repelled one another. "You're going to try and play the diplomat with a traitor who was entertaining the thought of poisoning her own friend? _Before_ she beat you bloody like a raw steak?"

"I returned the favour," Jacob responded defensively. "Yes, I know it's a long shot but... this needs to work."

"And if it doesn't?" Nisa propped herself up as her voice increased in volume. "Lady Noire nearly killed you. Blanc treated you no differently. You've tried time and time again to take a peaceful approach but you succumbed to your anger and all of your efforts were wasted. How will this be any different?"

Jacob didn't respond. He turned his head away from Nisa and towards the wall.

"N-Nisa..." Compa stammered in concern.

"It's okay, Compa," Jacob interjected with a tired voice. "She's right..."

As her passion seeped out of her, Nisa mentally caught up with the words she had spoken. Her furious eyes softened as she rested in her sleeping bag again. "J-Jacob... I'm sorry... Do it if you want."

"I intend to." He sighed again. "She's not angry, she's... confused. She wants something but I don't think she knows what yet. Maybe she doesn't know how to get it."

Nisa blinked several times in his direction. "What's that?"

Jacob looked back at her, wearing a small grin. "That's how it'll be any different."

Compa smiled gently. "You're passionate about this."

"IF's a dear friend of mine. I can't afford to get impatient again. I can't let her think we hate her..." A gulp rippled down Jacob's throat. "I-I can't fail again..."

"Do you remember when we took Noire back to the motel?" asked the medic. "Just remember how you felt there. Remember what you said? 'Don't be a tough leader. You're strong enough to be gentle'."

Jacob sniggered slightly. At the same time, a tear crept out from the corner of his eye and descended to the bed beneath him. "I... actually forgot about that advice. Thanks."

"Gust feels left out," complained the alchemist.

"You'll have your emotional moments soon, Gust," assured Compa.

Nisa, unable to contain herself, stretched her arms out and released a long-lasting yawn. The dogs stayed clear of her extended limbs. "I'm feeling a bit drowzy now..."

The contagious yawn found its way to Jacob, who repeated the gesture but with a rolling of his shoulders. "Same here... that talk helped a lot..."

"Good night, Jake..." Compa yawned. "Good night, Nisa... Good night, Gust..."

"Good night..." answered the heroine.

"Night... night..." responded the alchemist before drifting off.

Hearing the content breathing of sleep, the dogs crouched down and silenced themselves.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, not much happened. What did you expect? We're still recovering from Call Me and Identity Fractured. Let's just slow down a bit... and I never thought I'd say that.<strong>

**Anyway, uni's back so the updates are going to be slower. Sorry.**


	30. To Ease My Troubled Mind

**Alright, I've gotten some interesting guest reviews so let's go through the usual routine of getting them out of the way:**

**Saturn56: Saturn, my dear boy (or girl; hard to tell), I am disappointed that you have not realised at this point that anything is possible in this fanfic. Within reason, of course.**

**SS7x3: Yes! I am now worth three weeks of wait! Anyway, I wonder that as well.**

**Eisenfaust: Thank you very much. That was exactly what I was aiming for, given the hustle and bustle of the previous chapters. That's a possibility. That's also a possibility (and you mean "crushes"; "crushed" is past tense).**

**mastermind: That is also a possibility (I love screwing with you people :D). Yeah, I'm gonna do what I think's best, thanks a bunch.**

**woopassmcgee345: Somehow, I don't think shouting is going to resolve the issues of the party. That's not to say we can't try, just that we could wait until we're sure that the other methods won't work.**

**guest: Curious preference, there.**

**Guest: Alright.**

**Neptune Fan: Whoa now, let's not bring other people into this! And thanks.**

**And here's the chapter. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 30: To Ease My Troubled Mind<strong>

IF and Red rested in their beds in the night, protected from the usual chill that was carried by the darkness with the warm blankets provided by their beds. The red-haired girl wrapped her body like tape and slept away, her quiet dozing breaths providing the quieter sounds in the moonlit room. They were infinitely surpassed only by the snoring of her dragon coiled on the floor.

Despite this silence, IF couldn't sleep. She couldn't even find it within herself to close her eyes. Laying in bed, all she did was look up at the ceiling whose colour she couldn't even discern, her exhausted vision blurry. Although she looked at the roof, her focus was on the many thoughts spiralling through her head. Visions and sounds of the past came and went like targets at a firing range and she didn't even have a slingshot at the very least to keep them away.

_"... your faith in Green Heart will remain forever, as will her faith in you."_

_"Are you still concerned about that? Iffy, you're not a subject here. You're a guest. It's not often I have those, you know."_

_"Then why are we fighting?!"_

IF rolled over to face the window and let out a puff of air.

"Iffy?" whispered Red.

IF rolled over to the other side and saw Red, looking at her with the same economy of energy she had throughout the afternoon. It was like her dial was stuck on the Slightly Above Average setting. "Hey, Red... what's up...?"

"Heard you all roly and poly. You having a bad dream?"

"I wish... I can't sleep..."

"Aw, that sucks." Red reached over and pulled up the sheets of her bed, showing her red cotton kosode with a pink sakura pattern and red cotton shorts that kept her warm. "Wanna sleep together? Not in _that_ way, though. Unless you want to."

IF would be very grateful that the dark of the night made her blush virtually invisible but Red's offer shocked her too greatly to think of any thanks whatsoever. "W-W-What?"

Red covered her mouth to hold back her laughter, causing her sheets to drop back on her. "You're so funny, Iffy. But seriously, if it'll help you sleep, we can share a bed. I get to snuggle with my wifey, you don't have bad dreams, we both win."

A smile set onto IF's face. "Thanks but... I'll be fine..."

"Maybe you can go for a walk?" Red offered. "A moonlit stroll's always helped me sleep easier."

"That... doesn't sound like a bad idea." After another moment, IF peeled off her bedsheets and sat up on her bed's edge.

"I'll come with you," Red offered as she lifted her sheets again to move her legs off the side of the bed.

"Actually, I'd like to be alone," IF answered as she slipped on her shoes and stood up. "Everything's a bit confusing right now and I think some time alone would really help clear my head."

"Aw..." Red whined. "Pretty please?"

"Red..." IF groaned.

The red-haired girl pouted before covering herself again. "Alright. Have fun on your walk. Don't talk to strangers."

The brunette rolled her eyes as she made her way to the door.

"Iffy?"

IF turned towards the red-haired girl. "... Yeah?"

Red smiled at her. "Have fun, okay?"

The corners of IF's mouth turned up slightly. "I'll try to."

* * *

><p>IF's trekking had taken her to a very quiet forest. Not a single sound, not even that of a beetle scurrying over a leaf or the chirping of a cricket, could be heard throughout the natural environment. IF unconsciously walked with slow and light steps, as if the woods were sleeping in a thin blanket of night blue and she didn't want to wake them. Besides, the quiet also allowed IF's thoughts to circle in her head without any outside noise to interfere.<p>

Her left hand softly went up to cup her cheek as she recalled Jacob's fist driving into it. She closed her eyes as the memory of Jacob's roars returned to her ears.

She saw Neptune lying on the floor with skin as white as a skeleton, looking directly at her with wide eyes. _"Why, Iffy...?"_ the voice of Neptune asked weakly from inside her mind.

With a sigh, the Moderatist leaned against a tree. "Hold it together, IF..." she said to herself as she observed and analysed the fresh bark, taking note of the lines bending and running up and down the trunk. She pushed herself away from the tree and sat down on an older, fallen log. "Man, it's quiet here. It's driving me nuts..."

As IF was about to lie down against the log, a faint voice reached her ears. A small string of slow 'na na na na's, sung with the voice of a young girl, floated throughout the blue forest. IF perked up and looked around. All of a sudden, the forest felt unfamiliar. The blue of the night felt like the forest's life aura, shining dimly as if waking from slumber.

IF stood up and looked into the dark centre of the woods. "Is that... 5pb?"

The brunette's feet took her deeper into the woods, closer and closer to the song. "What's a popular underground artist like her doing here so early...?" she muttered to herself.

IF reached a clearing in the woods and immediately went behind a tree so that the person she found wouldn't see her. Using one eye to peek around the tree, she had no doubt: standing amidst small white bellflowers and in front of a lake was the singer known as 5pb. Her long, straight hair and bangs shimmered in the moonlight like ribbons of sapphire and a small beauty mark rested under the corner of her left eye. One hand rested on her black and pink headphones with small silver antennae while she kept the other lifted in front of her and, with her eyes closed, sang without any acknowledgement of the land around her.

Even though the night's chill would make even IF shiver without her coat, the idol still sang with confidence wearing what was essentially a silver-lined black bra with frilly straps and a black ruffled skirt with a black and pink belt and a plaid pink bow on the back. On her midriff, between these two pieces of clothing, was a tattoo of a treble clef with a small heart on top of it. She wore a lacy-edged black collar with a pink heart tag, two black and pink bracelets on each wrist and a black band decorated with silver music notes with pink frills on each of her upper arms. On her feet were two black skin-tight platform boots.

IF began to step out from behind the tree. 5pb didn't notice a thing, still singing to an audience that only she could fathom. 5pb's gentle song drew IF to take a step closer. Entranced, IF took one more step closer to hear more clearly this heavenly sound.

_Crick__._

5pb's eyes opened at the sound of the leaf cracking under IF's boot. Her singing faded away as her ruby eyes locked into IF's emerald ones. The instant emptied the area of all sound. IF and 5pb were both as still as the river.

IF's breath caught in her throat.

The pupils of 5pb's eyes had vanished and been replaced by a spiking horizontal line not dissimilar to one you might find on a heart monitor.

IF gulped. "H-Hi—"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

Completely startled by the idol's shrill cry, IF tripped and fell backwards onto the grass. "W-W-What the hell?!"

"Ahhhh...!" 5pb continued like a frightened mouse, shaking all over and keeping her upright arms against her torso while staring at the brunette. Her wavelength eyes were running across her irises in the same way an ambulance would speed across a highway in an emergency.

IF kept her hand over her beating heart as she breathed as hard and deeply as she could. "S-Sorry...! I-I'm going...!" The brunette forced herself to stand up and turn around to run back the way she came.

"U-Um...!"

IF stopped. After she turned around, she saw 5pb's head facing her even as her eyes were looking at the grass near IF's feet instead of her eyes. "Y-Yeah? Did you want something?"

The idol kept her hands close to her chest. Her eyes ran up the trunk of a tree. She said nothing still.

IF let out a quiet sigh. "I'll be going now..."

Before she even got a single step away from her, the idol shouted "W-Wait!"

Making sure her exasperation didn't show on her face, IF looked back at 5pb again. This time, the idol was looking at her with eyes free of the wavelengths. The idol looked at IF as if she was trying to hold two magnets of the same polarity together but the brunette wasn't going to complain after 5pb had been deliberately avoiding her gaze. "What is it?" the Moderatist asked.

The idol panted, her chest heaving up and down as she tried to force words out of her throat. "A-Are... Are y-you okay?"

IF flinched. Now it was her gaze that was turned to the ground. "Y-Yeah... why do you ask?"

The idol knitted her hands together. She watched her knuckles as she massaged them with her fingertips. "Y-You look v-v-very... s-sad..."

The brunette glanced at 5pb. She then blinked as she sighed. "Is it really that noticeable?"

5pb nodded. 'To me', she mouthed even though IF couldn't make out her mouth movements in the darkness.

IF walked over to a tree and leaned against it. "I've had a really hard day."

No response came from the idol. The silence that filled the space between them felt as vast as the forest they stood in.

"Had a big fight with my friend," IF added, chipping into the huge monolith of reticence.

"Mhm," sounded 5pb, nodding.

The tranquillity became even more unsettling.

Pushing herself off of the tree, IF brushed dust off of her jacket. "I just came out for a walk to calm down a bit. I should... probably get back."

"Okay..." whispered 5pb.

IF tapped her foot.

5pb didn't say a word.

IF turned around and began to walk back.

"A-Are you still... f-friends...?"

Stopping on the spot, IF turned once more. "I don't have a clue. It was a very big fight..."

5pb's light gulp was audible to the brunette. "D-Do you... s-still want to be f-friends?"

"Hell yeah I do, it's just..." IF sat down on the grass, crossing her legs. "You have no idea what happened. I don't know if they'll ever forgive me."

"W... Was it bad?"

"It was terrible." IF rubbed her forehead. "I don't know what to do..."

A breeze brushed past the both of them, tossing about dead leaves that released crisp cracking sounds as they skipped along the ground. Taking a breath, 5pb stepped forward with strength. "M-Maybe they're just s-scared... Th-They might not know w-what's going on..." 5pb panted slightly before taking another deep breath. "Maybe you should talk to th-them..."

The hung head of the brunette let out a tired sigh. "You make it sound so easy..."

A sudden yelp escaped the idol who immediately turned her head away. "S-Sorry!"

"Hey, hey, hey, it's fine!" IF assured with a strained smile. "You're at least trying to make me feel better. By the way, what are you doing out here?"

"M-M-Me...?" 5pb squeaked, pointing to herself. "W-Well... I-I'm just... p-practicing s-some vocal t-t-t-training!"

"Oh, okay," responded IF as she pushed herself back up. "I'm sorry for interrupting, by the way. You were really good."

The blood that surged to the idol's face glowed through her cheeks. "... D-Don't worry... And th... thank you..."

Silence separated the idol and the Moderatist once more. IF shrugged and crossed her arms. "I think I better go back. I was walking because I was having trouble sleeping and I have a friend who's waiting for me."

"O-Oh..." The idol's head sunk slightly. "Well... h-hope you feel better."

"Actually, I think I do a bit," IF said as she looked at the palm of her hand. "Thanks, 5pb. You've been a big help."

"Y-You're welcome..."

The Moderatist pivoted on her heel to face the inn and began trekking back.

"H-Hey!" 5pb called. "What's your name?"

As if shocked by a taser, the brunette's head shot up. "Whoa! I completely forgot about that!" IF turned to face the idol again, grinning all the while. "I'm IF. I'm actually a big fan of yours."

"IF..." A smile took shape on the face of the singer for the first time this night as she repeated the brunette's name. "I'm 5pb. I hope I see you again."

IF smiled. This time, she didn't force herself to. "Same here. Bye."

"Bye."

IF disappeared into the woods, leaving the idol alone at the lake with her hands still held together like they were in prayer. "IF..."

"BOOYAH!" shouted Red as she leapt out of the bushes, still wearing her pyjamas, towards 5pb with her frisbees held tight between her fingers. "Really endangered damsels have nothing to fear as Red expeditiously dashes to the rescue! Now where did that scream come from?"

"W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Wha?!" 5pb shivered, stepping back.

The shorter girl turned to face the idol. As she looked the scantily-clad girl's body up and down, she whistled in approval. "Hoo boy, you're one of those shy types, aren't ya? Name's Red! R-E-D! How are ya?"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

The dust kicked up by 5pb as she dashed away completely covered Red, who was completely dwarfed by the dust cloud by five to one. She coughed out some of it that made its way inside her mouth before scratching her head. "Well, that was quick. Normally, they wait until after I've told them about being my wifey."

* * *

><p>One of the dogs whined at the side of Jacob's bed in the early morning.<p>

"Ugh, fine..." Jacob grunted as he forced himself up and awake. After he swung his legs over the side of the bed, he yawned as he wiped the rheum from his eyes. Blinking away the rest that remained, he looked around in the orange light provided from the window and found himself surprised that Nisa and Gust were still asleep. Compa's bed was empty, though. "Whoa, I'm the first one up... that's a first..."

The dog barked. Another dog walked up to Jacob and nuzzled his leg.

Jacob smiled tiredly before he reached down and petted both of them. "Hey guys..." After he decided enough was enough, he got up and looked around. "I wonder where... oh, I think I know..."

Without changing out of his red-striped pyjamas, Jacob walked through the currently illuminating corridors of the mansion to the room where he and the rest of the party talked with Jade. When he got there, he opened the door in the door to find Neptune still lying in her bed like a pale ghost. He also found Compa slumped over the edge of the bed, sleeping with a small smile. Jacob smiled as well.

"Oh, hello," greeted the doctor from Jacob's left before she yawned. "You're looking much better already."

"Thanks," Jacob answered as he rubbed his nose with his index finger. "That reflex is really a marvel."

"I know all too well," the doctor chuckled. "Have you had trouble sleeping?"

"No, I just noticed Compa was gone and I thought she went up here. Sorry, I got a bit worried."

"It is perfectly okay." The doctor and Jacob turned back to the serene sight. "You probably cannot tell but the face of Neptune has eased up more since Compa came here. The poor little girl couldn't sleep and she came here to check on her friend. There wasn't much for her to do though, so she fell asleep at the side of her friend."

Jacob's smile flattened as he turned back to the medical practitioner. "What do you mean 'not much for her to do'?"

The doctor might have smiled as she looked back at Jacob. "We found the vaccine."

Jacob's smile quickly came back. "Really? That's incredible. Have you made it yet?"

"Sadly, no. We need some ingredients but Jade will tell you more when you all wake up."

"Fair enough."

* * *

><p>After Nisa, Gust and Compa woke up and the party got dressed and had a satisfying breakfast, they were all together again in the modest room with Jade. Jacob and Compa stood up while Nisa and Gust sat down on the chairs around the table. The male, with his arms crossed, rocked from side to side. The girls were much more subtle in their movements; Compa exerted very little energy where she stood, Nisa rubbed her gloves hands slowly and without paying attention to them and Gust's suspended feet twisted left and right.<p>

"Morning, Jade," greeted Jacob. "Thanks for the new clothes, by the way."

The black clothing that Jacob wore previously had been replaced by dark green trousers and a white dress shirt with bright green buttons. He still had his black sneakers, though.

"It is no problem," Jade responded. "I cannot very well have you run around in clothes covered in grass stains. That would be very impolite of me. Are they to your liking?"

Jacob ran his fingers under his collar. "To be honest, they're not my thing. Long pants and shirts just make me itchy and feel weird."

"They also look a bit weird on you," Compa noted. "No offence."

"None taken."

"You only have to worry about them until we are finished washing your clothes. After that, you can have them back and we can go about our merry ways," said Jade. "Anyway, thank you very much for the poison. Without it, I doubt that the good doctor and I would have been able to identify it. That poison was so old that we could only find it in records from over a century ago. Where on Gamindustri Yvoire found it is beyond me but, thankfully, we managed to find the antidote recipe."

"So what is it?" Compa asked very quickly.

"The recipe is right here," stated Jade as he held up a sheet of paper. Compa's foot nearly stepped forward but the nurse exercised her restraint. The Aristocrat walked over to the seat in which Gust sat and handed her the paper.

Jacob trod over to the alchemist and looked over her shoulder to read the ingredients listed on it. His eyes gradually widened as he looked down the page. "The... hell is all this?"

Gust looked up at him. "You don't recognise ingredients?"

"Holokenoza, shepherd's purse, dropwort, hakobe, gogyo, radish, turnip... I only recognise the radish and the turnip. Dropwort sounds familiar, though."

"Seems simple enough," commented Compa. "We just need to get the ingredients and have Gust make an antidote."

"Leave it to Gust!" cheered the alchemist, winking and pointing a thumb at herself.

"I am afraid it will not be so easy," said Jade. "To combat a poison so old, the ingredients won't be kept in any old shop. They must be gathered."

"Except for the radish and the turnip," brought up Jacob. "You could by those in a supermarket."

"Perhaps but that is not necessary." Jade flipped the curl hanging over his forehead. "I have managed to locate the ingredients. They are all gathered in one dungeon, ripe for the picking."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Most certainly. Within a snowy forest, you'll find seven treasure chests, each holding one of the ingredients inside. Gather them all and return here so that we may make the poison and cure your friend."

"That is... unbelievably contrived."

Nisa rolled her eyes. "Are you seriously going to complain at a time like this?"

Jacob sighed. "Okay, I am tired and this isn't really the time."

A small smile began to form on the heroine's face.

"But you have to admit," Jacob started, making the heroine's smile vanish immediately, "that this is really stupid. Seven items of dire importance at this very moment are sprinkled around an open dungeon waiting for us to just waltz in and pick them up from their treasure chests. Most treasure chests only have potions or weapons and armour that we'll never use. The last time we got anything important was Compa's bell and Neptune's hammer in the tutorial dungeon. This is like a deus ex machina."

"We know..." groaned the girls.

Jade's mouth may have been hanging slightly open. "Jacob, are you... always the kind of person to look a gift horse in the mouth?"

"Yes," Jacob responded without a moment's hesitation. "Granted, I'll use the horse as much as I can but, if that horse has some disease or something, I'll want to know about it before taking it to my daughter."

"Fair enough but is this really the time and place for such caution?"

"It's always the time and place for it. For all I know, this could be a very poor and obvious trap set by Yvoire."

Like static, the suggestion surged through the bodies of the four other occupants of the room and imprinted itself on their minds. They didn't look like they'd fall asleep at another one of Jacob's complaints anymore; now they were all alert.

"That is... a fair thought..." Jade agreed with hesitation. "So what will you do?"

"Get the ingredients anyway," Jacob said with a shrug. "We really don't have a choice by this point."

"You said you were going to find IF, right?" asked Nisa as she stood from her chair. "Then I'll go find the ingredients with Gust. Compa, will you look after Neptune?"

The nurse paused for a moment but she nodded resolutely. "Sure thing. Nep-Nep's in good hands."

Jacob clapped his hands together. "Sounds like a plan. Just be careful in case it is a trap."

"Got it. I'm going to get Neptune's hammer. I may just need it." Nisa walked into Neptune's room, shutting the door behind her.

Jacob laced his fingers together and stretched his arms out in front of him. "Well, I better go find IF. I'll see you all later."

"Good luck, Jake!" Compa called.

Jacob opened the door. "I'll need it..." he murmured as he stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Jacob looked intently at the alleyways before him. He walked diligently from the mansion, through the woods surrounding it and to here, but he didn't move from this spot. Without taking his eyes off the narrow space ahead of him, he took his jetpack out and wore it, making sure that the crossing straps automatically fastened correctly. With his jetpack on, he lifted himself an inch off the ground and remained there for a couple of seconds before setting himself back down.<p>

Pursing his lips, Jacob hopped back and forth and side to side several times. When he was done, he took a deep breath. He then used his jetpack to carry his hops, going slightly further than normal. As he hopped and even after he finished, he still kept his eyes trained on the alleyway.

"Here goes nothing..." Jacob murmured.

Jacob used a burst from his jetpack to leap from where he was standing to dead centre of the alleyway intersection. He then leapt right into the centre of another alleyway intersection using another burst. Another burst took him back, right in the middle of another crossway, and one more to the left landed him in front of right where he started.

Jacob smirked. "Alright, I'm a bit faster now. I'll have to practice that in my own time, though."

He jet-hopped through the alleyways again and ended up on the main road. He looked left and right as he walked forward. "Okay... if I was a Moderatist who nearly poisoned her friend and got into a big fight with her other friend before he stole her poison, where would I go?"

Jacob took off and put away his jetpack before he sat down on a park bench. "I suppose I could ask Vert for... No, too risky." Jacob ran his hands through his hair.

Then he lifted his head. Maybe it wouldn't be too risky. The Basilicom was scarcely guarded and Jacob knew where Vert's room was. She liked IF and she'd listen to what Jacob would have to say if it concerned her.

Jacob stood up, put his jetpack back on and ran over to the Basilicom without a second thought.

* * *

><p>Vert put down her freshly emptied green mug of coffee at her side and grabbed her pink controller with two hands again. Her eyes were glued to the golden-framed TV in her room and she mashed her controller's buttons like a game of Whac-A-Mole with her thumbs. She sat cross-legged on her green carpet and her back rested against her white pillow that stood vertically against the table behind her. Her thumbs and fingers continued pressing the buttons without respite.<p>

"Why do bosses these days have so much health...?" Vert asked herself.

_Knockknockknock knock knock..._

"Hm?" Vert turned her attention to the window.

_"Oh no!"_ cried a voice from her TV, causing her to snap her head towards it once more. 'GAME OVER' was printed across the dimming screen in bold, neon blue letters.

"Curses!" the CPU shouted, dropping her controller on the floor. With a frown, she stood up and headed to the window that the knock came from and opened it. The boy on the other side, with black curly hair and wearing black clothing and a black and purple contraption on his back, sighed. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"Hi. My name is Jacob," the male greeted. His right arm swung forward slightly but he forced it up to cross over his chest with his other arm. "I really need to talk to you. It's about IF."

Vert's irritation was wiped away. "Iffy? What do you know about her?"

"Well, she's my party member and she's run away. I don't know where the hell she is and I really need some help."

"Oh, is she in trouble?"

"No, not really. She's just..." Jacob rubbed the back of his neck. "It's about Neptune and the Console War."

The CPU's alertness spiked. "H-How do you know about that?"

Jacob took his eyes off Vert and looked at the windowsill. "Uh, hey, do you mind if I come in? It's a very long story."

The CPU regarded him with wary eyes. "I don't see why you can't tell me from outside."

Jacob sighed. "Fine. First thing's first. I'm actually from another world. Neptune fell to my world after the whole Console War and Momus thing and we both went back to Gamindustri. Neptune's got amnesia and she doesn't remember a thing."

Vert raised an eyebrow. "You're from another world?"

Jacob groaned and ran his hands through his hair. "That's not important right now... All you need to know is that our worlds are as separate as they get, Neptune popped by for some reason I still don't know and now I'm here. That's it."

"... I see," said Vert slowly and with suspicion. "A question, though. If she has amnesia, how did you know about the Console War and Overlord Momus' attack?"

"Noire told us."

Vert was slightly taken aback. "Really? Noire just told you? She's far too proud for that."

"Well, true. We fought a few times and we finally came to an agreement. She told us about what was going on and why she wanted to kill Neptune. We're actually on a quest, see. There are four Key Fragments in Gamindustri, one on each landmass, and we need them to release Histoire. She can help drive Momus from Celestia, or so we're told."

"And how did you know about this Histoire?" Vert asked. "I have never heard of her and I doubt Noire and Blanc are any different."

"She can telepathically communicate with Neptune for some reason. She says she's the tome of the world and the world's her everything and she's the world's everything. I don't know much about her, to be honest, but it's not like we can ignore it. You know, that thing about Momus."

Vert held her hands together in front of her stomach. "These Key Fragments... How many do you have?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Just one, unfortunately. We found Planeptune's in a tutorial dungeon guarded by a Guard Vermin but Lastation's tutorial dungeon didn't have a Key Fragment and we have no idea where to find other Guard Vermins."

"Aren't Guard—"

"I _know_ that they're supposedly extinct but we found one," Jacob cut her off, clenching his teeth. "We've been to Lastation and Lowee but we've had no luck there. Noire's kind of tied up with the Tech Expo and Blanc's... well, Blanc."

A teasing and mirthful grin grew on the goddess' face. "That's hardly surprising. She's too immature and hot-headed to be a goddess."

"I'd probably be in a lot more joking mood if she didn't beat the crap out of me," Jacob sighed.

The goddess abandoned the grin and looked at Jacob seriously once more. "About Neptune's amnesia..." She paused. "... Does she truly not remember a thing?"

Jacob shook his head. "Nothing. I bet she only remembers her name because Histoire told her."

"Surprising..." Vert commented as her clasped hands moved up to in front of her chest.

"Not entirely. She fell through my roof and my second floor before destroying my first floor. I'm amazed she was only mildly irritated from that."

"Goddesses are much tougher than you think," said Vert. "Anyway, how does this tie back to Iffy? Why has she run away and why do you think I'd know anything about it?"

Jacob sat down on the floor. "Well, that's something else. Your Archbishop also knows about the Console War."

"... What?" Vert blinked twice as if she was trying to wipe off her windshield particularly stubborn fog.

"A few days ago, Yvoire said you invited my party to a banquet at the Red Ring Table. Is that right?"

The goddess thought in silence for a moment. Her eyes quivered as if she was reading an invisible record. "He told me that a party was held in this Basilicom two days ago but I never invited anyone..."

"Also," Jacob pressed on, "he took IF aside for a chat outside. My friend and I eavesdropped on them and he said that _you_ wanted Neptune dead. So he asked IF to poison Neptune."

"What?!" Vert shouted. "That is preposterous! We may be in the middle of a conflict but I would never ask for Neptune to be poisoned! And, even if I did, I would never involve a human in our affairs! How did he even come by to know about the Console War in the first place?!"

"I'm getting to that. IF demanded to see you to see if you really did want to poison Neptune. I eavesdropped on the whole thing because Neptune's a friend of mine and I don't want anyone getting poisoned and I know she didn't say anything about it."

Vert's eyebrows lifted slightly. "So that was you..." she murmured before her gaze moved to the floor. "Still... that explains so much about her attitude..."

"I caught up with IF and she was heading back and we got into a fight," Jacob continued. "I managed to take the poison off her but we didn't finish before we split away from each other. I met up with my party again but, as it turns out, Neptune was poisoned while I was gone."

"How did that come to pass?"

"From what my friend told me, room service came by and fed Neptune poisoned food. When that happened, Yvoire and his men stormed the room to arrest them for treason even though we haven't done anything but my party was lucky to escape. I'm currently looking for IF and my friends are looking for a cure for Neptune."

Vert rested a gloved hand on her head. "... Tell me, how would the Archbishop know about the Console War?"

"I don't know but I think it might have been the Evangelist's fault."

The CPU looked at him with tired eyes. "The Evangelist?"

"We met her back in Lowee. She told us about how Momus was undefeatable and she also knew about Neptune being a CPU. If anyone could tell Yvoire about the Console War and Neptune, it would be her."

"But why? What motive could she have for leaking such information?"

"I don't know," Jacob admitted with a shrug. "Gust said she might be trying to sabotage Planeptune for Lowee but that doesn't feel right for some reason."

The CPU took a moment. She looked at Jacob, taking his measure in a way that unsettled him enough to make him take one step back. "Do you mind if I call you Jake?"

Jacob paused in surprise. "Uh— oh, sure," he answered.

"Thank you. Jake... forgive me but I'm having a hard time believing this. You say that Neptune, one of my enemies, is on my landmass and looking for objects I've never heard of. I will at least believe that. However, your claims of my Archbishop poisoning someone behind my back and Lowee's Evangelist being some sort of anarchist are, to be frank, ridiculous. To believe that you are actually from another world is out of the question." With a tired breath, Vert moved her hand up to cup her cheek. "Admittedly, you don't exactly look like anyone I know from Gamindustri but still..."

"I don't really care if you believe me. I just thought I'd let you know. What I really want right now is to find IF and you're a friend of hers."

Vert sighed. "Very well, Jake. Iffy is a friend of mine as well and I don't intend to let her suffer. Also, I can ask her about your story."

Relief broke out on Jacob's face as a wide smile. "Thank you so much."

"I'm coming out. Please make way."

Jacob moved away from the window so that the CPU could step out. Jacob opened his mouth but, before he could speak, a flash of light enveloped the blonde goddess before dissipating outwards in all directions. The goddess, now standing slightly taller, had her blonde hair replaced with bright green hair tied into a ponytail at the top of her head. Her irises had changed colour from the deep sea's blue to an amethyst's violet and her pupils had been replaced by white power symbols. Like the other CPUs, Green Heart was more or less covered in a skintight bodysuit. Hers was white but with green and place pieces scattered here and there. Like usual, the bodysuit came with claws and covered her feet, legs, forearms and waist but left her shoulders and upper thighs bare. Unlike the other CPUs, though, Green Heart's attire was even more revealing; it covered the top of her bust but left the cleavage and underboob uncovered in addition to her stomach. Her wings were refreshingly simple; just three very long pink diamond shapes floating off either side of her back.

Green Heart turned to look at Jacob with eyes as cold as gems. "Do you mind being carried?"

"Wait, we're going right now?" asked Jacob.

"Yes. We cannot delay this time. Iffy might be in danger and I will not allow her to come to harm. I know you are unable to fly but I will carry you if I have to."

"You won't have to." Grinning confidently, Jacob used his jetpack to hover slightly over the ground. "I have a jetpack. I can fly as fast as you need me to."

The tops of Green Heart's eyes lifted just barely. "I see. Well, that is one less inconvenience for me. Let's go."

Green Heart blasted off into the sky. After Jacob recovered from the shockwave generated from the goddess' acceleration, he took flight as well.

* * *

><p>Gust's feet dug into the snow on the forest floor as she pushed the treasure chest open with a grunt. The alchemist gasped when she finally forced the box open, leaving her only to jump up and hang over the edge. She licked her lips as she found the key item she was looking for and quickly pocketed it.<p>

"Got i—"

Before she could finish shouting to Nisa, a Weeping Grass was kicked into her, knocking her into the chest and shutting the door over her. Feeling rather indignant, Gust pushed herself up and banged on the walls surrounding her, generating as much noise as she could with her very thick gloves.

"Hey! Let Gust out!" she screamed.

She heard a rapidly approaching string of 'sorry's that quickly picked up in volume before the chest door opened, revealing the familiar face of the heroine. "I am so sorry! That random encounter came out of nowhere! I didn't mean to kick the monster into you, honest!"

Gust pouted. "Be careful next time," she warned before she escaped the gold-decorated deathtrap.

"So how many ingredients does that make now?" asked the heroine, dusting snow off her black jumpsuit's sleeve.

"Three. Four left. Basilicom?"

"No sign of them," answered Nisa as she looked into the trees. "This is really easy..."

"Some story events like that," Gust commented. "Can't draw anything out. Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>Alright everyone, pack your bags because the train's going again.<strong>


	31. Walk With The Wind

**Honestly, I was not expecting to get so many reviews. Granted, they're not all for the last chapter but still!**

**Saturn56: When the ham did Jacob have a kissing booth built around him and how long has that been there? Well, it's closed for business and none of that funny stuff's gonna happen. As for Vert calling Jacob Jake, well, I imagine it's naturally easier for her, like Compa calling Jacob Jake. I don't watch the anime anymore and... okay, that's interesting.**

**Guest: Maybe. We still have a few things to go, mind. And fanart draws itself; it's only acceptable for me to ask if I'm willing to pay. It's their free time and they choose what to do with it.**

**SS7x3: Ah, okay.**

**mastermind: What? No! I'm just saying there's a time and place for every idea and this just isn't the sort of fic for those ideas. Terribly sorry for the misunderstanding.**

**Random Reader: Ha ha ha! Here's your next chapter.**

**Eisenfaust: Thank you, thank you, that there was, that was also there, that was finally also there. There's no reason for him to fight EVERY CPU, maybe she just feels that Jake is easier to say, me too.**

**Guest: Like I said to Neptune Fan last chapter, let's not bring other people into this. If you have a problem with someone else's fanfic, kindly go review THEIRS, tell them what they did wrong and give them advice on what they can do to overcome it. Make sure to be constructive and supportive and helpful. Also, if you can, point out any strengths you can find; the last thing we want is for someone to think their strengths are actually their weaknesses.**

_**In short, provide constructive criticism.**_

**And, to make up for the wait you lot suffered, here's the next chapter.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 31: Walk With The Wind<strong>

Green Heart landed on the main landmass and reverted out of her HDD form. "Okay Jake, where do we go now?"

"_I'm still up here!_" shouted Jacob, making Vert quizzically look up and behind her. A moment later, Jacob landed behind her and began massaging his face like he was rubbing the creases out of a bedsheet. "Oh, god..." he groaned.

"Are you okay?" asked Vert.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jacob took his hands off his face and exhaled. "Just never expected you to fly that fast. My face can't take speeds like that."

"I apologise. I'll make sure to go slower so that you can keep up next time."

"Much appreciated." Jacob looked out towards the city. "So what do we do now?"

The CPU looked at Jacob. "Hm?"

"What do we do now?" Jacob asked again.

"... Why are you asking me?" Vert inquired. "Aren't you taking me to Iffy?"

Jacob blinked. "... She's gone missing. I asked you for help to find her."

"Well, do you have any leads?"

If you put your hand on Jacob's head, you'd feel it shaking slightly. "No. That's why I went to you for help."

Vert crossed her arms under her impressive bust and frowned. "Then where do you propose we start?"

"_**I ASKED YOU TO HELP WITH...**_" Jacob's hands, curled fingers and all, rose into the air like he was preparing to viciously milk a giant cow and his teeth clenched together. He then saw Vert looking at him sternly, her fingers tapping against her bicep. He remained silent. He lowered his arms as he took a deep breath and exhaled again. "I'm terribly sorry about that. I have been through a lot in the last couple of days and I am rather stressed as a result and I nearly took it out on you. I am deeply sorry."

A small smile appeared on Vert's face. "It's alright. I understand. I'm worried as well." She sighed. "Maybe it was a mistake to leave so hastily..."

"To be honest, I would've thought you'd put together some sort of search party to look for IF."

"That's the kind of thing I'd leave to the Archbishop but, this time, it's for a friend of mine. I need to deal with this myself."

Jacob's eyes turned up towards the sky. "I don't think that's right... but whatever."

"Anyway, we're here now." Vert and Jacob began walking towards the city. "What do you propose we do?"

"Go to the main street, I suppose. Maybe we can ask around for a brunette with a big blue coat."

Vert smiled again. "Sounds like a plan."

"It's a back-up plan that I'd use if every other option was exhausted by virtue of being unhelpful but it'll do."

* * *

><p>Jade knocked softly on the door to Neptune's room. "May I come in?"<p>

"Huh?" Compa perked up. "Oh, sure thing."

The door opened quietly and the silhouette slipped into the room. Compa was sitting on a seat next to Neptune's bed and she held an olive leather book open on her lap. The left half of the book had accumulated a small pile of pages but the right side still dwarfed it. Jade silently shut the door behind him. "I am terribly sorry. Am I interrupting you?"

Compa shook her head. "No. I just finished the second chapter and I think we could use a break." Compa used the book's blue ribbon as a bookmark and closed the book. "Can I help you with anything?"

"I am perfectly fine, thank you. I just wished to check up on you and little Neptune." Jade walked over to Compa's side and stood at the corner of Neptune's bed. "It appears Neptune still has not changed for the better or worse... She must have a remarkable immune system. That poison was very strong."

The nurse smiled. "Nep-Nep's tough. I don't think anything can take her down."

Jade turned his head to Compa. "You seem to revere her."

Compa nodded. "She's the reason I'm on this journey in the first place. She's full of energy and kind and she wants to help others..."

"She sounds like your typical hero."

"You could say that." Compa rubbed the back of her head.

"If I may ask, what is this quest you are on?"

The nurse turned her head to look up at the aristocrat. "We're going around the four landmasses looking for Key Fragments. We need them to save the world."

"Ah, one of those quests." Jade crossed his legs and rested his hand on the bedpost to balance himself as he leaned on it. "I am surprised we don't have more saving the world shenanigans going on. It is not like video games go for any other approach. So how is your Key Fragment search going?"

Compa smiled. "It's going well, thank you."

Jade made a low hum. "... Was Neptune poisoned because of this quest?"

Compa looked back at Neptune. Only her head was visible from underneath the thick covers that were just as pale as her skin. "... Maybe."

"Very well, then." Jade stood upright once more. "How, exactly, would one go about finding a Key Fragment?"

"Well, we know they're found in dungeons and guarded by strong monsters."

"A very vague clue..." Jade crossed his arms. "Very well, then. I will help you in your search."

Compa's head snapped towards him. "Really?"

"Of course. I have yet to see an instance of someone lying about the fate of Gamindustri. Besides, monster attacks are on the rise and, if these Key Fragments are the key to stopping them, it would be daft of me to not provide assistance."

"W-Well, thank you... How can you help?"

"Well..." Even though his face couldn't be seen, it would be hard to miss the feeling of someone looking left and right. "Don't tell anyone about this, as not even Sir Turquoise knows, but I happen to have quite a few friends with their ears to the ground."

"Ears to the ground? That sounds uncomfortable."

"No, no, not in the literal sense. I mean that they know a lot about Leanbox. I am sure they will be of great aid in the search."

"O-Oh..." Suddenly sheepish, Compa's gaze fell to her feet.

Jade chuckled slightly. "You are one of a kind."

Compa's hands scrunched up the plaid skirt they rested on.

Jade stopped chuckling. "Have I offended you? I am terribly sorry, I did not mean to insult you—"

"It's okay... I know I'm weird."

"What? Do not be absurd. You are just like everyone else."

"No, no I'm not..." Compa sighed. "Everyone thinks I'm weird. IF, Jake, Nisa, Gust... no one thinks I'm really all that smart."

"You do have your eccentricities but everyone in your party is odd to a certain degree. Gust wears that ridiculous outfit and speaks in third person, Jacob is petty and would go spelunking in a horse's mouth—"

"They still believe in each other, though..." Compa's hands reached out and overlapped Neptune's right hand that was kept under the blanket. "Nep-Nep and grandpa are the only ones who believe in me."

"Even if you are... odd, I am certain your allies place great faith in your abilities nonetheless."

Compa turned up to him but, before she could speak, the door opened and Nisa stepped inside. Neptune's hammer rested on her shoulder and a grin rested on her face. "We're back."

"Nisa!" Compa stood up from her seat. "Did you get the ingredients?"

"Sure thing!" affirmed Gust as she walked in, holding a bottle filled with a lime green liquid. "Synthesised, too! Now to give to patient..."

Compa lifted Neptune's head slightly and opened her mouth, allowing Gust to pour the contents of the open bottle into it. Once the antidote was all used up empty save for the usual drops that remained at the bottom, Gust took the container away and the nurse rested Neptune's head against the pillows once more.

Compa waited for a couple of seconds before placing her hand on Neptune's forehead. "She's not changing..."

"Storyline antidotes not heal poisons instantly like gameplay antidotes," said Gust. "Wait one moment."

Five seconds passed and not a single sign of change could be seen on Neptune's face.

"Well, I guess we need to wait for her body to properly absorb the antidote." Jade turned his head towards Nisa and Gust. "Was it hard to retrieve the ingredients?"

"No. Just annoying," Gust answered. "Got locked inside three treasure chests."

"I'm sorry!" Nisa shouted. "When you're fighting three monsters at once while protecting your comrade as they rummage through treasure chests for herbs, it's kind of hard to think about collateral damage!"

"You patted me on the back and pushed me in!"

"That was an accident!"

Jade might have glanced back at Compa. "Hopefully, dear Neptune won't have to wake up to this noise."

With a sigh, Compa nodded.

* * *

><p>Jacob and Vert strolled through the main street of Leanbox. Like tourists, they kept diligent watch of their surroundings. They looked at every NPC they came across, watching the ones running to and fro and going into buildings.<p>

"So..." Jacob sighed as he placed his hands in his pockets. "Where do we start?"

Vert glanced over the fruit and vegetable stalls in the street. "To be honest, I wouldn't know. Do you know who Iffy might have talked to?"

"Afraid not. We had a massive fight not far from here but no one seems to know about it."

Vert looked down the street. "Um, Jake?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know that non-silhouetted character?"

Wearing an expression of confusion, Jacob followed her finger and looked down the street as well. Immediately, his eyes widened. "Vert, we should hide."

"Huh?"

"Hide. In the alley. Now."

Jacob quickly strode into the nearest alleyway, followed by a confused yet compliant Vert. He peeked around the corner and saw none other than Red skipping down the stone street before walking into one of the shops. It was a very old-fashioned greengrocer with a wooden sign on top of a red shelter that stretched over the baskets that lay in front of the store, holding fruits and vegetables.

"Do you know who that is?" Vert asked.

"Yeah, her name's Red. I think she's a friend of IF's. She interrupted our fight and attacked me."

"Does she not like you very much?"

"No but I can't think why." Jacob kept watching Red as she talked with the silhouette at the counter. When they stopped, he reached behind his counter and pulled out a square basket of fruits and vegetables that he gave to the red-headed girl.

"What's with the dragon around her neck?" Vert asked.

"I haven't a clue." He turned around to the CPU. "Hey, can you ask her if she knows where IF is?"

"What? Why me?"

"Because she doesn't like me."

"But what will I say? I cannot just ask her where Iffy is. That would be suspicious."

"Then ask her if she's seen a friend of yours that happens to resemble IF and even has the name IF. Maybe you could bring up that Red's not a silhouette and that she's relevant to the plot somehow and that's why you're asking her."

Vert pursed her lips in thought. "That's a good idea, actually... Hang on, then."

Vert strode out of the alleyway and walked over to Red. Red gave an apple from the basket to her dragon, which consumed it entirely in one bite. Red laughed before picking up the basket again with both hands and walking away. She stopped and turned around when she felt Vert behind her.

Vert smiled warmly. "Excuse me, may I—"

"_Waiiit_ just a minute!" Red shouted as she stared at Vert intensely. The dragon blinked before glancing at Vert. It yawned and went to sleep. Red didn't blink once.

"... Is something the matter?" Vert asked, leaning back slightly.

Finally, Red stopped glaring at the CPU and grinned. "Sorry about that! It's just that you have big boobies and you're kinda tall so I thought you'd be one of those evil mature women. But you're not wearing lipstick so I know you're a goodie."

"Huh... she's got a point," Jacob mumbled.

"Anyway, I'm Red! What do you need help with?" asked the smaller girl.

Vert smiled. "My name is Vert. I am looking for a friend of mine. You wouldn't happen to have seen her, would you? She has long brown hair, green eyes and she wears a big blue jacket."

Red's mouth fell from its usual wide smile to a simple line. "Is... her name Iffy?"

Vert's eyes brightened. "That's right! Do you know her? I'm so worried about her. Something happened and I haven't seen her since."

"Well, you found me at just the right time! She's sitting back in my apartment right now! Do you want me to take you to her?"

All of a sudden, Vert lost her composure. "Um... Uh..."

Red blinked. "What?"

"J-Just hold on a second! I need to, um, think for a bit."

Much to Red's confusion, Vert strode to the alleyway she came from. Jacob looked at the CPU expectantly. "... Yes?"

"Jake, what do I say?"

"What do you mean, what do you say?"

"We never discussed the plan to this level. She's asking me to—"

"I know what she asked you to do. Say yes. I never thought we'd get this lucky and we cannot pass this up."

"But don't you need to come along?"

"I'll follow behind you. Don't worry, you just won't see me."

Vert sighed. "Very well," she said before walking back out and to Red.

The red-haired girl put a finger to the side of her mouth. "Who were you talking to?"

"J-Just a ghost that only I can see," Vert lied.

Red 'hmm'ed for a moment before smiling. "Alrighty. Follow me," she said before walking down the road, carrying her basket.

Vert took one more look behind her. Jacob gave her a thumbs up. She turned back towards Red and followed after her, giving Jacob a thumbs up from behind her back all the while.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Iffy! I'm back with the shopping!" called Red as she carried the basket into the room.<p>

"Hey," greeted IF, lazily raising her hand from the bed she rested on while looking at her phone. "You didn't just put it in your disc?"

"Nah! It's more authentic to carry it!" Red set the basket down in one corner of the room. "Plus, it helps build your muscles."

"If you say so," responded the brunette without looking back at her.

Red walked over to the other bed and made herself comfortable on it. "Hey, you remember that thing from yesterday?"

IF turned her head towards Red and raised her eyebrow. "What thing?"

"You know, the thing that happened."

IF's face tightened. She quickly turned away to look back at her phone. "Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

"I found a friend of yours who wants to talk about it."

The pink phone fell from IF's hand onto her stomach. "W... What...?"

With her hands held in front of her stomach, Vert walked into the room. As usual, her gait was light as if she was walking on water yet her steps were as heavy as the solemnity that showed on her face. "Hello, Iffy. I've heard you've gotten into a bit of trouble and I wanted to check up on you. Are you okay?"

All that came out of IF's mouth were sharp gasps. She quickly stood up, not once taking her eyes off the CPU. "V-V-V-Vert? W-W-What are you doing here?"

Vert's eyes softened as she looked at the shaken girl in front of her. She gently made her way to the brunette. "Iffy, it has come to my attention that... well, something happened yesterday and you were involved. I need to talk to you about it."

IF's entire body began to shake.

"Iffy, don't worry," said Vert as she placed her hands on IF's shoulders. "Please, let's just sit down and talk about this. I promise you that I am not angry." Under her gentle yet urging touch, IF sat down on the bed with her. "Tell me Iffy, did you enjoy the banquet?"

"Huh? What banquet?" asked Red.

"Red, please," Vert answered before looking back at the slumping brunette.

IF kept her eyes on her feet. "I... didn't have much time to enjoy it, unfortunately. Got wrapped up in work."

"Iffy, I never actually invited your party."

IF sharply turned to her. "What?"

"Hey, what's going on?" Red whined.

Vert sighed. "Very well, I'll tell you. A banquet was held at the Basilicom only two days ago and Iffy and her party were invited. They were told I had invited them but that was false. So it goes, my Archbishop made that up. Is that true, Iffy?"

"Wait, Basilicom? Archbishop?" Red repeated.

IF kept her gaze away from Vert's face as she slowly nodded. "Th-That's right... He came to Ne... my party's leader and gave her the invitation, saying it was from you for helping clear the dungeons."

"Is that so... Well, I have another question. Did Yvoire ask you to poison your party's leader?"

The Moderatist stiffened.

"Iffy?"

With a gulp, IF nodded again.

Vert granted her a moment of silence before speaking again. "... If I may ask, what did you do?"

"... Why are you asking me this...?" IF asked very quietly.

The CPU sighed. "I'm sorry, Iffy. I know it's painful but I really need to know."

Red walked up to IF's side. "Iffy, what happened?" she asked without her usual zeal.

With a groan, IF ran her hands through her hair. "He offered me a poison. I... took it..."

"Why?"

"He... He said you wanted me to."

"And you arranged to meet me to confirm that?"

"Iffy..." Red rested her hand on IF's. IF overlapped her other hand on top of hers.

"That's..." IF paused. "That's right..."

"My goodness..." Gently, Vert hooked her index finger and thumb under IF's chin and guided her face to look at her. IF did her best to not show any extreme emotions but Vert could tell without a doubt that IF was straining herself. "Why didn't you say anything?"

IF took Vert's hand away from her and moved her gaze back to the ground. "I... didn't want to disturb you..."

"Iffy, I wouldn't have minded at all," said Vert. "It was a nice day but there are some things that simply take more priority. Had you told me about this, I would have done something about it immediately."

"W-Wait..." started Red, looking at IF with shaking eyes. "You... really poisoned someone?"

"No, she didn't," answered Jacob as he strode into the room with his hands in the pockets of his pants.

"J-Jacob?!" IF stammered, jumping back.

"You?!" Red, immediately on the defensive, pulled out her frisbees. "What are you doing here?!"

"Relax. I'm not here to fight," he stated with his hands up.

"He's correct," said Vert. "Out of concern, he asked me to help him find you."

"What?" IF turned back to Vert.

"He told me everything as well. About your quest for the Key Fragments, about Neptune and her amnesia, about this Histoire you're trying to rescue and about Yvoire's transgressions. I merely wished to confirm it with you."

"I also told her about me being from another world. That wasn't my best idea but I thought it would be a bad idea to leave that out," Jacob added.

"What do you want?" IF snapped, looking at him through narrowed eyes.

"Bad news. Neptune's been poisoned."

IF's eyes shot open again. "What? How?"

"I'm guessing Yvoire did it. Nisa told me that he and his guys stormed the room after Neptune was poisoned and they escaped. Nisa and Gust are currently looking for a cure." Jacob took a couple of steps forward. "IF, we know you didn't poison Neptune. I believe you when you say you didn't want to. Everyone's worried sick about you."

IF stood up from the bed and walked to the wall. She leaned forward, supporting herself with her arm propped against the wall.

Jacob didn't move from where he stood. "You don't want to come back?"

"I can't..." IF whispered. "Not yet..."

"What?"

"I can't face them now!" she shouted. "Jacob, you... don't know how I'm feeling right now."

"Why can't you tell me?"

IF bristled. "It's really stupid. It's embarrassing... and I almost killed Neptune over it. So I can't go back yet... Don't try to convince me otherwise."

Jacob let out a small breath. He glanced around the room as he thought about what to say next. "You're right. It's not my decision to make, so I'm not going to force you to do anything and I'm not going to hold it against you."

IF pushed herself away from the wall and turned around to look at Jacob. She looked at Jacob with a sense of uncertainty and her soul began to show itself through her face.

Jacob walked up to her and extended his hand to her. "If you don't mind, can I stay with you for a bit? I think it'd be helpful as the others are still a bit mad right now and it'd help bridge you and them back together."

IF looked down at his hand. With her head tilted forward, her brown bangs slightly veiled her eyes but Jacob could still see the sorrow within her just as much as he heard it when he eavesdropped on her and Vert. She looked back up at him, her lips in the infancy of a smile, and took his hand in hers. "That'd be great. Thank you so much."

"Aw, do we really have to?" Red whined. The dragon on her shoulder rolled his eyes. "I don't like having sausages in my flower garden."

"... What?" Jacob said as he looked at the red-haired girl.

"He's a friend of mine," said IF. "Don't worry, I'll still be your wifey," she added with a smile.

Jacob looked back at the Moderatist with a raised eyebrow.

Red crossed her arms and pouted. "Darn tootin' you will be."

Vert stood up from the bed. "I have a few questions for your party as well. Do you mind telling me where they are?"

"Not at all. They're..." Jacob paused. Inside his chest, his heart began to grow heavy. The thought of Vert telling his party of his decision reminded him of when he left his home for Gamindustri. "... Actually, I'll take you there. I need to tell them about me staying with IF."

"I can do that. It won't be a problem, I assure—"

"No," Jacob cut her off. "I need to tell them myself."

Vert paused, not expecting such a firm answer. "... Suit yourself. At the very least, a guide would be beneficial."

The male turned back to the brunette. "I'll be back in a bit. Unless, of course, something comes up."

"... You just got here, said you're staying with us and now you're taking off again?" IF asked.

"Look, the others need to know and I'd rather do it in person."

The brunette sighed. "Fine."

"Don't worry. I'll come back before you know it."

"Take your time!" added Red. "Preferably a few months!"

"You can shut up." Before Red could respond, Jacob followed Vert out the door. Quite quickly, too.

"Lousy male protagonists stealing all the wifeys..." Red grumbled.

"He's not stealing anyone from anyone, okay?" IF assured the dragon-carrying girl before sitting down on the bed. She smiled at Red.

Red smiled back. "By the way, who was that Vert?"

"I'll... tell you later."

* * *

><p>Vert and Jacob arrived at the mansion. It was in the middle of a forest so the path leading to it was narrow. The cobblestone was well-arranged and tended to, though, much like the mansion itself. The three-story brick building stood proud with a tall grey roof even in the isolated clearing. Two large columns supported the section of the roof that extended over the two wooden front doors shaped in a perfect square.<p>

Vert glared at Jacob. "You never told me your party lived with the Aristocrats."

"Why, is that a big deal?" Jacob asked.

"A _very_ big deal. The Aristocrats oppose the Basilicom. Their conflict harms Leanbox. Surely you know this."

Jacob shrugged. "Well, we're only staying with them because they're helping us with Neptune. We didn't have much choice, mind you. If it weren't for them, we'd be running around in circles finding a cure that we'd have no way of finding."

Frowning, Vert turned her head back at the mansion and walked along the path. "Let's just find your party."

* * *

><p>"Here we are," said Jacob to Vert as they stood at one of the many brown oak doors in the yellow corridor of the mansion. Jacob knocked softly three times.<p>

"Who is it?" Jade called.

"It's Jacob. I'm back. I've also got a visitor."

"Ah, come right in."

Jacob pushed open the door and walked into the modest room, Vert following shortly after. Nisa, Gust and Compa quickly approached them.

"Jake! Welcome back!" Compa greeted.

"Thanks." He turned his attention to the alchemist and heroine. "Did you two get it?"

"Yes. Antidote administered. Waiting for it to take effect." While Gust spoke, she stared at Vert with unmoving eyes.

Vert squirmed slightly before crossing her arms in front of her. "Y-Yes, is there something you need?"

"Jacob," Nisa began, arms crossed and foot tapping on the floor, "who is that?"

The door leading into Neptune's room opened and Jade came out. "Sorry Jacob, I was just..." As he entered the room, his eyes possibly fell on Vert. Everyone looked back at the aristocrat as the room suddenly fell into silence. Jacob was rather certain that Jade was more casual before he saw Vert. Now, Jade seemed immeasurably tense. "... Who might you be?" the aristocrat finally asked.

"She's a friend of mine," Jacob answered in the goddess' stead. "I asked her to help me find IF and we did."

"You found IF?" Compa repeated loudly.

"I'll get to that later. Anyway, she wanted to ask about the whole poisoning thing."

"May I please see Neptune?" Vert asked.

Jacob could feel Jade glare at him. "... Absolutely," Jade answered possibly through gritted teeth. "In the meantime, I would like to take Jacob away to hold a small discussion so that you are not disturbed. Compa, Nisa, Gust, if you wish to, you may join us."

"Thank you," said Vert before she made her way past Jade and into Neptune's room.

Jade walked towards Jacob with quick yet angry steps that lightly echoed throughout the room. "What is the meaning of this?" he growled. "We are in the middle of a war and you _bring the CPU to our headquarters?_ Are you _mad?_"

"Wait, what?" Compa asked. "You mean—"

"Yes, Compa," Jade answered, still looking at Jacob. "Your friend here has invited Lady Green Heart herself to walk around here."

"What? Th-That's Lady Green Heart?" Nisa shouted.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Yes, sensei. I told her about our quest to this point as well."

"Jacob..." Jade began, exasperated and on the verge of exploding, "I do not need to remind you that the Basilicom and Aristocrats are at odds."

"What did you want me to do? Say no? She's a goddess! Besides, it was her Archbishop that started all this. She has a right to investigate."

"And how to do you know that she did not plan the whole thing with him?"

"Because she's not that kind of person," Jacob snapped. "Yvoire acted behind her back."

"What makes you so sure of this?" Jade shouted.

"I eavesdropped on her and IF!" Jacob shouted back. "I know what kind of person she is!"

"Bullcrap you do!" Jade yelled. "You can't possibly know anyone! Did it ever occur to you that people can and will use you? There are people out there who use kindness as only a mask for their true intentions. You're far too naive."

"Normally, I'd agree with you," said Jacob, calming down. "However, I know how these things work. I've had experience. I can virtually guarantee that Vert's a good guy."

"Girl," Compa corrected.

"Whatever."

Jade sighed. "For your sake, and that of your party's, I pray that Vert does not fall into the small space that is next to your 'virtual guarantee'." The aristocrat then made his way to the door. "I am heading back to my room. Can I trust you to see Green Heart out when her business is finished?"

"Absolutely," Jacob affirmed with a nod.

"Splendid." Without another word, Jade shut the door on his way out into the hall way.

"So..." Gust started, "did Vert know where Key Fragment is?"

"She didn't," Jacob answered.

Just then, the CPU exited Neptune's room and walked towards the party. "I could hear that argument from the other room. It was quite intense."

"He didn't like me bringing you here," explained Jacob.

"I see..." Vert glanced to Neptune's door. "I saw Neptune. She's rather pale..."

"She used to be much worse before we gave her the antidote," Nisa replied.

"Is that so? It's a shame she's not awake. I would very much have liked to have talked to her. So is it true, then? That the Archbishop raided your inn room with several guards?"

"Absolutely!" Compa piped up. "We were eating, then Nep-Nep fell unconscious, then the Archbishop and his friends came in, then he kicked ArfArf into a wall, then we escaped with Nep-Nep, then Mr Jade found us and he helped—"

"Hold on, please," Vert interrupted. "I'm sorry, but... 'Nep-Nep'?"

Compa blinked. "That's my nickname for Neptune... What, is something wrong with it?"

"Oh, absolutely not!" Vert beamed, much to the confusion of the party. "It's a perfect fit for her. I think I'll call her that when she wakes up."

"Uh, back on topic, please?" Jacob rolled his hand in the air.

"Ah, yes." Just like that, Vert's face was passive once more. "So Neptune had been poisoned... but you say she was poisoned before Yvoire arrived on the scene. What makes you think they're connected?"

"Gust and Jacob eavesdropped on IF and Yvoire conversation," the alchemist answered quickly. "Yvoire asked IF to poison Neptune."

"And she didn't..." Vert muttered, recounting what she heard from Jacob.

"And I don't know anyone else who would do it or even have the motive to," Jacob added. "The only people I know who want Neptune dead are the kind of people who would prefer to fight her to the death."

"Also, Yvoire knew Neptune was goddess," Gust chipped in.

"Really..." Vert held her forehead. "This is far too complicated."

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked.

"Yes, I just need some rest..." Vert walked over to a nearby seat and sat down with a sigh. "I must confess, I haven't had a workload like this for quite some time... By the way, you mentioned Neptune had amnesia?"

Compa nodded. "That seems to be the case. When we first met, she couldn't recall a thing. She didn't even know what landmasses were or what they were called."

Vert closed her eyes. After a moment of silence, she stood up again and walked to the door. "Thank you for your time. This discussion was very productive. I'll be seeing myself out, if you don't mind."

"Oh, absolutely. Have a good day, Lady Green Heart."

"And you too, um..."

"Compa, Nisa and Gust," finished Jacob, pointing at the three girls in sequence.

"Ah, thank you. Have a good day, all of you." Vert opened the door and walked out.

Nisa shot her fists into the air. "Finally!" Quickly, she turned to Jacob. "What happened to IF?"

"What— Oh." Jacob rotated his head as his thoughts caught up with Nisa's question. "I found her staying at an inn with Red. Vert helped me find her and talk to her. I offered her to come back but she said no."

"What? Why?" Compa asked.

"She _really_ didn't want to poison Neptune and the whole scenario's left her feeling guilty beyond reckoning." Jacob, closing his eyes, took a deep breath. "I've decided to stay with her."

The three girls took a sudden step back from Jacob and looked at him like he just fired a bullet into the air. "What?!" they all shouted in tandem.

"She's having a lot of problems and I think she needs a friend from our party. I've decided to go and help her out with whatever's wrong."

"B... But..." Compa struggled. "But what about Nep-Nep? She's going to get better soon... Isn't she going to see you?"

Jacob looked towards the door leading to Neptune's room. The last time he saw her, she was kept in the duvet like a cocoon, its bright red sharply contrasting with her visible skin. Her skin's wan white shade seeped into her once vibrant purple hair and turned it into lifeless strands like old beetroot. Not once did her eyes open from when he stood in her room.

Jacob rubbed his shoulder. "Please tell her where I've gone. I'll come back tomorrow afternoon to visit."

"You sure...?" Gust asked. "Are you really going, too?"

With a smile, Jacob bent down to her level. "Gust, with both me and IF gone, it falls to you to be the mature one of the party. Keep everyone in line. Make sure Neptune doesn't beat up anyone who doesn't need to be beaten up. IF and I are coming back soon, don't you worry. Just make sure to be responsible and not to wring the others of their money. We all need it, you know."

Gust smiled back and moved her hands behind her. "You can count on Gust."

"I prefer not to but I have no choice." Jacob stood up again and looked at Compa and Nisa. They had no smiles to offer him.

The nurse gulped. "... Bye," she said to him with a cracking voice.

Jacob nodded. He couldn't summon a farewell before he exited into the hallway.

With a sudden roar, Nisa turned around and punched a hole in the wall behind her.

"N-Nisa!" Compa yelped.

The heroine panted. "S-Sorry..." she apologised as she withdrew her hand from the plaster. "I needed to get it out of my system..."

* * *

><p>"Are you certain she is nowhere to be found inside?" Yvoire asked the Sanctified standing guard at the Basilicom's doors.<p>

"Sir! We have not been able to locate Lady Green Heart within or around the Basilicom!" the guard reported with a salute.

"Damn it all..." Yvoire cursed as he turned around and paced. "Where could she have gone? And without telling us?"

"It's quite alright, Archbishop," said Vert as she approached, immediately capturing the attention of the silhouettes. "I merely went out for a walk."

"L-Lady Green Heart!" exclaimed the Sanctified.

"Lady Green Heart, where have you been?" inquired the Archbishop. "I was afraid my men would be taken ill from news of your absence!"

"I assure you, Yvoire, I am capable of defending myself," responded the CPU.

"Of that fact, I have no shortage of faith. However, should something happen to you by any stroke of malevolent luck, we would be as helpless as headless hens."

Vert narrowed her eyes at Yvoire. "... You seem to do fine without my direct leadership."

The Archbishop, being a silhouette, had no face to project any anxiety from. However, he did lean back just a bit and his right arm rose to extend over his chest. "... W-Well, I am your right hand. It is my duty to perform at times when you are unavailable. However, at the centre of it all, you are the cornerstone of the entire landmass."

Vert sighed. "I have had a long day. I am retiring to my quarters."

"Of course, my lady."

Yvoire and the Sanctified stood at either side of the door and saluted. Vert walked between the both of them and stopped at the door. Turning her head to the right, she stared at the Archbishop.

Unsurprisingly, he flinched. "... Yes, my lady?"

"Tomorrow afternoon," she began, "we are to have a talk."

No more words were exchanged between them. At that moment, Vert was finished with Yvoire. She opened the doors of her Basilicom and entered without another word.

The Sanctified possibly raised an eyebrow at the Archbishop. "What was that about, sir? Did you get in trouble?"

Yvoire took off his head and scratched his head. "I haven't the foggiest idea..."

* * *

><p><strong>Jacob didn't grab Vert's hand and pull her into the alleyway because he's not the kind of person to grab someone's hand in the heat of the moment.<strong> **And now you know.**

**Yes, I know that was a boring chapter. That was probably my fault. **

**As a growing writer, I like constructive criticism very much. Any faults you can pick out would be much appreciated.**


	32. The Morning After

**I am SO SORRY, my dear readers! I was drowning in university work previously and it kept distracting me from this chapter. Hopefully, the wait will have been worth it! **

**Anyway, review responses:**

**Saturn56: That's exactly right. I first promoted this story on the NIS America forums and the usual yuri-loving backlash ensued. I will forever remember Alura's cries of "There will be no sausages in my flower garden" and I have immortalised his personality in Red. Or taken inspiration from.**

**Eisenfaust: I know. It's been a long while, huh? I wonder how much longer this whole thing is going to take me... Anyway, thanks. Yeah, working with someone who's not listening to you can be exhausting. You'll find out about that last point later.**

**SS7x3: Good to know I'm keeping you all on your toes. And I haven't a clue; there's so much more here than we'll ever know...**

**SVK9: Ah, thank you very much. And so many questions... Oh, how I wish I could join in these discussions from the perspective of a reader and not spoil anything! Rest assured that your concerns will be addressed in due time! Also, if possible, could you break up your review into paragraphs, please? It's a bit hard to read in massive chunks...**

**Guest: Well, that's a very blunt way of asking that. Anyway, as per my usual no spoilers policy, can't tell. Terribly sorry.**

**ALSO, because I should, here are the review responses for the updated first chapter:**

**Saturn56: No, I just wanted to change the first chapter. I don't even have a Vita and I don't really have any cause to get it.**

**SVK9: Really? Huh... Perhaps the problem is in the writing itself? Maybe you didn't like the new voice I had grown into in the two years of the fanfic's writing? What impression did you get from the original first chapter and how did you get it?**

**So here we go. Neptune's state post-antidote and the new Jacob-Red-IF party will be (partly) explored here in...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32: The Morning After<strong>

John was walking through the household at three in the morning. This might have been normal for some people but it was not for him. At three in the morning, John would normally be asleep in his bed. John would not normally be walking up the stairs with a scowl bored so deeply into his face that it could have lead to some ancient treasure. This could possibly explain why he didn't look very pleased at all.

Acting on the instinct of doing something a hundred times before, John brought up his hand to knock on the wall.

_"He's not here."_

John's knuckles didn't make contact. His scowl became more of a general expression of displeasure as he sighed. Still, he was awake for a reason so he traversed the rest of the stairs and opened the door at the top. He saw that the TV in the corner of the room was turned on and someone was sitting on the rocking chair about a metre away with a PS3 controller in their hand.

"Zac, it's..." The father couldn't stop himself from yawning, not that he was awake enough to try, "... one in the morning..."

"Ugh..." Zac removed his right hand from the controller and used it to rub his forehead. "I know... Sorry, I forgot to turn the volume down..."

"Why are you up this early...?" John inquired as he made his way to a beanbag and sat down in it. "And why did you have to turn the PS3 on? Couldn't you read a book or something?"

Zac didn't look away from the TV as he resumed playing the game. "Sorry. Couldn't sleep. I'm up to a bit in this game that I really want to get past."

John shot Zac a flat look, which was an impressive feat given how tired he was. "And you haven't gotten past it at one AM."

"Really wanted to see what happened next."

John sighed but he looked at the TV. "... Hang on, is this Jacob's game?"

Zac nodded.

"Alright then. I guess I'll watch." John shuffled around in the beanbag to get comfortable. "Just turn it down a bit."

"Got it."

While Zac reached for the remote and turned the volume down, John took a closer look at the screen. Facing forward was a young purple-haired girl wearing a white hoodie and she was in a snowy forest. There was one path ahead and another path to the right. "So what's this about?"

"I'm playing as Neptune. I'm trying to find four Key Fragments to save the world from monsters." Zac picked up the controller again and made Neptune run down the right path in what had to be the most stereotypically girly run John had seen to this day. All of a sudden, the screen froze and blurred outward with a sharp sound.

John picked up on Zac's groan. "What happened?"

"It's a fight."

The screen changed to a... 'room' in the snowy forest that was much wider than what Zac walked in before. Some red rooster thing stood on one side while Neptune stood on the other along with a girl with a blue jacket and long brown hair and a girl wearing a white cotton shirt and had long pinkish hair. The purple-haired girl had a sword, the brunette had knives and the girl with pinkish hair had, of all things, a massive syringe.

The screen focused on the brunette, apparently named 'IF' from the box at the bottom of the screen with her face on it. Zac pressed a button and IF dashed towards the rooster that was called 'Bird of Paradise'. However, the dash was very short lived; immediately after IF moved, she was back right in her battle stance again and a red number floated upwards from the Bird of Paradise.

"Wait, what happened?" John asked as the process happened again. "Is the disc skipping?"

"No, I am," Zac answered. "The attacks take too long so I'm skipping them."

"You can do that?"

"Yeah, the attacks take ages and I'm in a hurry."

Ten more seconds passed. A green AP gauge was gradually decreasing on the side of the screen as IF kept dashing and not-dashing and inflicting damage.

"So what else do you do in this game?" asked John.

Zac took a moment to think. "Uh, run around, get items and... that's kind of it, really."

John turned to look at Zac. "Really?"

"Really."

IF had finally defeated the Bird of Paradise. The screen then changed again, showing IF retract her knives and put her hands on her hips. After another screen change, Neptune was running along the path again.

"It looks kind of boring," John commented.

"It kind of is," Zac answered. "Still, I want to know what happens next."

Yawning once more, John stood up and walked to the stairs. "Well, I'm going to bed. Make sure you finish up soon."

"After this dungeon."

Before he walked down, John turned to look at his son one more time. "G'night."

"Good night, Dad," Zac answered without looking away from the TV to see his father descend down the stairs.

* * *

><p>IF awoke in the middle of the night. She held herself back from getting out of bed right away. First, she listened to all the sounds of the room... She could hear Red's soft snoring, the dragon's loud snoring and Jacob's quietness in his sleep while snug in his sleeping bag. Yup; all of her party was asleep and wouldn't mind her leaving for a short bit.<p>

She turned her head to the window. The edge of the moon was touching the top of the forest's tallest tree. Smiling with restrained glee, IF took off her sheets slowly and softly before she lifted her feet out of the bed and onto the floor. She put on her jacket and did up her shoes before, with careful and gentle steps, walking around her bed and past Jacob's sleeping bag on her way to the door.

"_Mmmmph!_"

IF stopped. She looked at Jacob's bag and saw it squirm with constant "_m__mmmph_"s coming from it. The brunette bent down and pulled down the bag and found Jacob bound in rope and his mouth obstructed with a cloth. He continued with his "_m__mmmph_"s while struggling against his restraints to the best of his ability and keeping his wide eyes focused on IF. The Moderatist mouthed a "the hell?" to herself before she took off the cloth gag.

Jacob gasped for air. "That girl is a psycho!" he wheezed.

"Jacob, keep it down," IF whispered. "It's three in the morning."

"I know!" Jacob hissed. "I've been keeping count! It was really boring!"

"How'd you end up like this, anyway?" IF asked as she untied the rope that restrained Jacob's arms and legs.

"Red did it." Jacob stretched and sat up. "Right after you fell asleep, she knocked me out cold after yelling at me about not trusting wifey-snatching aliens or whatever. I woke up like this and I haven't been able to get back to sleep."

"... She yelled? How did I not wake up from that?"

"I was about to ask you."

IF glanced over at Red. The young girl had her back towards the two of them and she remained still as if in sleep. "So... she knows?"

"About what?"

"About you being from another world?"

Jacob grunted as he stood up. "I guess."

"Did you tell her the details?"

"Gagged."

"Ah."

Jacob rolled his shoulders. "I can probably do it now but I don't want her to attack me."

"Just wait until morning," IF suggested. "We'll all be ready by then."

"Alright," Jacob responded. "Where are you going, by the way?"

"Just an early morning walk."

"Oh. Can I come with you? I don't feel slee—"

"_Noooo!_" screamed a flying red blur that tackled Jacob into the wall and created a 'BANG!' loud enough to wake the dead. "I won't let you do your mind wobblies on my wifey!"

"Red! What the hell?" IF shouted without regard for keeping it down.

"Don't let him fool you, Iffy!" Red shouted at IF while she sat on Jacob's back, keeping him down while holding his arms crossed behind him. "He'll get you alone on your walk and then he'll try to suck out your life force!"

"Red, please relinquish me at once before I render you incapacitated for the duration of tomorrow..." Jacob warned with language that was at stark odds with his growling and expression that could melt mountains.

"Red, what are you talking about?" IF asked.

"_SHUT UP!_" cried someone from the next room. "_I've got an appointment at nine o'clock and I'll beat you all to death with your own door if I'm late!_"

Red quickly hopped off Jacob and joined IF in her slight hunch of embarrassment. Jacob didn't use this opportunity to have his revenge as he too was slightly hunching.

IF sighed. "Okay," she whispered. "Why was that necessary?"

"Iffy, boys are evil," Red answered. "He'd take you to a nice stroll in the park, then he'd turn against you and steal your energy, then I'd have to come in and save the day when he transforms into a monster."

"Red, I am not a monster," Jacob asserted.

"Oh _sure_ you're not," Red remarked with a level of sarcasm higher than her eyes rolled up. "Only a monster would say that, you know."

"What about you?" Jacob bent down, scowling.

"I know I'm not a monster so I'm not a monster!" Red crossed her arms.

"Well, _I _know I'm not a monster. What does that make me?"

"A liar with his pants on fire! Soon to be literally!"

The dragon let out what might have been a sigh as it puffed some smoke from its nostrils.

"Okay, look, I've had enough of this," IF cut in without bothering to keep her voice at a whisper. "Ever since yesterday, you two have been fighting pretty much non-stop. This ends now."

"He started it!" Red whined.

"She started it," Jacob complained.

"Please stop it..." IF rubbed her forehead. "I am going for a walk. If you're not asleep, _please_ don't be at each other's throats."

"But—"

"Red, I am really tired right now."

Red groaned. "Fine..."

Jacob simply nodded.

"Good. See you both later." IF walked quickly to the door and saw herself out without looking back.

Jacob exhaled. "Red, there's something I—"

A quick whack to the back of his head from a giant kendama quickly knocked him out. "Not on my watch, bucko," Red declared before dismissing her weapon.

* * *

><p>Once again, IF walked through the forest shining blue in the moonlight. Unlike before, when the atmosphere was about as dead as IF was, it was much more lively despite being just as bereft of activity. The serenity in the air felt drinkable and IF's lungs and throat felt more and more rejuvenated with every step she took. She listened as attentively as she could for the one sound of 5pb's singing.<p>

"Na..." sang the idol from a short distance away.

IF smiled and made her way to the river. As she predicted, 5pb was also there. She wasn't singing any particular rhythm; she was saying "na" at varying pitches, getting steadily higher and steadily lower.

"You should really use this as a backdrop for one of your performances," IF commented as her eyes traced along the river's edge.

"_Ah!_" cried the startled 5pb as she whirled around, her wavelength eyes spiking viciously. When she saw IF, she calmed down almost instantly. "Oh... it's you, Iffy..."

IF's eyes shot open. "I-Iffy?"

"O-Oh!" 5pb's wavelength eyes returned and she took a step back. "So sorry, I was thinking about it and I got a bit too too tootootootoo—"

"Hey, calm down!" IF held up her hands and smiled at 5pb as warmly as she could manage with her surprise. "It's okay! It's okay! I was just... not expecting it."

5pb's heavy panting gradually slowed down, as did the thumping of IF's heart. "Okay... okay..."

"So, uh... yeah, you can call me I-Iffy."

The idol smiled a bit. "T-That's good..."

A cricket chirped.

"So, um, what are you up to?" IF asked.

"Oh, j-just practising my vocals... Not much else." 5pb tapped her fingers together. "Um... h-how are things with your friends...?"

IF flinched. "It's... complicated."

The idol hesitated. IF's reluctance seemed to have latched onto her. "Did... you talk to them?"

IF's mind flickered back to the previous day. She had to admit, Vert alarmed her when she came into her room completely uninvited and brought up the 'incident' the day before. However, when Vert comforted her rather than punished her for it, IF... IF had no words for it. It was simply wonderful. That wonder was then ruined when Jacob entered the room, most likely to pound the crap out of her. It surprised her when he told her he wasn't there for that; Jacob, like Vert, offered her his support and didn't hate her for what happened. He even offered to stay with her and help her out with the fractured party.

IF couldn't help but smile. "Actually, I did. Well, one of them, anyway. He's a nice guy if a bit blunt."

"Oh... how'd that go?"

"Surprisingly well, actually. My other friends... are still a bit on the fence but we're working on that. Hopefully..." IF's smile faded. "Well, I don't really know if we can fix everything. But I guess we're gonna try."

"Well, you're getting somewhere," 5pb commented with a smile. "That's good."

"Thanks."

The conversation lulled into a silence. As IF patiently waited for 5pb to say something, a small breeze blew in the area and it picked up a leaf and carried it to a tree with a small 'crick'.

"Um, 5pb?" IF asked.

"Oh, yes?"

"I'm just curious but what are your friends like?"

5pb's smile fell. She took her eyes away from IF and to the ground.

IF was quick to regret asking her curious question. "Did I say something wrong? I didn't mean to, sorry... um..."

The idol sighed. "I don't actually have any friends... Being an idol, I don't have time to meet any new people..."

Cheeks glowing from embarrassment, IF looked away. "S-Sorry... shouldn't have asked that."

5pb looked back up at the Moderatist and smiled. "B-But I'm happy that things with your friends are going better... I... I think..." The idol quickly turned her head away from the brunette. "I-I consider you my... f-first friend..."

Silence set in again but much more suddenly this time. IF could feel the faint warmth rise to her face and push back the night's cold air that was clinging to it. "Really? I-I'm honoured, 5pb, really. Well, I consider you a friend, too... and I never thought I'd say that to an idol."

Her face was still turned elsewhere but IF could see the corners of her mouth turn up regardless. "Thank you... That makes me happy..."

IF suddenly found herself at a loss for words. The moon's light fell behind 5pb onto the river, creating a sparkling shadow of water for the idol. At that moment, the Moderatist felt a connection to the idol. Perhaps it was the inner fan crying out but IF found herself wanting to get closer to 5pb. She said she was her first friend, they met in the middle of the night at a lake just to talk...

IF made her decision. "Hey, 5pb..."

The idol's eyes returned to meet the Moderatist's. "... Yes?"

IF, remaining as still as she could to not upset the moment, breathed in through her nose and out again. "I was wondering... would you like to join my party?"

The idol's eyes briefly widened. "Wh... Really?"

The brunette rubbed the back of her head. "Well, you don't have to if you don't want to. It's just, we're friends and I'd like to have you come along with us. I'm sure the others wouldn't mind you a—"

"O-Others...?" Just as IF really should have seen coming, wavelengths formed in 5pb's eyes again. Her curled hands moved up to her mouth as she took a step back. "I-I-I'm not g-good with others... M-Meeting new people..."

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry I asked!"

"N-No! I want to, it's just..." The idol lowered her head. "I'm..."

IF smiled. "Hey, it's a bit late for you to meet my party anyway. Maybe we can make some other kind of arrangement?"

5pb lifted her head, looking at IF with curious eyes. "Um... W-What do you have in mind?"

* * *

><p>Quietly, IF opened the door to her room and took the utmost care with her steps as she walked in, closing the door behind her. Red was definitely in her bed and Jacob's sleeping bag was closed and full of a human-sized sleeper, who was most likely Jacob himself.<p>

"Jacob, did everything go alright?" IF asked as she opened up Jacob's sleeping bag.

"Mm hmhm hm," Jacob mumbled through his gag.

IF sighed.

* * *

><p><em>Neptune gasped. She was roughly five metres deep in a hole surrounded by the hardest rock she'd ever seen and felt and she was struggling with all her might to prevent herself from drowning in the syrupy purple water. All she could see that was above the hole was a dark red sky that sent down stinging violet rain onto her face. She fought without pause but none of her endeavours could stop her glacially slow descent into the waters.<em>

_She began to panic. She thrashed and tossed her body every way she could but she only sunk faster. Streams of abnormal gas rose from the liquid and she could feel them enter her ears like __threats of murder __delivered in whispers. Like the water and the rain, the gases were cold, acidic and devoid of any meaning she could take away for herself._

_Suddenly, the sound of footsteps reached her ears. Her struggling began to wane and her descent slowed down. Neptune panted in exertion as she waited for the footsteps to get closer. Finally, at the edge of the hole, a silhouette showed itself. Neptune recognised who it was immediately; the long hair, the jacket and the leaf ribbon could only belong to IF._

_"I-Iffy!" Neptune struggled to call out, extending her hand to her only hope at the same time. "Help me! Please!"_

_IF did not answer. Her gaze did not change. She stood there silently, looking down at the purple-haired CPU with eyes as cold and empty as glass. Without breaking eye contact with the girl below her, IF pulled out of her pocket a black vial with a skull and crossbones printed on it in white. She tossed it into the body of water without a second thought._

_Neptune looked at the water around her. It began to bubble. It began to rise. "Iffy!" Neptune cried. "Wait! Please don't leave me here!"_

_IF did not respond. She continued looking down at Neptune as the water actively began to drag Neptune in. "Iffy! IFFY!" Neptune continued crying, never looking away from the human void that stared at her as the liquid finally dragged Neptune down far enough to cover her mou—_

* * *

><p>"<em>Ah!<em>" Neptune screamed as she shot up from her bed. "Ha... ha... ha..."

"Huh?" Compa grunted as she quickly lifted herself up off Neptune's bed and sat up straight. She blinked several times as her sight adjusted to the gentle orange illumination that the morning cast in the room. She turned her head to the right, still blinking, and faced a sweaty and panting CPU. "Hm... Nep-Nep, you're awake..."

"C-Compa...?" Neptune breathed.

The tired nurse was a bit slow that morning. She brought up her hands to rub her eyes before looking back at who she was talking to. Her eyes began to focus and the blurry shape of a purple-haired girl became clearer...

Compa's eyes shot open.

"_Nep-Nep!_" Compa cheered as she tackled the Neptune fully healed. "You're awake! Y-You're really awake!" As she yelled like the happiest girl on the planet and her arms held her close to the CPU's chest, many tears flowed onto Neptune's pyjama top.

Fatigued but smiling at Compa's affection, Neptune smiled and gave her a tight hug of her own. "Hey, Compa. Did ya miss me?"

"Yes! So much!" Compa released her friend and looked at her with teary eyes. "Nep-Nep, so much happened while you were unconscious! First, the Archbishop kicked us out of our room and tried to arrest us, then we were saved by an Aristocrat, then we got you the antidote and, and, and..." Tears dribbled down the nurse's face as she sobbed. "It was really not fun! I always sat by you every chance I could, Nep-Nep! I missed you so much and everything's going bad..."

"Aw! You're the bestest friend ever!" said Neptune as she captured Compa in another big hug, making the nurse blush. "How long did you wait for me?"

"Ages! Hold on, I'll get the others." Compa quickly shot off the bed and dashed out the door. "Nisa! Gust! Nep-Nep's awake! Nep-Nep's awake!"

"What?!" called back the heroine.

In no time at all, Compa, Nisa, Gust and the dogs flooded into Neptune's room and surrounded her bed from all sides, filling the room with many excited barks. Two of the dogs even jumped high enough to get onto Neptune's bed and... 'lick' her face with their tongue-less snouts.

Grinning, Neptune reached up and patted the toys. "Wow, I feel loved! I wonder if this is what having a harem feels like?"

"I'm so happy, my dear sister!" Nisa lunged forward and caught the CPU in the biggest hug she could give. "Your conscious presence is like the sun's bright rays shining through storm clouds!"

"That's... great... Nisa..." Neptune wheezed. "Please... let go..."

"Oh, sorry." The heroine quickly released Neptune, allowing her the space to get her breath back.

Gust wasn't as enthusiastic as the others. Narrowing her eyes like the observant little character she was, she leaned in. "Neptune, you are very sweaty. Did you have nightmare?"

"Eh?!" Neptune suddenly back jumped.

"Gust, Nep-Nep just woke up," said Compa. "Did you really need to ask that?"

"Patient was poisoned. Post-treatment checkup needed to assess health," the alchemist reasoned.

Relenting, the CPU sighed. "Yeah, I had a bad dream... I don't wanna talk about it..." Suddenly, the CPU noticed an absence in the room. She lifted her head and looked around. "Hey, where's Jacob?"

The three party members flinched and looked away from Neptune. Compa and Gust looked at Nisa, making her sigh quietly before reluctantly turning back to Neptune. "Sister, after you were poisoned, Yvoire and his men barged into the room in an attempt to arrest us. We escaped but you were very ill and we were virtually out of options. We were rescued but Jacob..." The heroine sighed. "He sought to find IF. He succeeded but now... he's staying with her. He's going to try and convince her to rejoin the party. He's not going to be around for a while."

Even the dogs remained quiet.

"Wait, wait..." Neptune's smile faded slowly. "Iffy's gone, too?"

Compa placed a hand on Neptune's shoulder. "It's complicated, Nep-Nep. I'm sorry..."

Neptune lowered her head, refusing to look at anyone. The dogs on the bed whimpered and sat down on either side of the CPU.

Suddenly, Neptune once again felt another absence in the room. She looked at the two dogs on her bed. Feeling more concerned, she looked over the sides of her beds to look at the dogs. "Hey, where's ArfArf? You'd think he'd be here before all of you."

"Ugh..." groaned Nisa as she turned away and her hands went to her head.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Neptune moved towards Nisa, almost getting out of bed. "Is ArfArf okay?"

Compa took a deep breath, preparing herself for the perilous role as the bearer of bad news, and spoke. "Nep-Nep, he's—"

"Ah, she is awake," said Jade as he walked into the room, surprising everyone else already in it. "I have to admit, though, I was expecting a more cheerful atmosphere."

"Well, it was like that for a bit," Neptune claimed. "Anyway, who the hey are you?"

"Nep-Nep, that's Jade. He took us in when you were sick," Compa explained.

"Oh, really? Thanks. I guess." With a sigh, the CPU flopped back on the pillow behind her that released a little 'whump'. A moment after that 'whump', Neptune rocketed up and looked at Jade. "Wait, you're an Aristocrat? So you're like a noble dude?" No longer tired, Neptune looked around her room for the first time. "Does that mean we're in a mansion?"

"... As a matter of fact, yes you are," answered Jade.

Neptune smiled at the Aristocrat. "In that case, can I get a really big breakfast? I'm running low here and I need a good refilling."

"I had a feeling you would say that," Jade muttered. "In any event, I had the servants prepare a large breakfast this morning, both for you to refill your energy and as a celebration for your swift recovery. I trust your party members know how to find the dining hall?"

"Yes," responded Gust in her usual succinct manner.

"Splendid. I shall see you all there, then." Jade then left the room as smoothly as he entered.

The dogs moved out of Neptune's way as she moved to get out of the bed. She rolled her shoulders, causing them to make satisfying crick noises, before she pushed herself off her bed and onto the ground. She took one step forward and immediately stumbled.

"Whoa!" shouted Nisa as she deftly caught the CPU. "Careful, sister!"

Neptune's stomach rumbled. She forced out a chuckle. "Man, I'm really low on juice..."

"And you've been bedridden for ages," added Compa. "Don't worry. Just walk a bit and you'll be back to your old self in no time."

Neptune turned and smiled at the nurse. "Yeah, I'm definitely taking that advice."

"Oh, I've also got your clothes here." Compa laid her disc on Neptune's bed and used both of her hands to take out a pile of the CPU's clothes. "We'll let you be so you can get dressed, okay? We'll be right outside when you're done."

Compa rested the clothing bundle on the mattress and moved to leave the room with Nisa, Gust and the dogs.

"Hey, Compa..." Neptune spoke with such hesitation that made everyone stop, "... where's ArfArf?"

The nurse looked back at Neptune. The CPU looked at her with no frown or sparkles in her eyes or raised eyebrows of curiosity. All Compa could see in Neptune at that moment were fear and concern. She knew something bad befell ArfArf but she didn't want to know what.

Compa and Nisa glanced at each other. After a moment, the nurse nodded at the heroine. Although she didn't want to, Nisa reached into her disc and pulled out ArfArf so delicately as if the slightest movement would break the toy in two.

Neptune stood still. She gazed at her beloved pet mangled so horribly that it was almost unrecognisable. For a moment, she almost refused to believe it was ArfArf. No one could have possibly done this to her dog.

ArfArf's eyes flickered to life. They shined more faintly than before but, when it saw Neptune, every reserve of energy it had rushed to the optics. It lifted its head rather quickly for the neck it had, prompting Nisa to lift it towards Neptune. "Arf..." it barked, attempting to sound excited despite its damaged components. "A-A-Arf..." Its head sunk again and the eyes died. The eyes then came on again and the head lifted to meet Neptune's gaze once more. It didn't bark this time; it merely looked at Neptune.

"A... ArfArf...?" Neptune struggled to say. She reached out so slowly with both hands towards the dog's head. She used the fingertips of her right index and middle fingers to pet the top of ArfArf's head. It let out a quiet whimper of pleasure. "Who... did this...?"

"Yvoire," answered Gust.

Neptune slowly took her hands away. ArfArf, sensing Nisa's intentions, went into sleep mode as the heroine placed it back inside the disc.

Compa looked at Neptune. Her head was hanging, making her eyes hidden behind her purple bangs, and her fists shook at her sides. "N-Nep-Nep?" Compa asked. "Are you okay?"

Neptune released her fists. She stopped gritting her teeth. She didn't raise her head. "... I don't think so."

The dogs whimpered.

Nisa, Gust and Compa looked at each other again. They all looked towards the door and made their way to it, deciding to give Neptune some privacy.

* * *

><p>One getting-dressed and hearty breakfast later, the four girls returned to the common room. As they approached the door, they heard two voices conversing from the other side, one of which belonged to Jade. Confused, the party entered the room and found him talking with another silhouette. This silhouette was very distinguishable by his odd choice in hatwear, a sideways-worn cocked hat with pointed ends. He had a moustache separated into two parts long enough that the ends curled inwards. He had a slightly wide frame although whether that was the fault of his body or a coat was hard to tell. Also, like Jade, he carried a glass in his right hand.<p>

"I am proud of you, Jade. Immensely so," congratulated the other silhouette enthusiastically as he laid a hand on Jade's shoulder. "Saving beautiful little girls from the Basilicom's crutches... it is like looking at a past of myself!"

"Hey, uh, are we interrupting something?" asked Neptune.

"Oh, absolutely not," Jade responded. "We were just waiting for you. Ladies, this is my adoptive father, Sir Turquoise. He is the leader of the Aristocrats."

Compa gave a slight bow to the moustached silhouette. "Nice to meet you, Mister Turkwa."

"The pleasure is all mine, little girl!" Turquoise responded cheerfully, raising his glass into the air.

At that moment, the dogs in the room barked repeatedly as they scurried to the legs of the girls. While Compa, Gust and Nisa got the attention of maybe one or two, every other dog was jumping up and down at Neptune's feet.

"Hey, hey, easy!" Neptune said to the dogs before looking back at Jade. "So you're the pretty boy that helped us out, right?"

The young aristocrat nodded. "That is correct. Your party was carrying you through Leanbox's alleyways and I came across you by chance. I offered your party asylum in my house while we worked to get you a cure for your poison."

Nisa crossed her arms. "Why did you help us?"

"Hm?" Jade and Turquoise looked towards the heroine.

Just in case she felt she wasn't intimidating enough, she narrowed her eyes at the silhouettes. "Neptune's awake now. There's no need to hide anything from us so just tell us now what you want. Why, exactly, would you go so far out of your way to hel—"

_Knock knock knock_

Everyone looked towards the door.

"Oh, uh... come in," invited Jade, confused.

The door opened and Jacob stepped inside. When he saw Neptune, his eyes shone. "Hey, Neptune. You feeling better?"

* * *

><p><strong>Again, sorry for the wait. I really do hope this chapter will sate your appetites for now. Trust me, though; more chapters are on the way.<strong>

**Oh, in case your wondering, "Mm hmhm hm" translates to "Not really, no".**


	33. Lil' More Conversation, Lil' Less Action

**Alright, let's go with the next chapter. Sorry that this took a bit longer than normal; I kept getting distracted. Also, one of my beta readers took a while.**

** Also, even though Thanksgiving isn't celebrated in Australia, I thank all of you who wished me a happy Thanksgiving. I was really touched. :D**

**Now for review responses:**

**Eisenfaust: Or overly paranoid. Yes she is, it might, hope this sates your curiosity, you'll probably find out in thirty years and possibly.**

**Saturn56: They're still waiting.**

**SS7x3: Well... I _have_ written a Halloween fic... but it wasn't for Neptunia. Heh heh heh...**

**SVK9: Hey, no need to apologise! Constructive criticism is most certainly not something to feel guilty over. Thank you very much, SVK. It's a load off my shoulders to read that.**

**On with the chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 33: Lil' More Conversation, Lil' Less Action<strong>

"Jacob!" Neptune cheered as she propelled herself at Jacob's torso and latched on like a laughing grappling hook.

Jacob chuckled and hugged her back. "Happy to see you alive and well."

Once Jacob and the CPU detached from each other, Compa and Nisa also ran up to Jacob with huge smiles accompanied by plenty of excited barking from the dogs. "Jake! I thought you were with IF?" asked the nurse.

"I was but I figured I'd check in on Neptune for a bit, see if she was okay. IF was okay with it and I wanted an excuse to get away anyway."

Nisa raised an eyebrow. "What did you want to get away from?"

"... You don't want to know," the male answered, his smile sinking to dark levels that Nisa decided weren't worth diving to.

"Hey Jacob, if you don't mind me askin'..." Neptune leaned forward to look more closely at the green buttons of Jacob's dress shirt, "... what are you wearing?"

"Not mine," Jacob defended. "My clothes got wrecked and I needed to borrow these."

"You go through more clothes than any girl I know."

"It's not my fault my clothes get damaged so regularly."

Neptune placed her hand under her chin and, in a manner completely unfitting of her boisterous act-now-and-let's-go-eat-instead-of-thinking-later personality, began apprising Jacob's shirt. "Well... I can detect one improvement that shirt has over your usual one."

"... What is that?" Jacob asked after a moment.

"It's thinner," Neptune stated very casually as she reached out and gave his chest a squeeze.

Compa, Nisa and Gust's eyes opened wide. The left eyebrows of Jade and Turquoise might have risen.

"_Neptune!_" Jacob cried, swiping out at Neptune with his arm and missing terribly as she moved to the side.

"I can't help it, Sparky! I've been sleeping for ages and it's been ages!"

"Why does she call him Sparky?" Turquoise asked Jade.

"I do not know. Speaking of your clothes, Jacob," began Jade, "I neglected to mention that they were finished yesterday. My apologies. Would you like to fetch them with me now?"

"Yes please!" Jacob cried out. "The rest of you wouldn't mind?"

"I mind!" Neptune answered.

"I don't care!"

"Well, I have not a problem with it," added Turquoise. "I can only imagine how irritating it is to be away from your own outfit. Although, the fact you do not have a change of clothes already is surprising..."

"It's complicated," sighed Jacob.

"We will just be back in a bit," said Jade as he and Jacob left the room.

* * *

><p>"Ah, it's good to be back in shorts," said Jacob as he reentered the room with Jade minutes later. The white dress shirt and green pants he borrowed had been replaced by the clothes he acquired back in Lastation. Smiling, he pulled on the sides of his black jacket with the white edges and zipper and the "LS" logo on the back. He also wore a black shirt with a white logo of an X inside a square inside a circle inside a triangle as well as a pair of black long shorts. As always, he wore his black sneakers.<p>

"That looks much better on you," Compa commented.

"It feels much better on me, too. Speaking of..." Jacob examined Neptune's attire. "Neptune, I've noticed you're not wearing your shorts."

The CPU pouted and put her fists on her hips. "I don't want to. It's not cold here like it was in Lowee and I like feeling the breeze in between my knees." Neptune stood resolutely and had her best try-and-make-me eyes active.

Jacob sighed. "Fine, whatever."

"How is IF?" Gust inquired.

"Oh, she's fine," Jacob aptly answered. "She's just a bit nervous by the whole thing. Don't worry, we're working on it."

"A bit nervous," Nisa repeated while she gave him a very judgemental stare.

"Sensei, not every person who does something wrong is evil. Sometimes, they're just good people that make mistakes that they will then obsess and despair over for ages and ages."

Nisa's stare softened.

"If I may?" Jade loudly asked. "Jacob, this is my adoptive father Turquoise. We were just having a discussion. Would you like to join us?"

Jacob shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"Splendid," said the older Aristocrat. "Now, Nisa, you asked why we lent you our aid. Before we explain, however, I believe we should fill in dear Neptune on the details due to her slumber over the past few days." Turquoise cleared his throat. "Ten years ago, Leanbox was embroiled in a great war. The Basilicom Schism. The Parliament's revolution. At the time, the Parliament gathered heretics to raid the Basilicoms in an effort to gain complete control."

"Wait, Basilicom_s_? I thought Leanbox only had one?" Jacob asked.

"What? Did I say Basilicoms? Terribly sorry! I meant to just say Basilicom! Jade used to live in Lowee once. When he came back to live with us again, he would not stop singing the praises of Lowee's multiple Basilicoms and its Central Basilicom." Turquoise laughed. "It seems the idea is contagious!"

Jade placed a hand on his forehead. "Sir, please continue."

"Right, of course. Anyway, with the Sanctuary's aid, us Aristocrats succeeded in defeating them. They escaped but our goddess gave us honour!"

"Wait, wasn't this the Purge?" asked Compa.

"Hold on, what purge?" Turquoise faced Compa. "What is this about a purge?"

"We told that, ten years ago, heretics purged from Leanbox," Gust answered.

"That's absurd!" responded the Aristocrat's leader. "It is true that we fought the heretics but the Parliament was using them to usurp the Basilicom. What we did was merely self-defence. To call it a purge is slanderous!"

Jacob and Gust glanced at each other.

"The current Archbishop wants to hide that a revolution happened," continued Jade. "To that end, he destroyed the records and prohibited the publication of any information pertaining to it. Not only that, he also tried to take Turquoise's honour away."

Neptune tilted her head. "So what was that about you helping us? Nisa said you helped us for a reason?"

"Indeed we did." Turquoise turned around and walked to the window. He gazed out into the outdoors graced by the morning while everyone else was staring at him and waiting for him to get on with it. "The Aristocrats and the Sanctuary have battled for a long time but now they have brought harm to you. However, you have managed to fight them off. Therefore..."

Turquoise then quickly span around and pointed at the group. "... I want you to be our sexy mascot allies!"

"... What?" said Jacob, Neptune, Compa and Gust at the same time.

"_What?_" Nisa said a bit more roughly.

"Sir Turquoise, I must advise against this," Jade spoke up. "To involve outsiders in a conflict that does not concern them would go against the teachings of the Aristocrats."

"What are you saying, Jade?" Turquoise responded, incredulous. "They have been hurt by the Basilicom just like us! Furthermore, these beautiful girls are not only brave to challenge a dungeon for the sake of their poisoned friend but also powerful enough to defeat the monsters within!"

Jacob raised a hand. "Excuse me, where do I fit into all this sexy mascot business?"

"What do you mean?" asked the older Aristocrat. "Do you mean to say you don't fancy yourself as sexy mascot ally material? Do not sell yourself so short! There is an audience for everything in this world and I am certain you will be fine."

"Thanks, I guess, but—"

"_I REFUSE!_"

Jacob winced at the loud noise. After giving his ears a brief rub, he recognised the sound as a shout from Nisa. Nisa was absolutely seething as she glared at both Jade and Turquoise, who were rather rattled themselves. "There is no chance in hell that I am helping you wage war against the Basilicom!" the heroine declared.

"I-I have to agree..." Compa meekly added. "We can't fight other humans."

"Wait a tick, we've beaten people up before, haven't we?" asked Neptune.

"_They_ attacked first," growled Nisa. "We fought back to _defend_ ourselves. We _never_ pick fights with the Basilicom."

"Sir Turquoise, I already said to them that I only helped them for the sake of altruism," Jade argued once more. "They have nothing to owe us. Please let us simply drop the matter.

The adoptive father 'hmm...'ed to himself. "... Very well, then. What if I asked you to help us in defeating monsters? While you are still helping us, it will be in a less direct, less sexy mascot way."

"_Are you deaf?!_" Nisa roared. "I will not help you! Not now, not ever! I am thankful you saved Neptune but I refuse help those who would assault the Basilicom!"

"Nisa, h-hold on a second!" Compa hastily approached the heroine. "I know the Aristocrats are fighting the Basilicom but this isn't really about that now. This is just a regular mission to clear out monsters from a dungeon. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?" The nurse finished with a smile. It was a kind and soft smile that one would wear when nothing was wrong.

"We're still supporting them!" Nisa protested. "We're still helping a group of outlaws in their anarchy! I am Gamindustri's defender of justice!"

"I don't see what that has to do with it," Jacob commented. "If anything, that means you should help out the Aristocrats more. The Basilicom's clearly in the wrong this time and they need to be taken down a peg or two."

Nisa snapped her head towards Jacob. He found it hard to keep looking at her; she was about to burst from rage but she was barely managing to hold herself together. She glared with fierce eyes that drilled right into him for what felt like minutes. Ultimately, she turned away. Not looking at anyone, her shoulders slumped and she spoke with no rage or passion. "Look, if you want to help them, I will not stop you... but I cannot support you, either." With those words spoken, the tired heroine made her way to the door.

Compa was the first to stop being surprised by the situation. "Nisa, wait!" she called.

"I am not an anarchist." Nisa reached the door and pulled it open. "I'm sorry."

Jacob held her back with a grip on her shoulder. "Can I talk to you? Please?"

His grip wasn't that strong. In truth, Jacob was just as tired as she was. She could leave with just a shrug. Instead, she stopped. She turned to him. "... What?"

He moved his hand away. She still didn't leave. "I know it's confusing as hell. IF's gone off on her own, Neptune's been poisoned by a corrupt Basilicom... What I wouldn't give to go back to simpler times where the most we had to worry about were having less random encounters as we cleared dungeons. But we're kind of stuck here now and we need to make the most of it, however that's going to go."

"Jacob, our mission is to save the world. We're fighting an organisation whose job is to do just that." Nisa's gaze fell to the ground again. "We're not supposed to be criminals..."

The male sighed. "You fought the CPUs with us, right? It was because they were unjust, weren't they?"

Nisa's head snapped up and greeted him with sharp eyes. They softened again afterwards. She nodded.

"Look, authority isn't necessarily justice. Likewise, acting outside the law doesn't necessarily make you the villain. Justice — our own justice, mind — lives within us. That's why both rebels and upholders of the law exist. Everyone sees justice differently but the laws are in place because not everyone can be trusted to act in a moral manner that benefits others." So slowly, like Nisa was a glass sculpture, Jacob placed a hand on her shoulder. "Sensei, you're the only person in this world that I trust to do the right thing."

"... Really?"

"Yeah, of course." Jacob took his hands off her shoulders and crossed his arms, wearing a proud grin at the same time. "You always fight for what you believe in, you don't give up and you help the helpless. You also actually go out to look for anyone in trouble. You're an active hero regardless of what the law says." Jacob dropped the grin, looking more serious. "There's no way to cut it nicely but the Basilicom is corrupt. It's their job to look out for their people and protect them. However, they're actively hunting the people of Leanbox for their own reasons. They're supposed to protect their lifestyles but they're sacrificing them for their own gain. Worse still, they're hiding behind the law to get away with it."

Nisa looked to the floor again. She exhaled through her nose. However, her hands were beginning to tighten into fists.

Jacob continued. "Sensei, villains aren't always villains and heroes aren't always heroes. Basilicoms aren't normally in the wrong but this one is. What do you think?"

The heroine looked to the door. Jacob made no comment nor did he ready himself to intercept Nisa if she walked out. No one else dared to move or speak, either. "My student," she began, "I travel to fight evil so I don't really have a place to call my own but... I think I now know how you feel when you say you want to go home."

Jacob peeked at the door as well. "Things were a lot less complicated before, weren't they?"

With a slight 'mhm', Nisa nodded.

Compa tapped her fingers together. No one was saying anything. "Um, is there anything else you need?"

"No, I'm... okay, I guess." Nisa walked back to the group. As she rubbed her arm, she decided to chuckle. "I'm sorry about that. I wasn't thinking clearly."

Compa let out a relieved breath. "Thank goodness. You had me worried for a bit, there."

"Something went well. Surprised," remarked Gust.

"Yay!" Neptune ran up to Nisa and caught her in a hug. "Now don't you ever dare to do that again!"

Smiling, the heroine patted the back of her 'sister'. "I will try not to."

"Well, this is a positive turn of events," Turquoise commented, possibly smiling a bit. "Anyway, if you are all assured now, I would like to take you to the dungeon."

"Sure," answered the CPU.

"Actually, I was just here to check on Neptune," responded Jacob. "I'll be heading back to IF now."

"Ah, what a shame," Turquoise answered. "Oh well. It was a pleasure to meet you, Jacob."

"Likewise, Sir Turquoise. I hope we meet each other again."

"Bye, Jacob!" chorused Nisa, Compa and Gust.

"Make sure you get Iffy back here in one piece, okey-dokey?" Although it was a question, Neptune said it as an order. "If anyone can talk her ear off into rejoining the party, it's you!"

Jacob chuckled. "I will, don't worry. I'm on a roll lately and I'm feeling lucky."

* * *

><p>Jacob enjoyed the morning breeze as he walked down the road. The dress shirt he wore before was hardly sufficient to keep him from shivering when a sudden breeze picked up but, with his clothes that weren't as thin as tissue paper and his jacket, the breeze didn't agitate him anymore.<p>

As he went to turn the corner, he saw a girl with blue hair and black clothes walking down the road he just turned into. He was surprised to see a non-silhouette but he decided not to say anything. He just kept walking down the road, slightly behind the girl. The girl's head shifted slightly. She was going to see who was behind her but stopped herself. She was possibly nervous. Jacob slowed down a bit to put some distance between them. Didn't stop him from feeling a bit awkward but he was turning left up ahead and chances are she wasn't.

She did. Now Jacob was walking behind her again, much to his chagrin and most likely hers as well. She didn't bother beginning to look behind her that time; she just picked up her pace. He was going to turn into the right street and rolled his eyes when the girl did so before him. Fortunately, he wouldn't have to put up with this for much longer.

Rounding the corner, he saw IF and Red at a table outside of a café. The table was round and white and it had four chairs around it. IF was focused on her phone while she propped her head up on her fist and Red supported her chin with both hands as she swung her feet back and forth.

The blue-haired girl had come to a complete standstill. Jacob walked towards Red and IF with quick steps, passing the girl even though he didn't want to make the tension worse. He just wanted to get over to his party and get this over with. "Hey," he greeted them.

IF looked up from her phone. Her face was as stoic as usual, most likely tired from waiting. "Oh, hey Jacob. You're earl..." IF stopped in the middle of her question. Something behind Jacob caught her attention. "5pb?"

"What?" said Red as she and Jacob turned around to look at the blue-haired girl.

"Ah!" she squeaked as her curled hands shot up to her cheeks and, somehow, a white soundwave line ran horizontally across her shaking irises.

"What's up with her eyes?" Jacob asked.

"Hey, it's you!" Red called.

"Wh— _AH!_" 5pb screamed.

"Wait, you know each other?!" IF shouted at Red.

"Sure do!" Red nodded fervently. "We met each other at a lake under a full moon. It was so cool! She ran away, though."

5pb was stepping back, preparing to run away again.

"Hey, hey, hold on!" IF stood up and, wearing a smile, approached the girl. "Hi, 5pb. Thanks for coming."

The nervous idol nodded. "I g-got your message... I-Is this your p-party...?"

"Yeah." The brunette turned to Jacob and Red. "Jacob, Red, this is 5pb. 5pb, this is Jacob and Red. Sorry for the scare."

"Wait, 5pb the idol?" Jacob asked. "The one on the radio you listen to? She's joining our party? She can fight?"

"Hey, you're being rude," Red chastised the male. "You're supposed to say 'hi'!" Adopting a more pleasant and cheerful expression, the red-headed girl looked at the idol, who had taken to stepping so that IF got slightly between her and Jacob and Red. "Hey-o! I'm Red, the Royal Emperor Dragon! It's good to meet ya!"

The idol nodded slightly.

"Right, well, I'm Jacob." Jacob rubbed the back of his neck and grinned. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"N... Nice t-to..." 5pb gulped, "... m-meet you..."

"Anyway, yes, she's that idol," IF added. "We met a few days ago and we arranged to meet here so I could introduce her to you. Also, we could all have breakfast together and get to know each other."

"Cool!" cheered Red. "It's great to have more people in a party. And she's an idol, too!"

"Well, this sounds like a good idea," said Jacob. "Any chance you're shouting us, IF?"

"No."

"Curses."

* * *

><p>The minutes came and went and the quartet were seated with their empty dishes piled in the middle of the table.<p>

Jacob groaned as he leaned back. "That was nice..."

"I'm surprised you got pancakes," commented the brunette. "Not that they're bad but... aren't you getting sick of them by now?"

"Gods, no. Pancakes are delicious."

"Fine." IF faced 5pb and Red. "Anyway, I should tell you both about Jacob and I. We were part of a larger party but we split for reasons I don't want to talk about. In this bigger party, we were travelling the four landmasses to get a Key Fragment from each of them to save the world."

"Wow..." breathed 5pb. "I had no idea you were a part of something so big."

"There's more. Our team leader, Neptune, is the CPU of Planeptune, Purple Heart."

5pb recoiled with a "What?!" so fast that her chair nearly fell back. She scrambled to get a grip on the table's edge and pull herself and her balance to safety again.

"Whoa, wait, what?!" Red stammered. "You were walking around Gamindustri with a goddess?!"

"Yup. That's an excellent summary," Jacob answered dryly. "So our travels took us—"

"Hold it!" Red glared at Jacob. "Okay, there's a CPU in your party but why is an alien also in the party?"

"Huh? A-An alien?" 5pb stammered as she stared at the male.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm actually from another world. Neptune fell into my world and we went back to Gamindustri. That's pretty much all there is to it."

Red narrowed her gaze. "Alrighty then. What does your world have to do with ours?"

"I wish I knew. It might actually help us." Jacob sighed. "So our travels took us here. The Basilicom's Archbishop poisoned Neptune and she was rescued by the Aristocrats who don't like the Basilicom. As it turns out, ten years ago, the Parliament got a bunch of heretics in order to take over Leanbox somehow but the Sanctuary fought back using the Aristocrats and pushed the heretics out of Leanbox but the Sanctuary didn't want to admit that for some reason and wiped all records of it ever happening and I've lost track of who the bad guy is."

"Well, that definitely cleared things up," IF remarked. "As usual, we don't know where the Key Fragment is so we're passing the time helping the landmass until something pops up. Jacob, do you have any idea what we should do next?"

"Absolutely not."

"And what's the reason this time?"

"Vert already knows what's going on and chances are she's going to grill Yvoire over it if she hasn't already. The animosity between the Aristocrats and the Sanctuary is a problem but I have no idea what to do about that. I suppose we'll just have to wait until something pops up."

"There's nothing you can do?" asked 5pb. "Can't we talk to the goddess?"

"She doesn't like the Aristocrats that much. They're opposing the Basilicom so that's understandable."

"Wait a tic! They're opposing the Basilicom!" Red shouted. "Doesn't that make them the bad guys?"

"Normally, yes. However, Yvoire poisoned Neptune and I don't care about him. Let him get kicked out. Hell, I'd help get him fired but I wouldn't know where to start."

IF kept looking at Jacob. After several seconds, she used her arms to support her head as she looked at him.

"... What?" Jacob asked.

"I was just thinking..."

Jacob waited. "Yes...?"

"Well... what if we tied you to a pole—"

Red gasped and beamed.

"— and held you up so that you could direct us to the plot? Like a dowsing rod?"

There were no NPC silhouettes around so the area was quiet by default. Yet, somehow, the area got even quieter.

Jacob shook his head. "I'm sorry... what?"

"You remember that time when Yvoire came around and offered Neptune the invitation to go to the Basilicom's party and you could sense the plot? I think we should try that again," the Moderatist explained.

Jacob waited a moment for whatever punchline he expected. "... I can't sense plot."

"... But you said you could," argued IF, looking less sure of herself.

"I could hear footsteps in the hallway and I was immensely bored. I thought it would be funny."

"I say we tie him up anyway," suggested Red.

"How about no?"

"Why do you like tying people up so much...?" 5pb asked quietly.

"Hear me out!" As Red got everyone's attention, the dragon on her shoulder opened its eyes. It saw the party and closed them again. "What if we tied up Jacob to a stick and stuck him in the ground in the middle of a dungeon?"

"That's even less productive," Jacob countered.

"You're a party member that can't move and you're in danger. If a villain's gonna attack, it'll be then. Then we can nab 'em and make them spill the beans!"

IF let out a sigh. "That would only work if the villain was actually out to get you. That's not happening now."

"I also think it's a bit excessive..." added the quiet singer. "And I'm sure there are other ways."

Pouting, the red-haired girl crossed her arms. "This is a boring way to start our adventure."

"Hey, don't worry," reassured IF, smiling to add to the effect. "We've been at this for a while. Trust me, it'll pick up."

Red turned to her wifey and smiled back. Without warning, she surprised everyone by leaping forward and catching IF in a hug. "It doesn't matter to me! I'm travelling with my wifey and that's all I need to know."

Despite her nature and Red's close proximity, IF kept smiling at the girl, even if it looked a little unnatural. "Thanks but could you let go, please?"

Jacob raised an eyebrow at the brunette.

The brunette noticed. "... What?" she asked as she looked at Jacob with an unsavoury expression and Red pulled away.

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "Nothing. Anyway, there is something we can do to pass the time."

"What's that?" inquired the idol.

"Nngh..." Jacob laced his fingers together and pushed up to stretch."Sorry. How about we go to a dungeon? We should learn how you fight and all this talk is criminally boring. I mean, it's all we've done for the past few days. Just talk and talk and talk. I haven't had a good fight for ages and I'm bored as hell."

IF turned at the two newcomers to the party. "Sounds good to me. What do you two think?"

"I suppose I could use the experience..." responded 5pb.

"Same here. It's always good to go dungeon crawling once in a while," added Red.

"Alrighty then." Jacob glanced at IF. "You know any missions we can do?"

"Let me check." IF opened up her phone and began reading.

* * *

><p>Neptune, Nisa, Compa and Gust arrived with Turquoise at the dungeon. It was another snowy forest that was completely covered in white. It was rather odd for a green and sunny landmass like Leanbox but no one was in the mood to comment on it.<p>

"This is a very old trading route," commenced the Aristocrat. "Ever since a new route was constructed, this one was abandoned, leaving monsters free to live within it."

"Why is a floating island a trading route?" asked Neptune.

"I could tell you but I would hate to give away the secrets of Aristocracy." Turquoise chuckled. "As we intend to hit the unsexy Basilicom with an armed revolt, we need plenty of weapons. They will be delivered on this route as the Basilicom is not watching it. Your task is to eliminate the monsters on this route."

"Won't the monsters just respawn?" Compa asked.

"Not if you kill the boss at the end of the dungeon. Is there anything else?"

"Yes," said Nisa as her arms were crossed. "You never told us you were leading an armed revolt."

The Aristocrat sighed. "Well, how else could we liberate the landmass from the tyranny of the current Sanctuary?"

"Diplomacy, perhaps? Laws? Are you not politicians as well?"

"We are. Can we handle the Basilicom, though? Within the laws they set for us? No. They have all the power and we cannot touch them. If we wish to make ourselves heard, this is the only way."

Nisa's fists were clenched at her sides.

Seeing this, Turquoise hesitated. "... You do not need to clear this dungeon if you wish."

"We will," answered Gust. She wasn't particularly flustered by the astonished stares of her teammates. "However, with new information, we ask for higher reward."

A small sigh escaped the Aristocrat. He reached up and tugged on the edge of his hat. "Very well. I will give you a hundred and fifty percent of your sexy reward."

"Wha— A hundred and fifty?!" Compa shouted. "Bu-Bu-Bu..."

"That... more than Gust expected..." muttered the alchemist, surprisingly stunned herself.

"It is only fair, after all! You have been nearly assassinated by the Basilicom, your party has been divided and you are taking a job that you would prefer not to! I feel it necessary to compensate for all this. I hope this extension makes up for the trials you have experienced."

"It will! Thank you!" Gust answered, gazing at Turquoise with wide, unblinking, twinkling eyes.

"If there is nothing else, I will leave you to it. Find me when you're done for your reward." Turquoise tipped his hat. "Godspeed, girls," he blessed before walking towards the cable car.

Nisa turned to Neptune. "Sister, I have a terrible feeling about this."

Compa gave the pessimistic heroine a warm smile. "Don't worry, Nisa. After this dungeon, we don't need to help them anymore."

Nisa looked to the snow-covered ground. She looked at the palm of her right hand. Her face tightening, she formed a fist with her hand. "We should look into this," she said to Neptune.

Neptune nodded. "Totally."

"Dungeon first!" said Gust as she and Compa began making their way through the snow that didn't blanket the ground so much as it quilted it.

The four girls dragged their legs through the layers of cold white for what felt like minutes before they reached the cliff. They couldn't be more eager as they rushed to it and slid down the slope to the dungeon's corridor. On either side of the path were snowmen and trees with their coloured lights, like the party was walking along a red carpet between two crowds. The dungeon was hardly luxurious enough to be like an award ceremony but, given all the recent events, it was a nice break.

Smirking, Nisa tugged her gloves on tighter. "It really has been a while, hasn't it?"

"Yes," answered Compa as a small group of purple flowers caught her eye. "I'm looking forward to taking out a few monsters, actually. I'm feeling a bit stressed."

"Whoa, Compa's developing a violent streak! Make sure not to transform into a demon while we're around." Neptune reached into her hammerspace for her mech sword. She grinned as she felt the metallic surface of Armas' grip and pulled it out. Holding the sword in front of her, she extended its purple energy blade.

"You're not going to use Neptune Break and steal all the kills, are you?" Nisa asked.

Neptune deactivated the blade and twirled it so that she held it in a reverse grip. Another twirl brought it back to being held like normal. "Nah. All of us really need to get some monster mashing done."

The party stopped walking forward as two monsters appeared. One of them was a blue wolf, a smaller version of the Blue Shadow that the party fought very early on in their quest. The other was a massive orange bee.

The CPU bounced back and forth as she held herself back from attacking. "You ready, Nisa?"

"Readiness runs through the blood of a heroine!" Nisa pulled out her sword with a guard shaped like a penguin's head and a blade of bright yellow energy. With great force that blasted some of the snow back, Nisa leapt towards the Fenrir with her weapon held above her head. "Hiiiiii..."

* * *

><p>"<em>...YAH!<em>" called IF as her hidden blades slashed right through a Fenrir that she was battled. The creature dispersed into data and, with a shake of her arms, the blades retracted back into their vambraces.

"Nice work," complimented Jacob.

"Whoa! You pack a punch!" cheered Red.

"It was nothing." IF rubbed her wrist as the party moved on. The mission that they had undertaken took them to another castle. Again, it was mostly empty and sparsely decorated. "So that's how we fight without the turn mechanics. You get it?"

"Yup!" chirped Red. "I could master this in a jiffy!"

"It's a bit odd but I'll manage," answered 5pb.

"Good. Let's keep moving. Jacob, for the record, I will hit you if you scream at any more stairs."

"Bring it on." Jacob walked with his hands in his jacket pockets, looking up to the roof out of boredom. "I'll kick your backside again."

"Oh no you don't!" Red pretty much teleported in front of Jacob and spread her arms out wide. "No one beats up my wifey!"

"Fine," answered Jacob as he walked around the red-headed girl.

The party turned down a corner and two more monsters appeared; a Bird of Paradise and a massive orange bee.

"Jacob, don't!" shouted IF as she held the pale boy's arms at his side, using all her might to keep him from throwing them up at the insect and reducing it to a fine powder. "I know Killer Bees make you nervous but let the others have a go once in a while."

"Pleasedon'tholdmestillwhileabee'srightthere!" pleaded Jacob.

IF moved her hand up to his shoulder. "Calm down. A bee won't attack you unless you attack it. I'll handle the bee, you handle the bird. Got it?"

IF could feel Jacob's chest expand as he breathed in deeply through his nose. He held it for a second before letting it out through his mouth. "Okay. That's a good plan. Thanks."

"Don't mention it." IF walked to stand opposite the Killer Bee and, with a flick of her wrists, extended her hidden blades.

Jacob walked to stand beside 5pb and Red opposite the red flightless bird. "Hey 5pb, why don't you show me what you can do?"

"Okay." The idol reached to her side and pulled out a grey electric guitar with a black fretboard from where Jacob guessed her disc was. Jacob wasn't surprised at the odd choice for a weapon; she was an idol, after all, so it fit with the theme. Plus, Red used yo-yos and frisbees while Compa used an impractically oversized syringe that shot bullets. A green three-by-three grid was in a white circle that was underneath the bridge. The guitar's body had a curved side that faced 5pb's exposed stomach and a flat side opposite to it. It was like a very narrow hammerhead if the claws were bent down the length and one with the body.

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "So you're like a magic idol or something?"

"Oh no, not magic. I have a relative who's into magic and science. She made me this guitar." The idol smiled fondly at her guitar. Her fingers were twitching near the pickups, excited to play. "It's odd for a guitar to be a weapon, isn't it?"

"I've seen weirder." Jacob peeked at Red. She wasn't holding anything and her dragon couldn't look less interested in the current events but he knew she could pull out a variety of items whenever she needed them.

5pb looked at the red-headed girl as well. "Um, excuse me? Is... Is that a real dragon?"

"Hm?" Red grinned. "Oh, he sure is!" The girl raised her right shoulder a bit, lifting the dragon in turn. Finally, the golden reptile seemed awake enough to maintain eye contact with the idol. "Hey, you lazy tapeworm. Say g'day."

The dragon blinked once. It let out a small puff of breath through its nose.

Red didn't let this get to her. Still smiling, she lowered her shoulder as well as her dragon. "Sorry about that. His get up and go got up and went the day he was born."

Jacob turned his focus back to 5pb again. "So what can your guitar do?"

The idol, unexpectedly, smiled. It wasn't her usual small social smile; she was confident. "Let me show you."

Now Jacob remembered where he heard that voice before. He knew she was the same 5pb from the radio station that IF liked but he couldn't connect her meek persona to that radio identity at all. That was different now. The idol was much taller than IF and now she actually stood like it against the monster.

One swift strum her her guitar sent out four orbs of cackling blue electricity that flew towards the Bird of Paradise like stars of lightning while the electricity raged on 5pb's instrument and across her hand, although she paid it no mind. The Bird of Paradise was surrounded by the lightning orbs, squawking in pain as the static electricity alone harmed it.

Jacob whistled. "That's awesome!"

"I can do more!" 5pb played her guitar very quickly. The electricity grew on the guitar again but also around her. As she strummed, the electricity around her became more and more intense until, with a final strum, a large ball of lightning was launched towards the red monster. When the sphere of blue plasma reached the monster, it expanded even more and the electricity generated by both the sphere and 5pb's guitar thrashed more and more as the Bird cried louder and louder. Finally, the electricity of both the ball and the area around 5pb dispersed, reducing the Bird of Paradise to mere particles and leaving the idol no worse for wear.

"Okay, now _that_ was incredible." Jacob ran a hand up the back of his head. "Is there anything else you..." Jacob stopped his hand. It went through his hair but his hair felt wrong. "What the...?"

"Jacob, what's wr—" IF stopped as she turned around and saw Jacob. Her pupils actually dilated as she was thunderstruck by what she saw. Ill-prepared for such a sight, her hands reflexively shot up to cover her mouth to stifle her sniggering. Her sniggering soon evolved to uncontrolled laughter that made her bend over and hold her stomach.

Red didn't even bother trying to hold her laughter back. Her laughing collapsed her, reducing her to holding her aching stomach with one arm to at least give the sensation of relieving it and pointing at Jacob with the other. "You... your hair... _what?!_"

"Is something wrong?" asked 5pb before she rotated to look at Jacob. Immediately, her eyes had spiking lines running across them again. "Uh-Uh... Uh... J-Jacob...?"

Jacob sighed as he held his hair in his hands. "Just great. My hair's... Sorry, my _hairs_ are straighter than rulers now." Standing near 5pb while electricity surged all around her must have been a bad idea because Jacob's hairs were now standing on end. His hairstyle now resembled a significant portion of a perfect sphere.

"S-Sorry..." 5pb apologised as she focused elsewhere to give him some dignity. Her eyes returned to normal.

"You look so s-s...stupid!" Red croaked out before banging her fist on the carpet while she laughed into the fabric.

"C-Come on, leave him alone..." IF struggled to say through her mirth. After a few more moments, she managed to gain control of herself and rubbed a tear away from her eye. "Is everyone okay...?" she panted.

"Yes," answered the unamused Jacob.

"Y-Yes," answered the idol, still sparing Jacob by keeping her gaze away from him.

Red snorted. "Yes!"

IF breathed in and out again. "Good. Let's go."

"Hey, Red?" began Jacob. "Why don't you scout ahead for treasures and the boss? I think you need to be away from me for a bit."

"S... Sure thing...!" Red quickly ran on ahead before she snorted again.

Letting out a breath of relief, Jacob walked up to IF. "Can I ask you something?"

"That hair is not attractive," she responded without looking at him. "We need to fix it."

"I agree but my question is more personal. Have you noticed that Red acts a lot like Neptune?"

IF lost the jocular calm that surrounded her. She glanced at Jacob again with stoic seriousness. She then cracked a smile as she saw his hair again, making Jacob roll his eyes. "Yeah, she does. They're even almost the same height. So what?"

"I always assumed you didn't like Neptune because of her personality. Why exactly, do you tolerate Red's antics and show disdain for Neptune's?"

The smile disappeared. The unnerved Moderatist faced forward again, looking away from Jacob and watching Red check down each corridor before moving onto the next one. "... It's not about the personality."

"Then what is it? Does it have anything to do with the poison?" Jacob pressed.

"Jacob." The two of them stopped. They faced each other fully now as IF stared at Jacob with absolutely no remaining humour. Her expression softened. "I can't take you seriously if you have an afro."

"Are you kidding me?" Jacob snapped. "Fine. Let's just kill the boss and get out of here."

* * *

><p>Neptune and Nisa, the former in her Hard Drive Divinity state, entered the Aristocrat mansion's common room. Jade sat at the table reading a book with a wine glass on the side.<p>

"My apologies for Sir Turquoise's request," apologised the Aristocrat without looking up. "I hope the dungeon was not troubling for you or your comrades?"

"It was not," answered Purple Heart. "We conquered the dungeon very easily. It was rather boring, to be honest."

Hearing that unfamiliar voice, Jade stopped reading and looked towards the heroine and the CPU. His eyes were fixed on the older-looking female who appeared to be friends with Nisa. "Is this a new friend of yours, Nisa?"

The heroine shook her head. "No, this is Neptune. She transformed."

Jade might have blinked. "Trans..."

"It's complicated! She's special!" Nisa cut in.

"I... see." Jade took another sip of wine. "Where are the other two?"

"Resting," responded Purple Heart. "We need to talk. I heard that you are going to transport weapons with that trading route."

"Oh? Are you interested?" asked Jade as he stood up. "Unfortunately, I can't say much... Would you excuse me for a moment?"

Jade exited the room, leaving Purple Heart and Nisa in the room alone and slightly confused.

Purple Heart attempted to sit down in one of the seats but her wings kept getting in her way so she remained standing. "What do you believe he's up to?"

"I wish I knew," answered the heroine.

The Aristocrat returned carrying, to the shock of the two girls, an assault rifle. It was far beyond Leanbox's technology with a rather boxy and rigid shape complete with select fire, a holographic sight and even a laser pointer. "This was developed by Avenir, Lastation's leading company in weapons. It outclasses anything that Leanbox manufactures."

"Avenir?" Purple Heart repeated. "You have them developing your weapons?"

"In a way." Jade placed the firearm on the table. "Avenir is more inclined to develop robots rather than conventional weapons. However, I have a friend working for them. She develops weapons suitable for human use and sends them to us, for which I am grateful."

"Hold on!" shouted Nisa. "The Basilicoms forbade trading between the landmasses!"

"That is true. However, I have my ways."

Purple Heart's hand tightened into a fist. "What are you playing at, Jade? Violating the laws of the land like you are... Is this all a game to you?"

Even though Jade was a silhouette, Purple Heart could tell that she was locked in an intense gaze with him. "I see you are more aggressive in that form," he noted as he picked up the weapon. "Well, let it be known that this is not at all a 'game' to me. This is a matter of the highest importance and I will see it through, whether or not you involve yourself in it further. I will open the Basilicom's eyes, no matter what it takes..." With the weapon in his arms, Jade walked out of the room again.

"We need to tell Jacob," said Nisa.

"Absolutely," agreed the CPU. "He and Iffy will know what to do."

The heroine crossed her arms, gazing at where the rifle sat on the table. "Open the Basilicom's eyes... I wish I knew what that meant."

* * *

><p>Vert and Yvoire stood opposite each other in the Basilicom's glass room. Yvoire had his hands at his sides and stood upright and still like a post. Vert's arms were crossed, fitting her cross attitude at the moment as she gazed at the Archbishop not too kindly at all.<p>

"Archbishop Yvoire, do you know why I called you here?" she asked him.

"I do not, my lady," answered Yvoire without budging even slightly.

Vert's glare only became sharper. "Several days ago, you organised a banquet in my honour held at this Basilicom. I understand one of the guests was a girl by the name of Neptune, who brought her adventuring party with her. Is this correct?"

"It is."

"Very well. Now, days later, I was told that Neptune was poisoned. Did you know about that?"

Still though he was, Yvoire tensed. "... I did not, my lady."

"Then why have I been told that, on the night of the party, _you_ took one of her party members outside and asked her to poison Neptune? Saying that such was _my_ wish?"

"What?" Yvoire blurted, losing his composure. "Who told you such a thing?"

"Two other members of Neptune's party followed you and observed the conversation you supposedly had with IF. One of them told me of the ordeal. I was also told you knew of the Console War and that Neptune was Purple Heart, CPU of Planeptune."

As his goddess frowned at him, Yvoire forced himself to not disrespectfully turn his head away. "I did know of the Console War and Neptune's title."

"Who told you?" she demanded. "How did you learn of such a secret event known only by the four CPUs?"

"My lady, I was told by an informant of your battle with the other CPUs," Yvoire answered. "However, to disclose of my informant's identity would put her in danger."

"Do not keep secrets from me, Yvoire. Who was your informant?"

If he wasn't a silhouette, Yvoire's gritting of his teeth would've been noticeable. "... The one who told me of the Console War was Lowee's Evangelist, Conversation."

The CPU's expressed eased. "I see. Now, what was your motive for going behind my back and having someone kill a CPU for me even though I never asked for such a thing?"

"I did it for you, Lady Green Heart. You fight against three other CPUs for all of us but all we can do is pray... I had to to provide more aid somehow!" One of Yvoire's feet took a step forward.

The CPU turned around and looked out through the glass. "Your faith is sufficient. It and my strength will see me through this war."

"Lady Green Heart—"

"Do not try this again without my approval," the CPU interrupted before she twisted her head to look back at the Archbishop. "You are dismissed."

"... As you wish, my lady." Yvoire headed out the door immediately, keeping himself composed like a professional.

Once she was confident he couldn't hear her, Vert let out a sigh. "It was a mistake to leave you in charge and not handle the landmass' problems directly..."

The doors opened again. "Lady Green Heart, may I have a word with you?" asked the Evangelist.

Surprised, Vert turned around. Remembering who called for her, she frowned again. "What a coincidence. I had been meaning to talk with you. Come right in."

The silhouette helped herself inside and walked up to the CPU. "Thank you, my lady. I have urgent news to share with you. Firstly, I must say that you are a very lucky goddess to have someone as loyal as Yvoire working under you. He will suffer every punishment you give him and remain silent if it repels further conflict, even if that punishment is ill-deserved."

Vert was rather taken aback. "Conversation, what are you talking about?"

The Evangelist adjusted her hat. "I apologise for the secrecy but I was listening to the conversation you just had."

"Conv—"

"Please have faith in me when I say I would not have done so if it was not so important," Conversation interjected. "Yes, I did inform Yvoire of the Console War. As a follower of Lady White Heart, I believed it was necessary to provide aid for my goddess. If it took helping you as well, it was no cost at all."

"Even if that's true, the Console War is a matter for CPUs only. There is no need for you to involve yourself. I alone shall handle Neptune."

"I believe that you will. However, I am concerned over one individual. Specifically, that male companion of hers."

Vert blinked. "Do you mean Jake? What is your concern with him? I believe you met once."

Conversation walked to the side. "That is true. Before I left Lowee, we crossed paths. He came across as a trustworthy individual. Truly, I was a terrible judge of character back then. His knowledge of Celestia is too great."

"That is because Noire told him of it," Vert reasoned. "While it is highly unlikely, it's not impossible for him to learn of the Console War through her."

The Evangelist didn't meet Vert's gaze. Perhaps she was. Silhouettes were hard to analyse in such ways. "... What if I told you he knew about it before he met her?"

"Huh?" Vert swiftly looked back at the silhouette in confusion. "What are you saying?"

Like a switch was flicked, Conversation marched over to Leanbox's CPU. "Lady Green Heart, that boy is nothing but bad news. I will tell you in great detail if you are willing to listen."

Vert stood there, appraising Lowee's Evangelist for moment after moment. "... Do tell."

* * *

><p><strong>And thus, after all this exposition and dialogue, we have two parties of four: Neptune, Nisa, Compa and Gust and IF, Jacob, Red and 5pb.<strong>

**Geez, it's getting harder to write these days... Got a bit of writer's block on me; it's sapping my energy big time. I don't know when the next chapter will be up, sorry. I think I'll take a break to sit back and just let my energy build up again. Also, I need to plan out more for the end of the arc.**


	34. On the Rails

**Sorry about the wait. Wow, this is a long one! Let's get these review responses out of the way:**

**Saturn56: Maybe... Maybe NOT! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And have you played the remake already? Dang, alrighty.**

**Eisenfaust: Yes there is. It's kind of boring, actually, so I wish for the same thing.**

**Guest: ... Okay, this is where I put my foot down. This is perhaps the THIRD review I've seen like this for my story and that is four too many. I have actually read some of xnobody13's works and he is not that bad. You don't understand; I have been here long enough to remember the _Neptunia_ fanfics that were posted in the Misc. Games section because this one didn't exist yet (and yes, this precedes _Hyperdimension Infinite Neptunia_). When this section flickered to life, guess who was watching every non-crossover like a hawk? Me. You have NO idea what kind of abysmal subterranean ash I've seen posted for this series and xnobody13's works are nowhere near that level. Despite this, for whatever reason, these offensive pieces of garbage go about untouched while xnobody13 gets all the hate piled onto him while not even being technically bad by the general standards of writing across all things. What exactly did he do to deserve this? Why do the awful fanfics — and I mean awful as in ACTUALLY awful — remain untouched?**

**Also, from this point onwards, all other reviews that have "still better than xnobody" or similar will be deleted post haste no matter what else they have in them. You have been warned.**

**SVK9: Well, I have a lot of thoughts, mate. Just not THAT one in particular. I don't think I'll implement it, either. Thanks for the suggestion, though.**

**SS7x3: You're right! Something WILL happen! Whether or not it'll be worth the wait is another matter entirely, though. And no, I wrote that fic on a whim. I dunno if I'll continue with the tradition.**

**Now, let's see if something actually will happen in...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 34: On the Rails<strong>

A day passed. Neptune, Nisa, Compa and Gust were in the common room of the Aristocrat's mansion once again, huddled in front of a large flat-screen TV with their fifteen dogs. Each of the girls held a white steering wheel with a Wii Remote in them and they didn't blink once as they focused on the screen, twisting their wheels one way and then the other and pressing buttons like they held a game of Whac-A-Mole in their hands.

"Eat my doggy doo-doo strewn dust, doggy doo-doo strewn dust eaters!" shouted Neptune as her driver, a massive green tortoise with red hair and a spiked shell, was currently leagues in front of the others.

"Nep-Nep, that's a bit icky..." said Compa, trailing along at fourth place as a blonde princess in pink.

"Gust knows Neptune will boast if victorious," the alchemist stated tiredly, playing a man clad in a green cap and blue overalls.

Nisa's green dinosaur driver rode over a floating rainbow-coloured box and, by random chance, acquired a mushroom. The heroine eagerly pressed a button and cheered as her avatar sped past Gust with its temporary nitro boost. "Now I am in second! Prepare yourself, sister! First place will yet be mine!"

"In your dreamland, sis!" Neptune shouted back. "I'm almost at the finish line! You have no chance!"

Compa drove over an item box, making the item roulette appear and cycle though the available weapons rapidly. The nurse gasped when she came into possession of a spiny blue shell with wings.

"What? Oh crackers!" exclaimed Neptune as she saw Compa's new weapon.

"Stop screen watching!" Gust snapped.

"You're not in first place! What are you worried about?"

"Sorry, Nep-Nep, but all's fair in love and war!" Sporting the grin of a player at the lead, Compa released her shell. It soared along high above the track and zoomed towards Neptune like vengeful karma in a hurry.

"No no no no nooo...!" Neptune pulled into a drift, her rear tires kicking up yellow sparks. After a second or two, the sparks changed red right before the blue shell dove right onto her with an explosion, sending her flying into the sky before she landed back on her tires on the ground again with zero acceleration. Nisa was the first to pass her in her sluggish state and win in first place. As she was picking back up her speed, Gust zoomed by to come out of the race in second place. Compa was catching up but Neptune just managed to tap the finish line before Compa did, setting the CPU and the nurse at third and fourth respectively. "Yahay yeah! I still beat you, Compa!"

"Aw, I still didn't get third." It was a complaint but Compa smiled as she said it.

Gust set her wheel down on the ground. "Spiny shell overpowered."

"Indeed but it is immensely useful." The cross-legged heroine rested her elbows on her knees to support her head like a tripod. "If only we had such an item in reality," she sighed dreamily.

"Huh? Whatchu talkin' about?" asked Neptune.

"Picture it. We arrive at the start of the dungeon and the boss lies at the end of a cruel and long path. But we don't need to traverse it. All we need to do is unleash our flying shell and KA-BLAM!" Nisa suddenly jumped up and stood above her team mates. "The boss is gone and we're right at the entrance, ready to leave just as quickly as we entered!"

"Ooh, that sounds fantastic," commented Compa, her eyes sparkling.

"Yes..." muttered Gust. "Many dungeons have strong enemies but weak bosses... vast market... plenty of credits..." The alchemist hammered her fist into her open palm. "Gust must make recipe post-haste!"

A knocking came from the hallway door. "Excuse me, may I come in?" asked Jade.

"Of course!" replied Compa.

The Aristocrat entered the room. "Thank you. It sounds like you are having plenty of fun in here," he commented.

Compa smiled. "Thank you for letting us play on your Lowee console, Jade."

"It is not a problem. Lowee's console has much more entertainment value than that of Lastation or Leanbox. In my opinion, of course."

Neptune noticed a very straight slip of paper in Jade's hand. "Hey, whatcha got there?"

"Oh, this?" Jade walked over to Neptune and handed it to her. It was an already opened envelope with a signature written in calligraphy. "It is a letter to you from the Basilicom. Apparently, the goddess wishes to directly apologise for the poison incident."

"Hey!" Neptune snatched the envelope out of the Aristocrat's hand and, hunching over it so he couldn't see, took out the folded paper within. "You shouldn't read other people's mail! That's a crime! They take all your weapons and some money away for that!"

"The Basilicom has gone as far as poisoning you with an inn meal and they are opposing us. We have to be prepared for whatever underhanded assault they may initiate," explained Jade.

Compa read the unfolded letter from behind Neptune. "An apology? So Vert's going to say sorry for the poisoning? Then we should go."

"... Like I said, they have tried to kill you. Are you seriously willing to just stroll into their stronghold at their request?"

"Basilicom won't attack in front of goddess," Gust responded. "We okay if we don't eat anything."

Very quietly, Jade let out a breath through his nose. "Is there truly no way that I can convince you this is such a horribly bad idea?"

"Nope." Neptune pocketed her invitation into her hammerspace and stood up. "When the plot comes calling, you just gotta answer."

"Plus, Vert was here before," added Nisa. "I can tell she means well, despite her Basilicom's actions."

"Can you be certain of that?" Jade pressed. "Can you tell with absolute certainty that Vert and the Basilicom both will refrain from attacking you again?"

None of the four girls responded. They shared glances with one another, all without even a grin.

With a sigh, Gust pulled out her staff and tapped the end of it against the floor. "Must go. Problem will not solve itself," she stated.

Neptune sighed. "Yeah, them's the stakes. No matter what we think, we gotta meet the goddess and get to the bottom of all this."

"If that is what you must do, I will not try to stop you." The exasperated Aristocrat walked to the door and opened it. He didn't leave just yet, however. "Just be careful. Please."

Compa nodded. "We will. Don't worry."

* * *

><p>"Whoa!" Neptune's exclamation almost left her out of breath. The Red Ring Table was set up in the Basilicom once again, covered in all sorts of food and drinks although they were fewer in number than before. "This is the second party they've invited us to. How loaded <em>is <em>Leanbox?"

"Very. For now." Gust grinned but not in a way that was very warm or pleasant at all.

"There's no one here, though," Nisa pointed out. As it turned out, they were the only ones actually present in the room.

"Why are they holding a party, anyway?" asked Neptune. "Is it such a big deal to say sorry for nearly kickin' someone else's bucket?"

"That's a good question," commented Compa. "We should find Vert, though. She said she'd meet us here..."

"Oh, look! Is that her? She looks like a goddess! She's not a silhouette!" Neptune cried out, pointing at a figure in the doorway at the opposite end of the room.

Vert walked into the room with her usual divine grace, holding her hands in front of her like normal. Her solemn face beheld the party as she approached them. "Nice to meet you. I'm the CPU of Leanbox, Green Heart. Thank you for taking the time to visit us today."

"Hey! Nice to meet ya, too!" Neptune returned.

Vert smiled at the other CPU. "Hello, Nep-Nep. It's good to see you well. You were so pale and quiet when I came to visit."

"Wait, you visited us? Since when?"

"Jake brought her around while you were ill," answered Compa. "She also liked how I called you Nep-Nep so she's using it too."

"If you don't like it, I can just call you Neptune," offered Vert.

"No no no, it's coolio!" Neptune declined.

Vert looked over Neptune's party. "Speaking of Jake, I assume he's still with IF?"

"Yes," Gust answered, knowing that the issue was still rather sensitive for Compa, Nisa and Neptune. "Still recovering."

The CPU sighed. "That is a shame. I apologise for all that you have suffered through due to my Basilicom. I can't believe they would do that. Someone had indeed told the Archbishop about the Console War. Rest assured, I will get to the bottom of this."

"Um, Lady Vert?" Nisa spoke up. "I know my student, Jacob, has conversed with you about it but have you ever heard of a Key Fragment? Supposedly, it's in a dungeon and it's protected by a fearsome monster."

"I'm afraid I still don't know," Vert replied. "I really do wish I got out more. If I knew more than I did, I may be able to help you."

The purple-haired CPU slumped. "Aw, that's a bummer..."

"However," Vert continued, "the Evangelist may know something." She then turned towards where she had come in from. "Will you come in here and speak with them?"

As Conversation entered the room, the party almost pulled out their weapons but they restrained themselves. The silhouette strolled up to the girls and nodded curtly. "I am the Evangelist, Conversation. We met once before."

"Yeah, I know," answered Neptune. "Back in Lowee before you left."

"Glad to see you remember." Conversation's head shifted slightly as if she was looking over the party like Vert did. "I thought there were more of you?"

"Some of us are ill," Nisa answered roughly.

The Evangelist's eyebrow might have risen. "I see. I apologise if I offended you."

"Excuse me, Conves... Convy, we're looking for something called a Key Fragment. Do you know of any strange dungeons?" Compa asked.

The silhouette put her hand on her chin. "Hm... As a matter of fact, I did happen across a strange dungeon recently. I can't think of a word to describe it but it was just a little... 'off'. I'll show you the way, if you'd like."

Nisa glanced at Vert. The CPU kept her gaze set on Conversation intently, almost like a surveillance camera. "Lady Vert, would you like to come with us?" asked the heroine.

The CPU shook her head. "I'd love to but I'm afraid I have a lot of work to do."

Neptune shrugged. "Well, whatevz with a z. So where's this dungeon?"

* * *

><p>It took around half an hour for the party and Conversation to arrive at the dungeon. It was nothing out of the ordinary; just another cave filled with glowing green crystals. "This is the area I mentioned. Please be careful, since the monsters do seem rather vicious," the Evangelist warned.<p>

"No need to worry about us." Nisa pulled her gloves on tighter and twirled her wrist. "I swear that there isn't a single monster in this dungeon that can threaten us."

"Unless it's a Guard Vermin," Compa added. "We might be in trouble, then."

"Well, since I'm not a fighter, I'll excuse myself here so that I will not have to face any Guard Vermins." The silhouette turned towards the entrance of the cave.

Neptune crossed her arms. "Sucks you ain't coming. I figured an Evangelist would be a wizard that could clear the enemy field in one go with awesome summons."

Conversation chuckled. "What an active imagination you have there. Maybe... just maybe, I'll be able to show off the next time we meet."

"So you can fight?" Gust asked less than kindly.

"I may be a fighter. I may not be a fighter. However, I am definitely an Evangelist and duty calls. I hope you find your Key Fragment here." With her farewells said, the Evangelist left the dungeon.

Grinning, Neptune pulled out Armas and pointed down the dungeon. "Okey dokey! Let's go, my companions! We have a—"

A sudden rumbling from overhead interrupted Neptune.

"What was that?" asked Compa, looking up with the others only for a small wisp of dirt to fall in her eye. "Ow!"

Gust's eyes widened as she saw a stone loosen from the rocky ceiling, letting some more dust fall to the ground. "Run!" she cried as she dashed away as fast as her brown boots would allow.

"What?" asked Neptune before a stone fell behind her with a _thud_ and a _crack_. "Ah!" she yelped as she raced away.

"_Ahhhh!_" cried Nisa and Compa, running right behind the CPU just as more and more rocks fell to the ground like massive dark-green hail. The stones piled higher and higher until they reached the very top of the dungeon, burying the entrance completely underneath.

"What the heck was that...?" panted the heroine, sitting against the wall opposite the rubble along with the rest of the party.

"A cave-in...?" Gust took off her hat and laid it beside her. "How...?"

Compa slowly stood back up and walked over to the rubble, rubbing her eye with her sleeve. "H-Hey... the entrance is sealed! We can't get out!"

"What?!" Nisa shot up and ran over to where Compa stood. She ran to one side of the rock pile, looking at every single crack that crossed her vision. When the wall blocked her off, she ran to the other side and observed all over again. "She's right! The entrance is completely sealed!"

"Ah..." The nurse whimpered, her other hand rising up to her face. "What do you we do, what do you we do, what do you we do...?!"

"Hey, Compa, chillax!" Ever the guardian angel for the nurse, Neptune ran up to her and calmed her down. "It's no big deal! There's gotta be another way out!" The CPU twisted her head towards Gust. "Right, Gusty?"

The alchemist sighed and put on her hat. "Maybe. Perhaps we lucky and dungeon has two exits." With a grunt, the smallest party member stood up and dusted herself off. "Let's go. Sooner better than later."

Once more, the party picked themselves up and began another stroll through another dungeon.

Progressing through the dungeon was as dull and unsurprising an affair as ever so the inevitable random encounter was very welcome, especially when it was so threateningly large. The gargantuan brown beast's legs, even though they were individually as large as Neptune's torso, looked like wires compared to its massive feet. The waist of the monster was covered by some sort of stone skirt and its upper body resembled a large sphere. It looked like it was wearing some sort of brown-orange vest with a large metal ring the size of a door knocker on either side and a larger ring on its back. Its head was covered by a plain white mask with three pairs of eye holes. The monster's most impressive aspect, however, was its massive arms. The biceps connected to the side of what were essentially miniature brick towers that had hands so large that one of them could completely conceal Gust in its grasp.

"A Golem," Gust noted, sporting a somewhat energised grin. "Still cool to look at."

"Well, the bigger they are, the harder they fall!" Nisa shouted, pulling out her blade. "Sister!"

"Follow me!" Neptune yelled in return as she extended Armas' blade and dashed towards the Golem. She made her way to the Golem's right arm but quickly swerved to the left one as she got near and sliced along the limb with a running slash. The monster flinched and held its arm in just as Nisa followed up with a mighty flying kick to the chest that pushed it back towards Neptune, who recovered from her sprinting attack and swiped horizontally across the Golem's back, making it howl in pain.

"Musical Words!" called Gust as her floating magic circle shot out its beam of light and created the usual explosions that knocked the giant monster around but never over. Compa provided support by firing bullets from her syringe at the monster as fast as she could manage. As Nisa ran past the Golem and cut its leg, Neptune flipped onto its back and drove Armas into its shoulder. The Golem shot up and roared but Neptune wasn't shaken as she took her mech sword out and jumped off to the side. The Golem twisted around and backhanded her as she landed but she used the momentum to flip along the ground and stand once more so she suffered minimal damage.

Gust held up her staff. "Musi—"

The Golem slammed its fist into the ground, making the floor around Gust glow white and shake, throwing off her casting and tripping her over as she yelped an "ah!".

"Gust! Are you okay?" Compa bent down at the alchemist's side.

"Fine! Go help!" Gust took out a bottle of Reflex and drank it. The nurse nodded and pulled out her syringe once more before releasing another succession of bullets into the Golem just as it delivered a cross at Nisa. The heroine jumped over the fist, spinning in the air as she did so, and cut across the monster's arm for good measure. The monster jumped back a fair distance away from the party and raised its fist again.

"It's gonna pound the ground!" Neptune cried out as she and Nisa charged once more. They were too far away, however, and they wouldn't reach the monster in time. Neptune pulled out her gun and quickly aimed it at—

_Slish!_

The monster stopped all of a sudden. Neptune and Nisa stopped as well out of surprise, the former never firing her weapon. A moment passed. The monster fell over, collapsing on its side as its fist came undone. Neptune and Nisa looked to their right and saw a red-haired girl clad in red and black holding a red-edged frisbee behind her like she had just swiped with it like a sword. Her eyes were closed and she was leaning forward on one leg. Once the Golem burst into green data and faded away, the red-haired girl stood up and slid her frisbee into her detached floral red sleeve as if she was sheathing a katana.

"It's a _sword _now?" asked a familiar disbelieving male voice as its owner, a familiar brunette and an unfamiliar blunette appeared from around the corner. "Giant exploding yo-yos, bullet marbles, a giant hammer kendama and now a sword frisbee. I swear—"

"Jake?" Compa blurted out, making the four newcomers turn towards the all-female party.

"Iffy?" Neptune blurted out next, making the four newcomers' eyes widen.

"Oh, hey guys," greeted Jacob.

"You know them?" asked Red, turning her attention back to the male.

"Yeah, they're the party IF and I travelled with before," he said to her.

"Wow!" Red stared at the party like they were a shining treasure. Or perhaps a very aromatic cake. "Iffy, you never told me you partied with a bunch of cuties!"

"Aw, thanks!" Neptune blushed as she held her hands behind her head. "You're not bad lookin' yourself— ooh, is that a real dragon?"

"Sure is!" Red approached Neptune and shrugged the shoulder that her dragon was resting on. "Go on. Say hi to a new friend."

The dragon blinked several times as it focused on Neptune. The CPU smiled at the dragon. In response, the lazy golden reptile smiled back. It then loosened itself from Red's body and, after flying over to her, draped itself over Neptune's shoulder like a loose scarf. It then closed its eyes again, ditching the smile it had before.

"Aw, it likes you," said Red.

"What the _hell?!_" exclaimed Jacob, his eyes even wider than before.

5pb was also looking at Neptune but she didn't pay attention to the dragon. "A-Are you Neptune...? Iffy's friend?"

Neptune's grin disappeared. She noticed again the brunette who looked less than pleased to see Neptune. "... Yeah."

In that small cave corridor, IF and Neptune stood opposite each other. The dragon, looking worried for once in its life, left Neptune and went back to Red. Jacob, 5pb, Red, Compa, Nisa and Gust felt the urge to step away from the two and merely spectate. On one side, Neptune's hands gravitated towards each other in front of her chest. IF's hands remained at her sides, held into fists but the brunette didn't exert the effort to clench them entirely.

"... What are you doing here?" interrogated the Moderatist.

"Well, heh heh heh..." Neptune chuckled weakly. "Wouldn't you know it, we were— OH!" In a flash, all of Neptune's strength came back to her. "Iffy, did you know there was a Key Fragment here?"

Jacob and IF, the latter temporarily devoid of her irritation, shared a curious glance. "No, sorry," Jacob answered instead of IF. "We just came here to level grind these two. We haven't seen a Key Fragment in here and we've cleared this dungeon out. Why?"

"Damn it, we've been tricked!" cursed Nisa. "The Evangelist said there was a Key Fragment here and took us here. Then she caused a cave-in and sealed the entrance!"

"So I wasn't huffin' puffins when I thought she was acting weird..." Neptune thought out loud.

"Wait, the Evangelist?" repeated Jacob.

"Suspicions correct. Evangelist bad guy," said Gust.

Jacob's hands raked through his hair. "Damn it. I was so focused on Yvoire..."

"There's something else," Nisa began. "Jacob, Jade's been getting weapons from Avenir."

"What?!" shouted IF and Jacob.

"Who?" asked Red, looking confused, much like 5pb.

"I know, right?" continued Neptune. "We just cleared out a dungeon for them to move weapons through and it turns out the bad guys are in cahoots with them."

"It's hard to believe the Aristocrats are working with Avenir..." commented IF.

"A-Actually..." Compa found herself being looked at by seven pairs of eyes. "I-I was talking with Jade once. I told him about the Key Fragments and he even said he'd help us look for them. I asked him how and he said..." At this point, Compa cleared her throat and did the best impression of Jade she could manage, "Don't tell anyone about this, as not even Sir Turquoise knows, but I happen to have quite a few friends with their ears to the ground."

IF and Jacob looked at each other. "The Guild," stated the brunette. "It has to be."

"Jade's a member of the Guild?" asked Neptune.

"And his dad doesn't know?" asked Nisa.

"Which means that Avenir has an employee from the Guild, which isn't surprising." IF crossed her arms. "So the Aristocrats are planning an armed revolt?"

"Yes," Gust answered.

"And they're even violating inter-landmass laws... This is serious."

"I say the first order of business is finding the Evangelist," proposed Jacob. "Not only did she tell Yvoire about Neptune but now she's tried to trap you in here."

"Makes sense. I wanna beat the crap out of her as well." The Moderatist flexed her wrists and her hidden blades shot out.

"But how do we get out?" inquired the nurse.

"Fortunately, there's another exit at the end of the dungeon," Jacob explained. "We'll take you there."

Neptune blinked. "If there's another exit all the way over there, why'd you come this way?"

"We wanted to get more experience points in. By the way, that's Red," Jacob pointed at the red-haired girl, "and that's 5pb," he finished while pointing at the blue-haired girl.

"Ah...!" 5pb's wavelength eyes appeared again as she took a step back.

"Wait, 5pb? _The_ 5pb?" Nisa was essentially gaping at the shrinking idol. "She... looks so different from her concerts."

"She's a bit shy. Be gentle with her," advised IF. "Now let's get on with it. The sooner we're out of here, the better."

* * *

><p>There was a lot less conversation amongst the party of eight than you'd expect. They encountered another group of monsters shortly after they joined up but, even then, they only said what they had to say.<p>

Neptune, at the front with IF and Red, took it upon herself to break the ice with the brunette. "So, Iffy—"

"Don't call me Iffy," interrupted IF, keeping her eyes forward. "Just don't."

"Aw, Iffy!" Neptune whined. "You're cold as ice today!"

"What did I just say, Neptune?"

"Why can't she call you Iffy?" asked Red. "Aren't you two friends?"

"It's because..." IF stopped herself from saying more to the red-haired girl. The Moderatist suddenly looked enervated. "... It's not right."

Jacob, walking beside Gust and 5pb, could hear everything Red, IF and Neptune were saying right in front of him. He rolled his eyes.

Neptune tapped IF on the shoulder three times quickly. "Are you upset? Because I'm not, really. As far as I care, nothing's changed between us, Iffy."

IF gritted her teeth. "Neptune—"

"Neptune, cut it out," Jacob called, making the three girls look behind them. "IF's in a bad mood. Say what you want but just don't call her Iffy. IF, at the same time, you can lighten up a bit. Neptune's just trying to be friendly and she's done nothing wrong."

IF glared at him. Jacob glared back. He didn't want an argument right now but he wasn't going to get pushed around because of her attitude. Finally, after what felt like minutes, the brunette backed down. Not out of fear, he noticed, but out of melancholy. "Sorry. I just don't want to be talked to right now."

"You're such a bummer right now..." sighed Neptune.

Red, noticing Neptune's dejection, tugged on her sleeve. "Hey, cheer up! Wanna hold my dragon?"

That filled the CPU's eyes with stars. "Do I!"

Smiling again, Red petted her dragon which then moved to Neptune and coiled around her. "Be nice to Nep!"

"Yahoo!" cheered Neptune, petting the dragon's head and getting a delighted grin from it. "I wish I had a pet dragon of my own. I'm living the JRPG hero dream, here!"

"And then there were two," muttered Jacob.

"One bad enough," added Gust.

5pb, however, kept her eyes on IF. "Um, G-Gust? They were friends, right?"

The alchemist looked up at the idol. "Were. Why?"

Unsurprisingly, 5pb was nervous, as shown by how her fingers kept fiddling with each other. "I know she wants to forgive them... We even talked about that... So why's she acting this way?"

Gust and Jacob looked back at IF. Still, the brunette kept her eyes forward, focused on the path and away from Neptune. "Hm..." they both went.

"Are we there yet?" asked Nisa, standing at the back of the group with Compa.

"Nearly," called back IF. "The exit's right around the next turn. We get to the door, head for it then we can get to the Basilicom and thrash the Evangelist. Sound good to everyone?"

"I hope you're also including me in that question, Iffy," responded the voice of a mature woman from right around the next turn.

The golden dragon returned to Red as everyone got out their weapons immediately (except for Jacob, who was already wearing his gauntlets) and rushed to the front. The voice's owner walked around the next turn and came face to face with the party. "Hello, everyone," greeted Green Heart. "I hope I didn't startle you too much, as this is the first time you've seen me in this form. Well, except for Jake."

"Hi," returned Jacob.

"Wha?!" While the others simply gave Jacob an inquisitive glance, Neptune took it one step further by shouting and and turning around so quickly it was a wonder her shoe didn't get shredded to pieces. "You know this underboob lady, Sparky?"

IF glanced back at Neptune. "You don't know her? She looks a bit like you after your HDD, though."

Those two sentences were like lit matches being thrown right under a mental fire alarm that told Jacob very sharply that something was wrong. "Wait, hold on, back up..." He got IF and Neptune's attention again but he was focused entirely on the Moderatist. "Did you just say you don't know who she is?"

The brunette blinked. "Yeah. I've never seen her before."

"Yeah, but..." Jacob looked at Green Heart. She crossed her right arm underneath her breasts and held onto her left bicep as she looked on at the party. "You don't know who that is?"

The Moderatist looked at the green-haired CPU as well. "No, I don't. Should I?"

"Iffy, can you really not discern my identity? I'm a bit disappointed..." remarked Green Heart, looking a bit morose.

"Give her a bit, she's smarter than this. It's just a temporary lapse." As Jacob took a deep breath, he felt his lungs expand tightly and then satisfyingly deflate when he exhaled. "Okay, IF. She called you 'Iffy'. Who do you know that calls you Iffy?"

"Neptune, Red, 5pb and Vert," listed the brunette as she counted them off her fingers.

"That reminds me, why do they get to call you Iffy and I don't?" asked Neptune.

"Not now, Neptune," Jacob quickly responded. "Okay, IF, who of those four people are not here?"

"Vert," IF answered promptly. "She's at the Basilicom."

"No I'm not," Green Heart interjected.

Jacob thrust his arms out towards Green Heart as if demonstrating to IF an amazing feat she did. "Did you hear that?!"

"Hear what?" asked the brunette in return.

"_Gnnngh..._" Jacob stomped over to the nearest wall and braced himself against it. As he took heavy breaths, he exerted less force against the wall. When he was finally calm again, he pushed himself off the wall, dusted his hands together and walked back to IF. "Okay, okay, okay. Here's something else. You said she looks like Neptune when she transforms. Now, what can you surmise from that?"

"If you know who she is, just tell us!" IF snapped.

"You should be able to figure out who she is!" Jacob shouted. "She has given you every possible hint!"

"But we haven't seen her before," Nisa brought up.

"So?!" By now, Jacob's arm movements were getting very exaggerated. "IF, you said that she looks like Neptune when she transforms! Do you know what this means? _It means someone's transformed into her!_ Now the question is _WHO?!_"

"Hm..." Neptune crossed her arms. "So she called Iffy Iffy and she calls Sparky Jake and she's transformed from someone... and the only person who calls Iffy Iffy and Sparky Jake is Vert... and she also calls me Nep-Nep..."

Jacob held his breath, waiting for Neptune to conclude her reasoning...

Then Neptune threw her hands up in the air. "Well, since Vert's at the Basilicom, I am completely stumped like an indestructible tree."

A painfully loud _SLAP!_ bounced around the cave as Jacob's palm hit his forehead so hard that they both turned red. As his forehead-slapping hand slid down to cover one side of his face, he brought up his other hand to cover the other side. His fingertips pressed deeply into his forehead skin and massaged it in circular motions. "I'm surrounded by idiots. I'm not smart. I'm just surrounded by idiots." His warm, muggy breath bounced off his red hands back onto his face. He was beyond caring at the moment.

Green Heart cleared her throat. The party stopped staring and glaring at each other and looked back at the somewhat lonely CPU. "Jake, I appreciate your efforts but I am here on business and I would like to get it out of the way."

Jacob lightly blew onto his bright, burning hand. "Sure thing. What's up? I assumed we were on good terms since we last met."

"I have been informed by Conversation that it was by your hands that the poisoning incident took place."

Burning sensation be damned, Jacob clenched his fist. "... What?"

"What?!" shouted IF. "That's bullcrap! Neptune almost died! Why would we even think of doing such a thing?!"

"She's right!" Nisa spoke up. "We haven't anything to gain from faking a scandal!"

"Conversation thinks otherwise," Green Heart replied. "According to her, this was a scheme to discredit the Basilicom by spreading a false story and have the Aristocrats win favour. Ultimately, the Aristocrats would rule the landmass once again."

"I feel very out of the loop right now," Red said to 5pb.

"Y-Yeah..." agreed the meek idol. "Joining a party late isn't very fun..."

"Would that really matter since you run the landmass no ifs, ands or buts, though?" Jacob asked Green Heart.

"It would," answered the green-haired CPU. "I'm not too proud to admit that I need help from time to time but I know the Aristocrats would be less than willing to provide it."

"T-That's not true at all!" Compa stammered. "W-Well, I mean the fake poisoning thing, not the Aristocrats not helping thing. P-Point is, they lent us a hand when we were in trouble!"

"Also happened before meeting Aristocrats," noted Gust.

The CPU let out a small sigh. "The Evangelist told me this would happen. She also told me a bit more about you, Jake."

The male, feeling slightly nervous, rose his hands slightly. "What about me?"

From her hammerspace, Green Heart pulled out her weapon. Unlike the swords of Purple Heart and Black Heart and the axe of White Heart, Green Heart's weapon was a lot less orthodox. Not only was it a massive grey drill the length of the goddess' body, she held it in line with her forearm. The grip and Green Heart's hand were underneath a thick green and white cylinder that would serve well to protect her hand from attacks that actually got close to it. Connecting the grip to the base of the drill was a narrow segment with twelve small back tubes bent inwards, making it look like a black-petalled flower. The grin and the connecting segment together were the length of Green Heart's forearm, which had its back protected by a long spiked guard protruding from the weapon's grip. As the CPU pointed the drill at Jacob, the spiral cone reflected the green glow of the dungeon's crystals, giving it a toxic aura. "According to Conversation, this was all orchestrated by you. In an effort to usurp the B—"

"_No__._" Jacob's rejection of the Evangelist's claims was so stark that all the party members, in the silence, stepped back away from him. Green Heart's arm even lowered, resulting in her large drill weapon pointing to the ground. "I have not, nor will I ever poison Neptune or organise for her to get poisoned for any reason whatsoever. I do not believe in killing people much less my own friends who are very dear to me." Jacob twirled his neck and put up his gauntlet-clad fists. "I'd prefer not to fight but, if you push me, I will push back."

"That's right!" Neptune span around Armas in a showy manner and stood offensively towards Green Heart. "I dunno what happened exactly but I trust Jacob like you would not believe. He'd never poison me. And unlike him, it's been ages since I've had a good fight so I'm raring for a decent punch-up! Bring your best!"

The violet eyes of the opposing CPU narrowed. "I would, Nep-Nep. However..." Her drill disappeared in a flash of green light as she shook her hand, "... I am not looking for a fight."

"... Huh?" sounded the entire party.

"While I do not know Jake well, what Conversation said of your so-called... Allow me to recount. Apparently, you had been seeking to kill Nep-Nep for quite some time, having learned of her divinity around the time the goddesses returned from Celestia. However, you also planned to eliminate the other goddesses systematically right from under everyone's noses. Acting as Nep-Nep's supporter, you recruited a small band of loyal followers. Upon arriving in Leanbox, you conspired with Yvoire to eliminate Nep-Nep in a way that would leave you completely unsuspected. In the event it failed, though, you could use the chaos to destabilise Leanbox with the help of the Aristocrats and eliminate me. At least, that's how Conversation told it."

"... _Huh?_" sounded the slightly more incredulous party.

The green-haired CPU let out a breath and placed her hand to her forehead. "I'll admit she had me to a degree when she mentioned you were collaborating with the Aristocrats to bring down the Basilicom but everything after that was just ridiculous. I just can't see you as the type of person to go through such lengths for such a scheme. I don't even know what you'd gain from it."

"I'm not even patient enough to make toast in the morning," Jacob responded.

"So if you're not here to fight, why are you here?" asked Nisa.

Green Heart briefly glanced at the cave walls. "I wished to discuss this in private with you. With Nep-Nep's half of the party in the cave, Conversation proposed I meet you here and finish you off and there was no way I could refuse without coming across as suspicious. Therefore, I went along with her plan and came here. I had no intention of killing you to begin with. I also happen to be particularly blessed that you are here, Jake and Iffy."

"That... seems awfully roundabout," commented Jacob. "Not to mention it left them at Conversation's mercy if she actually could kill them off then and there. I mean, she even made a cave-in so they'd die in here."

Green Heart's violet eyes narrowed. "Did she now?"

"Yeah. Couldn't you have just given us a call or something? Or met us at our homes?"

The goddess winced. "In hindsight, it was a poor decision. Some things are just meant to happen, I suppose."

Red looked up at the male. "Somehow, I think this is your fault."

"You can shut up," Jacob flared.

"Hey, calm down," IF scolded.

"Right. Sorry." Jacob then blew out of his nose and focused on the green-haired goddess again. "Anyway, did the Evangelist tell you how she knew about the Console War?"

"I intended to talk to her about it," she answered.

"Well, okay then." Jacob ground his gauntlet-clad fist into his palm. "Not only has Conversation tried to trap us in here, she's tried to frame us for an overly complicated scheme. I say we go show her a thing or two right now."

"Wait," said Green Heart, lifting her hand and signalling for Jacob to stop.

"... Why?"

"I will take care of her." Although she was set in her decision, her eyes looked down slightly as she reflected on herself. "I am not too proud to say I have done a poor job handling things to this point. My Archbishop acted in affairs he had no right to. The visiting Evangelist, our once esteemed guest, has acted behind my back in ways I would have been able to prevent had I been paying attention... and, by going along with her scheme, I put you all in danger. Again."

"Oi, now," started Neptune, wearing a disarming smile. "We're super tough, y'know, so it's not like Convy's gonna off us that easily. It's not your fault."

"It _is_ my fault," Green Heart answered sternly. Even without her lance, the transformed CPU had never looked so resolute. "Nep-Nep, Iffy, you both have suffered greatly due to my mistakes. I will rectify this myself. I am the CPU of Leanbox and it is my job to administer justice to those that threaten it."

A tired breath escaped the male. "Well, fine. Have fun. We'll just be hanging out where we live so you can just tell us when you're done."

"I intend to. Take care." Green Heart deftly turned to walk back around the corner but she stopped before she was out of sight of the party. "Oh, Jake? I have one more question."

"What is it?"

The CPU measured Jacob in her stare for a moment. "How long have you known about us in Celestia?"

Jacob blinked, not expecting the question. "Um, since Noire told us about you. Why?"

"... No reason," she answered with narrowed eyes. "Farewell."

"Wait! Hold on!" Neptune shouted. "Aren't you going to fight us?"

"I said I wasn't," the other CPU answered.

"But we came all the way out here for a Key Fragment! And we didn't find one! And I haven't had a good fight in yonks! And you were supposed to come out here to fight us anyway!"

"That was a ruse, though."

"Aw, come _on!_" By now, Neptune's arms were flailing. Thankfully, Armas' sword had been retracted. "I haven't had a single blood-boiling battle since I got here! I got poisoned! I want a good fight, dang it!"

"Nep-Nep, we have no reason to fight," Green Heart asserted. "Besides, there are eight of you and only one of me. You would trounce me for sure."

Neptune turned to her party. "You heard her! This'll be one on one! Stay out of this!"

"No," answered Jacob, Nisa and IF succinctly.

Neptune pouted. "You're all party poopers, the lot of you."

Then Green Heart's eyes lit up with a spark of inspiration. "Actually, there might be one way I can take you all on... Nep-Nep, can you use Neptune Break?"

"Yeah, why?" answered the shorter CPU.

"Oh, never mind then." And the spark was gone.

"Crackers!" Neptune cursed vigorously before she slumped in depressed defeat. "Fine. We won't fight."

"Thank goodness. I'm not sure I would have survived. Farewell." Finally, Green Heart turned around the corner and was out of sight. The party of eight was once again left in the middle of the green dungeon.

Neptune placed her hands on her hips. "Well, there is one thing that I am absolutely certain of."

"What's that?" asked Jacob.

"I have no idea who she was."

"DAMN IT ALL!" Jacob's arms shot up seemingly to choke whatever malevolent god was toying with him as his legs gave way underneath him, making him fall to his knees.

"So who was that?" Red asked the male.

"It was... No. You know what? If you people couldn't figure it out immediately, it's your own damn fault. Except for you, 5pb."

The idol, not knowing how exactly to respond, simply nodded uncertainly.

IF shrugged. "Well, it doesn't matter. The Evangelist's going to get taken care of. There's nothing left for us to do. Red, Jacob, 5pb, let's go." The brunette began walking down the cave again to the exit.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Neptune called, running up to her. "Aren't ya gonna join our party again?"

"... No," the Moderatist answered bluntly albeit not right away.

"Why?" asked the CPU. "It's been ages since I've seen you! It was so lonely knowing that you and Sparky weren't there when I woke up from the poisoning! We can be a whole party again and go adventuring like we used to! You're still precious friends to me, you know!"

It was subtle but IF was trembling slightly at Neptune's statements. "I can't go back yet," IF answered plainly but with a wavering voice.

Neptune, always one to try to reach out to people, began walking towards IF. "But Iffy—"

"_STOP CALLING ME IFFY!_"

Everyone stepped back. IF's sheer burst of rage as she snapped around to the now-terrified CPU froze everyone where they stood. Even Jacob thought his heart stopped for a moment. After a few moments, the mania subsided from IF's face and she regained awareness of her surroundings. Immediately, her anger became shame and she too slunk back. "I'm... Neptune, I just can't... I can't journey with you."

"Iffy, I don't care about the whole poisoning thing," said Neptune, shaking the fear off. "I know you didn't mean to do it and I'm not angry. I'm putting it all aside, okay? I just want you back... I just want to go back to the way things were." The brunette didn't respond so Neptune, after a moment's hesitation, moved a bit closer. "Don't you miss us? This? Being a party, solving mysteries, having fun, the whole do?"

IF looked at Neptune. She could see the CPU's sorrow as the CPU could see hers. She looked at Compa, Nisa and Gust. The alchemist looked concerned but not too personally, just like a person of business. Compa and Nisa, however, regarded IF with caution, betrayal and sorrow of their own. They remembered the IF that was a member of their party but they also remembered the IF that almost got Neptune killed. It only made her feel worse. "Yes, I miss it. Of course I do," the Moderatist finally replied. "But that's not it..."

Again, Neptune adopted a moment of silence. Her eyes flickered away from IF for the briefest passage of time before they found IF again. "Do you hate me?"

"No," IF answered naturally.

"Then why?"

"Because I..." IF paused. She shut her eyes, casting Neptune out of her sight, and looked down. She opened her eyes once more and found only the earth beneath her feet. "... I hate me."

No one responded to that. All eyes were on IF. IF didn't look at anyone, couldn't look at anyone, and faced the floor.

"IF." Jacob walked up to the side of the brunette. "Wanna go back?" he asked of her softly and without judgement.

He heard the brunette take in the smallest of breaths. To his relief, she turned around towards the exit and walked towards it. "Sure," she answered.

"Hey, hold up! Sorry, Nep, I hope I see ya soon!" Red called to the CPU as she took off after her wifey, 5pb following closely behind her.

Jacob looked back at Neptune, Nisa, Gust and Compa. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Jake," answered Compa, wearing a smile in spite of the current events. "It's not your fault."

"It's not hers either..." Jacob sighed. "Anyway, we'll get going. Hopefully, everything'll be sorted out tomorrow. We'll figure out what to do from there, okay?"

Nisa nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

"Okay. I'll see you all maybe tomorrow." With that, Jacob walked towards the cave's exit, leaving the four girls behind again.

Gust looked up at the others, being less dejected than they. "Gust can make something for cheering up if want," she offered.

Neptune shook her head tiredly. "Nah. Winners don't use drugs."

"Depression serious issue," Gust added. "No shame."

"She's right..." the nurse-in-training agreed.

"Let's just go," Nisa cut in. "We'll go back, see that woman tomorrow and see how things go from there, okay?"

"That sounds good," answered Neptune. "I could do with a good nap."

* * *

><p>Jacob came to a stop in the middle of one of Leanbox's streets. It only took a few seconds for Red, IF and 5pb to notice and stop as well. "So. You hate you, huh?"<p>

IF groaned. "Can we discuss this later?"

"Well, you just blew up at someone you admitted you missed and now you have self-esteem issues up the wazoo." The male crossed his arms as he appraised the brunette critically. "I think we should talk about this now."

"What's there to talk about? I'm partly responsible for Neptune ending up like she did and it makes me sick."

"How about why you'd even entertain the notion to begin with?" Jacob rolled his eyes as IF sharply turned around at the question. "Why didn't you just say no to Yvoire? Why didn't you kick him in the nads? Or throw the poison right in his face? Why did you _pocket it_ of all things and say you'll think about it?"

IF marched closer to a nearby wall and banged her fist against it. "... I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Iffy, he's right."

IF, Jacob, 5pb and even the lethargic dragon looked at Red with eyes wide with shock. For the first time since meeting him, the red-headed girl was agreeing with and supporting the male's opinion. "... Um..." IF said if only because she couldn't currently say anything else.

"Iffy, I'm really worried," Red continued. "I can tell you and Nep used to be best buds but now you're trying to run away from her even though you don't wanna. That's not right, y'know? Now, even I can tell that there's more here than meets the eye. I'm worried about my wifey, okay? All of us are. We just want you to be happy."

The brunette's eyes softened. "Red..."

The energetic girl ran up to IF and captured her in a tight hug. "Come on! Ya know you can trust us, right?" asked Red as she smiled at her wifey. "You can tell us anything."

Caught off guard, IF was momentarily silent. The red-headed girl never stopped smiling at her, though. IF was compelled to smile back. "Sorry, it's just... I'm just a bit tired." The brunette placed a hand on Red's shoulder. "Can we just head back for a rest? I promise I'll tell you later."

"Sure!" Red answered cheerfully. "I ain't gonna force ya to do anything and I ain't gonna hold it against ya."

"And neither will I," added Jacob, smiling a little bit himself.

"Thanks," IF sighed out of relief as Red released her from her embrace. "I know I can trust you. It's just a personal issue of mine that... Well, I'm not comfortable sharing it."

"I know how that feels," Jacob responded. "Just tell us in your own time, okay?"

The Moderatist nodded, wearing a grateful smile. "I will, don't worry. Now let's go."

That discussion put to the side, IF led the party advancing down the street aiming towards the party's lodgings. With IF's back turned to them, Jacob leaned to Red. "Thank you, Red."

"I'm doing it for my wifey," Red reminded him sternly. "Even if you are an evil alien feeding off the good emotions of girls, she doesn't deserve to suffer."

Jacob sniggered a bit. "Still, thanks. She is a dear friend of mine as well, you know. We've known each other as long as she and Neptune have known each other. Well, with this little party split, I've actually known her a bit longer now."

Red looked up at him, curious now. "Really?"

"Yeah. I don't know anything about her that Neptune wouldn't know, though, so you can ask her when we merge again. Saves you from talking to me, eh?"

The red-headed girl grinned. "Well, looks like you're at least a somewhat nice evil alien. I'll put up with you for now."

As the party walked on, Jacob looked back at 5pb. She did not look like she felt the current ease of the party. She looked at IF with eyes of anxiety and apprehension and her hands were fiddling with each other. "Hey, 5pb, you okay?" he asked.

Caught off guard, the idol's eyes briefly widened and her soundwave line irises appeared and spiked at the same time before she got over the surprise. "Ah, y-yes..." she stammered, still stealing glances at the back of the brunette's head.

Jacob decided not to push it and kept walking.

* * *

><p>Conversation entered Vert's meeting chambers. The CPU had her back to the door but Conversation wasn't intimidated; just curious. "Did you call for me, Lady Green Heart?"<p>

Vert turned around to look at the Evangelist. She didn't think the blonde goddess could look more stern or agitated if she tried. "Indeed I have. I'm rather certain you know the purpose of this meeting."

"So... did you carry it out?" the silhouette asked. "Has the deed been done?"

"No it has not," Vert answered. "I had a suspicion you were lying to me when you told me of Jacob's plans. I ventured to the dungeon and, as it turns out, you caved in the entrance. I'm rather certain that was not part of the plan."

The Evangelist flinched. "My lady, I—"

"_Enough._" Conversation flinched. It was rare and somewhat unnerving for Vert to bare her teeth at anyone even when angry. "Now, I missed the opportunity last time to ask you questions of my own." Vert took a step closer to the silhouette. "How did you come to learn of the Console War? Why have you not confided in me with this knowledge? You have proven yourself to be untrustworthy with the way you act on your own so you better tell me everything before I take further action."

The Evangelist was faced with the coldest glare she had ever seen. Despite this, the most she'd give the CPU was a slightly peeved sigh. "Well, it appears this is going awry so I best take further action of my own."

"What are you—"

Vert's inquiry was interrupted by a pulse of magic emitted from Conversation's outstretched hand that, with a sound that combined a 'BOOM' and a 'VOOM', launched her at the glass walls faster than a cannonball. The dome shook but the glass didn't break as Vert crashed against it and fell to the floor. Bracing herself against the floor, Vert panted and looked up at the slowly advancing silhouette.

A dark, malicious chuckle escaped Conversation, her hand resting on her hip. "Now, my dear Vert, I'm afraid I'll have to do this sooner than intended..."

* * *

><p><strong>By the way, this website counts conjunctions as two separate words. This is why this website's wordcount and Microsoft Word's wordcount are very different.<strong>

**Now, I still can't believe IF couldn't figure out who the "Unknown Assailant" was. I mean, she called her Iffy, she pretty much said she was transformed, Conversation wouldn't say such a thing to anyone else and Conversation and Yvoire don't really work for anyone else (apart from Blanc in the former's case but she's not important right now). Isn't IF supposed to be the smart one? Or is she just smart in a relative sense? And yes, I know that they would have figured it out by this story's order of events but it was such a ripe opportunity that I couldn't pass it up.**

**Also, the "What do you we do" bit is actually dubbed into the game. Fortunately, it's only in the subtitles and the 'you' is not spoken but am I the kind of guy to let this sort of opportunity slide? No!**

**Ugh... man, I'm still so exhausted trying to write this. Is this what it feels like for a shounen protagonist to use their super modes for too long? It might just be. Then again, I haven't seen a super mode last for longer than two and a quarter years (apart from an episode of _Dragon Ball Z_ but I digress). I'm sorry these chapters are taking so long, my dear readers, but it is rather taxing... But rest assured, I am not giving up. I have been writing this for two years and a quarter. I am not giving up now. Not a chance in hell.**

**Come hell or high water, Chapter 35: A Violent Darkness will be posted.**


	35. A Violent Darkness

**Hey, everyone. Bet you didn't expect this, huh? That'd make two of us. Honestly, I didn't know if this chapter would ever be published or if it were to drown forever in the sea of hiatus, never to see the light of day and closing Hyperdimension Neptunia is Real! all too early. But, thanks to several friends who I owe far more than I can give (you know who you are), I finally finished Chapter 35. Since the 16th of January, this fic has been left to collect dust. Even now, the thought of posting it feels alien and unusual. Are you all still here? Are you all still waiting for me after all this time? I'd understand if you left. Still, if you are here, I thank you very much. I wish I knew how to express so better but I don't.**

**Well, it's been a long time so a recap is in order. If you recall from the last chapter, the NNCG team (Neptune, Nisa, Compa, Gust) went to visit a dungeon at the Evangelist's recommendation, it caved in, they met the JIR5 team (Jacob, IF, Red, 5pb), met Green Heart but didn't recognise her as such except for Jacob, Green Heart didn't attack them, IF and Neptune got into a bit of a scuff, and Vert confronted the Evangelist but that ended kind of poorly. So now here we are! I hope you enjoy, even though it has been far too long!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 35: A Violent Darkness<strong>

After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the morning finally came (although far too slowly, Jacob and Red believed). The glowing relief trickled down to impatience once more, however, as the afternoon came and they were still not visited by Green Heart. Although it was risky to leave the motel in case she did in fact come around, Jacob decided it would be a better idea to go straight to the Basilicom. Thus, the party traversed a large meadow, hopped in the gondola, and sat patiently while the transport transported them to the Basilicom's floating island. The ride was slow as usual, which wasn't helping the party's rush at all, but they had no choice but to bear it so they begrudgingly did.

"I still don't see why we have to go to the Basilicom," stated IF, sitting between Red and 5pb.

"I want to check up on Vert," Jacob answered from opposite the three girls. "I'm probably just impatient but we haven't been visited by... that woman yet."

Red hummed in thought. "By the by, how would she know where we live?"

The male resisted the urge to groan. "That's not important."

"Is she at least reliable?" asked IF.

"You tell me."

Red sighed. "Boy, we've been busy as hey... All the grinding, all the talking, all the conspiracy-ing, and all the busywork and we haven't had much of a break."

"Sorry 'bout that," Jacob apologised. "Truth be told, I can't wait for all this to be over, either. I am so going to relax and eat something nice when everything's dealt with."

Red smiled as her own imagination got to work, her feet kicking all the while. "I can't wait to have some quiet moments with just Iffy and me."

"Iffy and I," corrected Jacob, even though the red-haired girl was too caught up in her fantasy to care.

"Ooh, I just wanna kickstart my Charisma score already!" Red whined as she rocked in her seat.

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Your what score?"

"Y'know, my Charisma score! If a wifey manages to get my Charisma to a hundred first, they get both a bonus item and a hotel event!"

Jacob glanced at IF. The brunette just shrugged and started playing with her phone. "Um..." began the male, "I don't think this is that kind of game."

"Say what?"

"I think this is just a standard JRPG. Go into dungeons, beat up monsters and bosses, do it over again until we get to the end."

"Well, duh." The red-headed girl crossed her arms. "It's a side mechanic, not a main one."

"Isn't that just for the main character, though?"

Suddenly, Red's skin began to pale. It really made her hair stand out. "... What?"

"Oh dear," said Jacob, even as the smirk beginning to grow on his face contradicted his concerned tone.

"No no no no _no!_" Red flailed her arms widly. "Every girl in a party can raise their relationship values with each other!"

"Okay then," Jacob muttered before relaxing back into his seat. "I wouldn't be surprised if they went all-out with that sort of thing, though." From the corner of his eye, he saw 5pb glance at IF for just a moment.

Once the gondola finally reached its destination, the party waded through the forest and came to the Basilicom grounds resting in its centre. Walking through a forest was annoying but IF and Jacob silently agreed that it was still better than the snow that Lowee had going for it. However, the party also saw the Evangelist's silhouette walking briskly away from the building.

The party crossed in front of her and Jacob noticed how she nearly jumped in surprise. "Hello," he greeted Jacob.

"Oh, hello," returned the Evangelist, sounding like she was trying very hard to hide a rattled tone. She looked at the trees of the surrounding forest again. "Is there something you need? I'm afraid I am very busy."

"That's alright. We just wanted to talk to Lady Green Heart. Is she in?"

"I do apologise but she is not. She is out in the middle of important business. Now, if you'll excuse me—"

"I'm afraid we won't," IF interrupted. "Did you cave in the dungeon where Neptune and her party were in yesterday?"

Conversation's head snapped towards the Moderatist, potentially with wide eyes. "I, uh... There was a cave in? My word, are they okay?"

"They're perfectly fine. Also, you're a terrible liar."

"And you of all people picked that up..." muttered Jacob.

The Evangelist let out a tired breath. "It seems I can't hide things from you."

The Evangelist thrust her palm onto Jacob's chest so quickly that he didn't even have time to respond as she sent him flying with a burst of magic. Each successive bounce he suffered along the concrete that the Basilicom was built on knocked out more of his breath and his bearings before he fell to a roll that came to an eventual stop. Getting up, all he could do was groan in a daze, oblivious to Conversation charging at him with her hand cackling with energy. IF ran up to her and swiped horizontally with her extended hidden blades but the silhouette jumped back and evaded. IF stepped in to press on her attack but backed away once Conversation reached into the same sort of hammerspace that Neptune kept her swords in and swung a quadruple-edged spear-lance from it.

The same spear-lance that impaled Jacob all the way back in Planeptune.

IF could only mouth a 'what' in recognition of the weapon.

With a fair deal of effort, Jacob finally looked up from the ground again and saw the pole arm. His groans died in his throat.

"Uh, am I missing something here again?" Red asked in the silence.

"Ahahahahahahaha!" At once, the blackness of the silhouette thinned and faded like mist parting across her skin and revealed her form to the party. Jacob and IF recognised it all immediately; the pale purple skin. The tight black clothing. The witch's hat. "So we meet again!" Arfoire shouted.

"You were the Evangelist?" IF cried. "But... how?"

"It's one of my many talents, brat." The witch then turned to Jacob, who was too frightened to continue moving off the ground. She sneered. "What a shame that you didn't die after our first encounter. I suppose I'll correct that mistake today."

"Oh no you don't!" shouted Red as she threw a massive yo-yo towards Arfoire. She was deft enough to raise her lance to block but, upon impact with the other weapon, the yo-yo released an explosive burst. Arfoire grunted as she was forced back several feet while the yo-yo wasn't even scratched. The yo-yo then returned to Red, shrinking as it travelled until it was safe in the red-headed girl's grasp once more.

"W-What was that?" Arfoire stammered.

Red, like an overeager hero, thrust her index finger at Arfoire. "I have no idea who you are but I won't let anyone in my party get threatened! Not even the aliens that threaten my wifeys!"

"Your... what?"

"Take this!" Red shot out another yo-yo from her other sleeve. Like the previous yo-yo, it was initially small but it grew until it was even larger than its wielder.

Through the banter, the witch had recovered enough of her wits to fly to the side so that the toy just passed beside her. She then zoomed towards Red as her yo-yo began its journey back, her right arm ready to thrust her spear right at the red-haired girl. A jolt of pain seized Arfoire, thought, from several blue plasma balls that zoomed towards her and caused her to lose her balance mid-dash and just fell right in front of Red. The red-haired girl took her chance to jump away and catch her yo-yo.

Growling, Arfoire shot back up and looked around for the source of the electricity. It only took her a few moments to locate 5pb, her fingers on her guitar. "I'm going to enjoy tearing you apart!" she yelled as she flew towards the idol with her grip tight on her lance.

"5pb!" IF shouted, too far away to intercept. She dashed forward but that only made the image of Arfoire planting her feet right in front of the blunette and lunging with her weapon all the more horribly close and large.

Then the blunette flipped backwards, kicking Arfoire right in the chin with both feet and making the witch bend uncomfortably far back. Arfoire recovered and bent forward again, holding her aching chin and mouth, only to find 5pb swinging her guitar like an axe and slamming its body right in her face and knocking her backwards. The idol quickly twisted the guitar around in her grasp to hold it normally once more and quickly strummed it. Blue electricity grew from the instrument again and shot out as orbs that shocked Arfoire.

"Gnnnngh...!" the witch groaned, doubling over from the shock.

"Take this!" cried 5pb as she slammed her guitar down on Arfoire's head. "And that!" she yelled as she swung her guitar upwards Arfoire's head. "And this again!" She cried as she brought her guitar down aga—

"No!" Arfoire grabbed the guitar midswing and wrenched it out of the idol's hand before tossing it away. The motion was immediately followed through with a punch that knocked 5pb to the ground. Snarling, Arfoire rose her lance-spear once more. "You landed a decent hit, brat, but that is the best you will ever do!"

Jacob then came flying in with his legs outstretched, double-kicking Arfoire in the face and blasting her metres away just like she did to him. With her sufficiently far away, Jacob landed next to 5pb and helped her up with his gauntlet-clad hands. "You alright?"

The idol nodded. "Y-Yes."

"That's good to hear." Annoyed, he turned to look at Red and IF. "What the hell were you two doing just watching?"

"S-Sorry!" stammered IF, running up to the pair with Red. "I was just surprised because that was... That was really cool."

"Heck yeah it was!" Red leaned in closer to 5pb, gazing at her with pink hearts of wanton admiration acting as her irises. "When did you learn how to fight like that? That was awesome! I thought Iffy was the only one who could do movie kicks like that!"

"I-I-I-I-I-I..." 5pb, once again, was reduced to a sweating, stammering wreck.

"Ugh..."

The party immediately got onto the defensive as they heard Arfoire's groaning. The witch shakily pushed herself off the ground and turned to the quartet with a snarl on her face.

She rushed towards them, lance in hand and without a single word of gloating. 5pb dashed away to grab her guitar, Jacob took to the air, and IF charged at Arfoire with Red right behind her. IF sidestepped Arfoire's upwards slash and punched her hidden blade towards the witch's left arm. Arfoire twirled her weapon and deflected the small blade, sending IF lurching to the side. Arfoire sneered as she lunged forward at the opportunity of the helpless victim but Jacob fired his massive red laser from above, engulfing her in its blast. "Nngh...!" she grunted in pain as she withstood the attack for several seconds before it subsided.

Feeling the absence of the massive laser, Arfoire stopped bracing. She was then hit by Red's yo-yo that exploded on impact. IF, hearing Arfoire's cry of pain, saw the opening and rushed to attack at once.

Jacob sighed. "I know it helps a bit but I wish my gigantic killer laser beam did more than just irritate my enemies and my eyes when I use it."

The brunette dashed towards Arfoire and leapt up to kick her head but the witch flipped up her arm to block it and then struck IF with a swing of her lance. "_Gah!_" The Guild member was sent rolling a short distance away but, with a grunt, she stood back up again just as quickly. Extending both hidden blades, she ran towards the witch once more. Arfoire swung at IF but, ever the agile one, the Moderatist rolled under the swung and ended up behind her. Arfoire twisted her body and spun her cross-lance in a circle to strike IF behind her. The brunette rolled out of the way but one of the lance's edges nicked her hair. She continued to leap and spin as Arfoire continued her own smooth motions, which left IF unable to attack without risking getting torn apart by the jagged edges of her weapon.

A yellow orb shot down from the sky and struck Arfoire right in the chest. As the bewildered woman lost her balance, IF pounced on her and knocked her down. She attempted to drive her hidden blades into Arfoire's shoulders but the witch rolled back and kicked her off her person and stood back up in one swift manoeuvre. Another massive yo-yo was thrown her way but she spun out of its path of flight and zoomed towards its wielder.

"Uh oh!" shouted Red just before Arfoire grasped her head and threw her across the concrete ground. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!" cried the red-haired girl with each successive bounce.

Three more orbs of electricity flew at Arfoire but she simply raised her lance and fired six magic missiles, three of them colliding with the orbs and the other three impacting the idol and blasting her to the ground.

With three combatants down, Arfoire looked to the sky at Jacob. She saw him holding his gauntlets together and pointed at her with the area between the palms glowing red.

"Wide Roar!" he yelled and fired another wave of crimson energy in Arfoire's direction. This time, the witch flew to the side and kept flying. Jacob rotated in the air, bringing his attack around as he went to try and capture Arfoire in it, but his turning was far too slow and Arfoire flew far too quickly. He stopped his attack and turned around to look behind him, right as Arfoire showed up in his vision and kicked him across the sky. As he tumbled, Arfoire flew towards him again and kicked him down into the ground.

The ground gave way, cracks showing around where Jacob crashed. His arm twitched but refused to move more than that. "Urgh..." he groaned, shuffling his limbs as he slowly tried to get back on his feet.

As if she was waiting for this very situation, Arfoire instantly charged at his prone form. "_You're mine now!_" she shouted with her weapon at the ready.

Even groggy, Jacob recognised the scenario immediately. The sensations of the past re-emerged in his mind; his stomach tensed as he remembered her lance driving into it and the tearing agony of the impalement. Sheer survival instinct pumping him with adrenaline, he rose his arms up in front of him but both in different ways; his right forearm faced towards Arfoire as if he was going to create a shield but he placed his left palm on the underside of his right forearm like he intended to fire an energy ball. He clenched his eyes shut and turned away, charging up his attacks in both gauntlets without regard for what the results would be and fired.

"What th—" he heard Arfoire blurt out before something impacted her hard and forced the breath out of her. He opened his eyes and saw her flying backwards before she righted herself in the air and landed back on her feet, although she still looked bewildered.

"Jacob, what was that?" IF asked.

"Huh?" Jacob's head snapped towards his friend.

"Hey, do it again! Whatever you did just now!"

"Wh... Okay then!" Jacob raised his arms like before but deliberately this time.

"You are not going to get the better of me again!" Arfoire snarled as she charged at him once more.

"Since when did we ask you?" 5pb strummed her guitar quickly and sent out more shocking orbs in Arfoire's direction. The spheres surrounded the witch, harming her with their static and slowing her down. Arfoire gritted her teeth and flew to the idol instead, damning the pain, but IF and Red dashed into her path.

Jacob watched as a new shield formed in front of him. It was slightly larger than his one-handed shield but, with his palm pressed against the underside of his forearm, it was yellow instead of clear. With one more thought, Jacob fired the vertical disk at Arfoire, who had the presence of mind to jump backwards and dodge.

A fusion of his shield and his energy ball attacks. Jacob looked at the palms of his gauntlets with unfamiliarity, like he was just wearing them again for the first time. "I can combine my abilities...?"

"This is ridiculous!" Arfoire cried. She sidestepped IF and made her way to Red, who was standing in front of 5pb but with an oddly rigid stance and her hand up her sleeve. "Die!"

_SLASH!_

It was like her breath had been snatched from her. Although it was holding her lance, Arfoire's right hand pushed her up from the ground as she was brought to her knees. She held her stomach with her left arm, trying to contain the pain left by... whatever trick that little girl pulled. It felt like she just got slashed right across the stomach but with what? The girl carried no sword. While thinking about this, her breath returned only slightly and she panted in exertion.

Red, humming with pride, spun her flying disc on her finger before returning it to the inside of her sleeve. "I might just toy with you but you should never toy with me."

"How long have you been waiting to use that?" asked IF.

"Ever since I met Jake. I got bored of waiting for our eventual final battle for your soul, though."

Mustering a groan, Arfoire stood up after a painful attack for the second time that day. Once more, IF, 5pb, and Red readied their weapons and stood with caution.

"I have had it with you..." Arfoire's voice was low and the party could see the slightest of shaking from her. "I cannot lose to you. You... and only four of you, even without a CPU amongst you, have humiliated me without end." The witch then glared at them with dark eyes as full of anger as she could muster. "I swear that, upon this hour's end, _I will reduce you all to ashes!_"

Before she took even one step forward, another Wide Roar separated Arfoire from the three girls. From the other side, Arfoire could hear the idol strumming her guitar so she flew up just as blue lightning spheres passed through where she just was. She hovered over the fading beam and landed behind 5pb, surprising the idol and swung down her spear-lance on her head but 5pb flipped up her guitar so its underside blocked the polearm. Red brought out her oversized kendama and prepared to swing it but Arfoire spun around and kicked Red in the stomach, making her drop her weapon as she skidded along the ground.

IF went for a sweeping kick but the witch levitated upwards, letting the brunette's leg pass harmlessly below her before she let herself down on the ground again. At the same time, 5pb took a swing with her guitar but Arfoire blocked it with her own weapon. She drove her spear-lance down towards IF but the brunette rolled out of the way and quickly stood back up before jumping backwards as Arfoire stabbed her polearm forward.

By this point, 5pb had put some distance between herself and the witch and began playing her guitar. She conjured more electric spheres into existence before flinging them at her enemy. Arfoire danced around the projectiles with little effort and fired half a dozen of magic missiles in retaliation. One struck the guitar but the other five hit the idol on varying points of her body, bursting on impact.

"Kyaaah!" cried 5pb as she was launched off her feet and onto her back. Impressively, the idol still held onto her guitar.

"You _bitch!_" shouted IF as she rushed at Arfoire.

Arfoire sneered at the Moderatist but noticed another yellow disc zooming towards her, this time horizontal rather than vertical and faster for it. Arfoire quickly blocked the offending attack but her surprise made it a weak defence; she had to twist her body just so that the force wouldn't trip her over. She looked towards the origin of the disc and found Jacob standing with his left arm pointed towards her, its hand tilted down and his other hand holding the underside of his left forearm. Unlike his previous stance, this one was meant for offence.

IF didn't hesitate to take advantage of Arfoire's momentarily shattered balance and pounced on her with her left hidden blade extended. She held onto Arfoire's left shoulder and thrust her blade towards the opposite but the witch caught her left arm by the wrist and, with a strength that could only be described as supernatural, tore IF from her person and swung her around. One of Jacob's smaller lasers was splashing against her back but it was little more than an annoyance; it failed to interrupt her from using her other hand to grab the back of IF's head and driving her face into the ground.

One more horizontal disc was shot at Arfoire but her block was stronger, quicker, and more steadfast this time and she deflected the projectile. She then sped towards Jacob, who had shifted his arms so his wrists were pressed together and his fingers were flayed out. Arfoire recognised this stance as well as the building shimmer of red light in his hands. She protected her face with her left arm and kept her right arm with her spear-lance pointed outwards.

Instead of a Wide Roar, however, what she received was a burning sphere fired right into the arm protecting her face.

"Wha_rgh?!_" Arfoire couldn't keep down her yelp of pain. Her arm felt like it had just been punched by a fist of burning ashes. She tripped onto the ground in front of Jacob, keeping her arm tucked to her stomach. Jacob stepped forward and, with all the strength in his right gauntlet-clad hand, slammed it up under Arfoire's face with an uppercut. The tremendous blow forced Arfoire upwards into a loose standing position.

Without waiting for her to fall down, Red swung her kendama and slammed the dazed Arfoire towards IF. "Hey Iffy, catch!"

Upright again, the Moderatist grinned with readiness in spite of her injuries. When the witch reached her, IF jumped into the air, wrapped her legs around Arfoire's head, and twisted her body to bring the witch down into the solid earth.

That was the intention, anyway. Unfortunately for IF, Arfoire managed to keep steady and resist being thrown to the ground. She then grabbed IF's legs, took the brunette off her shoulders and then threw her towards Red.

"Uh o—" was all Red managed to say before IF's flying body knocked her away.

Arfoire faced 5pb, her spear-lance glowing with crimson power before releasing it as a volley of attacks that swarmed towards the idol. Jacob flew in front of her and crossed his arms, generating a large transparent barrier that absorbed Arfoire's magic missiles. Frowning, Arfoire flew towards Jacob and double-kicked his shield. Although the barrier blocked light attacks just fine and protected those behind it from additional damage, Jacob still had to withstand the force behind each assault and any heavy strikes were enough to launch him along with his barrier. His flying body impacted 5pb and she too was blown away, the both of them hitting the ground moments later.

Smirking and twirling her weapon in her hand, Arfoire took a step towards the idol and the male—

_BANG!_

A gasp exploded from the witch as a bullet was fired into her side. Her face snapped to the left and she saw IF, standing shakily and bleeding from her head but her arm raised all the same. The small barrel on her vambrace breathed fresh smoke. Beside her, Red was even worse for wear but her flying discs were drawn and her fingers danced for the opportune moment to use them.

Jacob groaned as he pushed himself back up. "This really isn't going our way... You alright, 5pb?"

Taking deep and heavy breaths, the idol stood up once more. "I'm fine," she grunted as she rubbed her shoulder. "But we are really at a big disadvantage."

"We're doing everything we can but she's just not staying down... It's going on forever..."

IF, Red, and Arfoire continued to skirmish as Jacob and 5pb caught their breaths. While the witch pushed very aggressively, IF and Red were much more defensive. They dodged and (barely) blocked each of Arfoire's strikes and attacked without causing much damage but stopped her from getting too much momentum. IF threw her hidden blade at Arfoire's right side but she spun away from it. This put her in position to be sliced along the back of her legs by Red's flying discs but she blocked both of them with her lance. IF continued attacking and moving around the witch before Arfoire finally had enough and forced IF away from her. At the same time, Red jumped back.

Now IF, Red and Jacob stood around Arfoire at three points in the shape of a triangle.

"Rush her!"

At Jacob's call, him, IF, and Red dashed towards Arfoire in complete sync. Red traded in her flying discs for her kendama and leapt, holding it behind her head. IF extended her hidden blades and held her arms back with the intent to thrust them forward. Jacob, currently the fastest of the three thanks to his jetpack, extended one hand out and held the other back, one preparing to fire an orb and the other preparing to punch the witch.

Arfoire smirked. "Is that all?"

One twirl of her spear-lance deflected the orb fired by Jacob. She continued moving the spear until it was in Red's way and blocked the powerful swing of her toy hammer. With her left hand, she released a pulse that blasted IF back and away from her. She snapped a kick upwards to catch Jacob right in the chin and drop him like a stone. Red had broken away from Arfoire's block, spun around for momentum and attempted to strike Arfoire horizontally but the witch deflected even that and batted Red away entirely.

"Hey!" Jacob's cry caught the witch's attention and she turned around only to find him rocketing at her as fast as his jetpack would allow. His entire body crashed into her and sent her flying back before he stopped charging and landed on the ground. While she was landing and recovering her balance, Jacob ran towards her while firing a laser from his left palm. The red beam forced her to turn her head away but she evaded it soon enough, right in time to catch a right-handed punch from Jacob.

With him right where she wanted him, she returned by thrusting her weapon at Jacob's eye. In one unreal moment, the jagged blade pierced his flesh.

"_AAAH—_"

A _clang!_ sounded as a trident flew in and caught Arfoire's spear-lance between its prongs and pushed it away from Jacob's face, making a few drops of blood shake off and fall to the ground. However, Jacob still collapsed on his knees, holding his left eye in his hands.

"Another one? Who's there?!" Arfoire demanded as she looked in the direction of the trident's arrival. Anger quickly became surprise as she saw a tall silhouette coming from the open doors of the Basilicom. The silhouette reached up and adjusted his tall hat. "A... Archbishop?"

"Yvoire?" IF blurted in disbelief.

"I came to investigate all of the commotion. What is going on out here?" he questioned as he surveyed the scene. He knew IF and Jacob well enough, and 5pb was extremely famous, but the red-headed girl was a mystery to him. And that purple witch who, unlike the other four, didn't look anywhere near worn down... "And who are you?"

5pb took it upon herself to rush up to Jacob's side and shake him by his shoulder. "Hey! Jacob! Are you okay?"

"I..." he panted, "I'm... I'm fine..." Steadily, he removed his hand from his eye. The lower-left of the palm was stained with blood. His eye was unharmed but a thin scratch ran along the side of his head. "Sorry, I overreacted a bit... I just thought that could've been a lot worse..."

The idol sighed. "Well..." She smiled at him. "That's true. It's a good thing you're alright."

He chuckled. "Thankfully, yeah." Jacob walked over to the fallen trident and tossed it over to the Archbishop. "Yvoire, catch!"

The weapon fell at his feet. "My thanks!" he called as he ducked down and picked it up, whereupon he spun it around and held it pointed at Arfoire. "There is nowhere left to run. Face your punishment, heretic."

"Ahahahaha_ha!_" Arfoire cackled. "You truly have no idea!"

Arfoire flew backwards to recover her polearm. IF and Red fired their bullets and pachinko balls at her but the attacks, while stinging, failed to deter her and she flicked up the weapon from the ground using her foot. She caught it as it spun in the air and turned around just in time to block a downwards strike from the Archbishop's trident. He pushed as hard as he could but Arfoire was barely exerting herself even with just one hand. Using two, she pushed him away with ease and proceeded to bat away two flying discs thrown by Red and an empty bottle of reflex thrown by IF, who looked a lot healthier.

As Red, IF and Yvoire held off Arfoire once again, 5pb looked at Jacob. "I think I have an idea."

"Hm?" He looked at her curiously.

"Those gauntlets of yours can combine energies to produce different effects, correct?"

"Yeah, seems like it. Why?"

With a slight _click_, 5pb detached the pick hanging from her choker. "Try firing the Wide Roar."

He realised her plan in that instant. He eagerly extended his arms and began charging up his second largest yet second most ineffectual attack in between his palms.

The idol grinned and began strumming her guitar with her heart-shaped pick. Sparks of blue lightning began shooting around her instrument and gathered towards Jacob's gauntlets. The red glow became blue. The gathering energy became more excited. Jacob's arms began to twitch.

"O-Oh m-my g-god...!" he stammered.

"What's wrong?"

"I-It's t-tickling m-my a-arms!"

5pb had to hold herself back from laughing. "Then this is bound to work! Get ready!"

Arfoire pinned the head of Yvoire's trident to the ground, rammed him with her shoulder, punched him in the stomach, and struck his chin with an uppercut. Red fired more pachinko balls, prompting the witch to turn around and attempt to run Red through with her spear lance but Red dodged, ran forward, and sliced along Arfoire's side with her flying disc. A grunt of pain escaped the witch before she spun around with her lance outstretched. Red jumped back and IF jumped forward, punching out her legs right in the witch's stomach and causing her to double over.

"Everyone out of the way!" called 5pb.

Red, IF and Yvoire looked towards the idol and, eyes widening in record time, ran away from Arfoire as fast as they could. Arfoire, still holding her stomach, looked up at the blue light and froze.

The idol and male shouted at once right before firing, "_Discordous Covenant!_"

With a shrieking howl, the world suddenly turned sapphire as a gargantuan wave of shining blue energy engulfed Arfoire. Red, IF, and Yvoire covered their ears, turned away, and closed their eyes to avert themselves from the blinding, racing lights and the ear-tearing roar of the attack. Jacob closed his eyes as well but kept his hands firing the attack, while 5pb kept strumming her guitar with all her concentration and relied on her headphones to protect her, no matter how much the combination attack was shaking them and making them buzz with the vibration alone.

One unbearably loud moment followed another, like being tossed around in a tidal wave, then the howl died down. The world of blue receded and reality took its proper place.

Sensing the normality, Red, IF, 5pb, and Yvoire opened their eyes. For twenty metres forward from Jacob, the concrete had been burnt utterly black. Grains of the concrete had been shredded off, fringing the path like a shadow. The legs of IF and Red were slightly blackened from these ashes and their clothes had been similarly dirtied.

In the middle of it all, Arfoire miraculously remained intact. Her clothes were only slightly torn yet they were irreparably black. Blue sparks of electricity jumped and coursed along her body. Her legs apart, she stood hunched and twitching.

"You've got to be kidding me..." Jacob grunted before falling to his knees and covering his ears. "Frig, that hurts...!"

"I will... admit..." She coughed slightly, "that... was... good... But... I am... not... down just yet..."

Yvoire growled. "Even after such a brilliant assault, she still stands."

"Not for long!" Red pulled out two yo-yos and threw them at Arfoire. "Hasta la vista, witchy!" she shouted, her confidence growing like her yo-yos did mid-flight.

Snarling, the witch deflected both of the yo-yos with one swing of her spear-lance. However, her balance was sacrificed and she had to use her weapon to support herself so that she wouldn't collapse.

"Oh come _on!_" whined Red.

"Okay, screw this..." Jacob stood up once more and pulled out a bottle of reflex. "5pb, I'm going to go get some help. I'll fly down and be back before you know it. "

The idol nodded at him firmly. "We can hold her back if she's like this and you need to recover anyway. Drink plenty of reflex as you go. Hopefully, we'll be able to finish her off before you return."

"Sounds good to me." Jacob rose into the air again, high above the trees surrounding the Basilicom. "IF, Red! I'll be back soon! Hold on!"

"Huh?" IF turned around just in time to see Jacob flying off towards the main landmass, too far away for him to hear her if she called out. "Oh. Well, okay then."

"Hm. We're one ally short," Yvoire commented. "No matter. You, witch, are on your last legs. Surrender yourself or prepare for execution at my hand."

Arfoire chuckled. "Oh, my poor fool. You couldn't execute me if I was a mule. But, if you're so confident... I'll correct that." Arfoire stood a bit straighter. She closed her eyes and relaxed her posture. Her relaxation unsettled Red, IF, 5pb, and Yvoire but they stood wary regardless.

Then a sudden purple pulse burst around Arfoire like an aura. The electricity that charged her had been entirely vanquished. Smirking, the witch rolled her shoulders without any of the paralysis that had afflicted her. "Well now, that is _much_ better."

"No... No way..." 5pb could hardly speak.

"Don't be mistaken; you have indeed damaged me significantly." Arfoire cradled the back of her neck with her hand and twisted it around. "But I am no wooden duck that will go down with one good shot."

* * *

><p><em>Knock, knockknockknock knock. Knock knock.<em>

"Huh?" Neptune looked away from the TV to look at the door. Just as her attention was taken, a large 'BOOM!' sounded from the TV. Neptune snapped her gaze back to it but, to her horror, she lost her last life in a fighting game. "Crackers!"

"Neptune lost," Gust pointed out, holding a Wii mote horizontally like Compa and Nisa also did. "Loser answers door."

"Your face answers the door..." Neptune mumbled as she stood up.

_Knockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockk—_

"I'm coming! Jeez!" The CPU made her way to the room's door. She reached out towards the handle—

"NEPTUNE!" shouted Jacob as he forced the door open so quickly that Neptune's clothes rustled. He looked oddly frantic and rattled. Also, his clothes were very dirty like he had been rolling on the ground. "How would you like to actually get into a good fight again after who knows how long?"

Neptune blinked. "When did you get here?"

"Splendid! Let's go!" With that, Jacob seized the CPU's wrist and dragged her down the hallway.

Compa, Nisa and Gust blinked as they looked at the now vacant portal.

"Did Jake just kidnep Nep-Nep?" asked Compa.

They all blinked again.

"Should we follow them?" asked Nisa.

"I think so," answered the nurse.

* * *

><p>"Hngh!" grunted Yvoire as he blocked a powerful horizontal swipe of Arfoire's lance with his trident. The attack had such force behind it that it left him momentarily shaken, long enough for her to punch him in the chest and send him flying back.<p>

Arfoire then quickly spun around and fired a volley of magic missiles at an equally numerous volley of plasma spheres that 5pb launched at her. "Aha ha ha!" she cackled. "You fought well! Very well, in fact!"

IF and Red closed in on Arfoire with their hidden blades and flying discs but Arfoire deflected each of their strikes and returned with her own. Despite this, the two of them continued pressing on and Arfoire, weakened tremendously, was pushed back further and further. "I will reign triumphant in the end!" she shouted. "All you are doing is delaying your demise!"

"_ARFOIRE!_"

All of the combatants looked up at the furious call. Two individuals were flying to the battle zone; one left behind a purple glow with her sword and butterfly-esque wings while the other trailed along behind her. Purple Heart descended furiously with her sword and would have skewered Arfoire had the witch not dodged to the side so that the blade impaled the ground instead. The CPU removed her weapon from the ground as Jacob landed behind her. "Hello, Arfoire. I was waiting for you to strike. You threaten my friends, you lie to all of us... I'm going to enjoy this fight, even if you're not at full power."

Arfoire gritted her teeth. Her left hand kept reaching to her right side almost reflexively. Her grip on her spear-lance was slackening. Her posture was loose and unbalanced. She had taken far too much damage. If it was only those three girls and the Archbishop, she might have won but now she had a CPU to contend with.

"This isn't over!" she declared as she turned around and flew away.

"You're not getting away from me this time!" Purple Heart gave chase with fervour. "I have a score to settle with you!"

Jacob flew to the side so he wasn't behind Purple Heart and fired a Wide Roar in front of Arfoire. The witch, however, charged through Jacob's laser without any sense of hesitation. At the very least, the attack slowed her down so Purple Heart and Jacob could catch up. The male reached her first and attempted to strike her down with a punch but she caught his arm and pulled him in front of Purple Heart. As the CPU stopped in her tracks and ceased her attack, Arfoire then threw Jacob at her. Purple Heart, anticipating such a move, flew up and out of Jacob's path of flight so that he could be thrown and beaten on the concrete rather than her.

Nothing protected Arfoire now. Purple Heart moved in and slashed down only to come into contact with Arfoire's impeccably-timed spear-lance summon. The two weapons pressed and pushed against each other but Purple Heart was gradually gaining more of an edge. With a cry, she tore Arfoire's block apart and then kicked her back.

Arfoire kneeled and gasped for breath. Purple Heart marched towards her nemesis, her black sword waiting eagerly at her side. "I knew you were going to be a pest but I never expected you to reach this level of villainy." She took hold of her blade with both hands. "With you gone, Momus will be next. If you of all people boast of his power, then I have no reason to be afraid."

The witch chuckled and sneered. "Oh, my little thick-headed goddess... Momus isn't the sort of thing you can kill."

_Clank...!_

The CPU stopped. Her head snapped to the right, beyond the trees and towards the distant noise. The others did the same.

"Was that the carrier?" Yvoire asked.

"W-Whatever!" Refocusing on Arfoire, the CPU realised that she made use of the distraction to fly away. She didn't get too far, though, and Purple Heart could easily catch up if she hurried. "Don't you dare run away from—"

"—aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_AAAAAAAAAAHHH!_" screamed Nisa as she was pulled along via a string of bandages by a carriage car that was flying over the trees, falling right in front of Purple Heart with a deafening _**CRASH**_ that blasted the pavement as a fine powder against her, while Nisa was launched onto the Basilicom's outer wall.

Purple Heart transformed back into Neptune, possibly not by choice. She was just as still from shock as she was in her HDD form and her mouth was frozen into an 'o' that never said a word.

No one else made a sound as the battered heroine slid down the wall like an old fridge magnet. Flakes of the wall fell out from the indent that Nisa left upon impact. Some broke apart into fine dust on her exhausted body.

Groaning, the gondola doors were eventually opened by Gust. Without the door supporting her, the alchemist fell to the ground quickly, gasping for breath and her eyes open wide yet strangely dead.

Compa, with a great deal of hesitation, rested her shaking fingers on the door frame and peeked out. It was silent. Purple Heart, Jacob, Red, IF, and 5pb only looked at her without a word. "N...Nep-Nep...?" Compa asked tentatively as she stepped out of the gondola.

Neptune blinked twice. "C-Compa?" she uttered.

"Gnnnnngh..." Nisa's bones were cricking loud enough for everyone to hear as she pushed herself up from the ground. She rolled her shoulders, producing a blender-like sound, and rolled her neck to produce the same results. "I came as quickly as I could..." she said, fixing her goggles. "What's going on?"

"I should be asking that." Jacob responded. "What did you _do?_"

Nisa and Compa looked back at the gondola. The windows were shattered and the impact flattened the entire frame. No one was going to be riding on that unless they were absolutely insane or the person in charge of maintaining the transports was absolutely lacking in funds and/or ethics.

"Um..." Nisa nervously patted her hair, causing loose dust to fall from it. "I just wanted to get here quickly..."

* * *

><p><em>Nisa, Compa and Gust, being unable to fly, had to run as fast as they could if they were to make it to the brawl. Unfortunately, while Nisa was a well-trained heroine of justice with strong and durable legs, Compa and Gust were a ditzy nurse-in-training and a diminutive alchemist respectively. Hence, once they arrived at the cable car, Compa and Gust collapsed onto the ground as they panted hard enough to propel a ship.<em>

_"Not... worth... it..." Gust wheezed. "Couldn't... pay me... enough..."_

_Inspecting the inter-island transport, Nisa clenched her fists. "This won't do at all! My dearest sister and my diligent student are fighting for their lives! This piece of garbage is far too slow to reach them in time!"_

_"At... least..." Compa reached to open the door and collapsed against the side, "we... can catch... our breath..."_

_While the nurse and alchemist crawled limply into the cable car without even a pretence of urgency, Nisa stood a few steps away, looking at the ship while holding her chin and tapping her foot. "Hm..."_

_She did this for a few seconds longer than Gust liked, prompting the alchemist to poke her head out and glare at the vigilante. "Hurry...! Don't have all day...!"_

_"Aha!" Shooting out of her thinking pose, Nisa ran to the door and looked at Compa. "Compa! I need as much length of bandage as you can spare!"_

_The nurse, while still glassy-eyed and not entirely healed from expending all her energy, managed to reach into her disk and pull out a roll of bandages that she passed to Nisa. "Sure... Why...?"_

_"Using my justice and your instruments of healing, I shall accelerate us towards the battle! We shall save our comrades in the nick of time! Now make sure you're seated comfortably and securely!"_

_With that, the heroine slammed the door shut with enough force to make Gust and Compa wince and cover their ears. With a tight grip on the bandages, she then jumped up onto the roof of the car. Sharing a glance and blinking at each other, Compa and Gust looked out the window and waited for Nisa to come down. She did after a few seconds, and with a trail of bandages tied around her waist and leading up to the roof of the car. The heroine dusted her hands and jogged to a fair distance away, the line of bandages getting longer and tauter as more distance was put between Nisa and the cable car. With a confident grin, the heroine leaned back and twisted her body._

_By the time Compa and Gust realised what she was up to, it was far too late but panic makes you desperate. "NISA, NO!"_

_"_JUSTICE KICK!_"_

_Nisa's mighty leg flew through the air and punched right into the back of the cable car, launching it hazardously fast along its cable with Compa's bandages taking Nisa along with a sharp intake of air on her part._

* * *

><p>"Well, okay then." Jacob rubbed the back of his neck.<p>

"You're not surprised?" asked Compa.

"I just wasn't expecting a bloody cable car to just drop in front of us like that. That actually does sound like something you would do, Sensei."

Nisa probably would've folded her arms if they weren't so tired.

"You..." Yvoire paused, trying to reach the words so close yet so nonsensical as to be so far away. "You... kicked the gondola...?"

The heroine and nurse-in-training looked at the new speaker. Nisa's face contorted into an expression of rage so abruptly that it was hard to believe she was fatigued to begin with. "_YOU..._" she snarled as she drew her Prinny Gun and marched towards him.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jacob was quick to place a hand on Nisa's shoulder, stilling her for a moment. "Hold on, now."

Nisa was still furious beyond all reckoning but at least she kept herself from lunging at Yvoire.

Jacob sighed. He walked over to the Archbishop, who held his trident closer to him. Jacob extended his hand to him. "Can you stand?"

"I..." Yvoire lowered his guard. He took Jacob's hand in his own and, with Jacob's assistance, stood up. "I can. Thank you."

"That's good to hear."

And then Jacob punched him in the face hard enough to knock him down onto the concrete.

"That wouldn't have been so satisfying, otherwise."

The Archbishop coughed as he pushed himself off the ground once more. His head turned to Jacob and Jacob found himself wondering if silhouettes bled red or black blood. Or if they even bled at all. "What..." Yvoire coughed, "What... is the idea...?"

"Sorry 'bout that. It's just that, after you tried to convince IF to poison her own teammate, did it yourself anyway, drove a wedge into our group, acted like a massive bigot, and broke our dog, I'm a tad incensed and you just happened along as the perfect stress relief."

Something in the Archbishop's face showed surprised. Jacob didn't know what it was—maybe it was in the corners of the silhouette's face—but Yvoire wasn't expecting him to say that. "How did you know...?"

"I was there. I heard _all__..._" The word was spoken as if through a fire in his throat that he kept deliberately small yet healthy enough to let big if he wanted to, "... of it. Every word, every action. I prefer to advocate forgiveness but... Well, Yvoire, you've made me angry. I'm... I'm not ready to forgive you just yet."

Yvoire turned his head down. Jacob kept looking down at Yvoire in turn.

"Hey!" Nisa called. "I wanted to deck him! Why did you stop me?"

"Because I wanted to do it first—"

Before he could finish, Neptune rushed to the Archbishop, forcefully grabbed his collar and hosted him off the ground. "What is your deal?!" she shouted as she shook him more roughly than the party thought she would. "We were a team! Iffy, Compa, Nisa, Gust, Sparky and me! We went on adventures and we did everything together and we were best buddies! Then you came along and tried to make Iffy the broody bad guy! She was my friend, you jerk! One of my first! What is wrong with you?! You're _evil!_"

As Neptune bombarded Yvoire with her tirade, Jacob and IF noticed that she was crying all the while. The Archbishop's face never moved away from the CPU's, though; even while confronted with her emotions, he remained staunch and unchanging.

"H-Hey, Neptune..." IF mumbled too quietly for the CPU to hear as she inched her hand towards her.

"Yvoire," Jacob cut in. "We're looking for Vert. Where is she?"

"And why..." Yvoire spat a black glob of saliva onto the ground. Even if he was bleeding, Jacob couldn't tell. "Why... do you think I would tell you...?"

Jacob took a breath. "Your goddess favours us. You have caused a lot of damage. You did _this_ to us. Now take us to Vert or we'll do something we won't care to regret until later when it'll be too late to fix it. I can guarantee you, we're tempted."

Yvoire turned his eyes from Jacob to look at the other six girls with Jacob and the CPU. 5pb and Red looked at him with confusion but Compa, Nisa, Gust, and IF were livid. He didn't know how precisely angry they were but he knew that was dangerous territory to tread.

The Archbishop growled to himself.

"Fine. Screw it. We'll find her inside." Jacob roughly turned and began walking towards the Basilicom doors.

"No, that will not be necessary..." Groaning, the Archbishop pushed himself to his feet. "I will take you to her... After that witch character just left, I have to confess that I am slightly worried... Do you know what she was doing here?"

"She was the Evangelist," IF answered.

"What?" Yvoire's head quickly snapped to the brunette. "But... What?"

"She was in disguise. She orchestrated the cave-in of the dungeon Neptune was taken to and there's a lot more to her than you know. Too long didn't listen, she's a lying bad guy."

"But..." Panicked, Yvoire turned towards the Basilicom. "But the Evangelist was just in a meeting with Lady Greet Heart!"

Everyone froze. "Wait, so Lady Green Heart..." IF began.

"Then she is in danger!" The Archbishop was fatigued and heavily injured from his brief involvement in the fight against Arfoire but that didn't stop him from charging right back into the Basilicom.

"First Arfoire, now this! C'mon, everyone!" Neptune dashed into the Basilicom with the rest of the two parties trailing behind her.

"So when is someone gonna tell me what's going on?!" Red shouted.

* * *

><p><strong>You know... It really is good to be back. I missed you guys. I missed this place and I missed enjoying writing. I'm happy to be putting out another chapter for you people who read and enjoy this self-insert adventure of mine. How this fic is so popular, I'll never know... but things are as they are, I guess. :D<strong>

**I'd like to give credit to ghostdominion6. He has been a dedicated beta-reader of mine for an absurd amount of time who has been a great source of inspiration as I bounce my narrative off him. He is also writing his own Neptunia fiction, including As You Like It and its ongoing sequels. Give him a read; he's entertaining and thorough.**

**Next chapter? Well, I have something I want to prepare for Christmas so it'll have to be after that, I'm afraid. In the meantime, I hope this suffices.**


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